The history of philosophy, in eight parts by Thomas Stanley.

CHAP. V.

His Apophthegms.

a 1.1 HE was very acute saith Laertius in deriding others. Hee said Euclides school was not 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, but 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, not a School, but Anger, for the Dialecticks affected Litigious dispute. He said Plato's school was not 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, but 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, not an exercitation, but Consumption.

He said, when he look'd upon Pilots, Physicians and Philosophers, Man was the wisest of all Creatures; but when he looked upon Interpreters of Dreams, Prophets or persons puff'd up with wealth or honours, nothing is more foolish then man.

Hee said that he often sound it convenient in life to have ready an answer or a rope.

At a great Feast, seeing Plato eat Olives; Why, saith he, you being a wise man, and going to Sicily for such entertainments, did you not enjoy them: He answer'd, by the Gods Diogenes, I fed upon Olives there likewise as well as upon other things. Di∣ogenes replyed, why then needed you to have gone to Syracuse, were there no Olives at that time in Attica? This Phavorinus as∣cribes to Aristippus, adding, that as he was eating figges, he met him, and said, tast: the other taking and eating; I bad you, saith he, tast, and not devour.

In the presence of some friends of Plato sent to him by Dionysi∣us, Diogenes trod under foot Plato's robe, saying, I tread under foot Plato's pride: But Diogenes, answer'd Plato, how proud are you your selfe, when you think you contemn pride? Sotion relates this as said to the Cynick by Plato.

b 1.2 Diogenes sent to Plato for wine and figgs, he sent him a large vessell of wine and figs; whereupon Diogenes, as you, saith he, being demanded how much 2. and 2. are, answer 20. so you neither grant what I request, nor answer what I demand; thus censuring his verbosity.

Being demanded in what part of Greece he had seen good men; Men, saith he, no where, but good boyes at Lacedaemon.

Making a serious discourse, and perceiving that no man came to hear him, he began to sing, whereat a great many gather'd to∣gether, whom he reproached for coming to trifles, being so back∣ward to serious things.

He said, men contested in undermining or kicking, but none about goodnesse.

He wondred at Grammarians, who enquiring after the mis∣fortunes of Ulysses, forgot their own; and at Musicians, who whilst they tune their instruments, have discordant affections in their souls; and at the Mathematicians, that gazing upon the Sun and Moon, neglected what was just at their feet; and atc 1.3 Oratours, who studyed to speak just things, and neglected to act them; and lastly at covetous persons, for dispraising mony, which they loved above all things.

He reprehended those, who though they commended just men for thinking themselves to be above mony, yet esteemed the rich happy.

He was angry at those, who when they sacrificed to the Gods for their health, feasted at the same time contrary to their health.

He wondered at Servants, who seeing their Masters eat exces∣sively, did not take away their meat.

He praised those, who being about to marry, would not mar∣ry; who being about to go sea, would not go to sea; who being a∣bout to undertake some publick office, would not undertake it; and who being about to bring up children, forbore to bring them up; and who could compose themselves to live with great men,

yet never went to them.

He said, when we stretch out our hand to our friend, we should never clutch our fist.

One bringing him into a new house, and forbidding him to spit, he spat in his face, saying, he could not finde a worse place. Some ascribe this to Aristippus.

Crying out upon a time, Men come hither, a great many flocked about him, whom he fell upon with his stick, and beat them, saying, I called men, not varlets. This Hecaton in his Chr••ae relates.

Alexander said, if he had not been born Alexander, he would have desired to have been born Diogenes.

He said, they were not maimed who were dumb and blinde, but they who had not a wallet.

Going once halfe shaven to a feast of young men, as Metrocles relates, they beat him, whereupon he took their names, and set∣ting them down in a parchment roll, he wore it at his breast, whereby being known, they were reviled and beaten.

He said, he was the Dog of the praised, but none of the praisers durst go a hunting with him.

To one saying, at the Pythian Games I overcame men; No, saith he, I the men, you the slaves.

To those who said to him, you are now old, take your ease; what, saith he, if I were to run a race, should I give over when I were almost at the end, or rather contest with greater courage?

Finding Demosthenes the Orator at dinner in a common victu∣alling house, who ashamed, would have stollen away; nay, saith he, you are now the more popular. Aelian relates it thus, Diogenes being at dinner in a common victualling house, and seeing De∣mosthenes passe by, invited him in, Demosthenes refusing; do you think it, saith Diogenes, a disparagement to dine here, when your Master dines here every day? meaning the common people, to whom Oratours are but servants.

