Matrimoniall honovr, or, The mutuall crowne and comfort of godly, loyall, and chaste marriage wherein the right way to preserve the honour of marriage unstained, is at large described, urged, and applied : with resolution of sundry materiall questions concerning this argument / by D.R. ...

Matrimoniall Honour: OR A TREATISE OF MARRIAGE.

HEBREVVS 13. 5.

Marriage is honourable, and the bed undefiled: but Whoremongers and Adulterers, God will judge.

CHAP. I.

The Analyse of the Text. The first point handled, That Marriage is honourable.

WHAT the peculiar aime of Saint Paul in this Epistle might be,* 1.1 in the enterlacing of a solemn praise of mar∣riage betweene the fourth and the sixt verse of this Chapter (which are of another garbe and nature) may per∣haps seeme questionable to a Reader, not observant of the circumstances of times and persons. Sure it is, that the Apostles scope is very orderly and familiar. For having in the former Chapter propounded the Doctrine of justifica∣tion in the causes thereof, both matter & forme; and having also very effectually built thereon that great exhortation, to

beleeve, and to live by faith. In the chapter before this, he proceeds to the urging of obedience and holinesse,* 1.2 in the generall: and in this 13. chapter he proceeds to particula∣rize and instance in some speciall, and some personall offi∣ces and acts of Christian practice. But for the question mo∣ved, what should cause the Apostle to thinke this argument of Marriage as weighty as the rest, and to equall it to other Doctrines handled in this place; may be supposed, not to be from a common notion, swimming with other things in his minde, and uttered by course: but, probably from some oc∣casion of reall and present necessity moving him. I will pro∣pound what seemes to me the truth. There were at the time of writing this Epistle, two sorts and practices of men very rife, and that of contrary intention; the one of heathenish prophanenesse, the other of Iewish superstition: the Hea∣thens, as they thought single fornication no sinne at all (as appeared by their common practice of it;) and adultery it selfe, none of the greatest sinnes; so, they sleighted all de∣nunciations of Gods wrath and judgement against either; and snorted securely in the practice of both. The Iew, on the contrary extreame, comes in with his Superstition, as thinking there is no way to controll this impiety, save by maintaining a flat contrariety unto it, viz. That Marriage it selfe is unlawfull.* 1.3 Paul himselfe taxeth such false teachers, Forbidding to marry, that is, crossing Gods owne ordinance, provided for the safeguard of chastity. Much like the Pa∣pists at this day,* 1.4 sundry of whose positions favour of no other straine, then to oppose one errour by a farre worse. As, be∣cause they see mens lives very barren of good workes, they have no other way to draw men to be forward in weldoing, then by a false Doctrine, that workes are meritorious. Like∣wise, finding fault with mens backwardnesse to Mortificati∣on; in Policy, they devise such Penances of the flesh as God never ordained, to whip themselves with cords beset with needles, and sharpe pricks, or to stand up naked to the chin in cold water, or to fast from all kinde of flesh, to goe bare∣foot on pilgrimage, to renounce the world, sell all, and live in a Cloister. This mystery of iniquity wrought early, even

here in the mindes of superstitious Iewes and false teachers, who found no way to alay the flame, save by quenching the fire: and therefore, to quash heathenish contempt of mar∣riage by whoredome, or the corrupting thereof by Adul∣tery, they affirme no marriage or carnall knowledge at all, to be allowed to Christians; which remedy is much worse then the disease; as if the life of Divels (adultery) could be overthrowne by the doctrine of Divels,* 1.5 which is, defiance of marriage. We see this stopping of the streame, hath in all ages doubled the rage of all kinde of uncleannesse. Here therefore, the Apostle, that he might oppose both these ex∣tremities: first, the superstition of the Iew, tels him, Marri∣age is honourable; and therefore an ungodly thing to disanull an ordinance. And the bed is undefiled: there is no necessity of making our selves Eunuches, to avoid unchastenesse. And on the other side, to the Heathenish, or lately converted from Pagan prophanenesse, this he addes, But Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge:* 1.6 q. d. Let no man strengthen himselfe in his adultery or filthinesse, under pretext of the lawfulnesse of carnall knowledge: for why? whether men goe to common harlots, and defile virgins more openly, as Whoremongers; or goe to worke more covertly, shrowding their sinne by the Married estate; although for a time, they may defile or be defiled, without feare or checke: yet, they must know, that the God of marriage and purenesse, will one day in person sit upon them, and shew his detestation of such wayes, by plaguing them, be they great or small, high or lowe, Princes or Pesants. As once Latimer, that holy Mar∣tyr, upon an handkerchiefe with a booke wrapt up in it, and presented to a King, wrote this very text for a posie, Fornica∣tores & Adulteros judicabit Dominus.

The words then containe in them a Discretive proporti∣on;* 1.7 the which divides it selfe into two truths; either an as∣sertive, or denouncing truth: onely there must be concei∣ved to be a secret defect of the words in them both, which must be supplied for the making up of a full meaning. Touch∣ing the Assertion first, its two fold; the one concerning the Ordinance it selfe, Marriage is honourable; the other respect∣ing

the use of it; And the bed is undefiled (for so I read it accor∣ding to the Text and scope.) The second truth denouncing, divides it selfe into two parts; either a Threat, or the ob∣ject thereof: the Threat is against the corrupters of marri∣age, God will judge them. The object is double; first, fornica∣tors, such as mixe unlawfully with the single, either harlots or virgins, making these whores, or nourishing them that are so, in their trade. Or else Adulterers, who (although ei∣ther of the parties married, cause adultery) yet being married, doe linke themselves with other mens wives, for the concealement of their villanie, and so of bastardy. Both these, the one for his manifest and open, the other his sub∣till and close uncleanenesse, shall be adjudged by God him∣selfe. The conceived defect of the sentence, lyeth in the opposition of the parts, thus, viz, Marriage is honourable, the bed is undefiled, and blessing is upon all that so preserve it. But Whoremongers and Adulterers are dishonourable, debauched ones, and God will curse and plague them. I will go through both the parts, God assisting: and first of the first.

* 1.8Marriage is honorable: and that for foure respects: first, in the parts of it: secondly, in the nature of it: thirdly, in the use of it: fourthly, in the quality or sacrednesse of it. For the parts of it,* 1.9 if the marriage is best where the parts of it are so (in concreto at least) the wife and the husband, both pre∣cious peeces. Of the wife we have sundry Scriptures for her honourablenesse:* 1.10 she is called the gift of God: its the use of the holy Ghost to stile excellent things, Gods things, as the Mount of God, the city of God, the house of God, the garden of God: because excellency cannot owne any thing which is base: Gods greatnesse gives no common gifts, so that a wife is no common blessing:* 1.11 she is Gods woman, not onely made by God, as she is his creature alone (so by sinne she both lost her owne,* 1.12 and her husbands royalty also:) But, as shee is made up againe by Gods grace, to a better image then shee lost; and so, honorable by a second creation: yea, restored to man with advantage, much better then she first brought unto him in Paradise. By this meane, she becomes an helpe instead of a snare, a true gift of God, an excellent peece, for

which a man may blesse God while he lives.* 1.13 This, I say, in the first place, as the chiefe ground of her honour: and yet this is not all; she is called the crowne of her husband, both by Salomon (using that word) and by Saint Paul, calling her his glory, who before was his utter shame. Crownes, we know, are very precious things and honorable,* 1.14 serving to grace things of chiefe eminency, Emperours, Kings and Princes: Crownes are made of the purest gold,* 1.15 embellished with the costliest Pearles, set in with curious workmanship. So again her price is said to be farre above Rubies:* 1.16 yea, Wisedome her selfe, and a good wife, are not far different in their descrip∣tions; no jewell is to be compared to her, farre above sil∣ver, yea, the choisest gold. Happy is he upon whose head such a crowne is set, to whom heaven hath given such a gift. The other party is the Man;* 1.17 we know the man doth espe∣cially resemble the image of God, and in that respect is the Wives head:* 1.18 and although by her sinne, he came to lose his honour, yet if he be a good man, he is a man of understan∣ding, and of an excellent spirit;* 1.19 yea, better then his neigh∣bour. Not a Ruben any longer,* 1.20 whose dignity is gone, but as Nebuchadnezzar, restored againe to his former, yea grea∣ter glory;* 1.21 as Iob, whose latter life was better then the for∣mer; in whom the majesty,* 1.22 authority and wisdome of God doth shine. Conclude then, if both the members of this bo∣dy are so honorable, what must the whole be? If each of them be so precious, what is the compound? if a ring alone be rich, what is it with a richer pearle enclosed in it? As we see when a Prince and heire of a crowne marries a Prin∣cesse do wager, how glorious is their union? how honora∣ble their concurrence? This may serve for the first of the foure.

But,* 1.23 least any should alledge, that the Text speakes not of those that make marriage honourable; but saith, Marriage (as such an ordinance) is honourable: therefore let the par∣ties goe, and come to the nature and kinde it selfe of marri∣age. The Greeke word here used,* 1.24 is the same which is used 2 Pet. 1. 2. and may as well be translated Precious, or of worth and value, a costly thing: and so it well befits Marriage; for

why? Its precious in the nature of it. A Prince is a pre∣cious peece in himselfe;* 1.25 Thou art worth ten thousand of us (say the people to David) without any other respects; he is the delight of his Subjects, an object of naturall conten∣tation and esteeme. The light of the Sunne (though consi∣dered apart from the use) a pearle, gold, skill and cunning in Arts, have a peculiar splendour, grace and noblenesse of nature in them, and doe eminently exceede other things. So marriage in the nature of it (although never so much stained with the unjust aspersions of Popery, and their comparisons with virginity) is a precious ordinance in her nature. How men by their sinne make it, is not the question (for a crown may be cast into the dirt) but how it is. I speake not now, how generall consent and opinion hath setled it in worth, graced it with priviledges, disgraced single life (which yet I approve not) and granced immunities to marriage farre above it, both in warre and peace (as the Romans law of the claime of three Sonnes shewes) but I speake of Gods owne institution of it; for thats onely honour which a King gives, who himselfe devised it; yea, and that not as a reliefe of man fallen, but an addition of perfection to his creation, before ever sin entred: for the order of it, after all other creatures were made to entertaine and grace their Lord and Lady, yea, the guard of heaven to usher them into Paradise; even the Father,* 1.26 Sonne and holy Ghost, consenting to pro∣pagate man created, and not ceasing to create, till the woman was created: more especially, the Lord Iesus him∣selfe (when he needed it not) yet would grace it, by being the Sonne of a married Virgin, and choosing to be Iosephs reputed Sonne: not to speake of that honour he cast upon it, when he did yeelde to doe his first divine Miracle at a Marriage.* 1.27 Now that which a God of purenesse ordaines by a perpetuall decree of purenesse, in an estate of purenesse, how can it choose but have an ingraven character and for∣mall nature of preciousnesse and honour in it? This for the second.

The third respect is yet more for the honour of it.* 1.28 We say it beares pricke and price, which containes sweet and good,

price and use in one. For why? The very pleasing pure lu∣stre of a pearle, would make it precious of it selfe, though it had no vertue or quality for use in it. Marriage then is also honourable for the use of it. If the Sunne be excellent for her purenesse, what is it then for his influence and life, the very heat and vegetation of the Creatures? what should the world be, save a dungeon without it? And what were it but an emptinesse and vanity without the usefulnesse of mar∣riage? If light be so precious for the purenesse of it, what is it for the usefull direction of it to doe the world of worke which it daily affordeth? If a Prince be so honourable for his noblenesse, what is he for the use, to be a Father to his People, to rule them with all godlinesse and honesty, to feed them in Iacob and Israel? usefulnesse is the varnish and lu∣stre of honour, grounding and establishing it, as colours set in oyle. Now then what is equall to marriage, for the be∣ing or well being of life? I say, the being, ornament or de∣fence of it. Its the prop of mutuall content, the aid of na∣ture, the perfection of health, wealth, beauty, learning, ho∣nour and experience, youth, manhood, old age, whereof none is sweet, where marriage supplies not the lacke. It serveth not onely for the necessity of generation (for how can there be warmth to one, but if two lye together, they have warmth?) but for the reliefe of such as are past it, looking at the safeguard of the stocke, and comfort of life? Marri∣age is the Preservative of Chastity, the Seminary of the Com∣mon-wealth, seed-plot of the Church, pillar (under God) of the world, right-hand of providence, supporter of lawes, states, orders, offices, gifts and services: the glory of peace, the sinewes of warre, the maintenance of policy, the life of the dead, the solace of the li∣ving, the ambition of virginity, the foundation of Countries, Cities, Vniversities, succession of Families, Crownes and Kingdomes; yea (besides the being of these) its the welbeing of them being made, and whatsoever is excellent in them, or any other thing, the very furniture of heaven (in a kinde) depending there∣upon.

Fourthly,* 1.29 its also honourable for the solemne sacrednesse of it; I meane not hereby spiritualnesse; for I know its a

civill ordinance; and, although for the better witnesse, our Marriages are finisht in Churches, yet marriage properly is no Sacrament. But I meane, that God generally hath plan∣ted a reverend esteeme of it in man, and put a deepe awe of it into our mindes (as all those Lawes doe testifie, which have so strictly maintained the repute of it:) but especial∣ly, that divine sanction by which pure marriage is blessed: and all that dare defile and dishonour it, the Lord threatens to dishonour and destroy them.* 1.30 Him who defiles the Tem∣ple of God, by the pollution of this ordinance, God will al∣so destroy. The annointing of a King, though it be not pro∣perly a divine spirituall act, yet its sacred, and the Consecra∣tion of him, an act of solemne and high reverence, most re∣ligiously obliging the Subject to all due service,* 1.31 as to his liege Lord,* 1.32 for conscience sake. Touch not mine Annointed, (saith God) and do my Prophets no harme:* 1.33 and therfore David trembling at Abishai his bloody motion to kill Saul, (though a tyrant) saith, God forbid I should lay mine hand upon the Lords annointed, viz. lest God should lay his hand upon him with vengeance. Even so sacred a thing is this Marriage: not in the jealousie onely of revenging man (whose heart cannot be pacified with gifts,* 1.34 in case of such violation which ar∣gues a sacred depth of thoughts upon such an injustice,) nor onely in the punishments inflicted by humane lawes there∣upon (some whereof make the wronged party his owne ju∣ry, judge, and executioner.) But especially the just hand of the God of marriage, going out against all offenders in this kinde, against chastity (which should be kept in this sa∣cred Cabinet) and not onely against the party offending himselfe, but also his name and posterity. As the text it selfe addes, and we shall prosecute in the end of this Discourse; But, whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Sum up there∣fore all these respects in one, and conclude, if marriage be so solemne and precious in her parts, nature, use, and sacred∣nesse, then doubtlesse it is true both in the nature and use of it, That Marriage is honourable, and the bed is undefiled. So much for the opening of this first point. I come now to the Vse.

[Vse 1] First then, is marriage so honourable? Woe then and ter∣rour to all such,* 1.35 as directly or indirectly, by doctrine or pra∣ctice, openly or secret, by thought, word or deed, dare vio∣late marriage; whatsoever they are, Epicures, Papists, Prote∣stants, unmarried men or married, do deface marriage, either really or occasionally, casting their dung upon it, they are all guilty. [ 1] First, here let al Papists, Iesuites, Priests or others, with all their fomenters and adherents, tremble and be ashamed,* 1.36 who have dared so many times to dishonour marriage, and so many wayes to defile it. Their Clergy, forsooth, are all cut off at one blow from it, yea, though it be a Sacrament. How just is it, that such should be left to the spirit of giddi∣nesse, that they should with the same mouth be compelled to magnifie that with most holinesse, which yet they debar their most holy order of Priesthood from? or rather secretly confesse, what a polluted order it is, which disdaineth the use of that, which (though erroniously) they call a Sacra∣ment? The state of marriage is with these impure ones, an estate of such as live in the flesh. Better were it (saith their Champion Bellarmine,* 1.37) for a Priest to defile himself with ma∣ny harlots, then to be married to one wife. When the trum∣pet gives so certain an alarme and sound of defiance to mar∣riage, who should dare venture upon it? These children of the purple whore, scorne that their great revenues should serve to maintaine the honourable off-spring of marriage; therefore God leaves them to be more filthy, and to let such a filthy off-spring maintaine none, save the children of for∣nication. Marriage was honourable in the Church, not a∣mong Lay-men onely, but (in the old Testament) with the high Priest, and all his Tribe (which yet were typicall of the purenesse of Christ himselfe) and Moses himselfe, a man who was conversant with God, and spake to him face to face, was married: after Christ, with the Apostles them∣selves, notwithstanding their travels, Saint Peter their grand Patron (and Paul had the same power) with the Evange∣lists, and many religious Bishops and Overseers of Christs flocke, from their times to many generations following. Till the mystery of iniquity, which long before had bin laid as

leven, and began to worke, was growne at length to open Doctrine of Divels,* 1.38 in rejecting of marriage, and practice of Divels, in playing the Sodomites and whoremongers; for generally this taint hath run through them all (if Histories may be beleeved) from the head to the foot.* 1.39 And although I deny not, but many votaries among them, abstaine from uncleannesse, some more, some lesse; yet their Doctrine frets like a Canker,* 1.40 to defile and dishonour this honourable Or∣dinance. Away ye hypocrites, and vanish at the light and lustre of this truth! your workes in secret are such, that it is a shame onely to name them, the Sunne blushing at them: your Cloysters of both sexes, vaults, privies, fishponds, and the like, have witnessed sufficiently (by the confession and sanction of a great Pope and Proctor of your owne) what hellish abominations doe swarm under the shroud and vaile of your defiance of Marriage.

How justly hath the Lord (by giving over such,* 1.41 both to sinnes unnaturall and unlawfull) disabled them of credit and ability, to dishonour that which they so abhor? so that their words against marriage, which they nickname, a living in the flesh, are no slander to it. For as the Proverbe saith, Clo∣dius accuses whoremasters, and Catiline Ceth••gus, to be a traitor. This errour of theirs, never past without contradi∣ction, from first to last in the Church, notwithstanding their violence have brought it to this. As Saint Paul of those Iewes,* 1.42 so I of these, God they opposed, and man they disre∣garded; hatefull and hated of all men.* 1.43 God hath said, It is not good for man to be alone,* 1.44 for snares sake. They say, its not good to be married,* 1.45 for Devotions sake; abusing that Text, Its not good for a man to touch a woman. As Austin said betwixt Do∣natus and himselfe, Whether of the two beleeve you? so say I between God and these. And, man they controll; for here the text cals marriage honourable [among all] poore and rich, simple, learned, noble, base, minister, people; all men. What then are these? men, or beasts in their likenesse, with womens faces, lions qualities, or rather Divels in the flesh. That which they raise up as high as a Sacrament among men, they beat down and anathematize to hell among them∣selves.

But I leave them to the discovery of their owne sect sometimes, Luther and others, who upon the experi∣ence of them, loathed them; and therefore (though at their parting Satan fomed and raged) even out of horrour of con∣science, departed from them. No wonder; for who could endure the society of such theeves, as have robbed the earth of men, men of honesty, and heaven of Saints, as a learned man speakes.* 1.46

As for their deifying of virginity above marriage (which partly they colour over with Saint Ieroms preposterous zeale against Vigilantius) let me answer with that wise towne∣Clerke of Ephesus,* 1.47 speaking to the tumultuous people, Who knoweth not that virginity is precious? But grant it be so. What? can it not be praised without the disgrace of marri∣age? Is the eye of the one evill, because the other is good? Can no oblation pacifie the one, but the honour of the other depraved, and a sacrifice of the heads of married men? doth she not cut downe the bowe she stands on, yea breake her owne necke, in destroying marriage? To be sure, none are so unfit to commend or defend her, as they who confute marriage by the same uncleannesse whereby they defile vir∣ginity. Virgins, I confesse, have their honour, yea, those Eunuches who have made themselves spiritually so for the kingdome of God,* 1.48 are praise worthy. And, as that Demoni∣acke said,* 1.49 Iesus we know, and Paul we know, but who are ye? So we, marriage and true virginity we admire, but as for you, what, or whence are yee? If you speake a good word for it, it were meet (as they at Athens were wont in the Senate to do) to take it out of your unvirgin-like unseemly mouthes, and put it into the mouth of honester persons. Praise stinkes in the mouthes of such as doe reproach more by deeds, then their mouthes can commend. As the Poet once said of the cold Poetry of them who commended fasting with their bellies full: so may I say of you, who praise virginity, your selves having bodies debauched with uncleannesse; your breath is not sweet enough for this worke, nor your words strong enough, to make you beleeved. None but Oratours can praise eloquence, nor any, save chaste virgins, single

life, whether married or unmarried. One once said of the great Turkes horse, that no grasse grew after where he had once trod; so, neither did ever virginity thrive upon your praises. As Locusts eat up all before them, so doth your un∣bridled lust; and the more, by how much its vailed with the vow of that Chastity, which becomes the greatest snare of uncleannesse, to them that make it. Thus much for the first branch.

But to leave these,* 1.50 I would also apply this truth to a se∣cond sort of men, for their dishonouring of marriage. Such I meane, as doe (though not by Popish, yet) by their un∣cleane lives and practice, defloure and disgrace this Ordi∣nance. The most reall and chiefe offenders in this kinde, who by their manners doe not onely impute, but infuse (in a sort) a blot and shame into marriage, causing it to stinke by their sinne, which God hath honoured and blessed. And these are the successours of Hophni and Phinees,* 1.51 whose open and shamelesse pollutions by whoredome and adultery doth corrupt it. A course in these dayes so common, that not onely among the viler sort its thought nothing (for there be of the ignorant and baser sort of people who are free from it) but even of them of the better fashion also (where grace rules not) of whom in the end of this Treatise I shall speake more. But besides these, how doe the lives of such as live in this estate of marriage cause men to vow the gro∣sest uncleannesse, rather then they would be so married? As once an Heathen said, If this be the practice of Christians to eat their God, and to kill their King, let my soule be with the Philosophers. So say I, the base cursed life of many pro∣fessours, who brawle, scold, fight, and live at defiance with each other, causes many ungodly ones to prefer a single life, though besmeared with all sorts of lusts contemplative, pra∣cticall, natural, unnatural, with wives, harlots, or as they can, rather then to marry! that is to say, Let my soule be with the adulterers. I say to such married persons, stumbling-blocks and eye-sores; perhaps you may be guiltlesse of this sin your selves; but verily, many by your occasion, are as deeply temp∣ted to uncleannes, as others are by the entisements of bawds

and companions of harlots. Well, as odious as you are, yet is Marriage honourable in her selfe: you doe as much as in you lyeth (and shall answer for it, as well as if it were in your power) to defile it; but yet you cannot defile that which God hath enstamped with honour.

To see some married couples, how they bring up their brats to all filthinesse of manners:* 1.52 to see Ahabs and Iezabels both combining together in villany: to see the wofull con∣fusion of bad wives with good husbands,* 1.53 or them with as bad wives,* 1.54 drawing in a most unequall yoake: Nabals and Abigails, Moses and Zippora's; would it not cause men to stop their noses at the stinch of marriage? Should this be, if men kept the honour of marriage unstained? If they were jealous to suffer any eye to behold their unseemelinesse,* 1.55 least marriage should be dishonoured? To see the separation of such in the Countrey of all sorts, as depart from their yoake∣fellowes, abandoning each other by Law, or lawlesse divor∣ces, from bed, board, and affection (I meane by wilfull se∣parating themselves) would it not cause men to irke marri∣age? To behold varlets and monsters openly, and in the face,* 1.56 and defiance of Courts and Lawes, without penance or due pursuit and punishment, to doe as Zimri and Cozbi did (though with contrary successe) to bring their whores and the bastards they have begotten by them, not onely in∣to their houses and under their wives noses, but to lay them in their beds, to force them to afford them like nurcery and equall tearmes with their owne: would it not make Hea∣thens themselves to spue us out? To see great men to relin∣quish and cast up their chaste and wel-deserving Ladies, (whom they at first loved and sought with the greatest am∣bition) and to give themselves to vagrant and libidinous courses; would it not fray men from marriage, and say as they did, If the case stand so, it is not good to marry? To conclude, to see but the base Mart that is now made of mar∣riages, how men looke onely at the prize and the best game, how they may take in, or put off their children, in and at the best vantage (as cattle in a market) for wealth and portion, be they never so debaucht, drunkards, or light huswives;

would it not provoke men to vomit such marriages? A wor∣thy wife cannot be sufficiently prized, a man cannot tell what to aske for such a pearle;* 1.57 and a bad one deserves no price, being the worst of wares: the one is above this line, the other is under it, neither ought to be bought and sold: I say, these, and other the like abuses, as the perpetuall jealou∣sies betweene some couples (not the worst persons, yet bad in marriage) their sinister conceits, melancholike distem∣pers, how doe they make this commodity of marriage, yea and a better too, even religion it selfe (which too many such professe) to be badly spoken of. But in the meane time, by these rents and disorders the innocent Ordi∣nance heares ill; as if, by her default, such evils were com∣mitted.

[Vse 3] I proceed to a second use of Admonition; and that is, to all such as shall upon triall finde out their errors,* 1.58 or else can entire and unstained. Sundry are the feares and griefes I know of the weaks (though religious couples) when they looke backe to their beginnings: some to consider how rawly they entred into this condition at first, and since ha∣ving found God to be more gracious, to reclaim them home, or the husband and wife that before was a verse: yet when they also thinke, how unthankefully they have requited God for it, waxing light, wanton, worldly and loose; they cannot chuse, but they must be in bitternesse for it. Others, although they have entred into this estate with much zeale, resolution, and consent of heart, to honour God to their ut∣termost in it: yet alas, when they come to weigh seriously how many dayes, moneths and yeeres are come over their heads in a most unprofitable sort; gray haires being upon them, without any impression of fruit, and growth in good; able to say little for themselves, either for religion, walking betweene themselves, praying for and with each other, joynt care in education of their children; yea, that they have humored each other in their base corruptions, bolstred each other in worldlinesse (which hath eaten up their stocke) not suffered grace to revive but to decay; serving their

turnes each of other, onely for common and vanishing ends of their owne: spent Sabbaths carnally, and little delighted in them for Gods cause, fruitlesse in hearing, and Family du∣ties: oh! much cause of griefe must needs be to such. Be therefore admonished, sleight not the care of maintaining of Religion in your marriage, with all solicitous careful∣nesse, shunning that which might weaken it, the honour and comfort of it. Crownes of honour are tickle things; and looke whatsoever it be that hath much honour put upon it, hath withall much care, anxiety and burden annexed. Be∣ware then: scum not off the fat and sweet of the honor and content of marriage; but as for the burden and service of it, to seeke God, to worship him joyntly, to shun all occasions of ease, carnall occasions of jollity, unchaste company, you are loath to take the paines: surely, you shall finde at last that repentance will be the best fruit of such sleghtnesse: it is strange how little this is beleeved at first, till experience have taught it:* 1.59 but men thinke marriage to be a buckler to fence off all blowes: so long as they love one another (as they thanke God, that they doe heartily, though with a rot∣ten love) that will hold them in, as the corner-stone doth the sides of an house. Others take marriage to be an estate of loose liberty, to live as they list, and therefore observe no caution, nor feare any danger, till at last they be waile their folly, when they see how by their rash improvidence, they have brought a snare of poverty upon themselves: others, an habit of pleasures and expence, till, both time, thrift, and heart be all lost and past recall.

Others there are, who by their froward, peevish carri∣age have provoked each others to wearinesse, impatience and discontent: others, have drowned themselves in lust, and led each others by base example to follow them; and instead of complainers of each others, to be as deep in and overshooes therein as the other, thereby heaping diseases and needlesse sorrow upon their heads. And whereas for lacke of mature regard and prevention, they have pierced through themselves with the fruit of their sinne; then they cry out too late, wishing they had bin wiser to keepe this

crowne entire from staine and dishonour! Kings and Em∣perours have so sleighted the due care of their crownes, that they have brought ruine and misery upon themselves, by running into excesse of contempt: as in the example of Rehoboam wee see. But when as for their loose exorbi∣tant wayes, they have come to see those sad effects which followed, they have wisht their crownes againe, upon con∣dition of improving their honour with ten times more tem∣perance and wisedome. How much more then have mar∣ried persons cause to abhor their carelesnesse in this kinde, and to binde sare, if they looke to finde sure; that is, to prop up the honour of this ordinance, if they will enjoy the qui∣et fruit of righteousnesse, by their good behaviour. If a Mi∣nister or Magistrate havi••g more honour put upon them in their places then others, should carry themselves the more disdainfully, and beare themselves so upon their places, that they care for no man, nor baulke any bad courses, doe they looke their honour should beare them out? should not God say to them,* 1.60 Those who honour me, I will honour; but such as reproach me, I will make vile? If private persons excelling others in gifts, shall not attend to humility and fear of them∣selves, shall not their glory end in their shame, their gifts in barrennesle, and their profession in revolt? Even so is it here; such as care not, regard not their demeanour in mar∣riage, both to God, themselves, and their families, by shunning offences, jealousies, losse or alienation of affecti∣ons; but thinke it will alway be hony-moone, and a merry world with them, is it not just, that their unseasonable ru∣ines should teach them repentance too late? Therefore let all married onc•• be warned hereby,* 1.61 to be sober, heedfull, advised, moderate in their affections, loves, and liberties; rather walking on this side the brinke, then otherwise: alway fearing a change, and saying, What if my follies breed in my wife (by Gods secret vengeance) a loathing of me? a fire of contention in my bosome? a continuall dropping upon my head, my content at home, my repute abroad? God keepe me within such bounds of marri∣age 'as I first ••owed to keepe at my entrance. Thus much for the Admonition.

Next,* 1.62 I proceed to comfort all such godly couples, as have laboured to enhanse and uphold the honour of this Ordi∣nance. Try your selves then; no doubt you shall meet with uncomfortable thoughts, for your manifold failings: and no doubt you thinke few religious mariages so ill managed, and so poorely carried as your owne! the many breaches and flawes of your marriages, do cause you to mourne and com∣plaine, saying, If indeed I had so inured and acquainted my selfe and my wife to prayer and close worshipping of God; if I had wisdome and understanding enough to be Gods voyce to my wife to guide her: if I had abstained from the snares and occasions laid in my way by Satan to overthrow me and my peace; had I preserved bòth body and soule in that chastity and honour that was meet, nourishing love and amity, abhorring all occasions to the contrary, I might be∣hold the face of God with comfort I but now my burden is encreased by my errours in marriage; viz. that with a slight, heedlesse and regardlesse heart, I have carried my self in a businesse of such consequence; upon which the well or ill fare of my life dependeth. Well, there is no doubt, but, as in all other, so in this part of the wheele of our conversation, to wit, of marriage; we all sinne many wayes, and our er∣rours are infinite. But now, sift thy selfe more narrowly, and leaving thy faults, examine thy selfe in intentions, in all the wandrings and swervings of thy course.* 1.63 Canst thou say, that as in all other, so in this part of thy course, thou hast sought better to be informed, what that good and accepted will of God is?* 1.64 and accordingly, with simplicity of heart hast quit thy selfe to thy companion, not for thine owne base ends and ease, but that marriage might have her honour preser∣ved, offences might be prevented, God worshipped within, and honoured without doores; a peaceable life in all god∣linesse and honesty preserved? I aske not whether there have bin staggerings, wearinesse of the yoake, and desire after more liberties, (for who is there that sinneth not? as Salomon said,* 1.65) but, I aske this; Hast thou denied thy selfe, and curbed thy base heart, to stoope to God in drawing this yoake; not sought thy ease, sleshly content, letting the ho∣nour

of God to sinke or swim? Hast thou humbly bowed thy neck and stooped to the ordinance, acknowledging how much its changed from the first Creation, and by sinne filled with sundry sorrowes, distempers and bitter-sweets, hardly to be avoyded? I say, hast thou under all these, abased thy selfe before the Lord, craved pardon of thy stout heart and proud stomacke, loth to yeeld, and thine impotency of thy passions, desiring to testifie thy obedience in bearing these annoyances, as justly inflicted for sinne? Hast thou acknow∣ledged the Lord most wise, in so ordering the matter for thee, that because thy heart is haughty and insolent, therfore he hath tamed thee by this bridle; and hath by it exercised thy faith and patience, and brought thee to the bent of his bowe? so that for the avoyding of farre worse snares, and for the comforts and liberties accruing by marriage, thou canst willingly yeeld obedience to the rules and duties ther∣of, not dividing burdens from priviledges? and thou canst correct all thy licentiousnesse in seeking sleshly content one∣ly in marriage? Surely, if in some comfortable sort thou canst speake thus in the eares of God, begging a pardon of all wants, and a release of all deserved penalties; then I say (according to infirmity) thou hast sought the honour of mar∣riage; and to prevent the just staine and aspersions thereof by thy watchfulnesse; yea, thou hast sought the honour of the ordainer therof, for thy singular comfort, which thou mightst ill have wanted.

What remaines therefore,* 1.66 but that I comfort thee from God, and encourage thee by his promise, not onely against the feare of thy dishonouring God, but also towards a more hearty endeavour to honour him further? Surely, thou hast neede of no lesse. Thy journey is long, thy obedience diffi∣cult! its not for a day or a moneth, but for life; its not for a sodering up of breaches for a while, to breake out so much the worse after:* 1.67 its no worke of an outside, to set a good face upon the matter abroad, nourishing still the disease within; God is not mocked, and sinnes in this kinde are like oyle in the hand, which cannot be hid. But this obedience is a perpetuall, yet an ingenuous, humble and holy subjecti∣on

to the will of the subjecter; who by it tryes men, and shewes them all which is in the heart: so that, I dare say, a true obedient in marriage, is a good servant in all. There∣fore, as thou needest encouragement from God (as who doth not in difficult duties) so,* 1.68 take it into thy bosome as thine owne, chew upon it and digest it: its the Lords will that thou shouldest; I say unto thee, that as the Lord hath put ho∣nour upon this ordinance, so thou hast sought to maintaine it, and who so honours God, shall be honoured of God. God can and will turne all the impediments and incumbran∣ces of this estate into blessings: thou shalt finde this estate made honourable to thee; thy selfe shalt finde acceptance with God in all thy suits; successe in enterprises, honour and esteem among his people: he shall crowne thee with old age, and good report in the way of righteousnesse. Thy wife shall be a blessing, no snare; thy liberties shall be pure unto thee, and thou shalt visit thine habitation without sinne, as Iob speaks;* 1.69 thou shalt dr••nke of the stoods of milke, and but∣ter and honey.* 1.70 Thy children shall honour thee in the gate; and shall be thy crowne in thy age;* 1.71 they shall stand about thy table as olive plants;* 1.72 yea, although any of them should prove irregular, yet that should not condemne thine inno∣cency. In a word, God shall bring upon thee all the bles∣sings promised to such as honour his ordinance, even to love thine,* 1.73 for many generations. His word shall not be taken from thee and them for ever:* 1.74 he will continue thee a name upon earth,* 1.75 and a naile in his temple, and peace upon Israel.

Nay,* 1.76 I adde, that thy very obedience alone in it self shal be a blessing unto thee. Dost thou preserve thy body in holines and honor? thou shalt a void hereby those infinite woes and miseries, which befall the unchaste, as proverty, basenesse, a rotten body, a worse soule, a ruined estate, both in this world and in the world to come. Dost thou nourish love and ami∣ty betweene thy selfe and thy wife, that so the peace of God thereby may the better rule thy heart and minde? Loe, how infinite many garboiles and miseries thou avoydest of wrath, debate, envie, raylings, quarrellings and discon∣tents,

which bad marriage causeth. But canst thou say, that besides these ordinary duties of the married estate,* 1.77 thou and thy wife have also closed with God in the spe∣ciall service of the time, and (with good Vriah and Me∣phibosheth) moderately used the comforts of this life,* 1.78 (du∣ring the sorrowes of the Church) and bin married,* 1.79 as if not; remembring the afflictions of Ioseph, making them the due and daily matter of thine Humiliations and Requests before God?* 1.80 hast thou oft, with Ioel's Bridegroome and Bride, come out of thy feasting Chamber,* 1.81 to hide thine head in thy fasting chamber (as our Saviour tels us, when the Bride∣groome shall be taken away,* 1.82 they shall mourne in those dayes,* 1.83) the husband apart, and the wife apart, for since∣rity, or both together for fervency? Or with the Psalmist, Dost thou desire thy tongue cleave to the roofe of thy mouth,* 1.84 except the joy of Ierusalem be above all thy joy, even marriage joy it selfe (which yet is allowed to be great.) Surely then, I say, thou hast honoured marriage in∣deed, and as thy share in the duty hath bin greater, so shall it be in the blessing:* 1.85 The Lord shall give thee an hiding place in the day of evill, and because thou hast kept the word of his patience,* 1.86 in bad times, hee shall also deliver thee in that houre of temptation, which shall come for a triall up∣on all flesh. Hee shall uphold thee in six troubles, and the seventh shall not come neere thee: The floods of great waters,* 1.87 with all those plagues which God hath denoun∣ced against these, shall not come neere thee. Be cheere∣full in the Lord therefore, and still, thou and thy wife, cleave and cling to him; deny your owne wils and car∣nall reason, and trust to his eternall strength; buckle with the worke of God faithfully,* 1.88 and walke in his ordinance humbly, till hee come; and then he shall bring healing in his wings at last;* 1.89 and in the meane time, hee shall cause a voyce to sound behinde, saying, This is the way, walke in it: Hee shall order your pathes, resolve your doubts, prevent dangers, and so preserve the soules of his Saints, that thousands shall fall at his right hand,* 1.90 and ten thou∣sands at your left, you going safe in the middest, and

so be brought safe and well through all extremities at last. So much for Comfort, and for this first Chapter.

CHAP. II.

More full explication in what the honour of marriage con∣sists (being the ground of the Treatise ensuing) viz. entrance and continuance. Entrance first, in mar∣rying in the Lord, handled.

BVT because there be many more Vses to be made of this point, ere I come to them, I desire further to open this truth, and in particular to shew what the honour of this marriage is, and in how many things it consists. Honoura∣ble we see it is,* 1.91 by that which hath bin said; but the questi∣on is, How married couples may attaine this honour? To which I answer, by two maine duties: First, procure it: Secondly, preserve it. Procure it first, by laying the foun∣dation of it in honour;* 1.92 for as the root is, so will the branches be, either honourable or reproachfull: seeke therefore to enter into that estate according to God and his rules. And then secondly, having entred well into it, manage it well al∣so, nourish the honour of it carefully and warily, for its no whit lesse vertue to keepe well, then to seeke aright; and many begin with great shew of honour, who yet end in shame.

Touching the former of these,* 1.93 there is a double rule of the word; first, to marry in the Lord: secondly, to marry aptly in the Lord. This is the ground of an honourable mar∣riage, when as thou art content to be taught by him who first put honour upon it, to maintaine it. For the former, to marry in the Lord,* 1.94 is to use our uttermost discreet diligence, to seeke out such companions, as (in charity and likelihood)

are either already espouzed to the Lord Iesus, their husband by faith; and in token thereof, sit close to him in obedience; or an endeavourer thereto; that is, such as are in a faire and hopefull way of inclining to it. These two (I confesse) dif∣fer; but be ware lest thou attempt any marriage, in which neither of these can be perceived.* 1.95 To open my selfe a lit∣tle; they that are indeed actually married to Christ, have bin truely drawne to him by his Elezier's and spokesmen, by whose embassage God hath treated with them,* 1.96 about this spirituall union, betweene himselfe and them. They have well digested the offer,* 1.97 and with Abigail (when sent for to be Davids wife) confesse themselves to be so farre from worthinesse,* 1.98 to be his Consorts, and to taste of his marriage contents and benevolence,* 1.99 that they are unworthy even to be fellow-servants with his children, doorekeepers in his house, or to wash and wipe the feet of his houshold. So vile God hath made them in the sight of their owne eyes; shew∣ing them by his pure Law, the basenesse of that conversati∣on of theirs, wherein they have walked (as the doore al∣way rolling one way upon her hinges) so they alway living in the same vices, soked upon their old dregs; that hereby he emptieth them of themselves, dasheth that pride and va∣nity which puffed them up before: so that alas, they rather thinke, that he is throwing them out of his presence for e∣ver, then marrying them in faithfulnesse to himselfe. By this humiliation,* 1.100 they come to be further acquainted with his pleasure; That even to such wofull ones, who have defi∣led their fathers bed worse then Reuben, yea, defaced his i∣mage; yet to these most forlorne harlots and children of adulterers, he is willing to be reconciled, yea, to seeke them out,* 1.101 as that Leuite did his concubine, yea, after just cause of Divorce,* 1.102 Iorem. 2. 1, 2. to admit them to his bed againe; them∣selves seeking no favour, but fleeing from him, as she from her Lord.* 1.103 By this unheard of love, hee hath broken their whorish hard heart and forehead of brasse, melted them in∣to teares, to see his bottomlesse and causelesse compassions, as Zachary in chap.* 1.104 10. ver. 12. cals them: especially while they by rejecting or sleighting it, yea shutting him out, and

abhorring his love, deserved to have his heart hardned, and love to turne jealousie against them. And now, they con∣sult whether they were better perish in their desolate cour∣ses,* 1.105 or venture upon his love for a second reconciling. At length, seeing his scope to be, to get himselfe a name in tur∣ning an harlots heart (as bad as Mary Magdalen) to her husband againe (a thing which no man can doe to an who∣rish wife) yea, to make her more loyall and tender to him, then she ever was ere she forsooke him. I say, at length, she is convinced, and casting her selfe downe at his feet, as one that is loath to dishonour that love which she so much abused; with a trembling and selfe-despairing heart, begins to touch the hem of his garment, to apprehend him to speak as he meanes, and so becomes one againe with him, neerer in covenant then ever; bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh.* 1.106 Striving from that second renuing of love towards him, to draw mighty encouragement and resolution, not onely never to be faithlesse to him, in her conjugall affecti∣ons any more; but also, to returne the fruit of his deere love into his bosome againe, to walke in all subjection to his lore and will,* 1.107 to delight in denying her selfe, that so she may be wel-pleasing in his sight, whether in doing or suffering for him. Thus abiding faithfull to him in the uttermost service she can doe, she waits patiently for his coming, that he may finde her in peace and well occupied at his coming, and then make her glorious,* 1.108 and like himselfe, without spot or wrinkle.

This is a short description of a spouse of Christ,* 1.109 and a sonne or daughter of Abraham: and such an one (in mea∣sure more or lesse) is each soule married to Christ: and of such no question needs to be made, but they are [ 1] (in this first respect) meet husbands and wives for each other. But lest my words prove snares to any who come short of these, and yet are loth to be debarred from marriage: I adde, that there is a lesser degree of grace under this, onely appearing in the seed, tender and weake; and that is of such, as (although they reach not so farre) yet have their eye toward this bride∣groome,* 1.110 counting him one of ten thousand, comparing

selves with such as are married to him, thinke themselves far inferiour, wish their case were so happy; abhorre their own treachery,* 1.111 count the feet of such beautifull, as wooe them to Christ, thinke highly of the offer, love to be such friends of the Lord Iesus,* 1.112 and children of his Bridechamber, full of tears, affections and desires after it. Even these are not to be ex∣cluded neither, there is hope of such, that they may come to be married to Christ in due time; therefore it were unequall that for meere lacke of time and training, they should be reje∣cted: rather, if better faile (in ordinary providence) there be∣ing sufficient ground to hope, that their little is in truth: I dare not deny, but a contract with such may be lawfull, and the Lord may cover defects in mercy; especially if the more forward party be industrious to improve a little to a greater measure, in the other, if the weaker party be teachable, and in either of both there be a selfe-denying heart (if God crosse their hopes) to lye downe meekely at his feet, humbled for sin (the cause thereof) and patiently taking up and bearing their crosse, till God amend it.

By all this it appeares, that Marrying in the Lord, requires good consideration;* 1.113 and that they who so marry, have laid the foundation of future honour beforehand. And who doubts but it had need be so? for what hope is there, that they who never sought it before,* 1.114 should ever light upon it after? Ho∣nour requires good breeding, and it is a stud, which except it subsist upon a good ground-cell, will soone lye in the dust. Rash and sudden attempts in this kinde, doe but make way for shame and reproach; onely marrying in the Lord, prepares the soule for the worke: it hath her tooles in readinesse to fall to the trade, whereas the contrary is still to seek; yea, the ve∣ry method of the Apostle in this Epistle, shewes no lesse, for he speakes of no marriage businesse, before he have fully ope∣ned the doctrine of faith, he layes that for the bottome, and then comes in, and tels such, their Marriage is honourable: Faith then is the hand and wheele, which must frame a vessell for honour, prepared, as for all other, so for this worke of mar∣riage. And in truth, as it is all Religion (upon point) so it is the marriage ring, which makes the soule one with the Lord;

and this ring is beset with many rich jewels, all of them ser∣ving for the honour, that is, the well carrying and discharge of marriage duties.* 1.115 [ 1] One jewell is, humility and selfe-deny∣all, whereby the heart is tamed and humbled to this worke with all subjection, and freed from that rudenesse and rebel∣lion of spirit,* 1.116 which makes it fit for nothing but it owne will and ends▪ but this grace levels it to the obedience of this ordinance.* 1.117 [ 2] Another jewell is peace, whereby the soule is so calmed and pacified within it selfe, in the point of par∣don and Gods favour,* 1.118 that it can beare any affronts: even as the shooes or brasse boots of the Souldier can walke upon rocks or pikes, and feele no hurt; so an heart well a paid in the Lord, is calme, and able to cleare the coast of all distem∣pers; and to goe through discontents and crosses, such as an unquiet spirit cannot.* 1.119 [ 3] A third is purity, which cleanseth the soule of many bad humours, very unequall for marriage; selfe-love, pride, disdaine, wrath, heart-burning, jealousies and conceits, and makes a man much fitter for marriage. [ 4] A fourth (the last which I will name) is righteousnesse;* 1.120 that is, the fellowship with Christs holy nature, by which the soule partakes the properties of Christ, qualifying it with wise∣dome, influence, strength, meeknesse, patience, holinesse, cheer∣fulnesse, long-suffering and compassion; which graces, as they make him a meet head and husband for the Church, so they make married couples meet heads and helpers for each other. Faith, I say, doth draw from Christ all such abilities and graces, as may prepare the soule to all the services which the marriage estate cals for. Even as the spokes or staves of the wheele strengthen it, for the good motion of it, so doth faith strengthen this great master-wheele of conversation, which is Marriage.

[Reas. 2] Againe, except the honour of Marriage be forelaid in the entrance,* 1.121 when the minde is free and impartiall, how should it be like to be provided for in marriage it selfe? Alas! mar∣riage hath her handsful of trial, what grace is already wrought in the soule, marriage will finde a gracious heart work enough at the best; for it i•• given to exercise grace. It is not given to worke grace (without singular mercy doe occasion it) but

to exerci••e it; for what abundance of other distractions doe there fall out in this estate, which (as the Apostle tels us) keepe off the soule from sitting close and comely to God?* 1.122 The necessity of marriage-occasions are such, as compell the parties each to please other, in the matters of this life. So that, except single persons have well bethought themselves, and fitted themselves with a stocke to live upon, they will finde it an hard thing to act a true part on this stage upon the sudden: rather they are like to finde (except God alter it) marriage to pul them from God, to carry their spirits to world∣linesse, unsetlednesse, cares, feares, temptations, lusts, some∣times on the right hand, by baits, to carnall ease and jollity; and otherwhiles on the left, to snares and distempered passi∣ons, of anger and impatience, neither of which extremity fa∣vours religion, but kils and damps it; taking up all the time and leasure of the soul, from attending the best things, or at lest causing it to attend them lesser; as good never a whit (as we say) as never the better.

