The Lancashire-witches and Tegue O Divelly, the Irish-priest a comedy acted at the Duke's Theater
Shadwell, Thomas, 1642?-1692.
Page  45 Page  46

ACT. IV.

Sir Edward, Sir Ieffery, La. Shaklehead, Sir Timothy and Isabella.
Sir Ie••.

I Am sorry I am forced to complain of my Cosin.

La. Sha.

Sorry, marry so am not I; I am sorry she is so pert and ill-bred, truly Sir Edward 'tis unsufferable for my Son, a man of his Quality and Title, Born of such a Family, and so Educated, to be so abused, to have Stones thrown at him lie a Dog.

Sir Ieff.

We must e'en break off the Match, Sir Edward.

Sir Edw.

Sir, I am as••med of it, I blush and grieve to hear it; Daughter, I never thought to see this day.

〈◊〉.

Sir, I am so amazed I know not what to say, I abuse my Cosin! Sure he is bwitched.

Sir Tim.

I think I am, to Love you after it, I am sure my Arm's black and blew, that it is.

〈◊〉.

He ested with me, as I thought, and would have ruffled me, and kissed me, ad I run from him, and in foolish play, I quoited a little Stone or two at him.

Sir Tim.

And why did you call me Filthy-face, and ugly Fellow, hh, Gentlewo∣man?

La. Sha

He ugly! Nay, then I have no Eyes, though I say't, that should not say't, 〈…〉 his Fellow—

Page  47
Isab.

Nor I neither: 'twas a jest, a jest, he told me he was handsomer for a Man, than I for a Woman.

Sir Ieff.

Why, look you there, you Blockhead, you Clown, you Puppy, why do you trouble us with this impertinent lye?

La. Sha.

Good words, Sir Ieffery, 'twas not so much amiss; hah, I'le tell you that.

Sir Edw.

Sure this is some mistake, you told me you were willing to marry.

Isab.

I did not think I should be put to acknowledg it before this Company: But Heaven knows, I am not more willing to live; the time is now so short, I may con∣fess it.

Sir Edw.

You would not use him, you intend to marry, ill.

Isab.

I Love him I am to marry more than Light or Liberty. I have thus long dis∣sembled it through Modesty; but, now I am provoked, I beseech you Sir, think not that I'd dishonour you so.

Sir Edw.

Look you, you have made her weep; I never found her false or disobe∣dient.

Sir Tim.

Nay, good dear Cousin, don't cry, you'l make me cry too; I can't forbear, I ask your pardon with all my heart, I vow I do, I was to blame, I must confess.

La. Sha.

Go too, Sir Timothy, I never could believe one of your parts would play the Fool so.

Sir Edw.

And you will marry to morrow.

Isab.

I never wisht for any thing so much, you make me blush to say this.

La. Sha.

Sweet Cousin forgive me, and Sir Ieffery, and Sir Timothy.

Isab.

Can I be angry at any thing▪ when I am to be married to morrow? And I am sure I will be, to him I love more than I hate this Fool.

[Aside]
Sir Ieff.

I could find in my heart to break your head, Sir Timothy, you are a Puppy.

Sir Edw.

Come lets leave 'em together, to understand one another better.

Sir Ieff.

Cousin, Daughter I should say, I beg your pardon, your Servant.

La. Sha.

Servant, Sweet Daughter.

Ex. Sir Edw. Sir Jeff. and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Dear Cosin be in good humour, I could wish my self well beaten for mistaking one that loves me so, I would I might ne're stir, if I did not think you had been in earnest: well, but I vow and swear I am mightily beholden to you, that you think me so fine a person, and love me so dearly; Oh how happy am I that I shall have thee to morrow in these Arms! by these ten bones, I love you more than all the Ladies in London put them together. Prethee Speak to me, O that Smile Kills me, oh I will o Hug thee and Kiss thee, and Love thee to morrow night—I'd give forty pound to morrow night were to night, I hope we shall have twins before the year comes about▪

Isab.

Do you so Puppy?

She gives him a box on the Ear, and pulls him by the Ears.
Sir Tim.

Help, Help, Murder, Murder.

Isab.

Help, Help, Murder, Murder.

Sir Tim.

What a Devils to do now? hah, she Counterfeits a Sound.

Page  48 Enter Theodsia at one Door, and Sir Ieffery, and Lady a the other.
Theo.

How now, my Dear, what's the matter?

Sir Ieff.

What's the Matter?

Sir Tim.

I feel the matter, She gave me a Cuff, and lug'd me by the Ears, and I think she is in a Sound.

Iab.

Oh the Witch! the Witch came just now into the Room, and struck Sir Timothy, and Lug'd him, and beat me down.

