Ignoramus a comedy as it was several times acted with extraordinary applause before the Majesty of King James : with a supplement which, out of respect to the students of the common law, was hitherto wanting / written in Latine by R. Ruggles ... ; and translated into English by R. C. ...

The first Prologue before the KING, March 8. Anno 1614. (Book 1)

Enter Cursor, the Horse of the Muses named Davus Dromo, with the Keeper of him.

Curs.

DId any see hereabouts the Horse of the Muses? Just now as I passed by the Caballin Foun∣tain, the Muses desired me to seek after him, this way am I sent, and that way the keeper of him.

Keep.

Boy canst thou tell me any tydings of a Horse that's stray'd this way.

Boy.

I hear nothing of him.

Curs.

It were your best way therefore to cry him.

Keep.

You say well, O yes, O yes, The Horse of the Muses hath lately strayed away, by name Davus Dromo, who is halfe a Man, and all a Horse, a beast with two Heads, the one a great one, and very bald, with very long and large Ears, a red Nose, wide Mouth, and blabber Lips, a short discoloured Mayne, Gauled Back, and running Scratches on his fore-feet, of several Colours, with a round black spot in the buttock of him; if any man will either return him, or bring tidings of him, he shall have his thanks for his pains, and as many Mares as he will.

Curs.

Nay, that is like enough, for the Muses Horse is a lusty and a noted Stallion.

The Horse Enters.

Keep.

Look—here he is, with a Pox to him; Good Boy help us to catch him.

Curs.

How he layes about him with his Heels.

Keep.

Let us use him gently and drive him softly into yonder corner, Holla, Boy, Holla, softly to him. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Messe, Ho Dave, Ho, Messe, Ho Dromo, Ho, Messe Dave, Dro∣mo Ho.

Keep.

Ah wicked beast, what wilt thou run away? thy name shall be no more Davus Dromo, but Dromedary.

Curs.

I would he was turning the wheele in a Brewhouse.

Keep.

What dost thou bite?

Curs.

And wince, and kick with a bots to you?

Keep.

He longs to be soundly basted, but I shall tame him by and by, or— Ha, Ha, He, as I led him just now to watering to the Muses well, he forcibly brake from me, and said he would speak the Prologue here; When he was a Man, the bold knave would be thrusting himself alwaies into the company of the Nobi∣lity, and being now a beast he doth as impudently affect it.

Curs.

Out upon him Monster.

Keep.

He was a Man at first but having no more wit in him then a Horse, the angry Muses being every day vexed with him did transform him into a man Caballin.

Horse.

You set me forth like an Ass, no matter—Ile speak the Prologue for all that.

Curs.

What you speak the prologue? and a prologue in La∣tine too?

Horse.

And why not I, who understand all Languages, the Greek, the Latine, the French, the Castiliana, the Italiana, the Dutch and the Polack.

Keep.

He neigheth pretty handsomely, but speaketh nothing at all.

Horse.

Pugh, I have received letters from the Ambassadors of Princes with whom I have lived in extraordinary familiarity, for though I am a Horse I would have you know I am a Horse politick.

Keep.

And sometimes a Horse Ecclesiasticall, the Dean of Dunstable.

Horse.

Yes, and came gratis to that place without Simony; for I would have you know that I am learned; for once I was shut up all day long being extre••mly hungry in a library. And being but a Horse, with great appla••se I disputed with Doctor Horseman in several languages for my degree, and now I hope to be a graduate.

Curs.

Yes, from a Horse you shall take the degree of an Ass.

Horse.

Know you not that Caligula did design the Consulship to a Horse, and cloathed him with purple?

Keep.

That was a swift, gallant mettald Horse, thou art but a dull Jade.

Horse.

I a dull Jade? who have Gallopped through so many Countries, and the most of them without any bayting at all; why for swiftnesse, I dare challenge all the best Race horses of the Noble men here present, either Franklin, or Puppy, or pepper corn, or Cropears, or Snow-ball, or Saucy Jack, or Bald Tryngham, Mouse, Freck, Spaniard, Pegge with a Lantern, Strawberies and Cream, or if there be any other, and at any Race, whither Royston-race, Brackly-race, Gutterly, Coddington, Sibblecoats or any place what∣soever, and if I bear not the Bell away, do not only call me curt-tayle but make me too so. And if you have a mind to any fine feats tricks, or predictions or divinations, I will not refuse any Horse fatidicall, or magical, for I am a Caball Cabalistical.

Curs.

Say you so, then tell me who loves a handsome Wench the best of all this Company?

Horse.

That I can do, and wink.

Curs.

Tell me who then?

Horse.

The greatest part here present, but they especially that would seem to be the demurest and smile not at all.

Keep.