[Reas. 3] Besides these reasons, what hope have we, that when we forsake Gods way,* 1.123 he will be found of us, in ours? How just is it for him to forsake us, and give us over to our owne by-ends and respects in our marriages, and to suffer us to defile our selves more and more, that as we entred badly, so we should live worse, and end worst of all? As Paul saith,* 1.124 The wicked waxe worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived; so may the Lord plague ungodly marriages by themselves, and scourge them with their owne whip; so that the husband should be deceived with the bad qualities of the wife, and she by his; one defiling the other more, and neither doing any good to the other. Wee see it thus daily, uncleane men doe but teach their wives their trade, that they might match them in their kinde; carnall, proud and bad wives draw their hus∣bands to the like evils, one must please another by concurring with their humours, and all for a penalty upon such as sleigh∣ted Gods ordinance, to marry in the Lord: that so the thing they sought might be a snare unto them. True it is oftentimes, the Lord orders it otherwise (for the elect shall be brought home by one meane or other, be they never so ill married) the

Lord can turne poyson into a medicine, if he please, and sin to good. But it is ever best, to seeke God in his way: the question is not what God can doe, but what he doth, or will doe ordinarily. Sure it is, ordinarily, these doubtful, irreligious and clandestine matches, are as basely carried, as entred up∣on; repentance it selfe being hard to get for the sin at first•• much lesse amendment of errors, but rather an hardned heart, an unsavory going through-stitch, swallowing up much sor∣row, and none to pitty them that pittied not themselves, in hasting sorrow upon them.

[Reas. 4] Lastly, marriages are full of disproportions. Now religi∣on is fittest to levell and equall them of all other:* 1.125 I confesse it to be the way of God, that such equality as possibly can be attained, should be in this condition, as of yeeres, education, disposition, breed, estate, and the like (as in the next point shall appeare.) But what is more common, then disparity in all? yong are married to old, rich to poore, untaught to well trained, harsh to amiable, and the like. How shall this be levelled? Surely no way, except religion compound it. I doe not alway say it can; for Religion it self hath no war∣rant to enter upon unequall marriage, howbeit, if it be so, religion can best set all straight and eaven, or else nothing can. It is not her wealth, which can procure content with a prophane, froward wife; it is not a good nature which will purchase love to a wastefull, improvident, wanton wo∣man; that playster is not broad enough for the sore. No outward complement can ease or levell an inward unequal∣nesse; onely grace can doe it, if it may prevaile. Grace will say thus, Thy wife was but poore, but she is loyall, chaste, wife, provident, saves her portion in seven yeeres: that which makes her thus, shall goe for her portion. Thy hus∣band is but a plaine man, hath no great learning, is none of the sweetest tempers, but harsh and rough: But religion shi∣ning through these clouds, makes the best of an hard bar∣gaine: both of them, perhaps, are passionate and sudden, but because Gods bridle is presently in their mouth, their wants are the easilier endured. And, as I say this of marriage in generall, so in particular of second matches; wherein,

either incumbrances by former marriage, children, or the world frowning, or suspition of fraud either way; or, in a word, unsutable successe to expectation; if in the throng of these, religion step not in, to media••e and moderate the con∣troversie, how endlesse may the breaches be?

* 1.126But for all this, Truth cannot want cavils or queries: for first, doe we not (say some) see very many couples doe very well, who never observed any such strict course, but hap't by better chance, then good skill upon one another? I an∣swer: you have lighted so, perhaps rather in a negative way, that you are free from many evils which pester others, then in an holy positive way of grace: or if so, its rather a lot of mercy, then any good forecast of your owne: if it be as you wish, thank God who hath borne with your sinfull tempting of his providence, and swerving from his way: howbeit, one swallow makes no summer, neither ought it to prescribe a president unto others: ten misse where one hits well. And secondly, I say, all honour and successe in marriage, must not be esteemed by outward league and peace together;* 1.127 Ahab and Iezabell accorded, but how? in mutuall combining for wickednesse and idolatry. Still swine eat up all the draffe sometimes: and, if outward peace, attended with wealth, ease and welfare, cannot hinder a prophane heart, contempt of the Ordinances, Sabbaths and wayes of God, what ad∣vantage is it for a good marriage? But it is objected, put case, that God converts them to himself? I answer, his mercy is the greater, but yet so free, that it cannot certain∣ly be rested upon. The grace of God which turnes all to their good, whom he hath eternally loved, must be no pre∣text for sinne.

[Object. 2] Againe, others come in and cavill; tush, what need you be so nice, grace may come in due season, no time past, and when it comes it never comes amisse? I answer: grace is precious at all times, after marriage as well as before, if a man were sure of it; but what ground have any to presume of it, without some word for it, much more being against it? God may be patient, and say, No time past: but neither is he tyed to it; and besides, they that tempt him, are most unlike

to speed well. Walke in his way, and then indeed, no time past: God may, yea, and will convey his grace to a poore soule that waits for him.

[Object. 3] But its further objected; the best (by their leave) have failed in their godly attempts, and found worse wives then they sought. I answer: yet, they may have peace in this, that they have sought God to the uttermost: he hath hid∣den himselfe from them in this particular, as the Prophet said to the Shunamite:* 1.128 but they have peace in their en∣devour, and therefore have no cause to give God over, but to hang upon him still, to finde mercy in another way, that is, in the bush burning and not consumed: that is, that by your prayers, God hath reserved mercy for them, and meanes to grace their enterprises at last, doing that for them in marriage, which he did not before. If the Lord please to heare them at last, it shall be well; and to such this free grace of his belongs, who though they have bin disappointed a while, yet it is in their obedience, and so includes an hope of further audience and supply from heaven. But I conclude, if any carefull ones have yet miscarried; surely, ten times more have done so for lacke of it.

[Object. 4] But many religious ones may have perilous qualities, and so dishonour marriage.* 1.129 Answ. If this be done in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry? what shall become of such as without restraint,* 1.130 even out of the abundance of their evill heart, bring forth such fruit with full purpose? Adde to this, their evill qualities come not from religion, but because they are not religious enough to bridle and morti∣fie their lusts. Its because they drowne the power of their religion in their owne sensuality and will; detai∣ning the truth in unrighteousnesse:* 1.131 and no doubt such would be much worse, if religion did not now and then step out to moderate.

[Object. 5] But if you tye us to such strictnesse, to marry onely in the Lord, what shall become of those persons that are not in the Lord. I answer. Take you no thought for them, take thought rather, how (in the swarme of such) you may shun

them, and light upon such as are the Lords. As for these, you shall not need to take thought for them; our rules will not much hinder their marriages, like will to like, doe we what we can, and the dead will bury the dead,* 1.132 the world will love their owne, and that to their mutuall sorrow; and all to teach us to love such the rather whom the Lord loveth.* 1.133 What have we to doe to judge them that are without? no, we speake to no other but the willing people, Psal. 110. 3. who will stand to be judged at Gods barre.

[Object. 6] But I have cast mine affection already upon such an one, and am snared. Answ. Then forbeare a while, till all means be tryed for the parties bettering, and so venture upon them. Object. * 1.134 But I cannot so farre deny my selfe. Answ. Thanke your selfe, God forceth no such necessity upon any, if they will be ruled. If not, their snaring themselves with a need∣lesse necessity, cannot make Gods command of no effect. If you can make to your selves such a necessity, as must breake a charge of God, then try how well you can endure the fruit of it, when sorrow, repentance and shame shall come upon you,* 1.135 as the necessity of an armed man. Is not as good reason, that you digest this gobbet, as that the Lord digest the other? yes surely.

[Object. 7] But when all is done, perhaps we shal misse of our choice desired, because there are so few to be found, in this wofull barren world, of such as be religious, and those who are but meerely civil are counted puritans, and those precise whose manners are not debauched. Answ. Set not Gods providence and his command together by the eares; as if he charged you to marry onely in the Lord, and yet debarred you from it in practice; so that either you must be forced to marry with all sorts, or else must not marry at all. No: God puts no such snare upon any: looke you to your selves, that you be such as you goe for, and the Lord will not deceive you; he hath good in store for the good. Its one of heavens workes to make good marriages:* 1.136 and hee who hath bad women in store for sinners, that they may fall by them; he hath also good ones for the good,* 1.137 that they may honour

marriage and him thereby: yea, and he hath wisdome, dis∣cerning of spirits, of the subtill shewes and guizes of all sorts, both hypocrites and other bad ones, so that (as sub∣till as the world is) they who loathe to be cheated by their dice-play,* 1.138 shall not want wisedome to judge, and savour to relish the good in the midst of the bad; they shall heare a voyce behinde them,* 1.139 saying, This is the way: and with∣all, giving them an eare to heare, and an heart to obey, and walke therein.

[Object. 8] But to conclude, wee have met (say some) with good companions, by providence, yet still are we letted; for our parents and friends (at least of one side) will not consent. I answer: perhaps you seeke among the good, and finde better then your selves, for some sinister end, the beauty or the portion of the party; otherwise unworthy to speed: and what wonder if a wise parent will not consent to be∣stow his childe upon you? But ye object: yes both of us being both religious and consenting, yet parents crosse us. I answer: If indeed it be so, tarry till I come to the next Chapter, and there I shall fall into that argument of the pa∣rents duty, and therefore I will not prevent my selfe. We have answered Objections enough, and more will occur af∣ter, enough therefore is said here. Let us hasten to some Vse of the point, wherein more satisfaction will be given to other questions.

* 1.140First, this is terrour and reproofe to the marriages of this degenerate age; wherein this duty of marrying in the Lord is cast off at large.* 1.141 As Rehoboams yonkers carried that weigh∣ty businesse of his Kingdome,* 1.142 and overthrew it: so doe the unruly and rebellious humours of most youth miscarry this.* 1.143 They knit and combine themselves together, as if they were right grave Counsellours, wiser then their parents and anci∣ents, disdaining that any should over-rule their rash and re∣bellious appetites;* 1.144 and so with rash resolutions and fury of undeniable passions, they rush themselves upon the pikes of eternall misery. If once their parents be dead, then most of these hot-spurs have made sure enough, for the honour of marriage: for by that time they come of yeeres (if not be∣fore)

most of them have embezeld their patrimonies. But if not, yet in this point of marriage this is their resolution▪ Give me her,* 1.145 for she pleaseth me well: (she may please well for a moment,* 1.146 though she be a prick in the eye, and a goade in the side for ever after.) And so for a vanishing content, to a vaine humour, what doe such, but enthrall themselves to a wanton, wastefull and wilfull ungodly companion? And as the Heathen said of a bad bargaine, it vexes the foo∣lish buyer more with the continuall upbraiding, then the losse of the money, so may I say of this: and as Sampson found this at leasure, for the wilfull minde he bare to have Delila: so doe these. But alas! there is no season for such as he was, to beleeve it (being intoxicate with the cup of inchant∣ment, disabling them from taking better counsell.) But why then speake I this? Surely, because I see religion among young couples, for the most part, is the first of those respects which are last thought of. Desperate and stollen waters are sweetest to such;* 1.147 like those of the Benja••ites, who rushing into a company of dancers,* 1.148 in their jollity, snatcht up each man his wife, as she came to hand, prove well or ill, for bet∣ter for worse: for why, they sought wives, not good ones, and that any way, so they had them. What a merry world were it for our debauched drunken youth in these our dayes, if they might choose their wives in such a lottery. To catch (among a drove) each one his owne marrow pell-mell: o•• what a brave thing were it? There is a pleasure in doing that which is forbidden, to our cursed nature, even because it is so: and if it were not so, they would dye upon a swords point, ere they would attempt it. And notwithstanding the woe of such marriages, both against Gods word, law of rea∣son, consent of parents, yea, the generall experience of such as are gone before them; yet, who may speake to such? Surely such matches are made in hell, like are fallen upon like by the Divels spokesmanship: as I confesse, better one house troubled with such, then two. But what a sad thing is it to thinke, what a cursed posterity such are like to hatch: I say such, as whereof one or two might poison an whole neighbourhood?* 1.149 Druken meetings, marriages, revel∣lings,

Marquets, Fayres, Tavernes and Alehouses, being the places wherein such chuse their companions. But of this enough.

A second sort coming here to be reproved,* 1.150 are not so de∣bauched as these, and yet reproved for their carelesnesse to marry in the Lord.* 1.151 Many, not grosly prophane, yet because but civill, trusting to their wit and policy alone, thinking themselves secure enough, although they goe not so spiritu∣ally to worke, as to marry in the Lord, are to be taxed by this doctrine. So long as they can marry morally, such as are free from grosse crimes, uncleannesse, riot, alehouse-haun∣ting, and the like: such as are of a sweet carriage, fashio∣nable, and compleat, brought up well to a pleasing and out∣wardly gracefull behaviour; especially, if there be any meanes to live competently in the world, good husbandry and housewivery; oh, they thinke their choice is excellent; yea, when children themselves stagger for conscience sake, at such offers, yet their parents are earnest for the match, and vexe themselves to see their children so precise. And in∣deed no wonder, when Morality (in these times) is counted precisenesse. And yet, tell me, what oddes is there between those Benjamites I spake of,* 1.152 and those children of God mar∣rying the daughters of men, the posterity of Sheth with ido∣laters? what wofull impes proceeded from such a mixture? And the truth is, even such as professe religion are growne to make such matches without any checke. The common question now, not onely among great ones, or among pro∣phane ones, but even among the ordinary sort, and such as professe religion, is, What shall she have? What is she worth? What joynture can he make?* 1.153 who will shew us any good? As if men were selling of cattell in a marquet? Not thus; What is the woman? how brought up? how qualified with knowledge, love of Gods Church, meekenesse, modesty, or other fruits of faith and the spirit? which yet are the onely ornaments of wealth and beauty, yea, more in price with God, then all they possesse, who enquire so little after them. But by that time, some of these, by had example, and for want of the fear of God, grow to be bad companions, others

uncleannesse, others spendthrifts, and the like; then their parents (who so shunned religious ones before) can wish they had matcht them with religious ones too. But its just that they pierce themselves through with cares, who seeke religion out of season, rather out of their own ends then for her selfe. Hence it is, that such solemne marriages in the world, as begin with great hopes and honour; yet within a few yeeres turne to misery, beggery, imprisonment, defi∣ance of each other to the pit of hell. Why? Surely because they sought other things as chiefe, money, and beauty, and the like, but not religion; just it is with God to forsake them and leave them destitute, not onely of that they sought not, but also of that which they over-chiefly cove••ed. Not to speake of those base and wicked shifts, which some of them are faint to come to, as flattery of their betters, unclean relations, banquerupt-like wayes, to borrow what they can, and leave men in the lu••ch. Ill marriages are one cause of banquerupts, though not the onely; for many streams there are, that cause this banke to overflow so excessively now a dayes. So much of this.

Thirdly,* 1.154 this is reproofe, and that of two sorts: first, such as whereof neither party is religious:* 1.155 secondly, whereof onely either of the two is such. Touching the former, we see a wofull patterne of Ahab and Iezabel,* 1.156 of whom neither was better (though perhaps the one lesse ill) but conspired together, and set forward each other to mischiefe. And in∣deed so it commonly fals out,* 1.157 that if both be bad, the woman proves the went. Its much what, in this sexe, as in the in∣feriour natures of creatures,* 1.158 the shee-Beare, Lyonesse or Wolfe, is the most savage and fierce: so here, the impoten∣cy and unbridelednesse of the sexe, makes her more subject to rage, unrighteousnesse, revenge and wickednesse then a man: not to speake of the naturall perswasivenesse of such, incensing to evill forcibly, ever since Eve tempted Adam. I••zabel provoking Ahab to be farre worse then himselfe,* 1.159 by saying, Art thou now King of Israel? and lyest thou upon thy bed as a foole? Com••, and I will give thee the vineyard of Na∣both, &c. The corruption of best is worst; and when she who

by her kinde, should have bin the most modest, becomes bold, she commonly keepes no bounds of immodesty. Two are better then one (saith Salomon) and woe to him that is alone:* 1.160 but here we may sadly invert the words, and say, One were better then two;* 1.161 and woe to those couples who are both bad: better had it bin for such to have lived in the moun∣tains, to bewaile their virginity, yea, to dwell with the foxes and wilde beasts, in extreame solitarinesse (where no other then misery can be looked for) then to enter into an hoped condition of welfare, to double and treble their owne sor∣rowes, sin and judgement; making each other much more the children of Satan then before.* 1.162

And verily, it is the usuall destiny of the most Families, to be pestred with such couples, whereof neither is religious, but both rude and prophane, and studying who should excell the other therein. If the one dare lye, the other dare sweare to it: if the one slander, the other will avow it; if one be bad, the other will be worse. And this pleaseth him that brought them together, on life; that by their vying and out∣vying each other in evill, they should approve their thanke and service unto him: joyning to morall sinnes, the omit∣ting or despising of Gods worship and Ordinances within doores or without, as Word, Sacrament, prayer and duties. Alas! put case that bad couples are not combined in open ungodlinesse and malice, but onely in a meere, civill, form••ll and saplesse religion, keeping of Sabbaths barrenly, or mutu∣all complacence in each other, for the raking up of money, making great portions for their children, ill brought up, and like to spend it as prodigally, and mocke them for their la∣bour (as one lately did, who after his fathers death, having found out his hoord of mony,* 1.163 cryed out, Oh faithful drudge!) and so waste it out in bravery and fashions, pride and pompe of life. Or put case they live in a meere harmlesnesse of course, spending out their dayes in working, eating, slee∣ping, neither doing good nor grosse evill, welcoming and visiting neighbours, liuing curteously (wihch I confesse is the best of such) yet alas! what a miserable life is this in comparison of the true gaine and sweet of a

marriage religiously carried? But yet the worst is be∣hinde.

For why?* 1.164 rarely doe we see couples thus married to re∣pent themselves of their course; but wanze away like sha∣dowes, except they dye like beasts, without sense; and even as they have entred basely, and lived worse, so the last act of their life is worst, and they dye impenitent. Oh then! in Gods feare, let me speake unto you, and be admonished ere it be too late, (ere either the one of you be swept from the other, or both to destruction,) to consider your sinne at the first, humbling your soule for it, and much more for the long thred of your former course, which you have spent amisse. And if neither of you will at all profit, by either word or workes of God, while you live together, but goe on hardned in your mutuall wickednesse; yet when God shal separate the one from the other, by death, crying out lamentably of his or her sinfull course; oh, let the survivour be yet gastred out of his den, and with that third Captaine of fifty, cry out to God, and say, Although thou hast parted us Lord, and my companion be dead in sinne, yet let my life (I pray thee) be precious in thy sight:* 1.165 unsettle me from those lees upon which I am setled, (for want of roling) that I may breake off my long prophane, fruitlesse conversation, and seeke thy face, and re∣cover my selfe,* 1.166 ere I depart and be seene no more! Oh! it were better (I grant) if the Lord were so pleased, that as both of you have bin partners in sinne, and one corrupt flesh; so you might both together repent, and become one spirit in the Lord, both of ye might be rouzed by his terrours out of your dead sleepe; that the one being humbled, might gaster his fellow, and say, husband, wife, seest thou not that Gods hand is out against us, and his wrath is upon us; we are under all adversity, our bodies, soules, children and affaires, nothing prospers: oh, we have made use a long time each of other, for the divels vantage,* 1.167 till our bones be full of the sin of our youth: except we returne in time, God will be avenged on us, and send us to our place and long home of misery: Alas! we have never honoured marriage, as other holy couples have done; its strange patience that yet we are on this

side hell: let us now joyne together, and turne to the Lord, that if possible, all may be forgotten and forgiven. Oh! happy you, if ever you should live to see that day! happy your poore children and family, whose soules you should snatch out of the fire, and be instruments of pulling them out of that misery unto which you have bred them. But I forbeare.

But there is a fourth sort of marriages,* 1.168 whereof either par∣ty onely is religious.* 1.169 These also are to be humbled for their ungrounded attempt, the one for ventring upon an irreligi∣ous yokefellow; the other for irreligious entrance. Zachary and Elizabeth are commended,* 1.170 that they were both just; ther∣fore it is a staine to such marriages, as wherein either party is good,* 1.171 the other opposite to it. Example whereof we have in Scripture;* 1.172 David and Michal, Nabal and Abigail, Iob and his wife.* 1.173 The Lord who forbad to sowe one field with di∣vers seedes,* 1.174 or to weare a garment of linsey-wolsey, much more abhors that the marriage-bed should be defiled with per∣sons of divers religious;* 1.175 for we know no opposition is so strong, as that which is spirituall; and how then should there be amity and love, where the seeds of greatest enmity abide? What a tempting of God is it, to draw the yoke of God with one that drawes in the yoke of the Divell? O•• (as Paul speaks in the like case) What fellowship is there betweene Christ and Belial, the beleever and the infidell? what is such an union, save a monster compounded of divers natures, by an adulterous mixture? What a noysome thing were it for a lively and healthy body to walke with a dead ca••casse bound to it, backe to backe? How long could it continue? how should it avoid putrifaction? as appeareth by the manner of that punishment, in some cases inflicted, among the Hea∣thens; as that image of Nebuchadnezzar, which had the bo∣dy made of mettals,* 1.176 and the feet of clay, could not abide long without dissolution; so neither can that temper which con∣sists of such contraries. And hitherto adde that (which one well observeth,) that when good and bad joyne together, seldome is the worse bettered by the good, but often the bet∣ter is marred by the worser party. The browne bread in the

oven wil be sure to fleece from the white, not that from it. How can it otherwise be, in this so neere a knot of marriage? since its seldome seene, but its so in all other fellowships? when the one party is patient, devout, meeke, sober, a lover of the Word, conscionable in Sabbaths, and the use of meanes; the other carelesse, froward, unchaste, intemperate and pro∣phane? what a corrasive must the one needs be to the other? and instead of an helper,* 1.177 what a continuall dropping? was it a savory thing (thinke we) to Iob to heare his wife bid him Curse God and dye?* 1.178 himselfe being so armed with pati∣ence, as to say, Shall wee receive good things of God, and not evill?

When David danced before the Lord, and in the height of zeale brought home the Arke of God, was it a pleasing thing to heare Micol to call him foole for his labour?* 1.179 and although they are not so grosse as to scoffe at their husbands or wives, yet what a crosse is it, to have such lying in our bosomes as are of a diverse minde? what complaint is so usuall in these dayes as to heare the complaints of good husbands, of ill wives, and wives of husbands, through this desparity? Some ma∣king their moane for the churlishnesse, straightnesse, malici∣ousnesse, restraint from use of meanes; others, for other eye-sores, of which sort unequall marriages are infinitely fruit∣full? So rare are those couples, of whom it may be said, They draw mutually and equally in one yoke;* 1.180 as Zachary and Eli∣zabeth, both just, diligent hearers, zealous worshippers, lo∣vers of God, of good men, and the like! And hence it is, that there is oftentimes little difference betweene those families in which both be bad, and those in which onely either party is good; because commonly the better party makes himselfe but a prey to the other. Religion must alway be the disad∣vantage of the party, and the irreligious must beare the chiefe sway:* 1.181 even as the elder brother will domin••••e over the yonger, because of his birth-right; so, the better party must ever looke to be the underling. As we say or a syll••••••••••••, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the conclusion ever followeth the weaker 〈…〉〈…〉 Ala••! where both parties are as they ought, how 〈…〉〈…〉 is done? ••o many cro••••es, business•••• of the world,

debts and temptations by sinne and Satan come betweene, that even the comfort of such marriages goes neere together: what good is like to be done, when the one is alway thwar∣ting the other, in the duties of the family, or lesser occasions? I say, when the maine is crazie, how shall the rest be sode∣red? But enough of these.

To passe therefore to another sort of couples:* 1.182 how many husbands are of this ranke, disaffected to their religious wives, and yet for some by-respects and ends of their owne, will tolerate them in their profession of religion, and use of means? But alas! full ill is it against their wils, if by any counsell, be∣nefit or perswasion they could be withdrawne from it, how glad would they be?* 1.183 Nay, if they could divert their affecti∣ons from this way to any worldly way of feasting, jollity and companionship, how much rather would they chuse to be at double or treble cost to maintaine it, rather then at a single one, to nourish the other? So that, if they permit them not their religion with gibing and geering them openly, yet with a secret disdaine. If (say they) our wives will needs be precise, let them: why? Is it because you love it in them? No: for then they should have your company, and you would be like them: (wheras now you suffer them by a kinde of connivence, winking at them, and looking betweene the fingers:) But why? perhaps they being men of a more in∣different and gentle nature, and convinced by the secret grace which breakes out in their wives,* 1.184 which they cannot smo∣ther; and now and then (especially in the time of their feare of death) acknowledging their state to be better then their owne: besides, beholding sundry gracefull qualities in their wives, which tend to their owne honour and credit in the opinion of others, beholding them to be in esteeme with some of their betters; and themselves accepted the better for their sakes: sometimes also stirred in conscience to de∣sire they were as they are,* 1.185 though when their pangs be over, their lusts doe againe surprize them: I say, by such second motives many men (not being Nabals and base blockes) be∣ing perswaded better of their wives, then others are; as se••∣ing their estates to be the more prosperous, by their frug••ll

housewifely, and wise managing thereof; they grow more indifferent toward them, and especially their persons and sweet innocent behaviours gracing them in their eyes, And by such meanes, many women unequally yoked, live at bet∣ter tearmes then others doe.

But alas!* 1.186 how few of such husbands are drawne to God (as the Apostle saith) by the conversation of the wives, or wives by such husbands? but put it off with a tricke; you see (say they) what our wives affect, they must have their wils, we must not crosse them, for then all were out of order; let them alone and run their course, as poore silly women may doe: but as for us, who are wiser, and have greater affaires to looke after;* 1.187 we must play the good husbands at home, and hold in matters together.* 1.188 Well, take heed you wise fellows, lest you be taken in your owne snare,* 1.189 beware lest God pull ye not downe from that pride and jollity,* 1.190 by which you look over religion, as a meane thing, under your worth and em∣ployment. The wisedome of man is but foolishnesse with God, and when the glory of this world shall be abased, and bid you farewell, then Gods matters will beare some price, and Maries portion may hap to be wished. Oh therefore (as Paul saith) what knowest thou, O man, whether God have appointed thy wife to occasion thy conversion? Oh, its death to many a bad man, to thinke, that a woman should beare stroke or sway with him in the cause of God? they will not yeeld so farre, as to grace their wives with such a victory? Its well, if her ornament prove not her greatest de∣triment, and she have not much soure sauce to digest her sweet meat. But as for following her steps to heavens, oh! it were too great honour to the wife? well, you shall wish you had esteemed it your owne greatest honour! Meane time, the greater shall her thank be with God, by how much her religion hath cost her the setting on: if she suffer not her zeale and grace to quaile by any discouragements, till she see better things at last, after her long patience, to be wrought in her husband. Oh thou unequall husband! art thou con∣tent to pocket up all the commodities and contents of a good wife, and to take all which religion affords thee in thy wife,

for thine owne ends, never looking whence this mast fals? wilt thou love the daughter thrift, modesty, subjection, so∣briety, teaching of thy children, and carest thou not for the mother, religion, which bred them all? How base is it to love the effect, and to dislike the cause? to desire that these good qualities were in a wife without religion, rather then by them to behold the beauty thereof? Take heed, resist not the light, stop not your eyes from beholding that Sun whose beames you are so much beholding too.

I conclude this fourth branch (being a very materiall one) with an admonitory ca••eat to such persons,* 1.191 whose wisdome will be (as I take it) to make a vertue of a necessity, either in drawing the backward party to a better passe, or them∣selves to a more patient bearing of their burden.* 1.192 First there∣fore, let such say with Pharao's Butler, I remember my sinne this day,* 1.193 the sinne of rash entrance into marriage, my sensu∣ality and yeelding to mine appetite, without consulting with God. These and other sinnes of thy youth, open before God, that he may cover them. Redeeme thy former neglect by pre∣sent diligence, in humbling thy soule, and praying to God for pardon; it is never out of season to doe so, if the fruit be not as thou desirest, yet it shall be some supply of thy want of good marriage, and an ease of thy sorrow. As for thy com∣panion, poure out thy soule to God for him, as Abraham for Ismael,* 1.194 Oh that he might live in thy sight! If conscience move thee not, yet let self-love doe it, for thou art like to en∣joy the good. And with spirituall meanes, joyne sutable pra∣ctice, commend whatsoever is praise-worthy in thy compa∣nion (for the worst have some good parts) that it may ap∣peare, that thou art loth to bury good under the clod of evill, and wouldst be glad to commend for somewhat: for so God himselfe doth,* 1.195 Deut. 5. 28. &c. infirmities passe by, and marke not (for who speakes of a scar, when the body is crooked?* 1.196) grosser evils so observe, as waiting thy season to reprove them, and that with all mercy and meeknesse, lest thou ex∣asperate instead of mending; joyne especially a convincing and winning conversation, for this glasse will say more then all thy words;* 1.197 nay (if Saint Peter may be beleeved) more

then the word it selfe sometimes. And they are no men nor women, whom such a carriage will not win in time. But put case God still answers not thy desires: fret not against thy lot (which is Gods providence) nor by comparison of wor∣ser folkes better successe.* 1.198 But possesse thy soule with pati∣ence, beare this indignation a while,* 1.199 till the evill be over∣past; thou drinkest of no other cup,* 1.200 then that which thou hast filled for thy selfe. Moderate such pangs and melan∣cholique passions of discontent, as doe attend such a condi∣tion, and be not froward with the froward, knowing that the Divell is seldome outshot in his owne bow. Especially thou woman (if it be thy lot) beware of it, let not flye against either marriage or procurers thereof, lest religion beare the reproach of thy folly.* 1.201 No man puts new cloth into old gar∣ments, lest the breach be worse.* 1.202 And (if I might advise) I would wish such rather to conceale their grievances, then to open them much, especially to strangers: and it requires great wisdome to do it to any, most of all with ripping up all grievances before witnesses: for hereby, as secrets become reproaches, so, that which might have bin healed, is quite made incurable, by over-deepe search and exasperating. However the issue prove,* 1.203 waxe not desperate, still hope; the name of the Lord is a strong tower,* 1.204 the righteous flee to it, and are preserved. Thou art not alone in thy griefe, live by that faith whereby Iob, Abiga••l, others lived & do live, and thou shalt see what end the Lord shall make; keepe still thy humility,* 1.205 care and diligence: The way of the Lord is streight to him that walketh uprightly, though there were no other.* 1.206 Above all, beware of justifying thy base heart, under colour of thy companions more apparant sinfulnesse: play not the hypocrite, as many doe, who promise great mat∣ters, if free of the crosse, who yet being set at liberty, disco∣ver themselves to be wanton, worldly and carnall: somtime stumbling at the same stone which before gave them a fall, and becomming worse in good marriages then they were at the first in bad. And thus much for this first Vse, with the Cautions thereof.

[Vse. 2] The second Vse is Instruction: teaching us by compari∣son

to esteeme and judge what is the most excellent object for the married to behold in each other.* 1.207 And that must needs be sound religion;* 1.208 very heathens could say so of their vertue, that she is desirable for her self: how much more we of this? No other things are so; they have their desirednesse,* 1.209 yet for that they are in order serving to better ends, rather then for ought in themselves. And as wisdome it selfe usually in Scripture is spoken of in this kinde, that she is better then Rubies,* 1.210 the Topaze, the treasures of the East, no gold is like her:* 1.211 so is a good woman furnish•• with this grace, more precious then all pearles. Even as also an husband is: birth, education, meanes and wealth, greatly conduce to a compleatnesse and contentment of marriage: but as for ma∣king it happy and honourable, they reach it not: onely reli∣gion can doe that. They are as the second sort of worthies of David, which attain'd not to the first. Many daughters have done well,* 1.212 but thou hast the birth-right, and surmoun∣test them all. There is an honour of complement, and there's an honour of substance: the former may stand in externals; the latter onely in religion. Salomons words will expresse the point;* 1.213 That which is desirable in a man is his goodnesse: no man is praised for that which is out of him, but for that which is within him.* 1.214 Secondly, there is no comparison be∣twixt the graces of the minde, with outward abilities; for the one is of absolute necessity, the other not. It being not absolutely necessary, that a man should be well bred or weal∣thy: but its necessary that he be religious: without the one he may live, and maintaine the honour of marriage (though in the other there is usefulnesse) but without the other he cannot.* 1.215 Lastly, in respect of the absence of either: better want a pound of the one (if want must be) then a dram of the other. Wealth and parts will not recompence the lacke of religion (for they are under it in their kinde:) but she can supply theirs with an hundred fold. The conclusion is, learn we to settle our judgements solidly upon this truth; that so our eye be not bleared with the false and erronious opini∣ons of the world; which (as in all other respects, so) in this point, forsake the rule of God, for vaine shadowes and emp∣linesse;

and having embraced them all their life time, seek∣ing in the creature, that which is not there to be had: (for as apparell cannot feed, nor meat cloath, nor any thing ex∣ceed his owne spheare; so neither can beauty reach be∣yond that is in her, nor riches above that is in them:) they cry out at last, taught by experience of fooles, we have lost the body for the shadow, embraced vanity and for∣saken mercy:* 1.216 All is vanity! So it was at the first, but you saw it not.

[Vse 3] Thirdly, let this admonish us, to shun all delusions and er∣rours in this kinde,* 1.217 which might destroy the honour of mar∣riage. Imagine not, that profit and pleasure can doe the worke of honouring marriage.* 1.218 An Heathen could say, These are but by-respects in a lower contract of friendship: how much more here? when sweet and profit are once worne off, as the nap from the fine cloth, nothing remaines behinde save thred-barenesse: as when the leves are blowne off the rose, nothing is left save the prickle. Not so here: for although she begin with some sourenesse, yet she is durable and outlasting.* 1.219 Secondly, be not gulled with the rashnesse of such brainsicke ideots, as thinke marriage to be magicke, that looke what defect so ever there be in couples, yet mar∣riage will accommodate all suddenly. Marry them (saith one) and all will doe well enough. Can marriage make all errours vanish? Is any man so mad as to thinke, that because he hath a great summe to pay, therefore he may convey twenty slips into it, and not be discarded? shall not each peece come to the weights? Surely that which in the severall is naught, cannot doe well in the com∣pound. Once (as our English story mentions) there was in the English Court a very sweet Lady, called Iane-make-peace; which no sooner perceived any little difference among the Nobles or Courtiers, but she would accord them presently. But this office is onely in religious marriage, not marriage onely: nay, rather marriages ill entred upon, are commonly so farre from sweet accord, that rather after∣ward they prove worse; for then doth the divell present more baits of liberty, to an unbrideled heart, then before.

The old speech is, Magistracy makes not the man, but dis∣covers what mettell is in him.* 1.220 Be not deceived, God is not mocked: as a man sowes, so shall he reape; of wheat, wheate; of darnell, darnell; and he were mad who would looke for other.* 1.221 Thirdly, neither let any thinke, that in un∣equall marriages, the religious husband (as the stronger) may better adventure upon an irreligious wife, then a chri∣stian woman upon an husband of that straine: for my part, I have seene small oddes in the bargaine; Salomons words prove too true here,* 1.222 Victory is not alway to the strong: its ill grapling by strong hand with an headstrong woman. She should be the weaker vessell, but when she is perverted, she proves the stronger in mischiefe. The sum of all is, let none that feare God venture upon those that doe not: and let all seeke for their parts, to be in the Lord, before marriage. Above all, let second marriages beware of adventuring in this kinde, upon each other for advantage sake (an errour very rise in this kinde) for enhansing themselves for jol∣lity, and a braver and fuller life, then formerly they were content with: for it fals out commonly, that by one ap∣pendant or other; as charge of children, perfidiousnesse in the valuing of their estates, costlinesse of diet or ap∣parell, or by some unexpected canker, wasting the apple at the core, God cuts their combe, fils their new hopes with new sorrow, and makes them wish that they were but as they have bin, forfeiting all their felicity for naught. So much for this.

[Vse 4,] The last Vse is Exhortation, to excite and perswade all to marry in the Lord:* 1.223 an exhortation at all times necessary: but so specially necessary in these gulling and cheating dayes, that who so should reject this counsell, were worthy to give it himselfe too late, upon costly experience. And truely I lesse blame them, who are of good estate, fearing God, for their buying good wives, by forsaking greater worldly contents: which commonly are joyned with grea∣ter perill (for great portions commonly goe with great sto∣macks, high spirits, costly fashion, and great expences.) They therefore who can deny a little pompe, may buy much

peace, and redeeme both their owne and their childrens safety, with a little selfe-deniall in outward respects, when∣as they are fure to gaine it in spirituall. But I digresse not. Still I presse the point, Marry in this Lord: concerning the which,* 1.224 I would commend three duties to the well-affected. The first concerning youth before their entrance into this e∣state. The second more closely concerning such as purpose to change their estate. The third concerning them upon their contract.

Touching the first,* 1.225 the dutie of yong ones growing up to∣ward this estate, is this, That they redeeme their golden op∣portunity of youth and single life: improving all such helps either publique or private; all such counsels of their ancients; all examples of such as are commendable in this kinde, espe∣cially any such motions of the spirit in the ordinances, whereby they are inclined to seeke the Lord to be their por∣tion, in pardon and grace. Remember this is your season of getting about you such a stocke of provision, as may here∣after stand by you. This is your golden time; each period following will prove worse downward, even brasse, iron, and clay. Marke how the greater sort of youth dally out their precious time, never setting their hearts to Remember their Creator in the dayes of their youth:* 1.226 but to licke up the common scurfe of the times, to learne fashions, comple∣ments, carriage (which a vaile little for the maine) to stand upon their great births, portions or hopes, and so to live bravely. But how to be fit for such a solemne change (I speake not of death (for that's out of thought, out of season for youth) but of marriage, if God bring them to it; that so out of the treasure which they have gotten, they may bring forth direction,* 1.227 how to order themselves, or make their estate honourable and comfortable, its furthest from their thought, What? doe you heare, that the chiefe way to honour mar∣riage, is, entring with the Lord? and doe you not conclude, that so weighty a matter will cost you a great deale of pre∣paring? What should you then doe beforehand? Surely, as your parents are busie about providing your portion (which is their worke) so,* 1.228 be you busied a better way, about that one

thing necessary, to get the pearle in the field, to seeke the Lord while that he may be found. Heathen Poets bring in Virgins upon the stage, professing that they take no thought for their matches, they looke at modesty and good report. The lesse you are busied about things lesse needfull, the more may you attend that one thing, which shall never be taken from you. Except in these dayes of your youth, wherein each thing is sweet, the maine worke be thought of, the dayes are coming (and that perhaps long ere old age) of which you shall say, you have no pleasure in such objects: there may come a day of uncomfortable marriage,* 1.229 losses of estate, death of husband, of wife, sorrow of heart for your ill matching, and then how will you doe? Is it not just to such, as set the chiefe things behinde? yes verily.

Remember our Saviours words to Peter,* 1.230 When thou wast yong, thou girdedst thy selfe, and went'st whither thou wouldst; but when thou art old, another shall gird thee, and lead thee whi∣ther thou wouldest not. Thou mayest (perhaps) meet with an un∣pleasing girdle; thy great charge of children, calling for thy care and maintenance; the world frowning upon thee, and not answering thy hopes; a riotous and spend thristy hus∣band, or waspish and untoward wife (for so it may be,* 1.231 when thou hast sought the greatest prevention of it, if God will so try thee) debts, diseases, reproaches pursuing thee: in the midst of all these, little leisure to wait upon the Ordinances, which should infuse the grace of support into thee: and per∣haps (which is worst) as small an heart after it. Then, when all these have made they life unpleasant, and thy conscience coming upon all,* 1.232 with a worse streame, and causing an over∣flow of sorrow unto thee; what shalt thou doe? God hath dealt righteously in it, because thou contemnest all helpes in thy youth, and therefore in thy trouble, sends thee to thy idoll beauty, money, will, laughing at thy misery: how wilt thou then wish thou hadst but that former liberty granted thee, to marry in the Lord?* 1.233 Oh! how eagerly are things loved, out of their season? Alas! the spirit blowes where it lists, time and tide must not stay upon thee; thou hadst them, and woul∣dest not use the watchwords thereof wisely: why should

the spirit any longer strive with thee, but rather suffer thy sailes to stand still for ever?* 1.234 If this then be the time of gir∣ding thy loynes with grace for time to come, gird them with that precious girdle of knowledge, sincerity, selfe-denyall, faith, patience, and the like: learne to weare the yoke of God from thy youth,* 1.235 and it shall not pinch thee in thine age. By this girding of thine owne soule, thou shalt be fit to ad∣mit of Gods unpleasing girdles for time to come, crosses (if they come) shall befall thee in thine innocency, so as thou shalt know how to defray them, and the Lord shall be affli∣cted with thee in thy afflictions,* 1.236 and teach thee how to passe thy marriage with comfort. But if this counsell will doe thee no good, but perhaps thou hast learned to doe as the world doth, that is, to welter in thy sorrowes, and to beare them off with head and shoulders, so that thou canst goe on through a second, or a third marriage (if it so fall out) with as gracelesse an heart, as through the first. Certain∣ly, there remaines nothing for thee, save that thy end prove worse then thy beginning, because thy troubles brought thee not upon thy knees for thy former sinne,* 1.237 but ra∣ther thou walkest on still in the frowardnesse of thine heart.* 1.238

I proceed to a second duty,* 1.239 when thou intendest a change; that is, be sure thou doe nothing rashly, but use all possible wisdome, that as thou hast sought the Lord, so he would bring thee to a sutable companion. A great worke, I grant, and thou wilt aske how it may be effected.* 1.240 I will labour to satisfie thy desire with these advis••s following.* 1.241 First, deny thy selfe, renounce that carnall wisdome, presumption and will of thine owne, which ascribes so much to it selfe, as if it nee∣ded no advice: submit thy selfe to the Lord, doe not at first rush thy selfe upon marriage by a necessity of nature,* 1.242 or by custome of the world,* 1.243 or because yeeres require it, or out of base ends, to give way to thy lust: but let it be thy care to preserve thy vessell in holinesse and honour: abstaine from all provocations to lust, be much in prayer for a sanctificati∣on of every age and condition of life, perhaps the Lord hath appointed thee a single life, which may be much better for

thee then marriage to honour God in; perhaps thou art not a meet man for marriage; but it would prove incommodious for thee: however, its thy duty to try what God hath for thee in store, and many repent them for their yeelding to the first pangs of unbrideled youth, and wish they had not given way so soone to an impotent humour; nay, many who at the first intended no other save marriage, yet by their more wary and temperate diet, company, and by subduing their flesh by fasting and prayer,* 1.244 meditation, and close attendance of study, calling, or the ordinances of God, have obtained such a gift of chastity, that they see it is rather the way of God, they should not marry* 1.245. There are some (saith our Savi∣our) who are Eunuches borne: marriage were a snare to such (notwithstanding their frothy concupiscence) and some have made themselves so for the kingdome of heaven.* 1.246 Cha∣stity is a peculiar gift of God, all will grant; and God will have it appeare in some, that grace hath more strength then nature hath, as against lusts, so above lawfull liberties: and he who adviseth continence to some,* 1.247 in times of danger, es∣pecially in which marriage might prove a clogge; and other∣wise also for a more close cleaving to God, without marri∣age distractions; there is no doubt, but he hath grace suta∣ble to frame some men and women,* 1.248 for this very purpose. And sure it is,* 1.249 where such a gift is, God is highly honoured with the pure and undivided spirit of such as serve him in that condition. Therefore all due meanes must be used for the attaining of it, till the minde of God be knowne in this kinde;* 1.250 and no man ought to forestall providence in that re∣spect: weigh well thy strength or thy weaknesse in the bal∣lance, lay before thee the burdens and service of marriage; thy bodily or spirituall abilities or imperfections, play not the part of a foole, to say after marriage, I never thought it such a state, I see now I am not meet for it: that should have bin thought of before: informe thy selfe duly of the conve∣niences and inconveniences of each condition, the single and the married; and when all is done, if God incline thee to a private state, reserve thy selfe to it; I say not to thee, vowe it,* 1.251 for who knowes but thy minde and body may alter, and require a change? but so long as by thy abstinence from all provocations, and watchfull eye over thy selfe, thou canst

keepe thy selfe chaste, and prove it by the contentation of thy spirit, without noy somenesse, and neglect of the duties of thy place: thou maist gather the will of God by the signe, and so thou art to yeeld thy selfe to a single life; wherein although there cannot but fall out some petty discommodities (in some kinde) yet they ought to be digested meekely, for the a voy∣ding of worse, and the attaining of the benefit of a single estate. For when God is in a condition, that shall be tole∣rable to one, which would be burdensome to another; and there is no state wholly free from trouble in this world, one∣ly that is to be embraced (as neere as we can) which is free from the most. And having once understood the way of God, goe not out of it wilfully, nor dally not with him, in such weighty purposes: if it please him to alter thy minde, thou shalt understand it by signes easily, and maist without sinne, follow him, so thy sinne be not accessary. So much for the first counsell, which I desire may be conceived of discreetly, and not mistaken.

The secondly,* 1.252 if notwithstanding this triall, thou shalt finde,* 1.253 that God hath alotted marriage to thee, know, its a lawfull condition of life, be resolved it is so, be not snared with feare, melancholy, or any distemper; although it be joyned with many troubles, yet they shall be the lester when God tels thee, its best, and thy gaine shall be above thy losse; cast thy selfe upon the ordinance in such a case, to make it sweet. And therefore prepare thy selfe for it, deny thine owne rebellion, pride, passions, will and lust: know that marriage is no state (as many thinke) of licenciousnesse, to live at ease, and as a man list. They who are of that minde, neede no other plague then their owne errour to vexe them, when they meet with the contrary. No, no, this estate is not for an untamed heifer: as soon mayst thou force an Vni∣corne to plow with thy Oxen,* 1.254 as thy rude spirit to draw in thy yoke of marriage. Learne therefore self-deniall betimes (its as essentiall for a married life as for a single) humility and wisdome, and how hardly this hard Theme will be hand∣led, till the heart be subdued and meekened before. For all unbroken ones are like to finde sorrow in the flesh,

double and treble.* 1.255 If it be so in the greene tree, how much more in the dry? If it be unavoydable to the best, how much more to them who seeke it?* 1.256 So much for the se∣cond.

Thirdly,* 1.257 be warned against the common difease both of errour and practice,* 1.258 which hath overflowed the world, and so bleared the eyes of men, that they can see nothing, save the outsides of things. Suffer not beauty, breeding, portion, personage, education, with complementall behaviour, fashi∣onablenesse, and the like, so to bribe thy judgement, and fore∣stall thine affections, that religion should come too late, and be thrust out from consultation. Beware of covetousnesse, pride of life and jollity, ambitious and aspiring thoughts, to count none meet for thee, save such as are transcendent. The world is now a dayes become a great snare; each yong one, scarce out of the shell, tickles himselfe with the propo∣sall of great hopes to himselfe, and telling him, His fortunes are great, and he may marry in so and so high a degree, and what is so high but his hopes may equall? And thus, not looking at his base beginnings, and unlikelihoods of any thing, but puffing up himselfe with offers, with conceit of his owne worth, he growes to thinke the world too narrow to chuse in. And never, I thinke, was the spirit of the male-sex so vast, as in this age, wherein the multitude of the fe∣male sexe, and the contempt thereof, hath brought it to passe, that every boy new out of his prentiship, values himselfe by the scores and hundreths, although scarce worth a groat be∣sides his occupation. And the most men deeme none, be they never so religious (which in our Fathers dayes would have bin counted rich matches) fair or good enough for him. except beauty and wealth in an higher degree then common make them so. In so much, that except parents overstraine and halfe exhaust themselves to dowre their daughters, be they otherwise never so well brought up and deserving, they lye by as no body.