Sir Tim.

Oh Lord, a Witch! Ay, 'twas a two legg'd Witch.

Isab.

And, assoon as she had done, she run out of that Door.

Theo.

'Tis very true, I met her and was frighted, and left her muttering in the next 〈◊〉.

Sir Tim.

Oh Impudence!

Sir Ieff.

You Puppy, you Coxcomb, will you never leave these lyes, is the fellow bewitched?

He cudgels Sir Tim.
La. Sha.

Go Fool, I am ashamed of you.

Sir Ieff.

Lets see if we can take this Witch.

La. Sha.

Quickly, before she flies away.

Ex. Sir Jeff. and Lady.
Sir Tim.

Well, I have done, I'le ne're tell tale more.

Isab.

Begone, Fool, go.

Sir Tim.

Well, I will ndure this, but I am resolved to marry her to morrow and be revenged on her; if she serves me so then, I will tickle her Toby for her, faith I will.

Ex. Sir Tim.
Isab.

Well, I'le be gone, and get out of the way of 'em.

Theo.

Come on.

Enter Young Harfort Drunk.
Yo. Harf.

Madam! Cozen hold a little, I desire a word with you.

Theo.

I must stay.

Isab.

Adieu then.

Yo. Harf.

I am drunken well 〈◊〉, and now I am not so hala (since we must mar∣ry to morrow) I pray you nw lt us be a little better acquainted to neeght, He make bold to Salute you in a Civil way.

Theo.

The Fool's drunk.

Yo. Harf.

By the Mass she kisses rarely, uds lud she has a Breath as sweet as a Cow, I have been a Hawking, and have brought you home a power of Powts in my bag here; we have had the rarest sport, we had been at it still, but that 'tis neeght.

Theo.

You have been at some other sport I see.

Yo. Harf.

What, because I am merry? nay, and I list, I can be as merry as the best on em all.

An onny mon Smait my Sweet hear,
Ayst Smait him agen an I con,
Flesh what care for a brokken Yead,
For onest a mon's a mon.
Theo.

I see you can be merry indeed.

Yo. Har.

Ay that I can, Fa, la, la, fa, la.

He Sings Roger a Coverly.

Page  49 I was at it helter Skelter in excellent Ale, with Londoners that went a Hawking, brave Roysters, honest fellows that did not beleive the Plot.

Theo.

Why don't you beleive the Plot?

Yo. Har.

No, the Chaplain has told me all; there's no Popish Plot, but there's a Pres∣byterian one, he says, none but Phanaticks believe it.

Theo.

An Excellent Chaplain to make love to his Patrons Daughter, and Corrupt the Son.

Aside.

Why all the Eminent men of our Church beleive it; this fellow is none of the Church, but crept into it for a livelyhood, and as soon as they find him they'l turn him out of it.

Yo. Har.

Nay, Cousin I should not have told it, he Charged me to say nothing of it; but you and I ae all one, you are to be bone of my bone to morrow: And I will Sa∣lute you once more upon that d'e see.

Theo.

Hold, Hold, not so fast 'tis not come to that yet.

Yo. Har.

'Twill come to that and more to morrow, fa, la, la, but I'le out at four a Hawking, though for all that, d'e understand me?

Theo.

Her'es Doubty, I must get rid of this fool.

Enter Doubty.

Cousin, I hear your Father coming; if he sees you in this Condition hee'l be very Angry.

Yo. Har.

Thank you Kindly, no more to be said, I'le go and Sleep a little, I see she loves me, fa, la, la, la.

Ex. Yo. Harfort.
Doubty.

Dear Madam, this is a happy 〈◊〉 thrown upon me unexpectedly, and I must use it: To morrow is the faral day to ruin me.

Theo.

It shall not ruin me: the Inquisition should not force me to a Marriage with this fool.

Doubty.

This is a step to my Comfort; but when your Father shall to morrow hear your refusal, you know not what his passion may produce; restraint of Liberty is the least.

Theo.

He shall not restrain my Liberty of Choice.

Doubt.

Put your self into those hands that may defend you from his Power: the hands of him, who loves you more than the most Pious value Heaven, than Misers Gold, than Clergy men love Power, than Lawyers strife, than Jesuites Blood and Treachery.

Theo.

If I could find such a man.

Doubt.

Then look no farther Madam, I am he; speak but one word, and make me the happiest man on Earth.

Theo.

It comes a little to quick upon me; are you sure you are the man you speak of?

Doubt.

By Heaven; and by your Self I am, or may I be the scorn of all Mankind; and the most Miserable too, without you.

Theo.

Then you shall be the man.

Doubt.

