The Lancashire-witches and Tegue O Divelly, the Irish-priest a comedy acted at the Duke's Theater
Shadwell, Thomas, 1642?-1692.
Page  1

THE Lancashire Witches AND TEGVE O DIVELLY THE Irish PRIEST.

ACT. I.

Enter Sir Edward Harfort and Smerk.
Smerk.
SIR, give me leave, as by my duty bound,
To let you know (though I am lately come
Into your Family) I have observ'd
(For all your real curtesie, and seeming mirth
Among your Friends that visit you) a fixt
And constant melancholly does possess you, Sir,
When y'are alone, and you seem not to rellish
The happiness your ample fortune, and
The great esteem your worth has ever gain'd
From all good men might give you, I am bound
To inquire the Cause, and offer my Advice.
Sir Edw.
Pray search no further, I, for once, can pardon
The rashness of your curiosity.
I did not take you for my Councellor.
Smerk.
You now, Sir, are become one of my Flock:
And I am bound in Conscience to Advise,
Page  2 And search into the troubles of your spirit,
To find the secrets that disturb your mind.
Sir Edw.
I do not wonder that a Parson should
Be foolish and pragmatical; but know,
I will advise and teach your Master of Artship
(That made you lord it over Boys and Frshmen)
To add to yur small Logick and Divinity
Two main Ingredints, Sir, Sence and Good-manners,
Smerk.
Consider, Sir, the Dignity of my Funcion.
Sir Edw.
Your Father is my Taylor, you are my Servant.
And d you think a Cassock and a Girdle
Can 〈◊〉 you so much, as to enable
You (who before were but a Coxcomb, Sir,)
To tach me? Know, I only took you for
A mehanick ••vine, to read Church Prayers
Twice every day, and once a week to Teach
My Servants Honesty and Obedience.
You may 〈◊〉 to a silly Flock,
And leadem where you please, but nere must hope
To govern men of sense and knowledg.
Smerk.
My Office bids me say this is profane,
And little less than Athiestical.
Sir Edw.
You're insolent, you're one of the senceless,
Htheaded Fools, that injure all your Tribe;
Learn of the wise, the moderate and good,
Our Church abounds with such examples for you.
I 〈◊〉 the name of Atheist, youre ill-mannerd.
But who ere touches one of you hot-spur Parsons,
You brand him home, and right, or wrong, no matter.
Smerk.
My Orders give me Authority to speak.
Sir Edw.
Your Orders separate, and set you a-part
To Minister, That is to serve in Churches,
And not to dominer in Families.
Smerk.
A pwer Legantine I have from Heaven.
Sir Edw.
Show your Credentials. Come good petulant
Mr. 〈◊〉-Lgick, pack up your for Books
And ld Black thred-bare Clothes to morrow-morning,
And have my House; get you a Wall-eyd Mare,
Will carry double, for your Spouse and you;
When some ast Chamber-Maid shall smile upon you,
Charm'd with a Vicaridge of forty pound
A year, the greatest you can 〈…〉.
Smerk.
Good Sir! I have offended, and am sorry.
I 〈◊〉 will once cmmit this fault again,
Now I am acquainted with your Worships mind▪
Page  3
Sir Edw.
So, now you are not bound in Conscience then.
The indiscretion of such paultry fellows
Are scandals to the Church and Cause they Preach for.
What fatal michiefs have domestick Priests
Brought on the best of Families in England!
Where their dull Patrons give them line enough,
First with the Women they insinuate,
(Whose fear and folly makes them slaves t'you,)
And give them ill opinions of their Husbands.
Oft ye divide them if the women rule not.
But, if they govern, then your reign is sure.
Then y' have the secrets of the Family,
Dispose oth' Children, place and then displace,
Whom, and when you think fit.
Smerk.
Good, Noble Sir! I humbly shall desist.
Sir Edw.
The Husband must not drink a Glass, but when
You shall, of your good grace, think fit for him.
None shall be welcom but whom you approve:
And all this favour is, perhaps, requited
With the infusing of ill principles into the Sons,
And stealing, or corrupting of the Daughters.
Sometimes upon a weak and bigot Patron you
Obtain so much to be Executor:
And, if he dies, marry his Widdow, and
Claim then the cheating of his Orphans too.
Smerk.
Sweet Sir forbear, I am fully sensible.
Sir Edw.
With furious zeal you press for Discipline,
With fire and blood maintain your great Diana.
Foam at the mouth when a Dissenter's nam'd,
(With fiery eyes, wherein we flaming see
A persecuting spirit) you roar at
Those whom the wisest of your function strive
To win by gentleness and easie ways.
You dam em if they do not love a Surplice.
Smerk.
Had I the power, I'de make them wear pitcht Surplices,
And light them till they flam'd about their Ears
I would—
Sir Edw.
Such Firebrands as you but hurt the Cause.
The learnedst and the wisest of your Tribe
Strive by good life and meekness to o'recome them.
We serve a Prince renown'd for Grace and Mercy,
Abhorring ways of Blood and Cruelty;
Whose Glory will, for this, last to all Ages.
Him Heaven preserve long quiet in his Throne.
I will have no such violent Sons of Thunder,
Page  4I will have moderation in my House.
Smerk.
Forgive my zeal, and, if your Worship please,
I will submit to all your wise Instructions.
Sir Edw.
Then (on your good behaviour) I receive you,
Search not the secrets of my House or me.
Vain was our Reformation, if we still
Suffer auricular Confession here,
By which the Popish Clergy rule the world.
No business in my Family shall concern you;
Preach nothing but good life and honesty.
Smerk.
I will not.
Sir Edw.
No controversial Sermons will I hear:
No medling with Government; y'are ignorant
〈◊〉 Laws and Customs of cur Realm, and should be so.
The other world should be your care, not this.
A Plow-man is as fit to be a Pilot,
As a good Clergy-man to be a States-man, Sir,
Besides, the People are not apt to love you,
Because your sloth is supported by their labours.
And you do hurt to any Cause you would
Advance.
Smerk.
I humbly bow, Sir, to your Wisdom.
Sir Edw.
A meek and humble modest Teacher be;
For pitteous triles you Divines fall out.
If you must Quarrel, Quarrel who shall be
Most honest men; leave me, and then consider
Of what I have said.
Smerk.
I will do any thing,
Rather than lose your Worships grace and favour.
Sir Edw.
Begon.
Ex. Smerk▪
Enter Isabella.
Isabella.
Sir, why do you walk alone, and Melancholly?
I have observ'd you droop much on the suddain.
Sir Edw.
Dear Isabella, the most solid joy
And comfort of my fading life! thou truest Image
Of thy dead Mother! who excelld her Sex:
Fair, and not proud on't; witty, and not vain;
Not grave, but Wise; Chast, and yet kind and free;
Devout, not sower; Religious, not precise:
In her no foolish affectation was
Which makes us naseate all good qualities.
She was all meekness and humility;
The tenderest Mother, and the softest Wife.
Page  5
Isab.
My Deerest and most Honoured Father,
(Had you not been the best of Parents living)
I could not have outliv'd that Mothers loss:
Loss of her tender care, and great example.
Sir Edw.
Yet learn, my Child, never to grieve for that
Which cannot be recall'd; those whom I love
With tenderness I will embrace, when living,
And when they're dead strive to forget 'em soon.
Isab.
What is it can afflict you now, dear Father?
Sir Edw.
Thou'rt wise, to thee I can declare my grief;
Thy Brother has been still my tender care,
Out of my duty, rather than affection,
Whom I could never bend by education
To any generous purpose, who delights
In Dogs and Horses, Peasants, Ale and Sloth.
Isab.
He may have Children will be wiser, Sir.
And you are young enough yet to expect
Many years comfort in your Grandchildren.
Sir Edw.
To that end, I would match the unhewn Clown
To the fair Daughter of Sir Ieffery Shaklehead,
Who has all the perfections can be wish'd
In womn-kind, and might restore the breed:
But he neglects her to enjoy his Clowns,
His foolish sports, and is averse to Marriage.
I would not have my name perish in him.
Isab.
aside.
I am sure shee'l never help to the continuance.
Sir Edw.
But thou art good, my Child, obedient,
And though Sir Timothy, Sir Ieffery's Son,
Has not the great accomplishments I wish him,
His temper yet is flexible and kind,
And will be apt to yield to thy discretion.
His person not ungratious, his Estate
Large, and lies altogether about his House,
Which (for its scituation and its building)
With noble Gardens, Fountains, and a River
Runing quite through his Park and Garden,
Exceeds most in the North: Thou knowest my Child
How this cross match will strengthen and advance
My Family—He is coming hither from
His sport, He has given his Horse to his man, and now▪
Is walking towards us; I'le go and find
My Lady and her Daughter.
Ex. Sir Edward.
Isab.
Oh hard fate!
That I must disobey so good a Father:
Page  6I to no punishment can be condemn'd
Like to the Marriage with this foolish Knight.
But by ill usage of him, I will make him,
I possible, hate me as I hate him.
Enter Sir Timothy Shaklehead.
Sir Tim.

Oh my Fair Couzen, I spid yee, and that made me give my man my Horse to come to you.

Isab.

Me? have you any business with me?

Sir Tim.

Business! yes Faith, I think I have, you know it well enough, but we have had no sport this afternoon, and therefore I made hast to come to you.

Isb.

Such as you should have no sport made to you, you should make it for others.

Sir Tim.

Ay, its no matter for that; but Couzen, would you believe it, we were all 〈◊〉, Mother Demdike and all her Imps were abroad, I think, but you are the prtty 〈◊〉 that enchants my heart. This must n••ds please her.

Aside.
Isab.

Well said, Academy of Compliments, you are well read I see.

Sir Tim.

Ods Bud, who would have thought she had read that!

Isab.

Nay, for Learning and good breeding let Tim alone.

Sir Tim.

Tim! I might be Sir Timothy in your mouth though one would think.

Isab.

I am sorry the King bestowed Honour so cheaply.

Sir Tim.

Nay, not so cheap neither; for though my Lady Mother had a dear Friend at Court, yet I was fain to give one a Hundred pounds, besides my Fees, I am sure of that: Tim, hum go too—

Iab.

Was there ever so fulsom a Fool▪

Sir Tim.

Besides, I gave Thirty Guinnies for the Sword I was Knighted with to one of his Nobles, for the King di not draw his own Sword upon me.

Isab.

Do you abuse the Nobility? would a Nobleman sell you a Sword?

Sir Tim.

Yes that they will, sll that or any thing else at Court. I am sure he was a great Courtier he talked so prettily to the Kings Dogs, and was so familiar with them, and they were very kind to 〈◊〉, and he had great interest in them: He had all their names as quick, and 〈…〉 know who, and discoursd with them, I protest and vow, as if they had 〈◊〉 Christians.

Isab.

Oh thou art a pretty Fllow; hey for little Tim of Lancashire.

Sir Tim.

You might give one ons title one would think, I say again, especially one that loves you too.

Isab.

Yes, I will give you your Title.

Sir Tim.

Thank you dear Cozn.

He offers to kiss her hand, she gives him a box on the ear.
Isab.

Take that, and your proper Title, Fool.

Sir Tim.

Fool! I 〈◊〉 you, I sorn your words, 'tis a burning shame you should be 〈◊〉, tht it is: Little thinke my ady Mother how I am used.

I••b.

Once for all, as a Kinsman I wll b civil to you; but if you dare make love 〈◊〉, I'le make thee such an example, thou shalt be a terrour to all foolish Knights.

Sir Tim.

oolish! ha, ha, ha, that's a pretty jest; why han't I been at Oxford and the 〈◊〉 of Court? I have spent my time well indeed if I be a Fool still: But I am not such a Fool to give you over for all this.

Page  7
Isab.

Dost thou hear? thou most incorrigible lump, never to be lickt into form; thou Coxcomb incarnate; thou fresh, insipid, witless, mannerless Knight, who wearest a Knighthood worse than a Haberdasher of Small wares would; It serves but to make thy folly more eminent.

Sir Tim.

Well, well, forsooth, somebody shall know this.

Isab.

Every one that knows thee knows it. Dost thou think, because thy foolish Mother has Cockerd thee with morning Cawdles and afternoons Luncheons, thou art fit to make Love? Ile use thee like a Dog if thou darest but speak once more of Love, or name the world before me.

Sir Tim.

Mum, mum, no more to be said, I shall be heard some-where. Will your Father maintain you in these things, ha Gentlewoman?

Isab.

Tell if thou durst, I'le make thee tremble. Heart, if you bent gone now presently, Ile beat you.

Ex. Sir Tim.
Enter Theodosia.
Isab.

My Dear, art thou come! I have been just now tormented by thy foolish Brothers awkward Courtship, forgive me that I make so bold with him.

Theo.

Prethee do, my Dear, I shall be as free with thine, though he is not so great a Plague, for he is bashful, very indifferent, and for ought I perceive, to my great com∣fort, no Lover at all: But mine is pert, foolish, confident, and on my Conscience in love to boot.

Isab.

Well, we are resolved never to Marry where we are designed, thats certain. For my part I am a free English woman, and will stand up for▪ my Liberty, and Pro∣perty of Choice.

Theo.

And Faith, Girl, Ile be a mutineer on thy side; I hate the imposition of a Husband, 'tis as bad as Popry.

Isab.

We will be Husband and Wife to one another, dear Theodosia.

Theo.

But there are a brace of Sparks we saw at the Spaw, I am apt to believe would forbid the Banes if they were here.

Isab.

Bellfort and Dubt they write us word they will be here suddenly, but I have little hopes; for my Father is so resolved in whatever he proposes, I must dispair of his consent for Bellfort, though he is too reasonable to force me to Marry any one▪ besides he is engaged, in honour, to your Father.

Theo.

Nay, if thou thinkest of subjection still, or I either, we are in a desperate case: No, mutiny, mutiny, I say.

Isab.

And no money, no money will our Fathers say.

Theo.

If our Lovers will not take us upon those Terms they are not worthy of us. If they will, farewell Daddy, say I.

Isab.

If so, I will be as hearty a Rebel, and as brisk as thou art for thy life; But canst thou think they are such Romancy Knights to take Ladies with nothing? I am scarce so vain though I am a woman.

Theo.

I would not live without vanity for the Earth; if every one could see their own faults 'twould be a sad World.

Page  8
••ab.

Thou saist right, sure the world would be almost depopulated, most men ould hang themselves.

The.

Ay, and women too: Is there any creature so happy as your affected Lady? or 〈◊〉 Coxcomb?

Iab.

I must confess they have a happy error, that serves their turn better than truth; but away with Philosophy, and let's walk on and consider of the more weighty mat∣ters of our Love.

〈◊〉.

Come along my Dear.

Ex▪ Isabella and Theodocia.
Enter Sir Timothy.
Sir Tim.

What a pox is the matter? She has piss'd upon a Nettle to day, or else the Witchs have bwitched hr. Hah, now I talk of Witches, I am plageily afraid, and all alone: No heres Nun••e Tomas.

Enter Tho. Shaklehead.
T•• Sha.

How now Couzen?

Sir Tim.

Couzen? plain Couzen? You might have more manners Uncle, S flesh, and one gives you an Inch, you'l take an Ell. I see Familiarity breeds Contempt.

Tm Sha.

Well, Sir Timothy, then, Byr Lady I thought no harm; But I am your 〈…〉 that.

Sir Tim.

Yes, my Father's younger Brother. What a Murrain do we keep you for, but to have an eye over our Dogs and Hawks, to drink Ale with the Tennants (when they come with Rnt or resents) in Black Jacks, at the upper end of a Brown Sho•••-board able in the Hal? to sit at lower end oth' board at meals, rise make our 〈◊〉, and take away your Plate at second Course? And you to be thus familiar!

Tm Sha.

Pray forgive me good Couzen: Sir Timothy, I mean.

Sir Tim.

Vry well, you will be facy again Uncle. Uds lud, Why was I Knight∣ed but to have my Title given me? My Father, and Lady Mother can give it me, and s••h a Fellow as you, a meer younger Brother to forget it.

Tm Sha.

Nay, nay, had yee yeou mun tat in good part, I did but forget a bit, good Sir Timohy.

Sir Tim.

My Mother would 〈◊〉 a fine taking about it, and she knew it.

Tm Sha.

Nay, pray now do not 〈…〉 my ady, by th' Mass who'l be e'en 〈◊〉 wood an who hears ot. But look a, look a, here come th' Caursers, the Har〈◊〉 playd the D••l with us to 〈◊〉, we 〈…〉 bewitch'd.

Sir Tim.

Ay, so we have, to have the Hare vanish in open Field before all our fa∣•••, and our eyes never 〈◊〉 from her.

Tm Sha.

Ay, and then an awd wife (they caw'n her Mother Demdike) to start 〈…〉 very spot o grawnt where we losten puss!

Page  9Enter Sir Ieffery Shaklehead, Sir Edward Harfurt, young Harfourt, Chaplain, Clod, and other Servants.
Sir Edw.

These are Prodigies you tell, they cannot be; your sences are deceived.

Sir Ieff.

My sences deceived! that's well, Is there a Justice in Lancashire has so much skill in Witches as I have? Nay, I'le speak a proud word, you shall turn me loose a∣gainst any Witch-finder in Europe; I'd make an Ass of Hopkins if he were alive.

Young Har.

Nay, I'le swear 'tis true, a Pox on that awd Carrion Mother Demdike, she ha's marrd all our sports, and almost kill'd Two Brace of Greyhounds worth a Thou∣sand pound.

Sir Edw.

Dreams, meer Dreams of Witches, old womens fables, the Devil's not such a Fool as you would make him.

Sir Ieff.

Dreams! mercy upon me! are you so profane to deny Witches?

Smerk.

Heaven defend! will you deny the existence of Witches? 'Tis very Athe∣istical.

Sir Edw.

Incorrigible ignorance! 'tis such as you are Atheistical, that would equal the Devils power with that of Heaven its self. I see such simple Parsons cannot en∣dure to hear the Devil dishonour'd.

Sir Ieff.

No Witches? why I have hang'd above Fourscore. Read Bodin, Remigi∣us, Delrio, Nider, Institr, Sprenger, Godelman, and More, and Malleus Maleficarum, a great Author, that Writes sweetly about Witches, very sweetly.

Sir Edw.

Malleus Maleficarum a Writer, he has read nothing but the titles I see.

Sir Ieff.

Oh I a great man, Malleus was a great man; Read Couzen, read the An∣tidote against Atheism: Well, I'le make work among your Witches.

Young Har.

Ay good Sir Ieffery do, Uds Lud they'l grow so bold one shan go a Caursing, Hunting or Hawking for 'em one of these days; and then all the ioy of ones life's gone.

Sir Edw.

Why are those all the joys of Life?

Young Har.

Ay Godsflesh are they, I'd not give a Farthing to live with out 'em, what's a Gentleman but his Sports.

Tho. Sha.

Nay, byr Lady, I mun have a saup of Ale now and then, besides sports.

Sir Ieff.

Why here's my Son, Sir Timothy, saw the Hare vanish, and the Witch ap∣pear.

Sir Tim.

That I did upon my Honour Sir Ieffery.

Enter Clod.
Clod.

So ho, here's the Hare again.

Young Har.

He Boys, loo on the Dogs, more sport, more sport.

Sir Edw.

'Tis almost dark, let's home: go to your Mistress, Fool.

Young Har.

Time enough for that, Sir, I must have this Course first, halloo.

They all go out as to Coursing.
Page  10 Mother Demdike rises ut of the ground as they re-enter.
Sir Ieff.

Now, Sir Edward, do you see, the Hare is vanish'd, and here is the Hag.

Sir Edw.

Yes, I see 'tis almost dark, the Hare is run from your tired Dogs, and here is a poor old Woman gathering of sticks.

Smerk.

Avant thou filthy Hag, I defy thee and all thy works.

lod.

This is wheint indeed Sir, you are a Schollard, pray defend me.

Sir Ieff.

Now you shall see how the Witches fear me.

Sir Edw.

The old women ha•• reason to fear you, you have hang'd so many of 'em.

Sir Ieff.

Now Tom Shaklehead, and you Clod, lay hold o'th' Witch quickly; now you shall see my skill, wee'l search her, I warrant she has biggs or eats a handful long about her parts that shall be namless; then wel have her waced eght and fourty hours, and prickt with Needles, to keep her from sleeping, and make her 〈◊〉, Gad hee'l confess any thing in the world then; and if nor, after all, weel tye her Thumbs and great Toes together and 〈◊〉 her into your great Pond. Let me alone with her, I warrant ye, come, come, come, where are you?

Sir Edw.

So I must have a poor old woman murder'd in my House.

Mother Demdike knocks down Tom Shakle▪ head and Clod and vanishes.
Tom. Sha. Clod.

Oh the Witch, the Devil.

Sir Ieff.

How now, whats the matter?

Tom Sha.

Why by'r Lady, the Dels ith' matter, the old Hag has knockt us both dawn, and is vanisht under grawnt I think.

Sir Edw.

Your fear has knockt you down, and the old woman has escap'd.

Sir Ieff.

No, no, she has done't; a Witch has a mighty strength: Six men are not strong enough for a Witch of Fourscore.

Sir Edw.

Come prethy, Sir Ieffery, let's home and drive these fables out of her heads, its dark.

Sir Ieff.

Nay, I know how to deal with her, Ile send my Warrant, and a Consta∣ble with that is strong enough to beat six Witches, ay, six the ablest Witches on 'em allyou'd wonder at it, but faith 'tis true.