To some strangers who were desirous to see Demosthenes, poin∣ting to him with his middle finger; this, saith he, is he that leads the Athenians.

In reproofe to one who had throwne away his bread, and was ashamed to take it up again, he tyed a string about the neck of a bottle, and dragg'd it after him through the Ceramick.

He said, most men were mad Praeter digitum, all but the finger; if any man should walk pointing with his middle finger, he will be thought mad; if his fore-finger, not so.

He said, the most precious things were sold cheapest, and so on the contrary; for a Statue will cost 3000 pieces of silver, a peck of wheat, two pieces of brasse.

To one, who came to him to study Philosophy, he gave a fish, and bid him follow him, the other ashamed, threw it away and departed: not long after, meeting the same person, he laughing,

said, The friendship betwixt you and me was broke off by a Fish. Diocl••s relates it thus; One saying to him, command me Diogenes, he gave him a penny worth of cheese to bring after him; the other refu∣sing to carry it, our friendship, saith he, a pennyworth of cheese hath dissolved.

Seeing a boy drink water in the hollow of his hand, he took his little cup out of his wallet and threw it away, saying, The boy out-went him in srugality. He threw away his dish also, seeing a Boy that had broken his, supping up his broth in the same manner.

Seeing a woman prostrate her selfe unhandsomely in prayer, and desirous to reprove her superstition, as Zoilus the Pergaean re∣ports, came to her, and said, Are you not ashamed, woman, that God who stands behinde you (for all things are full of him) should see you in this undecent posture.

He said, such as beat others ought to be consecrated to Aescu∣lapius, the God of Chirurgery.

He said, against Fortune we must oppose courage; against Nature, Law, against Passion, Reason.

In the Craneum, Alexander standing by him, as the Sun shone, said to him, ask of me what thou wilt; he answer'd, Do not stand between me and the Sun.

One reading a long tedious discourse, and coming at last neer a blank leafe at the end of the book, Be of good courage friends, saith he, I see land.

To one, proving by the horned Syllogisme that he had hornes, he feeling of his forehead, but I, saith he, feel none. In like manner another maintaining there was no such thing as motion, he rose up and walked. To one disputing concerning Meteors, How long is it, saith he, since you came from heaven?

A wicked man having written over the dore of his house, Let no ill thing enter here: Which way then, saith he, must the Master come in?

He anointed his feet with sweet Unguents, saying, the scent went from the crown of his head into the air; but from his feet to his nostrills.

To some Athenians, that perswaded him to be initiated into some Religious Mysteries, alledging, that such as were initiated had the chiefest places in the other World: It is ridiculous, saith he, if Agesilaus and Epaminondas live there amongst bogges, and the common people that are initiated live in the blessed Islands. Or as Plutarch, hearing these verses of Socrates:

—Thrice happy they Who do these Mysteries survey; They only after death are bless, All miseries pursue the rest;

What, saith he, shall Patoecion the thie••e be in better condition (be∣cause he was initiated) then Epaminondas.

Mice comming to him as he was at dinner; See, saith he, Dio∣genes also maintaineth Parasites.

d 1.4 Diogenes being present at a discourse of Plato's▪ would not minde it, whereat Plato angry, said, Thou dogge, why mind'st thou not: Diogenes unmoved, answered, Yet I never return to the place where I was sold, as doggs do, alluding to Pl••to's voyage to Sicily.

Returning from a Bath, one asked him, if there were many men there; he said, no: The other asking if there were much com∣pany; he said, there was.

Plato defining Man a two-footed Animall without wings, and this definition being approved, Diogenes took a Cock, and plucking off all its feathers, turned it into Plato's School, saying, This is Plato's Man▪ whereupon to the definition was added, having broad nailes.

To one demanding at what time he should dine, if thou art rich, saith he, when thou wilt, if poor, when thou canst.

At Megara, seeing their sheep with thick fleeces, and their children almost naked; It is better, saith he, to be the sheep of a Me∣garaean, then his son.

To one, who hitting him with the end of a long pole, bad him him take heed, Why, saith he, do you mean to hit me again?

He said, the Oratours were the servants of the multitude; Crownes, the biles of glory.

e 1.5 He lighted a candle at noon, saying, I look for a man.