Heaven; on my Knees I must receive this Blessing; there's not another I would ask, my Joy's too big for me.

Theo.

No Raptures for Heavens sake, here comes my Mother, adieu.

Page  58Enter Lady Shaklehead.
Doubt.

I must Compose my self.

La. Sha.

Sir your most humble Servant.

Doubt.

Your Ladiships most humble Servant.

La. Sha.

It is not fit I should lose this opportunity, to tell you that (which per∣haps may not be unacceptable to a person of your Complexion) who is so much a Gentleman, that I'le swear I have not seen your equal.

Doubt.

Dear Madam, you confound me with your Praises.

La. Sha.

I vow 'tis true; indeed I have strugled with my self before I thought fit to reveal this: but the consideration of your great accomplishments, do indeed, as it were, ravish, or extort it from me, as I may so say.

Doubt.

I beseech you Madam.

La. Sha.

There is a Friend of mine, a Lady (whom the world has acknowledged to be well bread, and of Parts too, that I must say, and almost confess) not in the Bud indeed, but in the Flower of her Age, whom time has not yet invaded with his injuries; in fine, envy cannot say that she is less than a full ripe Beauty.

Doubt.

That this Creature should bring forth such a Daughter.

Aside.
La. Sha.

Fair of Complexion, Tall, Streight, and shaped much above the ordinary; in short, this Lady (whom many have Languished, and Sigh'd in vain for) does of her self, so much admire your Person, and your Parts, that she extreamly desires to contract a Friendship with you, intire to all intents and purposes.

Doubt.

'Tis impossible she should be in earnest, Madam, but were she, I cannot Marry ever.

La. Sha.

Why she is Married already, Lord how dull he is! she is the best Friend I have, Married to an old man, far above her sprightly years.

Doubt.

What a Mother-in-Law am I like to have!

Aside.
La. Sha.

Can you not Guess who this is all this while?

Doubt.
Too well.
To himself.
Not I truly Madam.
To her.
La. Sha.

Ha, ha, ha, no! that's strange, ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

I cannot possibly.

La. Sha.

Ha, ha, ha. I'le swear! ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

No, Ile swear.

La. Sha.

'Tis very much, you are an ill guesser, I'le vow, ha, ha, ha! Oh Lord, not yet?

Doubt.

Not yet, nor ever can.

La. Sha.

Here's Company, retire.

Enter Smerk and Tegue O Divelly.
Smerk.

I am all on fire, what is it that Inspires me! I thought her ugly once, but this morning thought 〈…〉 in love already! Sure I was blind, she is a beauty 〈…〉 a minutes absence is death to me.

Page  59
Priest.

Phaat Joy, dou art in Meditaation and Consideraation upon something? if it be a Scruple upon thy Conscience, I believe I vill maak it out unto dee.

Smerk.

No Sir, I am only ruminating a while; I am inflamed with her affection, O Susan! Susan! Ah me! Ah me!

Priest.

Phaat dost dou not mind me? nor put dy thought upon me? I do desire to know of dy Faathers Child, what he does differ from de Caatholick Church in, by my fait it is a braave Church, and a gaallant Church (de Devil taake mee) I vill tell you now, phare is dere such a one? vill you speak unto me now Joy, hoh?

Smerk.

'Tis a fine Church, a Church of Splender, and riches, and power, but there are some things in it—

Priest.

Shome things! Phaat dosht dou taalk of shome things? By my shoule I vill not see a better Church in a Shommers day, indeed, dan de Caatholick Church. I tell you there is braave dignities, and promotions too; what vill I shay unto you? by St. Phaatrick, but I do beleeve I vill be a Cardinal before I vill have death. Dey have had not one Eerish Cardinal a great while indeed.

Smerk.

What power is this that urges me so fast, oh Love! Love!

Priest.

Phaat dosht dou shay, dosht dou love promotions and dignities? den I predee now be a Caatholick. What vill I say unto you more? but I vill tell you, You do shay dat de Caatholicks may be shaved, and de Caatholicks do shay, dat you vill be after being damn'd, and phare is de solidity now of daat, daat dou vill not turn a good Caatholick?

Smerk.

I cannot beleive there is a Purgatory.

Priest.

No! Phy I vill tell you what I vill shay unto you, I have sheen many Shoules of Purgatory dat did appear unto me; And by my trot, I do know a Shoule when I do shee it, and de Shoules did speak unto me, and did deshire of me dat I vould pray dem out of that plaashe: And dere Paarents, and Friends did give me shome money, and I did pray 'em out. Widout money indeed, we cannot pray dem out, no fait.

Smerk.

That may not be so hard; but for Transubstantiation, I can never beleive it.

