The Lancashire-witches and Tegue O Divelly, the Irish-priest a comedy acted at the Duke's Theater
Shadwell, Thomas, 1642?-1692.

ACT. V.

Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

WHat unfortunate disapointments have we met with!

Doubt.

All ill luck has conspired against us this night.

Bell.

We have been near being discover'd, which would have ruin'd us.

Doubt.

And we have but this night to do our business in; if we dispatch not this af∣fair now, all will come out to morrow.

Bell.

I tremble to think on't; sure the surprise the Ladies were in before, has fright∣ed 'em from attempting again.

Doubt.

I rather think that they have met with people, in the Gallery, that have prevented 'em.

Bell.

Now I reflect, I am apt to think so too; for they seem to be very hearty in this matter. Once more go to their Chamber.

Doubt.

Go you in then to ours.

Bell. goes in.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

Hold, Mr. Doubty.

Doubt.

A Curse on all damn'd luck, is she here?

Aside.

Sweet Madam, is it you! I have been watching, for Bellfort's sleeping ever since.

La. Sha.

I venture hard, since Sir Ieffery miss'd me out of Bed, I had much a-do to asten an excuse upon him.

Doubt.

I am so affraid of Bellforts coming, Madam, he was here but even now: The hazard of your honour puts me in an Agony.

La. Sha.

O dear Sir, put out the Candle, and he can never discover any thing; be∣sides, we will retire into you Room.

Doubt.

Death, what shall I do now.

She puts out the Candle.
La. Sha.

And since it is dark, and you cannot see my Blushes, I must tell you, you are a very ill guesser; for I my self was the person I discrib'd.

Doubt.

Oh Madam! you raille me, I will never believe it while I live; it is impos∣sible.

La. Sha.

I'le swear 'tis true: Let us withdraw into that Room, or we shall be dis∣cover'd.

Page  63 Oh Heaven, I am undone, my Husband with a light run into your Cham∣ber.

Doubt.

Tis a happy deliverance.

Aside.
Ex. Doubty.
La. Sha.

I'le counterfeit walking in my sleep.

Enter Sir Jeffery with a Light.
Sir Ieff.

Where is this Wife of mine? She told me she fell asleep in the Closet, at her Prayers, when I mist her before; and I found her there at my coming back to my Chamber: But now she is not there I am sure. Ha! here she is. Ha, what is she blind! she takes no notice of me! how gingerly she treads!

La. Sha.

Oh! stand off—who's that would kill my dear Sir Ieffery? stand off I say.

Sir Ieff.

Oh Lord, kill me! where! ha! here's nobody.

La. Sha.

Oh! the Witch, the Witch, oh she pulls the cloaths off me. Hold me, dear Sir Ieffery, hold me.

Sir Ieff.

On my Conscience and Soul she walks in her sleep.

La. Sha.

Oh, all the Cloaths are off, cover me, oh I am so cold!

Sir Ieff.

Good lack a day, it is so! my Dear, my Lady.

La. Sha.

Hah, hah.

She opens her eyes and shriks.
Sir Ieff.

Wake I say, wake.

La. Sha.

Ah.

Sir Ieff.

'Tis I my dear.

La. Sha.

Oh Heav'n! Sir Ieffery, where am I?

Sir Ieff.

Here in the Gallery.

La. Sha.

Oh! how came I here?

Sir Ieff.

Why, thou didst walk in thy sleep; good lack a day, I never saw the like.

La. Sha.

In my sleep say you! oh Heav'n! I have catcht my death. Let's to Bed, and tell me the story there.

Sir Ieff.

Come on. Ha, ha, ha, this is such a jest! walk in your sleep! gods∣niggs, I shall so laugh at this in the morning.

La. Sha.

This is a happy come off.

Aside
Enter Isabella and Theodosia.
Isab.

If we do not get into this Chamber suddenly, we are undone: They are up in the Offices already.

Theo.

Never have adventures been so often disapointed, in so short a time.

Isab.

There's no body in the Gallery now, we may go.

Theo.

Hast then, and let us fly thither.

Isab. Theo.

Ah, what's this?

Iust as they are entring, Chaplain and Su∣san enter with a Candle.
Susan.

Oh! the Witches, the Witches.

Smerk.

Oh mercy upon us, where is this Candle?

So let me tell you, 'Twas no Witch; they were the two young Ladies, that frighted my dear beautious Love so; and I'le acquaint their Parents with it I'le assure you.

Susan.

This is strange, what could they have to do at this time o'th' night!

Page  58〈1 page duplicate〉Page  63〈1 page duplicate〉
Page  62
Smerk.

I know not. But I well know what I have to do. I am inflam'd beyond all measure, with thy heavenly beauty.

Susan.

Alas, my beauty is but moderate; yet none of the worst, I must needs say.

Smerk.

'Tis blasphemy to say so; your eyes are bright like two Twin-Stars; your Face is an Ocean of beauty; and your Nose a Rock arising from it, on which my heart did split; Nothing but Ruby and Pearl is about thee; I must blazon thee by Jewels, thy beauty is of a Noble rank.