[Quest.] But what? will some say, Doe you envie our lot to be bet∣ter now, then in former times? or is it unlawfull to marry to wealthy ones,and our betters? [Answ.] I answer. If God lay out

a portion for you, (without your politicke ambitious seek∣ing) and such an one, as whose portion in grace equals her estate, yea such as in judgement desire you for your religi∣on, although you are inferiour otherwise, I deny not, but (friends consenting) it is lawfull; God hath brought such a vantage to your hands. But what is this to mens covetous and proud desires? As one once said of his second match, I will now have a gallant, whatsoever it cost me; and so he had such a one as he fancied. But by that time he had win∣tred and summered her a while, his bladder was so prickt, that he sadly wisht he had one of his former wives sise and fashion, as plaine as he then thought her to be. I conclude thus, overweene not your selves (when there is little worth in you) to equall the meanest women, or husbands; but mo∣derate your spirits, and marry in the Lord. Nothing hinders but the Lord and outward meanes may concurre (as the case may stand) and then the question is ended. But if it be so, that a match of 500. pounds be offred with the Lord, and another of seven or eight hundreth without him, or at least, without any apparent hopes of him, what then shall be done? I an∣swer, other conditions being concurrent in any tolerable proportion, despise the greater offer, and take the lesser, counting the misse of thy gaine happy, and the gaine of her grace with that losse, more happy. Buy thy wife in such a case,* 1.259 if thou be wise, and let it appeare, that Gods oracles are no tyes with thee. If her price be above pearles, I trow, thou who wilt not part with a little gold or silver for it, art well worthy, for thy betraying her for a little pel••e, to betray thy selfe to sorrow; and to have bag and baggage and all. Tell me, in what marquet couldest thou traffique so well, as to game a pearle for a little silver? doubtlesse, thy silver would not recompe••ce thy losse, if thou shouldest chuse it, with a farre lesse bargaine. The times have bin, wherein the man was to bring a dowry to the woman (though I think they held not long) I am sure Christs marriage is such to his beloved:* 1.260) thinke thy selfe to be the man, and aske thy selfe, if not what thou wouldest give, yet what thou wouldest for∣goe for a good companion? I thinke the dayes were never

so rare for marriages in this kinde,* 1.261 as now: and yet the sor∣rowfull fruit of the contrary, should bring this choyce into date againe. Its a custome (we know) for men ambitious to buy honour, rather then want it, yea, glad they are, if they can so come by it. Do you so. Marriage is honourable: buy it whatsoever it cost you, and be glad you can get it so. Let bad customes be no prescriptions, and set a good one against a bad.

Fourthly,* 1.262 let the Lord be much solicited by prayer both ordinary and extraordinary for this blessing: beg hard for it, rather then want. I said before, pay for it, and now I adde, pray for it, pay and pray too, and thinke it worth it. Let the Lord see that your soule is deepely in love with it, and will not be denied, seeke to honour him for ever for it, and count it not every mans case; and you shall see, what an∣swer he will make you. If prayer will not get it, try if im∣portunity will prevaile:* 1.263 come for a wife as she Mat. 15. came for her daughter, and refuse any nay, this is the way to get it: God will grant it thee, rather then be wearied (and yet he loves it) with importunity. Either God will heare you, or else give you a reason which shall satisfie you: which I adde, because I beleeve that exceeding good marri∣age were not good for some that seeke it; it would puffe them up and hurt them; they rather need exercising marri∣ages. But this know, God will not part with his jewels so easily, as not to be sought to for them: this blessing is like to that,* 1.264 Ezek. 36. which the Lord so promised to give his peo∣ple, as yet he would besought too by them for it. Commit thy way to Iehova,* 1.265 and he shall effect it. If thy wife be to thee as Samuel was a sonne to Hannah,* 1.266 a wife of prayer, thou maist the more rejoyce in her,* 1.267 and say with Iacob, Loe the wife which the Lord in mercy hath given his servant.* 1.268 To the pure all are pure: each gift is sanctified by prayer: else, if thou doe onely light well by accident,* 1.269 as Nabal upon Abigail, she shall be but a dry morsell to thee, without favour or favour: thou shalt finde her as he did, a snare to thee, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 helplesse hel∣per (God depriving thee of the staffe of ••read, the true good of a good wife) not onely a dry pit, but even an encrease of

thy judgement. It is said Abraham called Eliezer his ser∣vant, in this weighty businesse of chusing a wife for his son Isaac, bidding him to put his hand under his thigh: (a solemn adjuration) for assurance, that he would not chuse him an heathenish wife, but one of Terahs family (the best which then could be had, though not as it ought) beyond the river: how much more oughtest thou to put thy hand under the Lords, in this case of thine owne marriage, vowing, that if he will provide a Rebecca for thee, and make thy voyage pro∣sperous, thou wilt discerne as reall a providence as Eliezer saw in meeting of her at the well. Is there never a wife for thee (said the parents of Sampson) but thou must needs goe among the uncircumcised?* 1.270 Vow it, that if God will be∣trust thee with one that is religious, though another should be laid against her, yet thy load-stone would draw the former.

Fiftly,* 1.271 adde hereto the advice of the most judicious and impartiall friends,* 1.272 that thou canft come by: for though two eyes are too few, yet he that will advise in this case, must onely judge with one, that is, a single eye, and looke but one way. Such is the subtilty of sutours now a dayes, that though their merit be never so small, yet they will so goe to worke, that their credit shall be good; forestalling the truth by their interest, either in a good Minister, or man of note: if they be but morall, they will engage them by gifts: if re∣ligious, by seeming devotion, to thinke well of them. Its a sad thing to thinke, what bad matches have bin made by the mediation of the best men; being first deluded. Alas! how easie is it, to make charity and credulity to be on mens sides? the best have bin deceived about this businesse. But the third person (who neither soweth nor moweth by the bargaine) is fitter to judge of this game, then parties are. And be assu∣red that true intelligence is not easily come by, in these in∣terblending dayes: yet, as I have said, thou hast a promise, that God will hide no secret from thee,* 1.273 if thou be his friend; so that thou dost not pervert thine owne way, and stumble at the offence which thou layest before thy selfe:* 1.274 to thinke with erring Samuel, that the annointed of the Lord is before

him, when its no such thing, but thy carnall conceit: we easily beleeve that to be, which we would have to be. The judgement of the Church, either is infallible in this kinde, or else its safter erring with it, then hitting well without it. Great is the cosenage of dissembling parties, when they set themselves to sale, by religious semblance. Machiavels max∣ime is all in all, viz. soundnesse of religion is difficult to be had, and quits not the cost in the worlds esteeme: shewes are easie, and will serve the turne even as well. Hence it is, that few walke humbly and plainly, most are content with shewes. As that Scholler of Cambridge said, If I may get my degree, I have that I came for; let learning goe where it will: so these, I am now upon sale hill, if I be once sold, I have enough. And I should offend many honest hearts, if I should discover what I know touching the humours of some malecontents in this kinde, especially of the female sexe, basely pretending that their conscience is the ground, whereas its but a stalking-horse, serving to scrue themselves into some good opinion for marriage: whereas, their turnes not being served, but their ends crossed, they have bewray∣ed themselves in their colours, to be but counterfeits. A spirit for the nonce, is needfull in this discerning worke; therefore let inquistion be narrow and wise, among them that are neither neerest the blood, nor to the advantage, by such a match.

Sixtly,* 1.275 be very observative and carefull in your mutuall parlies together,* 1.276 to marke the spirits of each other, having first begged of God an understanding heart. The eare (saith Elihu) trieth words, as the furnance doth mettals; the foole beleeves every thing, but the wise ponder sayings. So doe you. And as I said of the helpe of other mens eyes and wits: Establish thy thoughts by counsell,* 1.277 for in the multitude of councellours there is peace:* 1.278 so I say to your selves, trust not so to others,* 1.279 as to put and dash out your owne eyes and braines;* 1.280 but consult with wisdomes oracle, and aske it of him who gives and upbraides not. There is a spirit in man, but the inspiration of the Almighty gives understanding: as Paul▪* 1.281 saith, the spirituall man judgeth of all things, and

is judged of none: so here; onely adde this, They who have bin very wise in and for others, yet in their owne case, and this of affection especially, have failed much; and the pro∣verbe is verified here, Once, all men have doted. Put diffe∣rence therefore betweene smooth words and neat passages of wit, or conceits that come onely from the braine, and be∣tweene sound grounds planted in the heart. Out of the abun∣dance of the heart the mouth will speake, to a wise hearer. Its hard for a barren heart to dissemble fruitfulnesse, or for a well-seasoned to seeme unsavory. Question each with other, not concerning persons, but things: not about preachers or Sermons, or duties of religion, or circumstances onely of a∣buses and corruptions of time: (for who is not up to the eares in this now adayes?) but concerning the reall worke of the Word by name, how the Law hath quelled a proud heart, and stopt the course thereof in evill: how it is brought so low and to such a tamenesse, as to crouch to God for the crums that fall from his table: to be low in her selfe, and lay aside all her ornaments,* 1.282 glad to be equall to them of low de∣gree, and the like. Looke not at the gifts of each other, but try whether a meane opinion of our selves encreaseth,* 1.283 as knowledge encreaseth: aske each other, what the nature of a promise is, wherein the nature and life of faith consists. Also,* 1.284 how faith purifies the heart, kils the strongest lusts and passions, quickens the heart by a principle to all holinesse, meeknesse, patience, mercy to the distressed, and sorrow for the sinnes of others. If these seeds be planted in the spirit, they will subdue it unto God; yea, they will set a new frame within,* 1.285 and make the countenance to shine. And whereas its objected, [Object.] few can so fully satisfie themselves in the de∣grees of each others grace. [Answ.] I answer: try the substance, and let degrees appeare in time, its well if grace in youth can creepe, though it cannot goe (though the forwarder it is the better) if in the want of great measure, yet the savour of these things breake forth out of the cloud; and where bash∣fulnesse and modesty is the veile to cover some graces, their 〈◊〉〈◊〉 parts be clothed with the more honour. I know 〈◊〉〈◊〉 better care-marks to chuse good couples by, then humi∣lity

and modesty.* 1.286 Despise not a little, if these two be, for (as the Prophet saith,* 1.287) There is a blessing in it. Observe also how providence swayeth your mindes, to or against each other; observe each others disposition, parts, naturall guises, and be∣haviour; that which one thinks comely, another distasts, and some disproportion and unsympathy herein, may cause reli∣gion to be meanly thought of. And to end, remember that this businesse borders much upon the outward man; beware therefore that neither outward defects doe weaken, nor their abilities doe forstall thy judgement either way, from the due weighing of the best things in the ballance, to or fro. Slight defects will soone be supplied by religion, where love is entire, but want of religion is not easily recompenced with externals: be wise not to stumble too much at the former; neither let heat of affection snare and cousen thee in the latter. So much for the meanes to be used for marrying in the Lord.

And to this issue pertaines all this discourse:* 1.288 therefore still I so conclude, as I began. And because no bad marriage be∣fals any, where the husbands sinne is not chiefe, either be∣cause himselfe is bad, or erreth in judging the wife: (the wo∣man having onely a refusing voyce,* 1.289 not a chusing, but the man having the prerogative of choice, as the leader of the businesse:) therefore let the man especially looke to him∣selfe. Its not for the modesty of the womans sexe, to play the suitour,* 1.290 to put forth her selfe towards the man, but to wait till God offer her an object of consideration: and I sel∣dome have noted matches very succesfull in this kinde. I re∣member the answer of a wise man to a Gentlewoman, which told him, she could love him before any man: he answered her, but of al others, I dare not venture upon you for my wife. He considered, that such pangs in that humorous sex cannot come from judgement, because they thwart an ordinance: and as a sudden torrent of passion or heat causeth them, so they suddenly fall as fast, and leave the channell dry: when the humour is over, then coole blood succeeds, and checks the party for rashnesse, workes a dislike of the choice, and a very indifferent spirit to the husband; thinking him to be

too meane for them; and so little joying in him, waxing darke, and farre from that sweet temper of amity and subje∣ction which a wife should bewray. Therefore ye husbands be not gulled with easie matches; they are not so easie to for∣goe as to get: the furthest way about, is the neerest way home. There is a pleasingnesse in shew, to be fancied by a woman, to be offred that estate which I could never have expected:* 1.291 but when all is said that can be, it is too easie to prove happy: what it may prove I cannot say, but since its not of God, and is against the modesty of that sex, I can see no great hope of it. This by the way. I end my counsell with a two-fold question.* 1.292 One is this: if (say some) we stay till these choice marriages be offred us, we may wrong our hopes, passing the time of our virginity and youth vainly a∣way. To whom I say (I speake to none in this kinde save to the religious; let the rest move in their owne spheare:) commit thy way to Iehovah,* 1.293 and he will effect it: where there is truth of grace, it cannot lye hid; some way or other the Lord shall provide, and the labour of thy love shall not be concealed: feare not the worlds feares, cry not a confede∣racy, where they cry it;* 1.294 but wait, and there will alway be some men, who will be as jealous as women, to plunge themselves into a crosse marriage, as glad of thee as thou of him: its a reciprocall case, and hee who beleeves, makes no more haste then good speed. Thy worth shall breake out as the light,* 1.295 and thy patience and modesty as the noone day.

Another is,* 1.296 whether should we goe to finde out such? for we see the families of such as had name of religion, are now degenerate, and empty of such choice. None doe more degenerate to pride, vanity and prophanenesse, then the chil∣dren of many Ministers and professours, which have bin re∣ligious; yea, many townes anciently of note for such, yet are now become as barren as any other. To whom I answer: when the people came and told Samuel, that his children walked not in his wayes,* 1.297 it was not so much from any of∣fence at their sinne, as for their owne ends, to make them a King: many upbraid good families, because they are wil∣ling

to balke them, and to looke otherwhere. Sure I am, that families are not so wanting of good matches, as the good matches who are in them are disregarded. But fur∣ther, be it true, Gods rules are sleighted in all places now a dayes, and religion was never thicker sowne, nor come up thinner then now: what wonder, if sinne carry this duty downe the streame of contempt, as well as others? yet I say, is religion gone quite out of all families? Though it be en∣tailed to no one, yet cannot free grace plant it selfe where it listeth? if it leave one, can it not chuse another? religion (for ought I see) may lye long enough, except excesse of por∣tion smell her out. Oh! follow not the streame, conforme not to the fashion of this world: God is tyed to no places, families, congregations, he is no accepter of persons; but in all places where his name is feared and called upon, there will he blesse. Such shall not need to distrust God: hee makes none a soone of Abraham,* 1.298 but he makes a daughter of Abraham also meet for him; use meanes to finde them out, and having so done, preferre pearles before pibbles, and the Lord shall bring the good to the good,* 1.299 for he is a God of order, not of confusion.

[Quest. 3] But will some say, perhaps we have found out a jewell, but its in a dunghill: a good husband or wife, but the pa∣rents bad, the kindred bad, and no encouragement to pro∣ceed. I answer: as a bad wife is never the better, because graced with a good: so neither ought a choice either wife or husband be too much sullied by a bad family: its their ill lot to be so,* 1.300 but that grace that made Lot eminently good, Noah excellently righteous in their sinfull times,* 1.301 doth even more abundantly requite that blemish, with the select reli∣gion of some one among them. I blame no man, if with a good wife he would be glad to marry to a good family and stocke: but in another respect, I would account that grace which is unstained with so much ill, being in the midst of it, more approved and tried with the touchstone, then that which growes up together with the grace of a family, for company. Its some grace to a Lilly to grow among thorns; and a Rose looks the more beautifull among thistles: contra∣ries

set one against another, are the more orient. I should not refuse a truly vertuous companion for the cause. And this be said of the second maine rule, for such as are upon en∣trance of marriage. I goe to the third.

The third dutie concernes the two parties,* 1.302 after their Contract, viz. to spend that space betweene it and marriage (as a more due and solemn season) for a preparation of them∣selves to the estate and conversation of marriage to come. But because I foresee that the Reader will expect that some∣what be said in this Treatise, touching a Contract: I will therefore suspend this third advice till I come to that argu∣ment in the fift chapter, at the end thereof. Thus much for this Chapter.

CHAP. III.

The second requisite unto a good entrance, viz. aptnesse or sutablenesse.

NOW then I come to the second generall thing,* 1.303 perti∣nent to good entrance, and that is, to marry aptly in the Lord; that is, to joyne all circumstances of equality and su∣tablenesse to religion. And in this (as I conceive) as well as the former, consists the entry upon an happy and honoura∣ble marriage. It is not for nothing, that the Lord brought A∣dam a meet helper for him; that is, not onely one created in the same image of holinesse as he; but made of himselfe, flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone: woman of man, equall to him in dignity; not of his head, nor his feet or lower parts, but of his fides and ribs, in token of one that was to fide with him, and agree with him in the married estate: The Apo∣stle useth a phrase about husband and wife,* 1.304 the which is translated thus [For that which is comely;] the originall word is an equall siding, or sitting close to the side, with comeli∣nesse: so should it be with the married: there should be such an aptnesse in the choice (so farre as may be) that the one

might seeme to be a true* 1.305 fellow in the yoke, well met (as we say) and sutable each to other. Hence marriage is called a Match, to signifie, that couples should be peeres, and like each other, true matches. Otherwise, a manifest dispropor∣tion causes not onely a fulsomenesse, in the judgement of o∣thers, but to the affections of each other. And this the Lord would have us take notice of, as foreseeing the inevitable in∣conveniences, which must needs follow upon mismatched couples. Cattle of uneven cize and stature, strength and pro∣portion draw very ill in one yoke, and untowardly. This I adde, lest any should mistake my former speech, viz. That religion is the true levell of all other inequalities. I meant this, that if it be the lot of any to enter marriage unequally, then there being religion to moderate, it will make a better levell then any other thing can, when religion is absent. I did not justifie unequality but accommodate it, when it is. Here I adde moreover, that when other conditions and re∣spects are unequall in any great degree, religion can doe no more then she can doe. Marriage consists of a carnall peece one way, as well as a religious another way; and we may say of it as of the belly, she hath no eares. When I say, the un∣equality of couples is apparant, it is as the clashing of a glassie body against a groser metall. When a poore party meets with a rich, a well-bred one with a rude and illiberall, a curteous with a froward, a bountifull with a miserly, a no∣ble with a base; one from the Court with another from the cart or the shop; a proper and personable, with a deformed, crooked or dwarfe, what a disproportion doth it cause, and a kinde of loathsomnesse? We say of the same body that its an uncomely sight to behold a sweet face, and a crooked backe: if it be such a jarre in the same, how much more in two persons, which can better view each other behinde and before, then the same eye can see her owne crooked∣nesse? but especially when two religious ones meet, the one whose disposition lyes on the left and, to froward∣nesse, melancholy, sullennesse, teachinesse in an eminent degree; the other's to meeknesse, curtesie and amiable∣nesse; what a continuall vexation is it? what a discord

of sounds doth this cause? An instrument out of tune, un∣apt to play upon, distempereth each lesson, and displeaseth every eare.

[Quest.] But here ariseth a question, How we shall judge of un∣aptnesse? None are so unapt,* 1.306 but they can alledge one thing or other for themselves. Old women marrying yong men, justifie themselves by this, that they will maintaine their hus∣bands, and that shall make up the flaw, and levels that val∣ley. Deformed ones marrying faire or personable, alledge, they are penny white: and kitching-maids marrying Gen∣tlemen, may say, They are good nurses, and deny themselves as much another way. [Answ.] To all which I answer and affirme, that none provide for the honour of marriage, save those who provide against the staine and dishonour of unapt marriage. And yet I must adde, that when I urge aptnesse, I urge it not in so arithmeticall and strict a proportion, and in every point of aptnesse, as if else it might be no marriage. There is a dissimilitude in the same kinde, which is no disproportion in a divers kinde: and there is a discord of tones in the most exact musicke, making it most pleasing, because still its with∣in the kinde. I judge not one unequall to another in birth, because the fashion of the one is a little lower; but by dis∣proportion of degree, when gentle marry base; noble, hono∣rable, worshipfull marry ignoble, and under themselves in the whole kinde. Else, as the roundnesse of the eath recom∣penceth this or that particular unevennesse; so may marri∣age levell petty unequalities. And to this, that inequality doth no alway follow some contrarieties of temper, ex∣cept they be such as inferre a naturall distaste of each other: as for example,* 1.307 nothing hinders why there may not be sweet accord betweene a very provident wife matcht with an im∣provident husband, when the husband counts that gift a sup∣ply of his defect; because its onely a defect in accident or quality, not reall. Difference also in estates, may cause a kinde of necessity of disproportion. It fals out that some impaire or cracke of braine lessens the repute of a Gentle∣man well descended; this disableth his hopes of any great marriage. Shall one defect inferre a worse, a deprivall of

marriage wholly? no verily, a woman much inferiour to him in birth and meanes, or yeeres, should yet be thought a very good, yea apt match for such an one, and that with reputati∣on and honour to her humility, if she be faithfull. A gaine, a man hath by a former venture, a great charge of children, which are like to lye upon the hand of a second wife, both for education and attendance; in such a case, a woman of an hundred or two hundred pounds worth, who is willing to requite that defect with love and painfulnesse (being other∣wise competent for her honest parentage and fashion of life,) may be as equall a match, as perhaps one of a thousand pound estate, without that encumbrance. Againe, in the judgement of men, defect of honour may sometimes be re∣compenced with wealth and estate: as if a man nobly de∣scended, yet growne to meane estate, hath need of such a supply, though perhaps he faile of some degree of the other: I say, if both concur, its best; but if the defect doe lye in ho∣nor, it may be equalled with estate; and it were a shame for honour to quarrell with such a wife for unequalnesse; for then may she say, she hath bought her honour at a sad rate, and up∣on deare tearmes.

Besides,* 1.308 it fals out, that two marry, the one a man whom present honour and favour with his Prince hath advanced beyond the ranke of his family; or perhaps, honour hath gone along with swifter pace toward him, then with some other house, who yet may be as honourable in times past, and more ancient, then they are presently, though not with such titles: if now the one match with the other, shall present honour contest with such an one as inferiour? No sure, if the root be as good, the match is not unequall. Lastly, in case of persecution for religion, or of going voyages of ha∣zard, by sea to forreigne plantations: in which cases, strict equality is not to be mentioned: now in such cases, the wo∣man being to flye or transplant, needs the aid of a wise head, or the man the helpe of a discreet woman: they cannot match themselves in their due rankes, as otherwise they might; therefore looking at the maine point, that is, at reli∣gion, and integrity of report, they match as neere their con∣dition

as may be: although it prove very much inferiour, yet it is not to be counted a dishonourable marriage. Master Fox in the story of Queene Maries persecution, reports of a worthy religious Dutchesse of Norfolke, which married to a godly Gentleman, one Master Berty, (farre under a Dukes state) with whom she fled the Land, and in that most weari∣some flight (as it proved) found him a most faithfull and loyall husband to the death. So then, if there be a generall proportion of aptnesse, so that the disparity lye onely in a degree, not in kinde, it must not be censured: all cannot lye under the Aequator, under the same line and latitude; some may admit many degrees off. The truth is, in this confusion of all things, its not to be expected that marriage should keepe quarter with exactnesse more then other occurrents of life: in some cases, we must abate and yeeld of rigour, left we split all: Men are growne to enhase their degree to an higher pitch then formerly; and it will be hard to convince high stomacks, of meanes or unequalnesse; their ambition hath too high a pitch. Those persons are fitter to observe this rule, who are meane in their owne eyes, and equall them∣selves to those of lower degree. To leave them therefore with their great hearts and hopes, let me yet yoke them with Pauls counsell,* 1.309 Whatsoever is pure, honest, just, of good re∣port, that ensue; adhorre that which is base, uncomely, and absurd. But if it appeare to the judicious, that your car∣nall, covetous reaches and aspiring spirits have exerci∣sed themselves in things too high,* 1.310 for ambition, state or worldly ends; let the issue be what it may (as common∣ly it is repenting) I pronounce such matches to fall under this second rules censure; they are unapt, therefore di∣shonourable.

[Vse 1] I come to the Vses of the point. If the honour of marri∣ages stand party in aptnesse of it,* 1.311 then hence it appeares, that its no curiosity for any to regard aptnesse: Men count this direction to be frivolous; imagining that marriage hath a gift of it selfe, either to finde equals, or to make such (as the old proverbe speakes of friends:) and to wash off at once all eye-sores; nay, it will be hard for such to fray away

sorrow, and so shall you say when you have tried. One would have thought Pharaoh might easily have kept out frogs from his Privy-chamber,* 1.312 but it would not be. I dare promise none of the equallest mariages, that they shall bee free; but as for humours, rashnesse, base and by-respects, they never did so finde it. Those that catch up wives all at once suddenly,* 1.313 must repent them at leasure. Be instructed then, to thinke no care sufficient in this kinde; stay not till mistresse Experience convince you of your folly, in condem∣ning others, but falling into the pit your selves. So much for this first.

[Vse 2] Secondly, be admonished not to overweene your owne strength,* 1.314 as thingking it sufficient to binde Bears (as the Pro∣verb is) and to defray any unaptnesse whatsoever without trouble. Oh, saith one, let but my turne be satisfied, and feare not me; if I have once pitcht my affection, I am not so soon unsetled againe: Alas, you judge your selves by your pre∣sent pangs, which over-beare inferiour dislikes; but who are weaker to digest inequality, than such as thinke them∣selves wisest and strongest? Many have said as you say, If I may have state sufficient, no bodily blemish shall trouble me. Another, If I can get a religious wife, one hundred pounds will content me as well as three. If I may marry one whom I love, I care not for portion, &c. but alas poor green heads, before a few yeares be over your heads, when you have scummed off, and licked up the upper sweet of your mariages, then your thoughts will goe to work, I have deserved portion, and religion and beauty too; and what not? Then will your unstaid eye fasten upon others, whom you see to exceed you in portion, birth, sweetnesse of na∣ture, feature, and the like; then your carnall part will lowre, and vex at your lot, and then, Oh, I might have been wiser; and so you must either bite in all as ashamed of your choice, or else utter your discontent, to make your lives uncomfortable. When you behold your parents to wax estranged, your kindred aloofe, your meanes decaying, charge encreasing, and the devill throwing in baits of such and such men and women, so personable, rich, brought up,

then will it appeare upon wise tearms, you have rejected the counsell of apt mariage: and yet many fooles (who are appointed to it) cannot beware the second time, but rush themselves into as unmeet matches as before, if not worse. Therefore acknowledge your weaknesse, hearken no more to such Spokes-men, as are apt to prompt you with wives of their owne fancying: (which is the ruine of ma∣ny ridiculous men, to take wives upon other mens trust) ascribe not too much to your own wisdome; rather thinke your selves of all others, likest to be deceived by your eye or affections. Say thus, A man I am, and but a man, and nothing of a man is strange to me. I am as like to snare my selfe, and as unable to endure a snare, as another, there∣fore I will prevent it betimes. I embrace Gods allowance, as well to please my selfe with aptnesse, as with religion: God is the God of order, as well as goodnesse. Nothing hinders why other accomplishments may not be sought with grace, (so that be chiefe) and it had need please well, which must please ever, or be an eye-sore for ever. Surely, if God give me my liberty, I dare not snare my selfe. And I see, that as there are many wives, who for want of religion are a snare; so there are also many religious, who for want of other accommodations, make every veine in their hus∣bands hearts to ake ere they die. Thou art not made of brasse, but of flesh, as others are, and hast affections equal∣ly disposed to the like distempers: its thy wisdome to know thy selfe.

And surely,* 1.315 he who would but weigh the odious fruits of unequall mariages, might easily be drawn from them. What an imputation is it for a Minister, young in yeares, to match himselfe with some old woman for what she hath? How meanly is his discretion estemed; and how basely doth his covetousnesse heare alway after? How should such a man perswade others to trust God, when all men see the bastard of his owne unbeleese carried at his back? What vile affe∣ctions are bred in secret in many such, desire of the death of their companions being growne decrepit; irksomnesse of spirit, in tedious bearing the sicklinesse, unhelpfulnesse,

and unsociablenesse of each others bodies? How many have we knowne, who being discontent with their lot, seek to other younger ones, and defile them: some within their owne dwellings, polluting themselves with their ser∣vants? How many murthers have unequall matches caused, of infants so begotten and borne? Nay, how many have beene the cursed attempts of poysoning each other, to be rid of the loathed party, husband or wife? What one As∣size passes without such presidents? I doe not know any one thing in the coversation of man, which causes more disasters than unequall matches doe, directly or indirectly. Some being ashamed of their foolish choice, care not what they attempt to be eased of them. Others crossed of that lust, which (like the belly) hath no eares, and will not be curbed, will venter any joynt to satisfie it: and to say truth, no tongue of man can sufficiently expresse the misery of spirit (which many, otherwise not of the worst) doe en∣dure, through conflicting with their owne ill lots, and cor∣rupt spirits in this kinde: and the wearisomnesse of inequa∣lity in one kinde, forceth them to as bad in another. Mens first wives being forty yeares elder than themselves, when they have buried them, partly through eager desire of po∣sterity, partly longing after the other extreame, marry a wife forty yeares younger, and so are lasht with their owne whip; and as much loathed by the later, as they loathed the former. Fooles, to shun one extreame, incur another.

[Vse. 3] Thirdly, Let this bereproofe to the unruly humours of many persons,* 1.316 either in first or second matches, which al∣way aime at that which is most contrary to their conditi∣ons. I have noted, that if there be any apparant defect in a man or a woman,* 1.317 they are so farre from humblenesse un∣der it, or giving themselves content in such as are defe∣ctive in the like,* 1.318 or other kinds (which yet is equall) that rather they itch after and covet such yoke-fellowes, as do exceed as much on the contrary, and are of the best per∣fections. How ordinary is it for men to affect better than they deserve, to cover their owne defects, and to satisfie their lusts? and how wear some doth it prove? For as

Salomon saith,* 1.319 The earth cannot beare the burden of un∣equall mariages, as of one that is heir to her Mistresse, that is, upstarts become impotent and insolent, scorning to take it as they have done. On the other side, he who takes an in∣feriour party, thinks, that she should pay for her preferment, and become so much the more subject and dutifull. Now when both parties finde it otherwise, to wit, that the one waxes proud, and the other thinks himselfe neglected, what a confusion groweth hereby? Nay, such poyson I have no∣ted to break out of some baser parties in mariage, that be∣cause they are privie to themselves of unequality, therefore they are jealous of their husbands respect and love, thinke themselves despised, as not worthy to hold quarter with them, and when there is of all other least cause, yet then come they in with their irksome suspitions, and they imagine their husbands to shew more affection to strangers than themselves. Now equality would remove such mispri∣sions. But to returne, why should a countrey plaine man, affect the neatnesse of a nice Citizen? Or a crooked, affect a person eminent for comelinesse? Were not a country wo∣man bred for a Farme, more equall? Were it not better like went to like, that so neither might despise other? Why should a low bred one affect a brave gallant? or a poore one a wealthy? Why should a meek and gentle one, defile him∣selfe with a shrewish spirit? Is it not the next way to sor∣row? Doth not unaptnesse cause a division at last? There∣fore this is a fruit of old Adam, to covet most ardently, that which is forbidden unto us, and against us. What folly and sinne is out of measure sinfull, if this be not? and who pit∣ties such as plunge themselves into misery, and need not? It is a kinde of delight (in the obliquities of men, who no other can punish) to see fooles to punish themselves, and lash themselves with their owne rod, it satisfies indignati∣on, (where charity abounds not) but deserves no compassi∣on, Doe not such sigh in secret, (for their complaints are but rare to others, because the errour comes backe upon themselves) and wish they had maried as deformed, as poor and meanly bred as themselves. Doe they not envie the ease

and welfare that equall couples enjoy, such as make much of each other, by the sympathy of each others defective∣nesse or parity.

Another branch of reproofe concernes them that despise the rule of equall matches.* 1.320 Now what comes of these un∣equals,* 1.321 that widowes of estates must marry their horse∣keepers,* 1.322 and Gentlemen their cook-maids, but this, that to cover over their basenesse, they must lay out their meanes to buy armes, and titles of honour: or if not, yet enhanse their Farmes, racke their rents, rake and scrape all they can get (whereas their predecessors lived nobly upon their meanes, and kept good houses) and all to purchase estate, and purchase equality. What is this, save to become the scornes of the Countrey? Is it not due penance for viola∣ting the sacred condition of equality? I might here inveigh against the usuall matches now adayes made between boyes and girles, scarse yet out of their shels: but better occasion will offer it selfe afterward.

[Vse 3] But to draw towards an end, let me exhort first such as are to enter into this estate;* 1.323 to whom I sing the former song, Marry in the Lord,* 1.324 still, but marry aptly, and lay the ground of honour in this entring with aptnesse. Be not led away with that errour, which you set up as an idoll, in your con∣ceits: blesse not your selves with your supposed happinesse, as if you were by so much the more honourable, then others of your ranke, by how much you have gotten a richer match they they; or because your marriage hath pearkt you aloft, above your own condition, or theirs of whom you descend. No wise Parents joy in their childerns unequall marriages: let the modell of such as are the most modest in your ranke and order, be presidents for you. I am not so weake as to thinke, that education, breed, learning and gifts, (although there be no great meanes) deserve not good marriages, re∣ligion concurring: but set not up your top-sailes, and do not beare up your selves above your worth, in this respect; but wait upon God, and be modest, lest he pull you downe as fast:* 1.325 dwell at home, affect not high things; if God have in∣deed a blessing for you in this kinde (for else a great match

may prove too hot and too heavy to manage) let God lay it in your lap, ere you affect it, and let your goodnesse finde you out, while you lye hid. And when its offered you, yet swell not, say with David, marrying Michal, Seemeth it small? had I not need to looke well about me? and with David, marrying Michal, Seemeth it small? had I not need to looke well about me? and with Abigail sent for to David, Let me wash the feet of the servants of my Lord!* 1.326 go from the dignity to the burden, take thought how to live with such an one, of greater breed and estate then your selves: consider what affronts may meet with you (the best will save it selfe:* 1.327) are you fit to drinke of this bitter cup, if discontents should come into the place of peace and love, whiles the one is loth to stoop to the others lownesse, and the other feares offence if he should suffer it? Better it were to desist early,* 1.328 then to bring a perpetuall vex∣ation upon your selves too late: begge of God humble and wise demeanure, even all unequalnesse by religious cariage, and selfe deniall, lest your preferment prove a penalty, rather then a priviledge; otherwise, as he said of his Diadem, he would not have it for the taking up (as being fuller of care then comfort) who knew the sorrow of it.

Secondly,* 1.329 to them who already live under this yoke of inequality,* 1.330 I advise the same which I did to them who are under an inequality of religion; looke backe to that Secti∣on, and read it. Onely this let me adde here; since your unsutablenesse came from your owne wilfulnesse; doe that now which you ought before to have done (somewhat out of season perhaps,* 1.331 but better late then never;) humble your selves under Gods afflicting hand; remember it is unjust you should fret against Providence, and your lot in that, which out of your owne choice and free-will, you have brought upon your selves. Keepe to your selves that straitnesse and pinching, which is onely or chiefly knowne to your selves. To live like male-contents, upbraiding each other, and quarreling with God, is not onely most sinfull, but a dis∣ease worse then the remedy it selfe: seeing the time was, wherein you seemed each to other, the most precious of all; its reason that now you make the best of a bad bargaine, and of each other. If then beauty, wealth, or the like objects, so

bleared your eyes, that you forgat the rule of equality; re∣remember you have finned not only against your own soules, but even against them whom you have unequally married, who in another equall way, might perhaps have lived much better and contentedlier, then now they doe; with com∣panions of their owne fashion: so that you should doubly wrong them by your discontents. Rather looke up to God by faith and repentance for your error, that it may be cove∣red, and that Gods anger being removed, you may finde your yoke as tolerable as an unequall one may be. And as once a grave man said to one in this case, if God ever offer you a new choice, beware least you stumble at the stone, which once foiled you. And so much of this second generall also, and of the whole direction serving for the entrance in∣to an honorable marriage; now we proceed to that which remaineth in the next Chapter.

CHAP. IV.

A Digression touching consent of Parents, and sundry Questions and Objections answered.

I should now proceed to the second generall head,* 1.332 wher∣of I made an honorable marriage to consist: viz. Conti∣nuance therein in an holy manner.* 1.333 But I am occasioned to stop my course a while, for the space of this, and the next chapter: because an hint of new matter being offered in the former discourse, touching consent of Parents, and the contracting of the Couples: it will be looked for, that somewhat be here said, about both, e're I wade any fur∣ther in this Argument. Of the former thereof in this fourth, and of the latter (if God please) in the fifth,* 1.334 and then we returne. Touching this former, consent of Parents, if I should goe about to make any set proofes of so generally a confessed truth, which all ages, nations, histories, lawes both divine and humane, common, civill, yea cannon too (though with exception) with one voyce have averred: I

might seeme not onely to adde light to the Sunne, but to weaken that which I would strengthen: yet for order and formes sake, a word or two may be premised for the necessi∣ty thereof, I say necessity in a way of God, though not ab∣solute: for this businesse of marriage without parents con∣sent is one of them, which ought not to have bin done, yet being done, must availe, for the avoyding of worse conse∣quences: that is, consent is not so essentiall to marriage as some other things are, that the non-concurrence thereof should disanull it againe. But in a morall and meet way, its necessary that marriage be attempted with consent of pa∣rents. And surely, if those heathen Lawes seemed just which yeelded unto parents power of life and death, over their children (supposing perhaps that love might well enough be trusted) and thought it meet enough, that they who were the instruments of giving children their naturall life, might be permitted to be Iudges of the same children, in taking it away; or perhaps rather chusing, that a parent might kill a vicious childe for some offences, then the childe kill the heart of a parent, by his dissolutenesse: then surely much more may it be yeelded to parents to have power to give life or to marre their marriages. I doe not by the way justi∣fie the former law, but rather thinke it was a dangerous snare, and betrayed the lives of many innocents, into the hands of the unmercifull; and no doubt, if it were in force among us, it would provoke many prophane and malicious persons, to shed the blood of better children then themselves. But I plead the farre greater equity of this law, that parents may claime a right in the choice of their childrens marriages. Must parents have the worst of it, and be debarred from the best? beare the burthen of the whole day; the providing for their children, all meanes of support, education, either ingenuous or machinall, helpe them to Arts, Stocks, trades, which is but to be their drudges, if there were no more but so; and shall they leave them just at the point of marriage, and betake them to their owne wisdome and counsell? No surely, it's good cause they share in the honour, as well as the labour.

It it true,* 1.335 God makes matches, and parents cannot (as they desire) in such a world as this is (wherein all are for their owne ends) provide for their children such contentfull matches as they desire, but thats not their fault. God must helpe, or else they cannot, with the barne and winepresse. But yet in such matches as are offered, parents must beare sway & stroke with their children: though it is not in their power to afford them such as they wish, yet this must not cause them to give up their Authority to their children to marry as they lift, against rules, mentioned. And that which I say of parents themselves,* 1.336 I say of Father or Mother in laws, Gar∣dians and Tutors, who by them, or by the law, are left to o∣versee and order the waies of Children, not yet able to guide themselves; yea although they be of such years and discretion, as perhaps a parent, at least a step-father, might permit them to themselves. Yet it were the duty of such a childe, to take lesse rather then more upon himselfe, and to advise seriously with them (ere he finish ought) whether he have been well guided or no about marrying religiously, or aptly: Some parents, I grant, have exceedingly wasted their Title, and in∣fringed their Prerogative: for, such is their ignorance, and injudiciousnesse in such affaires, (having in truth never un∣derstood, in any degree, what their owne marriage meant, much lesse are fit to guide others:) also many are so vitious, and so debauched with sinne, that they have lost all abi∣lity to advise, eyther in this, or in any other weighty bu∣sinesse; but yet neither are these to be despised, but to be honorably handled, and especially, if they shall desire to see and judge with other mens eyes and braines; their children are to yeeld therto as well as to themselves. What speciall re∣ports do the Scripturs make,* 1.337 of that care which holy and wise parents had of their childrens marriages? How did Abra∣ham adjure his servant,* 1.338 to goe to the house of his fathers, to chuse a wife for Isaac?* 1.339 How doth the holy Ghost brand Esau for matching without Isaac and his mother Rebecca their consent,* 1.340 to the heartbreake of them? How doth Isaac and Rebecca charge Iacob to meddle with none of the Heathens? And, if any prerogative might have exempted any, then

might Sampson a Iudge in Israel,* 1.341 have beene exempt: who yet was not: for although it came from God that he should marry that uncircumcized Philistin; yet he would have his parents give their consent, Give me her: and when they saw the way of God, they ceased. But til then, they argued as parents should do, what? is there no wife to be chosen for thee out of any of the families of Israel, but thou must seek among the Philistins?* 1.342 Not so much as Hagar that bond wo∣man, but it's said, that she tooke a wife for Ishmael, out of the land of Egypt:* 1.343 as if the holy Ghost should take it as granted, that none of the Church should question it. If a sonne might not alienate his fathers goods, without his con∣sent, there least of all himselfe.

I say,* 1.344 the Scripture testifies from the beginning, that this authority did reside in the parent, from God. God him∣selfe the father of Adam, Luc. 3 vlt. brought Eve to him: he did not seek her himselfe. A great and leading ground to the point. And this prerogative God derived to parents (not∣withstanding the fall and forfeit of Adam) for ever. See Deut. 7. 3. Thou shalt not take to thy sonnes, any wife of their daughters. I••rem. 29. 6. Give your children wives. And Paul, He who gives his virgin to marriage doth well. &c. Neither is it sufficient which Bellarmine, (the chiefest Papist of all who opposeth this truth in his 19. cap. of Ma∣trimony, and that out of the Councell of Trent, Session 14. for most of other Papists do oppose him in it) replies, that this text onely implyes, Marriages ought not to be made without the privity of parents: for Gods charge doth not only shew what ought to be done, but, that else the Marriage is frustrate, as appeares Exod. 22. 16. Where it is left to the parent to deny Mariage in a case of uncleannes, which else urged Marriage. Much more then in coole blood. See also Numb. 30. 4. If a parent might frustrate a vow to God, much more a private civill act of his child to marry. Neither is this meant (as Bellarmine dreams) of a Mayd under yeeres, but simply of one under covert: though of 20. yeeres old: and so the Ebrew word [Nagnar] is taken Iob. 1. 19. and so another Iesuite upon this text confesseth, a parent might

frustrate any vow whatsoever.* 1.345 See Gal. 4. A sonne differs not from a servant, being under his father: he can dispose of nothing in the house, of his fathers goods, without con∣sent: how much lesse himselfe, who is the foundation of the family, as in the Ebrew word [Ban] notes? Another Papist, Espencaeus in his booke of clandestine marriages pro∣fesseth the like against Bellarmine in the last Chapter save one. Heathens have constantly beene of this minde. Gen. 34. Sichem craves of Hamor to get him Dinah. Catullus, Plautus, Terence, Latine Poets, Sophocles a Greek one, all both Comick and Tragique, who speak the customes of their times, do in∣timate the same. One of them brings in the father distasting his sonne for a clandestine marriage,* 1.346 thus, Callst thou me thy father? Needst thou me for a father? Hast thou not found thee out, a family, a wife and children against my mind? The sonne answers. I yeeld up my selfe (father) to thee, impose any task, command me what thou wilt; Wilt thou have me divorce the wife I have? Wilt thou have me marry or not? I will beare it as I may. Justinian shewes the meaning of the civill law, lib. 1. Instit. Tit. de Nuptiis. Then are marriages good, when made by consent of such, as whose power they are under: it is Beza his speech, in his Tract of Poligamy and Divorces: Civil laws about necessi∣ty of parents consent, are more knowne, more cleere, more holy, then that any man can be ignorant of them, can dar∣ken, or can abolish them. Paulus the Civilian in his Title, touching the right of marriages, saith, Marriages cannot consist, except all in whose power the parties are, consent. Hottoman a famous Civilian speaks the same, in his book of chast marriages, part. 4. The Councel of Eliberis, mentions the judiciall law of Moses, confirming it: If a Damosel have bound her selfe by oath or promise in her fathers house, and he gainsay it, it's frustrate. A Canon of Basil ad∣deth, marriages otherwise made, are counted but whore∣domes. I conclude with Erasmus, no Scripture, no Testimo∣ny of valew can be alledged against this Truth. If it be as∣ked, whether upon the fathers consenting, the mother dis∣sent from the mariage: or contrary wise▪ what is to be said?

I answer, The mothers consent makes for the better being, but the fathers for the being it selfe thereof: for hee is the head of the wife and of the family.

[Vse 1] This may be a sufficient confutation of Bellarmine, and the Councell of Trent (his Idoll,* 1.347 which its like hee so ado∣red, that against Scripture and all Lawes he defends it) who doth so stervingly maintaine the lawfulnesse of Marriages against parents consent, that there need be no more to con∣fute him, then the barrennesse of his own defence, in which he alway returnes to his old song, that though Nature teach Parents right, yet, not the disanulling of Marriages upon non-consent. Touching which I answer, Many reasons may inforce the continuance of a thing done (especially in so waighty a case as this) which yet argues not the well do∣ing; that is all the question. He urges the examples of Iacob and Tobija: whereas the one (although sixty yeares old at his marriage) yet did nothing without his father and mothers consent. Tobija (if the Text were Canonicall) had an An∣gell with him to guide him extraordinarily. Indeed Esau's example he may plead for it (with an ill handsell) who its like went against Isaac and Robecca's charge. Much good doe him with it. He alledgeth a Decree of Clement, A sonne is not compelled to follow his parents choice. Who doubts it? But, doth this follow, A parent may not compell his chil∣dren to marry against their will: Therefore a childe may marry contrary to the Parents? No surely. That which hee addes out of Ambrose, she may chuse her husband, ought she not to preferre God in her choice? comes to no more then this, That a Virgin hath power to chuse (at least to refuse her husband) but yet with parents consent. The argument he brings from the validity of the marriage of slaves against their masters consent, and that, upon the ground of the insti∣tution and ends of marriage, is doubly answered: first, that it is true, Masters cannot barre their slaves of marriage, but yet they may limit the right of Nature, by appointing them wives, for avoyding wrong to their owne estates. Second∣ly, the case betweene masterlike power, is not like to paren∣tall: for the power of the former is onely civill, and there∣fore

may be restrayned by law; but the other is naturall, and therefore need no restraint: since its to be supposed that pa∣rents desire the posterity and marriages of their children, much more then masters need doe of servants. As touching that objection, that after copulation marriages are neces∣sary; this proves not, that the power of parents is dissolved, (for what absurdity is it for one to thinke, that his second sin should favour and justifie his former offence?) But that, for divers inevitable consequences upon the breach of a mar∣riage already made, it is better for a parent not to use his right, then to use it. Its the voice of the Law, Fieri non de∣buit, sed factum valuit. So much for this.

