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MY fright's amost over, but I'm plaguy Wet and Coid, P—confound the Cuckold.
Hey! what the Devil's come to me now; am I going quick to Hell?
Help! help! will no body come to my rescue? the Devil's come for me indeed.
So I think we have sufficiently frighted the Fool, but what hast order∣ed them to do with him now?
To carry him home just in the pickle he's in to his Wife.
Sure the Coxcomb will never venture hither again?
If he do, my next Revenge shall be more home.
I would at any time lose a Nights sleep for so much sport: 'Tis time to raise the rest of the Family, and then try to get a little sleep.
With all my heart, my Head akes a Laughing.
Is Sir Roger Marwood within?
Yes Sir, i'll acquaint him you are here, if you please to walk in.
Sir Roger, your Servant, you're an early riser I see; I thought I had been time enough to your levee?
That you might have been, had not Sir Charles Frankford sent in great haste to speak with me; for early rising is not a fault I am often guilty of.
You are very happy, Sir Roger, to have so free access where so much Beauty is your daily Entertainment; how is it possible to defend your Heart from so many Charms the lovely Charlot, they say, is Mistress of. But is she so beautiful as the Town reports? for I never saw her.
She is indeed beyond Imagination, but of so strange and fantastical a Humour no one can please her; you have more right to pretend to her Fa∣vours than I, for she so much declares against a Man of an Estate, I dare not think of Addressing.
That can be only an extravagant way of Talking, she cannot think an Estate, where 'tis but Embellishment to both Qualifications, a Fault.
Sir Charles indeed is of your opinion, but I am much mistaken if he does not quickly find it, the real Sentiments of her Heart; for last Night we heard she and Madam Juliana, her Cozen, discoursing in the Garden; she talkt of Love and some design she had in hand to day, she fear'd being crost in, but what that was Heaven knows.
I must confess, I am very eager to see Sir Charles in hopes to hear more of his Sister's design.
Shall I see you any where in the Evening, Sir Roger?
With all my heart.
Where?
I shall be at Lockets from 8 to 10 or later.
I will, if possible, wait on you there.
I see you'll really meet him then?
Ay, and marry him too, if he has Courage enough to venture on me.
'Tis a strange Resolution, Heaven send you may never have reason to repent it; think well, my Dear, what you do, consider it is irrevocable.
Prithee forbear; Thy serious▪ Notions almost spoil my design; but know my Juliana, I have given him my Heart, and will my Person, for I pas∣sionately love him.
I wish him worthy of his happy Fortune; the time draws near; does not your Heart go a pit a pat?
Yes, for fear he'll not come.
'Tis he indeed, my Courage almost fails me, but 'tis too late to retreat; I'll stand the brunt let what will be the event.
If the whole Piece prove as beautiful as this Sample, I find I'm undone already; come unmask, dear Madam, and kill me quite.
Not to shew a better Face, but better Nature; I'll give her my Sample.
'Twas kindly said and done.
But I gad Madam, if you mean to preserve the Conquest of my Heart intirely to your self, you'd best put by that cloud, for there are dangerous Eyes.
She'll soon reduce the Rebel to his Obedience, convince him of the Truth, by shewing him a Prospect of that Heaven which is also 〈◊〉〈◊〉 him.
No, I'll leave it to his Imagination, which perhaps may be to my ad∣vantage; and if you have Courage enough to venture on me as you see me, here's my Hand and Heart, and all that's mine to be intirely yours.
'Tis a large Proffer; but I'm for none of Fortune's blind Bargains, come upon the square, dear Lady, and I am for you; I ever had an aversion to a Vizir-Ma••k, it shall be one of my Articles, that from this day forward you shall never wear one.
With all my heart, conditionally that this day the only one in which I must reign, I may wear it at pleasure.
After you have discovered that Face which is to charm me out of my Liberty, I'll agree to all you desire.
As you're a Man of Honour, stand to your word, for now I claim you as my own.
By Heavens, an Angel! dear charming Crea∣ture, dispose of your happy Slave for ever; I am now no more the cautious ill-natur'd Fellow, I have been all this time; I am all o'er Love and Rapture, come lovely Creature, lets away to Church, where I may make you mine without danger of ever losing you.
Mercy on me! what an Alteration's here! from whence pro∣ceeds this mighty Change?
Could you expect less from that bewitching Face, enough to tempt Di∣ogenes from his Tub, and make that surly Stoick turn Epicure; Heaven never made such dazling Beauty but to do Miracles, I'm now Love's Convert.
So I find I'm a Woman's Ass already, I am downright damnably in Love, and will through this Matrimonial Gulph, if I perish in the attempt.
You're very serious Sir, pray don't consider too much, I may chance to lose a Husband by it.
I am thinking how very happy I shall be when the Divine Charlot's mine; come dear Madam, I will delay my bliss no longer.
Ay, for Heavens sake, let's away while this Passion lasts, this Violence will soon be over, and then the Tide will turn.