He stood in the rain without any shelter, some that were pre∣sent pittying him; Plato, who was there likewise, said, if you will shew your selves pittifull to him, go away, reflecting upon his vain∣glory.

One giving him a box on the eare, O Hercules, saith he, I knew not that I should have walked with a Helmet.

Medias giving him many blowes with his fist, saying, there are 3000 drachmes [alluding to the fines imposed upon such out∣rages] ready counted for you upon the table: The next day he got a Caes••us, and beat him with it, saying, There are three thousand drachmes ready counted for you.

Lysias an Apothecary asking him, if he thought there were many Gods: How, saith he, can I think otherwise, when I take you to be their enemy. Others ascribe this to Theodorus.

Seeing one that had besprinkled himselfe with water: O unhap∣py man, saith he, dost thou not know, that the errors of life are no more to be washed away by water, then errours in grammer.

He rebuked those who complained of Fortune, saying, They did not request what was good, but that which seemed good to them.

Of those, who are terrified with dreams, he said: You never are concern'd for the things you do waking, but what you fancy in your sleep you make your greatest businesse.

f 1.6 At the Olympick Games the Cryer proclaiming Dioxippus

hath overcome men; he slaves, saith he, but I men.

Alexander sending an Epistle to Antipater at Athens, by one whose name was Athlias, Diogenes being present said, Ath∣lias from Athlias, by Athlias to Athlias, alluding to the name, which implyeth misery.

Perdiccas threatning him with death unlesse he would come to him; that is no great matter, saith he, for a Cantharides or spider may do as much; you should rather have threatned, that you would have liv'd well without me.

He often said the Gods had given to men an easie life, but that it was hidden from those who used choice diet, unguents and the like; whence to one whose servant put on his cloaths, you will not be truly happy, saith he, untill he wipe your nose also, that is, when you have lost the use of your hands.

Seeing some that had the charge of the things belonging to the Temple, leading a man to Prison, who had stoln a Cup out of the Treasury, the great theeves, saith he, lead Prisoner the lesser.

To a young man that throwing stones at a Gibbet, well done, saith he, you will be sure to hit the mark.

To some young men that coming about him, said, take heed you do not bite us: fear not boies, said he, Diogenes eat not Beetes [for so he termed effeminate persons.]

To one feasting, cloath'd in a Lyons skin, do not saith he, defile vertues Livery.

To one extolling the happinesse of Callis••henes, in that living with Alexander he had plenty of all things; nay, saith he, he is not happy, for he dines and suppes when Alexander pleases.

When he wanted money, he said, he went to redemand, not borrow it of his friends.

Seeing a young man going along with some great persons to a Feast, he took him from them, and carried him to his own friends, bidding them to look to him better.

To one neatly dressed, who had asked him some question, I cannot answer you, saith he, unlesse▪ I knew whether you were a man or a wo∣man.

g 1.7 Of a young man playing at Cattabus in a Bath, by how much the better, saith he, so much the worse.

At a Feast one threw a bone to him as to a dog, which he like a dog took up, and lifting his legge 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉,

Orators, and all such as sought glory by speaking, hee called 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, thrice men, instead of 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, thrice wretched.

Hee called an unlearned rich man a sheep with a golden Fleece.

Seeing written upon the Gates of a Prodigall's house, TO BE SOLD; I knew, saith he, being so overcharg'd with wine, it would vo∣mit up the owner.

To a young man professing himself much displeased at the ma∣ny

persons that courted him, let him see, saith he, that you are dis∣pleased by casting off your effeminacy.

Of a foul Bath, where, saith he, shall they be washed that wash here?

A big fellow that plaid on the harp, though by all others dis∣commended for playing ill, he praised, being asked why, because, saith he, being an able fellow, he chooseth rather to play on the harp then to steal.

A certain harper who plaid so ill, that the company alwaies went away and left him, he saluted thus, Good morrow cock, the o∣ther asking why, because, saith he, your Musick maketh every one rise.

Seeing a young man doing somthing; which though it were or∣dinary, he conceived to be unseemly, hee filled his bosome with beans, and in that manner walked through the people, to whom gazing upon him, I wonder, saith he, you look at one and not a•• him.

Hegesias desiring him to lend him some of his writings, you are a fool, saith he, Hegesias, who eat figgs not painted but reall; yet neglec•• true exercitation, and seek after the written.