Yet as there is no rule so generall,* 1.348 but it admits excepti∣ons, so doth this. One is, the barre of Gods law, in case of uncleannesse committed by the parties before marriage:* 1.349 in which respect God forbad that they should by any meanes be parted: so that here parents consent was, though not wholly, yet partly prevented, not in right, but in point of honesty, by their lewd children, who forced a necessity of marriage upon themselves, being become as outcasts, not worthy of such care of parents to be cast upon them: be∣sides it was to prevent beggery of the bastards, and the de∣filing of the land by fornication, if they had beene permit∣ted to cashiere such as they had defiled, and to marry chaste persons: for, its better one house bee troubled, then two, (since one must be) let them eate of the fruit of their owne labours, and thanke themselves. The law is mentioned by Moses, If a man finding a maid, defile her, he shall surely marry her, because he hath humbled her. Another case is, the supine neglect of parents, when as they see offers made to their children: to wit, when as they permit parties unknowne, and pretending to be such as afterwards they prove not, but tainted with lewd qualities, and of no such estate as is made shew of: I say, when as, through foolish credulity they be∣leeve all shewes, or use not meanes to enquire throughly after their manners and deserts, but are cheated by their dis∣sembling and hypocrisie: but all this while they harbour them, or seeing that their children are forward in their affe∣ctions

toward such, so, that they are ensnared: and yet the parents suffer matters to passe on, and hold their peace: then the rule of the word ought to be observed, That consent is implyed by their silence: and why? because he, in whose po∣wer it is to stop evill, and yet doth not, seemes to command it. Not onely if there appeare no more cause of breaking it off, then at first, (for then it is onely the headstrong will of the parent, unjustly discontent) but, although there should breake out more hideous and odious crimes against the par∣ty. For it was the parents duty to have used all diligence to have searched out the truth of things at first,* 1.350 and to have made all other matters cleare, before such time as liberty be given to the parties themselves to ensnare themselves. For by this meanes it may so fall out, that extreame danger may ensue, both to the party deserted, and to them that de∣sert. Yet this I adde, that all meanes be wisely used, to un∣stitch and dissolve that league by degrees, which hath long beene in knitting, rather then to doe it rashly. Let parents present to both the parties their deepe dissimulation, per∣swading them, betweene themselves, rather to breake off, then incurre a tolerable vexation by marriage; and live at perpetuall feud with them, who seeke their best welfare. But, if nothing will prevaile, I say, as sad as the necessity is, yet the parent comes in too late with alledging his pre∣rogative. If (saith the holy Ghost) a virgin hath vowed a vow,* 1.351 (say it be a purpose to marry such a man) much more if such a likelihood be daily presented to his eye; and hee forbid it, then he doth no more then his authority may claim, for he is a parent, and may disanull it: but if he let it passe, and doe not gainsay it, he is supposed to resigne up his right in refusing, and so to establish it.

Another case is,* 1.352 in second marriages of children, men or women. For although there be a difference of judgement in sexes, yet, in this both are reputed to have equall liberty to match themselves, and to be discharged from the power of the parent. The first marriage made the parties one flesh, and divided them both from the parents house and authori∣ty. So that in such a case the rule holds not. Paul doth

not extend the power of a parent over a widow, as to a vir∣gin. In the latter, he alway yeelds to a father his liberty: if he give his virgin to marry, or refuse to give her, hee doth well both wayes: that is, foreseeing the danger of persecu∣tion, and withall knowing the strength of his virgin,* 1.353 that she is not necessitated to marry, he may refuse, or otherwise hee may yeeld; he offends in neither. But after one marriage is expired, the widow is not so tyed, because providence hath settled her upon her owne right. Howbeit, for the weaker sexe, the case so falling out that shee may stand in as much need of counsell at last as at first, yea of more: this I say. That it were the part of such widows to remember that they are children, and to ascribe a reverentiall and honourable esteeme of their parents counsell, out of wisedome and dis∣cretion, although a precise command of God doe not abso∣lutely urge it.

Lastly,* 1.354 parents must still looke at the maine point, that is, the condition and state of a childes both body and minde. For a parent understanding the case to be such, that a childe cannot without deepe discontent of spirit, and inconveni∣ence of body, propending strongly to marriage, and shunning those continuall and noysome vexations, which would at∣tend the contrary; I say, cannot abstaine: then, his autho∣rity not being allowed him, for the tyranny and hurt, but the good and welfare of his childe, he ought not unseasonably and rigidly to dispute his right, or to hold it; but tenderly and wisely to release it, at the childes humble instance. And this I might also presse in other cases as well as this. But because they will occurre better upon objections brought against this point: I will stop two gaps with one bush, that is, both lay downe the extent of this exception, and also an∣swer a question, both in one.

For why?* 1.355 here it is objected by sundry children (as I toucht before) that, as neare as they can, they observing the rules of God, in religious and apt choice, and being now to strike up the match, they say, The parents or guardians (at least of one side) wilfully withdraw their consent. To whom I must answer with much caution, for the safegarding of a

parents honour: First, ye children beware lest you put any unjust affront upon your parents, that may cause this rigour you complaine of, and open their mouthes against you. For if you doe, their cause must be heard when you must stand by. Put case that it fall out that your match be not faulty, after your tryall of each other: howbeit you upon the pre∣sumption thereof have beene your owne carvers, and carried all with your owne wits, leaving your parents to serve your turne after: and hereupon the parent being offended, looks not so much at the fitnesse of the match, as at his owne con∣tempt: who can in such a case justifie you? In this case, e∣specially if the parents be irreligious, and unable to value the price of a good husband or wife, I see not what course you should take, but to humble your selves for your offence, con∣sidering in your owne case, how unwilling you would have beene to be so served. Parents, I grant, should not on∣ly hearken to, but runne and ride to seeke out good matches for their children, if any occasion be offered, and yet many of them are so stout, peevish, selfe-willed and envious, that of all other matches, they will crosse them most which are the best. But yet, you children, crosse not them, by forcing unequall conditions upon parents, in consenting to your marriages. Although you be granted to be religious, yet it becomes not you to thinke so well of your selves, that being unequall in state and stocke, or in other respects, you will force the marriage of one that hath great meanes, under co∣lour of religion. For in this case a parent is not bound, but hath his excuse. If God should move a parent in this case, considering how few are religious or thrifty, to match their children under-foot for the world in respect of grace, it is well and good: embrace their good will thankfully. But to obtrude your own worth upon their affections,* 1.356 you ought not: whether the parents bee religious or not. The like I say, if the disproportion lye in any other kinde: This by way of digression; that children bee sure of it, that their matches be consonant and agreeable to the rule; for they may be godly, and yet not apt matches. But to answer the question, as it lyes, If I say your matches be truly equall, yet

your parents will not yeeld: Then, first, Let such children count it the crosse, that they are fallen upon such parents; let them not domineere over them, and outshoote the divell in his owne bow, of resolution and stomack; but humbly submit to the parents, as parents in generall, seeking by all meanes to winne their love and respect, first or last, by your obedience and well-pleasing: that they may see it and say, My child ••s as carefull to give me content, as to serve his owne turne. And (if need require) let such friends be used by way of mediation, as may best alay their opposite mindes, shewing them the ill consequents thereof: And lastly set on the Lord also to encounter their untractable hearts, hum∣bly supplicating that he would turne the hearts of fathers to the children,* 1.357 to melt them, and to give them the eies of Doves, insteed of Crocodiles. If all these prevaile not, then (the discipline of the Church being in force) course ought to be taken to make complaint of such wrong,* 1.358 viz. that a parent abuseth his or her authority to hurt, and therefore implore the aide both of the Church and of the Magistrate, to reduce parents into due order: for they themselves must know, that they are under Authority, and no further made the Iudges over the children,* 1.359 then as they can answer to God for their good carriage therein. And so also to require such a childes portion from them, as in such case is fit: But, if children cannot meet with such releefe, I leave them under the crosse which God hath cast upon them, to take it up meekly and beare it,* 1.360 till God ease their chaine. But, if the father consent and the mother onely be obstinate, they may with good conscience notwithstanding proceed, yeelding all due respect to her. So much for this.

Another question heer mooved is this.* 1.361 Put case that two parties have got the affections of each other, but the father on his deathbed, dissent and forbid the marriage: whether is the conscience of the child absolutely so tyed by those ir∣revocable words, that he or she may not dare to attempt marriage? I answer, that child which out of an honourable respect shall wholy forbeare, for feare of after scruples; or shall piously encline to forbeare, doubtlesse they bewray a

very awfull heart to the counsell of their parent, especially if they be convinced of an overruling providence determining the businesse. But to affirme directly, that a child is alway bound to obey in such a case, I dare not. Many circumstan∣ces must be observed, next to the rule: and therefore first I shall thinke it fit in this businesse, that the parties resigne up themselves to the judgement of some wise and impartiall men, who (without playing bootie) may judge whether such a marriage be according to God, or not. If not, they ought so much the rather to dissolve it, as being not onely contrary to parents will, but Gods rule also. And then there is no more to be said in it: for a pious child ought not to violate such a band as this, upon any affection to the other party, or like pretence. But if the marriage be found good and equall: then ought it not to be broken off, through the parents refusall at his death: But the will of God being con∣ceived to be for it, the parents will must not contradict his. And hereto adde, that it must indifferently be enquired, first whether the parent were a man truly judicious to pronounce such a sentence? else sure its a deadly snare. Againe whe∣ther in his life he permitted the parties to consort in ordina∣ry, till they had wonne each others heart: for in that case, his deniall is doubly injust: especially if he have actually given consent during life, and changed it without ground. Also whether he were not alike various in other his con∣versation, easily drawne to or fro by small perswasion: Likewise whether he have not in other of his childrens mat∣ches, beene hardly drawn to consent, no reall cause of his dissent appearing: whether refusall might not proceed from some other sinister cause, and not the dislike of the match it selfe; as from privity to his weake estate, loth to disburse much, ashamed to come short of the worlds ex∣pectation for discredit sake, or the like. If probably these things doe appeare, I thinke the bare religion of the fathers last sentence, ought not to prevaile against more forcible reasons to the contrary: and upon the weighing of these cases, the parties ought to thinke that they heare the voice of God, to beare downe the parents: Although the

dead parent, cannot alter his words, yet it may be supposed he would have altered it, if he had lived, because he ought. For this so much. If any more questions arise, I will han∣dle them in some of the uses following, which now I ha∣sten unto. And whereas they doe concerne both children in point of duty, and parents in point of dignity, first of the first.

[Vse. 1] And first here is bitter reproofe, yea ••ror, to all such refractory children,* 1.362 as have not onely digressed from, but directly transgressed against this rule.* 1.363 If the duty of chil∣dren be so manifest, how is it, that so many children doe at once breake through this divine edict, as great flies through cobwebbes, by the stronger lawes of their own wills? Doe you so degenerate (Oye impes) from all modesty and o∣bedience? That whereas you might marry, not onely with∣in the ranke of your education, but also of religion, and the feare of God; now through your wilfull contempt of pa∣rents, not onely you chuse you unequall husbands among Ostlers and Scavengers, (for these are honest trades ac∣cording to their places) but to gracelesse ones, and such as are deservedly by-words of reproach for their swearing, drunkennes and all profanenes? Is this a parents requitall at your hands, that when there is no other trouble, that should bring the gray haires of your parents to their graves, then the treachery of those which came out of their Ioines and wombs should do it? For, as for the beggery you bring upon your selves, who should pitty them, who wrong themselves willingly, and chuse themselves such a portion? Oh! but (say some of these) we did it in a suddaine passion of love, and is not that to be pitied? I answer, considering what constant misery, your short passion hath procured you, your selves are like to have the worst of it: it were well, if o∣thers would learne to be wiser by pittying your folly. But, there is more in it then passion. For why? How many of such rebellious ones do we meet with daily, who contrary to all their parents counsels, letters, running and riding after them, threats if they venture, promises if they obey, not∣withstanding all the feares and jealousies, warnings and

watch-words of their parents,* 1.364 yet with deepe dissembling and lyes, count it their chiefe happinesse to keepe off the suspicion of that from their notice, which yet all on the sud∣daine they dare rush upon, the most clandestine and despe∣rate matches that may be! yea, after they have engaged themselves to their parents by vowes and obtestations to the contrary, that they thought they might rely upon them, Esa. 63. 10. as children that will not lye, yet then have they broken through all bands; Isay, what is this, but the depth of subtilty and villany? But still they object, The businesse was so suddenly brought to passe by perswasion, as we could not prevent it. Why? Do you wonder that your way should be so smooth, having such a factor of hell as you consult with, to promote it? Such Proctors as for a tenne shillings matter will licence it, for halfe so much dispatch it, and send you packing to woe and misery? No, no, Theeves shall ne∣ver want receivers and concealers. But, still you will say, It should not have beene done, but now its done and past; Tis true, its done strongly enough, I grant, for parents must digest that which they cannot vomit; But the necessity of the knot excuses not the knitting. And, you shall have many lookers on upon such matches, who will speake much for them; the case being none of their owne, who, if it were their owne lot to have such children, would bee ready to cast the first stone at them,* 1.365 and of all others, be most impla∣cable with them. To whom I say, Iustifie not sin in others, suspend your censure till it be your owne lot, as its like to be the sooner, if you excuse it.

Oh! but for pitty sake, you must now helpe them with some meanes to maintaine them in a hard world! why? will not love alone maintaine you in coole blood, as well as it did in hot? what? have you forsaken your parents in the maine, and come you now unto them for the by? shall you have the pleasure, and they the burden? Alas you divide badly! Nay, nay, you must hold to you to what you have chosen;* 1.366 Parents have but small joy to maintaine theeves and traytors with their meanes and estate, it cost them more the getting, then your easie matches cost you. But still they

alledge, Would you have God deale so hardly with you, when you repent? I answer, God forbid, but (if there bee any sound repentance wrought in you) you should bee as freely pardoned, as wee our selves desire to be forgiven of God! But if you thinke to tye God to your sleeves so farre to follow you with grace and repentance as fast as you sin, or to accept of that for sound, which you say is so, you much mistake it: he knoweth well if he should thus easily be baf∣fled by one, he should have enough▪ of your custome for ever. But still you insist: Let us bee accepted to favour as before. I answer, Its a greater matter then so. If we could as easily purge your hearts, as pardon you, wee would imi∣tate God, who doth both at once. But since we cannot, we must deale with you as David dealt with Absalon, though upon a shew of submission, he forgave him the punishment, yet (by your leave) he commanded him to his house, and received him not to favour.* 1.367 And as David wisely abstained from that in discretion, for feare of nourishing up the rest of his children to the like treachery: so parents had need ra∣ther to set up such children as Beacons to the rest of their fry, to scare them from the like attempts, then (as many fooles do) by over hasty reconciliation, under hope of their repentance, to encourage them to tread in the like steps. There will be time enough for that when they have bitten longer upon the bridle, and had leasure to repent that in coolenes which in their heat they committed. And so much for this first Branch.

It also confutes the practice of such children,* 1.368 as, although they will seeme to rely upon the consent of parents,* 1.369 and cannot be condemned by men in the businesse, yet its not out of any honour or obsequiousnesse to parents, from con∣science of the duty, or beholding Gods authority in them: but from policy and necessity, because they know the parent is the purse-bearer: and as the proverb saith, Be it better or worse, we must be ruled by him that beares the purse. These may say of themselves as hee once did, I sweare with my mouth, but I carry an unsworne heart within me; so, in fact I yeeld, but my heart is unloyall. So that (they say) they

must be well advised, for feare of overthrowing all. If their parents should take a pritch at their neglect, they might lose a future friend, and forfeit the hopes of their owne good e∣state: and how then should they doe? This is the pad in straw, this forces the eye of many children to be upon their parents, and to make them a grand marke or object of their duty.* 1.370 I say to you, as in another sense Paul speakes, Let every man have the cause of his owne comfort within him∣selfe, and not without: let not the duty of a childe be resi∣dent upon the fathers ability, to benefit him, or to crosse him: so that a parent may thanke his wealth for his childes ser∣vice, and say, If it had not beene silver'd or guilded over, it would never have proved. But, let it proceed from sinceri∣ty. Some will say,* 1.371 Its well that it comes any way. I an∣swer: Halfe a loafe is better then no bread: for by this meanes order is kept in conversation, and many absurdities held off, though there be no thanke to them for their obedi∣ence. For, surely if such children could draw from their pa∣rents what they listed to fish from them, as that Prodigall did,* 1.372 with a word speaking, they would soone bid duty a∣dieu, and cut out the cloth in their owne fashion, marrying as they list: wherefore yeeld this honour to thy parents en∣tirely, as their due: Be humbled if it have not beene so; make your peace with God for this, as well as for any of∣fence else whatsoever; else God may exercise thee by some unwelcome buffetting, to thy cost, and perhaps make thee to behold that sin which thou wert blinded in, in the glasse of like disobedience of thy childe to thee, yea such a childe, as (of all others) thou presumedst would be most faithfull to thee;* 1.373 Do as th••u wouldest be done unto; measure out to o∣thers as thou wouldest have them to measure backe unto thee. So much for this second.

Thirdly,* 1.374 this taxes other children also, who will perhaps suffer their parents to carry some stroke with them in their matches,* 1.375 but themselves will have the chiefe hand in it, and it must come in after the matter concluded betweene them∣selves. And then, at last, lest they should incur the reproch of refractory ones, they temporize and flatter their parents,

causing them first to thinke well of, and then to ratifie their marriages; rather indeed to salve their owne credit, and for necessity sake, then because they are willing. These coun∣terfeit actors and forces of consent, (as if it were voluntary) sin against the rule of Consent of parents: Shall a childe binde the parent to the good abearing in this kinde, and then by his consent, countenance and shrowd his owne act, in it selfe unwarrantable? Consent is the parents due: but whiles thou dost urge it unjustly, thou makest it thine owne work. Thou either dost perswade thy parent really to thinke well of thy doing, and thats to gull him: or else onely to make shew of it, and thats to make him equivocate like thy selfe.

[Vse 2] Shortly therefore, I exhort all couples that intend marri∣age, to lay away all covers of shame,* 1.376 to remove all colours, shifts, subornations of parents, and goe to worke plainly, deserve, sue, seeke for the consent of parents. Leave is light, and sweet: liberty against rule is pleasant in the tast, but bit∣ternesse is in the end of it. Remember that is the best mar∣riage, whose sweetnesse is best in the bottome: a naturall motion is swiftest in the end: now commonly matches of your owne making, are best at first, and worst after. Ayme at so peaceable a marriage, as may be so in a sad strait and af∣fliction, and may not pursue and accuse a man, when he is wounded and sore: such an one as will not upbraid the soule, and say, This day I remember my sin: and I feele this rod was of mine owne making. That which Paul speakes of the Magistrate, Obey him not for compulsion, but for conscience sake, for he beares not the sword in vaine: so here, For the parent represents not God in vaine, and his voice is the voice of heaven: Better erre with a parent then doe well without him. It shall be as health to thy na∣vill, and marrow to thy bones: it shall procure blessing from thy parent, whose curse is worse then a Popes with booke, bell, and Candle. Obey them who are set over you, for good, for their sorrow will not bee your joy: you provide ill in grieving them. Esau and his race were Lord Dukes for ma∣ny ages: but his prophane contemning and vexing of Re∣becca

with his wives, lost him his birthright, and at the last cost him ruine. Honour thy father and mother therefore, that thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord hath given thee. Say thou deny thy selfe a little in this: say thou must conflict with a crabbed untractable parent, yet behold God in a parent, when thou canst not in a good one: winne him by humility, contest not, a fathers spirit will not endure it: duty may overcome and breake his heart, but wilfull opposition will marre all. And I speake not this onely in case of young couples, living under their parents roofe, but in what distance soever they live. Nor, in case onely that the parent be wise, solid, judicious, holy: for such a one claimes it by many respects: but, even when ••eely, when unwise, irreligious, and obstinate. The good parent may pray for thy successe, as well as endow and enrich thee. But the bad and preposterous cannot forfeit his right to his childe, though he may disable it: he must have the honour of thy consent, though thou canst not enjoy the good of it. Above all, let religious children beware of prevarication in this kinde; calling in question their sincerity this way: yea, though they meet with many rubbes in their way: yet let them by their good conversation, prevaile with parents, and seeke God to breake and mollifie their parents spirits, ra∣ther then to exasperate. Yea, let mothers have this honour as well as fathers: perhaps they can better advise: howso∣ever, they have merited this honour as well as fathers. Yea let all such as are set in place of such by marriage of owne parents, all tutors, guardians, and governours share in this kinde. Thinke not that your youth and wit can see further in this kinde then theirs: children will say that old folke dote, and are fooles: but old ones know that children are so:* 1.377 God hath given them as props, therefore desoise them not. And to end, I say unto you as Abigail to David, It shall not grieve you one day, but much comfort you, that you have not made sad a loving parent. You shall never have cause to repent you.* 1.378 The way of the Lord (saith Salomon) is strength to them that walke uprightly. The word of God (saith Mica) is good to him that is upright,* 1.379 Though there

were no reward for it, yet there is reward enough, even in this, I have denyed my selfe, and obeyed. So much for this former branch, the duty of children to parents herein.

The second branch concernes the dignity of parents.* 1.380 They must conceive,* 1.381 that even in their priviledge there ly∣eth a duty too, to God, to the childe. They must say as the Centurion did,* 1.382 I my selfe am under authority. Therefore here is sad reproofe to parents, for a world of abuses. Truly most parents may thanke themselves for their childrens dis∣respect in this kinde: they never sought to nurture them up in Gods feare: to informe and teach them in the trade of Gods way, or their owne: But either out of a foolish affection and pitty, will never see ought amisse in them, as Adonija and Absalon were to David: (and the fruit was su∣table:) or a great and false opinion they have of their chil∣drens dexterity and sufficiency in this kinde, which is the high way to their ruine: or else they offend in a base and de∣generate softnesse, which hinders them from maintaining their authority in their childrens hearts: Too much fami∣liarity begets contempt: and if a servant over cockered, will looke to be as a child, then will a child looke to be haile fel∣low well met with a parent. There is a mediocrity be∣tween excesse of rigor in many parents,* 1.383 whereby they are so darke and aloofe from their children, as if they were some other mens children, and their slaves; (which imbreeds bad thoughts of them, base qualities of servility and hollow∣nes in children, and exasperates their spirits against them:) It causes children to thinke themselves slighted, and as in o∣ther points, so in marriage, as if parents were too high to take thought for it. Difference (I say) there is betweene austerity, and the contrary extreame, of foolish familiarity. For by this, children grow so sawcy and effeminated, that they thinke it almost ridiculous to question it, whether their parents will consent to their choices: because they have beene wont to be soothed in all, by them, and never crossed. Paul sayth well to young Timothy, see that no man despise thee. So I to old parents. Doe nothing which which might forfeit thy authority into the hand of thy Boy,

or Girle. Of all such I say, as old Jacob to Reuben, Thy dig∣nity is gone. Lay the foundation, O parent, of that privi∣ledge, which thou wouldest preserve to thy selfe, in the wise menaging of thy childs spirit while he is yong and tender; for thats the season of leavening him with such principles, as must worke after.

Other parents so love their ease and vacation from care and sollicitude,* 1.384 that, rather then they would take the paines, they chuse to commit all to wind and weather, leave all to the will of the children, hit they, or misse they, they care not. Doe we know (say they) what will fit and content our children, what woman they would fancy, or distaste? If we should negotiate in this worke, our children perhaps, would beshrew us, for ever after, and never love us more. We for our parts have given our selves content in our wives [ 1] and matches, and we have done well (God be thanked) and so (we hope) may they also. Surely you teach your children good divinity. They see small religion serves your turne, and you are better without it, then with it: and they see, that if they should marry any better then the parents, the goodnesse of a wife would be but a superflous object to them, if not a continuall eyesore, and therefore they tread in their steps, like child strives to give content to like parent.

[ 2] Other parents are also so inconstant in their humors, and aimes at their childrens matches, that they can never come to a point with themselves about them: Their hearts are carnall, and therefore never satisfied. For, either on the one side, they are so wedded to the peny, that (although they very well might) they are loth to part with any thing, for the present, to procure competent portions for the children: Or else, they seeing their estate too narrow for their proud hearts, and scorning that they should match their children no better, then they can; forbeare altogether to yeeld con∣sent to any: though the yeares and desires of the poore children crave it: Or else they aime at such portions for their heires, for the helping forward of their daughters matches, or else looke at such concurrences of birth and

parts, that scarse any can please them. Others are accessa∣rie to their childrens bad matches, by their unprevention and dalliance: (as before hath beene spoken) and per∣mitting their children unseasonable commerce and long ac∣quaintance with such, as they know to be sutable compa∣nions, cannot break them off after, when they would, be¦cause they are snared. Others are too satagent and busie a∣bout their childrens matches, for they being led by no groundes nor sound reasons, but fancie, doe perswade their children to such matches, as become most snaring and uncomfortable to them for ever after, selling them to sorrow.

Neither are parents guilty onely about the match it selfe,* 1.385 but also the consequence thereof. For why? through their indiscreet love to their welfares, and their ambitious de∣sires for their childrens enhaunsments, they grant greater jointures to their eldest then their estates will permit, and so damnifie the rest of their better deserving children, and either must runne themselves into endlesse debts by borrow∣ing for them, or else be at their curtesie for the releasing of that, which they might have kept still in their owne hands. By this folly they doe a double mischiefe:* 1.386 for first they set the elder on float, to be some great persons, and raise up their spirits above their estates, drawing them to great ex∣pence, company, and at last to ruine: and then for the ma∣king of the eldest a Gentleman, they must leave the rest to beggery: either basely to depend upon their brother for meanes (which commonly falls short, and comes to no∣thing) or else to take debauched courses, to steale, to sherke for their living. Thus the folly of parents (upon the sequele of their childrens first matching) filles the world with bare yonger bretheren, with hangbies, and idle ones, snaring them with perpetuall discord and quarrells, and at last bringing them to most dishonorable ends. No, no: you parents, be wise, God hath made you your childrens carvers: Set your house in order, and doe not make confusion among your posterity, to please the humor of one child: let all have childrens parts: Doe not rush your selves into such

debts, as your heires must be faine to take all, and pay all, and so fleece the rest: Let the eldest (carrying himselfe well) have a double portion (education being considered which the eldest are surest of) and the rest, a competent allowance; for perhaps they may do as much good in their places after, as the elder, if not more, for grace doth not al∣way goe with Birthright.

But,* 1.387 above all follies in this kind, that is most eminent, when parents, to make their children great, thrust them∣selves out of all, that their children might succeed them in their places, holding the candle to them, while they doe all, and act their parts upon the stage. And by this meanes, both father and mother, which have lived in good sort all their time, come in their old daies to depend wholy upon their childrens curtesie: That part of their life, which of all others, requires best attendance and maintenance▪ must now become most shiftlesse and desolate. They must come out of the hall into the kitch••n, sit at tables end, or in the chimny corner with a poore pittance sent them, and at last die in discontent, and repenting themselves of their fol∣ly. But, if they may be at good tearmes, upon condition of being their servants both without doors and within, as droils and drudges, they may deeme themselves well apayd. For when all strength and ability is gone, then are they no lon∣ger set by, but cast up for hawkes meat, despised, counted as burdens, wherefore to be eased would be no small joy to their children: And it its worse with some parents, because they live to see all spent and consumed, e're they die, one and other, ••tocke and branches, all withered and come to naught. Be wise, you parents, yeeld not your selves cap∣tives and prisoners to your children: no prison can bee more yrkesome to a parent, then a sonne or daughters house: Trust neither of them in this case, for in truth, your selves make the snare, and your children put it on you: you wrong your children in putting that into their hands, which God hath denied them: Love must descend, not ascend: its not naturall (saith Paul) for children to provide for parents, but for parents to provide for them, therefore invert not

providence. Looke to your consent, and looke to those consequences following upon your consent; be sure to hold stroake sufficient in your hand, for the securing of love and duty from your children. You will say, all children are not alike in this case: its true; but the best will bite, and the ordinance of God must be attended unto, as the first rule in such cases as these. Sure bind, sure find: if you must needs come downe, rather chuse to fall into the hands of God, then your children.

Neither must I passe by Guardians and Governours of Or∣phans in this point:* 1.388 many of whom being left as menagers of the stocks and portions of children, being now secure of any eie to see or judge them, doe most treacherously betray pooore children to misery, both before, and in their marri∣ages. [ 1] They make the childrens monies, payments of their debts, enhansing of their owne states, and houskeepings: bringing up the children at meane termes, binding them to base masters▪ and exposing them to the hardest conditions, for back, belly, and conscience. When their time of pay∣ments come, they bring in great billes of expences, under color, and pretend great debts, and charges lying upon them, for the execution of the wills of the deceased: As for their matches, they put them off to inferiour persons, such as very mean portions may content and satisfie, interverting the rest, to their owne ends: and by one cunning slight or other, eluding the allegations and complaints of their or∣phans, and leaving them to stand to their lot, or else to sinke in their sorrowes. Our daies are full of these examples: and as full of the just hand of God upon such privie theeves and traytors as those. [ 2] Another sort of Guardians authorized by the law to be so, (although of late God be thanked, bet∣ter order is taken that parents or next of k••n may be the un∣dertakers for the children if they will goe to the price) doe make a meere marquet of their orphans, and sell them as sheepe and swine for money. Quite overthrowing the pur∣pose of the law, which is to be faithfull for the good of the orphan. Instead of offering yea providing meet wives for them, such as might bee very way sutable to their place,

birth and worth, what doe they? Surely they turne to the spoile, and offer them such as they know will be unwelcome, and so thereby purchase a great fine unto themselves, and leave them to their owne choice and fortunes. Others, more dishonestly, force base and inconvenient matches upon them; either matching them to their owne children, and so raysing their owne estates thereby: or else, selling them for mony to others; (and which is worst of all) lest the orphan should suspect and shunne the offer propounded; what doe they? They marry them in their childhood at 10. 12. or 13. yeares of age, long before the time of meet cohabitation, sending the one to travaile, till he have fulfilled his yong wives yeares: who when they returne, come to them with a forced affection, and that breeds disdaine, where there should be greatest affection. And hereby growes such di∣staste betweene the parties,* 1.389 that they abandon each others fellowship, bed and boord, expose each others to most despe∣rate snares, and to promiscuous lusts: and, if there be any reconciliation wrought, its but violent, and the cursed fruits of the separation doe so distemper their hearts, that they fall at new jarres for their unchastity, and disloialty of bodies: they renounce some of the children, as none of their owne, and so, doe but passe on a most uncomfortable time of mar∣riage, more dismall, then to live in a wildernesse, because the necessity of an unwelcome chaine, makes it doubly wearisome. And as themseves, so they who were the authors of such matches, do live together at deadly feude, at conti∣nuall sutes, the one striving to revenge himselfe upon the o∣ther, till both their estates be ruined. I doe not hereby ex∣clude Guardians from that due respect which the law affor∣deth when their care and respect to their orphans welfare is sutable to the calling of a Governour: But, whatsoever the law allots, the conscience of one that feares God should be so tender, that themselves being no losers, in respect of the charge which they have bin at, they should deale with the orphan mercifully in all other respect of advantage, which a man of no conscience would encroach upon. Such as looke at their own peace and the honour of their profession,

will be wary, in such undertakings, to make their retreat sure, that nothing may after be cast upon them, which might crocke their name or religion, or give occasion to others, either to stumble at the practice, or to make it at a president for the like impiety.

* 1.390To conclude, I say this to all parents, who will be ruled by the word, boast not of your honour and priviledge, to doe hurt with: Shunne all those base distempers of which I have treated at large, as the infamies and reproaches of bad parents, or governours: Sinne not on either hand, ether on the right, or left, neither by base sluggish neglect and contempt of this charge, nor yet by any abusing of your li∣berty, to the prejudice of your children. But walke in the cleere way of duty. To which end, consider, your preroga∣tive is allotted you by God, no otherwise, then that you might undertake the duty, more cheerfully. Be circumspect, pain∣full, wife and helpfull to your children, (so farre as your meanes will admit) with a free, beteaming heart: God tries your love and integrity, by this occasion. Times are now growne such, that the best parents cannot improve their love and affection to their well deserving children, as were to be wished: the world is at such an high rate, that they whose estates are not very great, can hardly light upon a comely sutable match, especially for daughters: there being none so meane now adaies, but looke for as good portions, as in our predecessors time, would have beene thought a very good portion for men thrice above their fashion: And it is the disease as well of the children of God, as of men, to flight good matches, where excesse of portion attends not: yea, I am perswaded, its the cause why Gods hand is so manifest in the ill successe of most matches, because God was never so little looked at in marriages, as now. But as for these things, let both good parents and children, count it their affliction: beare it meekely, and leave it to God. Let your love be neverthelesse, to doe them the good you can. It is not in your power to do all you would: God will have somewhat left to himselfe: Smaller matches with Gods presence and blessing, (for ought I see) may in short

time, equall farre greater, in successe. Doe that for your children, both in your education, meanes, counsell, prayers, providence which is in your power to doe, and as for the the rest, remember, marriages are made in heaven, and thence must expect their happinesse: you can doe no more then you can. And, for this whole argument, viz. consent of parents, thus much.

CHAP. V.

Touching a contract. What it meanes. The substance of it. Answer to some questions about it.

COncerning this argument,* 1.391 the first enquirie, will be a∣bout the word (contract) how and in what sense we here use it: Then touching the necessity or indifference thereof. Thirdly, concerning the performance and act of contracting. Fourthly, touching such reasons or respects as whereupon it may seeme to be reasonably practised. And then shall want such quaeres, as are or may be made against it, or about it. Lastly we will conclude with some use of the point.* 1.392 For the former of these we here make a contract, a relative word importing an antecedent act betweene two parties, who intend marriage: that is to say, a private, mu∣tuall, free, unconditionall promise, having past between these two persons to marry each other, and no other. But here this contract is not ment; but a more solemne and open binding expression of this former promise made, that it may be ratified and strengthned, as becommeth a businesse of so great consequence. So that before we come to any other consideration, we must needs premise a little, touching mar∣riage promises, made in private betweene the single parties, (it being presupposed that they be not within degrees pro∣hibited, and further that they be without all exception, of inconvenience, or ill report and scandall (as in the case of cozen Germans is manifest) and the nature thereof. For

we must know, that although an explicite or expressed con∣tract, hath in it the greater force externall before men, to tye the parties to marriage;* 1.393 yet the mutuall promises of them both joyntly made, either at the first, or afterwards, doe as deepely binde them both before God, and in court of conscience, as the other doth. And indeed the difference betweene them, is not formall, but accidentall: and both are true reall contracts, or covenants, the one as the other: and if there be somewhat in the expressed contract which is not in the other, in respect of outward obligation: then may there be truly said to be somewhat in the former, which is not in that, in respect of essence. For the being of the ex∣pressed contract rests in the former,* 1.394 viz. in the deliberate, voluntarie, mutuall and honest resolutions of the parties a∣mong themselves: which being past, give the essence to marriage, before the other came, and is the foundation and ground of the latter: For else it might be said, that any pas∣sage of expression betweene two, before witnesse, falling from parties, though in rashnesse, or in sport, or upon a question demanded, might carry the force of a contract, which no man of any sense can imagine: to wit, because the expressed contract before witnesse, implieth a former mutuall consent betweene them, not now to be questioned: but yet for speciall causes, to be more solemnly and pub∣liquely testified for avoyding of great inconvenience. And this appeares plainly by the effect which a contract or pro∣mise produceth: and that is a great alteration in the parties, who before such promise, were their owne and had the stroke in their owne hand, to dispose of themselves as they please: But, after their mutuall promise, they cease to be their owne, and passe over themselves, (not their money, or corne, or goods, but themselves) each under God to the other, so that now each hath power over other, and onely one over the other. In so much that whatsoever other pro∣mise should possibly be made, by both of them, or either of them, to any other, besides themselves, if confessed, doth disanull it selfe, and is ipso facto voide, by vertue of the pre∣contract or forepromise so made: But although it be de∣nyed,

yet it nevertheles bindes them before God, so that they shall be for ever culpable before him, of treachery and spouse∣breach, without repentance. If this were considered, doubtlesse it would awe the spirits of many hot and un∣stayed yoong ones, from such attempts. But of that after. Heere onely I say, that seeing the true nature of selfe re∣nouncing and selfe resigning resydes as really in a private promise, as in a witnessed contract, therfore they are not two things, but the same with divers circumstances for speciall reasons, annexed. So much for the acception of the word.

To this I may adde,* 1.395 that in some cases, realls may counter∣vaile verballs: when as a thing done implies as much (in the judgement of a discreet man) as a promise made in words. As if a person formerly intermitting a purpose to marry another yet hearing, that she is attempted by a new lover, shall repaire to the party and say, so it is that you know there is love betweene you and me of a long time depending, so deep, that I dare not in conscience, yeeld my right in you to any other; wherefore I pray you, if any such thing be offred, accept it not: this in conscience ties the party to marry her, and is equivalent in promise, and if there be wit∣nesse, it concludes against him, that shall desert her. Why? because he defraudes her of a possibility of equall weight, to his owne marriage. So againe, a man hath desisted to pr••∣secute an offer of marriage with a woman, Virgin, or wid∣dow (all is one) and the woman adresses her selfe to a farre off dwelling, perhaps thousands of miles out of the Kingdome: The man hearing of her drif••, comes to her, and tells her, that whereas there hath beene some inter∣mission of love and marriage-sute a long time, yet now he cannot permit her to goe that long voyage, his love is so deepe towards her, and therefore disswades her jour∣ney.

Here I say, that although the woman (if free before) is at her owne hand to goe, or not to goe, yet if she consent to stay, the motion made is equipollent to a promise of marri∣age: and cannot in conscience nor righteousnesse be bro∣ken

off by the man. Many like instances might be used: but these are sufficient.

The Vse, &c. This being thus, what should the punish∣ment be of such counterfeits, and impudent varlets, who dare falsifie the matter of a promise, that is, impudently a∣verre and beat downe a party, that there hath beene a co∣venant and promise of marriage betweene them, when as yet never any such thing was in the world? I say such per∣sons ought to have the uttermost penalty inflicted that the Law can impose: as being an extreame impeachment of the credit and estate of the innocent party, and a marke of intolerable audaciousnesse in abusing so solemne a thing, to any counterfeit ends of base wretches, not meet to live in a Commonwealth. An example whereof wee have lately had in our Corner, by so much the more odious, because so insolent.

Before I passe from this point of promise,* 1.396 it may be asked, what promise doth realize marriage before God? I answer: First, it must be mutuall; secondly, voluntary or free; third∣ly, without error; I meane such as doth overthrow and con∣tradict it selfe. [ 1] First, it must be mutuall, and equall, not of one to the other onely,* 1.397 but of that other to him? For if such a promise be a putting off ones selfe into the power of ano∣ther: then, as no man can put himselfe into anothers power without an act of his owne resignation of the liberty he had in himselfe, so neither can each of the two parties give up their liberties without mutuall consent each to other. For in marriage the yeelding up of the right of one, receives a right in another: and therfore it must be mutuall and recipro∣call. If one shall pretend the promise of the other, and yet suspend his owne, as thinking hereby to tye that party to his owne time and leasure, himselfe being free, he is deceived. For marriage consent must be mutuall; and the party with∣drawing consent, doth in that respect extinguish and make frustrate the others promise from s••aring the promiser: ex∣cept afterward the other party also shall as freely come in as the other did, and so make the promise mutuall and equall. I have heard of a sad accident in this kinde, that be fell a sui∣tor

to a maid, being a Gentleman of good personage, he see∣ing himselfe to have wonne the affections of the maid, and thinking himselfe ••ure enough of her, without any deepe ob∣liging himselfe unto her, pleased himselfe in his conquest, and there rested: so long till the Gentlewoman perceiving her selfe slighted, fell to as deepe a disdaine of him, as hee had beene indifferent to her: in so much as another match being offered her, she embraced it. But the report thereof comming to the Gentleman, as he was playing very solemn∣ly upon his Lute, he suddenly start up, and breaking his Lute all to peeces, instantly went out of his wits. A notable Item to all, that they play not fast and loose in matter of mu∣tuall [ 2] promise, and speedy dispatch of marriage. Secondly, it must be free and voluntary, not drawne forth by circum∣vention and subtill trickes or polices,* 1.398 either of the par∣ties themselves, nor yet their agents and spokesmen: nor extorted by feare and threats, either of parents, (when they are desirous to put off their children for their ease, and are set to dispatch the matter) or by the parties themselves, (as when the man menacing the woman, and attempting to ra∣vish her, except shee consent, or to doe other violence to her, doe hereby force a promise from her) or any other who are active in the businesse. And this I would have noted, that although parents doe not use any compulsory and terrifying courses, to draw their children to inconvenient matches; yet if they doe carry themselves stearnly to their children in an indirect way, and refuse to heare them who are third parties, using weighty reasons to disswade; or if the parents doe not rather in meeknesse convince the childe by reasons invincible out of the word, or other respects of good rea∣son and discretion, that its a meet match, yeelding still to the childes objections, (who must bide by the sorrow, when the parent goes free) then I say, That the overmuch reve∣rentiall awe of the parent, smiting into the childe a loath∣nesse to offend, and taking deliberation a way from it, that so its led in a cord of necessity to doe that which else it would not doe: I say this ought to bee counted as a com∣pulsion, and such a childe to be pittied and freed from the

Contract: Or, if marriage proceed, and ill consequences follow, they must be all fastned upon the parent, not upon the childe, and the childe may claime the best amends. I say then such promises binde not in conscience, because the princible of willingnesse is absent: and the party would never have consented, if such feare and compulsion had not beene used. I adde this, except afterward the party being freed from such feare, and returning to her selfe, shall ex∣presse another consent free and ingenuous: then the for∣mer impediment cannot frustrate this latter promise.

Thirdly,* 1.399 it must also be without deceit or false opinion: and that in such a kinde▪ as opposeth marriage essentially. Hence those Heathenish presidents of marriages are fru∣strate, when one sexe marries the same, (Nero was an hor∣rible example) when an Eunuch marries a woman, or a wo∣man marries an Hermophradite (one of the Epicene gen∣der,) when a man is deceived in the person, as Jacob in Lea, put into his bed in stead of Rahel: (notwithstanding the act of copulation) but especially, when the party supposed to be pure, and a virgin, proves defiled and corrupted: in such a case, if it breake out, before marriage consummate, it doth justly infringe the promise, and makes it of none effect. This be said touching a binding promise.* 1.400 But touching this last of error, understand it of no other errors accidentall, which doe not of themselves crosse marriage. For, though they may be such as gave occasion to the party to consent, and, had the error beene foreknowne, the party would not have yeelded: yet because they disannull not the reall knot of marriage, that is, peculiarity of person, by defilement, there∣fore they are presumed no other then in some cases would have beene admitted: and therefore the party must stick to his or to her promise, neverthelesse; and therefore let them either beare it as their desart for lacke of inquisition, or if they did their indeavour to be informed, but were deceived, let them take it as the triall which God hath put upon them; the promise bindes still, except the other party releaseth it. And so much for this question.

[Vse 1] Some Vse would doe well, ere I leave it, because the

point is but occasionall,* 1.401 and shall be no more returned unto. And I would urge these two uses following, the one of Ad∣monition, the other of Reproofe. The admonition is, that ••ingle persons be well advised of their promises, ere they make them. And indeed few words might serve▪ if the for∣mer item were well regarded: viz. that the speaking of a few words at once, may for ever dispossesse them of their li∣berty, never to be recovered: fooles once, and slaves per∣petually. So that its no matter of slightnes, and merryment, no play, no trifle, no sport, except you will call that a sport which may cost a poore wretch both body and soule. Abuer indeed called murder a sporte, but bitternesse was in the end of it. Be advised therefore: and let this point, seaso∣nably as a hammer knocke home to the head the former ex∣hortation of marrying in the Lord, and wisely to looke well about you, e're you venture. I pray tell me, would you wil∣lingly make another man master and owner of any commo∣dity you have for nothing? say it were but your horse, or cow, yea were it but a dogg, which you set by? I trow not, how much lesse of thy selfe? Art thou so seelly as to resigne up the right of thy selfe, and to make thy selfe a prisoner, a captive, in the prison of marriage, whence there is no es∣cape. Surely no except thou art mad, and hatest thine own flesh: thou wouldst not doe that with a breath, which all thy worth cannot revoke and undoe? As Salomon saith, be∣ware how thou become surety for a stranger: quit thy selfe speedily, and deliver thy selfe as a Roe, and as a bird from the net of the pursuer. Man or woman, youth or maid, looke to your promises. I thinke resignation of a mans or womans selfe to an other, had not need to be to every commer, to every unknowne stranger, to each unchast, irreligious, in∣discreet companion, which might make thy life irkesome for ever. In the promise is the foundation of marriage: whether it be well done or ill, it can be done but once, therefore let it be deliberately, wisely and well done. Oh! let it be a solemne thought with you, my promise gives away my selfe and takes unto my selfe another, my liberty is gone. If a woman be urged to give up her right onely in a little copy∣hold

she will shrug at it, and thinke well of it before hand: And yet shee may possibly recover a better peece of land, for a small matter: But this free hold of thy person, and thy liberty, once resigned up and forgone, can never be re∣covered againe. Therefore I say, be well advised e're thou forfeit it.

The second use is Terror and Reproofe to all who have disguised themselves in this kind of inconsiderate,* 1.402 rash pro∣mises. You shall have leasure enough to repent, if anguish will suffer you. Also of all violent parents, who to be ridd of their children, force them upon unsutable marriages, which their children had as leive part with their lives, as venture upon: and so bring upon them a lasting monument of misery. If saith the parent, thou refuse this match, I will never own thee for my child, I will dispossesse thee of all? Nay what say you to parents who first defloure virgins, and then force their childen to marry the harlots, for a cover of their owne villanie: Is not this cursed love, and cruell command of an inocent child? But to be short, especi∣ally it rebuketh the basenesse of many, who cast arrowes, and deadly things, and say am not I in sport? that is, who scrue themselves with strong perswasions and arguments into the hearts of such as they sue unto, and having so done, breake off all againe, and wipe off every crumme off their mouthes, as if they had eaten no bread: Oh, you masterlesse persons: what? are sollemne promises but cobwebs, which great flyes can breake through? Make ye no bones of them? doe ye snap these bandes in two as Samson did his cordes and greene withes? There is one who is stronger then you, who will not be mocked, but bind you for bur∣sting in cheines too strong for you. But perhaps you will say, if it were my lightnesse and giddinesse, it were very sinfull indeed, and I deserved never to be trusted more. Yes perhaps your word shall be taken, but it shall be by such an one, as shall make you doe penance against your will, all your life for the breach of that promise which you willingly made. But you have since that heard sad reports of the par∣ty: for instance sake. That the woman is no huswife, or

is a Melancholique person, not fit for your temper, nor yet (in a second marriage) for your children, or she hath some of her owne, or some such blemish now you have found out: well either these are true or else false. Are they false? How basely minded art thou, whom the pratling tongue of some false sycophant, jangler or gossip (loving neither her nor thy selfe unfeignedly, should shake that affection of thine, which being well grounded once (as thou suppo∣sedst) drew from thee promises of marriage? But say they are true in part, or wholly? what then? They come in out of season, the steed is stolen, its too late now to shut the stable doore: affections are snared, thou maist not desert her. Wast thou not in thy owne power before? hath any man forced thee to resigne it, save thy free selfe? Thou art snared: and I say, if she should release thee, it were her meeknes and dis∣cretion, but its thy rashnesse: if thou wert amerced as he was, who defiled a Virgin, for the satisfaction of her dis∣contented spirit, and questioned name, thou were well ser∣ved. No other satisfaction can duely be made her, then thy returne againe to her with so much the more affection, by how much thy deserting of her hath beene long and yrkesome. Let the falling out of friends, be the renuing of love: Thou departedst once, that thou mightst returne for ever. And thus much for this occasionall point of pro∣mises.