What you, your self have been smitten in love heretofore.

Horse.

Nay others have been deeply in love with me, many fair Women have desired the familiarity of my Company.

Keep.

He speaks the truth, for his mistresse heretofore in pure love, did carry his saddle up and down on her own head, but tell me, will there be any good sport and laughing in this Comedy.

Horse.

There will be laughing sure, if there be any laughing.

Keep.

But will it please?

Horse.

And if it will please them, it will please.

Keep.

But what will they say of the play it self?

Hors.

Why, they will say there are every day better playes to be seen for mony at London, and that the Comedies are here spoyled by the two strict observance of the laws of Comedy.

K.

What will be their censure of the Actors?

Horse.

That Academians are pitiful Actors.

Keep.

But who amongst all the Actors will be most commended?

Horse.

Who but Davus Dromo the most noble, and most famous Horse in all the Universe.

Keep.

How can that be?

Horse.

A good Horse hath alwaies favourers enough to com∣mend him.

Keep.

This Cabal now thinks himself as witty, as if he were another sextus Caballus.

Curs.

He that fools himself with a petulant mirth, is not sextius, but caballus.

Keep

But will no man buy this ridiculous Horse?

Curs.

Let me passe my ••udgement on him (he looks in his Mouth like a Horse courser) but he is old, he is strong-dockt howsoever and hath a good tayle.

Horse.

My ta••le is large, and spreading enough, I drive away the flies from the Muses with it.

Keep.

Thou art but a fly thy self, and uninvited flyest to other mens tables.

Curs.

He is heavy and worth nothing lead him away.

I will speak the prologue first.

Keep.

No No, it is needlesse, those who come first upon the stage will open the Argument themselves.

Horse.

Pugh, but they will be too serious in it.

Keep.

After the first scene, which almost containes the sum of the plot, there will be almost nothing that is serious at all.

Horse.

The scene is said to be laid in Burdeaux where I my self have been heretofore, and that you are to act Surda the deaf Dwarfe, the Maid of Torcol.

Curs.

I am so much the happyer, for then I shall not hear them, if peradventure they shall hisse at me.

Horse.

And that the name of the play is Ignoramus.

Curs.

Ignoramus, we are like then to have a gallant Comedy when he is to pronounce his sentence on it, on whose Action alone the whole Fortune of the play depends?

Horse.

Let me then be the prologue, for Ignoramus the lawyer and I are near of Kin.

Keep.

And well you may be, you speak Latine both alike.

Curs.

But this Horse more barbarously of the two, for the time to come therefore you shall not be the Muses horse, but the horse of barbarous Ignoramus.

Horse.

Yours howsoever, but I will speak the prologue come! what will of it.

Keep.

Oh impudence! you speak the prologue, you a prologue I shall—

Horse.

I know my own abilities and conceits, I will speak the prologue.

Curs.

Give him leave then, and if he doth not speak it well, beat him off the stage.

Keep.

Begin.

Horse.

Since that, since that—

Keep.

Since that? most comically spoken, what do you saulter thus in the very first words, since that.

Horse.

Since that Comedy is the glasse of humane life, and in the comedies of the Ancients there is much wit, which in me (candid Judges) I acknowledge to be very little; as—for example— watch I call—Pindarus.

Keep.

Pindarus▪ do you thus Pindarize? Mouth of a horse be dumb, what is it you are now thinking on.

Horse.

Thinking oftentimes upon the prologue.

Keep.

Not a word more, I shall make it prove an Epilogue.

Curs.

Take him hence he is obstinately stubborn, and unruly;

K.

But I shall overcome his stubbornesse.

Horse.

O times, and manners! whither (my Judges) shall I turn me in this crosse and fayling Age of prologues.

Keep.

Are you still muttering, will you never find the way out, Allons.

Horse.

I have washed my mouth in the Cabal in Fountain, and well can sing a pegaseian melody, the master of Art and giver of Wit I Davus Dromo.

Curs.

Davus disturbeth all things.

Keep.

But I shall master him to obedience and silence, boy hold him fast, whiles I

(they put ••annacles on his Nose)

Hem—he is now close enough; now you will be quiet, speak your prologue now?

Horse.

I will be the prologue for all this.

K.

A pure prologue-speaker and of a clean free Nostril.

Horse.

Well well, if I do not bast your errand to the Muses—

K.

They threatned to day to run you through with their Forks; I will now lead you whither you are worthy to go, to Ignoramus who alwaies henceforth shall ride on you.

Exeunt Horse, Keeper and Boy.

Curs.

Da veniam subitis, non displicuisse meretur,

Festinat (Caesar) qui plecuisse tibi. Pardon (Dread Leige) such suddain things as these, He merits not t'offend who strives to please.