An historical romance of the wars between the mighty giant Gallieno, and the great knight Nasonius, and his associates

CHAP. V. How the Luyslandian Herald went to all the Associates challenging them to fetch the Lady Victoria out of King Gallieno's Hands. And what answer he brought back: As also of the solemn Marriage of that Lady with King Gallieno at Tutelia. (Book 5)

THE Herald having receiv'd his Commission sets forward on his Jour∣ney: And first he went to the Court of the great Austriaco, Emperor of Regomania; and when he came to deliver his Message, he found him play∣ing a Lesson upon the Lute; and he was so attentive to his Musick, that tho' the Herald repeated his Embassy twice or thrice over, he hardly heard him; and when with much ado he rightly understood him, he told him he was a troublesome fellow to disturb his Recreation, and, That as for the Lady Victo∣ria she was such a ticklish Mistress, and had so often deceiv'd his Expectation and scorn'd his Courtship when he fought against the Half-Moon of the great Emperor Magog; and on divers other occasions had so taken his Master's part, that he did not think it worth his intermitting his Musical Recreation, nor his wearying himself with so long a Journey, much less to meddle with fighting for her; in which kind of harsh and untuneable Musick he had no Skill. And so without any kind of respect due to such publick Messages he bid him be gone, and that neither his Master nor he shou'd trouble him any more with such Impertinencies.

Next he went to the great King, Don Ibero Formalitoso, and requested one of his Court-Officers to acquaint his Majesty, that there was an Herald come from the mighty Giant King Gallieno, who demanded Audience, but the strutting Courtier drawling out every Syllable with a most formal Gravity, answer'd him, that his Illustrious Majesty was playing at Shuttle-cock, with some Court Ladies, and was yet in Querpo, and that it was against the highest Punctilio's of Honour to disturb so great a King in his Pastimes, especially being de Scompuesto. After many tedious delays, he obtain'd Audience, but not till Don Formalitoso was accoutred in his Royal Habiliments, and seat∣ed with great Solemnity in his Chair of State with all the Lords of his Court attending him. To whom when the Herald had declared his Message, and deliver'd his Letters; Don Ibero Formalitoso with his hands on his sides, and a

Mien overlooking all the Company, proudly answered, That it was very easie for him with a puff of his Breath to blow King Gallieno out of Tutelia; but that it did not become the High Majesty of the great King of Iberia to gad out of his Country upon any account whatever. And as for the Lady Victoria, she had played him so ma∣ny slippery trickss in Calatonia, that he wondred how she durst write to the greatest King in the World, having so often, and so shamefully disoblig'd him, and so with the waving of his Hand he signified his Pleasure that he should be gone.

From thence he went to the noble Duke of Bawwawia, whom he found in Company of the rest of the Associates, as Tricongio, &c. Who were all assembled together to consult how they might quell the mighty Giant Gallieno. But they were so high in their Cups, and so distem∣per'd with Drinking, that he did not think it seasonable to deliver such an honourable Embassy to Men whose reason was totally drown'd in Wine. Wherefore he staid two or three days longer, hoping by that time he might take them in some Lucid Interval, but he still found them in the same pickle: So that a Friend of his advis'd him, That if he would needs stay till they are all perfectly Sober, it was his best course to hire a House, to save the charges in an Inn. Yet he obtain'd of his Friend to acquaint them in the Case they were in, on what Message he came. When one of them, who scarce half understood it, taking it to be some high Compliment sent them by the Persons mention'd; to shew he was a generous Foe, and a Man of Honour; after two or three Yawns, having a well-fill'd Glass in his Hand, began a Health to King Gallieno,, and his Fair Lady; which they all took down very glibly: But not a Man of them remembred what they had done or said, the next Morning. At last he heard that they were all to assem∣ble again the Morrow after at Nine; at which time he hop'd it would be a proper season to deliver his Embassy. But they no sooner me••, but they leapt on their Horses (with great troops hallooing and hooting after them) to hunt the wild Boar for nine or ten days. So that the Herald, fearing that the time allow'd him for his return would be e∣laps'd; and knowing, that to Lovers, Delays are tedious, would not stay to wait their coming back, but thought sit to haste homewards, taking the Hydra in his way. Where, when he arriv'd, he found some of the Heads counting their Money; others adjusting their Book-Reckon∣ings; some chaffering for Merchandize; others ba••ie about repairing Old rotten Shi••s, and building New Ones, and some of them too, Pickling Herrings. As for their Answer, as the Hydra has many Heads, so they