Susan.

Good lack, what fine language is this! well, 'tis a rare thing to be a Schollar.

Smerk.

'Tis a miracle I should not think her hansome before this day; she is an Angel! Isabella is a Dowdy to her. You have an unexhausted mine of beauty. Dear Mrs. Susan cast thy Smiles upon me, and let me labour in thy Quarry: Love makes me Eloquent and Allegorical.

Susan.

Sweet Sir, you oblige me very much by your fine Language; but I vow I understand it not: yet methinks it goes very prettily.

Smerk.

I will unfold my hear unto thee; let me approach thy lip, Oh fragrant! fragrant! Arabia felix is upon this lip.

Susan.

Ha! upon my lip, what's that? I have nothing, I have no pimple, nor any thing upon my lip, not I.

Smerk.

Sweet Innocence—I will be plain; I am inflam'd within, and would injoy thy lovely Body in sweet dalliance.

Susan.

How Sir! do you pretend to be a Divine, and would commit this sin! know, I will preserve my Honour and my Conscience.

Smerk.

Conscience? why so you shall, as long as our minds are united. The Casu∣ists will tell you, it is a Marriage in foro 〈◊〉 and besides, the Church of Rome allows Fornication: And truly it is much practis'd in our 〈◊〉 too. Let us retire, come, come.

Susan.

Stand off, I defie you: your Casuists are Knaves, and you are a Papist, you are a foul voluptuous Swn, and I will never smile on you more. Farewell.

Smerk.

Hold, hold, Dear, ••autious Creature, I am at thy mercy: Must I marry then? speak. Prethee spare me that, and I'le do any thing.

Susan.

Stand off, I scorn thy Love; thou art a pitious Fellow.

Smerk.

Dear Mrs. Susan hear me; let us but do the thing, and then I'le marry thee.

Susan.

I'le see thee hang'd e're I'le trust thee, or e're a Whoremaster of you all. No, I have been serv'd that trick too often already, I thank you.

Aside.
Smerk.

Must I then Marry?

Enter Isabella and Theodosia disguised, with Vizors like Witches.
Isab.
Yonders the Chaplin and Susan;
But this disguise will fright 'em.
Theo.
Let's on, we must venture.
Susan.
Oh! the Witches, the Witches.
Smerk.
Oh! fly, fly.
Ex. Susan and Chaplin.
Page  63Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.
What shriek was that?
Doubt.
We have been several times alarm'd with these Noises.
Bell.
Here's othing but madness and confusion in this Family.
Isab.
Heav'n! who are these whispering?
Doubt.
Who's this I have hold on, heav'n grant it be not my Lady?
Theo.
'Tis I, 'tis Theodosia.
Doubt.
'Tis lucky—where is your fair Companion?
Theo.
Here.
Doubt.
And here's my Friend—
Bell.
A thousand Blessings on you.
Priest.
Phoo are dese?
Enter Priest with a Candle.
Bell.

Heav'n what's this, the damn'd Priest? These disguises will serve our turn yet: oh, Sir we are haunted with Witches here, run in quickly for some Holy-water.

Priest.

I vill, I vill, let me alone.

Ex. Priest.
Bell.

Now in, in quickly.

Ex. Bell. Doubt. Isab. and Theo.
Enter Priest with Holy-water.
Priest.

Phaar is dese Vitches? phaar are dey? hah, dey are Wanisht for feare of me, I vill put dish down in dis plaash for my defence; what vill I do now? I have maade Fornication vid dis Vitch or Succubus indeed; when I do go home, I vill be after being absolv'd for it, and den I vill be as Innocent as de child unborne by my Shoule. I have hangd my self all round vid reliques indeed, and de Sprights and de Vitches cannot hurt me fait and trot.—

Enter Mother Dickenson.
M. Dick.

My Dear, I come to visit thee again.

Priest.

Phaat is here, de Vitch agen does come to haunt me, Benidi•••e, out upon dee dou damn'd Vitch, vat dosht dou come upon me for? I defy dee, a plaague taak dee indeed.

M. Dick.

I am no Witch, I am a poor Innocent woman, and a Tenant of Sir Ed∣wards, and one that loves you dearly.

Priest.

Dou plaagy Vitch, let me come unto my holy vater, and I vill pay dee off indeed; hoh, by my shoulvaation 'tis all flown away—oh dou damnd Vitch, I vill hang dee indeed.

M. Dick.

Pretdee be kinder, my Dear, and kiss me.

Priest.

Out, out, kiss dee—a plaague taake dee Ioy▪ stand off upon me, by my shoul∣vaation, I vill kiss de dogs Arse shaving dy presence, before I vill be after kishing dee.

M. Dick.

Be not so unkind to thy own Dear. Thou didst promise me Marriage, thou know'st, and I come to claim thee for my Husband.

Page  62
Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo, Marriage, Vat vill I Marry vid a Vitch, by my shoule—Conjuro e, fuge, fuge.