It never, never shall, dear charming Angel.
Come Cozen, you must be our Witness.
I wish I may be ever so to all that makes you happy.
Nay, pray dear Bunny, don't be nangry indeed and indeed; I was taken up by the Watch and carried to the Round house.
Yes, yes, a likely matter, and how came you out pray?
Why the Devil sent four of his Life-guard, and took me out by main force.
Don't think to make a Fool of me, but tell me the truth, you'd best, you Rebel you; who was it brought you home, they lookt like Devils indeed; but how come you in this pickle to come home without your Cloths?
Why indeed Bunny I cannot tell, for I was damnable Drunk, and did not know I was in the Round-house till I wakt this Morning and found my self there: Pray Bunny fordive I, as true as I am God Almighty's Child, I won't do so no more.
Get you gone, you Fool, and don't make your self such an Ass; you are like to wear your old Cloths till Easter, for you shall have no new ones.
Nay, pray Bunny now don't be so nangry; indeed I do love Bunny.
You have such a way with you; well, come then, but will you be good?
I will indeed Bunny, go and bid the Maid warm my Bed, for I am very weary with my last Nights Lodging; if any body comes to speak with me, let me not be disturbed.
I will my Dear, poor Wretch, I'll go and make you some Butter'd-Ale too.
Ay do, so I have appeas'd one Fool; I'm damn'd Mad at this Disap∣pointment, if I thought Urania had a hand in it, I'd be revenged of her, by Publishing to the Town I had lain with her; I did verily believe the Devil had run away with me, till I discover'd one of them to be Ben the Drawer; 'twas certainly a Contrivance of Freeman's, I'll return it to him with the honourable Badge of a pair of Horns. I'll sleep three or four Hours, and then write to her for another Appointment, I doubt not but the kind Soul is willing.
Now, my dear Charlot, that I can call you mine; how much I prize the Blessing you shall find by the great Value I shall set on you.
You are wonderous Devout, but 'twill ne'er last long: The sawey Name of Husband will in short time claim its Lawful Authority. But pray Mr. Lovewell, hasten Dinner.
'Tis here you are always happy; you can but wish and ••ave.
Come, Ladies, fall to, if you have any Appetite; I must restrain mine, though Grace is said.
If you have any to what's here lets sit—Remember this is my Day of Power; and being the last that I must Reign, you must expect me to be very tyrannical.
All Happiness to you both, and may it ever continue.
As much to dear Juliana in the Man she loves.
Success and Happiness attend us all. What think you of a Song, La∣dies, 'twill give us time to eat.
With all my Heart.
Call in the Musick there?
Now, Mr. Lovewell, you must give my Cozen and I permission to leave you for a little time, to go to the Exchange to provide some Necessaries; and because I will not leave you idle, pray take Pains to tell that Purse of Gold.
Since it must be so, what you please. But I hope you will not make it long before you return.
You shall not stay for us half an Hour.
Where will you go when you come back?
We'll discourse of that when we meet again; farewell. Come Cozen.
Five hundred Pieces; a pretty Sum, and not unwelcome at this time. I Gad I was a very lucky Fellow to have a pretty rich young Lady thus thrown into my Arms, just in the Ebb of my Fortune.
Here's a Note, Sir, left for you at the Bar, as they went out.
Ha! What should be the meaning of this!
—Dispose of your self as your Humour serves you, when you have done with the Employment I left you; for you will meet at this time with no other Entertainment from your Bride.
Death, Hell, and Furies! what can this mean! Am I thus Jilted at last by some lewd Woman! O Sot! that I could think one of Charlot's Birth and For∣tune would marry at that wild Rate. She only took up that Name to gull the easy Coxcomb, unthinkful Fool; I could curse my self, her, the Sex, and all the World. What shall I do, O dear damn'd Impostor! By Heaven I love her so, I can scarce repent I have made her mine; were she but Honest, which much I fear, I would not change her for the Worlds Empress. But why do I flatter thus a senseless Passion? This Toad, for ought I know, a leud Prosti∣tute, who only has drawn me in to go to Goal for her. O there it is! Some false fair Devil, forsaken by her Keeper, that wanted only a Husband for that use, or else to Father some Body's Child: But however, she is no very poor Whore.
But this is no Place to Expostulate in. Here Drawer.
Did you call, Sir?
Ay, what's to pay?
All's paid, Sir, by the Ladies?
So that's some Comfort still; come chear thy Heart, Lovewell; all yet may be well: They're Jilts of Quality however. I believe it is e'en some Lady errant that's run mad reading of Don Quixot; but hang't, jesting is a little Un∣savory at this time. I'll see if I can find out Sir Roger Marwood, who may tell me some Tidings of the true Charlot, though not of my fair damn'd Devil; O curse of my Credulity.
since this damn'd Jilt is gone,
I am fairly rid of all the Sex in one.