Exeunt omnes.
Mother Demdike re-enters.
Demd.

Ha, ha, ha, how I have fooled these fellows, let 'em go home and prate a∣bout it, this night wee'l revel in Sir Edward's Celler, and laugh at the Justice. But to the business of the Night.

She sings.
Come, Sisters, come, why do you stay?
Our business will not brook delay,
a The Owl is flown from the hollow Oak.
From Lakes and Bogs the Toads do croak.
The Foxes bark, the Screetch-Owl screams:
Wolves howl, Bats fly, and the faint beams
Page  11 O Glow-worms light grows bright a-pace;
The Stars are fled, the Moon hides her face.
b The Spindle now is turning round:
c Mandrakes are groaning under ground.
d'th' hole i'th Ditch, (our Nails have made)
e Now all our Images are laid,
Of Wax and Wooll, which we mustf prick,
With Needles urging to the quick▪
g Into the hole Ile poure a flood
Of Black Lambs bloud, to make all good.
The Lamb with Nails and Teeth weel tear.
Come wheres the Sacrifice? appear.
Enter Mother Dickenson, Hargrave, Mal, Spencer, and several other Witches with a Black Lamb.
Witches.
Tis here.
Demd.
Why are you all so tardy grown?
Must I the work perform alone?
Dicken,
h Be patient Dame, wee'l all obey.
Dem.
Come then to work, anon wee'l play.
To yonder Hall
Our Lord Weel call,
Sing, dance and eat,
Play many a feat,
And fright the Justice and the Squire,
And plunge the Cattel into the Mire.
But now to work
They tear the Black Lamb in pieces and poure the Blood into the hole.
i Deber, Deber, do not Stay,
Upon the Waves go sport and play▪
And see the ship be Cast away.
Come let us now our parts perform,
And Scrape a hole, and raise a Storm.
Dicken.
k Here is some Sea Sand I have Gotten,
Which thus into the Air I Throw.
Harg.
Here's sage, that under ground was rotten,
Which thus a-round me I bestow.
Spencer.
Sticks on the Bank a-cross are lay'd.
Harg.
The hole by our nayles is almost made.
Hogs Bristles boyl within the Pot.
Demd.
The Hollow flint Stone I have Got,
Page  12 Which I over my Shoulder throw,
Into the west, to make winds blow.
Now water here, and urine put,
And with your Stiks stir it about.
Now dip your brooms, and toss them high,
To bring the Rain down from the Sky.
Not yet a Storme?l Come let us wound
The Air with every dreadful sound,m
And with live vipers beat the ground.
They beat the ground with Vipers, they bark, hol, hiss, cry like Screetch-Owles, hollow like Owles, and make many confused noises: The Storm begins.

Song of three parts.

NOw the winds roar▪
And the Skies Pour
Down all their Store.
It Thunders and Lightens.
And now the Nights black,
Heark how the Clouds crack.
Heark how the Clouds crack.
It Thunders and Lightens.
A hollow din the Woods now make,
The Vallies tremble, Mountains Shake,
And all the living Creatures quake.
It Thunders and Lightens.
It keeps awake the Sleepy fowl,
The Saylers Swear, the high Seas rowl,
And all the frighted Dogs do howl.
It Thunders and Lightens.
Demdike speaks.
Now to our tasks let's all be gone,
Our Master we shall meet anon,
Between the hours of twelve and one.
They all set up a laugh▪
Enter Clod with a Candle and Lanthorn.
Clown.

Whaw, what a Storm is this! I think Mother Demdike and all her Dee'ls are abroad to neeght, 'tis so dark too

I canno see my hont.* Oh the Dee'l, the Dee'l,

help! help! this is Mother
Demdike, help, S-lesh,
what mn I do? I canno
get dawn, 'swawnds Ayst
be clemd an I stay here aw neeght.
Page  13Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

Was there ever such a Storm raised on a suddain, the Sky being clear, and no appearance on't before?

Doubt.

But the worst part of our misfortune is to be out of our way in a strange Countrey, the night so dark that Owls and Bats are wildred.

Bell.

There is is no help, Cover the Saddles, and stand with the Horses under that Tree, while we stand close and shelter our selves here; the Tempest is so violent it cannot last.

Doubt.

Now Philosophy help us to a little patience, Heaven be praised we are not at Sea yet.

Bell.

These troubles we Knight Errants must endure when we march in search of Ladies.

Doubt.

Would we were in as good Lodging as our Dogs have which we sent before to Whalley. I fear too (after all this device of yours) our pretending to hunt here will never take.

Bell.

Why So?

Doubt.

Will any body think that a man in his right wits should chuse this Hilly Countrey to hunt in?

Bell.

O▪ yes, there are Huntsmen that think there's no sport without venturing Necks or Collet-bones; besides, there is no other way to hope to see our Mistresses: by this means we shall troll out my Mistresses Brother, who loves, and understands nothing but Countrey sports. By that we may get acquaintance with Sir Edward Harfourt, who is reported to be a wise, honest, hospitable, true English man. And that will bring us into Sir Ieffery Shaklehead's family, Whally being in the mid-way betwixt them.

Doubt.

I am resolved to see my Mistress, what ere comes ont, and know my doom. Your Yorkshire Spaw was a fatal place to me, I lost a heart there, Heaven knows when I shall find it again.

Bell.

Those interviews have spoiled me for a man of this World, I can no more throw of my loose corns of Love upon a Tennants Daughter in the Countrey, or think of Cuckolding a Keeping Fool in the City; I am grown as pittiful a 〈◊〉 Loving animal as any Romance can furnish us with.

Doubt.

That we should scape in all the Tour of France and Italy, where the 〈◊〉 has power to ripen Love, and catch this distemper in the North! but my Theodosia in humour, wit and beauty has no equal.

Bell.

Besides, my Isabella!

Doubt.

To you your Isabella's equal.

Bell.

We are pretty fellows to talk of Love, we shall be wet to the Skin; yondr are lights in many Rooms, it must be a great House, let's make towards it.

Doubt.

It is so dark, and among these Hills and Inclosures 'tis impossible. Will no lucky fellow, of this place, come by and guide us? We are out of all Roads.

Cld.

Oh! Oh! what mun Ay do? Ay am well neegh parisht: I mun try to get dawn.

He falls.
Page  14 Help, help, Murder, Murder.

Bell.

What a Devil s here a fellow fallen from the top of a Tree?

Doubt.

Sdeath s tais a night to climb in? what does this mean?

Clod.

Oh! Oh!

Bell.

Here, who art thou? Whats the matter?

Clod.

Oh the Deel; avant, I defy thee and all thy warks.

Doubt.

Is he drunk or mad? give me thy hand, I'le help thee.

Clod.

Begon, Witches I defy ye, help! help.

Bell.

What dost thou talk of? we are no Witches nor Devils, but travellers that have lost our way, and will reward thee well if thou wilt guide us into it.

Clod.

An yeow been a mon Ay'st talk wy ye a bir, yeow mun tack a care o your ••lls, the 〈◊〉 haunted with Buggarts, and Witches, one of 'em took my Condle and I athorn out of my hont, and ••ew along wy it; and an other Set me o top o th' tree, where I feel dawn naw, Av ha well neegh brocken my theegh.

Doubt.

The fellows mad, I neither understand his words, nor his Sence, prethee ow far is it to Whalley?

Cld.

Why yeow are quite bsaid th' road mon, yeow Shoulden a gone dawn 〈◊〉onk by Thomas o Georges, and then ee'n at yate, and turn'd dawn th' Lone, and 〈◊〉 the Steepo o'th' reeght ont.

Bell.

Prithee dont tell us what we should have done, but how far it is to Whalis∣ly.

Clod.

Why marry four mail and a bit.

Doubt.

Wee'l give thee an Angel and show us the way thither.

Clod.

Marry thats Whaint I conno see my hont, haw con Ay show yeou to Whalley to neeght.

Bell.

Canst thou shew us to any house where we may have Shelter and Lodging to night? we are Gentlemen and strangers, and will pay you well for't.

Clod.

Ay byr Lady con I, th' best ludging and d•••t too in aw Loncashire, Yonder at th' ough where yeow seen th' leeghts there.

Dubt.

Whose house is that?

Clod.

Why what a pox, were an yeow lived? why yeow are Strongers indeed! why, 'tis Sir Yedard Harfourts, he 〈…〉 to all Gentry, yeou st be welcome to him by day and by neegt 〈◊〉 Lord of aw here abauts.

Bell.

My Mistresses Father, Luk if it be thy will, have at my Isabella, Canst thou guide us thither?

Clod.

Ay, Ay, there's a pawer of Company there naw, S••Ieffery Shaklehead, and the Knight his Son, and Doughter.

Doubt.

Lucky above my wishes, o my Dear Theodosia, how my heart leaps at her! 〈…〉 guide us thither, wee'l pay thee well.

Clod.

Come on, I am en breed aut o my sences, I was ne'er so freeghtend sin I was born, give me your hont.

Bell.

No here are our men and Horses, wee'l get up, and you shall lead the fore∣most: Now Stars be kind.

Ex. Omnes,
Page  15 Page  16

ACT. II.

Enter Isabella and Smerk.
Isab.
HOW this insolence provokes me!
aside.
You are not sure in earnest!
to him.
Smerk.
Can any one behold those radiant eyes
And not have sentiments of Love like mine?
Isab.
This fellow has read Romances as well as Scholmen▪
Smerk.
Those eyes to which mine are the Burning-glasses
That to my heart convey the fire of Love.
Isab.
What a ustian Fool's this! Is this language
For a Divine?
Smerk.
Are not Divines made of those Elements
Which make up other men: Divines may be
In love I hope.
Isab.
And may they make love to the Daughter withou
The consent of the Father?
Smerk.
Undoubtedly, as Casuists must determine.
Isab.
Will not common sence, without a Casuist, tell
Us when we do wrong, if so, the Law we are
Bound to is not plan enough.
Smerk.
Submit to the judgment of Divines (sweet Lady)
Marriage is not an Ordinance made by Parents,
Bt from above deriv'd▪ and 'tis for that I sue.
Isab.
Is it not fit I should obey my Father?
Smerk.
O no, sweet Lady, ••ve it not to him,
Your Father has not reverence enough
For the Church and Churchmen,
Besides, I'll tell you,
He is Atheistically inclin'd: pardon my boldness▪
For he believes no Witches: But, Madam, if my
Poor person and my parts may seem gracious to you,
You lawfully may chuse me to make happy.
Isab.
Your person needs must please; Tis amiable.
Smerk.
Ah sweet Madam!
Isab.
Your parts beyond exception, eat, spruce, florid,
And very ••verting.
Smerk.
No, no, dear Madam.
Isab.
Who can behold your face without pleasure? or
Consider your parts without Reverence?
Page  17
Smerk.

O Lord, I swear you pose me with your great civilities: I profess you do.

Isab.

'Tis impossible you should keep long from being Dignified.

Smerk.
'Tis that I minly aim at next the enjoyment
Of so fine a Lady.
Isab.
May I latter my self to think you are in earnest?
Smerk.
You may most excellent Lady.
Isab.
And so am I.
She gives him a box on the Ear.
Smerk.
Sweet Madam, I receive you as a blessing on my knees.
Isab.

Thou most insolent of Pedants, thou silly formal Thing with a stiff plain band, a lit∣tle parsonical Grogram and a Girdle thou art so proud of, in which thou wouldest do well to hang thy self; some have vouchsaf'd to use it to that purpose: Thou that never wert but a Curate,—a Iourney-man Divine, as thy Father was a Iourney-man Taylor, before he could set up for himself, to have the impudence to pretend love to me!

Smerk.

My function yet, I say, deserves more reverence.

Isab.

Does it make you not an Ass, or not a Taylors Son?

Smerk.

It equals me with the best of Gentry.

Isab.

How Arrogance! Can any power give honour but the Kings? This is Popery, Ie have you trounc'd. Could it once enter into thy vain pate, that I could be contented with the pittiful equipage of a Parsons Wife? Bless me to be carried home to an antique building, with narrow windows, and huge Iron-bars, like an old Iail in some Country Burrough, wickedly abus'd too with delapidations. To lye in Darneux Curtains, and a Beds-Tester, carv'd with Idolatrous Images, out of two load of old Timber: or to have for a Friend or a Lying in, one better, one of worsted Chamblet, and to be drest and undrest by my Cookmaid, who is my Woman and my Chambermaid, and serves me and the Hogs.

Smerk.

I intend none of these. I assure you my House shall be—

Isab.

I know what it will be: your Parlour hung with Green printed stuff, of the new fa∣shion, with guilt Leather in panes, a fingers breadth at least, sruft up with a great many stinking Russia Leather Chairs, and an odious Carpet of the same: Then Shelves on one side of your Chimney for a pair of Tables, A Chess-board, your frame of Wax Candle and To∣bacco-pipes.

Smerk.

No, no, no, Madam.

Isab.

On the other side, Shelves for huge Folices, by which you would be counted a great read man; vast large volumes of expositions upon a short Creed; some Twenty folio's upon the Ten Commandments; Lauds, Heylins, Andrews, and Tom Fullers works, with perhaps a piece of Austin, to shew you understand a little Latin; and this is your Ecclesiastical furni∣ture, very fit for a Gentlewoman's eating room is it not?

Smerk.

I understand the mode, Madam, and contemn such vulgar Ornaments.

Isab.

And in this Parlour to eat Five Tithe-Piggs in a week, brought in by my Woman-Chambermaid, Wash-maid, Cook-maid, &c. And if it be not a working day, waited on by your Groom, Ploughman, Carter, Butler, Tithe-gatherer all in one, with Horse-naild Shoes; his head new kembd and slick'd, with a starc'd-Band and no Cuffs.

Smerk.

My merits will provide you better, please to bear me.

Page  18
Isab.

Yes, I know your merits. Then to quible with you, for my desert, your Back-side of half an Acre, with some Sixteen Trees of Marygold and Sweeting-Apples, Horse-Plums, and Warden-pares, hemd in with panes of antique crumbling Clay; where I should have six Hives of Bees, and you a Mare and Feal, going with a Peacock and Hen.

Smerk.

All these I much despise would you hea.

Isab.

Hear, yes, how I should have nothing to entertain my Visitors with, but stew'd Prunes and Hnycombs, and flying Ale bottled with Lymen-pill, without all sight of Wine. And should I march abroad to visit, would be behind my Cannical Husband, perhaps upon a pied ••ld Mare big with Foal, holding both hands upon his Girdle, and when at place appointed I arrive, for want of Groom, off slips my nimble Husband first, then helps me down. And now, Fol, I have painted thee, and what thou art to trust to, in thy colours.

Smerk.

I beseech you, Madam, moderate your passions: Hear my propositions.

Isab.

No, Impudence, my Father shall hear 'em.

Smerk.

I beseech you, Madam, for Heavens sake, that will undo me. I shall desist, I shall desist.

Ex. Isabella.
Enter Susan the Chambermaid.
Good lack how a man may be mistaken!
I durst ha sworn, by her courtesy and frequent smiles, she had been in love with me.
Susan.

Sweet Sir, what is befallen you? has my Lady anger'd you? If she can, her heart is not like mine.

Smerk.

Nothing, Mrs. Susan, nothing, but to be thus dispis'd.

To himself.
Susan.

Dear Sir, can I serve you in any thing? I am bound. I ne're have been so elevated by any man; methinks I never should have enough of your powerful Mi∣istry sweet Sir.

Smerk.

Pish: If she tells her Father I am ruin'd.

To himself.
Susan.
Dear man, now, come drive away this sadness.
Come, give me thy hand; let's sit down and be merry.
Smerk.
How! my hand! go too.

This creature is in Love with me: But shall my prodigious natural parts, and no less amazing acquisitions in Metaphysicks and School'd Divinity be cast upon a Chamber∣maid? Farewell, I must not be too familiar.

Exit.
Susan.

So scornful! Cruel creature, I will soften thee yet. Have I for thee set days and nights cross-Legg'd and sigh'd before thou cam'st hither? And fasted on St. Agnes night for thee? And since thy coming have tied three coulour'd True Loves Knots, quill'd thy Cuffs and startchd thy Band my self, and never fail'd thee of thy morning Cadle or Jelly Broath? have I already put my Hair and Nails in Powder in thy Drink, and put a live Fish in a part about me till it died, and then gave it thee to eat in thy Drink, and all for this? Well, I will mollify thee. And Mother Demdike shall help me to morrow: Ile to her, and discourse her about it. If I have breath, I cannot live without him.

Page  19 Enter Sir Edward Harfort and his Son.
Sir Edw.

Susan, Go tell my Cousin Theodosia, I would speak with her.

Susan.

I will Sir.

Exit.
Yo. Har.

Pshaw, now must I be troubled with making Love; a deuce take it for me: I had rather be a Coursing an twere time oth day.

Sir Edw.

Now Son, for your own good and my satisfaction, I would have you (since her Father and I am agreed) to settle this business, and marry with Theodosia with all the speed that can be.

Yo. Har.

What haste Sir? For my part I care not for Marriage, not I. I love my Neighbours, a Cup of Ale, and my sports, I care for nought else.

Sir Edw.

(But that thy Mother was too vertuous for my suspition) I should think that by thy ordid mind thou wert a Stranger to my Blood; and, if you be not rul'd by me, assure your self I'le make you a stranger to my Estate.

Yo. Har.

What does he mean now? hah, to disinherit me?

Sir Edw.

No, part of its entaild; and if you will not marry where I direct you, your Sister will obey me, and may bring me one to inherit it. Consider that.

Enter Theodosia.

Here comes your Mistriss, beautiful and good as any of her Sex. Sweet Cousin be pleas'd to stay one moment with my Son: Ile wait on you again.

Exit.
Theo.

Your Servant Sir. How shall I be entertain'd by this Dolt! How much ra∣ther had he be with Country Justices and Farmers, in a low Thatch'd House, with a smooth Black Pot of Ale in his hand, or with his Kites, Dogs and Cattel?

Yo. Har.

What a Devil shall I say to her now? I had as leive knock my head against the wall as make Love. Will you please to sit down Cousin?

Theo.

Ay Cousin. And fall fast a-sleep if I can.

Aside.
Yo. Har.

'Twas a great Storm, and rose very suddainly to night Cousin.

Theo.

Very true.

Yo. Har.
Pox, I don't know what to say to her.
Aside.
'Tis almost over tho' now.
To her.
Theo.

'is so.

Yo. Har.

'Tis so, What a Devil shall I say more? Would I were at six go downs pon reputation, in Ale, with honest Tom Shaklehead.

Aside.
What do you think tis a Clock Madam?
To her.
Theo.

Six minutes past eight by mine.

Yo. Har.

Mine goes faster, Is yours Aspenwolds?

Theo.

No Tompions.

Yo. Har.

'Tis a very pretty one! Pish, I can go no farther, not I.

Theo.

'Tis Bed-time.

Yo. Har.
Ay so it is, and I am main sleepy byr Lady,
Coursing had gotten me a woundy Stomack,
And I eat like a Swine Faith and Troth.
Page  20
Theo.

But it got you nothing to your Stomack.

Yo. Har.

You have heard the story, we cours'd a Witch all day instead of a Hair; Mother Demdike.

Theo.

Tis well you did not catch her, she would have been very tough meat.

Yo. Har.

Ha, ha, ha, well I ow thats very well. I hope Sir Ieffery will hang the With; I am sure she has tired my Dogs and me so, that I am so sleepy I can scarce hold up my head byr Lady.

Theo.

I am tired too: This dulness is almost as tedious as his making of Love would be.

Yo. Har.

If 'twould hold up now, we should have fine weather for Hawking to morrow, and then have at the Powts.

Theo.

Your Hawks would not fly at Mother Demdike too.

Yo. Har.

Nay, marry I cannot tell: But would you would go a Hawking, you should ride upon a Pad of mine, should carry you with a Bumper in your hand, and not spill a drop.

Theo.

I am for no Field sports I thank you Sir.

Yo. Har.

Now can't I speak a word more.

They paws.
Theo.

Now methinks we are meer man and Wife already, without marrying for the matter. Hah, he's a-sleep, and snores like the Base-pipe of an Organ: Tho' I like his indifference better than I should his Love; yet I have no patience to bear sleeping in my face; that's a little too much.

Yo. Har.

Oh Lord, what's that! Oh Mother Demdike! Oh, oh, the Witch, the Witch!

Theo.

He talks in his sleep, I believe, e'en as well, as when he's awake.

Yo. Har.

Murder, murder, oh help, the Witch; oh the Witch, oh, oh, Mother Demdike!

Theo.

He talks and dreams of the Witch: I'le try a trick with him.

She pulls the chair from under him. Et exit.
Yo. Har.

Oh help, help, the Witch, the Witch, ay there she vanisht: I saw her, oh she flew up the Chimney. I'le go to Sir Ieffery, and take my Oath presently. Oh I am fore frightned.

Enter Isabella.
Oh the Witch, the Witch, Mother Demdike.
Exit yo▪ Har.
Isab.
What ails the Fool, is he mad?
Here's a Coil with Witches.
Enter Sir Jeffery, Lady Shacklehead and Sir Timothy.
Sir Tim.

Oh Madam, are you there? I have done your errant.

L. Sha.

Your Servant Cousin.

Isab.

Your Ladiships humble Servent.