were of divers Sentiments. Many cry'd out, Let King Gallieno keep Victoria, if he will, what is that to us? This Fighting does but spoil our Trade, and our Markets. But the generality of the greatest Heads said, they were busie, and his Errand foolish; For he mistook them, They were not Land-Rats but Water-Rats: But if King Gallieno, who has such a rare Talent at cutting Rivers through the dry-land, wou'd but be at the Charge and Pains, to make the Sea Navigable as far as Tutelia, he shou'd then see what they would do; but, that sure, he could not think them such Fools as to run Knight-Erranting to free Fair Ladies: not they: Let such light Ware sink or swim, or hang, it is all one to them: Profit and Money is all they care for; and that if they could be sure to lose nothing by King Gallieno, or to gain any thing by him, they were his humble Servants.

He had also a particular Audience of Nasonius; who, when he had heard the Message, and read the Letters, answered surlily, That Victo∣ria might have kept her self well with him whilst she was well, and not to have run to the Luyslandian Court to learn to cut Capers: And for his part, he was not in an humour to run as far as Tutelia to fetch back such a Baggage. And lastly, That since he could not keep her while he had her, he had set up his Resolution, never hereafter to venture him∣self in any Battle to catch her again; but would continue his Ambiti∣on to stand still, and look on, and let them fight who were so fool-hardy.

The well bred Herald wondred at his Incivility, and much more at this strange resolution of a Knight who profest himself a Warriour, and a General. So parting thence, he posted to the Court of Tutelia; and gave an account very particularly of his sleeveless Embassy, and the re∣spective Answers, or No Answers of the several Associates: which made the two Royal Lovers smile, and gave the whole Court plentiful occa∣sion of divertisement, to see what valiant, gentile, pretty-humour'd E∣nemies he had to deal with. And now all rubs being smooth'd, Prepa∣ration was made for solemnizing the Marriage the Week after; which was celebrated with all the Gallantry imaginable. The Particulars of which were so extraordinary, that it would over-task the best Wit in the World to express them to the Life, in their due order as they were perform'd. Only I cannot omit the Epithalamium made by Philopom∣pus, and sung by a Consort of most harmonious Voices, which was this,

I.

Caelestial Spirits that tune th' Harmonious Spheres, With Charming musick strike the Ears, Of this great Croud that Celebrate The Marriage of the happy Pair: Gallieno the Great, Victoria the Fair: Rulers both of War and State. May ill chance never Their Vnion sever; Nor sneaking Treachery their Loves undermine: But firm accord, In Deed and Word, In Honour and Truth, their Noble Hearts Combine.

II.

Mars and Bellona joyn'd and Link'd in one Can ne'r by force be overthrown: Wise Conduct guiding their Designs, No Multitude of distructed Foes Envying their Greatness, spreads, and grows, Can work them any Countermine. The Associates, Weak Kings, base States, Whose scatter'd, ill-knit Raggs of unjust War, To the Worlds wonder, Torn asunder, Shall turn their Braggs, and Folly to Despair.

III.

May Golden Glories circle their bright Throne; And joyn their Foes Crowns to their own; Fair-Ey'd Peace on their Victory wait; Peace! Of all just VVar the sole End, Tho' War alone to Peace can the Obstinate bend. Kindness they abuse, Who Peace refuse, So nobly offer'd when he cou'd by Force subdue. And may they Live Crowns to regive To injur'd Princes, who for their Protection sue.