Priest

Phaat dosht not beleive de Cooncel of Trent Joy? dou vilt be damn'd indeed, and de Devil take me, if dou dosht not beleive it. I vill tell you phaat vill I say to you, a Cooncel is infalible; and I tell you, de Cardinals are infalible too, upon occaa∣sion, and dey are damn'd Heretick Dogs, by my shoulvaation, dat do not beleive every oord dey vill speak indeed.

Smerk.

I feel a flame within me, oh Love, Love, wether wilt thou carry me?

Priest.

Art thou in love Joy? by my shoule dou dosht Comitt fornicaation, I vill tell you it is a veniall Sinn, and I vill after be absolveing you for it: but if dou dosh Comitt Marrage, it is mortall, and dou vilt be damn'd and bee fait and trot. I predee now vill dou fornicate and not Marry: for my shaake now vilt dou fornicate.

Smerk.

Sure I am bewitch'd.

Priest.

Bewitch'd in love, Aboo! boo! I'le tell you now, you must taake de Womans* Shoe dat dou dosht Love sho, and dou must maak a Jaakes of it, dat is to shay, dou must lay a Sirreverence, and be in it, and it will maake cure upon dee.

Smerk.

Oh the Witch! the Witch! Mal. Spencer, I am struck in my Bowels, take Page  58〈1 page duplicate〉Page  59〈1 page duplicate〉Page  52 her away, there, oh! I have a Thousand Needles in me, take her away, Mal. Spencer.

Priest.

Phaare is shee, Mal. Spencer. Exercize te Conjure te in Nomine, &c.

He mutters and Crosses himself.
Smerk.

Oh, I have a Million of Needles Pricking my Bowels.

Priest.

I vill, set up a hubub for dee, help! help! who is dere? help, Aboo, boo, boo.

Enter Sir, Ieffery, and Lady, and Susan.
Smerk.

Oh Needles! Needles! Take away Mal. Spencer, take her away.

Sir, Ieff.

He is bewitch'd, some Witch has gotten his Image, and is tormenting it.

Priest.

Hold him, and I vill taak some course vid him, he is possess'd, or obess'd, I vill touch him vid some Relicks.

Susan.

Oh, good Sir, help him, what shall I do for him?

La. Sha.

Get some Lead melted (and holding over his body) power it into a Po∣ringer full of Water, and if there appear any image upon the Lead, then he is be∣witch'd.

This experiment is to be found in Mal. Mallific.
Priest.

Peash, I shay, here is shome of St. Phaatricks own Whisker, and some of the Snuff he did use to taak, dat did hang upon his Beard; here is a Tooth of St. Winifred, indeed, here is a Corn from de Toe of St. Ignatius, and here is de paring of his Nails too.

He rubs him with these Relicks.
Smerk.

Oh worse, worse, take her away.

Priest.

By my shoule it is a very strong Devil, I vill try some more, here is St. Caa∣terine de Virgins Wedding-Ring, here is one of St. Bridges Nipples of her Tuggs, by my shoule, here is some of de sweat of St. Francis, and here is a piece of St. Laurence's Grid∣iron, dese vill make Cure upon any shickness, if it be not ones lasht shickness.

Susan.

What will become of me, I have poyson'd him, I shall lose my Lover, and be hang'd into the bargain.

Smerk.

Oh! I dye, I dye, oh, oh.

Priest.

By my shoule it is a very strong Devil, a very aable Devil, I vill run and etch shome Holy-vater.

Ex. Priest.
Susan.

Look up, dear Sir, speak to me, ah woes me, Mr. Smerk, Mr. Smerk.

Sir Ieff.

This Irish-man is a Gallant man about Witches, he out does me.

La. Sha.

But I do not know what to think of his Popish way, his Words, his Charms, and Holy Water, and Relicks, methinks he is guilty of Witchcrast too, and you should send him to Goal for it.

Smerk.

Oh! oh!

Enter Priest with a Bottle of Holy-water.
Priest.

Now, I varrant you Joy, I vill do de Devil's business for him, now I have dis Holy-Vater.

The Bottle flies out of his hand.
Phaat is de matter now? phare is dis Devil dat does taak my Holy-Vater from me? He is afraid of it; I shee my bottle, but I do not shee de Devil does taake it. I vill Catch it from him.

The Bottle, as he reaches at it, flyes from him.
Sir Ieff.

This is wonderful!

Page  53
La. Sha.

Most amazing!

Priest.

Conjure te malum 〈◊〉, Conjure te pessir•• in 〈◊〉, redde mihi me•• (〈◊〉 Latime) Bottle, phaat vill I do? It is gone

It lyes quite away.
La. Sha.