L. Sha.

Look you Cousin, Lady me no Ladies, unless you be civiller to Sir Timo∣thy.

Page  21
Sir Tim.

Look you there.

Sir Ieff.

I suppose you are not ignorant who we are.

La. Sha.

Nay, prithee, Sir Ieffery, hold; Let me alone.

Sir Ieff.

Nay, go on my Dear, thou shalt have it; well, thou art as notable a wo∣man as any is within Fifty miles of thy head, Ile say that for thee.

La. Sha.

Pray Cousin conceive me, breeding is a fine thing; but you have always liv'd in the Country▪ I have, for my part, been often at London, lodg'd in Covent-Gar∣den ay, and been in the drawing Room too. Poor creature, she does not know what that is.

Sir. Ieff.

Pray mind my Chicken, she's the best bred Woman in the Country.

L. Sha.

Pray spare me Sir Ieffery, here's Sir Timothy, I have bred him with great care and charges at Oxford and the Inns of Court.

Sir Tim.

Ay, and I have been in the Drawing-Room too.

L. Sha.

I have gotten him Knighted too, for mine and Sir Iefferies services, which we have perform'd in governing the Country about us so well.

Isab.

What does your Ladyship drive at?

Sir Tim.

Ay, you know well enough: Now you look as if Butter would not melt in your mouth.

La. Sha.

Besides, let me tell you, Sir Timothy's person's as charming as anothers; his shape and height perfect, his Face, though I say it, exceeding good, his Eyes vigor∣ous and sparkling his Nose and Chin resembling our Family; in short, Nature has not been negligent in his Composition.

Sir Ieff.

Well, thou art the best spoken Woman in England, I'le say that for thee.

Isab.

I confess all this Madam.

Sir Tim.

Oh, do you so.

La. Sha.

Pray give me leave, not one Knight in the Land dresses better, or wears better fancied Garniture, or better Priwigs.

Sir Tim.

My Triming's my own fancy; and the best Wigg-maker in England, one in Crooked-lane works for me.

La. Sha.

Hold Sir Timothy, I say these things premis'd, it is not it to use my Son uncivilly: I am loath to complain to your Father, consider and be wise. I know we are politickly coy, that's decent; I, my self, was so to Sir Ieffery.

Sir Ieff.

Ay by'r Lady was she. Well, I thought I should never have won thee▪ Thou wert a parlous Girl.

La. Sha.

But I was never uncivil.

Isab.

I know not what you mean! I uncivil to my dear Cousin! what maks thee think so? I assure your Ladiship I value him as he deserves. What Cousin art angry for a jest? I think no man like him for my part.

Sir Ieff.

Why, look you Sir Timothy.

La. Sha.

Nay Sir Timothy, you are to blame, jesting shews ones kindness, go too.

Sir Tim.

I swear and vow I thought you had been in earnest Cousin. I am your humble Servant.

La. Sha.

Well, wee'l leave you together.

Sir Ieff.

Come on Boy, stand up to her, Gad I bore up briskly to thy Mother be∣fore I won her. Ah, when I was young, I would have—Well, no more to be ••id.

Page  22
La. Sha.

Come, come away, you will have your saying!

Exit. Lady and Sir Ieffry.
Sir Tim.

Well, but have you so good an opinion of me as you declard? hum—

Isab.

The very same I assure you.

Sir Tim.

Ah my dear pretty Rogue! Then Ile marry you presently, and make you a Lay.

Isab.

Let me see, are they out of hearing?

Sir Tim.

Come fth, let's kiss upon that business, here's a Parson in the House; nay, feth, feth, I must kiss thee, my dear little Rogue.

Isab.

Stand off Baboon, nay, a Baboon of good parts Exceeds thee; Thou Mag∣gt, Insect, worse then any nasty thing the Sun is Father to.

Sir Tim.

What do you begin to call names again? but this is in Jest too prithee, et me Kiss thee, pray dear, feth do.

Isab.

In est! Heaven is my witness theres not a living thing pon Two Leggs I would not chuse before Thee.

Sir Tim.

Holloo, Wheres Sir Ieffery and my Lady?

Isab.

They are out of thy hearing Oaph. 'Slife how darst thou be so Impudent to love me with that face, that can provoke nothing but laughter at best in any one? Why thou hat the Rickets in thy fa••: Theres no proportion, every feature by it slf is abominable; and put togethr Itollerable. Thou hast the very Lines and air of a Piggs face, Baptista Porta would have drawn thee so.

Sir Tim.

Hah, What do you say? my face! I'le not change with e're a man in Lancashire. Face! talk of my face, Hah.

Isab.

Thou art uglier than any Witch in Lancashire, and if thou wert in Womans Clothes, thy own Father would apprehend thee for one: Thy Face, I never saw so deform'd a thing on the head of an old Lyra violl. It might fright Birds from a Cherry garden: But what else tis good for, I know not.

Sir Tim.

'Sbud, now you provoke me, I must tell you, I think my self as hansome for a Man, as you are for a woman.

Isab.

Oh, foh, out upon that filthy visage, My maid with her Sizars in two mi∣nutes shall Cut me a Better in brown paper. There is not a Creature upon Earth but i a Beauty to thee; besides, thou hast a hollw Tooth would Cure the Mother beyond ra setida or burnt Feathers.

Enter Theodosia.
Sir Tim.

Well, well, You'l sing another note when I have acquainted your Father, you will.

Isab.

Thou li••t, I will not▪ If I were condemnd to Death, I would not take a pardon 〈◊〉 marry thee. Set thy Fools heart at rest then, and make no more nauseous Love to m. Thy Face to one fasting would give a vomit beyond Crocus.

Sir Tim.

You are a proud, peevish, Mix, and that's the best of you. Let me tell you that, hum. I can have your betters every day I rise.

Theo.

How now! What says the fool?

Sir Tim.

Uds Ludlikins, huswife, If you provoke me I'le take you o' the Pate.

Isab.

Thou odious, Loathsom Coxcomb, out of my sight, or I'le tear thy Eyes ou.

Page  23
Sir. Tim.

Coxcomb! ha, ha, ha, ah thou are a good one. Well I say no more.

Isab.

Da, da, pretty thing!

Enter Sir Edward, Bellfort and Doubty.
Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, the storm has oblig'd me that drove you under my Roof, I knew your Fathers well, we were in Italy together, and all of us came home with our English Religion, and our English Principles. During your stay here (which for my own sake I hope will not be short) command my House: let not your Dogs and Servants lye at Whalley; but be pleas'd to know this House is yours, and you will do me honour in commanding it.

Bell.

This generosity makes good the Character that all men give of you.

Doubt.

A Character that England rings with, and all men of never so differing opi∣nions agree in.

Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, you do me too much honour; I would endeavour to imi∣tate the life of our English Gentry before we were corrupted with the base man∣ners of the Frenh.

Bell.

If all had had that Noble resolution, long since we had curb'd the greatness of that Monarch.

Isab.

What are these Apparitions, Doubty and Bellfort!

Theo.

They are they indeed. Hay, what ails my heart to beat so fast?

Isab.

Methinks mine is a little too busy here.

Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, here is my Daughter and her Kinswoman, I think you saw 'em last Summer at Scarbrough.

Bell.

We did Sir.

They salute 'em.
Doubt.

We little thought to have the honour of seeing so fine Ladies this night.

Enter Servant, and whispers to Sir Edward.
Bell.

We could not expect this happiness, till next Season at the Waters.

Sir Edw.

What story is this? My Son almost frighted out of his wits with a Witch! Gentlemen, I beg your pardon for a moment.

Ex. Sir Edward and Servant.
Both.

Your humble Servant.

Isab.

Nothing could be more unexpected than seeing you here!

Theo.

Pray Gentlemen, How did you come?

Doubt.

Travelling for Whalley, where I told you, Madam, in my Letters, I would suddainly be, we lost our way by the darkness of the night, and wanderd till we came near this House, whither an honest Contry fellow brought us for shelter from this dreadful Tempest.

Bell.

And your Father is pleas'd to admit a brace of stray-fellows with the greatest civility in the world: But, Madam, coming safe to shore, after a Shipwrack, could not bring such joy to me, as I find in seeing you.

To Isab.
Doubt.

The Sun, to a man left a Winter at Greenland, could not be so ravishing a sight, as you dear Madam are to me.

To Theo.
Theo.

This is Knight Errantry indeed.

Isab.

Methinks they talk Romance too. But 'tis too late if they be in earnest; for the Dames are disposed of.

Page  24
Bell. Doubt.

How, Married!

Isab.

Not executed but condemn'd!

Theo.

Beyond all hopes of mercy.

Doubt.

Death, Madam, you struck me to the heart: I felt your Words here.

Bell.

My heart was just at my mouth, if you had not stopt it with this Cordial 'thad slown. I may live now in hope of a reprieve for you.

Isab.

Our Fathers will never consent to that.

Theo.

Mine will not I am sure. I have a Mother, to boot, more obstinate than he.

Doubt.

If they be so merciless, self-preservation, the great Law of Nature will ju∣stify your escape.

Bell.

We Knight Errants, as you call us▪ will rescue you I warrant you.

Isab.

But if we leave our fools, our Fathers will leave us.

Bll.

If you lose your Father, Madam, you shall find one that will value you ininitely more, and love you more tenderly.

Doubt.

And you, Madam, shall meet with one, whose person and whose fortune shall be always at your command.

Theo.

We grow a little too serious about this matter.

Isab.

'Tis from Matrimony we would fly! oh 'tis a dreadful thing.

Bell.

This heresy can never be defended by you: a man must be blind that inclines to that opinion before you.

Enter Sir Edward, Smerk, Servants.
Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, I ask your pardon, be pleas'd to walk into the next Room, and take a small Collation to refresh your selves.

Bell.

Your Humble Servant.

Sir Edw.

This Country Fellow that led you hither, tells me a Tale of Witches, and here's and uproar in my Family, and they say this place is haunted with them; I hope you have no faith in those things.

Doubt.

When I hear a very strange story, I always think 'tis more likely he should lye that tells it me, than that should be true.

Sir Edw.

'Tis a good rule for our belief.

Exeunt.
Smerk.

My blood rises at them, These are damn'd Hobbists and Atheists, I'd have 'em burn in Smithfield.

Isab.

Well, these Gentlemen may perhaps go to their Servants and Horses at Whal∣ly to morrow, where they must stay some time before we see 'em again.

Theod.

We are ruin'd then: For this Marriage will be so press'd upon us, now the Writings are sealed, and Clothes bought, we shall have no way to delay it, but down∣right breaking with our Fathers.

Isab.

I am resolvd to consult with the Gentlemen this night whatever comes on't.

Theo.

How canst thou possibly bring it about my Dear?

Isab.

I warrant thee, a Womans wit will naturally work about these matters. Come my Dear.

Ex. omnes.
Page  25 The Scoen Sir Edward's Celler.
Enter all the Witches, and the Devil in the form of a Buck-Goat after.*
Demd.
Lo here our littlea Master's come.
Let each of usb salute his Bum.
All kiss he Devils Arse.
See our provisions ready here,
To which noc Salt must ere come near.
Table rises.
M. Spen.
Who draws the Wine?
Demd.
Ourd Brooms shall do't.
Go thou.
Dicken.
And thou.
Harg.
And thou.
Mal. Spen.
And thou.
Their Brooms all mrch off and ferch Bottle.
Devil.
e What have ye done for my delight?
Relate the service of the night.
Demd.
To a Mothers Bed I softly crept,
And while th' unchristen'd Brat yet slept,
f I suct the breath andg blood of that,
And stole anothers flesh and fat,
Which I will boyl before it stink;
The thick for Ointment, then for Drink
Ile keep—
h From a Murdrer that hung in Chains
I bit dryd Sinews and shrunk Veins.
Marrow and Entrails I have Brought,
A piece ot'h' Gibbet too I got,
And of the Rope the fatal Knot.
I sunk a Ship, and in my flight
I kickt a Steeple down to Night.
Devil.
Well done my Dame, Ho, ho, ho, ho.
Dick.
i To Gibbets I flew and dismal Caves,
To Charnel houses and to Graves.
k Bones I got, and flesh enough
From dead mens Eyes the glewyStuff,
Their Eye-balls with my nailes scoop'd out
And pieces of their Limbs I've brought—
l A Brat ith Mothers Womb I slew.
The Fathers neck I Twisted too.
Doggs-barkt, Cocks-Crowed, away I flew.
Devil.
A good Servant, Ho, ho, ho.
Harg.
m Flesh from a Raven in a Ditch
I snatcht, and more from a ravenous Bitch.
n Mongst Tombs I search'd for flesh and bore,
o With hair about my ears alone.
Page  26p Fingers, Noses, and a Wen.
And the blood of murder'd men,
q A mad Dogs Foam, and a Wolves Hairs,
A Serpents Bowels, Adders Ears,
I put in my Pouch; and coming back
The Bells in a Steeple I did crack.
I sent the murren into Hogs,
And drove the Kine into the Bogs.
Devil.
Tis well, 'tis well. Ho, ho, ho, ho.
M. Spen.
r To make up Love Cups I have sought,
A Wolfs Tail, Hair, and Yard, I've got
The Green Frogs Bones, whose flesh was tain
From thence by Ants; then a Cats Brain,
The Bunch of flesh from a black Foles head,
Just as his Dam was brought to Bed,
Before she likt it; and I have some
Of that which falls from a Mares Womb
When she's in Lust; and as I came home
I put a woman into its
And righted a Parson out of his wits.
Devil.
All's well. Ho, ho, ho, ho.
〈◊〉

Song.

1.
WHat joy like ours can mortals find?
We can command the Sea and Wind:
All Elements our Charms obey,
And all good things become our prey;
The daintiest Meat, and lustiest Wine,
We for our Sabaths still design.
'Mongst all the great Princes the sun shall ere see.
None can be so great, or so happy as we.
2.
We Sail in Egg-shells on rough Seas,
And se strange 〈◊〉 when we please▪
Or on our Besoms we can fly,
And nimbly mounting to the Sky,
We leave the swiftest Birds behind,
And when we please outstrip the Wind:
Then we feast and we revel after long light,
Or with a Lov'd Incubus sport all the night.
3.
When we're on Wing, we sport and play,
Mankind, like Emmets, we survey;
With Lightening blast with Thunder Kill.
Cause barrennesss where e're we will.
Of full revenge we have the power;
And Heaven it self can have no more.
Heres a health to our Master the Prince of the Flies,
Who commands from Center all up to the Skies.
All.

s Harr,t harr,u Harr, harr, harr, hoo, hoo, hoo, sabath, sabath, sabath, Devil, Devil, Devil, dance here, dance there, play here, play there, harr, harr, harr, hoo, hoo, hoo.—

They all sink and vanish.
Act Ends.
Page  27 Page  28 Page  29

ACT. III.

Enter Sir Edward Harfort, Bellfort and Doubty.
Doubt.

YOu have extreamly delighted us this morning, by your House, Gardens, your Accommodation, and your way of Living, you put me in mind of the renowned Sidneys Admirable description of Kalandar.

Sir Edw.

Sir you Complement me too much.

Bell.

Methinks you represent to us the Golden days of Queen Elizabeth, such sure were our Gentry then; now they are grown Servile Apes to Forreign customes, they leave off Hospitality, for which we were famous all over Europe, and turn Servants to Board-wages.

Sir Edw.

For my part, I love to have my Servants part of my Family, the other were to hire day Labourers to wait on me, I had rather my Friends, Kindred, Ten∣nants and Servants should live well out of me, than Coach-makers, Taylors, Em∣broiderers, and Lacemen should: To be pointed at in the Streets, and have Fools stare at my Equipage, is a vanity I have always scorn'd.

Doubt.

You speak like one descended from those Noble Ancestors that made France tremble, and all the rest of Europe Honour 'em.

Sir Edw.

I reverence the Memory of 'em: But our New-fashion'd Gentry love the French too well to fight against 'em; they are bred abroad without knowing any thing of our Constitution, and come home tainted with Foppery, slavish Principles, and Popish Religion.

Bell.

They bring home Arts of Building from hot Countries to serve for our cold one; and F••gality from those places where they have little Meat and small Stomacks, to suffice us who have great plenty and lusty Appetites.

Doubt.

They build Houses with Halls in 'em, not so big as former Porches; Beg∣gars were better entertained by their Ancestors, than their Tennants by them.

Sir Edw.

For my part, I think 'twas never good days, but when great Tables were kept in large Halls; the Buttery-hatch always open, Black Jacks, and a good smell of Meat and March-beer, with Dogs-turds, and Mary-bones as Ornaments in the Hall: These were signs of good House keeping, I hate to see Italian fine Buildings with no Meat or Drink in 'em▪

Bell.

I like not their little Plates, methinks there's Vertue in an English Sur-loyn.

Doubt.

Our Sparks bring nothing but Forreign Vices and Follies home; 'tis redicu∣lous to be bred in one Country to learn to live in another.

Sir Edw.

While we lived thus (to borrow a Coxcombly word) we made a better Figure in the World.

Bell.

You have a mind that suits your Fortune, and can make your own hap∣piness.

Sir Edw.

The greatest is the Enjoyment of my Friends, and such Worthy etlemen Page  30s your Selves, and when I cannot have enough of that; I have a Library, good Hor∣ss and good Musick.

Doubt.

Princes may envy such an English Gentleman.

Sir Edw.

You are too kind, I am a true English man, I love the Princes Rights and Pples liberties, and will defend 'em both with th last penny in my purse, and the last drop n my veins, and dare defy the witless Plots of Papists.

Bell.

Spoken like a Noble Patriot.

Sir Edw.

Pardon me, you talk like English-men, and you have warm'd me; I hope to see the Prince and People flourish yet; old as I am, inspite of Jesuits, I am sure our Constitution is the Noblest in the World.

Doub.

Would there were enough such English Gentlemen.

Bell.

Twere to be wisht; but our Gentry are so much poysoned with Forreign Vnities, that methinks the Genius of England seems sunk into the Yeoma••y.

Sir Edw.

We have indeed too many rotten Members▪ You speak like Gentlemen, Worthy of such Noble Fathers, as you both had; but Gentlemen I spoke of Musick, I see two of my Artists, come into the Garden, they shall entertain you with a Song this Morning.

Bell.
Sir you oblige us every way.
An Italian Song.
Finely compos'd, and excellently perform'd.
Doubt.

I see Sir you are well serv'd in every thing.

Enter Isabella and Theodosia.
Sir Edw.

My sweet Cousin good Morrow to thee, I hope to call thee shortly by another Name, my dear Child, Heaven's bless thee▪

Isab. Kneels.
Bell.

Ladies your most humble Servant; you are early up to take the pleasure of the Morning in these Gardens.

Doubt.

'Tis a Paradice you are in; every object within this place is ravishing.

Theo.

This place affords variety of Pleasures; nothing here is wanting.

Bell.

Where such fine Ladies are.

Enter Servant with Tegue O Devilly an Irish-Priest.
Serv.

A Gentleman, To speak with you.

Sir Edw.

With me! Daughter pray shew those Gentlemen the Statues, Grottoes and the Water-works, Ile wait on you immediately.

Bell.

This is an opportunity beyond our hopes.

Ex. ell. Doubt. Isab. Theo.
Sir Edw.

Would you speak with me?

Priest.

Arrah, and please ty Oorship, I am come here to displaash to maake a 〈◊〉 unto thee, dest dou not know me Joy?

Sir Edw.

Oh! You live at Mr. Redletters my Catholick Neighbours.

Priest.

Ah by my Shoul, I.

Sir Edw.

How came you to venture hither? you are a Popish-Priest.

Priest.

Ay, but 'tis no matter for all daat oy: by my Shoul, but I vill taak de Page  31 Oades, and I think I vill be excus'd, but hark 〈◊〉 you a while, by my trott I shall be a Papist too for all daat, indeed, yes.

Sir Edw.

Excellent Principles.

Priest.

I do come for de nonest to see dee, and yet I do not come on purpose gra: But it is no matter, I will talk vid you about daat, I do come upon occaasion and Mr. Redletter did shend me unto de.

Sir Edw.

For What?

Priest.

What will I say unto dee now, but Mr. Redletter did shend me, and yet I did come of my self too for all daat upon occaasion, daat I did heare, concerning of dee, dat dy House and de Plaash is all over-run with Witches and Spirits, do you see now?

Sir Edw.

I had best let this Fool stay to laugh at him, he may be out of the damn'd Plot, if any Priest was? Sure they would never trust this Fool.

Aside.
Priest.

What shaall you shay unto me upon all dis, I will exorcize doze Vitches, and I will plague dose Devils now by my Shoul, vid Holy-Water, and vid Reliques, and I will reet 'em out of his Plaash, God shaave the King.

Sir Edw.

I have forgot your Name.

Priest.

They do put the Name of Kelly upon me, Joy, but by my fait I am call'd by my own right Name, Tegue O Devilly.

Sir Edw.

Tegue O Devilly?

Priest.

Yes, a very oold Naam in Eereland by my Shalvaation, well gra, I have brought upon my Cloke-bagg shome Holy-water, and I will put it upon the Devils and de Vitches Faashes, and I will make you shome more Holy-water, and you will vaash all de Roomes vid it and bee—

Sir Edw.

Well, Father Tegue O Devilly, You're welcom; but how are you venture publickly in these times?

Priest.