M. Dick.

Do not think to put me off with your Latine; for do you hear Sir, you promised me Marriage, and I will have you.

Priest.

Oh phaat vill I do? Vat vill I do?

M. Dick.

This Morning I will Marry you, I'le stay no longer, you are mine.

Priest

By my shoule Joy I vill tell you, I am a Romish Priest, and I cannot Maarry. What would you have now?

M. Dick.

You shall turn Protestant then, for I will have you.

Priest.

By St. Paatrick phaat does she say? Oh damn'd Protestant Vitch. I vill speak shivilly, Madam, I vill tell dee now, if dou vill repair unto dine own House, by my shoulwaation I vill come unto dee to morrow, and I vill give dee satisfaaction indeed.

Aside,
As soon as she does get home, fait and trot I vill bring de Constable, and hang her indeed.

M. Dick.

I'le not be put off, Ile have you now.

She lays hold on him.
Priest.

By my Shoul I vill not go, I vill hang dee for a Vitch; and now I do appre∣hend dee upon daat. Help, help.

Enter Tom. Sha. and Clod.

I have taaken a Vitch ineeed: Help, help.

M. Dick.

I am your Wife.

Priest.

Help, help, I have taaken a Vitch.

Tom. Sha.

Ha! what's here? one of the Witches by th'Mess.

Priest.

Ay, by my Shoule Ioy, I have taaken her.

Tom. Sha.

Nay, byr Lady, whoo has taken yeow by yeowr leave.

Clod.

We han taken a Witch too; lay hawd on her.

M. Dick.
Deber, Deber, little Martin, little
Martin, where art thou little
Master? where art thou little Master?
Priest.

Dost dou mutter? By my shoule I vill hang dee Ioy; a plaague taak dee indeed.

M. Dick.

Thou art a Popish Priest, and I will hang thee.

Priest.

I am Innocent as the Child unborn, I vill taak de Oades, and bee—

M. Dick.

Marmot, Mamilion, Rouncy, Puckling, little Master, have you left me all?

Clod.

We han got another Witch, who's strongly gaurded and Watched i'th stabo.

Tom. Sha.

Come let's hale her thether: We cou'd not get into the hawse till naw, we came whoame so late at night.

Priest.

Come let us taake de Vitch away: I vill hang dee Joy—a plaague taake dee fait.

M. Dick.

Am I o'retaken then—I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Tom. Sha.

Let us carry her thether, come along.

Priest.

Pull her away—we will be after hanging of you Fait and Trot.

Ex.
Page  65 Enter Sir Timothy, and Servant, with a Candle.
Sir Tim.

I could not rest to night for the Joy of being Marryed to day: 'Tis a pret∣ty Rogue—she's somewhat Cross—but I warrant her she will love me, when she has tryed me once.

Serv.

Why would you rise so soon? 'Tis not day yet.

Sir Tim.

'Tis no matter, I cannot sleep man, I am to be Married Sirrah.

Serv.

Ay, and therefore you should have slept now, that you might watch the bet∣ter at night: For 'twill be uncivil to sleep much upon your Wedding Night.

Sir Tim.

Uncivil, ay that it will—very uncivil: I wont sleep a wink. call my new Brother-in-Law: Oh here he is, he can't sleep neither.

Enter Harfo•• and his Man with a Candle.
Yo. Har.

Set down the Candle; and go bid the Groom get the Horses ready, I must away to the Powts.

Sir Tim.

Oh Brother, good morrow to you; what a Devil's this—what booted! are you taking a Journey upon your wedding day?

Yo. Har.

No, but I will not lose my Hawking this Morning; I will come back time enough to be Married Brother.

Sir Tim.

Well, breeding's a fine thing—this is a strange ill-bred Fellow! what Hawk upon your Wedding day! I have other game to fly at—Oh how I long for night— why my Sister will think you care not for her.

Yo. Har.

aside,
No more—I don't very much a pox on Marrying, I love a Hawk, and a Dog, and a Horse, better than all the Women in the World.
[To him.
Why I can Hawk and Marry too: She shall see I love her: For I will leave off Hawking before Ten a Clock.

Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir, I cannot come at the Horses, for the People have taken a brace of Witches, and they are in the stable under a strong guard, that will let no body come at 'em.

Yo. Har.

Uds flesh, I shall have my Horses bewitch'd, and lose 500 Pounds worth of Horse Flesh.

Sir Tim.

No, no, they can do no hurt—when they are taken the Devil leaves 'em— Let's go see 'em—

Yo. Har.

What shall we do?

Their men taking up the Candles, 〈◊〉 Spirits fly away with 'em.
Sir Tim.

Let us stand up close against the Wall.

Yo. Har.

Listen, here are the Witches, what will become of us?

Enter Isabella, Theodosia, Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

A Thousand blessings light on thee my Dear Pretty Witch.

Sir Tim.

O Lord! there's the Devil too Courting of a Witch.

Doubt.