[Quest.] Now I come to the second generall: having shewed ther∣fore of what contract I am heere to speake, viz. of a wit∣nessed and professed contract,* 1.403 it may be demanded whether it be essentiall or not, to marriage? [Answ.] To which I say, that the essence of marriage consists in the former promise ma∣king mutually to each other: therefore there is no essentiall necessity of the witnessing and professing there of, before o∣thers, but marriage may stand as reall and firme, in point of substance without it as with it. Howbeit, I conceive it to be of very speciall expediencie and use, for the behoofe and good of the parties, as I shall after manifest. All sorts of people, even very heathens have alwaies esteemed Es∣pousalls, Betrothings, Assurings, Contractings, Affirmings,

(for they are all one) to be very solemne matters, as the words they use, and the ceremonies then performed, do testi∣fie: So sacred and reverend it hath appeared to all sorts,* 1.404 that there seems to be a finger of God, pointing out the usefulnes thereof. Witnesse the assembling of the friends of the par∣ties on both sides to be spectators therof, that so the blessing of it might bee more effectuall. Witnesse that instance of Booz and Ruth who were (as it were) affianced in the gate of their City, before many solemne witnesses: who being called forth to testifie the contract, did assent thereto, and by their acclamations and thanksgivings, and prayers to God for them, graced and honored the same. So that its no wonder if the Church of both old and new Testament did practise it. And its particularly specified in the Genera∣tion of Christ, that when Joseph and Mary had been espou∣sed together, before they came together, shee was found with child,* 1.405 of the holy Ghost. The Hebrew writers tell us of the formes and tenor of words used among the Iewes, to wit, that by divers reall ceremonies, they strengthned the promise which had passed betweene the parties, and that in a set meeting of the familie. Somtimes they did it by tickets of paper, written by each of their hands, and de∣livered by each other mutually. Sometime by very solemne words of obligation passing betweene them: sometime by a peece of coine given and received, which by the change of possession, argued the possession and assignment which one made and surrendred to the other: All to shew that they accoumpted this businesse no trifle, or toy, to be wan∣tonly used, for the pleasing of carnall humors, but a divine ordinance requiring firme and strong assurance each of o∣ther. The formes were these, Lo, thou art betrothed unto me, or, be thou betrothed unto me, or the like. If it were without witnesses, it was frustrate. The solemnity hereof was acted under a Tent, Canopie or Tabernacle, set up for the nonce, to shew inwardnesse and secrecie of marriage affection and benevolence. This was distinct from the act of marriage it selfe, which followed sometime after, and was done with great festivity and with many songs and

Epithallamium's of the boyes and girls of the bride chamber, alluded unto by our Saviour Luc. 5. After the contract fol∣lowed the dowry bill, which was from the man to the wo∣man: though the woman brought a portion to the man al∣so, as appeares in Calebs bestowing his daughter Achsa up∣on Othniel,* 1.406 yet usually it was the mans act to endow the wife onely, and to purchase her unto himselfe. To these may be added, (which I adde lest any should accuse me of singularity) the joint consent and practice of the Church of God among our selves, especially such as feare God, (though we condemne not those who doe not:) and there are ex∣tant in print sundry bookes published by authority, and by name one of M. R. G. wherein the practice of that reverend servant of God, is at large expressed, when he contracted couples. So that I hope, touching this second branch, little more need be added.

Touching the third,* 1.407 which is the action or performance of the contract. And that standeth in three personall acts. The first is of him that leadeth the contract, or guideth the two parties, to expresse their former consent. Who ought to be a meet person for gravity, and experience, able to teach them (if need require) the duties of that condition, and to answer such scruples as might arise in their mindes about it. In a word, such an one, as by his presence might cast some awe and authority upon the mindes of the parties, and assist the action with some correspondence. One that may bee wise to discerne of the frame of the parties, and therefore by questions may sift out the truth, to prevent danger, as by demanding whether they formerly have engaged them∣selves to any other man or woman, person or persons, shew∣ing them the dangerous sinfulnesse of such dalliance: Also, whether themselves have freely and without feare, and with the mutuall consent of parents, testified, by presence, or by their hand (if doubt be made) consented mutually in heart, to this contract. The second person, are the par∣ties contracted: who ought to follow him that leades them in the contract, thus, or in like forme of words; first the man, then the woman: I Thomas, Iohn, &c. doe take thee

Joane, Mary, &c. for my espowsed husband, or wife, and I promise to marry thee shortly without faile, if God will. And so with some short counsel and praier to God to dismis them, as true man and wife before God. The third person are the witnesses produced: who being moved therto, answer and say, we are witnesses of this contract, by which these parties are betrothed each to other, and wil testifie it, being required.

The fourth generall is, the rationall respects, in which such a contract seemes very meet to be used.* 1.408 And they may be reduced to these three following. As first the sutablenes of the contract to the witnesses of the attempt. It's meet that such things be done orderly, leasurely, and by degrees, not rashly,* 1.409 suddenly: and therefore although a promise have passed betwixt the parties,* 1.410 yet as the matter growes riper between them, so its comely that it be no longer kept secret, but manifested, that thereby they may be awed with the more feare and jealousie of themselves, from uncomely and audacious enterprises one against the others chastity. Second∣ly to prevent inconstancy.* 1.411 The nature of flesh is vaine: and all men are liers. And its seene as much in this subject, as any others.* 1.412 As hot as youth is in her gare and passion, yet the best of their gold prooves brasse oft times, when they weigh things in coole blood. Adde hereto, that this base world is full of curiosity, and jangling, talebearers, and flatterers, who fill the eares of couples with idle and ungrounded surmises: whereunto they whose eares as cre∣dulous, doe lye open, and hereby their affections are un∣justly alienated, each against other. Thus fooles love lightly, and leave as lightly, others of themselves, not knowing their one spirit, take a toy in their heads, and without all rea∣son, runne into humors of feare, jealousie, melancholie and conceitednesse against each other, and so withdraw them∣selves suddenly from each other, and change their mindes. They doe not (as they say) affect so well as at first, they ob∣serve some lightnesse each in other, some u••gov••••n'd tongue and passions, or they distast the kind••ed car••iage, or training, and upon these eiesores, either so, o•• seemi••g so, they repent them, and fall off. And yet perha••s some of these have had

time long before to bethinke themselves. But who can make a coate for the Moone? By this meanes, as God is dishonored, so the party innocent wiser and of more solid affections is deluded, yea sometime driven to desperatenesse: And had not here need to be a cord to tie a Proteus in a knot from sliping? yes surely, witnesses had need be solemnly used to witnesse to the contract, that if they will still be so fickle, they may be compelled to faithfulnesse, or else hand∣led as their treachery deserveth. I have heard of some who have gone to the doores of the church to be married, and yet shrunke back. And whereas its objected, may not things ap∣peare in time worse which before lay hid? I answer yes, but you should have thought so before, and suspended your promises: except you made no other promises, then you in∣dented together to keepe or breake, and that each should consent to the others resolution, either to proceed or desist, which I thinke is a fulsome course, and makes a promise needlesse and frustrate.

Thirdly,* 1.413 this may serve for the benefit of the parties con∣tracted. For,* 1.414 as it was an ancient custome among the Iewes when two parties were contracted, to pray to God for them, and to blesse them solemnly: and (no doubt) the parents or such as supplied their roomes, did annexe some word of exhortation, to them, from the experience they had, both how great worke they entred upon, and how raw and greene they were to digest it, so I say I thinke it not a∣misse, that some grave person did the like now. The con∣tract ought not to be a bare surrender of each other; but an instilling of some discreet watchwordes and charges from their elders, touching the mutuall duties of both, jointly and severally, and so prayer for a blessing to be added. Solemne things should be handled accordingly even in the outward fashion of it: for men are sensible and sensuall creatures, and are led by outward objects to inward apprehensions. Still I say, I do not affirme this course to be of the essence of the contract, but yet a very meet addition, if it may be had: and much making for the better dispatch thereof. And, what season is so apt as this? when the Ewes of Laban

were to conceive, Jacob (warranted by God) set roddes pilled and straked before them, that the fancie of the crea∣ture being heated in the act of generation, might the easier carrie in the species of particolourednesse: So here, the sight of so solemne a worke is this is, of contracting two, and making them one flesh, will more easily and throughly stirre the imagination, and the sense being mooved, doth the more familiarly convey the instruction to the understanding and heart. Pitty therfore it is, that the mouldes being so ready to fashion it, that the melted metall of instruction should be wanting unto them, they being so capable. And this I think is the cause, why there be Sermons made at Baptisme, and the Supper, at funeralls and such occasions, to let in the doctrines of the things into men, (whereunto in generall most are so a verse) because, as there is a season for all things, (which is like apples of gold and pictures of silver,) so also for this: and that is, when by the novelty and strangenesse of the thing, never done before, the mind is provoked to an expectation, and so sets the wheels on worke, to receive and apply things according to their worth and use. This for the third. Only one word more I adde: If any should aske, what forme of instruction were meet to be used at such a time, to the parties contracted? I answer, I prescribed none: This whole treatise following sheweth their duties; two or three sentences culled out of each branch may serve at such a time, if wisely applyed, as the severall use of the parties may seeme to require. So much for this fourth.

* 1.415 [ 5] Now I proceed to the fift generall, touching the questi∣ons arising out of this contract. [Quest. 1] The first may be, what is to be thought touching the publication of the contract, in the assembly, and touching the Ministers act in marrying. For the former, I say, it is a very discreet and necessary act of the Church:* 1.416 for as much as the procuring of the safety and good report of the married, is a point of religion. Now the private contract of two insecret, or with a few, reach∣eth not the end of publication; Because its more likely that the body of a Congregation may sooner give notice of any precontract betweene the parties, then a few witnesses

can doe: and as for the parties themselves if they were guilty, its much lesse to be expected, that they should accuse themselves. So that, for prevention of such a confusion, as to marry precontracted persons, what course can be too safe and sufficient? True it is, when all is done, it may proove but little to purpose, through the subtilty of the offending party: but when that is done which can be, the Church is free: the mischiefe ought justly to light upon the wicked delinquent. Well therefore were it in this case, if liberty were denied to parties, (at least in so common a way of a fee, without difference, or speciall inquiry about the fitnesse of the dispensation) from thwarting so wise and orderly a device: which being done, people would not itch as they doe after private marryings, to oppose publication, and that upon humor, and vanity. For through such a base custome, it comes to passe, that one learnes of another, and now he is thought but a peasent who declines not this lawful provi∣sion of the Church. Rather those who be of fashion and wealth, should thinke it their honor to submit to this practice: that they might give the better example to others, and so approve the warrantablenes of their marriage: and stop the gap of privacy and of clandestne matches, without consent of parents, a world of sutes upon pretended precontracts, and as much sorrow to parents who by this disorder are robbed of their children, and cannot understand of their marriage, till it be past revoking.

[Quest. 2] The second question is, what is to be thought of the mar∣rying by a minister? The question ariseth from the diffe∣rence of other Countries fashions in this kind.* 1.417 In the Scrip∣tures, we see it was civilly carried, and dispatcht by the Elders in the gate: and now in some of the reformed Churches, we see its performed in like sort, officers being appointed to take their names, to booke them in a Record, and so with a short ceremony to dismisse them. [Answ.] But in my judgement the practice of our church to do it, by the minister is every way most convenient. For by this meanes, the pub∣liquenes of the action, makes the matter more solemne, awes the parties much more, both before marriage to carry them∣selves

so, as they may not be ashamed to shew their faces in publike, to justifie what they had done. And if there were liberty given to parties in this kind to marry upon their pri∣vate contracts, what a world of sinne might ensue, as in some to live in a course of defilement, and to abuse each o∣thers bodies, at their pleasures: in others to leave each o∣thers, even after the knowledge of each other, besides ma∣king of that vulgar, which cannot be preserved too warily. I deny not, but that possibly some persons so marring, might do it without direct sin against God: but what's that to the scandall which is occasioned thereby? we must so looke at that we doe lawfully in it selfe, as not forgetting our rule, that we procure things honest before men. Whatsoever is pure, and of good report, that we must ensue, and so the peace of God attends us, not else. Many acts may be good in the doers conscience, which yet are subject to the suspi∣cion and ill construction of others. In such cases, a man must aske this of himselfe, if all should take such liberty to himselfe, what would ensue of it? And this would checke his proceeding. The Iewes (as the writers tell us) had a strange way of contracting couples: to wit, for the better securing of the match, they permitted the use of copulation for once to the parties, and and no more till marriage, upon a great penalty: But finding great inconvenience to grow hereupon, (as no wonder it did) they forbad any such course of contract: and who so attempted it, if it were pro∣ved, he was scourged with rods openly, for reproach sake. So much for this second.

[Quest.] Now a third question ariseth upon this, that in our for∣mer discourse I have spoken of a lawfull contract:* 1.418 that is lawfully entred upon, betweene such as are within degrees permitted. So that, its asked here, whether cosen germans may marry? To which, this I say, that I observe of late time many more Divines to encline to the affirmative, then formerly have dome; and some of them, godly as well as learned: and not onely so, but (which I wonder at, see∣ing such novell and forbidden things, are too soone runne upon) that they do write for it, and have determined the

marriages of some in this way, contrary to the affections of some of the parties, bearing them downe by the judge∣ment, and giving occasion (probably) of snaring their con∣science after, when the crusted sore shall breake out again. But to the point. First, for my part, I should much rest in the generality of that charge, Levit. 18. 6. None of you shall approach to any that is neare of kinne to him, to uncover their nakednesse, I am the Lord. I demand what is meant here by kinne? Is not it to be meant both of such as are near in blood, and also affinity? And, is there not very great nearnesse in blood betweene the uncles son and the uncles daughter? Tremellius, as learned a Iew as most of our later Iewish writers, in his Diagram upon Levit. 18. at the end, is so bold as to take it for granted, That as its unlawfull to marry the uncle or the aunt, so the hee and shee cousin ger∣mans (cognatum & cogratam, saith he) and yet alledgeth no Text for it: as if he would have the matter taken for gran∣ted. And in the Annotation upon the 6. verse, he saith thus, Of thy kin] that is, of those who are specified hereafter, or which by Analogy of comparison with them are under∣stood. And, who are they? In the end of the Chapter hee tells us, in his first Corollary, The marriages of Collateralls (either by affinity or consanguinity) are forbidden to the fourth generation. Is not this plaine enough? And he ad∣deth, There was no use of it that the Holy Ghost should name them, the case is so cleare. I suppose the testimony of one such Iewish Textman as hee, should overweigh the opinion of many novell writers. But (say these men) if the Holy Ghost had beene against it, might he not have named it? I answer, yes, if he had thought good, out an argument from negatives prevailes not. Rather, the not naming it, strongly argues the thing out of question. The Text menti∣ons not the nakednesse of the daughter in lawes daughter, among the forbidden particulars: what then? may a father in law marry such an one? I thinke not. The second de∣gree is included in the first: viz. Not uncovering the daugh∣ter in lawes nakednesse. Yet here is nothing but affinity by marriage of the mother: and is it not as rationall that al∣though

though the uncle or aunts sonne and daughter are not na∣med, farre nearer of blood (though not in the descending line, but collaterall) then they, yet their nakednesse must not be uncovered, because the uncles and aunts may not? Tell me, if the wives brother or husbands sister had not beene named expresly, had it been a thing lawfull to meddle with them? I thinke not. If the uncle bee directly forbidden to marry his neece, or the aunt the nephew, shall not their children be forbidden to marry also, being but one degree lower? As touching the argument from negatives, it is so weake, that it is gone into a proverbe: and might not a thousand absurdities be as well proved by negation? Dare these men argue thus against a Sabbath of the eighth day, because it is no where translated expresly from the seventh to be the Christian Sabbath? Againe, what is more common through the Scripture, then for particulars not named, yet to be included in their generals? It was not expressed in the fourth Command, that a man might not gather stickes on the Sabbath day: yet because in generall God had charged that no dressing of meat, or bodily labour should be then done, but all be dressed and provided before, therefore the Lord commanded him to bee stoned by vertue of the ge∣nerall Commandement. And, are not these weake bottoms for men to warrant their owne, or other means marriages, because the contrary is not forbidden, when as that is for∣bidden, which is, if not further off, yet full as farre? It is ob∣jected, that many of the Patriarchs did thus marry, and are no whit impeached for it. I answer, if that be a reason, then let us marry our halfe sister, as Abraham did Sara; for so hee justifies himselfe to that Abimelech, yet in deed shee is my si∣ster, for shee is the daughter of my father by my mother in law.

Doe we not know how Terahs family after it came to Mesopotamia, and subsisted there, was farre divided from the other families of Shem? and therefore straitned much in their choice? Cursed Chams family they were expresly forbidden to marry in, as being the nation which God would root out, and give it the posterity of Abraham: where

then should they marry, but within their owne narrow fa∣mily? And wee may well thinke they did as well as then could be done, and made such a shift as they did: for even those they married were Idolaters, which was forbidden, if it could have beene shunned: but one necessity pardoned another: better Idolaters under no curse, then accursed Canaanites. If they had had larger breadth, had they so ven∣tured?* 1.419 But they much presse the example of Caleb his giving of Achsa his daughter to Othniel her coufin german. To which I answer, If it had beene as they say, yet it was not in coole blood, but upon a condition made in generall to any: but falling out as it did, it might have beene an exemp∣tion by an extraordinary occasion. But the thing was no∣thing so, for Othniel is called the sonne of Kenaz, by the same liberty of speech which calls Christs kinsmen his brethen. He was not the sonne of Kenaz, Calebs brother, but the son of his sons son: so Tremellius upon the place: Brother (saith he) that is, one descending from his brother, two or three Generations remooved. Each Grandchild, and each Ne∣phew or sonne of Nephew, is called a sonne by the phrase of the holy Ghost. But I list not here, to take off every ob∣jection. I returne. Put case I should grant them their desire, that because cozen germans are not named, therefore they are allowed, yet methinkes there be abundance of things which prudentially might move men to forbeare these mar∣riages. First, notwithstanding the long time that this Te∣net hath possessed the spirits of some men, yet we see, the blemish and crock of it is yet unwasht out, yea cleaves still and abides upon it. The mindes of men cannot yet put it on, as a garment fit for their back: still its a generally questio∣ned thing among the most, and even by such as are with much adoe urged to it by such as thinke they see further then all men, yet scarse is the doubt exempt of out them, but they stagger. I make not this an absolute reason, but a suspition and prejudice against it. And why should any man chuse rather endlessely to beat his braine to evince a thing of so doubtfull truth, then yeeld to the contrary practice, which no man can doubt of? Is it not wisdome to doe that which

is safest? Can faith and doubting stand together? And can that be done without sinne which is not done in faith, but wave∣ring? Surely the Plaister which men study to make for this sore, is far too narrow to cover it. Againe, the scruple being unremooved, what apudder doth it cause among Gods peo∣ple, especially what jealousie, strangement, and dislikes a∣mong the kindred? We should aime at all communion, not alienation. Besides, when God hath vouchsafed so great breadth and liberty, who should strengthen himself by mix∣ture of bloud, and (as Nicodemus saith) going into his mothers wombe, to be borne againe? Not to speake of that obser∣vation, that God hath not blessed it with such encrease, or in∣tegrity of affection. And its not (to conclude) among those things that are pure, and of good report.

And surely, if this be a great reason of unlawfulnesse of marriage betweene degrees forbidden, because thereby that naturall honour and awefull esteeme of parents, and consequently of such as are neere of kin unto them is imbes∣selled and violated (for what is more repugnant to respect and honour, then the familiarity of carnall commixtion) then I am sure the reason holds as well betweene cozen germans as others of kin: for nature hath put as due and chast a respect of honour betwene them, as betweene those who are namely forbidden in Leviticus. But the former is avowed by many writers, one whereof I produce, Augustin his speech de Civit. Dei, book 13. cap. 16. I know not how it comes to passe, that there is a kind of naturall instinct in the modesty of man, (and that praiseworthy,) that to whom∣soever he oweth any shamefast and chast honour, for kin∣dreds sake, from the same person he restraines any marriage affection, which even the chastity of marriage blusheth to violate.

[Quest. 3] But to proceed, here is another question, wherein doth a contract differ from marriage, since that the substance of matrimoniall union stands in the contract,* 1.420 what is there more in marriage it selfe? or what reasons are there for the dissolution of the one which are not for the other? [Answ.] I an∣swer. There is great oddes betwixt the strength of a con∣tract,

and the strength of compleat marriage.* 1.421 For the strength of the former stands forcible by the private con∣••ent of the parties: I meane this, that although God be in a contract, yet so, as the parties which consented, may also dissent, when they finde that consent did hinder the private good of their married estate. And so, when it appeares, that the one partie is unqualified for the other through many evills, that break by after intelligence, then they that made it may breake it. But marriage hath a strength by publique consent of the law, and the custome of men, and therefore its above all strength of private promises: and admits no dis∣solution by private consents: The union of contracted ones, is an union of imagination, or of affection, so long as its within such boundes: But the union of marriage, is an uni∣on of state and condition, standing in right, and law, above all private affection. If private contracts be broken off (as they ought not without consent) there is private satisfaction given to the parties: but if marriage be broken off, there is publique scandall given beyond all satisfaction. The re∣gard wherof tieth the hands of married ones behind them from all liberty of consent to dissolve the knot: because as it concernes the body of the state to see sinne punished, so to see good established, when it may be so. For in Moses his time,* 1.422 the hardnesse of mens hearts was so great, that they would be curbed by no law, each mans will was his law. But now law having got the upper hand, mens wills must submit: because better it is that one couple suffer, then the law, which is the bond of publique peace and welfare. So that this authortie looks not at mens private contents, or discontents: But makes a voluntary consent, which might have beene broken, to become necessary, and irrevocable: And whereas its instanced (as before) in the point of com∣parison of incontinency committed before marriage, (not knowne till after) with that in marriage. I say, I deny not but formerly and really both ought to dissolve it by the word, yet (as before I noted) the wisedome of the Church, putting difference, is to be regarded: neither is the sinne (in every degree) so extensive. In this case therefore,

that speech availes.: Better admit a mischiefe, then an in∣convenience. Better pull downe a smoking chimney, then admit a continuall smoake in the eyes: so, better endure a bad marriage (which is the lesser) then a breach of law and right, which is the bond of the whole body. Besides, before marriage, the deserting of the one party, inferres a liberty to desert another: the forfeit of the time alotted to marriage, by the errour of the one party, may forfeit marri∣age, it selfe, in the will of the other. Such a portion promi∣sed by parents in fraud, and after withdrawne injuriously, dissolves the marriage because its such a fault asopposeth the condition of the first consent. The like I may say of any the like violations, which yet, after marriage it selfe hold not.

But let me not be mistaken in what I have said: I would not be thought to make promises of no value, because I make marriage of greatest strength and vertue. For, although we have a rule, that is, in the same power to breake a law, that first made it: yet it holds not in contracts, without speciall warrant. Not each pretended suddaine impotencie of body, not each suborned infamous slander of the parties, or either of them, not every devised flim-flam of a giddy braine must be accepted to make a spouse breach: (for what were this, but to open a wide doore to all basenesse, and to expose the lawes of God and man to open contempt and mockery?) But such cases as I have mentioned, if they can be sufficiently approved to those who are the witnesses of the contract, so that all doubt of treachery and falshood be taken away, then its free for the contracted parties to desist if they will. Howbeit, not without mutuall consent neither: For put case that one of the parties pretend debi∣lity of body, yet the other party knowing her selfe to be in a way of God, and to be bound to trust God in his way, ei∣ther for the recovery of strength to the weake partie, or for strength to waite upon God in the way of disappointment: shall refuse to release the other: then I affime that other partie is tied still by vertue of the contract, to marry. Gods weaknesse is stronger then mans strength as the Apostle speakes. And whereas (commonly) rationalnesse and wise∣dome

of the flesh doth step in here (for Selfe ever crosses God) and shall either out of disdaine, selfe-love, feare, or other sinister respects, say: If hee will needs break off, let him: if she will needs break, let her. As good doe so, as pro∣ceed with discontent. And it shall be well seene, I scorne him as much as hee scornes mee. I answer: No, these are base trickes to shake off Gods way: let that prevaile. But if the unruly party will depart, the innocent is discharged to marry another.

[Quest.] I goe on.* 1.423 Another Quaere may be, Why is there a space or distance usually appointed between the contract and the marriage? [Answ.] I answer: It is fit to bee so, for this end among others, that the parties might seriously and solidly, both a∣part and together, weigh and consider, what the businesse is, which they are entring upon: For being now contracted, and setled in their affections, from starting each from other, what remaines, but that both conspire to this end, that their knot may be as truly vertuous as it is necessary: and that the necessity of it may not prove tedious for lacke of vertue and Religion? If grace knit the knot, then they shall bee as unwilling to be broken off, as the band of marriage makes them knit so, as they cannot: when the strength of the band strives with the sweetnesse, how delightfull is it? And that it may be so, both the parties should endevour, as in the last use I shall presse more fully. The space alotted them is not to prepare for fine cloathes, to bid guests, to provide good cheere, nor (I speake to the meaner sort) to set themselves to seeke the best advantage of money at their offerings, to hire for themselves a hole to thrnst their heads in: or a farme to occupy. All these things (in a moderate way) are usefull; But God is the God of sea and land, and all abundance and store is in his hand; his are farmes and dwellings, and sheep and cattell, and the treasures of the earth; hee can give to whom hee will: and as Iob sayth, although thy beginnings are but small, yet hee can make thy increase great in due time. Make thou no more haste then good speed: Seeke the Kingdome of God, and the righteousnesse of the same, and make it not thy solemne care to plod upon great matters, or

to enter upon marriage with a feare of poverty, that thou and thine shall prove beggars. Plod both of you how this so∣lemne estate may finde you well prepared; and for other things cast your care upon him who careth for you; and in well doing, and meanes using, commit your selves into the hands of a faithfull Creator. This worke would be done e∣ven in the threshold of marriage.

[Quest.] But a question here still ariseth, What space is most con∣venient for contracted ones to abide so untill marriage?* 1.424 [Answer.] I answer, Neither so large and long a space as might exceed and shatter those affections which have been setled, so that the parties should now stagger in their stedfastnesse towards each other, and wax weary through the prolonging of time: Nor yet (on the other side) so short, as should hinder their serious addressing towards marriage. Both extreames are to be avoyded. For the first, we know in reason and expe∣rience, that when a contract loses her ends, through over∣long protraction of time, it taxes the doers for their hasty attempting of that which might have better delayed: occa∣sions are given thereby to take offence each at either, that they should seeme formerly to make sure of that which late∣ward they seeme but indifferent unto. Hence may grow se∣cret pritches and surmises of heart, tending to breach and division; and so worse may follow, that the one waxing looser toward the other then he to them, there may seeme to be wrong received; and so the wronged party hearkning to bad counsell, and consorting with company of ill note, may grow to some new league, not only out of an unclean, but even a revenging disposition, thereby procuring e∣strangement of heart, and irreconciliable difference. Now what a base and absured abuse of the ordinance is here? how easily might wisedome have prevented all, in removing oc∣casion of danger? On the other side, when the time is too short, marriage rushing rudely upon the Contract in an in∣stant, it defaceth the characters of instruction, which should have taken deeper impression, and so crosseth the end of a contract as much (in another kinde) as the former: taxing also the discretion of the party so hastening, in that hee ei∣ther

d••d no sooner move a contract, or in that he moved it at all: For if there bee no difference betweene a present promise, and a promise shortly to bee performed, to what end is contract, when onely marriage would serve? So that a middle space is best: The Iewes at the first aimed in their contract at the striking up and securing themselves of the marriages; and after, tooke large liberty of a yeare, or halfe a yeare, for the consummation. But after, they found they lost as much in the Hundred as they got in the Shire, and that hereby they endured great inconveniences, many moe things falling out between, when the cup and lip are so farre asunder: and so, amending their error, they grew to pitch a shorter time. So that it must be the discretion of a man which must herein moderate it: I would think a mat∣ter of a weeke or ten dayes a compleat space; but because occasions may so fall out by absence and travell, that there is more present use of the contract, then of the marriage, and that for setling of mindes: and sometimes when speed is intended, yet delayes fall out, therefore the due ends of Contract and Marriage being observed, and good considera∣tions agreed upon by parties (who best know what should let them, and what should further them) it is to bee left to providence what space is most agreeable. So much for this.

[Quest.] Another question by occasion hereof, may bee moved: What if either of the parties defile themselves by inconti∣nencie before marriage?* 1.425 I answer, There need no doubt be made what is such a case ought to be done: for no doubt the contract ought to be broken off. By the Law of God, it was death both to the defiler and defiled. [Answ.] This is not a place to determine whether that Law bee positive or perpetuall: But I should count him a greater foole then that Levite, who in such a case should not breake off his marriage, as wee see in Josephs case of error about Mary, before hee knew the truth. But if it be demanded, What if this treachery bee not knowne ere marriage perfected? I answer, I ••now the judgement of Canonists, and Popish Casuists is one, and Divines another. As touching the practice of our Church.

its no doubt grounded upon better and wiser principles: not onely because marriage came betweene the act and the accusation, and so seemes to disanull it (for who knowes not, that the root of it was errour?) But to make the ordi∣nance of marriage more solemne, and to teach people not easily to admit of seperations, which I thinke is the cause, why Divorces being once admitted, the guiltlesse party is prohibited the remedy of a second marriage; which being allowed by the Scripture, would not else be forbidden now, were it not for the honour of marriage, and the opposition to Iewish abuse (who used Divorces frequently) lest every loose, idle person, having the liberty of a second marriage, should rush upon the pikes of Divorce. And so (in charity) its to be judged in the case of uncleannesse committed be∣tweene a Contract and marriage, that seperation is cut off, not as if it were not according to the desert of the offender (for it must have bin so among the Iewes, as Moses expresly speakes in that case, when the markes of virginity could not be produced) but for the safeguarding, and solemne esteeme of marriage, which oftentimes ought not to have bin, but being done, prevailes; the honour of an ordinance, being esteemed above the content of this, or that married person? This I thought good to say of his Question. As for more, its not now my purpose: and, as for Divorces, I hope I shall easily be pardoned, if I say not any thing: its already suffi∣ciently treated of: and, I being here onely to speake of an honourable Marriage, it would be as death in the pot, if I should here come in with that, which of all other things is the most absolute opposite and dishonour unto it.

[Vse. 1] I chuse rather to end all with some short Vse. And first, if Contracts be so usefull:* 1.426 this is reproofe to all such as deride and vilifie this so ancient, so usefull an Ordinance or pra∣ctise of the Church: and thinke it scrupulous, and superflu∣ous. Tush, say they, what a waste is here of words? must we first marry in the Lord, then aptly, and then be taught at our Contract, and then consider of the weight thereof? here's precisenesse indeed; doe not others as well without it; I warrant you, if once married, you will be sure enough with∣out

this adoe! Somewhat like Christs Disciples, If this be the case betweene husband and wife, its better not to med∣dle at all. So say these, I had rather live single, then make such a stire! But I answer these two wayes: first, as Christ answered them, No, saith he: Its not better not to marry at all: If any man can abstaine upon the gift of chastity, let him: but all cannot. So say, I, if it be so easie to take up a single life, you may: it were best, no doubt; provided that you meane a single one, and a chaste one also: for otherwise if you meane (as Papists tell their Priests, better a life of un∣cleannesse, then marriage) it were more desirable to live an unchaste, single life, then to make such adoe, ere you mar∣ry, I should greatly pity, but rather sharpely taxe you for your labour. For (to come to my second answer:) Tell me I pray you, what thinke you of Marriage? Is it a life of loosenesse, and of the flesh? else why are you so loth to be well fitted ere you enter it? Surely, you must know, that Marriage is rather a curbe to the flesh, and a bridle serving to restraine the loosenesse thereof. And, doe you affect car∣nall liberty in a condition of restraint thereof? No, no: ra∣ther, if by any meanes, you might compasse a cheerefull and contentfull marriage, thou shouldest be gland to take the pains for it, and roll every stone under which such happinesse might lye, and well too: what is a little paines for a perpe∣tuall good, and to shun a constant misery? As Naamans ser∣vants told him, If so be the Prophet had enjoyned thee some great thing, shouldst thou not have done it, much more to wash and be cleane? So, I say, if the service were farre greater, wouldst thou not admit that, when the scope is, Mar∣ry and bee happy? Oh, but is it enough (say these) that we be precise in worship, and religion, and in our consci∣ence to God, but we must be so strict in marriage? So strict: how strict? wouldst thou not take as much paines for a pur∣chase? Nay, for a good Horse, or a good Hawke? wouldest thou presume both were good enough, if price enough were set upon their heads? No sure, but the rather thou wouldest looke to thy bargaine. So doe here: thinke not a wife un∣questionable because of her price: enquire of her true value;

when thou art married, and art stung with his or her un∣quietnesse, unfaithfulnesse, uncleannes, oh then! what in∣junction should be put upon thee, which thou wouldst not yeeld unto, to be eased of such a burden, in a right way? But I cannot promise thee thou shalt prevaile then, so well as thou maist prevent it now. Doe as some Gentlewomen doe, they will take no maids to traine, they will have them trained to their hand, or else none. What will not a foole doe out of season to shunne sorrow, when he hath smarted, but in season, that he might not smart he will not stirre a joynt, nor wet his finger? To verifie that of Salomon. To the foole God gives toile and vexation for his portion, be∣cause he wil not be wise for his own ease. But I have before purposely handled this point, I willl trench no more upon it: So much for this use of reproofe.

A second use then,* 1.427 (to finish all) is exhortation to con∣tracted couples to prise their contract for the use of it.* 1.428 I shall not need to joy them of it, that now they have their desires accomplished, (that will come alone) but, let it be their care, to sactife themselves and their marriage, for time to come. It was the custome of the Church of the old Testament, to offer sacrifices to God upon solemn occasi∣ons, as upon solemne meetings of the family:* 1.429 when warres were attempted,* 1.430 upon any speciall service of God to be per∣formed, as fasting, thanksgiving, Sabbaths, circumcision of the children, recoveries from sicknesse, enjoying of any blessing, Hezekia and Jonah deliverd, offered sacrifices, made songs and vowes: Marriage therefore, being a speciall change of estate, such as befalls once in the life, should have no lesse solemne preparation, for entrance into it. The en∣try of yong ones into this condition, cannot but amase the thoughts, and possesse the spirits and powers of the soule, more then ordinarily; striking jealousie into them, least their succes should not answer their expectation, and they should not be happy in each other. So that upon whom should all this care and burden be cast, save Iehova: who hath said to married ones as well as others. In nothing take thought, but in all things commending your selves to God, by prayer and

and, cast your care upon him, for he careth for you: Let this be your care, even the promise of God. Yea in the verse immediately following this text of Marriage, the A∣postle meets with this corruptions in couples,* 1.431 let not your conversation be in covetousnesse, for he hath said, I will not faile thee, nor forsake thee. It is no easie thing to stirre up a dead heart, to reflect meditations of our future estate: take this time therefore, now the thoughts and passions of of the soule are up in armes, now the iron is hot, strike some impression of God, faith in his alsufficiency and providence, into your selves. And as the Lord of the Mannor, at each alienation, comes in for his herriot, so now, at this your change, pay God his fine, the best jewell of all you have, devote your selves, give up your soules to him with mutuall consent:* 1.432 rest not in the praiers of others, but set close your selves, to the Lord in your own supplications both apart, and together without seperation. Astronomers call the twelve days of the Nativity Criticall, for the twelve moneths of the whole yeare; the daies of your entry upon marriage should be even such; for looke how the constitution and frame of them is, so may you expect the time of your marriage will be, either for Gods use and the honor of your marriage, or for your owne ends. Vnblest entrances have naughty successes.

Recognize with your selves, what the solemne opinion and hope is, which the Lord, his Church, and your selves, have conceived of you: Tremble to thinke how wofull a defeat it were to frustrate them, and your selves: Acknow∣ledge God to be the ordainer of this estate, looke what rules he hath directed you unto,* 1.433 for an happy life in this kinde, muse of them,* 1.434 set your hearts unto them, and let them sinke deeply into your hearts;* 1.435 take the Lord as a solemne witnes of your intents and purposes to walke by rule, as you looke for peace: And by strong resolutions bind your fickle hearts as with cords to the Altar, and pray God to set his seale to them, that they may prove as good silver in the performing as they seemed in the promising.

And more particularly,* 1.436 these two things I advise you un∣to: First, looke what especiall base distempers and lusts you

have found to sway in you, either formerly, or since your purpose of marriage, labour to purge them out, that you may not carry defiled bodies or spirits into the married estate. As Physitians at the end of a disease give their patient a clen∣sing potion, to expell all scurfe of bad humours remaining; so doe you: you are entring into a pure and honourable estate: honour it before, by burying all your Idols, and ca∣shiering your base lusts, that they crowd not in with you into the wicket of marriage: lest if you shall dare to carry an uncleane, froward, covetous, discontented and unsavoury heart with you into that estate, the Lord shall accurse you, and make them as Judas his sop unto you, to defile you for ever after. To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure every thing even the very minde and conscience are defiled. Secondly, look what feeble seeds of knowledge and grace were sowne before marriage, you ply and attend them care∣fully for time to come. Promise, yea secure the Lord be∣forehand, that no contentment of flesh, no humouring of each other, no reaching at commodity, shall so forestall you, that this worke of God should be forgotten by you; rather lay all sacrifices by the Altar, and renew your Covenant, both Gods with you, and yours with him; tell the Lord thus, When my husband, my wife first met me, I was very busie in grounding my selfe in the principles of knowledge, the sight of sinne to humble me, the truth of the promise to cast me out of my selfe, upon the armes of mercy. I was oc∣cupied about the doctrine and use of reg••neration, union, and the new creature; now, let not this marriage of mine deface these faire beginnings; it is appointed for good, let us therfore meet for the better, not the worse. Take me on fur∣ther (Lord) as the child takes forth his lesson, let the sun of my light and grace not go back, but forward, ten degrees: in all my hearings, Sacraments, publique and private use of ordinances, growing in the truth, as it is in Iesus, that toge∣ther with judgement, sweet affections, & againe with tender affections, sound judgement may grow and increase in me.

And thus I have finished this point also of a Contract, be∣ing the second peece of my Digression from the point in∣tended,

to wit, the honour of marriage, both in the entrance of it, whereof I have spoken in the first three Chapters; and the continuance of it, whereof in the Chapter following shall be treated.

CHAP. VI.

Returne to the first Argument. The Honour of Marri∣age in the preserving of it, during the marriage life.

TO returne then whence we digressed: now it follow∣eth that we come to the second part of the Honour of Marriage:* 1.437 standing in the carefull improving thereof in the marriage conversation. It is the nature of honour to love attendance; and they who have found an honourable mar∣riage, must wait upon it, and keepe it so. And it is a true speech, That it is no lesse vertue to keepe a mans wealth, name, or honour, then to purchase them. Iob tells us, that God hath denyed wisedome to the Estrich to looke to her egges, to hatch them when she hath layd them: she forgets the worke of laying, and leaves them in the sand, for the feet of wilde beast to destroy them. The Apostle John willes that Lady and her children not to lose the good things they had gotten,* 1.438 but to get a full reward. It had beene better, that some had married with farre lesse shewes of goodnesse, and hope of thrift, except they had kept it better: For there is nothing so miserable as to have beene happy. The praise of that good woman in the Proverbs, is not, that she was vertuous before entrance;* 1.439 no, it was her proofe and practice which made her honoured, and her husband in her. Many great Captaines have got a sudden crown upon u••eir heads: but they have died with a bare title, and lost it with more shame, then the glory came too which they got it by. Its not sayd, that Zachary and Elizabeth were worthy couples in their entrance; but both in their married course, walked with God. Paul doth not onely teach married ones to bee married in the Lord, and no more; but how to live together

and maintaine conjugall affection, and to keepe that knot, by subjection, compassion, tendernesse, and faithfullnesse: Rest not in this, (as some Scholers doe) that their names are up, and then fall to idlenesse, and prove dunces: So ma∣ny couples are like the Image made of gold in the head, silver in the breast, but worse and worse downeward. They would have their marriage beare up it selfe, whereas that is, as she is used: if she be not cautiously observed, she will take a tetch, depart, and carry her honour away, some hus∣bands and wives, through the slighting of religion, as think∣ing it needles to acquaint themselves with God, (as Job saith) in all their complaints, wants, and distempers; others by loosenesse of heart in company, whereof they make but small choice; others pampering themselves with ease and wan∣tonnesse, lying open and naked to a unsuspected enemy: soone blast that honour of their marriage, which at the first they seemed not dishonourable to enter upon. And others have done the like, by improvidence, by needlesse meetings, gamings, or the like idle courses, others little observing each others temper, and so preventing many discontents: others also by presuming to find at the hands of another more res∣pect and affection: or expecting greater wealth and estate, then they found, grow to distates and debates; then to seek stollen waters, as weary of their owne cisternes: And ther∣upon growes a decay in their estates, discredit among such as esteemed well of them, poverty, and imprisonment, sepe∣ration from each other. And, what is all this, save to cast their crowne into the dirt, and to prophane it wilfully? whereas, had they resigned up themselves and the successe of all their hopes to God, walking faithfully and keeping covenant both with him and themselves, humbled them∣selves and submitted painfully to their callings of magistracy ministery, or private life, without ambitious reatching at matters above them, they might have kept their crowne and garland fresh and green: yea surely had they set themselves to embrace those graces of God in each partie to winne love and amity betweene them, bearing with infirmities, and covering them with tendernesse: how flourishing had

their head and honour continued without fading, even to this day? But, it shall be enough in this place to touch only in the generall, upon the equall necessity and coherence of this second duty, with the former: for all such as would preserve their honour inviolable. That which I shall fur∣ther say hereof, may more seasonably come into the use of that discourse which shall ensue, after we have cleered the point it selfe; which because its large, and will cost consi∣deration,* 1.440 let us enter upon it.

It may then be demanded, wherein this art and skill consists, of saving this honour of marriage so unsteined? The answer is, it stands in two sorts of duties; whereof, the former sort, concernes both husband and wife jointly and undividedly to practice: The latter concernes each of them in severall, the husband apart, and the wife apart. Let us then begin with the former.

Those duties which concerne bothe equaly are foure.* 1.441 First, Iointnesse in religion; mutuall love; like loyall chastity: and sutable consent. Touching the first of religion: my meaning is, that, as they are entred already with a religious spirit, into their marriage, so they must continue: not only to be religious stil, but to cleave mutually together in the pract∣ise of all such meanes of worship, and duties of both tables, as concerne them; I say, in the parts of religious conversation to God. More plainely, first that they be joint in the worship of God publiquely, both ordinarily upon the Sabbath (and occasionall at other times and seasons) as also extraordinary: The word must be heard by both jointly, Sacraments mutu∣ally received, prayers frequented, and all the worship at∣tended. Secondly family duties, concerning both them∣selves and their children and servants, as reading of the Scriptures, conferring of them, prayer and thanksgiving: exercising those, whom God hath committed to their care, in the principles of Godlinesse,* 1.442 and the severall duties of inferiors: The husband being the voice of God when they are both together; touching which, more shall be said in the severall offices belonging to the husband. If he be ab∣sent, and there be no man of better sufficiency to present

whom both of them allow of, then ought the wife to dis∣charge the duty, as hereafter shall appeare. Thirdly, and more especially those severall duties of worship, which in private and apart from the other family do concerne them: which although they ought to performe alone also, yet not alwaies, but jointly and mutually: as to conferre, read, pray, confesse, and give thanks. Fourthly, they must be joint, in the duties of charity to the poore, harberousnes to strangers, reliefe of other both publique causes and private persons, whom by occasion, God offereth to their regard. Fifthly, that mutuall harmony in all religious relations, both towards themselves, as instruction, reproofe, advice, admonition, or encouragement; or else others, in the Communion of Saints, (of which reade more at large in my Catechisme, Part 2. Artic. 4.) or else in their generall, and exemplary conver∣sation, in the sight of the world, which, when it is mutuall, is resembled in the glasse of each others practice, but if not, then looses her beauty as we see in the opposition which the holy Ghost makes betweene Abigail and Nabal in that point.* 1.443

E're I answer any questions about this, I must ground and prove it by reasons and Scripture. For the latter, it needs not many proofes. That, of these two worthies Luc. 1. 6. may be sufficient, of Zachary and Elizabeth, that, both were upright before God, in all the Commandements and ordinances of the Lord, without reproofe. In which sen∣tence, most of those 5. particulers named before, are touched. That of the Apostle may be added, that they defraud not each other, except in the case of fasting, least (saith he) your praiers be hindred: that is your joint communion in religious wor∣ship. Now, if there must be such an entercourse in extraor∣dinary duties, how much more in ordinary? But its object∣ed, that Zachary cap. 12. bids them in their deepe humilia∣tions, to be apart; this seemes to contradict jointnes. I answer. The phrase is not to be exclusively taken, that they should alway be apart; for the Prophets scope in the words, is, that there be singular uprightnesse in their humi∣liations, for which cause he enjoines secrecy, because he

mournes truly who mournes without witnesse, but this ex∣cludes not jointnesse in other times and cases, because fer∣vency being as well required in them, as sincerity which is more stirred up by mutualnesse, it is meete they should bee mutuall in that respect, as apart in the other. So that, these two (as occasion differs) exclude not each other.

And there is speciall reason of this duty:* 1.444 For first, God is not now the God of them apart, as before, but jointly, as married: of them I say, and of their seed: and therefore now, [Reas. 1] God must be sought jointly by them both, not onely in severall,* 1.445 as in their former estate.

[ 2] Secondly, the good things which they receive from God though they pertaine to their severall happinesse, as their faith,* 1.446 hope, knowledge, yet they reach to the furtherance of each others grace; if they be bound then, to trade with the whole body of Communion, for the increace of grace, how much more one with another?

[ 3] Thirdly, whatsoever they enjoy, good or evill, in a man∣ner they enjoy it in common:* 1.447 Their sinnes are common: (God may punish the one in the other) their gifts and graces are common, (both blessed for the others sake) their infir∣mities are common, (each being a fellow feeler of the o∣ther) their blessings, as health, wealth, successe, are com∣mon: their calling and businesse common, tending to the common good of them and theirs: their crosses common, yea their punishments, their posterity, their dwelling, their friends are common: Shall their God then bee severall? Shall their religion and worship bee disjointed? No, sure: mutuall wants and needs, must unite and reconcile them to one God with common consent

[ 4] Fourthly, Religion is the golden Cement of all fellow∣ships, and unions, both to knit, and to sanctifie the same more firmely and closely together.* 1.448 That union, which is not thus fastened, is but as the union of those foxes, backward, by firebrands in their tailes, soone dissolved, and very hurt∣full. The Iewes have a pretty observation upon the Ebrew name of the woman, the first and last letters whereof make up the name Iah, God: which if they be taken from the

middle letters, leave all in a combustion, for they signifie fire. If God inclose not marriage both before and after, and be not in the middest of it, by this band of religious feare; marriage is nothing save a fire: a contentious and an un∣peaceable condition: But this consent of both in the Lord, is the most firme and blessed of all. Those tearmes are ever strongest and best agreed, which agree in the best third, or couple. Now the Lord is the best, and the safest band. What a sweet glasse is it for husband and wife to see each others face, yea heart in, to be acquainted with each others graces, or wants, to be assured of each others love and loiall affection, then to looke how they stand affected to the band of their union, I meane fellowship in religion, faith, hope, and the fruits.

[ 5] Fifthly, let us examine this truth, but onely in one prime and chiefe act of religion,* 1.449 and that is faith in the alsuffici∣encie of providence: and that will teach us the rest. What is the married estate, save a very stage of wordly care to act her part? Single persons never come to understand what care meanes, till marriage come. Thats the black oxe which treades heard upon them. How shall this tread be borne, ex∣cept faith in the promise act another part, of holy careles¦nesse (I meane in point of carking?) Surely, as the fashion of some countries is to hang up a care-cloth in the Bride∣chamber, to coole the heat of other affections in the mar∣ried, and to put them in mind what an estate they are en∣tring upon; so, well may this cloth of care ever hang in their chamber, except faith take it downe and fasten their care upon him that careth for them, cutting off all superflous carking. Now this grace belongs jointly to both of them: not only to the husband, who followes the world hard to please his wife; but also to the wife, who (as the Apostle saith) is as ready to please him. What a gulfe of care doe both implunge themselves into, except the Lord vouchafe them his antidote? What craft, trickes, coosenages, d••∣ceits will they not find out, to scrape and rake together, all being fish that comes into their net? What clamors, dis∣contents, and brawles will arise, if defeated of their wills?