Seeing one that had won the Victory at the Olympick Exer∣cises feeding sheep; you have made hast, saith he, good man, from the O∣lympick Exercises to the Nemaean, the word alluding to feeding of sheep.

Being demanded how it cometh to passe that Wrastlers are for the most part stupid fellows, he answer'd, because they are made chiefly of the skins of Oxen and swine.

To a Tyrant, demanding of him what brasse was best, he an∣swer'd that whereof, the Statues of Harmodius and Aristogiton were made. This others ascribe to Plato.

Being asked how Dionysius useth his friends, as vessells, saith he, emptying the full, and throwing away the empty.

A young man newly married, having written upon his house, the Son of Jupiter, Hercules, Callinicus dwelleth here let nothing ill enter, hee added, Assistance after a defeat, implying it was too late, he being already married.

He said Covetousness is the Metropolis of all evill.

Seeing one, that had wasted all his means, eating Olives, if you had used to dine so, said he, you would not have supp'd so.

He said, Good men are the Images of the Gods, love is the businesse of idle persons.

Being asked what is the most miserable thing in life, he said, an old man in want.

i 1.8 Being demanded, the bitings of what beasts were most dan∣gerous, Of Wild Beasts, saith hee, a Detractor, of Tame, a Flatterer.

Beholding a picture of two Centaures very ill painted, hee

said, which of these is Chiron; the jeast consisteth in the Greek word, which signifieth worse, and was also the name of a Cen∣taur, tutor to Achilles.

He said, the discourse of flatterers is a rope of honey. He called the belly the Charybdis of life.

Hearing that Didymo, an Adulterer, was taken; he deserves, saith he; to be put out of his name (meaning emasculated)

k 1.9 Being asked why gold lookes pale; because, saith he, many lie in wait for it.

Seeing a woman carried in a Litter; that is not, saith he, a fit cage for such a Beast.

Seeing a Servant that had run away from his Master, sitting up∣on the brink of a well: Young man, saith he, take heed you do not fall in: alluding to the punishment of fugitive servants.

Seeing one that used to steal garments in the bath, he said, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Do you come for unguents, or for another garment?

Seeing some women hang'd upon an Olive-tree; I would, saith he, all trees bore the same fruit.

Seeing a thiefe that used to rob Tombes, he spoke to him in that verse of Homer,

—What now of men the best, Com'st thou to plunder the deceas't?

Seeing a handsome youth all alone asleep, he awaked him, saying in the words of Homer, Awake,

〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉

To one that feasted sumptuously, he said that verse of Homer.

Son, thou hast but a little time to live.

Plato discoursing concerning Idaeas, and naming 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, as if he should say, Tabletty and Cuppeity, he said, I see Plato, the table and the cup, but not the tableity and cuppeity. Plato answered, it is true indeed, you have eyes by which the table and cup are seen; but not an Intellect, by which tableity and cuppeity are seen.

Being demanded what he thought Socrates; he answered, mad. Being demanded at what time a man should marry; a young man, saith he, not yet; an old man not at all.

To one that asked, what he should give him to let him strike him, he answered, a Helmet.

l 1.10 To a young man dressing himselfe neatly if this, saith he, be for the sake of men, you are unhappy; if for women, you are unjust.

Seeing a young man blush; take courage, saith he, that is the co∣lour of Vertue.

Hearing two men plead against one another, he condemned both, saying, one had stollen, and the other had not lost.

Being demanded what wine he thought most pleasant, he an∣swer'd, that which is drunk at anothers cost.

To one that said, many deride thee; he answer'd, but I am not derided: as conceiving, saithm 1.11 Plutarch, those only to be derided, who are troubled at such things.

To one who said, Life is an ill thing: Life, saith he, is not an ill thing, but an ill life is an ill thing▪

n 1.12 As he was dining upon Olives, they caused Tart to be set before him, which he threw away, saying,

Stranger, when Kings approach, withdraw.

The words of Laius's Officers to Oedipus.

Being asked what kinde of dogge he was, he answer'd, When he was hungry, a Spaniel, when his belly was full, a Mastiffe; one of those which many commend, but d••re not take abroad with them a hun∣ting.

Being demanded whether wise men might eat dainties; all things, saith he, as well as others.

o 1.13 Being demanded why men gave to Beggers; and not to Philo∣sophers; because, saith he, they are afraid they may be lame or blinde, but are not afraid they may be Philosophers.