This is the first Night I ever liv'd, thou Dearest, Sweetest Creature.

Yo. Har.

Oh! sweet quoth a, that's more than I can say of my self at this time.

Page  66
Isab.

We will go and be decently prepared for the Wedding that's Expected:

Theo.

Not a word of discovery till the last; creep by the Wall. Ha—who's here!

Isab.

Where?

Yo. Har.

Oh good Devil don't hurt us, we are your humble servants.

Bell.

In▪ in quickly—

Ex. Bellfort and Doubty.
Sir Tim.

Lights, Lights, Help, Help, Murder, Murder, Oh good Devil dont hurt me; I am a Whoremaster.

Yo. Har.

And I am a Drunkard; Help, Help, Murder.

Ex. Ladies.
Enter Tom. Shacklehead with a Candle, and Tgue O. Devilly.
Tom. Sha.

What's the Matter?

Thunder softly here.
Priest.

Phaat is de matter Joy?

Sir Tim.

O Nuncle! here have been Devils and Witches: They have flown away with our Candles, and put us in fear of our lives.

Thunder and Lighten.
Tom. Sha.

Here's a great Storm Arising—what can be the matter! the Haggs are at Warck by'r Lady, and they come to me by'th' mass, I ha getten my brawd Sward: Ay•• mow 'em down, ged faith will I.

Priest.

Be not affraid, I vill taake a Caare, and I vill conjure down this Tempest fait an bee.

Thunders.
Tom. Sha.

Flsh that Thunder Clap shook the hawe, Candle burns blew too.

Sir Tim.

Death, it goes out, what will become of us?

Tom. Sha.

An the Witches come, by'r Lady Ayst mow 'em down with my brawd Sward I warrant o'—I have shot one Witch lying to Neeght already.

Enter M. Hargrave, M. Madge, and two Witches more; they mew and spit like Cats, and fly at 'em, and scratch 'em.
Yo. Har.

What's this! we are set upon by Cats.

Sir Tim.

They are Witches in the shape of Cats, what shall we do?

Priest.
Phaat will I do? Cat, Cat, Cat, Oh, oh.
Conjuro vos ••gite, fugite. Cacodaemnes, Cats, Cats.
They Scrath all their Faces till the Blood runs about 'em. He cuts at them.
Tom. Sha.

Have at ye all, I ha Mauld some of 'em by'th' mass, they are fled, but I am plagneily scratcht.

The Witches screek and run away.
Priest.

Dey ware affraid of my Charmes, and de sign of de Cross did maake dem fly—but dy have sratcht a great deale upon my faash for all daat.

Yo. Har.

Mine is all of a gore blood.

Sir Tim.

And mine too—that ths damn'd Witches should disfigure my Counte∣nance upon my Wedding day.

Yo. Har.

O Lord, what a Tempest's this?

Thunder▪
Page  67 Enter Sir Jeffery with a Light.
Sir Ieff.

Heaven! What a Storm is this! The Witches and all their Imps are at work. Who are these? hah!—your Faces are all bloody.

Sir Tim.

We have been frighted out of our Wits; we have been assaulted by Witches in the shape of Cats, and they have scratcht us most ruefully.

Priest.

But I did fright dem away, by my Shoule.

Sir Ieff.

Why you are as much mauld as any one, nay, they are at work—I never remember such Thunder and Lightning; bid 'em ring out all the Bells at the Church.

Priest.

I vill* Baptize all your Bells for you Joy, and then they vill stop the Tempest indeed, and not before; I tell you, oh, Baptized Bells are braave things fait.

Tom. Sha.

Flesh, Christen Bells!

Sir Tim.

Yes, I believe the great Bell at Oxford was Christen'd Tom.

Yo. Har.

And that at Lincoln has a Christen name too.

Priest.

I tell de Joy, I vill carry de hosht and shome reliques abroad, and we vill get a black Chicken and maak one of de Vitches throw it into de Aire, and it vill maak stop upon de Tempest.

Sir Ieff.

Why, all the Authors say, * sacrificing a black Chicken so, will raise a Tempest.

Tho. Sha.

What's here a haund! uds Flesh, you see I have cut off a haund of one of the Haggs.

Sir Ieff.

Let's see, this is a lucky evidence; keep it and see what Witch it will fit, and 'tis enough to hang her.

Priest.

The Storm begins to stay; I did shay shome Aves, and part of de Gospd of St. Iohn, and in fine, fugiat Tempestas, and it does go away upon it indeed.

Tho. Sha.

We may trace her by her Blood.

Sir Tim.

But hark you, What's the reason my Hawks wanted their Pidgeons: uds bud I shall remember you for it; you think to live like a Lubber here and do nothing.

Tom. Sha.

Peace, I was drunken, peace good Sir Timothy, Ayst do no more so.

Sir Ieff.

Methinks all on a sudden the Storm is laid.

Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir, the Constable and the rest of us have taken the whole flock of Witches: but they fell upon us like Cats first; but we have beaten 'em into Witches, and now we have 'em fast.