What basenesse will utter it selfe, upon any other expences, then expected? But let the Lord be their portion, rocke, and defence, and what can distract them: How sweetly will both draw in this yoake, if, as they have made God the God of the hilles, so they can make him of the vallies, I meane, the God of their bodies as well as their soules? Now, if this one joint gift do so runne through all their life, what will joint consent in all graces do, as hope of salvation, fitnesse to die, mercy and compassion, love, feare, meeknesse, and the rest? All which in their kind, under faith, serve to furnish the married condition with contentment and welfare.

Sixtly and lastly,* 1.450 what can so assuredly bring in blessing to the bodies, soules, posterity, families, and attempts of each other, as jointnesse of religion? when both are agreed of their verduict, and one buildes up as fast as the other? when no sooner the one enterprises any thing, but the other joines in a commending it to God, for blessing. They not daring to goe to worke in an unblest way, without God. That no sooner they spie an infirmity, much more a corruption in each other, but they reserve it for matter of humiliation, a∣gainst next time: No sooner they meet with a mercy, but they make it matter of thanks, keeping the Alter ever burn∣ing with this fewell and Sacrifice: What a sweet deriva∣tion is this to both, of pardon and blessing? What a war∣rant is it unto them both, that each shall share in all good, when as both doe equally need it, so each seeke it of God? When God is made both of Court and Counsell, privy to all doubts, feares and wants of both, what can so assure them of an happy condition, when censuring, condemning, or quarreling each with other, is turned into a mutuall melting in Gods bosome, for the greefs and complaints of one ano∣ther: when in Christ their Advocate they sanctifie all to themselves and make all things pure to them, bed, board, love, crosses, mercies, which else to others are uncleane, and defiled. This for Reasons.

[Quest.] A question here offers it selfe, if the grace of the married must be joint, what is to be said when the husband will not concurre with the wife, or she with him, in such duties of

piety or mercy, as doe mutually concerne them? Must she then desist, for lacke of jointnesse? I answer: The question were much harder,* 1.451 if it were made of such an husband, as not onely doth not concurre actually with the wife, but is contrarily minded unto her. I will therefore frame the an∣swer to both cases: I say then that the wife may supply the defect of his non-concurrence with her, in these acts of re∣ligion, or charity. For why? his defect of joining, although it may hinder the grace of the duty, yet it must not hinder the essence of performance: better is it, that God be served, in prayer, in teaching the family, training the children; that the poore be relieved, and good done, as it may be, then not at all: Not onely because the defect may possibly pro∣ceed in the man rather from impotency, and weakenesse: in which respect, the wife making supply (especially being eminently better fitted then other women are) doth as it were, obtaine acceptance of both, as if both could joine, and the husband could bee the mouth of the woman to God. This being provided, that her gifts consist in an humble mo∣desty, as in other sufficiency. But besides also, though the husband be opposite to good himselfe, yet if he connive at good in her, she must not under any pretext, detract the du∣ty from God, by his lewdnesse, and incurre double wrath from God. Nay I adde further, although he be actually op∣posite, that is forbid it to be done, yet as the case may re∣quire, through necessity of present miseries, she is bound to step out from her ordinary course, as Abigail did in Nabals desperate abandoning of Davids servants. But I wish the Reader to suspend his thoughts awhile, till I shall finde fit∣ter occasion to treate of this answer: which will be after∣ward, partly in the dutie of the husbands understanding, partly of the wives subjection. Here therefore I doe but touch it.

[Vse. 1] I proceed to the use,* 1.452 as I began. And that is, first Reproof of a foolish contrariety of couples in this kinde.* 1.453 They will be religious in marriage, but how? Forsooth as they were before: they will goe apart by themselves, and severally; but, this jointnesse of worship, they abhorre, as too strict

and needlesse: They will grant that they must read, pray, conferre, but it must be as formerly, either apart, or with other company; but as for imparting themselves to each o∣ther, they are loth to utter their ignorance, barrennesse, un∣groundednesse in the principles, or their spirituall forget∣fulnesse, unthankfulnesse, lukewarmenesse, especially the defect in marriage duties each to other. These they are a∣shamed to make each other privy to. God onely is (they thinke) meetest to be acquainted with them: Why? are you such strangers? Were you not as able before marriage, as now, to doe this? Are you now in no deeper relations, then before? Then you could not, but now you may doe o∣therwise, and will you not doe it? I cannot better describe the folly hereof, then by the fondnesse of such wives, as when they speake to their husbands, they call them by their names, or place, Master such a one, or John, Richard, &c. so, as any other might call them, as well as they, or as they might call them, before marriage. Surely the name of your relation, husband, or wife, I thinke, were fitter for them then common names. The like I say here, such a religion (I trow) were fitter for you, as might best agree with your neere union; and not such as any unmarried person may enjoy. Woe to him, that is alone saith Ecclesiastes, for, if he fall who shall helpe him? And, to one, how should there be heate? (he meanes of generation) But, two are better then one: how doth this agree with the course of such? They are alone even when they are two: and they are two (divided) when they should be as one. Surely if they should claime power in severall over their owne bodies, or power to have a severall purse, or a stocke going apart, it were lesse sinfull, then thus to nourish a worship of God, wholy apart from each other. May any so fitly joine in mutuall confession or thanks as they, who have but one God, and can (as one soule in two bodies) fellow-feele, and com∣passionate each others case as his owne? Is there any rent so bad, as in semelesse coate? What can this division sa∣vor of, but pride, singularity, selflove? Or how would the devill desire to rule, rather then by this seperation? I aske,

dost thou hold the body, or the body thee? And, whom hur∣test thou herein, save thine own body and soule, by refuseing such a succor? Wouldest thou not think it an unkindnesse in the heart and liver, if it would keep in all spirits and bloud within themselves, and transmit none to the parts? Must it not threaten (as he said once) putrifaction and obstructi∣on to themselves, and ruine to the whole? So much for this first.

Secondly,* 1.454 this reproves all such couples, as are rather backbyases each to others in the matters of God,* 1.455 then hel∣pers either in ordinances, or duties. Such as, when family duties are called for, either by husbands, or wives, then they lay loggs in each others way, then of all other times, their businesse sticks to their fingers, then they have most irons in the fire to attend, errands abroad, or children within, to runne upon, to dresse: If private duties be occasioned, much more awek and untowards they are: If any duty of com∣passion, and mercy offer it selfe, visiting the sicke, counsel∣ling of the distressed, helping of the needy, come in their way, they lowre, and crosse it, disnay each other from it. Nay, and yet professe to be religious neverthelesse. Oh wo∣full ones! Is this your consent? Doe you thus honour your marriage? Did you enter it with some opinion of religion, and doe you thus promote it? Is it not a sweet nosegay for you to smell to, to heare your husbands alledgings, this duty, Sabbath, Sacrament, Fast, had beene done, sanctified, en∣joyed, hadst not thou hindred? Take heed, God will not be mocked! If this be done by the religious, what shall the ir∣religious doe? If this be done in the greene tree, what shall be done in the dry?

Thirdly,* 1.456 it reproves all such as basely rest in the religion of each other,* 1.457 though themselves looke after none. Many wo∣men good for not hing but for drudgery, yet have a conceit husbands praiers, their zeale and holines shal serve their turn, and under that rotten ragge, they shroud themselves. No, no, this plaister is too narrow for the sore: If each party will fare the better for other, both must combine, both must pray, fast, sanctify their blessings and crosses, wives must not plod for

their childrens backes and bellies, leaving the care of their soules and good government to their husbands. What is this, but to be a true slave, but an unfaithfull wife? Rather say thus, husband, I have a part a part in them, as well as thou, sure I am, they have received as much of old Adam from me, as thee: Oh, that I had as carefull a spirit to traine them up, as thou. So in other parts of duty, rest not either of you in others religion, being barren your selves, for each tub shall stand on his owne bottome. The goodnesse of one shall not be imputed to other; but the soule that sinneth shall die. Take heed lest it be verified, two shall be in one bed, the one taken, the other refused! As God hath made you for mar∣riage to bee one flesh, so see that by grace you bee one spirit.

Fourthly, to these may be added the preposterousnesse of such couples,* 1.458 as are then safest, when as they forsaking their bosome fellowship, runne into the company of strangers, to converse with: to them they impart their marriage discon∣tents, crave counsell, advise from them, betraying (by their practice) their husbands to base report; all, and more then all their griefes they powre into strange bosomes, refusing their owne, who are much better then themselves, and then its best done, when most privily, and furthest from their husbands notice: But they may never heare of any thing from them, except with up brading and discontent: They must either heare of it from strangers, or not at all. Oh, how many of these housewives have deceived both Minister, friends, and husbands by their subtilty? till afterward their sinne betray them, what mettall and stampe they are of! The truth is, their love is unfound, their hearts turbulent, their tongues querulous and clamorous: But, if their husbands be taken from them, and their eiesores remooved, then religi∣ous persons, and the Minister shall no more heare of them; their hearts are upon new liberties, all their gronings are vanisht, and the next husband (though lesse religious then the former) pleaseth them better. Oh wofull hypocrites, thus to colour over a rotten heart, with religious complaints! God shall meet with you, in your kinde, and make your

selves at last your owne judges, when his plagues ceaze up∣on you! repent beforehand, and prevent them, if you bee wise. Your sinne is hereby worse then others, who perhaps of me ere ignorance neglect this duty, being otherwise ho∣nest: To whom I give this caveat, let your sinne this day come to your remembrance, amend it, and the good Lord regard not, but passe by your former errors upon your Re∣pentance.

[Vse 2] As for those couples who are both agreed in their grace∣lesse contempt of this duty, as they also are in all ordinary worship of God, they belong not to this place, I have be∣fore spoken to such in the point of unequall matches; They (of all others) are furthest off, let them prepare to make answer to their Iudge, who being commanded to honour their marriage with mutuall religion, dare mock God thus. Indeed in one sense it may be said, they are equally religious, for the one hath as much as the other, neither barrell better herring, for both are profane, and as they entred so they continue. Well, God could have promoted you to some honour: but your selves have chosen shame, he hath powred contempt upon you, thanke your selves

[Vse. 3] Thirdly, this teacheth us the true cause, why so many couples leade a sad comfortlesse life:* 1.459 some cry out, they can have no peace one with another; others, that they thrive not, cannot be well reported of, or, their children disquiet them: God is against them, nothing prospers: Alas! what wonder! God is the last end of your though, he is not set up in your married estate! he is thrust out into the backe roome; who yet should be all in all, chiefe in your soules, prayers, family, worship, hee is nothing at all, and is it strange nothing goes forward? How should it? Surely if it should (as perhaps some as bad as you thrive) I should thinke he meant to destroy you! But now, since he sends this Bayliffe to arrest you, and filles you with adversity, I hope it is to bring you to a parlee (as Absalom in burning Jacobs barely) to provoke and stirre you up to lay hold upon him, in due season! Bethinke your selves, set him up better, honour him, and he will honour you, but if you dishonour

him, he will (as Samuel told Eli) lightly esteeme of you: Prevent it in time, eare he come upon you worse; he hath hitherto beene onely as a mothe, and destroied your beautie, but he can teare you in pieces as a Lion, if you looke not to it! picke out the secret canker out of this apple, else it will consume all: And this I adde, although you should swimme in all welfare, and prolong your daies, if this be all your mourning, for corne and oyle, it shall be given you as a curse: if you see not Gods meaning, and honour not your marriage, by resigning up your Crowne, and casting it at Gods feet, depending upon him for blessing; you shall die dishono∣rablely, and live without comfort: its not all the wealth you have shall helpe you to joy, but rather as quailes shall all come out at your nostrills, and leave you desolate.

[Vse 4] Fourthly, let this be exhortation to all good couples, who feare God,* 1.460 to be joint in their religion together. And here give me leave to speake a word or two of some particular duties: and then of your generall converse. Touching the for∣mer, I would touch these two, the one touching family worship, outward, the other touching that grace mentioned in the fourth reason before, I meane faith in Gods provi∣dence, which is inward. I begin therefore with this. Con∣sider both of you, there is but need of it, in this your course of wordly dealing: most couples are met to encrease carking and distrust,* 1.461 as much raine to make a torrent. The Devill will so stuffe and fill them with carking and covetousnesse, their owne base hearts set upon the creature, will so inflame them, the error of the wicked will so pollute them through lust, by their cursed example, that many who met together in hope to become Saints, after they are met, proove little better then disguised heathen: Well might the Apostle joine the caveat of marriage here, with that of covetousnesse in the next verse: and marke his phrase, let not your conversation be in covetousnesse: the words are, roll not (as the doore upon her hinges) in the love of silver: his meaning is this, marriage is a rolling up and downe from one carnall busines to another: the calling, the looking to children, buying in, paying out, stocking the groundes, raising of commodity

thereupon, going out and in, and walking in a round of the world: nothing but scuffling and shuffling to get and scrape: except there be this gift of faith to season the heart in all this orbe and round: to settle it in the center of providence, to sweeten it with affiance in God. Alas, else, all the questi∣ons will be, how shall these chargabe servants be fed? how shall all these debts be paid? what losses are here in our cat∣tel? how poore are our takings in our shops? our trades are meane, our children are many, what shall we eate, wher∣with shall we be cloathed? Alas, little thought I at first en∣trance, that marriage had beene of this die, I thought all had beene white and faire: now I see corne, cattell, hus∣bandry, house wisery, all lies at the curtesie of mercy, the stocke is out, and except God blesse it, may never come in againe, except God give successe, good seasons of weather, crops will faile, rents will be unpaid, and we may die beg∣gers. What? did you think marriage was but a song, a sport, an hony moone, of one daies jollity? did you not consider, that its a perpetuall exercise of faith, for your selves, for your children, for your servants, and businesse? If you did not, then learne wisdome now: God hath set you in it, to try you, what mettall you are made of: whether it will make you disguised heathens, or gracious believers, who commend your selves and all to God, shutting up your selves in his Arke, that the floods of great waters overflow not. I tell you marriage is a stage for faith to act upon, to cast and ven∣ture all upon him, who will care for you, and promiseth to doe all your workes for you. Be therefore both of you just before God, walke in this command of faith, as well as any, yea this before any. Take no carking thought how children should be maintained, educated, portioned, mar∣ried. Doe not as one lately did: having one sonne borne, he vowed he would have no more, whatsoever came of it, for he meant to leave that child, all his estate, (judge by the way into what noisome snares a base heart brought him into) and he whould have no more, to be beggers. Would it be thought, this Divell of unbeliefe were so ranke? Why, marriage will make covetousnes a veniall sinne, (worse

then the Pope makes it) without faith.

Be resolved of it,* 1.462 faith must be your onely helpe, to stop you from drowning in this gulfe. Else no farme, or occu∣pying will be great enough: you would thinke all your life but a moment, for the satisfying of an insatiable spirit? So many irons at once in the fire, till one marre another, and overthrow all. Else, you will pick quarrels with your trades, and be ready to forsake them, as fast as you embrace them, and so wearie your selves with losses, till ruined. Else you will be so sordid, so pinching and base in your house keep∣ing, so subtile, false in your sellings, you will grow defrauders, oppressors, usurers, and cheaters, in your traffique and trades, so eager in your toile, so impatient of a defeate, so injurious and unmercifull not onely to your beasts, but even to your wives, selves, children, servants: so base in your works of charity, that both God and men loath and be weary of you. What patternes of such married ones,* 1.463 doth almost every towne afford? And when God frownes upon them, then they knaw their tongues for vex∣ation and wax as profane in the first Table, scorners of worship, and Sabbaths, as before unjust in the second. Ther∣fore, live by faith both husband without, and wife within, this is a joint worke of both: (of your severall duties I shall speake after) doth gaine come in, and wealth abound? Set not your heart upon it: be not giddie, wanton, sensuall: faith abhorres such behaviour, and settles the soule in a sober frame of thankfulnesse: doth God crosse you? Distrust him not, deject not your hearts, God is able to supply it. How else was David supported, when not onely city and wealth, but also wives were carried captives? surely by faith he com∣forted himselfe in God, and recovered all. Am I in debts? God will pay them: I came not into them by my sinne, but God brought me in, by providence: he therefore shall bring me out: Have I losses? God will restore them as to Job: Am I sicke in body? diseased, husband and wife each lying upon others hand, threatned by creditors, to goe to prison, fallen into the hand of a mercilesse Landlord? faith will cast you upon a mercifull God: and although the common pro∣verbe

is, faith will never buy corne nor clothes: yet do but improove it, and thou shalt finde, it will be like Salomons silver, and answer all things, buy all marquets: She serves a master who can mollifie the hearts of the cruellest enemy, will sooner suffer the Lyons to be hungerbit, then his poore shiftlesse Lambes to want: All the fishes in the sea are his, his are all the sheepe on a thousand hills, all the mines of red and white earth, all the mony in all men purses: All things are Christs, thou being his all things are thine, and shall be cast in as an overplus unto thee: Thou needest not say, husband, wife, we shall be destroyed one day by this poverty; therefore wee must fall to indirect courses, as o∣thers, to bring in the penny: No; let Atheists say thus, they who have a God to trust to, let them never dishonor him, by such doings: thereby making him their enemy, lest they be compelled to speake for somewhat. He that clothes the grasse of the field, and the lillies, which neither labour nor spinne, much more will doe for them that trust him; you serve no hard master, nor one, that needs your sinne to serve his providence. This faith must be Domina fac totum, she must doe all and suffer all, and carry all, she must be the stir∣ring housewife (or else in vaine doe others stirre) who can doe more with sitting still, then all others, though each finger were a thumbe: By her therefore and her daughter patience possesse your soules, and commend your selves to him, who will effect your desire. This for the former parti∣cular, for faith in the promise.

The other particular is outward,* 1.464 which is the joint ser∣ving of God in the family. Though both of you pray not, yet the one hold it up in the others absence, and set up God with both hands in your house: Let prayer, reading, and o∣ther worship hansell your dwelling and sanctifie it, at your first entrance, and afterward season and sweeten it, and all, both persons and things that belong to that: Let all goe under the banner and protection of God by it. It must be as the Temple morning and evening sacrifice, what else so ever you adde thereto, you may, but this must be constant. The holy Ghost loves to honour this Sacrifice through the

Scripture: Daniel would pray at the season of it, Eliah would offer his sacrifice at that time, and so the rest. And this Sacrifice made all the rest welcome, and blessed, There∣fore be joint in it; begin not zealously at first, and end in the flesh, which is the custome of most couples. Looke not asquint with an evill eye upon it, to cast your businesses so un∣happily, as to trench upon the season thereof: as if your hearts secretly grudged at God in it, and could scarse be∣teame it. Both of you be just before God in it: striving who should goe before the other in it: be no snare each to other not onely by your backwardnesse and murmuring at it, not so much as in your indifferency of spirit toward it: least you defile each other by it, and so you grow mannerly to put it off at first, and then by degrees by any trifling occasion to outweare it. Know it, that by the defacing of this, you out∣weare all blessing, and goe in the rowe of them of whom its said: poure out thy wrath upon the families which call not upon thy name. Be very serious to taske your selves to it, to presse each other not onely to a performing of it in generall, to say a few praiers, but to bee instant, fervent, and constant in it. The seasoning of your children, the awe and government of your servants depends upon it: and where its wanting, both prove ruinous, and brutish, besides the misery of the whole family condition. Vse all wisdome thou man, all prevention and earely care, thou woman, both without and within, that all busines and occasions may be set at a stay, and dispatcht, that this weighty affaire stand not let for them. Be sure that thy heart smite thee not oft in the day, when shrewd turnes befall thy children, thy house is in danger by casualty of fire, thy husband and thou quar∣rell, or any other sad accident happen; to say, these are, because we sought not God this day: therefore is this mis∣chance befallen me in my cattell, or in my travaile, or by a fall off my horse, or ill successe in my businesse, or the like. Let not the comming in of friends, strangers, break it off: sit not loose to it, least each toy unsettle it. Awe the family to it, both joine in the drawing of your inferiors to reverence it, least if forme and commones once breake in, the next

newes be, wearinesse, and so breaking it off. And with praier, let solemne calling of the children and servants to accompt be practised. If you can possibly let the morning rather then noonetide be your appointed season, lest necessary occasi∣ons deprive some, whom it concernes. Chuse it before meales, if it be possible: If the greatnesse of household hin∣der that, then take heed that drousinesse, slumber, and the Divell set not in their foote to marre all, which for the most part is the canker of most family duties: which through custome is made nothing of, till it have cast out duty it selfe upon the dunghill. I shall speake more of the mans duty in speciall, afterward: this now I thought good to premise in generall.* 1.465 And this of these two particulars, of the joint duty of couples be said. Now I come to the generall exhortation, and so finish the Chapter.

Let it be therefore exhortation to all good couples,* 1.466 to be mutuall in all religious duties, ordinances, and service of God. This will strengthen the wheele of marriage life, as the strong spoakes in the cart wheele, strengthen it, from crac∣king, and splitting. Live not like strangers to God: for so shall you never be inward with each other: your life will waxe common and fulsome, past and spent out in a shaddow and vanity, yea vexation of spirit: and at your death, you shall say, alas we never knew one another truely. I dare not snare you for settnesse of Canonicall houres, or for oftnesse of duty: I leave that to your owne experience, who should best know each others wants, or at least your owne to draw you to it. It is not meet families be made privie to the pri∣vacie of their governors: it is the next way to make them despised: its 〈◊〉〈◊〉 referring them to your owne seasons: ex∣cept your selves be the whole family, for then the diffe∣rence is taken away. I say, there may bee secret cases, wherein even each partie may chuse secrecie; in such, be wise, and powre out you hearts to God, apart, as its like Rebecca did in the strife of her twins. There is a season for all things: and marriage secrets are sacredly to be kept. Therefore I say let this be the chiefe pearle of the marriage crowne; search out all thy corruptions: make a

register of all favors of God, which God hath granted to thee,* 1.467 and to thy wife in common; such as at the time of re∣ceiving, seemed most pretious, and might ill have bin spared: marke how the Lord hath gone before thee and ordered thy conversation: consider together how happily, and yet per∣haps hardly you met in marriage: what sound love, and covenant the Lord bred at first in you: how they have since held firme; and although many things have come in to weaken them, yet they have not prevailed. Consider how your hearts are drawne daily each to other: calmeth your unquiet spirits, (which otherwise would not keepe com∣passe) so that you looke not each upon the other with the eyes of Serpents, but of Doves. Observe how Sabbaths and Sacraments are blessed,* 1.468 how your faith and peace growes, your feares decay, how your corruptions are purged; what dangers in body, state, children you avoid; and what sor∣rowes, which comber others, you are free from: also what successe in your childrens tractablenesse, and towardnesse: what faithfulnesse and subjection in your servants, (for is it not God, who makes many stout stomackes of both sexes, subject to weake governors? (as David saith) how your fellowship with the good encreases, what new blessings are fallen upon you, in persons, names, trades, posterity: Marke also well, where Satan most insuleth, and where the hedge is lowest with you: what corruptions (as old sores) breake out in their seasons, which yet seemed to be quasht before; what lustes of the heart, lust of the eie, or pride of life bubbles up from within: Looke not each into him or her selfe, but each into other, as having interest deeply planted; yet doe it not with curiosity but simplicity: By this meanes both abundant matter and manner, as oile to the lampe, will offer themselves to nourish this ordinance; all lust of sloth, all rust of ease, wearinesse will be filed off. And a free heart to make God the umpire of your differences (if any be, as how can it be avoided, but a roote of bitternesse within, will lesse or more breake out) the composer of your hearts, the granter of your requests, and the gracer of your marri∣ages will be obtained. And feare not, lest this course should

in time wearie you, or alienation each from other should grow, to distast this duty; for the Lord who hath founded it, will owne it, and can blesse it, and keepe out disorder; and the sweet fruit of this service, will so both prevent, at∣tend and follow you, in all your waies, that you shall feele your selves to walke each before other, and both before God, lesse loosely, moresoundly and safely: For why? how can it otherwise be, when both of you remember whom you use to goe to, (as to the oath and covenant) both in your confessions, on which you shame your selves for your faylings, and in your requests, craving pardon and purging, and where you have done wel, to praise him for support, and to be thankfull for that administration and protection of his, under which (as his beloved) you have bin, all the day long.

I conclude therefore, goe to God more jointly then ever; hold,* 1.469 and pull more hard and close together, so oft as you go to the throne of grace; especially, when as with that good Jacob, you are resolved not to cease wrastling till you be blessed: compell him to send you away with your request, else you cannot be answered Goe by a promise in your Ad∣vocate, and say, now Lord, this new state of ours, requireth new manners, new selfedeniall, new faith, new life, a don∣ble portion of grace; begge it therefore as Elisha did; all that belong to you, require a new part in you: And, who is sufficient for these? Make your selves nothing: and God all in all, who can satisfie you. Seperate not your selves in these duties, as others doe in Congrega∣tions, or others in boord and bed, but say, come, let us pray together, confesse, give thanks, I am as thou art, my people as thine, my horses as thine, my thoughts, affecti∣ons, members, as thine. By this meane, love shall so grow, that it shall outgrow all distempers: you shall say of each other, I never thought my wife had the tithe of that grace in her heart, or that my husband had halfe that humble∣nesse, compassion, faith, which now I perceive. Those evills, those infirmities, which would for ever have estran∣ged some, and caused distast, I see in him, in her, breed so much the more love to my soule, sympathy, and mercy: This

from this welspring of joint worship, shall flowe strea∣mes of hony and butter (as Iob speakes) into all the life•• Especially, when crosses and streights shall befall you, then shall God be neerest of all unto you, and be afflicted with you in all: because you have made him the God of your mounteynes, he wilbee the God of you valleys also, whenas others, who never thus traded with him, shalbe sent to their Idolls, and to shifte for themselves. And as touching the first duties, of mutuallnes, viz. of these fowre jointnesse of religi∣on and worship, thus much.

CHAP. VII.

The second mutuall duty of the Married, viz. Conjugall love handled.

I Now proceed to the second mayne and joint duty of the marryed which is conjugall Love:* 1.470 For the better hand∣ling wherof it will not be amisse first to premise somewhat, touching the nature of it: and then to shew some reasons, why it should bee jointly preserved, adding some meanes wherby it may bee done, and so, concluding with use.

That infinitely and onely wise God who both upholdeth by his providence,* 1.471 all his creatures in their kindes and subsi∣sting, and hath by one soule of harmony and consent, accor∣ded each with other, for their mutuall ayde and support: much more hath his hand in the accorde of reasonable creatures, their fellowship and league together, as without which they could not well continue in their welfare & pro∣sperity. And therefore, for the more sweete reconciling and uniting of the affections of one to another in every kinde of league and fellowship, both the more generall and common, standing in outward commerce, and the more neer & close, as in friendship and marriage; he hath accordingly planted in every nature, sexe and person more or lesse Simpathy, that the one not possibly beeing able to subsist without the other,

might by this tye, each love the other, and be knit to the o∣ther in union and affection.* 1.472 This appeares even in the most remote contracts of buying and selling, borrowing and len∣ding: wherin although the league stand rather in things then in persons, yet even there, is seene a generall kinde of love, each man chusing to trade and traffique with them, whose spirit and frame is most sutable to their owne. When God meant to enrich the Israelites by the bounty of the Egypti∣ans, he darted in for the time such a sympathie into their hearts, that they found favour in their eies; so that nothing was then too deare for them, jewels and gold and silver, till they had impoverisht themselves. And, in those combi∣nations of men which are grounded in law and civill order in commonwealths and corporations, although there be a necessary bond, to keepe all sorts within order and govern∣ment: yet there is to be observed between those members, a more peculiar bond betweene some then others, through a suteablenesse of disposition that is in them, whereby for speciall causes, the one doth more tenderly affect some one or other, then the common body can affect it selfe. This yet doth much more appeare in the league of friendship, wherin we see God doth so order it, that by a secret instinct of love and sympathy, causing the heart of the one to incline to the other, two friends have beene knit so close to the other, that they have beene as one spirit in two bodies, as not only wee see in Jonathan and David, but in heathens which have striven to lay downe their lives for the safeguard of each other. And that the finger of God is hert, appeares by this, that oftimes a reason cannot be given by either partie, why they should be so tender each to other: It be∣ing caused notby any profitable or pleasurable meane, but by meere sympathy, which is farre the more pure and noble cement of union, then what else so ever. Nay, in the very sencelesse creatures is to be seene this amity and neerenesse, that as some have an antipathy each to other, as the shadow of the walnut is noxious to other plants; so, the elme and the vine doe naturally so entwine and embrace each the other, that its called, the friendly elme; who can tell why?

much more then in reasonable creatures, it must be so. And hence those heathens (that could goe no further) make the very constellations of heaven, under which two are borne, to be the cause and influence of their accord: I know not what starre (saith one) hath temperd my nature so fitly to thine, that we should be so united. And another, scof∣fing at one he distasted, tells him, I love thee not certainly, and yet I cannot tell why, (for thou never hurtest me) but this I am sure of, that I love thee not. What wonder then, if God for the preserving of that band which is neerest of all, durablest of all, and the most fundamentall of all: hath much more caused a secret sympathie of hearts to live in the brests and bosomes of some men, and some women, that are to live in the married estate, (whereof no reason can bee given, save the finger of God;) whereby I say their hearts and affections doe consent together, of two to become one flesh, the most inward union of all? Whence is it, that (all others set aside, sometimes more amiable in themselves, more rich, better bred, and the like) yet through this instinct of sympathie, (an hidden and unknowne cause) two con∣sent together to become husband and wife? Surely by this it appeares, that by how much lesse reason can be given of this temperament, so much the more God is in it, as purpo∣sing by a more pretious and uniting band, then ordinary, to knit them together, whom he purposeth to maintaine in such a league, as must endure, and cannot be dissolved, when once it is made. So that we see marriage love is oftime a secret worke of God, pitching the heart of one party upon ano∣ther, for no knowne cause; and therefore where this strong lodestone attracts each to other, no further question need to be made, but such a man such a womans match were made in heaven, and God hath brought them together.

But,* 1.473 because the finger of God is not so manifest in all matches as by a secret inspiration to unite them: and be∣cause man being a reasonable creature, is led in affections, not to live by sensuall appetite, as a beast, but by rationall motives and inducements: therefore providence disco∣vers it selfe herein also: even framing the matter so, that

oftimes where this naturall inclination failes, and where in likely hood some antipathie and contrariety of spirits would appeare; yet, by some accidentall endowments of religion, of education, of eminent naturall parts, of sweet dispositi∣on, even that party pleases best, who yet were as likely to displease as much as any in the generall. I say this is a pro∣vidence more generall, then the former: so ordering things, that where meere sympathy failes, yet another band may proove (to some persons) as pleasing and lasting, when as they see that one defect is recompenced, with another emi∣nencie and perfection. Who but God hath so accorded it, that many a woman of exquisite beauty and person, like to attract love enough (in a mutuall way of man) should yet come short of inward wi••, wisedome and abilities? Surely he who doth all so well, that nothing can bee found out after him better then he hath made it, hath thus appointed it, lest if all perfections should concurre in one impotent subject, the heart would be too big for the bosome, and swell into an excesse of pride, and selfelove. And on the other side, who hath so ordred it, that oftentimes, where beauty failes, where ••ther person is ordinary, there yet, these uncomely partes should be cloathed with greater honour, of vertue, understanding, industry, providence, and other qualities of worth: and all for this universall end, that there might be an equality? So that whereas the person in some regards might be an object of disdaine, yet in others, might be to a rationall and wise man, a meet object of esteeme, her gifts drowning her defects, and so sustaining the poore creature from contempt and scorne. Thus doth God by his wisedome so order contraires, that being brought by his own skillfull hand to a due temperature, they might cause a most pleasing harmony: so that oftimes a nimble wit joyned with a more slow, a phlegmatique temper with a sanguine, a melancho∣lique with a merry, a cholerique with a mild and patient temper, might behold the workmanship of God herein with such admiration, that the frame of spirit which in the generall might seeme most repugnant, yet in respect of the necessarie usefulnesse and commodity thereof, might find

most favour. And why? surely because similitude of distem∣pers might breed a confusion in the married estate, wheras the one quality alaying the other, might reduce the body to a sweet harmony and correspondence. So that still we see God hath an hand in this union of hearts in the married and although some unite through a secret sympathy: others from some confessed good and amiable object in the party loved; yet God is in them both, that by a strong marrimo∣niall knot the married couples might eike out that love and affection towards each other, which else neither the need of each other, no nor religion it selfe could alone, maintaine and preserve. And so much for this second branch.

By all I have said,* 1.474 it may be perceaved, that by conjugall love, here, I meane not onely Christian love, a grace of Gods spirit: (for marriage borders much what upon nature and flesh) nor yet a carnall and sudden flash of affection, cor∣ruptly enflamed by Concupiscence: (rather brutish the•• hu∣mane) but a sweete compounde of both, religion and nature, the latter being as the materiall, the former as the formall cause therof; properly called Marriage love. And this love is not an humor raysed suddenly in a pang or thoade of affe∣ction, ebbing and flowing; sometymes when the parties are set upon the stage abroad, among company and strangers, where they woulde acte a parte for their Credit; (for family and place where they live ought to be their true stage of Action) but an habited and settled love planted in them by God, wherby in a constant, equall, and cheerfull consent of spirit, they carry themselves each to other: each hollow com∣panion wil exceed, at an od time, and put downe true lovers: who if they were tryed by their uniforme love,* 1.475 would be tired as jades & betray themselves to be counterfeits: what∣soever is according to God, is equall, though but weake. So is this, of the love of couples: no union of imagination, mix∣ture, nor yet bare affection, but an effect of divineinstitutiō, be∣tweene two, (for polygamy is the Corruption of marriage;) not to be dissolved till death, except uncleannes divorced it. This love is (as the eccho to the voice) the vitall spirit, and

heart blood of this Ordinance causing a voluntary and pra∣ctique union of two, without which union alone by vertue of Gods institution, is but a forced necessitie. For then hath this ordinance her perfection, when this soder of love beeing added thereto, maketh that union w•••• cannot be broken, to become such a willing one, as (to chuze) woulde not be bro∣ken. Else friendship were a better one-ship then marriage, because that may be dissolved, when it waxes a burden, wher∣as this holdes, bee it never so wearisome. But then is it happy when the lover and the loved enjoy each other: else the fellowship of those maried ones, whose love is degenerat into bitter hatred, were as good as the best: for the worst, mar∣riage is such, that (till one cease to bee) it cannot cease to bee a knitting of two in one; no time, no distance of place, no sin (except adultery) breaking it of: but how miserable a neces∣sity is that, which hath no law, no remedie? Hence God hath allowed so many respects and liberties in the choise of hus∣bands and wives, because he would streighten none, but that they might live lovingly, except the fault bee their owne. So that as he who marrieth for other ends, religion beeing neg∣lected, offendeth chiefly, so doth hee also, who shall marry one religious, without due caution of other things which might strengthen love, even hee shall sin against the comfort of his owne life. And its certaine, that longer then love compounded of the forenamed causes, doth last, marriage is but a carcasse voyde of life. And the stronger the tie is, the irkesomer is marriage, beeing frustrate of that pretious thing, for which it should love groundedly.

Let me adde some reasons why this so joint a bond should bee carefully preserved.* 1.476 First nothing is so pretious among men in worldly respects, as that for which the husband loveth and desireth the wife; and shee him; no union so strong as this; no ioy in any outward union so contentfull as this; nor able to wish well to the thing loved as this. For though I must love my neighbour as my selfe, yet I am bound to love my wife otherwise for both kind and measure, then my neigh∣bour; yea and in some sence, better then my selfe. And its truely observed, that this rule of loving our neighbour, is

rather to be expounded privatively or negatively, then posi∣tively: forbidding rather to doe any hurt to my neighbour, which I would not doe to my selfe, then commanding to do him so much good as to my selfe: sithence by this meane I should be bound to feed and cloath him as my selfe, which were abused. But my wife I am bound to love as my selfe in both respects as my selfe; both in the negative, and affir∣mative sense.* 1.477 Hence is that of the Apostle, No man ever hated his owne flesh, but nourisht and cherisht it, even so ought a man to love his wife as himselfe: not onely in distresse,* 1.478 for so am I bound to love mine enemy, If thine e∣nemy hunger, feed him, &c. but constantly, and at all times. Hence is the generall rule,* 1.479 urged mutually upon both, hus∣band, love your wives, as Christ loved his Church, and gave himselfe for it, to purge and wash it: that, it might bee without spot: and the like hee professeth upon the wife to him;* 1.480 wives love your husbands, &c. nothing is to be a re∣ciprocall duty.

But yet this I must adde,* 1.481 that this so mutuall a duty, is yet required of both in a different manner. For the more cleere understanding whereof, observe, that as the love where∣with Christ loves his Church is a more abundant and bounti∣full love, then that whereby she loves him againe; yea, her love is as her other grace, fetcht from his fulnesse, which he commun cates unto her by his spirit, so is the womans love in the carriage thereof to the mans. And as the dimme light of the Moone borrowed from that principle of light the Sunne; so by proportion, the love of the wife is as bor∣rowed from the love of the husband. He is the fountaine of the relation, she followes as the correlative, her love is the streame issuing from his spring. Love must decend from him,* 1.482 as the oile of Aarons head descended downe to his beard, and his cloathing; So that the manner of this impar∣ting love must be orderly: the husband is to offer, to bestow, and communicate himselfe first to his wife; in a free, boun∣tifull, full love; she is not so much bound to vie upon his love, or to love bountifully and actively, as to reflect and re∣turne upon himselfe his owne love, and that in a reverent,

amible and modest maner: Thence is it, that as oft as Paul useth the charge of husbands loving their wives, (which is very frequent) yet he very seldome, and but once urgeth the woman to love her husband:* 1.483 (but as if he would have them, their love and all to be drowned in their sub∣jection) he presseth them, to be subject to their husbands; wives submit your selves:* 1.484 and, let the wife reverence her husband: Noting, that although the married estate, be an equall estate, yet the carriage of both must not be the same: but the love of the one must be conveyed with royalnesse without tiranny, the other in loyall sweet subjection, with∣out slavery. So then, as the head and other inferior members, are equally parts of one body, yet the head in a different and more singular maner, then the rest: so ought the case to be betwixt husband and wife. And hence it is, that accor∣ding to the custome of all Nations, the husband seeketh the wife, the wife loveth after she is loved: except is be here and there in some odde person,* 1.485 noted for folly or immodesty. The mans authority mixed with the womans midnesse, his activenesse, with her passivenesse and acceptance, makes the sweet compound. As the Sun, exhaling vapours, out of the earth, draweth them up into the aire, and having altered their groster quality, sends them downe againe with more foyson and fatnesse to refresh the earth as with her owne store; so, the lovely disposition of a vertuous wife, draw∣ing love from her husband, into her owne heart, sweeteneth the vapour, and returnes his owne upon him againe with a double pleasing grace and comlinesse. And as we see, that the meate, which the stomack receaveth, except it be cold or hot, scarcely admits kindly digestion; because be∣ing luke warme, it cannot worke upon that meate which is like her owne temper; so, if you take away this temper of natures, love is loathsome in one maner and fulsome. For, what is more loathed by a discreet man, then a woman mannishly qualited? And, what is more yrkesome to a lo∣ving woman, then a man effeminate? Therfore, let the man keepe his liberty in loving; avoiding all base uxoriousnesse, softnesse, and nice affection of his wife, and let the woman

shunne all uncomely boldnesse; and taking upon her with authority in the carriage of her love towards him: it be∣comes him to play the Captaine and lead this service of love, and it beseemes her, to tread the same steps, and follow. This is the wisest contention, whether shall love other with the most cordiall affection, in a true way.

[Vse 1] I come to some use of the point. And first it much con∣demneth the course of such as beare any stroake in the mar∣riages of others,* 1.486 who are so eager and peremptory in stri∣king through the match,* 1.487 that they omit the tying of the knot sure, (which is the maine point) and so ••ecome the oc∣casions of forced matches,* 1.488 empty of love. Alas! you little consider of time to come: and what a sad entrance you make into an estate of life, which needs the mutuall im∣proovement of a stocke, which you never care to procure them at the first. And even so are couples themselves herein excedingly to blame; in that they set the cart before the horse, dragging (in a sort, as he those oxen he had stollen, into his denne by the tailes) so they, the wives which by head and shoulders they have gotten, into their bosomes, the contrary way: Sympathy of heart, or amiable qualities which should attract love towards their persons, and cover any such defect as a carnall curious eye would stumble at, these they set not in the first ranke, but as the kite upon the prey, so fall they eagerly upon something in the woman, neither praise worthy nor amiable (for as the Philosopher saith who praises any for wealth, or that which is without) but either profitable or sensually pleasing: these they thinke will carrie love after it. But by that time they have tried at leasure, and found that love is not compelled, but a thing which must be perswaded, and extracted by some deser∣vingnesse of the qualities in the partie loved: then finding no such thing in the party married, they perceive how pre∣posterous they have beene, and would amend their choice, (if possible) with the forfeit of much other commodity.* 1.489 But its too late, for what shall a man give for the recompence of love if absent? or what shal it profit a man to have won a wife with, all other advantage, in whom is no true amiable thing

to winne affection? what a sad bondage is it, to be tied for ever to one thou canst not love? An object of discayne, of hatred, of loathsomnesse, of stinch? a thing, wherin there is no dramme of that which is desireable? How wofull a bur∣len wereit to have a dead carcasse bound with cordes to thy oacke, to go with thee, every where? whō thy heart tels thee, thou knowest no one woman or man of an hundred whom thou canst not as well find in thine heart to love, as her? So that in all the companies wherin thou comest, & darest utter thy thoughts, this must bee the first complaint, Thou wert compelled to marry her, or him whom in thine heart thou never couldst set thy love upon: so that thou wert driven in∣to the net, and taken, as a birde in a snare. Oh, if love bee one of those joint duties which the married should continually nourish, what shall become of them, who never joyned to∣gether before marriage to compasse it at all? what is this, but to prepare for themselves perpetuall vexation? should I call it, or desolation?

And secondly how doth this reproove such,* 1.490 as although first entred not without some affection each to other,* 1.491 yet, through a vaine,* 1.492 emptie, and base spirit, neglect the chary keeping of such a jewell, as love is? Tush, they thinke that will keepe it selfe, although they live at randon, and hang it upon every hedge. If love (say they) bee the matter you talke of, let us alone, I warrant you, we love each other as much as any body, there is no love lost betweene us, we have one anothers heart as it were in a boxe? Heare mee I pray, what kind of love is that you meane? Is it a meer carnall and brutish appetite, or a vertous, and religious love which I have spo∣ken of? perhups (for the present) thou supposest thy selfe enamoured with some externall thing which thou seest in her, not yet comparing that one, with ten other most odious qualities which in time will weare out the humorous contēt and doting delight, thou hast in that one. As yeares come on, sicknes and crosses, alas, that insufficient one object beeing blasted, and no other object comming in the roome, to holde thee satisfied, how needes must thy affection quaile, & sterve in thy bosome, thou shouldst first have layd the ground of

thy love in such adefired obiect of vertue, modesty, and worth as might have held water, and not shrunke in the wetting. The most resolute loves vanish in a short tyme, where the fuell of love faileth.* 1.493 But to goe backe, put case thou hadst groundes of first love to thy companion: what then? thinkest thou that this edge will holde without dayly whetting? when thou foolishly, slightest the due attendance of this love, dost thinke it a toile to nourish it, nay darest cast water upon this sparkle, as never fearing it wilbe quenched: dost thou wonder, if this thy darling is lost on the suddeine, for lacke of looking to? No no: thou must fixe thine eyes upon those first objects, which won thy love to thy companion: not run up and downe into all places, with unsavorie com∣pliants of husbandes, and wives! Not looking at the partes of others, to estrange thine hearte at home. Love is a birde with winges, soone gone out of the cage of thy bosome, if it be carelessely set open. Thou sayst thou hast it in a boxe, but what if thou loose box and all? Therfore, shunne those com∣pleints which fools make! Oh! if my husband had the qua∣lities of such a man, were hee of such understanding, religi∣on, parts of speech and memory, tendernes and amiablenesse, that such and such a one is, how coulde I love him? Then comes in hee with the like, if my wife had the properties of such a woman, so chast, so kind, so wise, so able to keep her tongue, and observe the lawes of silence or of speech; so zea∣lous, provident, and the like, as other women have, how worth were she of love: Dare you thus dally in so weightie a busines? dare you like the gnat fondly fly about the candle, as secure of burning? Oh unworthie of love, each from other! should you looke out abroad upon obiects which belong not unto you, hurtfull, not helpful? to encrease emulation and envie, not affection? what are you the neerer? Poare upon your owne husband, and his parts, let him be the vaile of your eies, as Abimelec told Sara, and looke no further: let her bee your furthest object:* 1.494 thinke you no vertues in any beyonde hers: those that are but small, yet make them great by oft contemplation: those that are greater, esteeme and value at their due rate, that you may know them to the ful weight, ha∣ving

weighed thē in the ballance. This putting your sickle in your neighbours corne, will prove too hot and heavie: it will cause your owne to shale and perish the while. Its a better worke of the two for you, to thinke, you see won∣der, in your own companions, though there be little in either; then to bee quicksighted in seeing the gifts of others, bee they never so excellent; at least its the farre safer error of the two. It must be the mutuall reflexe and exchange of gra∣tious, and sweet vertues in and from each other, rebounding as the sunbeames from the wall, that only can holde you in an invincible league of amity! The marking of each others, goodnes, compassion, fidelity, chastitie, which must continue that first love, which at the first they caused. You need not quench love: its enough that you withdraw this fuell, and looke upon the infirmities of each other, (the onely dampe, and choakepeare of affection,) these alone will kill it. And when other fuell failes (as I sayde before) let religion step in, and make it up: this will keep harmonie in other discord. Reade over that divine songe of Salom. Setting out the blessed union betweene Christ and his spouse the Church; wherin is most lively expressed, what inward content, and feeling ioy, each partakes in other, through the fight of each others perfections. She in her heade, because in him, shee be∣holdes all fulnesse of wisedome, and grace; and hee in her, be∣cause of the reboundings of those ornamēts and graces of the spirit, wherwith he had furnished her. So much forthis second.