To one that reproached him as having counterfeited mony; indeed, saith he, there was a time when I was such a one as you are; but the time will never come that you will be as I am.

Coming to Mindus, and seeing the Gates very large, the City small; Mindinians, saith he, shut your Gates, left your City run out at them.

Seeing a thiefe that was taken stealing purple, he apply'd that verse of Homer to him,

The purple death, and potent fate have seiz'd.

To Craterus, who invited him to come to him, he returned an∣swer, I had rather lick salt at Athens, then enjoy the greatest delicacies with Craterus.

Meeting Anaximenes the Oratour, who was very fat; Give us, saith he, some of your flesh, it will ease you, and help us.

The same Anaximenes being in the midst of a discourse, Dioge∣nes shewing a piece of salt-fish, diverted the attention of his Au∣ditors; whereat Anaximenes growing angry, See, saith he, a hard penny-worth of salt-fish hath broke off Anaximenes's discourse.

Some ascribe this to him. Plato seeing him wash herbs, came and whisper'd thus to him, If you had followed Dionysius, you would not have needed to wash herbs; to whom he returned this answer in his ear, if you had washed herbs, you needed not to have fol∣lowed Dionyfius.

To one that said to him, many laugh at you and Asses perhaps at them, saith he; but they care not for Asses, nor I for them.

Seeing a young man studying Philosophy: Well done, saith he, you will teach those, who love your outward beauty, to ad∣mire your soul.

To one that admired the multitude of votive offerings in Samo∣thracia, given by such as had escaped shipwrack: There would have been far more, saith he, if those who perished had presented theirs. Others ascribe this to Diagoras the Melian.

To a young man going to a feast, he said, You will come back Chiron: (alluding to the word which implyeth worse) the young man came to him the next day, saying, I went and returned not Chiron: No, saith he, not Chiron, but Eurylion.

Returning from Lacedaemon to Athens, to one that asked him, from whence he came, and whither he went: From men, saith he, to women.

Returning from the Olympick Games, to one that asked if there were much people there; Much people, saith he, but few men.

He compared Prodigalls to fig-trees growing on a precipice, whose fruit men tast not, but crowes and vultures devoure.

Phryne the Curtezan, having set up a golden Statue of Venus at Delphi, he wrot on it, From the iatemperance of the Grecians.

Alexander coming to him, and saying, I am Alexander the great King: And I, saith he, am Diogenes the Dogg.

Being asked why he was called Dogg: I fawn on those that give, saith he, I bark at those that will not give, and I bite the wicked.

As he was gathering figgs, the keeper of the Orchard spying him, told him, it is not long since a man was hang'd upon that Tree: And for that reasou, saith he, I will clense it.

p 1.14 Observing Dioxippus the Olympick victor, to cast many glan∣ces upon a Curtezan: See, saith he, a common Woman leads the mar∣tiall Ramm by the neck.

To two infamous persons stealing away from him: Fear not, saith he, doggs eat not thistles.

To one that asked him concerning a youth taken in adultery, whence he was; he answer'd, of Tegea, Tegea (a City of Arcadia) whereto he alluded, is a publick Brothell.

Seeing one, that in former times had been an ill Wrastler, pro∣fesse Medicine; What is the matter, saith he, have you a designe to cast those down that have thrown you?

Seeing the Son of a common woman throw stones amongst a croud: ••ake heed, saith he, you do not hit your Father.

To a youth, shewing him a sword, given him by one that loved him, he said, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.

To some that extolled one who had bestowed something on him: But you do not praise me, saith he, who deserved to receive it.

To one that redemanded an old Cloak of him, if you gave it me, saith he, I must keep it, if you lent it me, I must make use of it.

To a suppositi tious person that said to him, you have gold in your Cloak, Yes, saith he, and for that reason I lay itq 1.15 under mee when I go to sleep.

Being demanded what he had gained by Philosophy, if nothing else saith hee, at least this, to be preapred for all fortunes.

Being demanded of what Country he was, he answered, a Citi∣zen of the World.

To one that sacrific'd, praying he might have a child, you pray for a child, saith he, but never trouble your self what kind of child it may prove.

At an ordinary, being demanded mony, he answered the Ma∣ster in that verse of Homer,

Ask others, but from Hector hold thy hand.

r 1.16 He said the Mistresses of Kings were Queens; for the Kings did whatsoever they would have them.