Sir Ieff.

So now, their Power's gone when they are taken, let's go see 'em.

Yo. Har.

I'le wash my face and away a Hawking, now the Storm's over, 'tis broad day.

Sir Tim.

I will call up Sir Edward; Musick, and wake the two Brides with a Sere∣nade this morning.

Ex. Omnia.
Page  68 Enter Sir Edward and his man with a Light.
Sir Edw.

It has been a dreadful Storm, and strangely laid o'th' suddain, this is a ioyful day to me: I am now in hopes to strengthen and preserve my Family—my poor Daughter has the worst on't, but she is discreet; and will mould Sir Timothy to what she pleases: he is good natur, , and he loves her, and his Estate's beyond Ex∣ception.— Go call my Son to me, bid him rise, 'tis day, put out the Candle now.

Ex. Servant.
This Son, I out of Duty must provide for; for there's a Duty from a Father to make what he begets as happy as he can; and yet this Fool makes me unhappy as he can: but that I call Philosophy to my aid, I could not bear him.

Enter Young Harfort and Servant.

How now, your Face scrach't! what were you drunk last night, and have been at Cuffs?

Yo. Har.

No, Sir Timothy, I, and Tegue O Devilly, and Tom. Shaklehead were as∣saulted by Witches in the Shapes of Cats; and Tom. Shaklehead has cut off one of the Cats hands; and all the Witches are taken, and are in the Stable under a strong Guard.

Sir Edw.

What foolish wild story is this? you have been drunk in Ale, that makes such foggy Dreams.

Yo. Har.

Sbud Sir, the story is true, you'l find it so.

Sir Edw.

How now! what makes you booted upon your Wedding-day?

Yo. Har.

Why, I am going a Hawking this morning, and I'le come home time e∣nough to be marry'd.

Sir Edw.

Thou most incorrigible Ass, whom no precept or example can teach com∣mon sence to, that would have made thee full of Joy at thy approaching happines; it would have filld thy mind, there could have been no room for any other obiect; to have a good Estate setled upon thee, and to be married to a woman of that Beauty, and that Wit and Wisdom, I have not known her equal, would have transported any one but such a clod of Earth as thou art: thou art an excrement broken from me, not my Son.

Yo. Har.

Why Sir, I am transported; but can't one be transported with Hawking too? I love it as I love my life, would you have a Gentleman neglect his sports?

Sir Edw.

None but the vilest men will make their sports their business; their books, their friends, their kindred and their country should concern 'em: such drones serve not the ends of their Creation, and should be lopt of from the rest of men.

Yo. Har.

A man had better dye than leave his sport; tell me of books, I think theres nothing in 'em for my part; and for Musick I had as live set in the stocks, as hear your fine songs; I love a Bagpipe well enough, but there's no Musick like a ••eep Mouth'd Hound.

Sir Edw.

Thou most excessive blockhead, thou art enough to imbitter all my sweets; thou art a Wen belonging to me, and I shall do well to cut thee off: but do you hear Fool, Page  69 go and dress your self, and wait upon your Bride, or by Heaven I will disinherit you. This is the Critical day, on which your happiness or misery depends; Think on that.

Ex. Sir Edward.
Yo. Har.

Was ever so devilish a Father to make one neglect one's sport, because he's no sports-man himself; A Pox on Marrying, could not I Hawk and Marry too? well I am resolv'd I'le steal out after I am Marry'd.

Enter Sir Timothy and Musick.
Sir Tim.

Come on: Place your selves just by her Chamber and play—and sing that Song I love so well.

Song.
My Dear, my sweet, and most delicious Bride
Awake, and see thine own Dear waiting at thy Dore;
Surely she cannot sleep for thinking of me, poor Rogue.
Isabela

above.
Who's this disturbs my rest! is it thou? I thought 'twas some Im∣pertinent Coxcomb or other; dost thou hear, carry away that scurvy Face from me as soon as possibly thou canst.

Sir Tim.

Well, you have a pleasant way with you, you'l never leave your pretty humors, I see that.

Isab.

Ha! Thou hast been scratching with Wenches, was not thy face ugly e∣nough, but thou must disfigure it more than Nature has done? one would have thought that had don't enough.

Sir Tim.

Faith thou art a pretty wag, Thou It never leave thy Roguery; Wenches, why 'twas done by Witches, who in the shape of Cats, had like to have kil'd us: your Brother, my Uncle, and the Irish man are all as bad as I.

Isab.

Prethee begon, and mend thy Face, I cannot bear it.

Sir Tim.

Ay, ay, it's no matter, I'le come into thy Chamber, I must be familar with you—

Isab.

And I will be very free with you; you are a Nauseous Fool and you shall ne∣ver come into my Chamber. S life, would your begin you Reign before you are Mar∣ry'd? no, I'le dominere now—begon.

Ex. Isabela.
Sir Tim.

Nay, faith I'le not leave you so, you little Cross Rogue you; open the dore there, let me in, let me in I say.