Why, I have great consideraation upon dy Prudence; for if dou woudst be∣tray me, now phare will be de soleedity of dat Joy.

Sir Edw.

I speak not for my self, but others.

Priest.

The Devil aak me now, I do think, I will suffer for my Religion, I am affraid I will be slain at lasht at the plaash they call Saint Ty-burn, but I do not caare by my Shalvaation; for if I will be hang'd, I will be a Saint presently, and all my Country shall pray unto Saint Tegue, besides, shome great people will be naamless too, I tell you I shay noe more, but I will be prayed unto Joy.

Sir Edw.

Prayed too! Very well.

Priest.

Yes by my Shoule will I, and I will have Reliques maade of me too.

Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir Ieffery Shacklehead and my Lady have some business with you, and desire your company within.

Sir Edw.

Come Father Tegue, come along with me, do you hear, find the Gentle∣men that are walking with my Daughter and her Couzen, and tell 'em I will wait on 'em presently.

Ex. Sir Edw. and Priest.
Serv.

I will. They are here, Gentlemen, my Master is called away upon business Page  22〈◊〉 begs your excuse, and will wait on you presently.

Ex. Serv.
Bell.

Heaven gives us yet a longer Opportunity, and certainly intends we should make use of it; I have my own Parson that comes to hunt with me at Whally, Madam, an excellent School Divine, that will end all differences betwixt us.

Isab.

He is like to begin 'em betwixt us▪ the Name of a Parson is a dreadful Name upon these occasions, he I bring us into a Condition we can never get out of but by Death.

Bll.

If the absolute command of me and my Fortune can please you, you shall never desire to get out of it.

Doubt.

I should at more distance and with more reverence approach you, Madam, did not the shortness of the time, and the great danger of losing you, force me to be free; Throw not away this pretious time, a Minute now is Inestimable.

Theo.

Yet I must consider on that Minute on which the happiness or Misery of all my Life may depend.

Isab.

How can imagine that you who have rambled up and down the Southern World, should at last ix on a Horne-bred Mistress in the North? how can you be in earnest?

Bell.

Consult your Understanding and your Looking-Glass, one will tell you how Witty, Wise, and Good you are, the other, how Beautiful, how Sweet, how Charm∣ing.

Isab.

Men before they are Married turn the great end of their Perspective; but the little end after it.

Bell.

They are Men of ill Eyes, and worse Understanding; but for your Perfections there needs no Perspective.

Theo.

If I were inclin'd to Marriage, methinks we are not well enough acquainted yet to think of that.

Doubt.

To my Reputation I suppose you are no Stranger, nor to my Estate, which lis all in the next County; and for my Love, I will convince you of it, by setling what ever you please, or all that Estate upon you before I expect any Favour from you.

Theo.

You are so Generous beyond my Deserts, that I know not how to Credit you.

Doubt.

Your Modesty is too Great, and your Faith too Little.

Enter Sir Tymothy.
Sir Tim.

Death, Who are these whith my Mistress and my Sister? Oh! they are the silly Fellows that we saw at the Spaw, that came hither last night, do you know Sir, that this is my Mistress Sir?

Bell.

I know Sir that no man is worthy of that Honour.

Sir Tim.

Ye Sir, I will make you know that I am Sir, and She has the Honour to be my Mitress.

Bell.

Very well Sir.

Sir Tim.

Very well Sir, No 'tis very ill Sir, that you should have the boldness to take my Mistress by the Hand Sir, and if you do Sir, I must tell▪ you Sir—What do you Smile Sir?

Page  33
Bell.

A man may do what he will with his own Face. I may Smile Sir—

Sir Tim.

If you do Sir, I will fight Sir, I tell you that Sir. hah,

Isab.

Sir Timothy, you are a Bloody-minded man.

Sir Tim.

'Tis for my Honour, my Honour, he is plaguely afraid; look you Sir, if you Smile Sir, at me Sir, I will Kick Sir, that's more Sir.

Bell.

If you do, you will be the fifteenth man I have run through the Body Sir.

Sir Tim.

Hah! What does he say, through the Body, oh.

Theo.

Yonders my Brother, we must not be so perticular, lets joyn.

Sir Tim.

How, the Body Sir?

Bell.

Yes Sir, and my custom is (if it be a great affront, I kill them, for) I rip out their Hearts, dry 'em to Powder, and make Snuff on 'em.

Sir Tim.

Oh Lord! Snuff!

Bell.

I have a box full in my pocket Sir, will you please to take some.

Sir Tim.

No Sir, I thank you Sir: Snuff quoth a, I will have nothing to do with such a cruel man, I say no more Sir.

Doubt.

Your Servant Sir—

Sir Tim.

Your Servant Sir: does he take such Snuff too?

Bell.

The same—do you hear Sir, if you value your own life, which I will save for the Families sakes, not a word of this to any man.

Sir Tim.

No Sir, Not I Sir? Your humble servant.

Enter Sir Edward.
Sir Edw.

I ask your pardon Gentlemen, I was stay'd by what, if you please to walk in, will divert you well enough.

Doubt.

Wee will wait on you Sir.

Sir Edw.

Daughter, Sir Ieffery and my Ladys have made complaints of you for a∣busing Sir Timothy; let me hear no more on't, we have resolv'd the Marriage shall be to Morrow, it will become you to be upon a little better Tearms to day.

Sir Tim.

Do you here that Gentlewoman—

Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, I have sent to Whally for all your Servants, and Horses, and Doggs, you Must do me the honour to Make some stay with me.

Bell.

We cannot enough acknowledg your great Civility.

Sir Edw.

No Complements, I obliege my self; Sir Ieffery Shacklehead and I have just now agreed, that to morrow shall be the Day of Marriage between our Sons and Daughters.

Theo.

Very short warning.

Sir Edw.

Hee I not delay it longer.

Theo.

I'le in and see what the reason of this sudden resolution.

Bell.

Sir we wait on you.

Sir Edw.

Stay you there a while with Sir Timothy.

Ex. all but Sir Tim. and Isab.
Sir Tim.

Dear Cousin, prethee be kinder to me, I protest and vow, as I am a Christian, I love the better then both my Eyes, for all this.

Isab.

Why how now Dogs face, hast thou the Impudence to make love again, Page  34 with that hideous Countenance? that very insipid silly Physnomy of thine? with that most piteous mein? why thou lookst like an Operatr for Teeth.

Sir Tim.

This is all sham, I wont beleive it; I can see my self in the great glass, and to my mind no man looks more like a Gentleman than my self.

Isab.

A Gentleman! with that silly wadling shuffling gate? thou hast not mien good enough for a chief Constable, every change of thy Countenance, and every motion of thy Body proclaims thee an Ass.

Sir Tim.

Ay, Ay, come Madam, I shall please you better when I am Marry'd, with a 〈◊〉 that I have; I tell yee.

Isab.

Out of my sight, thou makest me sick to see thee.

Sir Tim.

I shall be more Familiar with you to Morrow-night, oh my dear rogue—well I say no more, faith I shall, well, no more to be said.

Isab.

Be gone thou Basilisk, here, I vow if thou wert the only man on Earth, the Kinde should cease rather than I would Marry thee.

Sir Tim.

You'l be in a better humour to Morrow-night, though you are such a 〈◊〉 now.

Isab.

This place, where some Materials are to mend the Wall, will furnish me with some Ammunition: be gone I say.

Sir Tim.

I shant dot, I know when I am in good Company, come prethee Cousin, do not let us Fool any longer, to Morrow we shall be one flesh—de ye see:

Isab.

I had rather be inoculated into a Tree, than be made one Flesh with thee; can that Westphlia hide of thine ever become one Flesh with me? when, I can become one Ass with thee it may, you shall never change my mind.

Sir Tim.

Well, well, I shall have your Body to Morrow-night, and I warrant you your mind shall soon follow it.

Isab.

Be gone, thou infinite Coxcomb, Ile set thee farther.

She throws Stones at him.
Sir Tim.

What, what, what a pox! hold, what a Devil, are you mad? Flesh, heart, hold, what a plague, uds bud, I could find in my heart to turn again.

Isab.

Do ilthy Face, do if thou darst.

Sir Tim.

Oh help, murder, murder.

Ex. Sir Timothy.
Isab.

I have no patience with this Fool, no Racks, or Tortures shall force me to marry him.

Ex. Isab.
Enter Young Harford and Theodosia.
Theo.

I am very indifferent about this Matrimony, and for ought I see, you are so too.

Yo. Har.

I must confess you are as fine a Gentlewoman as ever I saw, and I am not worthy of you; but my Father says he will disinherit me, if I will not marry you to Morrow; therefore I desire you would please to think on't.

Theo.

I will think on't.

Yo Har.

You shall command all my Estate, and do what you will; for my part, I rsolve all my Life, to give up my self wholly to my Sports, and my Horses, and Page  35 my Dogs, and to drink now and then a cup of Ale with my Neighbours, I hate Wine.

Theo.

You will do very well.

Yo. Har.

He says we must be Married to Morrow at Ten, I can be going a Hawking by six and come home time enough, I would be loath to neglect my Hawking at Pows in the height of the Season.

Theo.

By no means, you'd do very ill if you should.

Yo. Har.

Ay so I should, but shall I tell my Father that you will have me to Mor∣row? you know the Writings are Sealed, and Wedding-Cloaths bought of all sides.

Theo.

Well, I shall do as becomes me.

Yo. Har.

Well, Cousin there's no more to be said betwixt you and I then, Pace Verba, a word to the Wise, I say, is enough, so I rest your humble Servant to com∣mand; e tell my Father what you say presently, your Servant to, tell you truly I had never so much mind to be Married as now; for I have been so woundedly frightned with Witches, that I am affraid to lye alone, dee see; well, I am glad this business is over: a pox upon all mking of Love for me.

Ex. Yo. Har.
Theo.

I thought I saw my Cousin in yo Walk, 'tis time for us to consult what to do, my Father and Mother are resolved upon to Morrow for the fatal day.

Ex. Theo.
Enter Smerk, and Priest, and Mrs. Susan.
Priest.

By my shoule, Ioy, I thank you for my Fast-break, for it does give refreshment unto me, and Consolaation too gra.

Smerk.

Thank you Mistress Susan, my Caudle was admirable; I am much strengthened by these good Creatures.

Sus.

Yours was admirable—if Mother Demdike has any Skill, I shall find the opperati•• before night, and I will be reveng'd for his scorn to me.

Aside.
Priest.

Though thou dosht know me, yet thou dosht shay thou wilt tell nothing concerning of me.

Smerk.

No, for my part though I differ in some things, yet I honour the Church of Rome as a true Church.

Priest.

By my Shalvaation yee did all come out of us indeed, and I have expectaation daa you will come in agen, and I think I will live to shee it; perhaps I will tell you now, you had your Ordination too with us.

Smerk.

For my part, I think the Papists are honest, loyal men, and the Iesuits dyed in∣nocent.

Priest.

Phaat dou dosht not believe de Plot de Devil taak me.

Smerk.

No, no, no Papist Plot, but a Presbyterian one.

Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo, By my Shalvaation I will embraash dy Fathers Child, and I will put a great kish upon dy cheeke, now for dat, ay dear ish a damnd Presbyterian Plot to put out de Paapists, and de Priests, and de good Men, and if I would have my minde, de Devil taak me I would shee 'em all broyle and fry in de 〈◊〉 they call Smithfild,〈◊〉.

Page  36
Smerk.

I wou'd have S••plices cram'd down their Throats, or would have 'em hang'd in 〈…〉.

Priest.

〈…〉.

Enter〈◊〉and Doubty.
〈◊〉

〈…〉 with these Priests, see they are come from their Breakfast, and 〈◊〉

Priest.

〈…〉 not believe de Paapist Pot my Ioy.

〈◊〉

〈…〉 Presbyterian Plot I do: I would be a Turk before I would be a 〈…〉

〈◊〉

〈…〉 I vill give Satisfction unto dee, and aak dee of my Church, we have 〈…〉 of dy Church, and dou art almost as good a Friend as he in de West, I have 〈…〉 take it did begin vid a T.

Doubt.

How now! Do nt you believe a Ppish Plot?

Smerk.

No, but a 〈◊〉 I do.

Bell.

This is great Impudence, ater the King has affirm'd it in so many Prclamations, and three Parliaments have 〈◊〉 it, Nemine 〈◊〉.

Smerk.

Parliaments, tell me of Parliaments, with my Bible in my hand, le dispute with the whole 〈◊〉 of Commons; Sir, I hate Parliaments, nne but Phanaticks, Hobbists, and Athiests, believe the 〈◊〉.

Priest.

By my 〈…〉, dou dsh't maak me weep indeed, by my Shoul, Ioy, dou wilt be a good Cathlick, if I will instruct dee, I will weep on dee indeed.

Bell.

Why the true and wise Church of England-men believes it, and are a great Rock a∣gainst the Church of Rome.

Doubt.

And Preach and Write learnedly against it; but such Fellows as you are scandals to the Church, a Company of Tantivy Fools.

Bell.

All the Eminent men of the Church of England believe the Plot, and detest it with horror, and abominate the Religion that contriv'd it.

Smerk.

Not all the Eminent men, for I am of another opinion.

Doubt.

By my shoul, by my Shoud, Ioy, dey are our Enemies, and I would have no fait put upon de••, but dis is my dear Friend.

Doubt.

This is a Rascal conceal'd in the Church, and is none of it; sure his Patron know him not.

Bell.

No certainly!

Smerk.

You are Hobbists and Athiests.

Priest.

It is noe mater for all daat Ioy, what dey doe shay unto dee for by Chreest, and by Saint Paatrick dey be Heretick Doggs, by my Shalvaation dou dosht maake me weep upon de agen; by de Lady Mary, I think I will be after reconciling deet o de Catholick Church in∣deed.

Enter Sir Ieffery, Lady, Sir Edw. and Isab. and Theodosia.
Sir Ieff.

Your Servant Gentlemen.

La. Sha.

Your most humble Servant.

Page  37
Bell. Doubt.

Your most humble Servant.

Sir Edw.

Is not my Irish man a pleasant fellow?

Dubt.

A great Father of the Church.

Bell.

And perhaps may come to be hang'd for't.

Sir Edw.

Sir 〈…〉 to take some informations about Witches, perhaps that may divert you not ill, 'Tis against my opinion, but I give him way.

La. Sha.

I hope you are pleas'd to pardon my incivillity, in rushing unawares into your Chamber last night; but I know you are so much a Gentleman, so well-bred▪ and so a•••mplist, I know you do—

Doubt.

adam.

La. Sha.

And for that reason I will make you my Confident in a business, that perhaps, I do not know, but I think it may not be t your disadvantage, I will commu∣nicate it to you in ••ivate. Nw, Sir Ieffery and I are to take some Examinations. I assist him very 〈…〉 business, or he could never do it.

He sits down and La Sha.
Sir Ieff.

Call in these Fellows, 〈◊〉 hear what they'l say about these Witches; come on, Did you serve my Warrant on Mother Demdike?

They call the Constable in and a Country fellow.
Const.

Sir, I went to her House (and please your Worship) and lookt in at her Window, and she was feeding three great Toads, and they daunc'd and leapt about her, and she suckled a great black Cat well nigh as big as a Spaniel; I went into the House, and she vanisht, and there was nothing but the Cat in the middle, who spit and star'd at me, and I was frighted away.

Sir Ieff.

An arch Witch I warrant her.

Const.

I went out at the back-dore, and by the Threshold sat a great Hare, I struck at it, and it run away, and ever since I have had a great pain in my back, and cannot make Water, saving your presence.

Sir Edw.

A fit of the Gravel.

Priest.

No, by my shoule, she is a great Witch, and I vil cure you upon aat.

Sir Ieff.

No: I tell you, Sir Edward, I am sure she is a Witch, and between you and I, last night, when I would have been kind to my Wife, she bewitht me, I found it so.

Sir Edw.

Those things will happen about ive and fifty.

Priest.

I will tell you now, Joy, I will cure you too. * Taak one of de Tooths of a dead man, and bee, and burn it, and taak dee smoke into both your Noses, as you taak Snush, and anoint your self vid dee Gaal of a Crow, taak Quicksilver, as dey do call it, and put upon a Quill, and plaash it under de shoft Pillow you do shit upon, den maake shome waa∣ter through de Ring of a Wedding, by St. Patrick, and I will shay shome Ave Maaries for dee, and dou wilt be ound agen: gra.

Sir. Ieff.

Who is this pretends to skill in Witchcraft?

Sir Edw.

A very lea••ed man in these matters, that comes hither on purpose.

Sir Ieff.

I shall be gla of your better acquaintance.

Priest.

I vil be very vel pleash'd to b after being acquainted vid dee Joy.

Page  38
La. Sha.

Have you any more to say? Fellow speak to me.

Const.

Why, an't please your Worship forsooth, Mother Demdike said she would be revengd on me for not giving her some Butturmilk; and the next night coming from Rachdale, I saw a great Black Hog, and my Horse threw me, and I lost a Hog that night, he dy'd, that was as well when he went to bed, as ever he was since he was born.

La. Sha.

'Tis enough, a plain, a manifest Witch, make a Warrant for her.

Sir Ieff.

Ay, do.

La. Sha.

Take some of the Thatch of her House, and burn it at your House, and you shall see she will come streight.

Sir Ieff.

Or to morrow about dawn, piss in a Pot, and cover it with your right, neither Stocking, and the Witch will be tormented in her Bladder, and come to you roaring before night.

These two Remedies are in Scott.
Doubt.

A most profound Science.

Bell.

And poor old Ignorant wretches must be hang'd for this.

Const.

A Cow of mine is bewitcht too, and runs about the Close as if she were mad; and that, I believe, Mother Hargrave bewitcht, because I deny'd her some 〈◊〉.—good.

Sir Ieff.

〈◊〉 into the Warrant too: 'Tis enough, a little thing will serve for evi∣dence against Witch.

Sir Edw.

A very little one.

Priest.

* Put a pair of Breeches or Irish Trowsers upon your Cows head, Fellow, upon a Fryday Morning, and wid a great Stick maak beat upon her, till she do depart out of de Close, and she vill repair unto de Witches dore, and she vill knock up∣on it vid her Horns indeed.

Const.

Thank you good Sir.

Sir Ieff.

Sir, I see you are a Learned man in this business, and I honour you.

Priest.

Your Servant Sir, I will put shome holy waater into your Cows mout, and I vill maak Cure upon her for all daat indeed.

La. Sha.

Come, has any one else any thing to inform?

Const.

Yes ant please your Worship, here is a Neighbour, Thomas o Georges.

Tho. o G.

Why, an't please your Worships, I was at Mal. Spencers House where he wons 〈◊〉 Lone, and whoo had a meeghty great Cat, a black one by'r Lady, and whoo kist and who clipt Cat, and ay set me dwn a bit (meet a bit) and believe Cat went under her Coats, Quo ay what don yeo doo with that fow Cat? why, says Whoo, who soukes me. Soukes tee! Marry that's whaint quo ay, by'r Lady what an Cat do besides? Why, says whoo, whoost carry me to Rachdale believe. Whaw, quo ay, that's prtty! Why, sayes whoo, yest ha one an yeow win to carry yeow; by'r lady, quo ay, with aw my heart, and thank ow too, marry 'twill save my Tit a pow'r of labour; so whoo cawd a Cat to me, a huge Cat, and we ridden both to Rachdale strieght along.

B••l.

Well said, this was home; I love a Fellow that will go through stitch.

Sir Ieff.

This is a Witch, indeed, put her name in.

Priest.

This is nw thing by my Shoule, I will tell you now it is naw thing for all dat, a Vih, if she be a good Vitch, will ride upon a Graashopper, I tell you, very well, Page  39 and yet a Graashopper is but a weak beast neither; you do maak wonder upon dis but by my Shoule it is naw thing.

Sir Ieff.

Where did you take Cat, say you, together?

Tho. o. Geor.

Why, we took Catith Lone meet a mile off.

Sir Ieff.

So you rid eight mile upon Cats: are there any more informations?

Const.

No more ant please your Worship, but when I have once taken 'em, enough will come in.

La. Sha.

Go then about taking 'em, and bring 'em before Sir Ieffery, and my self, Ple warrant you wee'l order 'em.

Priest.

I will tell you now Fellow, taak de shoe of a Horse, and nayle it upon your Threshold, de plaash dou dosht goe into dy dore upon.

Sir Ieff.

And put a Clove of Garlick into the Roof of thy Hose.

La. Sha.

Femel is very good in your House against Spirits and Witches, and Alicium, and the Herb Mullein, and Long-wort, and Moly too is very good.

Priest.

* Burne shome Brimstone, and maak a sweet fume of de Gall of a Black Dogg, Joy, and be∣smeare dy Pots, and dy Walls, and bee, and Cross dy Self, and I will touch dee vid Reliques, and dee to gra.

Const.

Thank you good Sir.

Tho. o Geor.

Thank a.

Sir Edw.

Is not this an excellent Art?

Bell.

'Tis so extravagant, that a man would think they were all in Dreams that ever writ of it.

Doubt.

I see no manner of Evidences against these poor Creatures.

Bell.

I could laugh at thee Fools sufficiently, but that all the while our Mistresses are in danger.

Doubt.

Our time is very short, prethee let's consider what is to be done.

Isab.

Well, my Dear, I must open my heart to thee; I am so much in Love with this Bellfort, that I shall dye if I lose him.

Theo.