'Tis strange: You se he does not fear holy-water.

Priest.

I tell you phaat is de matter, by my Shoule he vill touch de Bottle, be∣cause daat is not Consecrate; but, by my fait, he will not meddle vid de Vater. I vill ferch shome, I have in a Baashon.

He runs out and fetches a Bason of Water.
Susan.

He lyes as if he were a Sleep.

Smerk.

Oh! I begin to have some ease.

Priest.

I did never meet vid a Devil dat did Cosht so much Laabour before.

He throws Water in Smerks Fact.

Exercis te Demonens fuge, fuge, Exerciso te, per Melchefideck, per Bethlehem Gabor, per omne quod Exit in um seu Graecum sive Latinum.

Smerk.

I am much better now, and the Witch is gone.

Susan.

Good Sir retire to your Chamber, I will fetch some Cordials.

Smerk.

Sweet beautiful Creature! How I am Enamour'd with thee! Thy beauty dazles like the Sun in his Meridian.

Sir Ieff.

Beauty, Enamourd! Why he seems distracted still; lead him to his Cham∣ber, and let him rest.

Priest.

Now Joy, dosht dou shee, I have maade a Miracle by my shoule. Phen vill I shee one of your Church maake a Miracle, hoh? by my Shoulevaation dey cannot maake Miracles out of de Caatolick Church, I tell you now, hoh.

Mother Demdike enters invisible to them and boxes the Priest.

Phaat is de matter now, ah? by my shoule shomething does cuff upon my faash, an bee, Exercise te in omine, nomine, by my shoule Saatan, I vill pelt dee vid Holy-Vater in∣deed; he is Angry dat I did make a Miracle.

Mother Demdike gets behind him, and Kicks and Beats him.
La. Sha.

What is this, I hear the blows, and see nothing.

Sir Ieff.

So do I, I am frighted and amazed; lets fly.

Ex. Sir Jeff. and La.
Priest.

Oh, oh, vat is dis for Joy, oh, all my Holy-Vater is gone, I must fly.

He mutters and Crosses himself, and the Wuch beats him out.
Enter Bellfort and Isabella.
Bell.

All this day have I watched for this opertunity, let me improve it now. Con∣sider, Madam, my Extream Love to you, and your own harred to that Fool, for whom you are designed to morrow.

Isab.

My consent is to be had first.

Bell.

Your Fathers resentment of your refusal, may put you out of all possibillity of making me happy, or providing for your own Content.

Isab.

To Marry one against his Consent is a Crime heel ne're forgive.

Bell.

Though his Engagement to Sir Ieffery would make him Refuse his Consent beforehand: He is too reasonable a man to be troubled afterwards, at your Marrying to a better Estate, and to one that loves more than he can tell you: I have not words for it.

Page  62
Isab.

Though I must Confess you may deserve much better, would you not Ima∣gine I were very forward to receive you upon so short an Acquaintance.

Bell.

Would I had a Casement in my Breast. Make me not, by your delay, the miserablest wretch on Earth. (Which I shall ever be without you) think quickly Madam, you have not time to Consider long, I lay my self at your Feet, to be for ever made happy or miserable by you.

Isab.

How shall I be sure you'l not deceive me? These hasty vows, like Angry words, Seldom shoes the Heart.

Bell.

By all the Powers of Heaven and Earth.

Isab.

Hold, Swear not, I had better take a man of honour at his Word.

Bell.

And may Heaven throw its Curses on me when I break it; my Chaplin's in the House, and passes for my valet de Chambre. Will you for ever make me Hap∣py Madam?

Isab.

Ile trust your honour; and I'le make my self so; I throw my self upon you, use me nobly: now 'tis out.

Bell.

Use yee, as I would use my Soul; my Honour, my Heart, my Life, my Liberty, and all I have is yours. There's not a man in all the World, that I can envy now, or wish to be.

Isab.

Take care, we shall be spyed: The short time I have to resolve in, will, I hope, make you have a better Opinion of my modesty, than otherwise you would have occasion for.

Bell.

Dearest! Sweetest of Creatures! my Joy distracts me, I cannot speak to you.

Isab.

For Heavens sake leave me, if you raise a Jealously in the House I am ruin'd, we'll meet soon.

Bell.

Adieu my Life! my Soul! I am all obedience.

Exit. Bellfort.
Enter Theodosia.
Isab.

Oh my Dear, I am happy, all's out that pained me so; my Lover knows I love him.

Theo.

I have Confessed to my Ghostly Father too, and my Conscience is at ease.

Isab.

Mine received the news with more Joy, than he Could put in Words.