Theodosia comes out in a Weitches habit and a Vizr.
Theo.

Who's that? Thou art my love, come into my arms.

Sir Tim.

Oh the Witch! the Witch! help,

He runs out, Theodosia retires.
Enter Sir Ieffery, Lady, Tegue O Devilly, Tom. Shacklehead, Clod, and Sir Iefferies Clerk.
Sir Ieff.

So, Now thou art come, my Dear, I'le dispatch the Witches, they are all taken and Guarded in the stable: Clod, bid 'em bring em all hither.

La. Sha.

That's well, are they caught? let 'em come before us, we will order 'em.

Page  70
Sir Ieff.

I would do nothing without thee my Dear.

Priest.

Here Lady Taake some1 Conjur'd shalt and put upon dee and palme, and shome Holy-Wax daat I did bring for dish occaasion, and de Witches will not hurt dy Laadyship.

La. Sha.

Thank you Sir.

Priest.

I did give dy Husband shome before Joy, but I will speak a word unto you all, let every one2 spit three times upon deir Boshomes, and Cross dmselves, it is braave upon dis occaasion.

Sir Ieff.

It shall be done.

They all do it.
Priest.

Daat is very well now.

Let no Vitch3 touch no part about you, and let 'em come vid deir Arshes before deir Faashes, phen dey come to Confession or Examinaation. We have eye-biting Witches in Eerland▪ that kill vid deir Countenance.

Sir Ieff.

This is a very Learned and Wise man.

La. Sha.

He is a great man indeed, we are nothing to him.

Priest.

You vill shee now, now I will speak unto dem, here dey come; I shay bring their Arshes before deir Faashes.

They enter with the Witches.
Tom. Sha.

Bring 'em backward, thus.

Sir Ieff.

You Clod, and you Tom. Shacklehead have sworn sufficiently against the Witch Spencer, and so has that Country Fellow.

M. Spen.

I am an Innocent Woman, and they have broken my arm with a shot, Rogues, Villains, Murderers.

Priest.

Dey are angry, daat is a certain sign of a Vitch; and dey cannot cry,4 daat is anoder shine; lok to 'em dey doe not put spittle upon deir Faashes to maake beleife daat dey do weep: Yet Bodin dosh shay, daat a Vitch can cry three drops vid her right Eye, I tell you.

Sir Ieff.

Have you searcht 'em all as I bid you Woman?

Woman.

Yes an't please your Worship, and they have all great Biggs and Teates in many parts, except Mother Madge, and hers are but small ones.

La. Sha.

It is enough, make their Mittimus, and send 'em all to Goal.

Witches.
I am Innocent, I am Innocent,
Save my life, I am no Witch,
I am Innocent, save my life.
Priest.

Ven dey do shay dey are Innocent, and deshire to shave deir lives, 'tis a sher∣tain shigne of a Vitch fait and trot.

Woman.

Besides, this Woman Margaret Demdike by name, threatned to be revenged on me, and my Cow has been suckt dry ever since, and my Child has had fits.

M. Demd.

She lies, she lies, I am Innocent.

Tom. Sha.

This is she that had a hand cut off, it fits her to a hair.

Sir Ieff.

Tis enough: Tis enough.

M. Harg.

Must I be hang'd for having my hand cut off? I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Page  71
Constak.

Did not you say to my Wife you would be reveng'd on me? and has not she ben struck with pain in her rump-bone ever since? and did not my Sow cast her farrow last Night?

Harg.

You should send your Brother to Goal for cutting my hand off.

Tom. Sha.

What for cutting a Cats hand off? you were a Cat when I cut it off.

Tho. O. Georges.

An't please your Worship this Woman, Gamer Dickinson, Who threp∣ed: and threped, and aw to becaw'd me last Neeght i'th' Lone, and who said he woud be reveng'd on me; and this Morning at four a Clock Butter would not come, nor the Ale warck a bit, who has bewicht it.

Sir Ieff.

I have heard enough, send 'em all to the Goal.

La. Sha.

You must never give a Witch any Milk, Butter, Cheese, or any thing that comes from the Cows.

Priest.

Now dou damn'd Vitch, I vill be after sheeing dee hang'd indeed, I did taake her by my shoule—

Dick.

I am a poor Innocent Woman, I am abused, and I am his wife an't please your worship: He had knowledg of me in a Room in the Gallery, and did promise me Marriage.

Sir Ieff.

Hah! what's this?

Priest.

By my Shalvaation I am innocent as de Child unborn, I speak it before Hea∣v'n, I did never make fornicaation in my life.

Aside.
Vid my Nostrills: dere is a mental reservaation, I am too subtil for dem, indeed gra. To them. It is malice upon me.

La. Sha.

There is something in this story, but I dare not speak of it.

Sir Ieff.

I do believe you Mr. O Devilly.

Dicken.

Besides, he is a Popish Priest.

Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo, a Priest, I vill taake de Oades Fait and trot; I did never taake. Holy Orders since I was bore.