The Athenians having decreed to stile Alexander Bacchus, and make me, saith he, Serapts.

To one reproaching him for living in filthy places, the Sun, saith he, visits Kennells, yet is not defiled.

Being at supper in the Temple, they brought him course bread, he threw it away, saying, nothing but what is pure must come within a Temple.

To one that said, why do you, who know nothing, professe Phi∣losophy? he answer'd, though I should but pretend to study Philosophy, yet that were a profession thereof.

To one that recommended his Son to him, saying, hee was very ingenious, and exceeding well educated, he answered, why then doth he need me?

Those who speak good things, but do them not, differ nothing from a Lute, for that neither hears nor hath sense.

Hee went to the Theatre, as all the people were going out, being asked why he did so, This, saith he, is that I study all my life time.

Seeing an effeminate young man, are you not ashamed, saith hee, to use your self worse then Nature hath done? she hath made you a man, but you will force your self to be a woman.

s 1.17 Seeing an ignorant man tuning a Lute, are you not ashamed, saith he, to try to make a Lute sound harmoniously, and yet suffer your life to be so full of discord.

To one that said he was unfit for Philosophy, why do you live, saith he, if you care not for living honestly.

To one who despised his own Father, are you not ashamed, saith he, to despise him who is the cause you are so proud?

Hearing a handsome youth speak foolishly, are you not ashamed, saith he, to draw a leaden dagger out of an ivory sheath.

Being reproached for accepting a Cloak from Antipater, he an∣swered in those words of Homer,

The gifts of Gods must not be thrown away.

One that hit him with a pole, and then bid him take heed, hee struck with his staffe, and said, and take you heed.

To one that sued to a Curtezan, What mean you wretch saith he, to sue for that which is much better to misse.

To one that smelled sweet of Unguents, take heed, saith he, this perfume make not your life stink.

He said, Slaves serve their Masters, but wicked men their passions.

Being demanded why slaves are called 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Footmen, because saith he, they have feet like men, but such minds, as you that ask the question.

Seeing an unskilfull Archer going to shoot, he sate down at the mark, lest, saith he, he should hit me.

He said lovers are unhappy in pleasure.

Being demanded whether death be ill, how, saith he, can that be ill, whereof when it cometh we have no sense.

Alexander coming to him, and saying, do you not fear me? what saith he, are you good or ill, he answered good: who, replies Dio∣genes, fears that which is good?

He said, Learning is a regulation to young men, a comfort to old men, wealth to poor men, and an Ornament to rich men.

To Didymo an Adulterer curing a maids eye, take heed, saith he, least in curing the eie, you hurt not the ball, [the word 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, signifying both the eye-ball and Virginity.]

To one that said his friends lay in wait for him, what then is to be done, saith he, if friends and enemies must be used alike.

Being demanded what is best amongst men, he answered, free∣dom of speech.

Coming into a school, and seeing there many statues of the Mu∣ses, but few Auditors, by the help of the Gods, Master, saith he, you have many Auditors.

To one that asked him how he might order himself best,t 1.18 by re∣prehending, saith hee, those things in your self which you blame in others.

He gave good counsell to a person very dissolute,* 1.19 being deman∣ded what he was doing, he answer'd, washing an Aethiop.

He went backwards into the School of the Stoicks,* 1.20 whereat some laughing, are you not ashamed, saith he, to do that in the whole course of your life, for which you deride me in walking.

Hee said,* 1.21 men provide for their living, but not for their well living.

He said,* 1.22 it was a shame to see Wrastlers and Singing-Masters observe temperate dyet, and moderate their pleasures, one for ex∣ercise, the other for his voice, and yet no man would do so much for Vertue's sake.

He said,* 1.23 Pride, like a shepheard, driveth men whither it plea∣seth.

Seeing the high walls of Megara,* 1.24 he said, Unhappy people, minde not the height of your walls, but the height of their courages who are to stand on the walls.

He compared covetous men to such as have the dropsy,* 1.25 those are full of mony, yet desire more; these of water, yet thirst after more: Passions grow more intense by enjoyment of what they desire.

Seeing a man make love to old rich widowes:* 1.26 This love, saith he, is not blinde, but toothlesse.

Being demanded what beasts were the worst:* 1.27 in the field, saith he, Bears and Lyons, in the City, Usurers and Sycophants.