Enter Sir Ieffery, Lady, and Sir Timothy.
Theo.

And mine in rapture; I am the happiest Woman Living.

Isab.

I'le not yeild to you at all in that.

Theo.

There's no cause, I would not submit to you in, but this my Dear.

Isab.

I will hold out in this cause while I have breath, I am happier in my Choyce than all the World can make me.

Theo.

Mine is the Hansomest, Wittiest, most accomplisht Gentleman—

Isab.

Mine is the beautifullest, sweetest, well-shap'd, well-bred, wittiest Gentleman—

Sir Tim.

That must be I, whom she means, for all my Quarrels with her.

La. Sha.

Peace, we shall hear more.

Theo.

Little think our Fathers how happy we shall be to morrow.

Sir Ieff.

What's that? Listen.

Page  63
Isab.

(If no unlucky Accident should hinder us) we shall be farr happier than they can Imagine.

Theo.

How we have Cheated them all this while!

Isab.

'Slife they are behind us, stirr not. We have hidden our love from them all this while.

La. Sha.

Have you so? but we shall find it now.

aside
Isab.

Your Brother Little thinks I Love him so; For I have been Cross and coy to him on purpose. I shall be the happiest Woman in him, I am to have, that ever was.

Theo.

I could wish your Brother lov'd me as well as mine does you. For never Wo∣man loved the man she was to Marry as I do him, I am to have to morrow.

Sir Ieff.

That's my best Daughter, thou wert ever a good Child, nay blush no, all is out, we heard ye both.

Sir Tim.

Ay, all is out, my pretty Dear dissembler: well, I protest and vow, I am mightily obliged to you for your great love to me, and good opinion of me.

La. Sha.
I hope to morrow will be a happy day for both our families.
Enter Sir Edward, Bellfort and Doubty, and Musicians.

Oh Sir Edward, is not that strange I told you, I should not have beleived it if I had not seen it.

Sir Edw.

And pray give me the same liberty: But now wee'l have some musick, that's good against inchantment, Sing me the Song I Commanded you, and then wee'l have a dance before we go to bed.

Song
Enter Priest.
Priest.

Hoh, 'tis a pretty Shong, but I vill shing a brave Cronan now, dat is better I tell you.

He Sings.
Sir Edw.

'Tis very fine but sing me one Song more in three parts, to sweeten our Ears, for all that.* Why what's the matter? you gape and make faces, and do not sing, what's the matter, are you mad?

Priest.

Doe you play, play I say, Oh they are bewitch'd, I vill shay no more.

Sir Edw.

Play I say.

Music.

I can't, my Arms are on the sudden stiff as marble, I cannot move them.

They hold up their bows, but cannot play. Exit. Priest.
Sir. Edw.

Sure this is roguery, and Confederacy.

Priest.

Conjuro te conjuro in nonime, &c.

The Priest. come in with Holy-Water and slings it upon them So long till they run out roaring▪
Sir Edw.

Hold, hold, prethee don't duck us all we are not all bewitch'd.

Priest.

I tell you it ish good for you an bee, and vill defend you upon occasion.

Sir Ieff.

Now you see, Sir, with your own Eyes; cannot you give us a Receipt to make Holy-water?

Priest.

A Resheit, aboo, boo, boo; by my Shoule he is a Foole. I have ma••e Page  62〈1 page duplicate〉Page  63〈1 page duplicate〉Page  56 two Hogsheads gra: and I vill have you vash all de Rooms vid it, and de Devill vill not come upon de plaash by my Shalvaation.

Bell.

'Tis a little odd; but however, I shall not fly from my Belief, that every thing is done by Natural Causes, because I cannot presently assign those Causes.

Sir Edw.

You are in the right, we know not the powers of matter.

Doubt.

When any thing unwonted happens, and we not see the cause, we call it unnatural and miraculous.

Priest.

By my Shoule you do talke like Heretick-Dogs, and Aathiests.

Sir Edw.

Let us enquire farther about these Musicians.

Priest.

I vill maake shome Miracles, and I think I vill be after reconcileing dem indeed, oh dou damn'd vitch.

Ex. all but Priest.
Now I doe shee dee I vill beat upon dee vid my Beads
Mother Dick▪ rises up, and boxes him, be strikes her with Beads, and see him with her Staff, and beats him out.
and Crucifix, oh, oh, shee is a damn'd Protestant He∣retick Vitch, daat is de reason she vill not fly, oh, oh, oh.

Ex. Priest.
Enter Tom Shaklehead, and Clod, in the Field.
Tho. Sha.

Byr Lady 'tis meeghty strong Ale, Ay am well neegh drunken, and my Nephew will bee stark wood, his Hawkes want their Pidgeon saw this neeght.