Aside.
In Iamaica. Dere is anoder Mentall reservaation too; and it is Lawful.

Constab.

Indeed Sir, I have been told he is a Popish Priest, and has been at Rome.

Priest.

I speak it in de presence of all de Saints, daat I never did see Rome in all my life, Vid de eyes of a Lyon,

Aside.
Dere was anoder by my shoule.

Sir Ieff.

Take away the Witches, there is their Mittimus, carry 'em all to Lancaster. Witches. I am Innocent, I am Innocent.

Page  72
Constab.

Come on you Hags, now your Master the Devil has left you.

Ex. Const. and Witches.
Sir Ieff.

Sir you must excuse me, I must give you the Oathes upon this Information.

Priest.

And by my shoule Joy, I will taak dem and twenty or thirty more Oades if dou dosht please indeed, I vill take 'em all to serve dee, Fait and Trot.

Sir Ieff.

Come into the Hall, there's the Statute Book.

La. Sha.

I will go in and see if the Brides be Ready.

Enter Sir Edward, Bellfort and Doubty.
Sir Edw.

Gentlemen, This day I am to do the great Duty of a Father in provi∣ding for the Settlement of my Children; this day we will dedicate to Mirth, I hope you will partake with me in my Joy.

Bell.

I should have had a greater share in any Joy that could affect so worthy a man, had not your Daughter been the only Person, I ever saw, whom I could have fixt my love upon; but I am unhappy that I had not the honour to know you till it was to late.

Sir Edw.

This had been a great honour to me, and my Daughter, and I am sorry I did not know it sooner, and assure you it is some trouble upon me.

Doubt.

How like a Gentleman he takes it, but I have an Ass, Nay two, to deal with.

Enter Lady Shacklehead, and Isabella, and Theodosia.
La. Sha.

Good morrow Brother, our brace of Brides are ready, where are the lusty Bridegrooms?

Sir Edw.

Heav'n grant this may prove a happy day.

La. Sha.

Mr. Doubty, was ever such an unlucky Night as we have had.

Doubt.

'Tis happy to me who was assur'd of the love of one, I love much more than all the Joys on Earth.

La. Sha.

Now you make me blush, I swear it is a little too much.

Bell.

Ladies, I wish you much joy of this day.

Doubt.

Much happiness to you.

Enter Sir Ieffery, and Tegue O Devilly.
Sir Ieff.

Brother, good morrow to you; This is a happy day, our families will soon be one: I have sent all the Witches to the Goal.

Sir Edw.

Had you Evidence enough?

Sir Ieff.

Ay, too much; this Gentleman was accused for being a Papist and a Priest, and I have given him the Oathes, and my Certificate, and on my Conscience he is a very good Protestant.

Priest.

It is no matter, I did taak de Oades, and I am a very good Protestant upon occasion, Fait.

Sir Edw.

Say you so? between you and I, how many Sacraments are there?

Priest,

How many? by my shoule dere are sheven; how many would would dere be ink Page  73 you Hob? y my shoule I have a dispensaation, indeed I am to 〈◊〉 for 'em fait I am.

Aside.
Sir Edw.

So here are the Bridegrooms.

Enter Sir Timothy, and Yo. Harfort, Servant.
Sir Tim.

Oh my Dear pretty Bride, let me kiss thy hand, how joyful am I, that I shall have my Dear within these arms! ah! now the little Rogue can smile upon me.

Yo. Har.

Cousin good morrow to you, I am glad to see you, how do you do this Morning?

Theo.

Never better.

Yo. Har.

God be thanked, I am very glad on't.

Sir Edw.

Is not the Parson come yet?

Serv.

Yes Sir, he is very busy at his Breakfast in the buttery: And as soon as he has finisht his Pipe and his Tankard—he will wait on you: he has Marry'd one Cupple already, The Chaplin and Mrs. Susan.

Sir Edw.

How!

Serv.

'Tis true.

Sir Edw.

I am sorry for't, that Chaplin is a Rascal—I have found him out, and will turn him away—

Enter another Servant.
Serv.

Sir, here are some of your Tennants and Country men come to be merry with you, and have brought their Piper and desire to daunce before you.

Enter several Tennants, and Ccuntry Fellows.
Tennants.

We are come to wish your Worship, my Young Master and Lady Joy of this happy day.

Sir Edw.

You are kindly welcom Neighbours, this is happiness indeed, to see my Friends, and all my loving Neighbours thus about me.

All.

Heavens bless your good Worship.

Sir Edw.

These honest men are the strength and sinnews of our Country; such men as these are uncorrupted, and while they stand to us we fear no Papists, nor French invasion; this day we will be merry together.

Clod.

Ayst make bold to Daunce for joy.

Sir Edw.

Prethee do—

Clod Dances.
Go bid the Parson come in, we will dispatch this business here before you all.

Isab.

Hold, there needs no Parson.

Sir Edw.

What say you?

Sir Ieff.

How!

Isab.

We are Marry'd already, and desire your blessing.

Sir Edw.