[Vse 3] Thirdly this must bee a serious caveat to all married cou∣ples, to nourish this their love,* 1.495 and to preserve it entire. Which will the more easily be obteined, if they shall consi∣der those sad effects which come from the decay of it, in the lives of couples.* 1.496 As Salomon speaking of drunkennes, saith, whence are red eyes, whence are woundes, and quarrels? Are they not from the red wine?* 1.497 and St. Iames, whence are warres and contentions among you? Are they not from your lustes that fight in your members? you seeke and enjoy not, but miscarry, in all your attempts, & see not whence your misery commeth? So say I, whence are those ende lesse de∣bates, differences betweene the married, that they are alway

seeking for blessing, and longing after an happy life, but still it goeth further and further from them? Alas! because they dreame still the fault is without doores, in this and that, bad servants, ill successe, improvidence: and sometime in each o∣ther: but never set the sadle upon the right horse: the disease is within their bosomes, they have lost their first love each to other, they are waxen saplesse and unsavory in their spirit and affection one to another. While that lasted, all went for∣warde in a sweet maner, cart went well upon wheeles: for the spirit of mutuall love made it slicke and trimme, the oile of love set it forward: but since this was exhausted and dried up, all went to havocke, the sinewes of society, the band of peace and perfection, of thrift and welfare beeing broken, there is a dissolution of the frame, and a shattering of all. Children have no edge to do their duties, servants have no joy to doe their worke, lovelesse couples are livelesse & un∣fortunate: yea the salte having lost her favour, is good for nought, save to be trodden under the feete of contempt and scorne.* 1.498 Whence are those Mock-divorces so frequent in the world, wherby couples seperate from each others some from bed, from board, from house, and so farre, that one shire will not holde thē; beeing barred of a real, they please themselves in a locall content, which yet lasts not, the names of each o∣thers, much more the companyes beeing odious. Hence come those hideous presidents, of conspiracies one against the life of another; adulteries, villanies, yea murthers practized against husband and wife: he who despizeth his owne life is soon Mr. of anothers, and how can a man chuse but despise his life,* 1.499 when he feeles it wearisome. As those 4. Lepers sayd, let us be desperate, and rush upon thee Campe of Aram, for what is our life worth, we are but dead men, wee cannot be worse: so may lovelesse couples say, whatsoever we doe, we suffer, we cannot be worse (though we were not) thēwe are. A dead dog is as good as such a living lyon. Hence againe come those manifold suites and pursuites abroad, exclaming jealousies at home: the treasure is stollen, love is gone. As he sayde of his Idolls,* 1.500 so I of this love, you have stollen my Gods, and do you aske mee, what ayleth thee? The fence is

broken, the sluce is pulled up, all goes to wracke and confu∣sion. There is as much use of a bone out of joint, yea, of a man out of his wits, as of such a couple. Fidelity, modesty, huswifery in a woman, degenerate into carelesnesse of bo∣dy, of soule, of state, of name, into meere vanity: a wo∣man not loving her husband will not stick, to pull one eie of her owne, to pull out both of her husbands, as the fable tells: rob and spoile her selfe of goods, and good name, that she might spoile him. Nay many have devoted themselves to a defilement of their bodies, to be revenged each of other: meere hatred and spite hath drawne them to such sinne as lust alone would not have done. This tast may be sufficient, to warne all, who be not forlorne, to looke to themselves to beware how they embessel that sacred stocke, which God hath inspired all such married ones withall, whom he meanes to susteine in this state, with integrity and honour: Marriage is honourable, keepe then the pledge of it entire which is love. Its like that Image in the Capitall, called the Paladium, which if it ever came to be seene and profaned, threatned ruine to their Commonwealth, there∣fore they kept it in a most affected secrecy and safety. God hath bestowed it to make the difficulties of the married life tolerable; (which else, the multitude of them would make yrkesome) and shall a man having but one string to his bow cut it in two? or a city having but one engin to defend themselves cast it away? Let it bee a warning to all sorts therefore.

Lastly,* 1.501 this point must be exhortation to couples, to prac∣tise and discharge faithfully, this joint duty of marriage ove, each to other. Wheresoever thou art, whithersoever thou goest, whatsoever thou dost, remember thou carriest about thee a precious pearle, looke to it, prise it and preserve it, as thy life. There be sundry motives to presle this upon wil∣ling couples, as hammers to drive this naile home to the head: and indeed I may say of it, as he once said, of one, an honest man need not, a dishonest man will not be war∣ned: The generall motive to both husband and wife, is Gods charge to them: live and love. Both of you thinke

thus, he bids it who better knows the use of it, the danger of the contrary, then such silly ones as we. Commands of God, are folemne things, especially such as serve for a trench, for a fortresse, a fence to hedge in an ordinance. He that dares violate it, shall pay for it sweetly. Therefore, set your heart to obey this rule, and say its life or death: Its the crutch of your lame limbs, if that faile, you must fall, if the shores breake, the house ruines. Obey God out of love: discerne his sovereignty in this charge; love him and love one ano∣ther. If thou love me feed my sheepe:* 1.502 saith Christ to Peter: If you love me keepe my commandes,* 1.503 saith he to them all. And,* 1.504 if you love me, love each other (saith the same voice) to couples. Doe not dally with such edge tooles. Say not oh man! what shall I loose my liberty, and tie my selfe to a woman? nor she, shall I forgoe my will, and tie my selfe to an husband? is not the world broad and large? yes, but as full of sorrow and woe, as its wide and broad, without this preservative. It is a good hard theame I grant to handle: I will therefore reach out one or two motives in particular, to each party: and because arguments for time past, as former covenants made, great affections in the first heat of youth, like May bees file away, and are soone forgot: I will mention such, as afford themselves daily to couples in the course of their life. To the man, I say, thy wife is bone of thy bone,* 1.505 and flesh of thy flesh: She is another selfe, woman made of man, taken out of thee, a glasse to behold thy selfe in: when the Lord brought this Modell of Adams selfe unto him, consider how naturall, how pretious, how welcome she was? what? is not thy wife as naturall an object to thee?

Secondly,* 1.506 thy wife, so oft as thou lookest upon her is a deserving object of love and compassion: she hath done that for thy sake, which thou wouldst not have done for her: for she hath not onely equalled thee in forsaking her father and mother, and family, that she might be one flesh with thine, but she hath forgone her name, and put all her state and livelyhood into thine hand: if thou stick to her, she is well, if thou forsake her, she hath put her selfe out of all her

other succours. Her subsisting is imperfect in her self, its who∣ly substantive and real (under God) in thee? As the Lord Iesus speakes of the eie, that all the sight of the body, is within it, if therfore that be darke how great is that darknesse? So, if thou desert thy poore shiftlesse wife, and leave her mends in her own hands, how great is that desertion? Thirdly, consider how much labour is put upon a weake vessell, daily, in dili∣gence, in stirring up the commodities of the house, in atten∣dance upon children and family, and such providence as is required of her: Her trouble is great in the peculiar acts of marriage, great are her paines in conception, in her bearing, in her travaile and bringing forth, in her nurcery and bring∣ing up, till they be out of hand at least: and some women exceed others in this kind: for some shift off this work care∣lesly, and commit their babes to strangers, as if they were too good to nurse them, when as yet their breasts are full, and their bodies strong: whereas others put forth them∣selves to the uttermost, and therefore deserve double affecti∣on. Consider oh man, if not the drudgery of thy wife in this kind, (if there were not a command and promse to make it sweet) then that finger of God, and providence, disposing so, that a weake one should doe that with patience and cheerefulnesse, (as a worke of her place) which all thy strength were not able to turne thy hand unto: Love her for that impression of divine wisedom, which thou seest stamped upon her: what man were able to endure that clamor, annoi∣ance, and clutter which she goes through without complaint among poore nurslines, clothing, feeding, dressing and un∣dressing picking and clensing them; what is it save the in∣stinct of love which enableth her hereto? Who hath taught the poore bird, even a seelie Wren to make her so curious a neast, as exceedes all art of man to effect? Is it not the na∣turall instinct which love hath put in her? so oughtst thou to nourish that love in thy wife which puts her forth to all her marriage service? If God were not in her spirit she would cast it offten times, ore she would goe through stitch with it, as she doth. Its the best requitall which can be given her from man, to helpe digest so many sowre morsels, sad busi∣nesses;

& all too little. For it must bee the Lord who must tell her;* 1.507 That although she beare her punishment in her childbea∣ring, yet it shalbe sweetened by mercy, for shee shalbe sa∣ved therby, & obteyne more glory therby, through faith & patience, then shee who beares not. But above all, the grace of God, in so fraile a creature: the wisedome of the spirit shining in her wordes, counsells, actions, examples, should bee most admirable of all, and the chiefe loadstone to draw affection from the husband,* 1.508 as in Davids esteeme of Abi∣gail in that kinde, may appeare.

The like may be sayde of the man,* 1.509 to draw respect and honor from the woman, (if she bee not degenerate) and to love her husband: For why? In him may shee beholde yet more manifest steppes of Gods image then in her selfe. They say, there is in some kindes as much of the Creator in the Ant, as in the Lyon: in the former, excellent skilfulnes, in the o∣ther, power and majesty: So here. In the man shines out more authority, government, forecast, soveraignty, then in the woman: By the man, as shee at first received her being; so, still she enjoyes from him countenance, protection, dire∣ction, honor: in a worde (under God) light and defence. To these adde, They entred their league solemnly, but they shall part sadly; A time there is to embrace, but there shall bee a time farre from embracing. Improve it well therefore, love, live, and leave. Bitter else will the review bee of a life past, representing the fruits of a lovelesse marriage, a tedi∣ous pilgrimage, whereas the memorie of a loving husband or wife shall allay the bitternes of death to the survivor. And indeed if that indenture which couples first make solemnly to God, to keepe this sacred knot inviolable, and unstayned, were well kept: this darling would grow up in the house, as that poore mans onely lambe did, wherof Nathan tells David,* 1.510 which eate with him at the Table, slept with him in his bosome, and was to him, as one of his children: (so Bath∣sheba and Vrya are described) so deare I say, should this pledge bee to them both, and through it they each to other; strong∣ly fenced before hande, against all occasions of the contra∣rie, (for that which preserves it selfe, alway destroyes the

contrary) and so providing that this twinne may live and die with them together. Some dreame that old folkes are past love: and foolishly impropriate it to the heate of youth: but alas, the anciently married (if right) may as ill want it as the young; yea worst of all when old age hath prooved it to be sounde; then may the marryed cease to love when they cease to live. Therfore roll each stone to find this grace: buy it whatsoever it cost, fell it not, whatsoever you may have for it: lest you bee as he who solde his birthright: which once gone coulde be no more recovered, though sought with never so many teares. And truly for the most part, its noted, that when it once gets a fall, it prooves almost impossible to soder it againe; beeing as the native heate and moysture of the body, which once spent (they say) is irrecoverable. And so much of this second joint duty of the marryed, Con∣jugall love.

CHAP. VIII.

Treating of the 3. Ioint duty of the Mar∣ryed, viz. Chastitie.

THe third mutuall service of the married followeth to be spoken of,* 1.511 to wit Chastity. A dignitie, helde by a du∣tie, both the vertue of preserving it, and they who are the preservers of it, are honorable, And, while we are discour∣sing about this, we seeme to be in the center, in the chiefe of the honor of marriage. Other honors are excellent addi∣tions and ornaments, but this the being of it: marriage de∣lights in being quiet, peaceable, rich, in credit, but, provided alway the mayne bee entire, else they lose their value. As it is with the rich,* 1.512 their pleasures, feasts, companies, and li∣berties please them will, but how? still presupposing the oote to be sound, their stock and state to be unque∣stionable. Every accidental of marriage is pleasant, because chastity which makes it so, is taken for granted. It is the fairest floure, the richest j••wel in the garland, the crowne

of marriage. And well it may be so stiled: for as a crowne is blasted, if it have a peere, and a competitor to amate i••, so is this, if the chastity therof be empaired. The wante of other happinesses may in a sort, be supplyed in this: the wife is sheepish, or shrewish, or the like; but the comfort is, she is chast. Wheras if she be unchast, there is no comfort in it, that she is fayre, rich, personable or well bred. The peculiarity of Marriage standes in chastity. I am desirous that my money, my land, my friende bee my peculiar ones, and that no man may have a right in thē save my selfe; yet rather then I should wante them, I had rather have them in a community, then want them altogether: But chastity is such a peculiar of marriage, that I rather chuse infintely to have no husband, no wife at all, then one that is unchast. Many endowments so honor marriage, when they are present, as that yet being absent, they disannull her not: they make it a sad, an uncheer∣full one, but undoe it not: chastity is so reall, so essentiall an attribute, that the absence thereof, quite destroyes the being thereof.

The institution of Christ is sufficient to approove this duty.* 1.513 They two shalbee one slesh: not two, not three, not joyned to this harlot,* 1.514 that Adulterer. Malachi tells us, he who had spirit enough in him to have devized and bestowed ••••••ther elbowroome in this kinde,* 1.515 yet foresaw, that closenes and entirenesse of spirit, such as the marryed couples ought to embrace, cannot subsist in multitude: the first number, two, are enough, to grow into one flesh: and love would vanish into lust, basenes and brutish commonnes, if the bridle were let loose into manifolde copulation. Sin not therefore (saith the Prophet) against the husband and wife of thy flesh: nay sin not against him that made them one flesh, and onely them: for that were to taxe his spirit and ordinance. And wherin do rationall creatures differ from sensuall, save in this honorable peculiarnesse, and propriety? which, not the scriptures have revealed, but the verie lawe of nature hath dictated and engraven in the minds of the very heathens: who have censured promiscuous luste with as severe lawes, as the word it selfe; many of them I say, especially in

case of adultery. As for that loosenes of the first times, where in men tooke the liberty, both of many wives, and of those frequent divorces, wherby they stayned their bodies with unbridled pollutious: although the former were permitted in the first tymes of the churche, the number wherof was scant, (being cooped within the narrow boundes of one fa∣mily) and the latter winked at by the Lord, and his govern∣ment, for the unavoydable hardnes and rebellion of that Iewish nation: yet neither was allowed of, but abhorred, & as the tymes grew more enlightned, so such commonnesse and vagrancy of lust, grew to be restreyned, till it was quite out of practice. Hence that of the Apostle, having disswaded marriage in times of danger and persecution: Neverthelesse (sayth he) to avoyde Fornication,* 1.516 let every man have his owne wife, and woman, her husband. And in the rules given to Ministers, the same Apostle foreseeing what a sad president the common sorte would snatch to themselves from the pra∣ctice of the Minister; precisely chargeth him, that if he mar∣ry (which he forbiddes not) yet he should bee the husband of one wife.* 1.517 Noting doubtlesse, that all Chastity is not seene in abstinence from strange flesh: but in the restreint of cor∣ruption from colouring over uncleannes, with a marrying of many; which is a double sin, not onely mocke-adultery, but a defiling of an ordinance with that pollution which it abhorres, and sinne (as it were) by priviledge. And let every man (saith Paul) learne how to preserve the vessel of his owne body,* 1.518 in holines and honor: marke how the one goes with the other!* 1.519 why doth he presse it? because its the Temple of the holy Ghost; and he who defiles the temple of God, him will God destroy. We neede go no further to prove this duty of Chastity, to be the Crowne of marriage, then that text: (keep your vessels in honor:) we know a like phrase of the Old Testament when a man shall lie which a mayde,* 1.520 he having humbled her: whats that? Surelye he hath takē her honor of chastity away: her credit is gone. And fitly in this text, the Apostle prooves marriage to be Honorable by the undefilednesse of the bed: God (saith he) hath put honor upon it (as carnall a thing as it seemes) powre not you any con∣tempt

upon it by unchastenesse. So Iacob saith in his dying words to Reuben,* 1.521 Although thou art my strength and crowne by thy first borneship: yet because thou went up to thy Fathers bed, thou art unstable as water, thy dignity is gone. And the childe (we know) begotten thus, is called a Base: A marke of dishonor to Father and it selfe.* 1.522 Salomon tells us, that such an one gets himselfe a blurre,* 1.523 which never will out.* 1.524 Jephtha a valiant man, yet a bastard, was scorned, and cast out from among his brethren, had no childs portion; and Sampson by his wilde lust became of an honorable Iudge, a foole in Israel.

Chastity then (you see) is a generall duty,* 1.525 for all them, who seeke to maintaine their honour unstained, nothing doth cleave so deeply to marriage as this: I have noted before some accidentall staines by unequalnesse, when La∣dies and their horskeepers, young girles and old men match together, when a Prince marries a beggar, a bad with a good, a christian with an heathen or heretique, or if marri∣age proove contentious and unpleasant, who sees not a re∣proach? But these are such staines, as may be washt out in time; either by repentance, or (in a sort) by second better marriages. Onely the staine of unchastnesse, is like an iron∣mole, which nothing can fetch out; its like the leprosie which fretted into the walls; no scraping the stones could clense it,* 1.526 but it must be demolished: Death may end the parties, but not the memory of the shame: Davids repen∣tance tooke away the guilt, but not the reproach, that abides to this day. So then, as I have began with the duty of love, (which must be the first, and inward cement of couples (for whats christall worth if it be broken?) I say, as loves is the in∣ward band of preserving, because the outward action fol∣loweth the affection: so now, I proceed with chastity, which is the maine Charter of love, and the patent thereof, evidencing that the heart loves entirely, because the bodies are kept pure from pollution. I deny not, but there are thousands of none of the most loving ones, nor religious ones, who yet loath adultery and filthinesse in this kind: but yet there are many also, not the worst for repute, whose

marriages are spotted with this staine: and all to shew, that where the roote wants, ten to one, if the branches doe not wither. The restraint of providence is such by a com∣mon light, that many are kept perforce from this dishonour. And yet this proves not, but that the inclinations and temp∣tations of others are such, that they lie open to this snare, as much as to any. We must not neglect the urging of the duty, because some are innocent: for some are so in same who are not in deed, and some in deed, who are not in spirit, and some in spirit and yet no thanke to them: let the point fasten as it may: and fynd out the guilty: (the guiltlesse are out of the compasse of it.) But the age is generally debauched, and iniquity carryes all as a flood before it; Although the second part of this Treatise, treating of the denunciation against this sin, may perhaps more fully discover this disease with the cure of it: yet here (by so fit occasion) I shall presse the jointnesse and honor of the duty, by a few reasons, exhor∣tation, and motives.

[Reason.] Touching Reasons: this may be one, Chastity is the maine support of union,* 1.527 as the contrary is the chiefe dissolver of it. No other fault (if once the marriage be lawfully consum∣mated) doth jnferre iust separation (by authority of the word) save this of uncleannesse. Therfore needes must that which mainteins union bee the greatest pillar and prop of marriage. Prostitution of the body, profanes the honor of it and casts it into the myre: and therfore the Cardinall vertue that must beare it up, must be this Chastity. If so, then ought it by joint consent to be maynteyned by both parties.

[Reason. 2] Secondly it must be jointly done, because, although, the honor of pure marriage requires both to conspire in mutuall chastity, yet the defilement of eyther party is sufficient to overthrowe the honor of it.* 1.528 As we say of a vertuous action, all points must concurre to make it good, but any one defect in those will serve to make it vitious, so here. Marriage disho∣nor doth not need the consent of both the parties disho∣nesty: if one be disloiall, its as good as both. Not before God in point of guilt: but men in point of honor: for to manward, guilt and reproach, •• (in a sort, especially here) lose their

difference: the innocent party, being pittied with as much dishonour, as the guilty is reproached. Therefore this joint duty of chastity must be supported most carefully, by the joint care and purenesse of both parties. Adde hereto, that defect of this joint closenesse may bring a shame upon mar∣riage, (though perhaps not so great yet as true) as well as a greater crime committed. As the Philosopher saith, glory is not in the glorified, he is but the object; the agent is the glorifier. Therefore fame and report is well called by some, the married ones Saint. For by fame they either stand or sinke. Now, how easily may fame snatch the least neglect of the married in this kind, to raise suspicions? How close∣ly curious had they need be of their course, and purenesse, who cannot keepe their owne honour in their owne power sometime, doe what they can? Is it not the misery of manie to be defamed without cause? Neither smoke nor fire ap∣pearing, but perhaps some mistake, error, or advantage of a foule mouth being the sparke that kindleth the fire: And yet it sometimes little availes (for the point it selfe of ho∣nour) whether a man be guilty, or be taken so. How great had that caution need to be, that should preserve the honour of chastity?

[Reas. 3] The third may be this, (as I noted before) Gods setting his print and marke of honour upon marriage,* 1.529 in appointiug one to one. How serious and solemne ought the meditation of this charge be, being not humane, but divine? And, (to repeate nothing) If the violation of this sacred band, had such a blemish cast upon it by the Lord, when yet it was covered over with a mantle of connivence, and the practice of so many holy Patriarkes and Saints who were guilty of it: what shall bee said now of that uncleannesse, which pro∣claimes it selfe like Sodom? If Poligamy were a state of uncleannesse in Gods esteeme, and seldome went without a scare from Gods stroak (as in Jacob and David and Elbana's cases appeares, especially in that exorbitancy of Salomon) what shall be said of that which carries the bastard at the back, and wants the least rag of any veile to colour or ex∣cuse it? Attend this reason, and shunne this sin.

[Reas. 4] Fourthly, that must needs be looked unto jointly by both the couples,* 1.530 which hath such a covering faculty in it, and sets the varnish and lustre, upon each other endowment of it.* 1.531 My wife hath defects, but she is loyall: by unavoida∣ble errors she may offend, but by voluntary she will not. From her the honour of my marriage coms even when both of us are dead and gone, in our lawfull posterity, the Crowne of parents. She is beautifull, (saith one) per∣sonable, well descended, rich saith another; yea but she is chast, saith a third, this crownes all. What else were her beauty, but her bane? her devotion but profanenesse? She that thought no crumbe clave to her lips, because she had paid her vowes, yet escapes not her eternall reproach, be∣cause she was a disloyall harlot. Tell me, wert thou mar∣ried to a chast wife, blind of an eie, lame of an hand, a legge, whether wouldest thou change her for one sound in all, being unchast? I trow not. That which then co∣vers all wants, is worth the due improoving and carefull attendance.

[Reas. 5] Fiftly, this chastity is the corner stone, that holdes in all the parts of the building.* 1.532 A chast wife hath her eies open, eares watching, heart attending upon the welfare of the family, husband, children and servants: she thinks that all concerne her; estate, content, posterity: this rivets her in∣to the house: makes her husband trust to her, commit all to her, heart and all. But the unchast, having lost his or her heart, is loosened from the whole body, thinks nothing per∣teining to her: is ready to part the children, leaving the lawfully, and chusing the misbegotten for her portion, that so she may goe to her Paramour. That which Saul (through mistake) thought Michal would prove to David,* 1.533 that doth an unchast one (without doubt) prove to her husband, a very snare. That which I said before of love, may be said of her sister chastity, she is painfull, close, doth all things, hopeth, believeth, endureth all things without grudging. The frost is nothing by night, the heate by day, toile in both, because he loveth her, she him, each are faithfull, loiall to other. Who should not nourish that tree, which hath such branches?

Whereupon some thinke the English and Latine wordes (Chaste) do come from a greeke word, signifying to Adorne, noting that Chastity is one of the cheefe ornaments of the married: and so of all in either sexe. One saith. As the face of a statue or faire picture razed, or the head rent off: so is the most beautifull, rich, honorable person, if Chastity be gone. Its (as that father speaks) The Ornament of the No∣ble, the exaltation of the low, the Beauty of the Abject, the solace of the sorrowfull, the encrease of beauty, the glory of religion, the friend of the Creator.

[Reas. 6] Lastly,* 1.534 Chastity preserves marriage in honor, and ought to be jointly againe preserved, because it preserves that joint ••lessi••g of God, which makes it honorable: and that, in sun∣dry respects. 1. of the fruitfulnesse of the wombe. Many thinke a fruitfull posterity rather a crosse,* 1.535 then a blessing: but the godly are of his mynd, who sayde, she shalbe as the fruitfull vine,* 1.536 by the side of thine house, and thy children, as olyve plants round about thy table:* 1.537 The adulterer and adulteresse, are cursed with barren wombes, fruitlesse bodies. There is not now such a cursed water to try the uncleane, by rot∣ting the wombe, and bowells of the harlot; nor to become a water of blessing to the chast. But in stead thereof, there is a curse of God, upon the one, and a blessing upon the other. Even the adulterine mixtures of Beasts (as the Mule com∣ming from the Asse and the Mare) have a brande of barren∣nesse, nature stopping all infinitenesse and confusion, as most contrary to her selfe; how much more the bodies of adul∣terous husbandes and wives? and wheras it is objected, [Object.] some harlots are fruitfull, and some chast wyves are barren; [Answ.] the answere is, still the curse holdes upon the bastard fruite of the one, and the blessing upon the soule of the other. As the Prophet encourages those holy Eunuches, that kept God Sabbaths, that it should go better with them, then if they had sons and daughters;* 1.538 even a place should be given them in the house of God, and an everlasting name, that ne∣ver should be cut off: So doth he here, to all chast ones; when he cuts off the cursed race of the uncleane, then he continues to the godly (though barren) a better name then posterity

could atteyne unto. Secondly, to the chast belongs the bles∣sing of legitimation;* 1.539 but to the uncleane, the curse of illegiti∣mate ones;* 1.540 to bring Bastards into the family as lawful heyres, how execrable, and how unnaturall is it? The children of Gilead cast out Iephtah, bcause he was the strangers issue: Sara sayd well of Ishmael,* 1.541 The son of this stranger (though of her owne gift) shal not inherit with my son Isaac. But the curse of Adultrous is, to leave their wealth to bastards. As the Lord cursed the garment made of mixt lmsey and wolsey: the field sowne with sundry kinds of graine together: so much more, the illegitimate posterity of defiled persons. As Eagles fethers consume the fethers of other foules; so, the unlawfull brood of the uncleane devoures he lawfull, till at last that fire consume them and all, which is threatned the children of the whore & the Adulterer, for it was unlawful fire that begat thē, & the same shall kindle and burne, till it have destroied them. And thirdly,* 1.542 to the Chaste, evē a curse is turned to a blessing: The sorrowes of conception and birth, turne to the salvation of the pure and Chast (beeing faythfull) wheras the bles∣sing of marriage turneth to a curse to the other. As all things are impure to the impure,* 1.543 as the ceremony also made the things and vessel to be defiled, whether wood or stone, which the leper touched: But especially to the impure in bodies, yea, their very consciences are as impure as their flesh, and therby, whatsoever thy doe touch, use, partake, or possesse, is made filthy, because their nasty consciences tell them so. Even so, To the pure, all things become pure; As our Saviour saith of almes,* 1.544 Give almes to the poore of that you have, and all the whole lumpe of your estate, shalbe cleane vnto you:* 1.545 So here, If couples keep themselves pure, in body and spirit, pure are their prayers, readings, con∣ference, Sabbaths, Sacraments, service of God: yea in Christ, all things are pure unto them, their health, estate, eating and drinking, duties, fellowship and benevolence, bed and board, and all they take in hand. Now (to finish the reason) if it be under such a threefold blessing, then ought so happie a vertue as Chastity, to be jointly preserved by both the mar∣ried persons.

[Quest.] But heer it wilbe demanded, how should Chastity in Marriage be preserved? and in how many things standes it? I answ.* 1.546 In these foure. First in the Chastity of the spirit. Se∣condly, of prevention. Thirdly of the Bed. Lastly of the Body. [Answ.] For the first, the center of Chastity is the minde and spirit.* 1.547 If that bee pure, there neede bee no keepers (as he once saide of those Romanes,* 1.548 the richer sort of whom kept their wyves chastity,* 1.549 by Eunuches) if that bee uncleane, no keepers will serve the turne,* 1.550 unbrideled luste (like the wilde fig) will soone mount over the wall.* 1.551 The first care then must bee,* 1.552 to keepe that cleane from whence (as our Saviour saith) all filth proceedes, I meane the heart. Get the Lord Iesus to come in with his spirit, to clense thine husband, thy wife, to wash them, and make them undefiled to him selfe, as his own spouse, without spot, or wrinkle of wilfull basenes; Get him to clense that Augean stable, that throughsayre of base thoughts, (the master wheele of your soule, the will and af∣fections) the theefe that betrayes all: and then, the roote being pure, so shall the branches bee. Salomon aymes at this; my son give mee thy heart, and let thine eyes delight in my waies.* 1.553 And why? he addes, for an whore is a deepe ditch, and a strange woman is a narrow pit:* 1.554 q. d. if thine heart be pure thine eyes and senses,* 1.555 thy body and members shall fol∣low, and not delight in the false hiew of an harlot. Who is he whom God loves? surelye him who is upright in spirit, such an one, & onely such shalbe kept from her, but the sinner shalbe caught in her snares. If the thoughts bee impure, they will betray the body to the eyes, eares, and companie of the un∣cleane, and Satan will play the Proctor, soone bringing one uncleane person to another. There is a contemplative fil∣thines of the fancy and senses, (which the Lord compts the Adultery of the spirit) by basenes of spirit within, nouri∣shing unloyall conceits, inwarde dallyances, capering thoughts and fancies of uncleannes, both sleeping and wa∣king: and so set the doore opē to outward actuall defilement, (which although providence restreyne) yet are odious to God, and will break out in time. Yet I would here speake with caution. I know in the best, (unmarried or married)

there bee naturally planted these imaginary and Idëall un∣cleannesses, steaming up from the fornace of concupiscence, a naturall principle, not alway subject to the law of grace: it is a law of the members, in a double sense, a dye in graine; but yet, so long as it is abhorred, opposed, and quenched by all possible diligence, it shall not be imputed: (provided that the meanes to subdue it, bee not slighted.) But I speake of an heart permitted to it selfe, without controll, and bridle. For when the doore standes loose upon the latch, how soone may it be opened? Crackte glasses, we know, laste not long: they wayte but for the next knocke and then are gone.* 1.556 Alas! what thanke is it for a man not to bee uncleane, for lacke of opportunity! or because he was overruled for a time? The religion of these tymes, is come to this. Suspect by men what you will, so you can proove nothing, what care they for giving occasions of never so much suspicion. Is this thy ho∣nesty, that because thou canst weary them in the court, who accuse thee, therfore thou art chast? Nay, because thou darest purge thy selfe by oath, (like a forsworne wretch) therefore thou hast wyped every crumme of thy lips? Is not thy con∣science as a thousand witnesses nevertheles? I tell thee, thou hast thy brand in heaven already and perhappes upon earth too, or else art next doore to it. And what oddes is there be∣tweene these two, not to be approoved for chast, or to be thought uncleane? Its harde to say, whether many men and women have lost their credit or their chastity sooner. Luste if once it kindle, (as the sparkle will kindle to a great fire) will soone snare us, and bring foorth fruite unto death. But, if there be purenesse in the bent of the spirit, and the sway of the soule tendes to Chastity, the streames will easily become pure. So much for the first.

Secondly,* 1.557 there must be chastity of Prevention also. That is a narrow survey of the cinque-ports of the soule,* 1.558 by which traytors to Chastity arrive at the shore. Preserve the in-lets of your Soule, I meane the out warde senses, eares, eyes, inward fancy, and Idea's of evill, closely and firmely, and then the body will follow Still we must proceed by degrees. The spirit lets in sin to the body, by these conduits and

Channels. David sweetly prayeth, set a doore before my lips O Lord!* 1.559 so, set a watch before my senses, that there come in no vanity! Lord not only leade mee not thy selfe into tenta∣tion, but forestall all other tempters, that I bee not led: for thou preservest the soules of thy Saints, and he whom thou lovest, scapes them all, which another at one time or other, shall assuredly fall into.* 1.560 It was Davids misery to cast his eye from the roofe of his house, in an unwatchfull manner, and there wanted not one to further the occasion. So Sampson. Those who loath the act, will also abhorre the fomenters therof, all extravagances of senses, and sensuality: all setting themselves to sale, haunting of markets, fayres, night-metings, wakes, dancings, and common festivals, which with all the like occasions, Alehouse hauntings, or frequenting of for∣bidden and noted houses, as give ayme to the fleshe, to play her part: All needlesse travailes and jorneyes, without warrant,* 1.561 among multituds of all sorts all Dina-like rovings, & gaddings about, without due cause: all loose carrying about the eyes through the aire of the world; All gestures, beckes, aymes, of an unchast heart, soone appeare to such as are of like temper: birds of a fether will flocke together. Intempe∣rate diet, excesse of gamings, delights, pampering the flesh; amorous books, sonnets, stage-playes effeminate disguizings & arayings of one sexe in the others attire, (a thing censured by all writers) both morrall and divine; Iestings, and unsa∣voury rotten communications, allusions, similitudes and discourses: what are they, but as bawdes and Pandars to uncleannes? Drinking of hot inflaming wines or waters in an usuall distempered custome, (no infirmity of nature requiring) what are they (in bodies hot and lustfull of themselves) save inflamings of lust, and spurring of a running horse? I say especially in such persons, as neither make use of the ordinance, nor yet abstaine from excesse of provocation? Must not (of necessity) such sinfull plethory, have a like vent? And where there is no Chastity of prevention, making men abstinent from promiscuous occasions, is it like there will be Chastity of bodie, like occasion being offered of the one as the other? No doubtles, a body desirous to be Chaste, will

also be very cautelous of meate, drinke, fashions, softnes, delicacy and pleasures, which will be as oile to the flame: and he who is not chast in the suburbes, is not to be trusted in the city: Dives in all his riot and luxuriousnesse, must scape hard, if he were not incontinent.

This argument (I know) is common:* 1.562 I need not insist: save onely for the custome of these daies, which will needes separate meanes from endes, and bee seene going onward to the Den, and not seene to come back, and yet maintaine it, that they kept out! This is to divide the things, which God hath not separated: I give to all who would shunne this plague, the counsell belonging to it, soone, farre, slowly: Get from such occasions, as soone: goe from them as farre; and returne to them as slowly as possible thou canst. If thine eie, thy right hand, or foote cause thee to offend, pluck them out, and cut them off, (not as Origen did carnally) and cast them from thee; but make thy selfe a spirituall Eunuch for the Kingdome of God, and for chastity, use all contrary meanes, of holding under thy flesh, and boxing it till it be black and blue (to use Pauls word) if thou wilt preserve thy vessell in honour:* 1.563 yea, count all too little. If this coun∣sell be meet for the married themselves who are under the remedy, what shall be said to the unmarried? Surely I say, touch not pitch lest thou be defiled.* 1.564 Make covenants with your eies with Iob; remember our Saviours divinity, beyond the Pharisees: forefeele all your steps and passages; put your knife to your throates, if ye be given to your appetite, and venture not upon forbidden dainties, to try if they will surfet you. But, if after all meanes, both of prevention, and preservation of body and spirit from this tainte, yet you feele your natures to recoile, and concupiscence to want eares,* 1.565 then heare that voice behind you, saying, marry and burne not. But yet, take this counsell with you, still carry this rule of prevention with you into that estate, lest you marry and burne too, and so the disease will, if not be worse for the remedy, yet may prove never the better for it.

The third is,* 1.566 the chastity of the bed. The Apostle tells

us here, the bed is undefiled. Surely (as hee told his chil∣dren, at his death, they should find their Kingdome, so I may say of this) It is as its used, and kept. For its the great wisdome of God, which hath so concealed our infirmity, and covered it with honour, that the bed should be honourable. But it imports us so to keepe it then: and that, against a double infirmity. The one of snaring, the other of defiling us.* 1.567 By snaring, I meane, defrauding each other, by any meanes, under any colors: as when by discord, and diffe∣rence of mindes, the body is disabled: when the one party, denies due benevolence to the other;* 1.568 by pretended ex∣cuses, to satisfie a base heart: when religion and consci∣ence, or infirmity are falsely alledged to crosse the ordi∣nance; In this case let the Apostle overrule: Let the husband and wife,* 1.569 yield each to other, &c. refuse not the lawful and so∣ber use of the remedy, (except when both in private consent in some extraordinary duty, for some little season before) some adde the preparation of the Sabbath, rather I suppose from a pious heart, then the warrant of the word, although I wholly yeeld to the equity of that abstinence, so there be no snare of a rule: for hee that generally followes this light must not be snared by any rule (except he have vowed it voluntarily, and then it bindes in another kinde.) But, I leave the decision of that, to the wisdome of such as can discerne between expediency and inexpediencie, lest Satan prevent us: for we know his devices how he seekes to snare them that are weake, against their intentions, and under colour of a better purenesse, hee seekes to breed a wearinesse and disdeine of the ordinance. He is an uncleane spirit, and cannot brooke that which holinesse hath invented, to pre∣vent sin. Let such as are privy to this rebellion, humble them∣selves and repent, remembring that marriage takes off the propriety which each had before in himself, and gives a∣way the power of the body of each to other without con∣tradiction. And, there is more in this, then most will take notice of. And some openly professe that they abhor this judgement, being yet expressely grounded upon the letter of Scripture.

The second extreme is on the left hand,* 1.570 when men abuse marriage to a defiling of themselves, and under pretence of generall lawfulnesse, runne into excesse. This is as odious as the former. Its not the wisdome of a Christian, to chuse the uttermost brinke of the river to walke upon, because it threatens slipping in: nor of his liberty, because its allowed. Our greatest offences are commonly about thinges lawfull, when as we dare not attempt the unlawfull: whereas re∣ligion is much more tried in the use of liberties allowed us. And its strange under what sorry and thin covers, the con∣science of one will shroud it selfe when as once it hath cast off the love of closenesse: halfe a loafe is better to a Liber∣tine, then no bread. Whereas a sound spirit should thinke thus, In this God tries me, what mettall I am made of, whe∣ther to betender of a command, when I have the bridle laid upon my owne neck, or to runne away with my uttermost liberty, when I have some granted to me. Doubtlesse hee who will take all that he can, in liberties, shewes he is but kept in by violence, in commands, and but for shame, would desire Gods cordes were more slacke, and suted to his lustes. I speak, because it might scarcesly be believed what basenes, immoderatenesse, and licentiousnesse growes in many even by the occasion of the former point, of benevolence. They will stretch it beyond the boundes of modesty, and bring themselves into such a bad custome, that a Beare robd of her whelpes may bee met with and stopped, as easily as they crossed of their lascivious and luxurious appetite. Some bru∣tishly imagining,* 1.571 that the very law of God forbidding car∣nall knowledge (during the tearme forbidden) was but a ceremony, not grounded upon the perpetuall naturall ab∣surdity of the action: wherein they bewray themselves by their swinish appetites, to have drowned the true dictamen of nature in themselves, which most heathens themselves acknowledged.

Others are wholly ignorant of all purenesse and chastity, in the demeanure of themselves each to other: for though Isahac and Rebecca sported themselves,* 1.572 yet doubtlesse in no base or uncomely manner very Philosophers and Politicians

in their lawes made for the good of Commonwealthes, led by no Scripture or religion, yet for the preservation of health, vigor and strength of body, for the shunning of diseases occasioned by this, as well as uncleane mixtures, have set downe their judgements touching the modesty and mediocrity of marriage converse, forbidding frequencie and licentious use of it; I had rather expresse my selfe so, under their person, then in mine owne words, knowing to what language he exposeth himselfe of scorners and pro∣fane people,* 1.573 who doth but glance this way. I say not as they say (Plato and others) once weekly, or thrice moneth∣ly might bee a modell of convenience in this kinde, for the greater part of number of mens bodies: because I know, there can bee no set rule for all persons, seasons of marri∣age, and varieties of bodies, because variety of subjects, causeth variety of rule. But this I affirme, that if heathens could rove at such a marke, in the dimnesse of their light, and all for the restraint of excesse: I should thinke it rather meet that Christians, especially in yeares, (who by their place should teach the younger to be sober) should rather aime at being under the line, then above it. But as it is not youth (where there is a chast spirit) that can provoke to ex∣cesse in this kind: so neither is it age (in any profession) if it be once tainted with defilednesse, which will perswade men to moderatenesse: but as bruite beasts, their will is their law, and even in those things they know, yet they corrupt them∣selves to the griefe and sad woe of their companions, who know not how to redresse it. Loth I am to speake that in this argument, with many sentences, yea in two wordes, if one might serve; and heartily wish, which yet never will bee obteined, that (at least) the religious might be lawes to themselves in such kinds. But the experience of the contrary may plead some pardon for that little I have said. Some must speake, and where more aptly, then in a treatise for the nonce.

But how shall we know when this due measure is obser∣ved?* 1.574 Surely then when snaring concupiscence is prevented, and fitnesse of body and minde therby purchased, freely to

walke with God, and to discharge duties of calling, without distraction or annoyance. And so doing, much fredome may be enjoyed (both the former extremities being avoyded) and Gods wrath prevented: which I cannot say, whether it more hangs over the heads of superstitious Papists, for vowing a forced chastity, contrary to the expresse rule of the word, or upon married persons,* 1.575 for abuses in eyther of the two kindes. Concerning the former, we know both into what odious enormity of luste the Lord hath suffred them to be plunged, both unnaturall, and unlawfull; making them the execration of the world, for their lust. Touching the latter, I leave it to the experience of the wise to consider;* 1.576 Both what vexation the neglect of this ordinance hath caused to many, who un∣der pretexts of their owne, have refused the mutuall due to each other; who afterwards, seeing what wofull snares they have brought themselves into, as seeking the Company of harlots and adulterers, have bin deeply terrifyed, wishing too late, with sorrow, that they had denyed themselves and sub∣jected them to the ordinance. And so for the other extre∣mity, when due regard of Chastity hath bin neglected, what weaknes, diseases, inability of body and minde to calling and duty hath ensued!* 1.577 Yea further, when presumptuous lust hath broken boundes, of womanly modesty, compting all seasons alike, what markes hath God set upon their owne bodies for their incontinency, & so upon the bodies of their Children, yea and upon their mindes, and whole constitution, the one by disguizement of countenance, the other by defi∣lednesse with the like sin, (for what was bred in bone, will not eazily out in flesh:) when as I say, men have met with these penalties, then they have justly confessed wrath to ceaze upon them. And indeed, although there were no religion, yet if men were but Philosophers, to understand the naturall mischief and poison of such wayes, they coulde not but loath them. Therfore, let a wise mediocrity be ob∣served: sanctifying our fellowship and fruite of bodies by earnest prayer, that both may be cleane to us; Make not that helpe, which God hath given as water to quench, as oile to enflame; There is a white Devill aswell to corrupt, as a black

to abhorre the remedie. But such debauched filthines the loosenes of our age is come to, in all kind of lust, that I ve∣rily thinke if those chast Platos and Lawgivers of old times, were now living, although Heathens, yet would be scorned by many Epicures and Libertines in the Church: who thinke it a curbe to their will, not to live as they list, worse then beasts, and Savages. Be we therfore, who stand to Gods barre, a rule to our selves, following the steps and practice of such, as in our owne degree, and ranke go for the most mo∣derate in eyther sexe. As hee saide of the endles questions arising about morrall actions, let it bee, as a wise man would judge, so I say of this: for questions of this nature are so impossible to be decyded punctually, as other the like are of fashions, and liberties of our common life, that except they be put to a comprimize, there wilbee no ende made. So much for this third.

The fourth and last Chastity is that of the body.* 1.578 This I make one duty by it selfe. For although its true, that if the three former were kept, this would follow alone; yet I say, when all is done, the body is not to be trusted too farre. This sin of uncleannesse is a running sore in our flesh, hardly cured. Even many (otherwise good) persons, though kept from the act, yet by all their strife have scarse felt themselves free, through a bodily propensenesse to this evill. And Satan is ready to do in this, so in other sins, even by how much the sin is loathed, by so much the more to exasperate this sin: not to speake of the falls of those worthies in Scripture. So that, except there bee a speciall arming our selves, against Snares objected and layd in our waies (which are innumerable in the lives of such men, as have to meddle in the affayres of this life) and that, with resolution, both before, and upon the occasion, to preserve our selves: all our former course taking to shunne temptations by our senses and the like, will do us no pleasure, when they are brought home by the Devill to our doore, and layde in our lap, presented in a Lordly dish, with secrecie, ease and fayre Colors. Meere suddennesse of affront (marke what I say) when nothing else could do it, hath prevented some, that it hath made them all their life,

slaves and miserable. Take heed, bring not uncleane bodies to the marryed estate and bed: lest being marryed, this dog be not easily rated from the carrion. There must aswell bee a fidelity of body as spirit, an holy strength to ward off blowes, to cut off deadly temptations by the middle, by our well ordred members, as not to call them in, by well awed senses and carriage. Chast Ioseph was not only resolved not to pro∣voke himselfe to sin,* 1.579 but when he ws suddainly surprized by the offer of an harlot unsought for, he abhorred the object, as if he had beene warned beforehand. Its one thing for a man to have grace, another thing to have such a presence of it, that when our base hearts are in a readines to embrace, present grace is nearer the doore to thrust it away, & abhor it. There is more danger in a prepared snare, made ready to our hande, then in the speculation or foresight of that, which may possibly befall us. So much for this fourth: which I call Chastity of the body, in a speciall sense, to note, even how the whole man ought to be as well strengthned against the suddennesse of a temptation, as beforehand kept from the meanes leading therto. And perhaps there are some sorts of men, whose sad experience will construe my meaning herein, better then others can.

I now conclude the whole Chap. with use of exhortation and with some short direction to set it home.* 1.580 First I say, let all who desire to preserve the honor of their marriage, looke to their Chastity. Drinke of the waters of thine owne well, but, let the Cisterne bee thine owne; Seeke not to strangers;* 1.581 give not thy strength to the harlot, and thy yeeres to the cruell. Abhorre all sweetenesse of stollen waters, let not thy teeth water after forbidden deynties, lest thou find bitternesse in the end. If medling with thy neighbors hedge, thou mayst feare lest a serpent bite thee, how much more with his bed? Let thine owne wife delight thee, shee is the woman whom thou chosest for the companion of thy youth: transgresse not against her therefore. Let her love satisfie thee, and her affections equall thy embraces: let thine appetite be subject to him, and share the duty, and the ho∣nor of it, betweene you both: and keep chaste till the com∣ming

of the Lord Iesus. Know that this is an equall duty of both, God having bestowed the power of each over other, upon both: Thinke not thy husband tyed to this rule, O wo∣man; nor thou thy wife tied, O husband, and the other free: the tye is equall.

Its not jealousie of each other,* 1.582 which can preserve this honor; no, its the Canker of marriage. Bathsheba describing the condition of a good woman, tells us, The husband of such a woman,* 1.583 rests in her, his heart setles upon her. Nothing, that a wise man, observing vertuous qualities in his wife, iudgeth her the same towardes himselfe, which he is to her. A good man (such an one as Joseph was to Mary, a just man, one that had no worse thoughts of jealousie towards her, then shee had to him, loth to entertaine the least suspicious thought against her) will alway esteeme her by himselfe. Why should I thinke, that her Conscience, Chastity, is not as tender to her, as mine to my selfe? what can it come from, save a base heart, enclined to treachery against my wife, that I should imagine, my wife should bee false to mee? Surely were it not a sin, to do such a thing, or wish it done, it were but just that an unjustly jealous husband should meete with that he feares, that so he might be jealous for somewhat. Many civilly chast women, having bin drawne to commit this folly, by no greater motive, then the vexation of jealousie: as not fearing God, and therfore thinking they were as good commit it, as be alwayes falsely charged with it. And marke it, Its commonly the sin of couples unequall in yeeres, who having marryed yonger husbandes, wives, then themselves, lye opē to this temptation, Alas; I am too old to give him, or her content, they seeke such as are like them∣selves; when as yet the parties are as cleere from such asper∣sions, as the child new borne: what? hast thou offended once, and is there no remedye but thou must soder it by a worse? I speake not, as if I would make men Pandars and Bawdes to their wives, through their folly and carelesse confidence, exposing them to any temptations, and winking betweene the fingers, for what is this, save to give ayme to a chaste woman, to be lewd? No, But to shame that impotencie and

basenesse of either sex, whereby each is prone, contrary to the good cariage, and approoved conversation of the other, yet to surmise in them, falsehood and ill meaning. What can be such an incendiary, to set all on fire between couples, as this cursed mischiefe of jealousie? which is ofttimes (upon meere mistake of some word, guise, or action, nothing tending that way) rooted in the spirit of man, or wo∣man, that neither all the assurances of truth betweene them∣selves, nor yet by mutuall friends, can compound the matter so, but still there must be a pad in the straw, and ther smoke must argue some fire: And yet when all is done, it prooves a meere Idoll of fancie, nothing in all the world.