Poor Isabella, dying is something an inconvenient business; and yet I should live very uncomfortable without my Spark.

Isab.

Our time's very short, therefore preethee let's play the fool no longer, but come to the point when we meet 'em.

Theo.

Agreed: But when shall we meet 'em?

Isab.

I warrant thee before Midnight.

Sir Edw.

Come, let us take one turn in the Garden, and by that time my Dinner will be ready.

Bell.

Madam, For Heaven's sake consider on what a short time my Happiness or Ruin depends.

Isab.

Have a care, Sir Ieffery and his Lady will be Jealous.

Bell.

This is a good sign.

To himself.
Theo.

Not a word, we shall be suspected, at night we will design a cenferrence.

Page  40Enter Mal Spencer and Clod.
M. Spen.

Why so unkind Cld? You frown and wonnot kiss me.

〈◊〉.

No marry, ••e be none of thy Imp, I wott.

M. Spen.

What dot thou mean my Love? prethee kiss me.

〈◊〉.

Stand off by'r Lady an I lit kibbo once, 〈◊〉 raddle thy bones: 〈…〉 that, thou art a fow Witch.

M. Spen.

〈◊〉 Witch a poor Innocent young Lass, that's whaint, I am not awd 〈◊〉 for that Mon.

〈◊〉.

And I believe my yne, by the Mass I saw you in Sir Yedards Cellar last neeght with your 〈◊〉, thou art a rank Witch, uds flesh I'le not come nere thee.

M. Spn.

Did you see me? Why, if I be a Witch, I am the better Fortune for you, 〈…〉 of the best and be rich.

〈◊〉.

〈◊〉 marry le fare none with thee, Ile not be hang'd, nor go to the Deel 〈…〉 mass, but I will hang thee on I con by'r Lady.

M. Spen.

Say you so Rogue, Ile plague you for that.

She goes out.
Cld.

What is whoo gone? Tis for no good marry, I ha scap'd a fine waife, a fow 〈◊〉 by'r Lady, Ile hang the Whean and there be no more Witches in Loncashire.〈◊〉 whats tiss?

Mal. Enters with a Bridle, and puts it on ere he is aware.
Mal.
S.a Horse, Horse, be thou to me,
And carry me where I shall flee.
She gets upon him, and flies away.
Enter Demdike, Dickenson, Hargrave, &c. with their Imps, and Madg, who is to be the new Witch.
Demd
b Within this Shattrd Abby Walls,
This Pit or grown with Brakes and Briers,
Is fit for our dark Works, and here
Our Mastr dear, will soon appear,
And make the Mother Madge a Witch,
〈…〉 be Happy, long-liv'd, Rich,
Thou wi•• be Powrful and Wise,
And be reveng'd of thy Enemies.
Madg.
'Tis that I'd have, I thank you Dame,
Demd.
c Hr take this Imp, and let him suck,
Hl do what e're thou bidst him, call
Him 〈…〉,
Madg.

Come hither Puck-Hairy.

En. an Imp in shape of a black shock, comes to her.
Demd.

Where is thy Contract written in Blood?

Madg.

'Tis here.

Demd.
So t' firm and good.
Wheres my Mamilion come my Rogue,
Page  41 And take thy Dinner.
Dicken.
Where•• my Puggy?
Come to me and take thy Duggy.
Harg.

Come my Rouney, where art thou?

Enter Mal. Spencer, Leading Clod in a Bridle.
Mal.
Come Sirrah, I have switcht you well
She ties him up, and joyns with the other Witches.
I'le tye you up now to the Rack.
Well met Sisters, wheres my Pucklin?
Come away my pretty Sucklin.
Clod.

Waunds and Flesh, what con Ay do naw, I am turn'd into a Horse, a Capo, a meer Titt; Flesh Ayst ne're be a Mon agen, I marle I con speak, I conno pray, I wot a pox o'th' Deel Mun, Ay live of Oates, and Beans, and Hay aw my life, instead of Beef and Pudding: uds Flesh I neigh too,

He neighs.

Oh who has switcht and spurd me plaguely, I am raw all over me, whoo has ridden a wounded way about too.

Demd.
Oyntment for Flying here I have,
d Of Childrens Fat stoln from the Grave.
e The juice of Smallage, and Night-shade,
Of Poplar Leaves, and Aconite made
With these.
The Aromattic Reed I boyl,
With Water-parsnip, and Cinquesoil;
With store of Soot, and add to that,
The reeking Blood of many a Bat.
Dick.
f From the Seas 〈◊〉 owse a Weed,
I fetchd to open Locks at need.
g With Coats uckt up, and with my Hair,
All flowing losly in the Air,
With naked Feet I went among
h The poysnous Plants, there Addersi Tongue,
With Aomt and Martagon,
Henbane, Hemlock, Moon-wort too,
k Wild Fig-Tree, that o're Tombs do's grow,
The deadly Night-shade, Cypress, Yew,
And Libbards Bane, and venemous Dew,
I gathered for my Charms. Harg.l And I
Dug up a Mandrake which did cry,
Three Circles I made, and the Wind was good,
And looking to the West I stood.
M. Spen.
m The Bones of Frogs I got, and the Blood,
With Screetch-Owls Eggs, and Feathers too.
n Here's a Wall-Toad, and Wings of Bats,o
The Eyes of Owls, and Brains of Cats.
Page  42 The Devil appears in Humane Shape with four Attendants
Demd.
Peace, here's our Master him Salute,
And kiss the Toe of his Cloven Foot,
They kiss the Devils Foot.
Now our new Sister we present,
The Contract too, sign it with Blood.
Madge signs it with her Blood.
Dev.
First, Heaven you must renounce.
Madg.
I do.
Dev.
Your Baptism, thus I wash out too.
The new Name Maudlin you must take,
And all your Gossips must forsake,
And I these new ones for you make.
Demd.
A piece of your Garment now present.
Madg.
Here, take it Master, I'm content.
Gives it him.
Demd.
Within this Circle I make here,
Truth to our Master you must swear.
Madg.
I do.
Dev.
You must each month some murdered Children pay,
Besides your yearly tribute at your day.
Madg.
I will.
Dev.
Some Secret part I with my mark must sign.
A lasting token, that you are wholy mine.
Madg.
Oh!
The Devil takes her hands between his.
Demd.
Now do your Homage.
Dev.
Curse Heaven, Plague Mankind, go forth and be a Witch.
The Musick sounds in the Air.

Song.

Chor. of 3 parts.
WElcome, welcome, happy be,
In this blest Society.
1.
Men and Beasts are in thy Power,
Thou canst Save, and canst Devour,
Thou canst Bless, and Curse the Earth,
And cause Plenty, or a Dearth.
Chor.
Welcome, &c.
2.
O're Natures Powers thou canst prevail,
Raise Winds, bring Snow, or Rain, or Hail;
Without their Causes, and canst make
The steady Course of Nature shake.
Page  43 Chor.
Welcome, &c.
3.
Thou canst mount upon the Clouds,
And skim o're the ruggid Floods;
Thou canst dive to the Sands below,
And through the sollid earth canst go.
Chor.
Welcome, &c.
4.
Thou'lt open Looks, or through a Chink
Shalt creep for daintiest Meat and Drink.
Thou maist sleep on tops of Trees,
And lye in Flowers like Humble Bees.
Chor.
Welcome, &c.
5.
Revenge, revenge, the sweetest part
Of all thou hast by thy black Art.
O Heaven thou ne're shalt fx thy mind,
For here 'tis Heav'n to plague mankind.
They Dance with fantastick unusual postures
Devil.
p At your command all Natures course shall cease,
And all the Elements make war or peace:
The Sky no more shall its known Laws obey,
Night shall retreat whilst you prolong the day.
q Thy Charms shall make the Moon and Stars come down,
And in thick darkness, hide the Sun at Noon.
r Winds thou shalt raise, and streight their rage controul.
s The Orbs upon their Axes shall not rowl;
Hearing thy mighty Charms, the troubled Sky
Shall crack with Thunder, Heav'n not knowing why.
t Without one puff the Waves shall foam and rage,
Then though all Winds together should ingage,
The silent Sea shall not the Tempest feel.
u Vallies shall roar, and trembling Mountains reel.
x At thy command Woods from their seats shall rove,
Stones from their Quarries, and fixt Oaks remove.
y Vast standing lakes shall flow, and, at thy will,
The most impetuous Torrents shall stand still:
Swift Rivers shall (while wond'ring Banks admire)
Back to their Springs, with violent hast, retire.
z Thy Charms shall blast full Fruits, and ripen'd Ears.
a Ease anxious minds, and thn afflict with cares.
b Give Love, where Nature cannot, by thy skill,
And any living creature save or kill:
c Raise Ghosts, transform your self and whom you will.
Page  44 Enter Tom. Shacklehead, with a Gun on his shoulder.
Demd.
Who's here? who's here?
Tom. Sha.
Waunds whats here? The Witches By'r Lady,
I'le shoot amongst 'em: have at ye.
They all vanish, and Clod Neigh
Hey, Dive-dappers, Dive-dappers:
What a Devils here! Clod tied by a Bridle and Neighing! What a Pox ail'st thou?
Const a tell?
Tom. Shac. takes off the Bridle.
Cld.
Uds flesh, I am a Mon agen naw!
Why, I was a Horse, a meer Tit, I had lost aw
My speech, and coul'd do naught but neigh;
Flesh I am a Mon agen.
Tom. Sha.
What a dickens is the fellee wood?
Clod.
Ise ta the Bridle with me, fly from the Dee'l, and the Witches, and I'le tell you
aw at the Ale-house.
Tom. Sha.
What a murrain ails the Hobbell?
I mun follow, and see what's the matter.
Act Ends.
Page  45 Page  46

ACT. IV.

Sir Edward, Sir Ieffery, La. Shaklehead, Sir Timothy and Isabella.
Sir Ie••.

I Am sorry I am forced to complain of my Cosin.

La. Sha.

Sorry, marry so am not I; I am sorry she is so pert and ill-bred, truly Sir Edward 'tis unsufferable for my Son, a man of his Quality and Title, Born of such a Family, and so Educated, to be so abused, to have Stones thrown at him lie a Dog.

Sir Ieff.

We must e'en break off the Match, Sir Edward.

Sir Edw.

Sir, I am as••med of it, I blush and grieve to hear it; Daughter, I never thought to see this day.

〈◊〉.

Sir, I am so amazed I know not what to say, I abuse my Cosin! Sure he is bwitched.

Sir Tim.

I think I am, to Love you after it, I am sure my Arm's black and blew, that it is.

〈◊〉.

He ested with me, as I thought, and would have ruffled me, and kissed me, ad I run from him, and in foolish play, I quoited a little Stone or two at him.

Sir Tim.

And why did you call me Filthy-face, and ugly Fellow, hh, Gentlewo∣man?

La. Sha

He ugly! Nay, then I have no Eyes, though I say't, that should not say't, 〈…〉 his Fellow—

Page  47
Isab.

Nor I neither: 'twas a jest, a jest, he told me he was handsomer for a Man, than I for a Woman.

Sir Ieff.

Why, look you there, you Blockhead, you Clown, you Puppy, why do you trouble us with this impertinent lye?

La. Sha.

Good words, Sir Ieffery, 'twas not so much amiss; hah, I'le tell you that.

Sir Edw.

Sure this is some mistake, you told me you were willing to marry.

Isab.

I did not think I should be put to acknowledg it before this Company: But Heaven knows, I am not more willing to live; the time is now so short, I may con∣fess it.

Sir Edw.

You would not use him, you intend to marry, ill.

Isab.

I Love him I am to marry more than Light or Liberty. I have thus long dis∣sembled it through Modesty; but, now I am provoked, I beseech you Sir, think not that I'd dishonour you so.

Sir Edw.

Look you, you have made her weep; I never found her false or disobe∣dient.

Sir Tim.

Nay, good dear Cousin, don't cry, you'l make me cry too; I can't forbear, I ask your pardon with all my heart, I vow I do, I was to blame, I must confess.

La. Sha.

Go too, Sir Timothy, I never could believe one of your parts would play the Fool so.

Sir Edw.

And you will marry to morrow.

Isab.

I never wisht for any thing so much, you make me blush to say this.

La. Sha.

Sweet Cousin forgive me, and Sir Ieffery, and Sir Timothy.

Isab.

Can I be angry at any thing▪ when I am to be married to morrow? And I am sure I will be, to him I love more than I hate this Fool.

[Aside]
Sir Ieff.

I could find in my heart to break your head, Sir Timothy, you are a Puppy.

Sir Edw.

Come lets leave 'em together, to understand one another better.

Sir Ieff.

Cousin, Daughter I should say, I beg your pardon, your Servant.

La. Sha.

Servant, Sweet Daughter.

Ex. Sir Edw. Sir Jeff. and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Dear Cosin be in good humour, I could wish my self well beaten for mistaking one that loves me so, I would I might ne're stir, if I did not think you had been in earnest: well, but I vow and swear I am mightily beholden to you, that you think me so fine a person, and love me so dearly; Oh how happy am I that I shall have thee to morrow in these Arms! by these ten bones, I love you more than all the Ladies in London put them together. Prethee Speak to me, O that Smile Kills me, oh I will o Hug thee and Kiss thee, and Love thee to morrow night—I'd give forty pound to morrow night were to night, I hope we shall have twins before the year comes about▪

Isab.

Do you so Puppy?

She gives him a box on the Ear, and pulls him by the Ears.
Sir Tim.

Help, Help, Murder, Murder.

Isab.

Help, Help, Murder, Murder.

Sir Tim.

What a Devils to do now? hah, she Counterfeits a Sound.

Page  48 Enter Theodsia at one Door, and Sir Ieffery, and Lady a the other.
Theo.

How now, my Dear, what's the matter?

Sir Ieff.

What's the Matter?

Sir Tim.

I feel the matter, She gave me a Cuff, and lug'd me by the Ears, and I think she is in a Sound.

Iab.

Oh the Witch! the Witch came just now into the Room, and struck Sir Timothy, and Lug'd him, and beat me down.

Sir Tim.

Oh Lord, a Witch! Ay, 'twas a two legg'd Witch.

Isab.

And, assoon as she had done, she run out of that Door.

Theo.

'Tis very true, I met her and was frighted, and left her muttering in the next 〈◊〉.

Sir Tim.

Oh Impudence!

Sir Ieff.

You Puppy, you Coxcomb, will you never leave these lyes, is the fellow bewitched?

He cudgels Sir Tim.
La. Sha.

Go Fool, I am ashamed of you.

Sir Ieff.

Lets see if we can take this Witch.

La. Sha.

Quickly, before she flies away.

Ex. Sir Jeff. and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Well, I have done, I'le ne're tell tale more.

Isab.

Begone, Fool, go.

Sir Tim.

Well, I will ndure this, but I am resolved to marry her to morrow and be revenged on her; if she serves me so then, I will tickle her Toby for her, faith I will.

Ex. Sir Tim.
Isab.

Well, I'le be gone, and get out of the way of 'em.

Theo.

Come on.

Enter Young Harfort Drunk.
Yo. Harf.

Madam! Cozen hold a little, I desire a word with you.

Theo.

I must stay.

Isab.

Adieu then.

Yo. Harf.

I am drunken well 〈◊〉, and now I am not so hala (since we must mar∣ry to morrow) I pray you nw lt us be a little better acquainted to neeght, He make bold to Salute you in a Civil way.

Theo.

The Fool's drunk.

Yo. Harf.

By the Mass she kisses rarely, uds lud she has a Breath as sweet as a Cow, I have been a Hawking, and have brought you home a power of Powts in my bag here; we have had the rarest sport, we had been at it still, but that 'tis neeght.

Theo.

You have been at some other sport I see.

Yo. Harf.

What, because I am merry? nay, and I list, I can be as merry as the best on em all.

An onny mon Smait my Sweet hear,
Ayst Smait him agen an I con,
Flesh what care for a brokken Yead,
For onest a mon's a mon.
Theo.

I see you can be merry indeed.

Yo. Har.

Ay that I can, Fa, la, la, fa, la.

He Sings Roger a Coverly.

Page  49 I was at it helter Skelter in excellent Ale, with Londoners that went a Hawking, brave Roysters, honest fellows that did not beleive the Plot.

Theo.

Why don't you beleive the Plot?

Yo. Har.

No, the Chaplain has told me all; there's no Popish Plot, but there's a Pres∣byterian one, he says, none but Phanaticks believe it.

Theo.

An Excellent Chaplain to make love to his Patrons Daughter, and Corrupt the Son.

Aside.

Why all the Eminent men of our Church beleive it; this fellow is none of the Church, but crept into it for a livelyhood, and as soon as they find him they'l turn him out of it.

Yo. Har.

Nay, Cousin I should not have told it, he Charged me to say nothing of it; but you and I ae all one, you are to be bone of my bone to morrow: And I will Sa∣lute you once more upon that d'e see.

Theo.

Hold, Hold, not so fast 'tis not come to that yet.

Yo. Har.

'Twill come to that and more to morrow, fa, la, la, but I'le out at four a Hawking, though for all that, d'e understand me?

Theo.

Her'es Doubty, I must get rid of this fool.

Enter Doubty.

Cousin, I hear your Father coming; if he sees you in this Condition hee'l be very Angry.

Yo. Har.

Thank you Kindly, no more to be said, I'le go and Sleep a little, I see she loves me, fa, la, la, la.

Ex. Yo. Harfort.
Doubty.

Dear Madam, this is a happy 〈◊〉 thrown upon me unexpectedly, and I must use it: To morrow is the faral day to ruin me.

Theo.

It shall not ruin me: the Inquisition should not force me to a Marriage with this fool.

Doubty.

This is a step to my Comfort; but when your Father shall to morrow hear your refusal, you know not what his passion may produce; restraint of Liberty is the least.

Theo.

He shall not restrain my Liberty of Choice.

Doubt.

Put your self into those hands that may defend you from his Power: the hands of him, who loves you more than the most Pious value Heaven, than Misers Gold, than Clergy men love Power, than Lawyers strife, than Jesuites Blood and Treachery.

Theo.

If I could find such a man.

Doubt.

Then look no farther Madam, I am he; speak but one word, and make me the happiest man on Earth.

Theo.

It comes a little to quick upon me; are you sure you are the man you speak of?

Doubt.

By Heaven; and by your Self I am, or may I be the scorn of all Mankind; and the most Miserable too, without you.

Theo.

Then you shall be the man.

Doubt.

Heaven; on my Knees I must receive this Blessing; there's not another I would ask, my Joy's too big for me.

Theo.

No Raptures for Heavens sake, here comes my Mother, adieu.

Page  58Enter Lady Shaklehead.
Doubt.

I must Compose my self.

La. Sha.

Sir your most humble Servant.

Doubt.

Your Ladiships most humble Servant.

La. Sha.

It is not fit I should lose this opportunity, to tell you that (which per∣haps may not be unacceptable to a person of your Complexion) who is so much a Gentleman, that I'le swear I have not seen your equal.

Doubt.

Dear Madam, you confound me with your Praises.

La. Sha.

I vow 'tis true; indeed I have strugled with my self before I thought fit to reveal this: but the consideration of your great accomplishments, do indeed, as it were, ravish, or extort it from me, as I may so say.

Doubt.

I beseech you Madam.

La. Sha.

There is a Friend of mine, a Lady (whom the world has acknowledged to be well bread, and of Parts too, that I must say, and almost confess) not in the Bud indeed, but in the Flower of her Age, whom time has not yet invaded with his injuries; in fine, envy cannot say that she is less than a full ripe Beauty.

Doubt.

That this Creature should bring forth such a Daughter.

Aside.
La. Sha.

Fair of Complexion, Tall, Streight, and shaped much above the ordinary; in short, this Lady (whom many have Languished, and Sigh'd in vain for) does of her self, so much admire your Person, and your Parts, that she extreamly desires to contract a Friendship with you, intire to all intents and purposes.

Doubt.

'Tis impossible she should be in earnest, Madam, but were she, I cannot Marry ever.

La. Sha.

Why she is Married already, Lord how dull he is! she is the best Friend I have, Married to an old man, far above her sprightly years.

Doubt.

What a Mother-in-Law am I like to have!

Aside.
La. Sha.

Can you not Guess who this is all this while?

Doubt.
Too well.
To himself.
Not I truly Madam.
To her.
La. Sha.

Ha, ha, ha, no! that's strange, ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

I cannot possibly.

La. Sha.

Ha, ha, ha. I'le swear! ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

No, Ile swear.

La. Sha.

'Tis very much, you are an ill guesser, I'le vow, ha, ha, ha! Oh Lord, not yet?

Doubt.

Not yet, nor ever can.

La. Sha.

Here's Company, retire.

Enter Smerk and Tegue O Divelly.
Smerk.

I am all on fire, what is it that Inspires me! I thought her ugly once, but this morning thought 〈…〉 in love already! Sure I was blind, she is a beauty 〈…〉 a minutes absence is death to me.

Page  59
Priest.

Phaat Joy, dou art in Meditaation and Consideraation upon something? if it be a Scruple upon thy Conscience, I believe I vill maak it out unto dee.

Smerk.

No Sir, I am only ruminating a while; I am inflamed with her affection, O Susan! Susan! Ah me! Ah me!

Priest.

Phaat dost dou not mind me? nor put dy thought upon me? I do desire to know of dy Faathers Child, what he does differ from de Caatholick Church in, by my fait it is a braave Church, and a gaallant Church (de Devil taake mee) I vill tell you now, phare is dere such a one? vill you speak unto me now Joy, hoh?