He compared flattery to an empty tombe,* 1.28 on which Friendship was inscribed.

Blaming Antisthenes for being too remisse in discourse,* 1.29 in regard that when he spoke loudest he could hardly be heard, and calling himselfe the Trumpet of reproofe: Antisthenes reply'd, he was like a Bee, that makes no great noise, yet stings sharply.

He said,* 1.30 reproof is the good of others.

A certain Athenian asking him why he lived not with the La∣cedaemonians,* 1.31 whom he praised so much: Physicians, saith he, though they study health, converse with the sick.

He said,* 1.32 other doggs bark at their enemies, I, my friends, that I may preserve them.

He asked Plato if he were writing Lawes:* 1.33 Plato affirmed he was. Did you not write a Common-wealth before, said Diogenes? I did, answers Plato. And had not that Common-wealth Lawes▪ saith he? The other answering it had: To what end, reply'd Dioge∣nes, do you write new Lawes?

He said,* 1.34 To give Physick to a dead body, or advise an old man, is the same thing?

To a bald man that reviled him,* 1.35 I will not return your reproaches, saith he, yet cannot but commend your hair, for leaving so bad a head.

To an Informer that fell out with him; I am glad,* 1.36 saith he, of the enmity betwixt us, for you hurt not your foes, but your friends.

To one that reviled him;* 1.37 No man, saith he, will believe you when you speak ill of me, no more then they would me, if I should speak well of you.

Alexander sent him a dish full of bones,* 1.38 with this message, It was meat for doggs; he answer'd, Yea, but not sit for a King to send.

He said,* 1.39 it was the same fault to give to them that deserved nothing, as not to give to them that do.

He said,* 1.40 As houses, where there is plenty of meat, are full of mice, so the bodies of such as eat much are full of diseases.

At a Feast,* 1.41 one giving him a great cup full of wine, he threw it away; for which being blamed, If I had drunk it, saith he, not only the wine would have been lost, but I also.

Being demanded what was hardest,* 1.42 he answer'd, To know our selves, for we construe most things according to our own partiality.

He said,* 1.43 Medea was a wise woman, not a Witch, who by la∣bour and exercise corroborated the bodies of effeminate persons, whence arose the fable, that she could renew age.

To one that profest himselfe a Philosopher,* 1.44 but argued litigious∣ly, he said, Why do you spoile the best part of Philosophy, yet would be thought a Philosopher?

Questioning one of those young men that followed him,* 1.45 he was silent; whereupon Diogenes, Do you not think, saith he, it be∣belongs to the same man to know when to speak, and when to hold his peace?

Being demanded how a man should live under the authority of superiours;* 1.46 as we do by fire, saith he, not too near, lest it burn, not too far off, lest we freez.

Seeing some women talking privately together:* 1.47 Behold, saith he, the Asp borrowes poyson from the Viper.

Being demanded what was the heaviest burthen the earth bears,* 1.48 he answered, an ignorant man.

An Astrologer in the Forum discoursing to the people,* 1.49 and shewing them in a tablet the erratick Starrs: No, saith Diogenes, it is not the Starres that erre, but these, pointing to the people.

Being demanded what men are the most noble:* 1.50 They, saith he, who contemn wealth, glory, and pleasure, and over-master the contraries to these, poverty, ignominy, pain, death.

Seeing the servants of Anaximenes carrying many goods,* 1.51 he demanded to whom they belong'd; they answer'd, to Anaxime∣nes. Is he not ashamed, reply'd Diogenes, to have so much houshold stuffe, and yet not be master of himselfe.

He said,* 1.52 Vertue dwelleth neither in a rich City, nor a private House.

He said,* 1.53 Poverty is a selfe-taught help to Philosophy, for what Philosophy endeavours to perswade by words, poverty enforceth in practise.

To a wicked man reproaching him for his poverty;* 1.54 I never knew, saith he, any man punished for poverty, but many for wickednesse.

He called Poverty a selfe-instructing vertue.* 1.55

To one that reproached him with poverty:* 1.56 What mean you, saith he; poverty never made a Tyrant, riches many.

Alexander seeing him asleep in his Tubb,* 1.57 said, O Tubb full of wisdome: The Philosopher rising up, answer'd, Great King,

One drop of Fortune's better far Then Tubbs repleat with wisdom are.