It is impossible.

Bell. Doubt. Isab. and Theo. kneel.
La. Sha.

Heav'n! what's this I see?

Page  74
Sir Ieff.

Theives! Robbers! Murderers of my honour, I'le hang that Fellow.

Sir Edw.

What pageantry is this? explain your self.

Sir Tim.

What a Devil do they mean now!

Bell.

The truth is Sir, we are Marry'd; we found you Fathers were too far ingag'd to break off: I 〈◊〉 forced us to this way, and nothing else can be a fit excuse.

Smerk.

We have designed this ever since last Summer, and any other but a private way, had certainly prevented it. Let excess of love excuse our fault, Sir Ieffery, I will exceed what stlement was made upon your Daughter.

Bell.

An! I will, Sir, do the same Right to yours.

Sir Ieff.

Flesh and Heart—I'le Murder her.

〈◊〉

Hold Sir, she is mine now; I beseech you moderate your passion.

La. Sha.

Oh vile Creature; I'le tear her Eyes out.

〈◊〉

Forbear good Madam: What cannot be redrest must be past by—

La. Sha.

Thou worst of Theives, thou knowest I can ne're pass it by.

Sir Ieff.

Sir Edward, you may do what you will, but I'le go in and meditat revenge.

La. Sha.

And I—

Ex. Sir Ieffery and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Hold, hold me, I am bloody minded, and shall commit Murder else; my honour, my honour, I must kill him, hold me fast, or I shall kill him.

Yo. Har.

For my part Cousin, I wish you Joy, for I am resolved to hunt and hawk, and course as long as I live—

Sir Tim.

Cruel Woman, I did not think you would have serv'd me so; I shall un mad, and hang my self an walk.

Priest.

Now phaar is de soleedity of all dish—phy all ish paasht▪ and what vil you say now? You must taak shome Consolaation unto you—Dou must Fornicaate vid dy Moders Maid sharvants; and daat is all one by my shoule.

Sir Edw.

Hold, Gentlemen, who Marry'd you?

Bell.

This Gentleman, who is under his gray Coat, my Parson.

Sir Edw.

'Tis something unhospitable.

Bell.

I hope Sir, you'l not have cause to repent it; had there been any other way for me to have escap't perpetual misery, I had not taken this.

Sir Edw.

But you Sir have most Iniurd me.

Doubt.

I beg a thousand pardons, Tho' I must have perisht if I had not done it.

Theo.

It is no injury Sir, I never could have lov'd your Son; we must have been unhappy.

Isab.

And I had been miserable with Sir Timothy.

Yo. Har.

To say truth, I did not much care for her neither, I had rather not marry.

Sir Edw.

Eternal Blockhead! I will have other means to preserve my Name: Gentlemen, your are men of ample Fortunes and worthy Families—Sir I wish you happiness with my Daughter, take her.

Bell.

You have given me more than my own Father did, then life and fortune.

Isab.

You are the best of Fathers and of men.

Sir Edw.

I will endeavour to appease Sir Ieffery and my Lady.

Doubt.

Your are Generous beyond expression Sir.

Page  75 Enter Chaplin and Susan.
Chaplin.

Sir, I hope your Worship will pardon me, I am Marry'd to Mrs. Susan.

Sir Edw.

You are a Villain, that has made love to my Daughter, and corrupted my Son.

Chap.

Have they told all, I am ruin'd? good Sir, continue me your Chaplin, and I will Do and Preach whatever you command me.

Sir Edw.

I'le not have a Divine with so flexible a Conscience, there shall be no such Vipers in my Family; I will take care you never shall have Orders. But she has serv'd me well, and I will give her a Farm of 40. l. per annum to Plow: Go Sir, it was an Office you were born to.

Priest.

Did I not bid de Fornicaate? and dou didst Marry Joy; if dou hadst not maade Marriage, I vould have maade dee a Catholick, and preferred dee to Saint Omers, Dey should have bred dee for one of deir Witnesses fait.

Enter a Messenger.
Mess.

I must beg your pardon Sir, I have a warrant against this Kelly, Alias Tegue O Devilly—he is accus'd for being in the Plot.

Sir Edw.

My house is no refuge for Traytors Sir.

Priest.

Aboo, boo, boo! by my shalvaation dere is no Plot, and I vill not go vid you. Dou art a damn'd Fanaatick, if dou dosht shay dere is a Plot. Dou art a Presbiterian Dogg.

Mess.

No striving, come a long with me.

Priest.

Phaat vil I do: I am Innocent as de Child dat is to be Born; and if they villhang me, I vill be a shaint indeed. My hanging Speech was made for me, long a go by de Iesuits, and I have it ready, and I vill live and dy by it, by my shoule.

Mess.

Gentlemen, I charge you in the Kings Name assist me.

Sir Edw.
Come Gentlemen, I wish you both the happiness you deserve.
How shallow is our foresight and our prudence!
Be ne're so wise, design what e're we will
There is a Fate that over-rules us still.
FINIS