Smerk.

'Tis a fine Church, a Church of Splender, and riches, and power, but there are some things in it—

Priest.

Shome things! Phaat dosht dou taalk of shome things? By my shoule I vill not see a better Church in a Shommers day, indeed, dan de Caatholick Church. I tell you there is braave dignities, and promotions too; what vill I shay unto you? by St. Phaatrick, but I do beleeve I vill be a Cardinal before I vill have death. Dey have had not one Eerish Cardinal a great while indeed.

Smerk.

What power is this that urges me so fast, oh Love! Love!

Priest.

Phaat dosht dou shay, dosht dou love promotions and dignities? den I predee now be a Caatholick. What vill I say unto you more? but I vill tell you, You do shay dat de Caatholicks may be shaved, and de Caatholicks do shay, dat you vill be after being damn'd, and phare is de solidity now of daat, daat dou vill not turn a good Caatholick?

Smerk.

I cannot beleive there is a Purgatory.

Priest.

No! Phy I vill tell you what I vill shay unto you, I have sheen many Shoules of Purgatory dat did appear unto me; And by my trot, I do know a Shoule when I do shee it, and de Shoules did speak unto me, and did deshire of me dat I vould pray dem out of that plaashe: And dere Paarents, and Friends did give me shome money, and I did pray 'em out. Widout money indeed, we cannot pray dem out, no fait.

Smerk.

That may not be so hard; but for Transubstantiation, I can never beleive it.

Priest

Phaat dosht not beleive de Cooncel of Trent Joy? dou vilt be damn'd indeed, and de Devil take me, if dou dosht not beleive it. I vill tell you phaat vill I say to you, a Cooncel is infalible; and I tell you, de Cardinals are infalible too, upon occaa∣sion, and dey are damn'd Heretick Dogs, by my shoulvaation, dat do not beleive every oord dey vill speak indeed.

Smerk.

I feel a flame within me, oh Love, Love, wether wilt thou carry me?

Priest.

Art thou in love Joy? by my shoule dou dosht Comitt fornicaation, I vill tell you it is a veniall Sinn, and I vill after be absolveing you for it: but if dou dosh Comitt Marrage, it is mortall, and dou vilt be damn'd and bee fait and trot. I predee now vill dou fornicate and not Marry: for my shaake now vilt dou fornicate.

Smerk.

Sure I am bewitch'd.

Priest.

Bewitch'd in love, Aboo! boo! I'le tell you now, you must taake de Womans* Shoe dat dou dosht Love sho, and dou must maak a Jaakes of it, dat is to shay, dou must lay a Sirreverence, and be in it, and it will maake cure upon dee.

Smerk.

Oh the Witch! the Witch! Mal. Spencer, I am struck in my Bowels, take Page  58〈1 page duplicate〉Page  59〈1 page duplicate〉Page  52 her away, there, oh! I have a Thousand Needles in me, take her away, Mal. Spencer.

Priest.

Phaare is shee, Mal. Spencer. Exercize te Conjure te in Nomine, &c.

He mutters and Crosses himself.
Smerk.

Oh, I have a Million of Needles Pricking my Bowels.

Priest.

I vill, set up a hubub for dee, help! help! who is dere? help, Aboo, boo, boo.

Enter Sir, Ieffery, and Lady, and Susan.
Smerk.

Oh Needles! Needles! Take away Mal. Spencer, take her away.

Sir, Ieff.

He is bewitch'd, some Witch has gotten his Image, and is tormenting it.

Priest.

Hold him, and I vill taak some course vid him, he is possess'd, or obess'd, I vill touch him vid some Relicks.

Susan.

Oh, good Sir, help him, what shall I do for him?

La. Sha.

Get some Lead melted (and holding over his body) power it into a Po∣ringer full of Water, and if there appear any image upon the Lead, then he is be∣witch'd.

This experiment is to be found in Mal. Mallific.
Priest.

Peash, I shay, here is shome of St. Phaatricks own Whisker, and some of the Snuff he did use to taak, dat did hang upon his Beard; here is a Tooth of St. Winifred, indeed, here is a Corn from de Toe of St. Ignatius, and here is de paring of his Nails too.

He rubs him with these Relicks.
Smerk.

Oh worse, worse, take her away.

Priest.

By my shoule it is a very strong Devil, I vill try some more, here is St. Caa∣terine de Virgins Wedding-Ring, here is one of St. Bridges Nipples of her Tuggs, by my shoule, here is some of de sweat of St. Francis, and here is a piece of St. Laurence's Grid∣iron, dese vill make Cure upon any shickness, if it be not ones lasht shickness.

Susan.

What will become of me, I have poyson'd him, I shall lose my Lover, and be hang'd into the bargain.

Smerk.

Oh! I dye, I dye, oh, oh.

Priest.

By my shoule it is a very strong Devil, a very aable Devil, I vill run and etch shome Holy-vater.

Ex. Priest.
Susan.

Look up, dear Sir, speak to me, ah woes me, Mr. Smerk, Mr. Smerk.

Sir Ieff.

This Irish-man is a Gallant man about Witches, he out does me.

La. Sha.

But I do not know what to think of his Popish way, his Words, his Charms, and Holy Water, and Relicks, methinks he is guilty of Witchcrast too, and you should send him to Goal for it.

Smerk.

Oh! oh!

Enter Priest with a Bottle of Holy-water.
Priest.

Now, I varrant you Joy, I vill do de Devil's business for him, now I have dis Holy-Vater.

The Bottle flies out of his hand.
Phaat is de matter now? phare is dis Devil dat does taak my Holy-Vater from me? He is afraid of it; I shee my bottle, but I do not shee de Devil does taake it. I vill Catch it from him.

The Bottle, as he reaches at it, flyes from him.
Sir Ieff.

This is wonderful!

Page  53
La. Sha.

Most amazing!

Priest.

Conjure te malum 〈◊〉, Conjure te pessir•• in 〈◊〉, redde mihi me•• (〈◊〉 Latime) Bottle, phaat vill I do? It is gone

It lyes quite away.
La. Sha.

'Tis strange: You se he does not fear holy-water.

Priest.

I tell you phaat is de matter, by my Shoule he vill touch de Bottle, be∣cause daat is not Consecrate; but, by my fait, he will not meddle vid de Vater. I vill ferch shome, I have in a Baashon.

He runs out and fetches a Bason of Water.
Susan.

He lyes as if he were a Sleep.

Smerk.

Oh! I begin to have some ease.

Priest.

I did never meet vid a Devil dat did Cosht so much Laabour before.

He throws Water in Smerks Fact.

Exercis te Demonens fuge, fuge, Exerciso te, per Melchefideck, per Bethlehem Gabor, per omne quod Exit in um seu Graecum sive Latinum.

Smerk.

I am much better now, and the Witch is gone.

Susan.

Good Sir retire to your Chamber, I will fetch some Cordials.

Smerk.

Sweet beautiful Creature! How I am Enamour'd with thee! Thy beauty dazles like the Sun in his Meridian.

Sir Ieff.

Beauty, Enamourd! Why he seems distracted still; lead him to his Cham∣ber, and let him rest.

Priest.

Now Joy, dosht dou shee, I have maade a Miracle by my shoule. Phen vill I shee one of your Church maake a Miracle, hoh? by my Shoulevaation dey cannot maake Miracles out of de Caatolick Church, I tell you now, hoh.

Mother Demdike enters invisible to them and boxes the Priest.

Phaat is de matter now, ah? by my shoule shomething does cuff upon my faash, an bee, Exercise te in omine, nomine, by my shoule Saatan, I vill pelt dee vid Holy-Vater in∣deed; he is Angry dat I did make a Miracle.

Mother Demdike gets behind him, and Kicks and Beats him.
La. Sha.

What is this, I hear the blows, and see nothing.

Sir Ieff.

So do I, I am frighted and amazed; lets fly.

Ex. Sir Jeff. and La.
Priest.

Oh, oh, vat is dis for Joy, oh, all my Holy-Vater is gone, I must fly.

He mutters and Crosses himself, and the Wuch beats him out.
Enter Bellfort and Isabella.
Bell.

All this day have I watched for this opertunity, let me improve it now. Con∣sider, Madam, my Extream Love to you, and your own harred to that Fool, for whom you are designed to morrow.

Isab.

My consent is to be had first.

Bell.

Your Fathers resentment of your refusal, may put you out of all possibillity of making me happy, or providing for your own Content.

Isab.

To Marry one against his Consent is a Crime heel ne're forgive.

Bell.

Though his Engagement to Sir Ieffery would make him Refuse his Consent beforehand: He is too reasonable a man to be troubled afterwards, at your Marrying to a better Estate, and to one that loves more than he can tell you: I have not words for it.

Page  62
Isab.

Though I must Confess you may deserve much better, would you not Ima∣gine I were very forward to receive you upon so short an Acquaintance.

Bell.

Would I had a Casement in my Breast. Make me not, by your delay, the miserablest wretch on Earth. (Which I shall ever be without you) think quickly Madam, you have not time to Consider long, I lay my self at your Feet, to be for ever made happy or miserable by you.

Isab.

How shall I be sure you'l not deceive me? These hasty vows, like Angry words, Seldom shoes the Heart.

Bell.

By all the Powers of Heaven and Earth.

Isab.

Hold, Swear not, I had better take a man of honour at his Word.

Bell.

And may Heaven throw its Curses on me when I break it; my Chaplin's in the House, and passes for my valet de Chambre. Will you for ever make me Hap∣py Madam?

Isab.

Ile trust your honour; and I'le make my self so; I throw my self upon you, use me nobly: now 'tis out.

Bell.

Use yee, as I would use my Soul; my Honour, my Heart, my Life, my Liberty, and all I have is yours. There's not a man in all the World, that I can envy now, or wish to be.

Isab.

Take care, we shall be spyed: The short time I have to resolve in, will, I hope, make you have a better Opinion of my modesty, than otherwise you would have occasion for.

Bell.

Dearest! Sweetest of Creatures! my Joy distracts me, I cannot speak to you.

Isab.

For Heavens sake leave me, if you raise a Jealously in the House I am ruin'd, we'll meet soon.

Bell.

Adieu my Life! my Soul! I am all obedience.

Exit. Bellfort.
Enter Theodosia.
Isab.

Oh my Dear, I am happy, all's out that pained me so; my Lover knows I love him.

Theo.

I have Confessed to my Ghostly Father too, and my Conscience is at ease.

Isab.

Mine received the news with more Joy, than he Could put in Words.

Enter Sir Ieffery, Lady, and Sir Timothy.
Theo.

And mine in rapture; I am the happiest Woman Living.

Isab.

I'le not yeild to you at all in that.

Theo.

There's no cause, I would not submit to you in, but this my Dear.

Isab.

I will hold out in this cause while I have breath, I am happier in my Choyce than all the World can make me.

Theo.

Mine is the Hansomest, Wittiest, most accomplisht Gentleman—

Isab.

Mine is the beautifullest, sweetest, well-shap'd, well-bred, wittiest Gentleman—

Sir Tim.

That must be I, whom she means, for all my Quarrels with her.

La. Sha.

Peace, we shall hear more.

Theo.

Little think our Fathers how happy we shall be to morrow.

Sir Ieff.

What's that? Listen.

Page  63
Isab.

(If no unlucky Accident should hinder us) we shall be farr happier than they can Imagine.

Theo.

How we have Cheated them all this while!

Isab.

'Slife they are behind us, stirr not. We have hidden our love from them all this while.

La. Sha.

Have you so? but we shall find it now.

aside
Isab.

Your Brother Little thinks I Love him so; For I have been Cross and coy to him on purpose. I shall be the happiest Woman in him, I am to have, that ever was.

Theo.

I could wish your Brother lov'd me as well as mine does you. For never Wo∣man loved the man she was to Marry as I do him, I am to have to morrow.

Sir Ieff.

That's my best Daughter, thou wert ever a good Child, nay blush no, all is out, we heard ye both.

Sir Tim.

Ay, all is out, my pretty Dear dissembler: well, I protest and vow, I am mightily obliged to you for your great love to me, and good opinion of me.

La. Sha.
I hope to morrow will be a happy day for both our families.
Enter Sir Edward, Bellfort and Doubty, and Musicians.

Oh Sir Edward, is not that strange I told you, I should not have beleived it if I had not seen it.

Sir Edw.

And pray give me the same liberty: But now wee'l have some musick, that's good against inchantment, Sing me the Song I Commanded you, and then wee'l have a dance before we go to bed.

Song
Enter Priest.
Priest.

Hoh, 'tis a pretty Shong, but I vill shing a brave Cronan now, dat is better I tell you.

He Sings.
Sir Edw.

'Tis very fine but sing me one Song more in three parts, to sweeten our Ears, for all that.* Why what's the matter? you gape and make faces, and do not sing, what's the matter, are you mad?

Priest.

Doe you play, play I say, Oh they are bewitch'd, I vill shay no more.

Sir Edw.

Play I say.

Music.

I can't, my Arms are on the sudden stiff as marble, I cannot move them.

They hold up their bows, but cannot play. Exit. Priest.
Sir. Edw.

Sure this is roguery, and Confederacy.

Priest.

Conjuro te conjuro in nonime, &c.

The Priest. come in with Holy-Water and slings it upon them So long till they run out roaring▪
Sir Edw.

Hold, hold, prethee don't duck us all we are not all bewitch'd.

Priest.

I tell you it ish good for you an bee, and vill defend you upon occasion.

Sir Ieff.

Now you see, Sir, with your own Eyes; cannot you give us a Receipt to make Holy-water?

Priest.

A Resheit, aboo, boo, boo; by my Shoule he is a Foole. I have ma••e Page  62〈1 page duplicate〉Page  63〈1 page duplicate〉Page  56 two Hogsheads gra: and I vill have you vash all de Rooms vid it, and de Devill vill not come upon de plaash by my Shalvaation.

Bell.

'Tis a little odd; but however, I shall not fly from my Belief, that every thing is done by Natural Causes, because I cannot presently assign those Causes.

Sir Edw.

You are in the right, we know not the powers of matter.

Doubt.

When any thing unwonted happens, and we not see the cause, we call it unnatural and miraculous.

Priest.

By my Shoule you do talke like Heretick-Dogs, and Aathiests.

Sir Edw.

Let us enquire farther about these Musicians.

Priest.

I vill maake shome Miracles, and I think I vill be after reconcileing dem indeed, oh dou damn'd vitch.

Ex. all but Priest.
Now I doe shee dee I vill beat upon dee vid my Beads
Mother Dick▪ rises up, and boxes him, be strikes her with Beads, and see him with her Staff, and beats him out.
and Crucifix, oh, oh, shee is a damn'd Protestant He∣retick Vitch, daat is de reason she vill not fly, oh, oh, oh.

Ex. Priest.
Enter Tom Shaklehead, and Clod, in the Field.
Tho. Sha.

Byr Lady 'tis meeghty strong Ale, Ay am well neegh drunken, and my Nephew will bee stark wood, his Hawkes want their Pidgeon saw this neeght.

Clod.

Why what wouden yeow bee a Angee? Flesh, Ay ha getten de Bridle byr Lady, Ayst ma some body carry mee, and bee my Titt too.

Tom.

Thou'rt a strange Fillee (Horse I should say) why didst thou think thou wast a Titt when th' Bridle was on thee.

Clod.

Ay marry, I know weel I am sure, I wott I was a Titt, a meere Titt.

Tom.

Listen, there's a noise of women in the Ayr, it comes towards us.

Clod.

Ay by th'Mass, 'tis Witches.

Witches above.
Here this way, no that way, make haste, follow the Dame, we shall be too late, 'tis time enough; away, away, away.

Tom.

Wawnds and Flesh it is a flock of Witches byr Lady, they come reeght ore head, I'st let fly at 'em, hah, be th' mass I ha mamed one, heres one has a wing brocken at least.

He shoots, M. Spencer shrieks, and falls down.
Clod.

M. Spencer by th' mass.

M. Spen.

O Rogues! I'le be revenged on you, Dogs, Villains, you have broken my Arm.

Clod.

I was made a Horse, a Titt by thee, by th' mass I'st be revenged o'thee.

He puts the Bridle upon her.
Horse, Horse, be thou to me.
And carry me where e're I flee.
He flies away nyon her.
Tom.

O'ds Flesh, what's this? I connot believe my Sences; I mun walk home alone, but I'le charge my Peice again byr Lady, and the Haggs come agen I'st have t'other Shoot at 'em.

Ex. Tom. Shack.
Page  59 The Scene returns to Sir Edwards House.
Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

My Dear Friend, I am so transported with excess of Joy, it is become a pain, I cannot bear it.

Doubt.

Dear Bellfort! I am in the same Case, but (if the hope transports us so) what will Enjoyment do?

Bell.

My Blood is chill, and shivers when I think on't.

Doubt.

One night with my Mistress would outweigh an Age of Slavery to come.

Bell.

Rather than be without a nights Enjoyment of mine, I would be hang'd next morning: I am Impatient till they appear.

Doubt.

They are Women of Honour, and will keep their Words; your Parson's ready, and three or four of our Servants for Witnesses.

Bell.

He is so, 'twill be dispatch'd in half a quarter of an hour, all are retired to bed.

Enter Lady Shacklehead.
Doubt.

Go in, yonders my Lady-Mother-in-Law coming, I must contrive a way to secure her: in, in.

Bell.

I go.

Doubt.

Death, that this old Fellow should be asleep already! she comes now to discover, what I know too well already.

La. Sha.

He is there I'le swear, a punctual Gentleman, and a person of much honour; Sir, I am come according to your appointment; Sir Ieffery is fast.

Doubt.

'Tis before I expected, Madam, I thought to have left Bellfort asleep, who is a Jealous man, and believes there is an Intrigue betwixt your Ladiship and me.

La. Sha.

I vow: ha, ha, ha, me! no, no; ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

Retire for a short time, and when I have secured him, I'le wait on you; but let it be i'th' dark.

La. Sha.

You speak like a Discreet and Worthy Person, remember this Room, there's no body lies in it; I will stay there in the dark for you.

Ex. Lady.
Doubt.

Your most humble Servant. Well, I will go to the Ladies Chamber as if I istook it for mine, and let them know this is the time.

Enter Tegue O Divelly.
Priest.

Dere is shometimes de pretty Wenches, doe walke here in de dark at night, and by my Shoulvaation if I doe catch one, I vill be after enjoying her Body: and fait and trot I have a great need too, it is a venial Sin, and I do not care.

Doubt.

Death, who is here? stay Ladies, here's the damn'd Priest in the way.

Enter Doubty with a Candle.
Page  58
Isab.

Go you, wee'l follow by and by in the dark.

The Ladies retire, Doubty goes to his Chamber.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

I hear one trampling, he is come already, sure Bellfort is asleep; who is there?

Priest.

By my Shoul it is a Womans speech, 'tis I; where are you? by my fait I vill maak a Child upon her Body.

La. Sha.

Mr. Doubty.

Priest.

Ay, let me put a sweet Kish upon dy hand Joy, and now I vill Shalute dy Mout, and I vill embraash dy Body too indeed.

La. Sha.

S'life, I am mistaken, this is the Irish Priest; his understanding is sure to betray him.

Priest.

I predee now Joy be not nishe, I vill maak shome good sport vid dee in∣deed.

La. pulls her hand away, and flies.
Hoo now, phaare is dy hand now? oh,
Enter Mother Dickenson and puts her hand into the Priests.
Here it is by my Shoule.

I vill use dee braavely upon occaasion, I vill tell you, predee kish me upon my Faash now, it is a braave kish indeed.

The Witch kisses him.

By my Shoul don art very hansome, I doe know it, dough I cannot shee dee. I predee now retire vid me, aboo, aboo, by my Shoule dis is a Gaalant occaasion, come Joy.

Ex. Priest and Witch.
Enter Lady.
La. Sha.

What's the meaning of this? he talked to some Woman, and kissed her too, and is retired into the Chamber I was in.

Enter Isab. and Theo.
Isab.

Every thing is quiet, I hear no noise.

Theo.

Nor I, this is the happy time.

La. Sha.

This must be he; who's there?

Theo.

S'life! this is my Mothers voice, retire softly.

Isab.

Oh Misfortune! What makes her here? we are undone if she discovers us.

La. Sha.

Whose there I say? will you not answer? what can this mean? 'tis not a Wench I hope for Doubty, and then I care not.

Isab. and Theo. retire.
Enter Priest and Witch.

I am impatient till he comes; ha, whom have we here? I am sure this is not he, he does not come that way.

Priest.

By my shoul Joy, dou art a Gaalant peece of Flesh, a braave Bedfellow, phoo art dou?

Dick.

One that loves you dearly.

Priest.

Phaat vill I doe to shee dy faash I wonder? Oh, here is a light approaching unto us.

La. Sha.

Who's this with a light? I must fly.

Ex. La. Sha.
Page  59 Enter Susn with a Candle.
Priest.

Now I vill shee dy faash.

Susan.

O, Sir, are you there? I am going to Mr. Smirk with this Candle poor man.

Priest.

O phaat have I done? Oh! de Vich! de Vich!

The Witch sinks, she lets fall the Candle and Candle, and runs a∣way shrieking.
Susan.

Oh! the Witch! the Witch!

Priest.