Clod.

Why what wouden yeow bee a Angee? Flesh, Ay ha getten de Bridle byr Lady, Ayst ma some body carry mee, and bee my Titt too.

Tom.

Thou'rt a strange Fillee (Horse I should say) why didst thou think thou wast a Titt when th' Bridle was on thee.

Clod.

Ay marry, I know weel I am sure, I wott I was a Titt, a meere Titt.

Tom.

Listen, there's a noise of women in the Ayr, it comes towards us.

Clod.

Ay by th'Mass, 'tis Witches.

Witches above.
Here this way, no that way, make haste, follow the Dame, we shall be too late, 'tis time enough; away, away, away.

Tom.

Wawnds and Flesh it is a flock of Witches byr Lady, they come reeght ore head, I'st let fly at 'em, hah, be th' mass I ha mamed one, heres one has a wing brocken at least.

He shoots, M. Spencer shrieks, and falls down.
Clod.

M. Spencer by th' mass.

M. Spen.

O Rogues! I'le be revenged on you, Dogs, Villains, you have broken my Arm.

Clod.

I was made a Horse, a Titt by thee, by th' mass I'st be revenged o'thee.

He puts the Bridle upon her.
Horse, Horse, be thou to me.
And carry me where e're I flee.
He flies away nyon her.
Tom.

O'ds Flesh, what's this? I connot believe my Sences; I mun walk home alone, but I'le charge my Peice again byr Lady, and the Haggs come agen I'st have t'other Shoot at 'em.

Ex. Tom. Shack.
Page  59 The Scene returns to Sir Edwards House.
Enter Bellfort and Doubty.
Bell.

My Dear Friend, I am so transported with excess of Joy, it is become a pain, I cannot bear it.

Doubt.

Dear Bellfort! I am in the same Case, but (if the hope transports us so) what will Enjoyment do?

Bell.

My Blood is chill, and shivers when I think on't.

Doubt.

One night with my Mistress would outweigh an Age of Slavery to come.

Bell.

Rather than be without a nights Enjoyment of mine, I would be hang'd next morning: I am Impatient till they appear.

Doubt.

They are Women of Honour, and will keep their Words; your Parson's ready, and three or four of our Servants for Witnesses.

Bell.

He is so, 'twill be dispatch'd in half a quarter of an hour, all are retired to bed.

Enter Lady Shacklehead.
Doubt.

Go in, yonders my Lady-Mother-in-Law coming, I must contrive a way to secure her: in, in.

Bell.

I go.

Doubt.

Death, that this old Fellow should be asleep already! she comes now to discover, what I know too well already.

La. Sha.

He is there I'le swear, a punctual Gentleman, and a person of much honour; Sir, I am come according to your appointment; Sir Ieffery is fast.

Doubt.

'Tis before I expected, Madam, I thought to have left Bellfort asleep, who is a Jealous man, and believes there is an Intrigue betwixt your Ladiship and me.

La. Sha.

I vow: ha, ha, ha, me! no, no; ha, ha, ha.

Doubt.

Retire for a short time, and when I have secured him, I'le wait on you; but let it be i'th' dark.

La. Sha.

You speak like a Discreet and Worthy Person, remember this Room, there's no body lies in it; I will stay there in the dark for you.

Ex. Lady.
Doubt.

Your most humble Servant. Well, I will go to the Ladies Chamber as if I istook it for mine, and let them know this is the time.

Enter Tegue O Divelly.
Priest.

Dere is shometimes de pretty Wenches, doe walke here in de dark at night, and by my Shoulvaation if I doe catch one, I vill be after enjoying her Body: and fait and trot I have a great need too, it is a venial Sin, and I do not care.

Doubt.

Death, who is here? stay Ladies, here's the damn'd Priest in the way.

Enter Doubty with a Candle.
Page  58
Isab.

Go you, wee'l follow by and by in the dark.

The Ladies retire, Doubty goes to his Chamber.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

I hear one trampling, he is come already, sure Bellfort is asleep; who is there?

Priest.

By my Shoul it is a Womans speech, 'tis I; where are you? by my fait I vill maak a Child upon her Body.

La. Sha.

Mr. Doubty.

Priest.

Ay, let me put a sweet Kish upon dy hand Joy, and now I vill Shalute dy Mout, and I vill embraash dy Body too indeed.

La. Sha.

S'life, I am mistaken, this is the Irish Priest; his understanding is sure to betray him.

Priest.

I predee now Joy be not nishe, I vill maak shome good sport vid dee in∣deed.

La. pulls her hand away, and flies.
Hoo now, phaare is dy hand now? oh,
Enter Mother Dickenson and puts her hand into the Priests.
Here it is by my Shoule.