To whom a stander by reply'd,

One drop of Wisdom Fortune's Seas excells; In unwise soules misfortune ever dwells.

Seeing an old woman painted,* 1.58 if this he for the living, you are de∣ceived, saith he, if for the dead, make hast to them.

To one bewailing his own misfortune,* 1.59 as that he should not die in his own Country, be of comfort, saith he▪ the way to the next World is alike in every place.

Having a great pain in his shoulder which troubled him much,* 1.60 one said to him in derision, why dost thou not die Diogenes, and free thy self from this misery, he answer'd, it is sit they should live who know how to order their life, for you who know not what to do or say, it is a convenient time to die.

He used to say,* 1.61 Aristotle dineth when Philip pleaseth, but Dioge∣nes when it pleaseth Diogenes.

At Cori••th,* 1.62 seeing Dionysius the younger, who was deposed from the Kingdom of Sicily, This is a life, saith he, you deserve not, you merit rather not to live here freely and without fear, but at home in per∣petuall imprisonment.

To some who commended Plato,* 1.63 he said, what hath hee done wor∣thy commendation, having professed Philosophy so long, yet never moved any to grief.

To one demanding how he might take the greatest revenge upon his Enemy,* 1.64 he answered, by being good and vertuous your self.

In commending his Master Antisthenes,* 1.65 he would say of him, of rich he made me poor, and instead of a fair house, made me live in a Tubb.

Notes

• a 1.1

  Laert.
• b 1.2

  St••b. Ser. 133
• c 1.3

  Stob. 296.
• d 1.4

  Aelian. var. hist. 14. ••3.
• e 1.5

  Stab. Ser. 4.
• f 1.6

  Et Plut. 〈◊〉〈◊〉 curiositate.
• g 1.7

  Vit. Athenae.
• i 1.8

  Et. Stob. ser. 65
• k 1.9

  Stob. Ser. 55.
• l 1.10

  Stob. Ser. 161
• m 1.11

  Vit. Fab. Max.
• n 1.12

  Stob. Ser. 39.
• o 1.13

  Stob Ser. 77.
• p 1.14

  Ael. 12. 58.
• q 1.15

  The jeast con∣sisteth in the al∣lusion betwixt those two Greek words. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉
• r 1.16

  Et Stob. ser.
• s 1.17

  Stob. ser. 104.
• t 1.18

  St••b. Eth. ser. 1.
• * 1.19

  Ser.
• * 1.20

  Ser. 3••••.
• * 1.21

  Ibid.
• * 1.22

  Ser. 37, § 84.
• * 1.23

  Ser. 45.
• * 1.24

  Ser. 48.
• * 1.25

  Ser. 53.
• * 1.26

  Ser. 53.
• * 1.27

  Ser. 54.
• * 1.28

  Ser. 64.
• * 1.29

  Ser. 66.
• * 1.30

  Ibid.
• * 1.31

  Ibid.
• * 1.32

  Ibid.
• * 1.33

  Ibid.
• * 1.34

  Ser. 6••.
• * 1.35

  Ser. 71.
• * 1.36

  Ibid.
• * 1.37

  Ser. 72.
• * 1.38

  Ser. 71.
• * 1.39

  Ibid.
• * 1.40

  Ser. 87.
• * 1.41

  Ser. 88.
• * 1.42

  Ser. 105.
• * 1.43

  Ser. 117.
• * 1.44

  Ser. 126.
• * 1.45

  Ser. 133.
• * 1.46

  Ser. 149. & 153.
• * 1.47

  Ser. 183.
• * 1.48

  Ser. 210.
• * 1.49

  Ser. 211.
• * 1.50

  Ser. 216.
• * 1.51

  Ser. 230.
• * 1.52

  Ser. 233.
• * 1.53

  Ser. 235.
• * 1.54

  Ibid.
• * 1.55

  Ibid.
• * 1.56

  Ser. 23••.
• * 1.57

  Ser. 148.
• * 1.58

  Ser. 270.
• * 1.59

  Ser. 271.
• * 1.60

  Ael. var. hist. 10, 11.
• * 1.61

  Plut. de ••xul.
• * 1.62

  Plut. quom. ger. Resp.
• * 1.63

  Pl. de virt. Moral.
• * 1.64

  Pl. de aud. Poet.
• * 1.65

  Macrob. Sat. 7. 3.