By my Shoule I have had communicaation and Copulaation too vid a Succubus; Oh! phaat vill I do! phaat vill I do! by my fait and trot, I did tought shee had been a braave and gaallant Lady, and bee, oh! oh!

Ex. Priest.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

What shriek was that? hah! here's nobody, sure all's clear now!

Enter Isabella, Theodosia.
Isab.

I heard a shriek, this is the time to venture, they are frighted out of the Gal∣lery, and all's clear now.

Theo.

Let's venture; we shall have people stirring very early this morning to pre∣pare for the Wedding else.

La. Sha.
Ha! who's that?
Isab. and Theo. creep softly into Belforts and Doubty's Chamber.
I am terribly afraid: Heaven!
what's this! the Chamber door open'd, and I saw a woman
〈◊〉 in, I am enraged, I'le distrub 'em.

Isabella, The dosia, Bellfort, Doubty disguis'd, Parson and Servants in the Chamber.

Isab.

You see we are women of words, and women of courage too, that dare venture upon this dreadful business.

Bell.

Welcom, more welcom than all the Treasures of the Sea and Land.

Doubt.

More welcom than a Thousand Angels.

Theo.

Death! we are undone, one knocks.

La. Shack, knocks.
Bell.

Curse on 'em; keep the door fast.

La. Sha.

Gentlemen open the door for Heavens sake, quickly.

Isab.

Open it, we are ruined else; wee'l into the Bed, you know what you have to do.

They cover themselves. Enter La. Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

Gentlemen, the House is alarm'd with Witches, and I saw two come into this Chamber, and come to give you notice.

Bell.

Here are none but whom you see.

Doubt.

They come invisibly then; for we had our eyes on the door.

La. Sha.

Are they not about the Bed somewhere? Let's search.

Bell.

There are no Witches there, I can assure you.

La. Sha.

Look a little, I warrant you.

Sir Jeffery knocks without.
Sir Ieff.

Open the door quickly, quickly, the Witches are there.

La. Sha.

Oh! my Husband, I am ruin'd if he sees me here.

Doubt.

Put out the Candles,

He enters, and stumbles up∣on the Servant.
lye down before the door.

Page  58
Sir Ieff.

Oh! Oh! I have broken my knees; this is the Witches doing: I have loast my Wife too: lights, lights there.

La. Sha.

Ile not stay here.

She creeps out softly.
Isab.

Here's no staying for us.

Theo.

Quickly, go by the Wall.

They steal on.
Sir Ieff.

For Heavens sake let's into the Gallery and call for lights.

Bell.

A Curse upon this Fellow and all ill luck.

Doubt.

Hell take him, the Ladies are gone too.

ACT. V.

Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

WHat unfortunate disapointments have we met with!

Doubt.

All ill luck has conspired against us this night.

Bell.

We have been near being discover'd, which would have ruin'd us.

Doubt.

And we have but this night to do our business in; if we dispatch not this af∣fair now, all will come out to morrow.

Bell.

I tremble to think on't; sure the surprise the Ladies were in before, has fright∣ed 'em from attempting again.

Doubt.

I rather think that they have met with people, in the Gallery, that have prevented 'em.

Bell.

Now I reflect, I am apt to think so too; for they seem to be very hearty in this matter. Once more go to their Chamber.

Doubt.

Go you in then to ours.

Bell. goes in.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

Hold, Mr. Doubty.

Doubt.

A Curse on all damn'd luck, is she here?

Aside.

Sweet Madam, is it you! I have been watching, for Bellfort's sleeping ever since.

La. Sha.

I venture hard, since Sir Ieffery miss'd me out of Bed, I had much a-do to asten an excuse upon him.

Doubt.

I am so affraid of Bellforts coming, Madam, he was here but even now: The hazard of your honour puts me in an Agony.

La. Sha.

O dear Sir, put out the Candle, and he can never discover any thing; be∣sides, we will retire into you Room.

Doubt.

Death, what shall I do now.

She puts out the Candle.
La. Sha.

And since it is dark, and you cannot see my Blushes, I must tell you, you are a very ill guesser; for I my self was the person I discrib'd.

Doubt.

Oh Madam! you raille me, I will never believe it while I live; it is impos∣sible.

La. Sha.

I'le swear 'tis true: Let us withdraw into that Room, or we shall be dis∣cover'd.

Page  63 Oh Heaven, I am undone, my Husband with a light run into your Cham∣ber.

Doubt.

Tis a happy deliverance.

Aside.
Ex. Doubty.
La. Sha.

I'le counterfeit walking in my sleep.

Enter Sir Jeffery with a Light.
Sir Ieff.

Where is this Wife of mine? She told me she fell asleep in the Closet, at her Prayers, when I mist her before; and I found her there at my coming back to my Chamber: But now she is not there I am sure. Ha! here she is. Ha, what is she blind! she takes no notice of me! how gingerly she treads!

La. Sha.

Oh! stand off—who's that would kill my dear Sir Ieffery? stand off I say.

Sir Ieff.

Oh Lord, kill me! where! ha! here's nobody.

La. Sha.

Oh! the Witch, the Witch, oh she pulls the cloaths off me. Hold me, dear Sir Ieffery, hold me.

Sir Ieff.

On my Conscience and Soul she walks in her sleep.

La. Sha.

Oh, all the Cloaths are off, cover me, oh I am so cold!

Sir Ieff.

Good lack a day, it is so! my Dear, my Lady.

La. Sha.

Hah, hah.

She opens her eyes and shriks.
Sir Ieff.

Wake I say, wake.

La. Sha.

Ah.

Sir Ieff.

'Tis I my dear.

La. Sha.

Oh Heav'n! Sir Ieffery, where am I?

Sir Ieff.

Here in the Gallery.

La. Sha.

Oh! how came I here?

Sir Ieff.

Why, thou didst walk in thy sleep; good lack a day, I never saw the like.

La. Sha.

In my sleep say you! oh Heav'n! I have catcht my death. Let's to Bed, and tell me the story there.

Sir Ieff.

Come on. Ha, ha, ha, this is such a jest! walk in your sleep! gods∣niggs, I shall so laugh at this in the morning.

La. Sha.

This is a happy come off.

Aside
Enter Isabella and Theodosia.
Isab.

If we do not get into this Chamber suddenly, we are undone: They are up in the Offices already.

Theo.

Never have adventures been so often disapointed, in so short a time.

Isab.

There's no body in the Gallery now, we may go.

Theo.

Hast then, and let us fly thither.

Isab. Theo.

Ah, what's this?

Iust as they are entring, Chaplain and Su∣san enter with a Candle.
Susan.

Oh! the Witches, the Witches.

Smerk.

Oh mercy upon us, where is this Candle?

So let me tell you, 'Twas no Witch; they were the two young Ladies, that frighted my dear beautious Love so; and I'le acquaint their Parents with it I'le assure you.

Susan.

This is strange, what could they have to do at this time o'th' night!

Page  58〈1 page duplicate〉Page  63〈1 page duplicate〉
Page  62
Smerk.

I know not. But I well know what I have to do. I am inflam'd beyond all measure, with thy heavenly beauty.

Susan.

Alas, my beauty is but moderate; yet none of the worst, I must needs say.

Smerk.

'Tis blasphemy to say so; your eyes are bright like two Twin-Stars; your Face is an Ocean of beauty; and your Nose a Rock arising from it, on which my heart did split; Nothing but Ruby and Pearl is about thee; I must blazon thee by Jewels, thy beauty is of a Noble rank.

Susan.

Good lack, what fine language is this! well, 'tis a rare thing to be a Schollar.

Smerk.

'Tis a miracle I should not think her hansome before this day; she is an Angel! Isabella is a Dowdy to her. You have an unexhausted mine of beauty. Dear Mrs. Susan cast thy Smiles upon me, and let me labour in thy Quarry: Love makes me Eloquent and Allegorical.

Susan.

Sweet Sir, you oblige me very much by your fine Language; but I vow I understand it not: yet methinks it goes very prettily.

Smerk.

I will unfold my hear unto thee; let me approach thy lip, Oh fragrant! fragrant! Arabia felix is upon this lip.

Susan.

Ha! upon my lip, what's that? I have nothing, I have no pimple, nor any thing upon my lip, not I.

Smerk.

Sweet Innocence—I will be plain; I am inflam'd within, and would injoy thy lovely Body in sweet dalliance.

Susan.

How Sir! do you pretend to be a Divine, and would commit this sin! know, I will preserve my Honour and my Conscience.

Smerk.

Conscience? why so you shall, as long as our minds are united. The Casu∣ists will tell you, it is a Marriage in foro 〈◊〉 and besides, the Church of Rome allows Fornication: And truly it is much practis'd in our 〈◊〉 too. Let us retire, come, come.

Susan.

Stand off, I defie you: your Casuists are Knaves, and you are a Papist, you are a foul voluptuous Swn, and I will never smile on you more. Farewell.

Smerk.

Hold, hold, Dear, ••autious Creature, I am at thy mercy: Must I marry then? speak. Prethee spare me that, and I'le do any thing.

Susan.

Stand off, I scorn thy Love; thou art a pitious Fellow.

Smerk.

Dear Mrs. Susan hear me; let us but do the thing, and then I'le marry thee.

Susan.

I'le see thee hang'd e're I'le trust thee, or e're a Whoremaster of you all. No, I have been serv'd that trick too often already, I thank you.

Aside.
Smerk.

Must I then Marry?

Enter Isabella and Theodosia disguised, with Vizors like Witches.
Isab.
Yonders the Chaplin and Susan;
But this disguise will fright 'em.
Theo.
Let's on, we must venture.
Susan.
Oh! the Witches, the Witches.
Smerk.
Oh! fly, fly.
Ex. Susan and Chaplin.
Page  63Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.
What shriek was that?
Doubt.
We have been several times alarm'd with these Noises.
Bell.
Here's othing but madness and confusion in this Family.
Isab.
Heav'n! who are these whispering?
Doubt.
Who's this I have hold on, heav'n grant it be not my Lady?
Theo.
'Tis I, 'tis Theodosia.
Doubt.
'Tis lucky—where is your fair Companion?
Theo.
Here.
Doubt.
And here's my Friend—
Bell.
A thousand Blessings on you.
Priest.
Phoo are dese?
Enter Priest with a Candle.
Bell.

Heav'n what's this, the damn'd Priest? These disguises will serve our turn yet: oh, Sir we are haunted with Witches here, run in quickly for some Holy-water.

Priest.

I vill, I vill, let me alone.

Ex. Priest.
Bell.

Now in, in quickly.

Ex. Bell. Doubt. Isab. and Theo.
Enter Priest with Holy-water.
Priest.

Phaar is dese Vitches? phaar are dey? hah, dey are Wanisht for feare of me, I vill put dish down in dis plaash for my defence; what vill I do now? I have maade Fornication vid dis Vitch or Succubus indeed; when I do go home, I vill be after being absolv'd for it, and den I vill be as Innocent as de child unborne by my Shoule. I have hangd my self all round vid reliques indeed, and de Sprights and de Vitches cannot hurt me fait and trot.—

Enter Mother Dickenson.
M. Dick.

My Dear, I come to visit thee again.

Priest.

Phaat is here, de Vitch agen does come to haunt me, Benidi•••e, out upon dee dou damn'd Vitch, vat dosht dou come upon me for? I defy dee, a plaague taak dee indeed.

M. Dick.

I am no Witch, I am a poor Innocent woman, and a Tenant of Sir Ed∣wards, and one that loves you dearly.

Priest.

Dou plaagy Vitch, let me come unto my holy vater, and I vill pay dee off indeed; hoh, by my shoulvaation 'tis all flown away—oh dou damnd Vitch, I vill hang dee indeed.

M. Dick.

Pretdee be kinder, my Dear, and kiss me.

Priest.

Out, out, kiss dee—a plaague taake dee Ioy▪ stand off upon me, by my shoul∣vaation, I vill kiss de dogs Arse shaving dy presence, before I vill be after kishing dee.

M. Dick.

Be not so unkind to thy own Dear. Thou didst promise me Marriage, thou know'st, and I come to claim thee for my Husband.

Page  62
Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo, Marriage, Vat vill I Marry vid a Vitch, by my shoule—Conjuro e, fuge, fuge.

M. Dick.

Do not think to put me off with your Latine; for do you hear Sir, you promised me Marriage, and I will have you.

Priest.

Oh phaat vill I do? Vat vill I do?

M. Dick.

This Morning I will Marry you, I'le stay no longer, you are mine.

Priest

By my shoule Joy I vill tell you, I am a Romish Priest, and I cannot Maarry. What would you have now?

M. Dick.

You shall turn Protestant then, for I will have you.

Priest.

By St. Paatrick phaat does she say? Oh damn'd Protestant Vitch. I vill speak shivilly, Madam, I vill tell dee now, if dou vill repair unto dine own House, by my shoulwaation I vill come unto dee to morrow, and I vill give dee satisfaaction indeed.

Aside,
As soon as she does get home, fait and trot I vill bring de Constable, and hang her indeed.

M. Dick.

I'le not be put off, Ile have you now.

She lays hold on him.
Priest.

By my Shoul I vill not go, I vill hang dee for a Vitch; and now I do appre∣hend dee upon daat. Help, help.

Enter Tom. Sha. and Clod.

I have taaken a Vitch ineeed: Help, help.

M. Dick.

I am your Wife.

Priest.

Help, help, I have taaken a Vitch.

Tom. Sha.

Ha! what's here? one of the Witches by th'Mess.

Priest.

Ay, by my Shoule Ioy, I have taaken her.

Tom. Sha.

Nay, byr Lady, whoo has taken yeow by yeowr leave.

Clod.

We han taken a Witch too; lay hawd on her.

M. Dick.
Deber, Deber, little Martin, little
Martin, where art thou little
Master? where art thou little Master?
Priest.

Dost dou mutter? By my shoule I vill hang dee Ioy; a plaague taak dee indeed.

M. Dick.

Thou art a Popish Priest, and I will hang thee.

Priest.

I am Innocent as the Child unborn, I vill taak de Oades, and bee—

M. Dick.

Marmot, Mamilion, Rouncy, Puckling, little Master, have you left me all?

Clod.

We han got another Witch, who's strongly gaurded and Watched i'th stabo.

Tom. Sha.

Come let's hale her thether: We cou'd not get into the hawse till naw, we came whoame so late at night.

Priest.

Come let us taake de Vitch away: I vill hang dee Joy—a plaague taake dee fait.

M. Dick.

Am I o'retaken then—I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Tom. Sha.

Let us carry her thether, come along.

Priest.

Pull her away—we will be after hanging of you Fait and Trot.

Ex.
Page  65 Enter Sir Timothy, and Servant, with a Candle.
Sir Tim.

I could not rest to night for the Joy of being Marryed to day: 'Tis a pret∣ty Rogue—she's somewhat Cross—but I warrant her she will love me, when she has tryed me once.

Serv.

Why would you rise so soon? 'Tis not day yet.

Sir Tim.

'Tis no matter, I cannot sleep man, I am to be Married Sirrah.

Serv.

Ay, and therefore you should have slept now, that you might watch the bet∣ter at night: For 'twill be uncivil to sleep much upon your Wedding Night.

Sir Tim.

Uncivil, ay that it will—very uncivil: I wont sleep a wink. call my new Brother-in-Law: Oh here he is, he can't sleep neither.

Enter Harfo•• and his Man with a Candle.
Yo. Har.

Set down the Candle; and go bid the Groom get the Horses ready, I must away to the Powts.

Sir Tim.

Oh Brother, good morrow to you; what a Devil's this—what booted! are you taking a Journey upon your wedding day?

Yo. Har.

No, but I will not lose my Hawking this Morning; I will come back time enough to be Married Brother.

Sir Tim.

Well, breeding's a fine thing—this is a strange ill-bred Fellow! what Hawk upon your Wedding day! I have other game to fly at—Oh how I long for night— why my Sister will think you care not for her.

Yo. Har.

aside,
No more—I don't very much a pox on Marrying, I love a Hawk, and a Dog, and a Horse, better than all the Women in the World.
[To him.
Why I can Hawk and Marry too: She shall see I love her: For I will leave off Hawking before Ten a Clock.

Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir, I cannot come at the Horses, for the People have taken a brace of Witches, and they are in the stable under a strong guard, that will let no body come at 'em.

Yo. Har.

Uds flesh, I shall have my Horses bewitch'd, and lose 500 Pounds worth of Horse Flesh.

Sir Tim.

No, no, they can do no hurt—when they are taken the Devil leaves 'em— Let's go see 'em—

Yo. Har.

What shall we do?

Their men taking up the Candles, 〈◊〉 Spirits fly away with 'em.
Sir Tim.

Let us stand up close against the Wall.

Yo. Har.

Listen, here are the Witches, what will become of us?

Enter Isabella, Theodosia, Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

A Thousand blessings light on thee my Dear Pretty Witch.

Sir Tim.

O Lord! there's the Devil too Courting of a Witch.

Doubt.

This is the first Night I ever liv'd, thou Dearest, Sweetest Creature.

Yo. Har.

Oh! sweet quoth a, that's more than I can say of my self at this time.

Page  66
Isab.

We will go and be decently prepared for the Wedding that's Expected:

Theo.

Not a word of discovery till the last; creep by the Wall. Ha—who's here!

Isab.

Where?

Yo. Har.

Oh good Devil don't hurt us, we are your humble servants.

Bell.

In▪ in quickly—

Ex. Bellfort and Doubty.
Sir Tim.

Lights, Lights, Help, Help, Murder, Murder, Oh good Devil dont hurt me; I am a Whoremaster.

Yo. Har.

And I am a Drunkard; Help, Help, Murder.

Ex. Ladies.
Enter Tom. Shacklehead with a Candle, and Tgue O. Devilly.
Tom. Sha.

What's the Matter?

Thunder softly here.
Priest.

Phaat is de matter Joy?

Sir Tim.

O Nuncle! here have been Devils and Witches: They have flown away with our Candles, and put us in fear of our lives.

Thunder and Lighten.
Tom. Sha.

Here's a great Storm Arising—what can be the matter! the Haggs are at Warck by'r Lady, and they come to me by'th' mass, I ha getten my brawd Sward: Ay•• mow 'em down, ged faith will I.

Priest.

Be not affraid, I vill taake a Caare, and I vill conjure down this Tempest fait an bee.

Thunders.
Tom. Sha.

Flsh that Thunder Clap shook the hawe, Candle burns blew too.

Sir Tim.

Death, it goes out, what will become of us?

Tom. Sha.

An the Witches come, by'r Lady Ayst mow 'em down with my brawd Sward I warrant o'—I have shot one Witch lying to Neeght already.

Enter M. Hargrave, M. Madge, and two Witches more; they mew and spit like Cats, and fly at 'em, and scratch 'em.
Yo. Har.

What's this! we are set upon by Cats.

Sir Tim.

They are Witches in the shape of Cats, what shall we do?

Priest.
Phaat will I do? Cat, Cat, Cat, Oh, oh.
Conjuro vos ••gite, fugite. Cacodaemnes, Cats, Cats.
They Scrath all their Faces till the Blood runs about 'em. He cuts at them.
Tom. Sha.

Have at ye all, I ha Mauld some of 'em by'th' mass, they are fled, but I am plagneily scratcht.

The Witches screek and run away.
Priest.

Dey ware affraid of my Charmes, and de sign of de Cross did maake dem fly—but dy have sratcht a great deale upon my faash for all daat.

Yo. Har.

Mine is all of a gore blood.

Sir Tim.

And mine too—that ths damn'd Witches should disfigure my Counte∣nance upon my Wedding day.

Yo. Har.

O Lord, what a Tempest's this?

Thunder▪
Page  67 Enter Sir Jeffery with a Light.
Sir Ieff.

Heaven! What a Storm is this! The Witches and all their Imps are at work. Who are these? hah!—your Faces are all bloody.

Sir Tim.

We have been frighted out of our Wits; we have been assaulted by Witches in the shape of Cats, and they have scratcht us most ruefully.

Priest.

But I did fright dem away, by my Shoule.

Sir Ieff.

Why you are as much mauld as any one, nay, they are at work—I never remember such Thunder and Lightning; bid 'em ring out all the Bells at the Church.

Priest.

I vill* Baptize all your Bells for you Joy, and then they vill stop the Tempest indeed, and not before; I tell you, oh, Baptized Bells are braave things fait.

Tom. Sha.

Flesh, Christen Bells!

Sir Tim.

Yes, I believe the great Bell at Oxford was Christen'd Tom.

Yo. Har.

And that at Lincoln has a Christen name too.

Priest.

I tell de Joy, I vill carry de hosht and shome reliques abroad, and we vill get a black Chicken and maak one of de Vitches throw it into de Aire, and it vill maak stop upon de Tempest.

Sir Ieff.

Why, all the Authors say, * sacrificing a black Chicken so, will raise a Tempest.

Tho. Sha.

What's here a haund! uds Flesh, you see I have cut off a haund of one of the Haggs.

Sir Ieff.

Let's see, this is a lucky evidence; keep it and see what Witch it will fit, and 'tis enough to hang her.

Priest.

The Storm begins to stay; I did shay shome Aves, and part of de Gospd of St. Iohn, and in fine, fugiat Tempestas, and it does go away upon it indeed.

Tho. Sha.

We may trace her by her Blood.

Sir Tim.

But hark you, What's the reason my Hawks wanted their Pidgeons: uds bud I shall remember you for it; you think to live like a Lubber here and do nothing.