I vill use dee braavely upon occaasion, I vill tell you, predee kish me upon my Faash now, it is a braave kish indeed.

The Witch kisses him.

By my Shoul don art very hansome, I doe know it, dough I cannot shee dee. I predee now retire vid me, aboo, aboo, by my Shoule dis is a Gaalant occaasion, come Joy.

Ex. Priest and Witch.
Enter Lady.
La. Sha.

What's the meaning of this? he talked to some Woman, and kissed her too, and is retired into the Chamber I was in.

Enter Isab. and Theo.
Isab.

Every thing is quiet, I hear no noise.

Theo.

Nor I, this is the happy time.

La. Sha.

This must be he; who's there?

Theo.

S'life! this is my Mothers voice, retire softly.

Isab.

Oh Misfortune! What makes her here? we are undone if she discovers us.

La. Sha.

Whose there I say? will you not answer? what can this mean? 'tis not a Wench I hope for Doubty, and then I care not.

Isab. and Theo. retire.
Enter Priest and Witch.

I am impatient till he comes; ha, whom have we here? I am sure this is not he, he does not come that way.

Priest.

By my shoul Joy, dou art a Gaalant peece of Flesh, a braave Bedfellow, phoo art dou?

Dick.

One that loves you dearly.

Priest.

Phaat vill I doe to shee dy faash I wonder? Oh, here is a light approaching unto us.

La. Sha.

Who's this with a light? I must fly.

Ex. La. Sha.
Page  59 Enter Susn with a Candle.
Priest.

Now I vill shee dy faash.

Susan.

O, Sir, are you there? I am going to Mr. Smirk with this Candle poor man.

Priest.

O phaat have I done? Oh! de Vich! de Vich!

The Witch sinks, she lets fall the Candle and Candle, and runs a∣way shrieking.
Susan.

Oh! the Witch! the Witch!

Priest.

By my Shoule I have had communicaation and Copulaation too vid a Succubus; Oh! phaat vill I do! phaat vill I do! by my fait and trot, I did tought shee had been a braave and gaallant Lady, and bee, oh! oh!

Ex. Priest.
Enter Lady Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

What shriek was that? hah! here's nobody, sure all's clear now!

Enter Isabella, Theodosia.
Isab.

I heard a shriek, this is the time to venture, they are frighted out of the Gal∣lery, and all's clear now.

Theo.

Let's venture; we shall have people stirring very early this morning to pre∣pare for the Wedding else.

La. Sha.
Ha! who's that?
Isab. and Theo. creep softly into Belforts and Doubty's Chamber.
I am terribly afraid: Heaven!
what's this! the Chamber door open'd, and I saw a woman
〈◊〉 in, I am enraged, I'le distrub 'em.

Isabella, The dosia, Bellfort, Doubty disguis'd, Parson and Servants in the Chamber.

Isab.

You see we are women of words, and women of courage too, that dare venture upon this dreadful business.

Bell.

Welcom, more welcom than all the Treasures of the Sea and Land.

Doubt.

More welcom than a Thousand Angels.

Theo.

Death! we are undone, one knocks.

La. Shack, knocks.
Bell.

Curse on 'em; keep the door fast.

La. Sha.

Gentlemen open the door for Heavens sake, quickly.

Isab.

Open it, we are ruined else; wee'l into the Bed, you know what you have to do.

They cover themselves. Enter La. Shacklehead.
La. Sha.

Gentlemen, the House is alarm'd with Witches, and I saw two come into this Chamber, and come to give you notice.

Bell.

Here are none but whom you see.

Doubt.

They come invisibly then; for we had our eyes on the door.

La. Sha.

Are they not about the Bed somewhere? Let's search.

Bell.

There are no Witches there, I can assure you.

La. Sha.

Look a little, I warrant you.

Sir Jeffery knocks without.
Sir Ieff.

Open the door quickly, quickly, the Witches are there.

La. Sha.

Oh! my Husband, I am ruin'd if he sees me here.

Doubt.

Put out the Candles,

He enters, and stumbles up∣on the Servant.
lye down before the door.

Page  58
Sir Ieff.

Oh! Oh! I have broken my knees; this is the Witches doing: I have loast my Wife too: lights, lights there.

La. Sha.

Ile not stay here.

She creeps out softly.
Isab.

Here's no staying for us.

Theo.

Quickly, go by the Wall.

They steal on.
Sir Ieff.

For Heavens sake let's into the Gallery and call for lights.

Bell.

A Curse upon this Fellow and all ill luck.

Doubt.

Hell take him, the Ladies are gone too.