Tom. Sha.

Peace, I was drunken, peace good Sir Timothy, Ayst do no more so.

Sir Ieff.

Methinks all on a sudden the Storm is laid.

Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir, the Constable and the rest of us have taken the whole flock of Witches: but they fell upon us like Cats first; but we have beaten 'em into Witches, and now we have 'em fast.

Sir Ieff.

So now, their Power's gone when they are taken, let's go see 'em.

Yo. Har.

I'le wash my face and away a Hawking, now the Storm's over, 'tis broad day.

Sir Tim.

I will call up Sir Edward; Musick, and wake the two Brides with a Sere∣nade this morning.

Ex. Omnia.
Page  68 Enter Sir Edward and his man with a Light.
Sir Edw.

It has been a dreadful Storm, and strangely laid o'th' suddain, this is a ioyful day to me: I am now in hopes to strengthen and preserve my Family—my poor Daughter has the worst on't, but she is discreet; and will mould Sir Timothy to what she pleases: he is good natur, , and he loves her, and his Estate's beyond Ex∣ception.— Go call my Son to me, bid him rise, 'tis day, put out the Candle now.

Ex. Servant.
This Son, I out of Duty must provide for; for there's a Duty from a Father to make what he begets as happy as he can; and yet this Fool makes me unhappy as he can: but that I call Philosophy to my aid, I could not bear him.

Enter Young Harfort and Servant.

How now, your Face scrach't! what were you drunk last night, and have been at Cuffs?

Yo. Har.

No, Sir Timothy, I, and Tegue O Devilly, and Tom. Shaklehead were as∣saulted by Witches in the Shapes of Cats; and Tom. Shaklehead has cut off one of the Cats hands; and all the Witches are taken, and are in the Stable under a strong Guard.

Sir Edw.

What foolish wild story is this? you have been drunk in Ale, that makes such foggy Dreams.

Yo. Har.

Sbud Sir, the story is true, you'l find it so.

Sir Edw.

How now! what makes you booted upon your Wedding-day?

Yo. Har.

Why, I am going a Hawking this morning, and I'le come home time e∣nough to be marry'd.

Sir Edw.

Thou most incorrigible Ass, whom no precept or example can teach com∣mon sence to, that would have made thee full of Joy at thy approaching happines; it would have filld thy mind, there could have been no room for any other obiect; to have a good Estate setled upon thee, and to be married to a woman of that Beauty, and that Wit and Wisdom, I have not known her equal, would have transported any one but such a clod of Earth as thou art: thou art an excrement broken from me, not my Son.

Yo. Har.

Why Sir, I am transported; but can't one be transported with Hawking too? I love it as I love my life, would you have a Gentleman neglect his sports?

Sir Edw.

None but the vilest men will make their sports their business; their books, their friends, their kindred and their country should concern 'em: such drones serve not the ends of their Creation, and should be lopt of from the rest of men.

Yo. Har.

A man had better dye than leave his sport; tell me of books, I think theres nothing in 'em for my part; and for Musick I had as live set in the stocks, as hear your fine songs; I love a Bagpipe well enough, but there's no Musick like a ••eep Mouth'd Hound.

Sir Edw.

Thou most excessive blockhead, thou art enough to imbitter all my sweets; thou art a Wen belonging to me, and I shall do well to cut thee off: but do you hear Fool, Page  69 go and dress your self, and wait upon your Bride, or by Heaven I will disinherit you. This is the Critical day, on which your happiness or misery depends; Think on that.

Ex. Sir Edward.
Yo. Har.

Was ever so devilish a Father to make one neglect one's sport, because he's no sports-man himself; A Pox on Marrying, could not I Hawk and Marry too? well I am resolv'd I'le steal out after I am Marry'd.

Enter Sir Timothy and Musick.
Sir Tim.

Come on: Place your selves just by her Chamber and play—and sing that Song I love so well.

Song.
My Dear, my sweet, and most delicious Bride
Awake, and see thine own Dear waiting at thy Dore;
Surely she cannot sleep for thinking of me, poor Rogue.
Isabela

above.
Who's this disturbs my rest! is it thou? I thought 'twas some Im∣pertinent Coxcomb or other; dost thou hear, carry away that scurvy Face from me as soon as possibly thou canst.

Sir Tim.

Well, you have a pleasant way with you, you'l never leave your pretty humors, I see that.

Isab.

Ha! Thou hast been scratching with Wenches, was not thy face ugly e∣nough, but thou must disfigure it more than Nature has done? one would have thought that had don't enough.

Sir Tim.

Faith thou art a pretty wag, Thou It never leave thy Roguery; Wenches, why 'twas done by Witches, who in the shape of Cats, had like to have kil'd us: your Brother, my Uncle, and the Irish man are all as bad as I.

Isab.

Prethee begon, and mend thy Face, I cannot bear it.

Sir Tim.

Ay, ay, it's no matter, I'le come into thy Chamber, I must be familar with you—

Isab.

And I will be very free with you; you are a Nauseous Fool and you shall ne∣ver come into my Chamber. S life, would your begin you Reign before you are Mar∣ry'd? no, I'le dominere now—begon.

Ex. Isabela.
Sir Tim.

Nay, faith I'le not leave you so, you little Cross Rogue you; open the dore there, let me in, let me in I say.

Theodosia comes out in a Weitches habit and a Vizr.
Theo.

Who's that? Thou art my love, come into my arms.

Sir Tim.

Oh the Witch! the Witch! help,

He runs out, Theodosia retires.
Enter Sir Ieffery, Lady, Tegue O Devilly, Tom. Shacklehead, Clod, and Sir Iefferies Clerk.
Sir Ieff.

So, Now thou art come, my Dear, I'le dispatch the Witches, they are all taken and Guarded in the stable: Clod, bid 'em bring em all hither.

La. Sha.

That's well, are they caught? let 'em come before us, we will order 'em.

Page  70
Sir Ieff.

I would do nothing without thee my Dear.

Priest.

Here Lady Taake some1 Conjur'd shalt and put upon dee and palme, and shome Holy-Wax daat I did bring for dish occaasion, and de Witches will not hurt dy Laadyship.

La. Sha.

Thank you Sir.

Priest.

I did give dy Husband shome before Joy, but I will speak a word unto you all, let every one2 spit three times upon deir Boshomes, and Cross dmselves, it is braave upon dis occaasion.

Sir Ieff.

It shall be done.

They all do it.
Priest.

Daat is very well now.

Let no Vitch3 touch no part about you, and let 'em come vid deir Arshes before deir Faashes, phen dey come to Confession or Examinaation. We have eye-biting Witches in Eerland▪ that kill vid deir Countenance.

Sir Ieff.

This is a very Learned and Wise man.

La. Sha.

He is a great man indeed, we are nothing to him.

Priest.

You vill shee now, now I will speak unto dem, here dey come; I shay bring their Arshes before deir Faashes.

They enter with the Witches.
Tom. Sha.

Bring 'em backward, thus.

Sir Ieff.

You Clod, and you Tom. Shacklehead have sworn sufficiently against the Witch Spencer, and so has that Country Fellow.

M. Spen.

I am an Innocent Woman, and they have broken my arm with a shot, Rogues, Villains, Murderers.

Priest.

Dey are angry, daat is a certain sign of a Vitch; and dey cannot cry,4 daat is anoder shine; lok to 'em dey doe not put spittle upon deir Faashes to maake beleife daat dey do weep: Yet Bodin dosh shay, daat a Vitch can cry three drops vid her right Eye, I tell you.

Sir Ieff.

Have you searcht 'em all as I bid you Woman?

Woman.

Yes an't please your Worship, and they have all great Biggs and Teates in many parts, except Mother Madge, and hers are but small ones.

La. Sha.

It is enough, make their Mittimus, and send 'em all to Goal.

Witches.
I am Innocent, I am Innocent,
Save my life, I am no Witch,
I am Innocent, save my life.
Priest.

Ven dey do shay dey are Innocent, and deshire to shave deir lives, 'tis a sher∣tain shigne of a Vitch fait and trot.

Woman.

Besides, this Woman Margaret Demdike by name, threatned to be revenged on me, and my Cow has been suckt dry ever since, and my Child has had fits.

M. Demd.

She lies, she lies, I am Innocent.

Tom. Sha.

This is she that had a hand cut off, it fits her to a hair.

Sir Ieff.

Tis enough: Tis enough.

M. Harg.

Must I be hang'd for having my hand cut off? I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Page  71
Constak.

Did not you say to my Wife you would be reveng'd on me? and has not she ben struck with pain in her rump-bone ever since? and did not my Sow cast her farrow last Night?

Harg.

You should send your Brother to Goal for cutting my hand off.

Tom. Sha.

What for cutting a Cats hand off? you were a Cat when I cut it off.

Tho. O. Georges.

An't please your Worship this Woman, Gamer Dickinson, Who threp∣ed: and threped, and aw to becaw'd me last Neeght i'th' Lone, and who said he woud be reveng'd on me; and this Morning at four a Clock Butter would not come, nor the Ale warck a bit, who has bewicht it.

Sir Ieff.

I have heard enough, send 'em all to the Goal.

La. Sha.

You must never give a Witch any Milk, Butter, Cheese, or any thing that comes from the Cows.

Priest.

Now dou damn'd Vitch, I vill be after sheeing dee hang'd indeed, I did taake her by my shoule—

Dick.

I am a poor Innocent Woman, I am abused, and I am his wife an't please your worship: He had knowledg of me in a Room in the Gallery, and did promise me Marriage.

Sir Ieff.

Hah! what's this?

Priest.

By my Shalvaation I am innocent as de Child unborn, I speak it before Hea∣v'n, I did never make fornicaation in my life.

Aside.
Vid my Nostrills: dere is a mental reservaation, I am too subtil for dem, indeed gra. To them. It is malice upon me.

La. Sha.

There is something in this story, but I dare not speak of it.

Sir Ieff.

I do believe you Mr. O Devilly.

Dicken.

Besides, he is a Popish Priest.

Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo, a Priest, I vill taake de Oades Fait and trot; I did never taake. Holy Orders since I was bore.

Aside.
In Iamaica. Dere is anoder Mentall reservaation too; and it is Lawful.

Constab.

Indeed Sir, I have been told he is a Popish Priest, and has been at Rome.

Priest.

I speak it in de presence of all de Saints, daat I never did see Rome in all my life, Vid de eyes of a Lyon,

Aside.
Dere was anoder by my shoule.

Sir Ieff.

Take away the Witches, there is their Mittimus, carry 'em all to Lancaster. Witches. I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Page  72
Constab.

Come on you Hags, now your Master the Devil has left you.

Ex. Const. and Witches.
Sir Ieff.

Sir you must excuse me, I must give you the Oathes upon this Information.

Priest.

And by my shoule Joy, I will taak dem and twenty or thirty more Oades if dou dosht please indeed, I vill take 'em all to serve dee, Fait and Trot.

Sir Ieff.

Come into the Hall, there's the Statute Book.

La. Sha.

I will go in and see if the Brides be Ready.

Enter Sir Edward, Bellfort and Doubty.
Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, This day I am to do the great Duty of a Father in provi∣ding for the Settlement of my Children; this day we will dedicate to Mirth, I hope you will partake with me in my Joy.

Bell.

I should have had a greater share in any Joy that could affect so worthy a man, had not your Daughter been the only Person, I ever saw, whom I could have fixt my love upon; but I am unhappy that I had not the honour to know you till it was to late.

Sir Edw.

This had been a great honour to me, and my Daughter, and I am sorry I did not know it sooner, and assure you it is some trouble upon me.

Doubt.

How like a Gentleman he takes it, but I have an Ass, Nay two, to deal with.

Enter Lady Shacklehead, and Isabella, and Theodosia.
La. Sha.

Good morrow Brother, our brace of Brides are ready, where are the lusty Bridegrooms?

Sir Edw.

Heav'n grant this may prove a happy day.

La. Sha.

Mr. Doubty, was ever such an unlucky Night as we have had.

Doubt.

'Tis happy to me who was assur'd of the love of one, I love much more than all the Joys on Earth.

La. Sha.

Now you make me blush, I swear it is a little too much.

Bell.

Ladies, I wish you much joy of this day.

Doubt.

Much happiness to you.

Enter Sir Ieffery, and Tegue O Devilly.
Sir Ieff.

Brother, good morrow to you; This is a happy day, our families will soon be one: I have sent all the Witches to the Goal.

Sir Edw.

Had you Evidence enough?

Sir Ieff.

Ay, too much; this Gentleman was accused for being a Papist and a Priest, and I have given him the Oathes, and my Certificate, and on my Conscience he is a very good Protestant.

Priest.

It is no matter, I did taak de Oades, and I am a very good Protestant upon occasion, Fait.

Sir Edw.

Say you so? between you and I, how many Sacraments are there?

Priest,

How many? by my shoule dere are sheven; how many would would dere be ink Page  73 you Hob? y my shoule I have a dispensaation, indeed I am to 〈◊〉 for 'em fait I am.

Aside.
Sir Edw.

So here are the Bridegrooms.

Enter Sir Timothy, and Yo. Harfort, Servant.
Sir Tim.

Oh my Dear pretty Bride, let me kiss thy hand, how joyful am I, that I shall have my Dear within these arms! ah! now the little Rogue can smile upon me.

Yo. Har.

Cousin good morrow to you, I am glad to see you, how do you do this Morning?

Theo.

Never better.

Yo. Har.

God be thanked, I am very glad on't.

Sir Edw.

Is not the Parson come yet?

Serv.

Yes Sir, he is very busy at his Breakfast in the buttery: And as soon as he has finisht his Pipe and his Tankard—he will wait on you: he has Marry'd one Cupple already, The Chaplin and Mrs. Susan.

Sir Edw.

How!

Serv.

'Tis true.

Sir Edw.

I am sorry for't, that Chaplin is a Rascal—I have found him out, and will turn him away—

Enter another Servant.
Serv.

Sir, here are some of your Tennants and Country men come to be merry with you, and have brought their Piper and desire to daunce before you.

Enter several Tennants, and Ccuntry Fellows.
Tennants.

We are come to wish your Worship, my Young Master and Lady Joy of this happy day.

Sir Edw.

You are kindly welcom Neighbours, this is happiness indeed, to see my Friends, and all my loving Neighbours thus about me.

All.

Heavens bless your good Worship.

Sir Edw.

These honest men are the strength and sinnews of our Country; such men as these are uncorrupted, and while they stand to us we fear no Papists, nor French invasion; this day we will be merry together.

Clod.

Ayst make bold to Daunce for joy.

Sir Edw.

Prethee do—

Clod Dances.
Go bid the Parson come in, we will dispatch this business here before you all.

Isab.

Hold, there needs no Parson.

Sir Edw.

What say you?

Sir Ieff.

How!

Isab.

We are Marry'd already, and desire your blessing.

Sir Edw.

It is impossible.

Bell. Doubt. Isab. and Theo. kneel.
La. Sha.

Heav'n! what's this I see?

Page  74
Sir Ieff.

Theives! Robbers! Murderers of my honour, I'le hang that Fellow.

Sir Edw.

What pageantry is this? explain your self.

Sir Tim.

What a Devil do they mean now!

Bell.

The truth is Sir, we are Marry'd; we found you Fathers were too far ingag'd to break off: I 〈◊〉 forced us to this way, and nothing else can be a fit excuse.

Smerk.

We have designed this ever since last Summer, and any other but a private way, had certainly prevented it. Let excess of love excuse our fault, Sir Ieffery, I will exceed what stlement was made upon your Daughter.

Bell.

An! I will, Sir, do the same Right to yours.

Sir Ieff.

Flesh and Heart—I'le Murder her.

〈◊〉

Hold Sir, she is mine now; I beseech you moderate your passion.

La. Sha.

Oh vile Creature; I'le tear her Eyes out.

〈◊〉

Forbear good Madam: What cannot be redrest must be past by—

La. Sha.

Thou worst of Theives, thou knowest I can ne're pass it by.

Sir Ieff.

Sir Edward, you may do what you will, but I'le go in and meditat revenge.

La. Sha.

And I—

Ex. Sir Ieffery and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Hold, hold me, I am bloody minded, and shall commit Murder else; my honour, my honour, I must kill him, hold me fast, or I shall kill him.

Yo. Har.

For my part Cousin, I wish you Joy, for I am resolved to hunt and hawk, and course as long as I live—

Sir Tim.

Cruel Woman, I did not think you would have serv'd me so; I shall un mad, and hang my self an walk.

Priest.

Now phaar is de soleedity of all dish—phy all ish paasht▪ and what vil you say now? You must taak shome Consolaation unto you—Dou must Fornicaate vid dy Moders Maid sharvants; and daat is all one by my shoule.

Sir Edw.

Hold, Gentlemen, who Marry'd you?

Bell.

This Gentleman, who is under his gray Coat, my Parson.

Sir Edw.

'Tis something unhospitable.

Bell.

I hope Sir, you'l not have cause to repent it; had there been any other way for me to have escap't perpetual misery, I had not taken this.

Sir Edw.

But you Sir have most Iniurd me.

Doubt.

I beg a thousand pardons, Tho' I must have perisht if I had not done it.

Theo.

It is no injury Sir, I never could have lov'd your Son; we must have been unhappy.

Isab.

And I had been miserable with Sir Timothy.

Yo. Har.

To say truth, I did not much care for her neither, I had rather not marry.

Sir Edw.

Eternal Blockhead! I will have other means to preserve my Name: Gentlemen, your are men of ample Fortunes and worthy Families—Sir I wish you happiness with my Daughter, take her.

Bell.

You have given me more than my own Father did, then life and fortune.

Isab.

You are the best of Fathers and of men.

Sir Edw.

I will endeavour to appease Sir Ieffery and my Lady.

Doubt.

Your are Generous beyond expression Sir.

Page  75 Enter Chaplin and Susan.
Chaplin.

Sir, I hope your Worship will pardon me, I am Marry'd to Mrs. Susan.

Sir Edw.

You are a Villain, that has made love to my Daughter, and corrupted my Son.

Chap.

Have they told all, I am ruin'd? good Sir, continue me your Chaplin, and I will Do and Preach whatever you command me.

Sir Edw.

I'le not have a Divine with so flexible a Conscience, there shall be no such Vipers in my Family; I will take care you never shall have Orders. But she has serv'd me well, and I will give her a Farm of 40. l. per annum to Plow: Go Sir, it was an Office you were born to.

Priest.

Did I not bid de Fornicaate? and dou didst Marry Joy; if dou hadst not maade Marriage, I vould have maade dee a Catholick, and preferred dee to Saint Omers, Dey should have bred dee for one of deir Witnesses fait.

Enter a Messenger.
Mess.

I must beg your pardon Sir, I have a warrant against this Kelly, Alias Tegue O Devilly—he is accus'd for being in the Plot.

Sir Edw.

My house is no refuge for Traytors Sir.

Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo! by my shalvaation dere is no Plot, and I vill not go vid you. Dou art a damn'd Fanaatick, if dou dosht shay dere is a Plot. Dou art a Presbiterian Dogg.

Mess.

No striving, come a long with me.

Priest.

Phaat vil I do: I am Innocent as de Child dat is to be Born; and if they villhang me, I vill be a shaint indeed. My hanging Speech was made for me, long a go by de Iesuits, and I have it ready, and I vill live and dy by it, by my shoule.

Mess.

Gentlemen, I charge you in the Kings Name assist me.

Sir Edw.
Come Gentlemen, I wish you both the happiness you deserve.
How shallow is our foresight and our prudence!
Be ne're so wise, design what e're we will
There is a Fate that over-rules us still.
FINIS
Page  [unnumbered]

EPILOGUE, By Mrs. BARRY and TEGUE.

Mrs. Barry.
A Skilful Mistriss uses wondrous Art,
To keep a pevish crazy Lovers Heart,
His awkard Limbs forgetful of Delights,
Must be urg'd on by Tricks and Painful Nights:
Which the poor Creature is content to bear,
Fine Manteau's and new Petticoats to wear.
And Sirs, your sickly Appetites to raise,
Yhe starving Players try a thousand ways.
Tou had a Spanish Fryer of Intrigue,
And now we have presented you a Tegue;
Which with much cost from Ireland we have got,
If he be dull, e'en hang him for the Plot.
Tegue.
Now have a care, for by my Shoul shalwaation.
Dish vill offend a Party in de Naation.
Mrs. Barry.
They that are angry must be very Beasts,
For all Religions laugh at foolish Priests.
Tegue.
By Creesh, I swear, de Poet has undone me,
Some simple Tory vill maake beat upon me.
Mrs. Barry.
Good Protestants, I hope you will not see,
A Martyr made of our poor Tony Leigh.
Our Popes and Fryers on one side offend,
And yet alas the City's not our Friend:
The City neither like us nor our Wit.
They say their Wives learn ogling in the Pit.*
They'r from the Boxes taught to make advances,
To answer stolen Sighs and naughty Glances.
We Vertuous Ladies some new way must seek,
For all conspire our playing Trade to break.
If the bold Poet freely shows his Vein,
In every place the snarling ops complain,
Of your gross follies if you will not hear,
With inoffensive Nonsense you must bear.
You, like the Husband, never shall receive,
Half the delight the sportful Wife can give.
A Poet dares not whip this foolish Age,
You cannot bear the Physick of the Stage.
The End.
Page  [unnumbered]