The Lord indeed appointed a triall for the jealous man, against his wife: but wee must not conceive this was to breed or nourish causelesse conceits: it was no doubt first brought to the judges in criminall causes, to determine what the matter was, and (as our Inquests doe) to cut off all meere surmises: else what a bondage had it beene for a wife to be so hurried and defamed? And although it be true, that for the hardnesse of their hearts, the Lord permitted more liberty to men at that time, (being sturdy and rebel∣lious) should that be any encouragement now to Christi∣ans to nourish such trash in themselves to make their spirits, their prayers, their whole life sad and miserable to themselves, and to be so imbittered each against other, that even when they would faine shake off their owne con∣ceits they should not be able? I say no more of this elfe of causelesse jealousies: but this for the party sinning, no man shall need to wish his greater torment, then himselfe hath created to himselfe; let him thanke himselfe, that his owne sinne hath eaten up the marrow of his bones. The greatest pity is to the party innocent and sinned against, who is to be advised, while there is any hope of recovery, to strive by all caution and exact circumspection of carriage, to tender the weaknesse of the other, hoping that love rather then anger hath bred it:* 1.584 but by no meanes disdaine them, and to walke loosely under pretext of innocency. But if the disease be so rooted, that it will not be healed; let them enjoy their

uprightnesse (for the way of God, is strength to the upright, as Salomon saith, Prov. 10. 29.) and not be dismaied: but looke up to God, who can cleare their righteousnesse as the noone day, and plead their cause against their oppressour: joyning prayer to God to quit them accordingly. This I have said of injust jealousie: as for that which is just, I say as much against the guilty party, wishing the law were as strong now, as it hath formerly beene against all violaters of this sacred knot. And for this branch so much.

I had here purposed to insert some other watchwordes and directions: but I consider that in the latter part of this Treatise more full occasion will be given of this Argument. So much therefore shall serve for this Chapter.

CHAP. IX.

Conteining the description of the 4. last Ioint duty of the Marryed, viz. Consent.

THe fourth and last duty equally concerning both parties married is,* 1.585 Consent, and harmony of course each to another. Both the former of chastity, and this, doe grow as springs from the stocke of love: the former in the bodies, this latter in the lives of both. For this I would have the Reader conceave, that the former of love, and this of con∣sent, doe not differ, save as the roote and the branch, the cause and the effect. Love being the noble groundworke, this the sweet building upon the former foundation: both making up marriage, to grow to an happy frame and buil∣ding, which who so behold, can no other judge, but those parties are well met, and dwell commodiously: But will better appeare in particulars how the one differs from other.

This then is the point, that both married persons ought studiously to maintaine this grace of mutuall consent, as a maine peece of that, which must maintaine the honour of

their marriage. [Reas. 1] Such a thing is this of consent. As may ap∣peare, both by the judgements of all those,* 1.586 who either (by wofull experience) could never attaine it,* 1.587 though their eager desire after it may proove it to be the crowne of mar∣riage, or the more happy experience of such as have at∣teined it, according to their desire, and found it to bee no lesse, then I have spoken. For the former of these, who need to question it, but that must needs be most honorable, for lacke whereof, the estate and contentation, yea whole welfare of thousands have perished? Who covets that with earnestnes, which hath not some rare felicity in it? And when a man hath with all his skill, sought that, which yet (when all is done) hee cannot atchieve, yea is further off from, what remedy, but such a one must needes lie downe in sorrow?* 1.588 If the deferring of the soules desire, is the fainting of it, what is the utter defeating of it? when as, not for the present only, but for adoe (for ought appeares) a man foresees his own misery, and must of necessity survive the funerall of his owne happinesse.

For the latter,* 1.589 who doubts of the honour and price of that commodity,* 1.590 unto which, they who have enjoyed it, doe esteeme all as meere drosse and dung? Even all their wealth, beauty, and birth, which yet doe much conferre to a comfor∣table life. What shall it profit a man to winne all these, and to lose his owne content, in a sweet amiablenesse of con∣versation? Or what shall a man give for a recompence of it, if it should be in hazard? Thus will every one speake of this blessing, except he be a foole, to whom the Sunshine is wearisome, for the continuall shining of it (and yet this faire wether may doe hurt, so cannot consent) or such as to whom nothing will seeme pretious, save by the want of it? As for all wise men, they will affirme it; That then which in both the confessions both of desirers, and enjoyers, makes so much for the honour of marriage,* 1.591 justly deserve the joint consent of both parties to ensue and mainteine.

[Reas. 2] Secondly, the very nature of this jewell, the nobility, the praise and price of it, in generall, is a signe of the worth, and how it deserveth the joint care of couples to maintaine

it. It may challenge equality with the things of greatest price, and excellency! Oh thou sweet amiablenesse and concord, what may not be said of thee? Thou art the of∣spring of God, the fruite of Redemption, the breath of the spirit: Thou art the compound of contraries, the har∣mony of discords, the order of Creation, the soule of the world: without which, the vast body thereof would soone dissolve it selfe by her owne burden;* 1.592 as wearisome to it selfe, and fall in sunder by peacemeale from each other. By thee, oh sweet peace, and concord, the heavens are combi∣ned to the earth, by their sweet influence; by thee, the earth confines the unlimited waters, within bounds, both earth and waters nourish those inferior vegetables; by thee those same creatures, nourish the sensible; by thee, those sensible againe returne their food to the most noble members of the world, the reasonable; that so the spirituall part, which is above the rest, I meane the inner man, and new creature might by them, for them, and in them all, honour his Creator. Oh thou divine consent, the sweet temperature of bodily com∣plexions, the blessed union of soule and body, the lawe of government to Commonwealths and societies, the band of perfection in the Church, the reconcilement of God with man, the recollection and confederating of all things in one, both in heaven and earth, the life of the family, the daughter of love, sister of peace, and mother of blessing. Canst thou then, who art the life of all things, chuse but be the honour of marriage? Shall all other creatures know no other marriage band, and shall the truly married be with∣out it? Is it so sweet and good a thing to see brethren to dwell together in affection, although they cannot alway in place and habitation, and must it not needs be more sweet to them, who are both in affection, and habitation insepara∣ble? If in distance of bodies by necessity, yet if it be so sweet, what is it in the necessity of each others presence? All this considered, what a joint care ought there to bee in couples to nourish it? How stupid doe they declare them∣selves to be, who doe not feele it? The Beasts, the Birds, the Plants are sensible of it, and strive to put forth themselves

to all mutuall offices of service each to other, for the im∣proving of it, as loath to forge such a jewell, and shall married Christians, be senslesse and carelesse of it?

[Reas. 3] Thirdly, that which is honorable both in the coherence and consequence of it,* 1.593 deserves mutuall care in couples to preserve it betweene themselves. But such is this consent. For marke, when love hath once combined and incorpora∣ted two to one, what an instinct doth it breed, and what influence doth it instill into each party, for the usefull servi∣ces belonging to their place? Each Bee flies abroad to work and carry home to her hive, being once appropriated to it. Even so here. Readinesse and willingnesse in each party, to his and her office, the man to toile without in weary labour and travaile, and the woman within doores, both without complaint; these ••low from the geniall consent of each with other. Hence nothing is thought too much, benevolence, providence, forbearance,▪ patience, fidelity, secrecy; all vertuous offices: The husband complaines not, that the burden lies all upon his shoulders, the wife (as weake as she is) mutters not, that her sicke husband lies upon her hand, and spends all from her, like to leave her in want. Both cheerefully goe on, acted by Providence to looke upon a promise, and all because a secret accord of spirit puts them forward to the work. The reason comes to this issue: That which is as usefull and gainfull, as its pleasant, and content∣full is as the dew of Hermon,* 1.594 and the oile upon the head of Aaron, in both so much graces, marriage deserves that the married should enshrine it in their bosomes, and nourish it with joint endeavor.

[Reas. 4] Lastly this grace of consent, is that which brings the Lord himselfe,* 1.595 to rule and reigne in the family over the married themselves and all that pertaine to them, then well doth it deserve the care of all married persons to joine themselves in the promoting therof. Its an honour to an house to be frequented by the great and honorable: How much more when the Lord of heaven and earth, shall condescend to dwell in our houses, to come in, to sit, and sup with us? whom should he sooner doe so unto, then to the peaceable

and consenting? we know that old maxime of Machiavell, if thou wilt reigne, divide: And our Savior affirmes it, If Satan cast out Satan,* 1.596 how shall his Kingdome endure? No surely. Satan must cast out unity and amity, if he meane to reigne, that he may bring in hellish discord and confusion. Even so if God will reigne, hee must cast out Satan, that he may bring in union and consent between couples. There is no agreement,* 1.597 betwixt Christ and Belial, light and darknes: Then (and never till then) shall religion, prayer, Sabbathdu∣ties, holy exercises, love to the Saints be enterteyned, when consent hath taken up the roome of each others heart. So much may serve for Reasons.

* 1.598But wherin (may some say) standes this Consent? [Answ.] I answer, By these few heads it may bee conceived, (for the parti∣culars of consent they are infinite, as the occasions of life are:) First in consent of spirit, of minde (I meane) and affecti∣on. Secondly consent of speech,* 1.599 or the tongue. Thirdly con∣sent of practice and endeavors. For the first of these; The principle of marriage consent must be rooted in the heart;* 1.600 That each thinke and affect the same things; As in Ezekiel its saide of the beasts and the wheeles, that when the one went forward, the other did so, and when the beasts were lifted up, the wheeles were lifted up, for the spirits of the bea••ts, were in the wheeles. So ought it to be between cou∣ples, one judgement, one mind, one heart, one soule in two bodies; the spirit of the wife in the husband, and his in the Lord. That which the flatterer saith in the Cōedy, (the hatred of the name beeing remooved) that should the wife say to the husband: Sayst thou a thing? So say I. Deniest thou? I deny it too. And in a word; I am prepared for the nonce to agree with thee in all things, good & honest. What is more beauti∣full to behold in marriage, thē that wherof it is a Resemblāce, I meane, the harmony betweene the Lord Iesus the head, and the members, to wit his Church? Reade the Canticles: See how the Church ecchoeth her husbands voyce, in all he speaks, see how shee pleases her selfe in his comely propor∣tion, attire, gestures! And he againe in hers; how shee depends wholly upon his becke and countenance, joies in his pre∣sence,

mournes in his absence, repozes her selfe in his bosome, beeing asleep, watcheth his awaking, followes after him, hangs upon him in his departing, longs for his returne, and having lost him, runs after him as one distracted, and be∣wraies her life to be bound up in his, as Iacobs in Benjamins. This inward complacence, welpleasing, and welapayed∣nesse of couples in each other, is the very quintessence of marriage peace, and contentment. As in the mysticall body of Christ, we see what an instinct is in them, to maynteine their owne beeing in the welfare of each other. All envy, wrath, suspicion, jealousie, unkindnes, pride, censure, and whatsoever else savoring of selflove and seperation, beeing odious to them. Each doing his owne service, content with his owne portion, mourning with any that is ill at ease, and glad of their welfare.

Secondly, this consent must be in the speech and language of them both:* 1.601 Its true generally, but in this point specially, That speech is the discoverer of the mind: Looke what the abundance of the heart is, that will vent it selfe at the mouth. So the husband and wife should answer to each other, as Iehoshaphat to Iehoram,* 1.602 I am as thou art, my people are as thine,* 1.603 my horses as thine. Yea, the speech of each to other, should bee (without flattery) as the glasse, to behold each other in. As face answers to face in the water, so doth a man accomodate himselfe to his friend (sayth Salomon) how much more the husband and wife to each other? They should even resemble each the others frame and temper (in the Lord) with all ingenuity. As the beames do represent the Sun, in her heat and light: so should the sweet carriage of the wife, argue the body which gives her influence, even her husbands vertues.

And lastly, there ought not onely to be this harmony in presence onely,* 1.604 but in absence also, even in the way of their Conversation: abroad in company, in duties of Sabbath, of Christian communion, whether together or asunder, such should be the reflexion of a wives carriage, that all that see her, may see the wisdome, thoughts, affections of the hus∣band in her: not a carriage of her owne, as of one severed

from his way slighting his, as if shee were wiser; but humbly submitting judgment, will and spirit to his in the Lord: and where there is any difference, so it be grounded, keeping it secret, and acquainting God with it, as shee did when she felt strife in her wombe, that he might reconcile it, and settle it aright in time: For in such a Case, discreet concealment will far sooner reduce them together, then open expression of their differences. The actions of the one should bee the shadow of the others, yea a modell thereof. As it was once betweene David and his new subjects, whatsoever liked David,* 1.605 that was presently pleasing to all his people; they agreed at an haires bredth. This threefold corde of heart, mouth and worke, is not easily broken.

[Vses.] I shall make these three appear better,in uses of the point, to the which I hasten. [Vse. 1] First then, what bitter reproofe is this, to the most even of such as seeme to stand to Gods barre and triall?* 1.606 I passe by the ruder sort of barbarous people, rusticall and profane,* 1.607 (who never yet came into the garden, where this grace grew) such as passe their daies, eyther in brutish and Nabalish churlishnes, brawling, fighting and quarrel∣ling together; or else consent onely in evill, serving each the others turne, according to those vices they are enclined unto, as the world, to take together portions for their childrē by hooke or crooke, or pleasures and libertyes, or pride of life, and fashions, or envious pursuit of their Enem••es, slander, or the like sins of the tongue. I say, to leave such, who would looke for such differences of spirit, and temper, among such as pretend great zeale in profession? A man would thinke, when hee lookes narrowly into them, that they are set as marks of opposition, each to other, then resemblers of their affections, joyes, and desires: verely I have often seen it (to the shame of such I speake it) that among some ignorant couples,* 1.608 whom onely naturall likenes of maners, or civill education hath handsomed, there is found more love and accorde, then among some such, as daily keep on foot the worship of God in their families. Shall I praise them in this? no surely. I know, the sorrow which heerby you procure to your selves, is punishment sufficient for your folly; But you

must not escape so: but shame you for such contrariety of spirit: Many men and women, beeing so crosse each to other, that they thinke this consent rather a weake and seely fruite of a pusillanimous spirit, yea a shame rather then an honor to their Marriages! And that then they have quit themselves best, when they can whet their teene upon one another, jarring and jangling, and pleasing their froward, and ill a payde spirits, in displeasures and differences. And, can you, or dare you neverthelesse, board, converse and bed together, and goe to the house of God, and there heare, and partake the Sacrament of communion, as if there were nothing amisse? Can two walke together except agreed?* 1.609 Or do you cast arrowes and darts,* 1.610 and say, you are in sport! what villanous hypocrisie is this, thus to habit your selves in sin, that the cu∣stome of it, should make you senslesse of it, and cause a falling sicknesse of discord, that you know not the way of geting in againe? All day warre and deadly feud, and yet lye down at night, and wipe off each crum, from the lips? Nay, what do such save make the Ordinances of God, covers of their shame & wickednesse! I doubt whether such or these, or they whose debates breake out into separation, so that neither towne nor country can holde thē, are the worse of the two! I say in point of presumption, though their sin bee not so exemplary. What a pageant is this for the Devill to laugh at? how out of measure sinfull is your sin? Tygers and Beares have their agreement, and shall such distempers reigne in the marriages of the religious? Shall fraud and oppression bee found in the seate of justice? or a froward, waspish spirit, in the proper element of peace and consent. Where shall peace be looked for, if you disagree in marriage? If you war and contend, who should agree? Or, who should go about the families of religious ones, to seeke out matches, when as such as these, hatch up a brood, by their lives and examples, more fit for the Divell to governe in, then the spirit of God which is peacea∣ble? Shall such as should one day, judge the world, (if they bee as they seeme) yet be faine to referre the desperate quarrels of wife and husband, to the arbitrement of friends? By which occasion, matters growing to be ript up betweene

you, perhaps the coales of Iuniper are blowne to a greater heate, then before, by these bellowes, and the hope of ac∣cord set further off, then it was. Surely, as the corruption of the finest bodies, is most loathsome, so are the contentions of such as should bee most quiet, commonly most tedious: for sinne loves to bee out of measure sinfull. So much of this first.

[Vse 2] Secondly, this should be abasement, and deepe humbling, to all such couples (out of whose brests this sinne hath not chased away all remorse and tendernesse.* 1.611) Oh man! Re∣member, the Lord hath created thee in his Image, made thee as God to thy wife, a man of more solid mould and frame, able to beare impressions and occasions of discontent.* 1.612 Its the honour of a man to passe by an offence: The Lord ab∣horres thou shouldst weaken thy selfe by a wilful opposition of a weaker sex; what a poore victory is that, when thou hast matched a seely woman! No, thine honour stands ra∣ther in passing by her folly and weaknesse: not in a currish blockishnesse, not in a surly stoutnesse, and pride of stomack, not in a controlling, imperious carriage, and thwarting tongue; This is to betray thy owne strength, and to out∣shoot the divell in his owne bow. This is to smite all due honour out of thy wives heart; and, (as oile to the flame) to enflame and provoke her spirit, to be sevenfold worse. Rather doe in such a case, as workmen in colepits use to do, when the candle burnes blue, they suspect the dampe to bee a comming, which would stifle them, and therefore they strive to get out, who can get first, and when the dampe is over, then to worke againe. So, give place to this dampe and distemper of discord and contention, and when its over, then returne to thy wonted course. And, in conclusion, looke to find small fruit of violent striving: For, as Latimer said, he that gets the victory here, gaines sorrow, and he that loses, loses peace. The gaines which thou gettest thou maist put in thine eye, and see never the worse: Thou shalt repent thee at leasure, that thou diddest not redeeme thy peace upon harder termes, then the curbing of a base appetite. Thou shalt lose thy sweet words, in thy bitternes,

thy liberty with God, to lift up pure hands without wrath or doubting, shall degenerate into feare, barrennes and bon∣dage, thy praiers shall be choaked in thy throate, and perish in the uttering, which thou wert once wont to powre out purely, confidently, cheerfully: Therefore obey this charge of God, and prosper. If the Lord blesse not thine endeavor, yet, its better for thee, to deny thy selfe, and to waite the issue with patience, then bootelesse to strive against the streame. The like I say to thee oh woman, Is this a life plea∣sing to thee, alway to live like a Salamander in the fire? Is this an Element so welcome to thee?

Consider (poore wretch) how thou degeneratest from thy creation:* 1.613 Thou wert moulded by the hand of a wise workman, to be a tender and yeelding nature, the weaker vessell; and doest thou delight in a spirit of contradiction? wilt thou resist thy Maker and thy head, both at once? Shouldest thou thinke it an honour, to thee, to carry in thy bosome a proud wrathfull and shrewish heart, and in thy head a stinging tongue? Oh, it were more agreeing to thee, to be melting, milde, and overcome evill with good! If this ought to be done to an enemy abroad, that if he need, thou shouldest cloath him, feed him: If to him who reviles thee,* 1.614 thou shouldst returne good language; if to him who would take thy cloake, thou shouldst cast thy coate also (to shew how meeke thou art) that so thou mightst bee like to thy father, who doeth good to the evill: what then shalt thou doe to thy husband, that thou mightst resemble the Lord Iesus his tendernesse to his Church, whereof thy marriage is a shadow? As thou wouldst that Christ should handle thee, so do thou oh man, handle thy wife, and thou oh wife, thine husband! Goe together (as once a couple did, being convinced by their Ministers reproofe,) and breake heart each in others bosome, confesse how farre you are off, from your first frame, what dishonour to the gospell you have beene, and wofull joint enemies to that joint and mutuall peace which both of you should have hatched and nourished betweene you: Beseech the Lord to shed his love and spirit into your bosomes, his peaceable, amiable, quiet

spirit, which can turne your swordes into mattocks, and speares into plowshares: who can make the oxe and the lyon, the beare and the lambe to feed together, that is, take out your felnesse, and put into you an heart of Amity and con∣sent. Then shall you bee another while for the honor of that Ordinance with equall endeavors, which all this while you have so reproched.

[Vse 3] And thirdly, let it bee admonition unto both parties; and first,* 1.615 let mee say this, Enter not into marriage, in a confidence of your owne strength when couples first meete together, youth,* 1.616 strength, and carnall Confidence upon their owne meanes, with fleshly content each in other, makes them dream•• of a dry summer, and thinke I shall not be mooved; It wil••e alway hony moone with me: as if the bitternes of an unquiet heart were passed away. But poore soules! you know no more your owne spirits, then Hazaël did, when hearing the Prophet telling what a cruell wretch he should proove,* 1.617 he asked, Am I a dog? to do such things. You dawb with untempered morter, which will fall off in frosty wether; But, when experience hath schooled you, and shewed you the discontents of marriage, and with what bitter ingre∣dients, sin hath poysoned your hoped successes; whē husband prooves an unthrift, wife an ill housewife, businesse in the world crosse and left-handed, when also cares, feares, losses, charge of children, sorrowes of the wombe, and nursery, bad children, debts and straits come upon you at once, (none wherof you have grace to prevent) oh then! you see that your first merry meeting will not beare off all assaults. And yet, what should I speake of such things? when a base heart in the middest of all contrary mercies, pamperd with the creature, but wickedly proud and unthankful, can and oftner doth cause this woe to couples, more then all adversity! Oh, this canker growes out of blessing, oftner then affliction! wherfore, enter this estate, with selfdeniall! humble your selves, bee as Ephraim, who was as an heifer unused to the yoke,* 1.618 but after, he repented, and smote upon his thigh: Do you so beforehand, and beg armor of God for the hardest: bost not of the best, ere you put off your harnesse: the best will alway save it selfe.

Secondly,* 1.619 know this, That although the Lord should free you from such disasters,* 1.620 yet marriage of it selfe (without speciall grace) will try of what mettall you are made. Even meer continuance of time, Custome and usuall society, will (by corruption) procure a fulsomenesse, & satiety, yea a wea∣rinesse of each other. Acknowledge therfore that this frame of your marriage will not stand alone, it needes daily props, to keep off an impatiēt spirit! For why? The meer spirit that is in you, lusts to envie; enclines to crossenes, elvishnesse and self willednesse of spirit, when as yet there is no vexation without to cause it. What need is there then to ply the Lord with prayer, for the sweet uniting of your spirits, and calming of your hearts? That the peace of God passing understanding may fence or (as the word is) beleaguer and hemme in your soules (or as a garison keepes a towne safe,* 1.621) may preserve them with the knowledge of God, and possesse them in patience;* 1.622 Alas! let all your whetting and provoking each other, be reflected backe upon your owne selves, fret with indignation, against the Roote within, purge out that leaven; and then your hard hearts shall melt into teares, for each o∣ther; spend your time of jarring, in prayer and earnest re∣quest to God, for mercy and pardon: That he would take off your rough edge, and make you polished and squared stones, to couch in the wall of this building: which before could lye no way. Oh! the Lord (for ought you know) may make you blessed meanes of each others conversion, that you may blesse him, that ever you met, who so oft have cursed your owne eyes, for seeing each other. Let the fruite bee as God will: sure I am the crosse of an uncomfortable yoake should perswade you rather to spend all your life in prayer then in Rebellion. For its better (if it must be so) that God delay your desires, whiles you are praying, then whiles you are sinning,* 1.623 and stopping the course of prayer.

Thirdly,* 1.624 put on the Lord Iesus, and he shall so furnish you, that you shall not need to take any more thought, how to fulfill your base lustes any more. Put him on, in his long suf∣fering, meeknesse, bowels of compassion, as the Apostle speaks: which will not only prevent those evills of an un∣quiet,

and unsavory spirit, through a well a payde heart: but, also will teach you to beare and lie under your Crosse,* 1.625 and to bee as God will have you to bee.* 1.626 Fight not against God, but put on the Armour of peace, as a Brestplate, to beare off all the darts of distempers. If the Lord will not be entreated one way, ply him another: Remember an heart armed with holy Resolution in this kynd is shot free, and able to conquer a city. The patient in spirit, is better then the hasty, and the end of a thing is better then the beginning. Patience carryes with it, halfe a release, it is (as it were) boot in beame. If then, thy wife and thine husband cannot be wonne to consent, yet, if thou canst possesse thine owne spirit, thou shalt con∣quer hers. The best victories are by yeelding in this kind. Strange is the nature of a quiet spirit: it must prevaile at last, because it will wayt, till it have no nay. But especially, it hath this power in it, to quench any fiery dart, far better then any resistance, and wrath. If Cannon shot light upon the Wool-packe, it loseth his force: but if upon a stone wall, it batters it to peeces; and a soft answer puttes away wrath. Bring Iesus into this ship he will allay all the waves: bring this Arke into the campe of debate,* 1.627 and it will make all whist and quiet:* 1.628 when the Whirlewind ariseth suddenly from the heart of an unquiet man or woman, and like to that tem∣pest Iob 1.* 1.629 assaults every corner of the house to ruine it; yet, if this spirit of a soft voyce encounter it, all wilbe soft and calme on the sudden. The cause why the house of Jobs children fell downe, was, because it was such a wynde as beset on every syde: So it will fare with thee: If when one wynd is arisen in the house, thē by & by another be up in the other corner to resist it, woe to that house. Then is the season of thy Calme O husband, when thy wives heart is up in heat: and then of thy quiet hert (ô wife) when thy husband fumes & storms. But if both be up at once, be thou (ô man) the wiser, and say, Its now out of season for mee to meddle. Else thou wilt throw downe thine house, and destroy thine own peace. The second blow makes the fray: therefore while the cloude is as a mans hand, little in the entry, give over betymes, ere it cover the whole sky:* 1.630 & cause such a tempest, as cloudes when

they follow raine, which is a continuall dropping: and make sicke wether for adoe.

Fourthly,* 1.631 if the Lord exercise thee with this following crosse,* 1.632 beware lest thou forsake his way, and through tedious discontent, consult with flesh and blood, to use carnall shifts. It is not thy violence, to go to worke by strong hand, to beare downe thy wives streame, by a stronger one of thine owne; by eyther threats, or much lesse blowes, (a base remedy, and which I wonder should eyther come into any wise mans thoughts and pen to advize, or heart and hand to practise) or any other Policie of shame and disswasive, which God hath blessed to effect it. If he had, it had surely more prevay∣led, then it hath. No, its the onely victory of heaven and grace; whatsoever fleshly Wisedome, and rashnes or device of man, hath or may practise in this kind, I speake not: ex∣tremities may plead excuse from the greatnesse, but not the realnes of the sin. Nor yet do I deny but that a carnall way (for the present) may helpe against the present occasion. As I heard lately that a man put to his wits ended, agreed with his friends in London, that dwelt neer, it seemes, that when they heard the Drumme sound from his house, they should all make hast to take his wife in her scolding veine, and so shame her. So they might cut off a finger, but who shall mortifie the spirit? surely the Drumme comes short of that cure, and a woman will scorne to yeeld up her weapons at the found of such a charme. No, alas! As the Popes blessing makes no Armour of proofe: so neither is any Medicine of mans devising, shrew, or scold proofe: for a suddeyne they may please by their violence, but at time of yeere, the maladie will have his course. To this, I might adde a contrary ex∣treame of carnall wit: That husbands thus matched will seeke to flatter and demerit their base wives, serving their owne wills, bee they never so wastfull, and proud: suffering them to be all in all, to carry all the streame, and to throw house out at windowes, and all to winne them to some indifferency, slavishly subjecting themselves to their usurping, and domineering spirit: They (forsooth) must buy, sell, let, hire, take all and pay all, staving off their husbands

from intermeddling, save at their owne curtesie, what they shall weare, spend, or carrie in their purse: Others, will re∣deeme their peace, by casting all the tacklings into sea; let their wives jolly and ruffle it out in what maner, measure, or Companies they themselves please to spend at their pleasure, keeping their husbands at a becke: yea, suffer them to keepe and harbour Varlets under their noses to defile their beds and family with filth and bastardy: and all that they may bee rid of unquitenesse. And when upon these tearmes, they have bought repentance too deere, then they must either die in sorrow, or live with basenes and dishonour. In general I like your patience (for some yeelding doth well) if limited: But, your cowardly, base heart, distrusting Gods waies and method, except you releive your selves by sinning, that I abhorre, and affirme the remedy to be farre worse then the disease.

Fifthly,* 1.633 I warne all couples, that they runne not beyond the bounds set them by providence,* 1.634 to intermeddle with the affaires concerning each other. Its the folly and boldnesse of many women, to be so curiously prying and pragmaticall, about their husbands matters, (which concerne them not to busie themselves about, but to rest upon their fidelity, ex∣cept they see just exception) to be so inquisitive into their actions, companies, and occasions, so jealous of them (unjustly) that, although I allow not of the effect, yet I say, its a just provocation to the spirit of a wise and inno∣cent man, to differ from his wife. And againe, many fop∣pish husbands doe so intermeddle in the Element, and about the peculiar emploiments of the women, taking upon them the menaging of their Cookeries, their dayries and house∣wifery, as if they must have an oare in each boate. What wise woman would not break into a mixt passion of fulsome indignation and contempt? What husband would not bee carried to extreame discontent? God hath appointed their station to them both, the one, without, the other within: lest by idlenesse and sloth, they wanting their severall workes, they should waxe unsavory, and lie open to forraine vice: But this is to turne the ordinance topsy turvie, and in

stead of not doing, to overdoe, and cause discord at home. Therefore keepe your station: provoke not each other, which gives occasion (ofttimes) of that mutuall curiosity. Mutuall consent will not consist with mutuall satagency in this kind. To this, I might adde another caveat, against the darkenesse and closenesse of carriage of couples, each to o∣ther, which doth breed this evill spoken of. For, though each party is to be trusted in his or her owne sphere, to act and deale: yet neither must forget other, to beare an equall share in the common welfare; and therefore, to conceale themselves and walke aloofe as in the clouds, one from the knowledge, of the other; as never to impart their mutuall affaires, never to communicate together, or consult each with other, what is it, but a despising of that equipage, and equality which marriage claimes? what is it, save provo∣king of each other, to turne a mutuall spirit, into a private one? To turne equanimity of love (that thinkes no evill, but construes all in the better sense) into jealous suspicion? what imports it, save that their waies are unthrifty and un∣happy, so that they are loth to discover them, till all be too late? And then at last, endlesse broyles grow upon such af∣fected secrecy, and a necessity of violent sparing, lest all should perish: both extremities, to be shunned by all wise couples.

Sixtly,* 1.635 as the Proverbe saith, take not counsell in the com∣bat: for then,* 1.636 there is no season for counsell, then the spirit is in the power of passion, and temptation present, as a bowle running downe the hill, is in the power of the descent. Take counsell therefore before, and use thy skill in preven∣ting that which is hardly endured. Observe thy husbands frame oh wife, and thy wives oh husband: Study each others natures, and count it thy wisdome and vantage, by that thou shalt easily guesse, both what may provoke & also prevent it; and, what may both content and so procure it: But they who let all goe at six and seven, suffer the upper milstone to runne upon the nether, they may bee sure the divell will see there shall want no corne, and then there will be grin∣ding. Studious shunning of occasions, with wisdome and

pious caution, hath in time, wrought many an unquiet heart to some calmenesse; except there be so cursed and churlish a nature, as delights in distemper, even to chuse, and would rather die fighting with it owne shadow then be at peace. I say,* 1.637 when a Nabal sees an Abigail, watch her opportunity, loath to provoke him in his madnesse, willing to hold off whatsoever might disquiet, and further, what might please and satisfie: how can he, but at last breake his heart in her bosome, and say, come my deare wife: thou art more righteous then I: for I have sought thy griefe, but thou hast overcome me with thy wisdome and meeknes; thou hast heaped hot coales upon the head of a froward husband, and made me ashamed to behold the ugly hieu of my passion, in the glasse of thy meeknesse and discretion. And this for Admonition.

[Vse 4] The last use briefely shall be Exhortation. Strive, all ye husbands and wives,* 1.638 who seeke to live in godlinesse and honour, to establish mutuall amity in your spirits, and con∣sent in your conversation. Alas! husbands and wives should be as two sweet friends, bred under one constellation, tem∣pered by an influence from heaven, whereof neither can give any great reason, save that mercy and providence first made them so, and then made their match; Saying, see, God hath determined us, out of this vast world, each for other; perhaps many may deserve as well, but yet to me, and for my turne, thou excellest them all, and God hath made me to thinke so (not for formality sake to say) but because it is so. When I consider, that, we are not met onely, but met as we should doe, not as many mismatcht ones are, meeter for some other man and woman, then each for other; so that we can say as he in his Motto, what we are, we would be, and would be no other then we are; the onely meet ones, for one another; oh then! how it raises up my spirit to ad∣mire and magnifie Gods dispensation! Oh, if it were thus, how sweet were it to see married ones to live together! As the Arke carried by the power of God, above the highest mountaine in the world, fifteene Cubits, so should mercy carry them above all contentions and garboiles, that they

should know no such. As they say the tops of some high hils are above the middle region, and so above all those vapors of frost and snow, and wyndes which inferior groundes are infested withall: so, so should these bee above far worse: and behold others beneath, molested with such things, even with wondring at their happy escape. And as all the hills and dales, which make the parts of that earth where they are, unequall: but cannot hinder the roundnesse of it, because the circular figure of the whole, swallowes up all particular uneevennesses, into it selfe: so should those passages of une∣quality betweene couples, here and there passionate heates and dissentings each from other, be drowned in this con∣sent, so that they should vanish as cloudes without rayne and storme, though not without some darknesse and lowring.

And, if ought did befall otherwise then meetly, how should each outstrip the other afterward, in humiliation and Repentance! Oh base wretch (shouldst thou say) should I bee weary of welfare!* 1.639 Should I returne to nourish secret poyson in mine heart, to hazard my precious peace? and should I venter all upon a cast, to try whether mine bee mine owne, or not? Shall one dead fly defile a whole box of precious oyntment? No farre bee it from mee to forsake my fatnesse and sweetnes,* 1.640 by which I have cherisht the heart of God and man,* 1.641 of wife, of husband, (like that bramble exalting it selfe above the trees) to beare up my selfe above, against each other, by confusion and discord? No: Farre bee it from us,* 1.642 to suffer the noyse of Hammers, Sawes, or axes to bee heard in our Temples hereafter! wee were squared in Gods mount by his workmanship, not needing now any such edgetooles! Rather let us be like him, who was typified hereby, whose voyce was not lifted up, nor heard in the strets, who never trod upon a bug or worme to kill it, brake not the bruised reed, nor quencht the smoking flaxe. As he the head of his Church, is to his Church, so will I bee to my spouse and beloved, amiable and consenting. Enough to marriage is the necessary unavoydable greefe of it, such as must be in it by Gods allowance, for triall: I will not seeke to adde needlesse to necessary, but pull away, as much as I can: and

when the needlesse is takē off,* 1.643 then shall the necessary be the better born. Offences must come; occasiōs wil arise: Pharao's owne privy chamber cannot be free frō frogs, aswell as other common mens:* 1.644 & the sweetest May-moneth may have frosty mornings, and cold evenings, yea there wilbe sad dayes and sorrowfull affronts at one time or other; able to affront the most peaceable: But the peace of God and marriage, which passe understanding,* 1.645 the peace of Conscience and family, running in a streame together, will keep the heartes of the good, so firme, and stable, that they will lose their willes and humors ten tymes rather then this jewell: And if, when all is done, there must some dreg of old Adam cleave still, it shall not bee for hurt, all shall turne for best to the peacea∣ble, to search all which is in their hearts, to keepe them humble, to exercise selfedeniall, and to teach them, that the best marriages upon earth must have their eyesores, lest we should say its good beeing here, for the best and purest peace wilbee in heaven, where there shalbee no such relati∣ons as these, but all fulfilled in our eternall conjunction with our head the Lord Iesus. Also it must teach them, even when the weather is most contrary, yet to imitate the skill of the Marryner who will not strive against the wyndes, but rather coast, and fetch a compasse, to gaine ground and further his travaile.

And so I finish this last of these mutuall duties of the mar∣ryed,* 1.646 which is consent. Ensue peace with all, especially with your selves: Ground it in that peace with God, to par∣don and accept you: and this will be as the rush growing in the mire, a peace alway maynteind by a better, never fay∣ling. Walke according to this rule, and the peace of God shalbe with you. Try no carnall conclusions, tempt not God, be not weary of welfare. Though it should turn from you, yet follow, & take it by the lap of the garmēt; hold it fast; its the free-simple of good couples: Let it rule & overrule, to forgoe any thing rather then it. They who angle with golden hooks, had need looke to it, lest if they lose their hooke, all their catch equall not their losse. And so doing, consent shall make your marriage honorable; till it bring you to enjoy that

peace and blessed consent of Saints in glory, which shalbee a perfect sweet without any bitter, a life without end. And so much also for this Chapter: and for these 4. Duties mutually concerning Mariage, for the preserving of the integrity and comfort therof.

CHAP. X.

Returne to the Personall offices of each party. And first the husband. His first duty handled, To bee a man of understanding.

HAving handled the joint duties of both,* 1.647 we come to lay down the severall duties of either party in marri∣age: And what great difficulty will there bee in this latter, when the former is once setled. As in a fagot, each sticke is kept streight and whole, while the band holdes: so, let the married parties once be united in the former duties which stande in equality: it wilbe no difficulty to mainteine these which are peculiar. When as once the retreat of the armie of souldiers is made sure: ech souldier fights merrily in his ranke. So heere the maine worke being dispatcht, & mutuall security being given & taken each from other, of religion to God, of love to each others person, of Chastity to Bodies, of Consent in the life and whole course, what hardnes can there bee in the residue, for particular offices of each other? The nave of the wheele being strong, the staves well fastned: how easily will the wheele and orbe of it run, and what a sweete current will there bee in the same? Touching the particulars then first of the man,* 1.648 then of the woman (for both must manage this common stocke of honor by their personal industry.) The mans first dutye, is▪ to walke as a man of understanding with and before his wife: that is, so to a beare himselfe, that he may sweetly strike into his wyves spirit a due reverentiall love and esteeme of his person and Headship, for the vertues of an husband: such as may satisfy

her to bee a meete guide of her life, by his gravity, stayednesse and Prudence of carriage. That her heart may tell her in secret, myne husband is indeed a man of understanding. An husband,* 1.649 who would save the stake of his owne honor, should set downe that for his Maxime, let not thy wife despise thee: for if once the womans heart despise her husband, the whole frame of marriage is loosed. This is Peters counsell to husbands:* 1.650 Likewise ye husbands dwell with them, according to knowledge, or understanding: he seemes to contract all the worke into this comprehensive rule, in a generall sense; as if any branch might fitly be deryved from it: But here I take it for the first speciall gift of the husband, as an head. He that hath a good head-peece, is a man of good under∣standing and judgment: (thats the peculiar vertue of the head) for as its the highest of the members, so it is to leade and guide the inferior powers of the soule & the members: In the heade is the eye, which outwardly leadeth the latter, as the braine and wisedome is within, the which guides the former. In that semblance is this gift of understanding, the most peculiar to the head, the husband: the wife must fol∣low, as the will and affections, and members do follow the judgment. There need be no more proofes of the point, rea∣son convinceth it sufficiently.

The greater question is,* 1.651 wherin this Duty of understan∣ding consists. For the answer wherof, I thinke (as he once being to teach the art of Memory first would teach the art of forgetfulnesse) it were best to shew what it is to walke as a man of no understanding,* 1.652 and then the positive. First then to walke understandingly, is not to walke aloft in the pride and vaine conceit of thy selfe,* 1.653 saying, to the wife, as he wal∣king [ 1] in his pallace, Am not I great Nebuchadnezzar? So, Dost thou not know (wife) that I am the head,* 1.654 & set above, made to rule? That thou art made of my rib, and for my use, and not I for thyne but for mine owne ends? yes, I will have you to know it too, that I am a man by my self, and am able to menage a woman better then shee. Nay, first learne to understand thy selfe, ere thou proove a man of understan∣ding to thy wife. A man of understanding, is (as Salomon

speaks) of a coole spirit,* 1.655 not a proud, insulting and dominee∣ring spirit: he that is such an one, had need of such a woman as to his cost, may teach him to understand himselfe better. First learne to rule thy selfe, if thy will be too strong for thy wit,* 1.656 & thou art hurried by thy lust, against thy knowledge: As the Apostle sayth of another, he that cānot rule his own family is much lesse able to rule the Church of God: so, he who hath not understanding enough to rule himself, is very unfit to rule a woman. That husband, who standes upon it, that he will Lord it and bee all in all, beare sway over his wife, as his un∣derling, and who shall controll him? may perhaps (when Mistris Experience hath well awed and tawed him, repent of his lording it, and wish, his understanding had lyen ano∣ther way. Adde to these, such as wilbee ruled by no other [ 2] mans counsell,* 1.657 save their owne, and yet have little of their owne neither (a true marke of a Foole) but rashly rush upon their dealing, and affayres, saying, What I doe, I will do, what I have written (as he sayd) I; have written: my will shall stand for my Law: proove it for better, or for worse, I am resolved to doe as I list and what is a mans libertie, but li∣cence, to live, to speake, & go to worke as him lists without controll,* 1.658 as they, Psal. 12. Is it not lawfull to doe with mine owne, as I list? If I give all I have away, who shall gainsay mee?

[ 3] So againe, this is no understanding, for an head to get some shreds of religion by the end,* 1.659 or to be able perhaps to speake of a Sermon, or to pray, or reade a chapter (which yet many such do not) or keepe some shew of a Sabbath; But, to neglect all the practice of his knowledge in his life, to expose himself to all loosenes of carriage, basenes of example, living within doores currishly, spitefully, without doores shiftinglie, cunningly,* 1.660 deceitfuly & offēsively: [ 4] Moreover neither is this to be amā of understanding, to seem to give way to good coun∣sell, to hearken and nod to good advise, to give faire wordes; you say wel indeed good sir, & speake to very good purpose, to shew no verball resistance. For of this sort there are many, who yet have no power at all, to amend: but having pray∣sed the man, yet turne their backes, and doe as they did be∣fore,

not stirring an inch. They moove upon their center, as the windmill round about, but stirre not one hayre from it: Oh (sayth one,) a very facile man, and easie to be handled▪ True, but harde to be changed: he hath a tricke for you, worth ten of a rebellious refusall: for he will say as you say, [ 5] but doe as he listes.* 1.661 To end, neither is it any marke of an un∣derstanding man, to be able to give counsell to others, either in Gods matters, or the world, or, to make others to say, Oh! this man is of great parts, and deepe understanding, see what wisedome and experience he hath gotten! wheras all this while this wise man, whose head is aloft in his counsell to o∣thers, falles into the ditch for lacke of taking counsel himself. He cannot guide his owne way, nor order his owne con∣versation aright. In generalls he is very free and full, because he is carried onely to the object of truth and judgment, till you come to particulars, and then occasions of his owne pro∣fits, will, pleasure or ease and ends doe so hamper & ensnarle his spirit, that this man with his great understanding be∣comes a very foole, for lacke of a speciall wise heart to apply knowledge to his owne occasions: as Sampson was able to judge Israel, but his lusts and passions cast him out of the rule of himselfe. These then, and the like argue no man of understanding.

Secondly therfore,* 1.662 he is a true husband, and a man of un∣derstanding, who first hath denied his owne wisedome, and is abased before God in the privity of his owne wants, and inability to manage this great affaire of Marriage,* 1.663 or to walk before his wife, as a man of understanding. To say of this, as [ 1] Salomon did of his Government, who am I Lord, that I should walke before this great people?* 1.664 To say as holy Agur did, Doubtlesse I am a foole, and the understanding of a man is not in mee: q. d. I have not halfe the wisedome that a man of my condition had need of. I say its one step to an husbands understanding, to be convinced of the defect and dispropor∣tion of his abilities,* 1.665 to guide the way of marriage. To thinke of it neyther so highly as if it were above his possibility to atteyne, nor so low, as if he had enough and to spare for it. David being nominated to be Sauls son in law, did not vaunt

himself in his abilities (as Absalon after did,* 1.666 but) sayd thus, Thinke you it so easie a thing to stand in this relation? And Abigail a woman affirmed by a judicious man, to bee of great counsell and understanding, yet thought not her selfe so: but beeing sent for, to be Davids wyfe, answered, Alas! I am more fit to be an handmayde to wash the feete of the ser∣vants of my Lord!* 1.667 I say this holy humble diffidence in our selves, is a surer marke of an understanding man, then the former. Especially when the sense of a mans nakednesse, carries him to God, to pray (as he did) oh Lord, I beseech thee, give to thy servant an understanding heart! This pleased the Lord well, that he asked this onely, not other matters for his owne ends, long life, riches, honor: so, if thou sue to God for such an head peece of wisedome, as might guide thy mariage course aright more then for welfare and jollity in the world, its a signe that the cheef thing is more prized, then the infe∣rior. [ 2] So secondly to be a man of understanding, is, to bee a subject to God himselfe,* 1.668 ere thou undertake mastry over o∣thers: To say with that centurion, I my selfe am under Au∣thority, I come to the bar my selfe, and give accompt of my head ship;* 1.669 I am fellow servant with my wife, and I have a Master in heaven my selfe: it behooves mee to use my headship sparingly, not to Lord it, lest I be scorned my selfe, for taking upon mee in that office which hath more service then worship tyed to it: my Rule over my wife is not impe∣rious, but royall and Princely, not over an underling, but copartner with an equall: so that, if with all my understanding I can bowe my wives will, by a milde perswasion, not by austerity, I have quitted my selfe well.

[ 3] Thirdly to be of understanding, is to be more sensible of the burden and worke of Marriage,* 1.670 then the honor of it. I say,* 1.671 to apprehend what cost and care belongs to my wives soule, how to mould it unto true lowlynesse & meeknesse for God; (which is of great price with him) to instill the prin∣ciples of Christ and selfdeniall into her, (or to nourish them if already instilled) to cause her to see into that scope and view of Religion, which, is the change and subduing of her will to God. Oh, what a worke is this, and who is sufficient

for it? were it but to menage her outward man and carriage towards my selfe, towards her children, in her family, and before others, in point of subjection, love, and wisedome, oh it exceedes my understanding! it exercises mee with more thought then all her portion contents mee! Oh! I must carry her to God, and commit her to him, to be trained to this [ 4] great busines! Lastly to bee a man of understanding, is yet a point of further extent;* 1.672 For such an one, is of an excellent spirit throughout, a man framed by God within & without, with a spirit for marriage, a spirit of cheerfulnes, discerning, diligence, dexterity to devise and dispatch also, humblenesse, courage, and patient enduring. By these, such an one first orders his owne personall way of religion, conscience be∣fore God, conversation in tongue, dealings, and example be∣fore men: Then nextly he walkes before his wife, as a wise man ought: And, he attempts not to rule others before he have got the upperhand of himselfe: But, having begun (as Physitians doe sometime) to try conclusions upon himselfe, then he prescribes to others, I say that these and the like Graces, concurre, to qualifie a man of understanding in point of Marriage; as (God willing) in the sequele, shall more fully appeare.

For which purpose,* 1.673 let this further be enquired into, in what mayne things consists this vertue of an husband, wal∣king as a man of understanding toward his wife? I answer. In these two, first in matters of God, then in such as concern the married relation. Both these will procure and maynteine the honor of marriage on the husbands part: and, the con∣trary, [ 1] will proove dishonorable. For the former, I will here touch it only so farre as the purpose of the point requires:* 1.674 And first, its requisite for the husband to handsell his under∣standing with the matters of God. That he count it his crowne, first, to seeke the Kingdome of God, and that for it selfe; and from the savor therof, as one well grounded in the Scriptures, to be able to expresse his knowledge to his wife till she conceive the like: And, having so done, that he set himselfe to walke accordingly towards his wife, both in the generall, to instruct, admonish, comfort, resolve, support her,

and in speciall in all private or family duties, to be her mouth to God, and to present to him the wants and petitions of all that depend upō him. Both indeed ought to know, they have severall soules to save, and not to wrap up themselves in one anothers grace: Both ought to be a spirituall body of Christ, annoynted which his prophecy and Priesthood: yet, as the man is the Image of God in speciall, and her head, so ought the Consecration of God to rest upon him, in more abundance then upon her: that shee and all the rest may be replenished therewith. So that he (for his part) must be as her Priest, and his lips must preserve knowledge for her: To give some two or three instances of this point.* 1.675 First for the discharge of family duties (wherof I have spoken before) he must purchase for himselfe an horne of oile, not onely (as one saith) for his vessell to be savory, but for his lampe to shine. My meaning is not to force such knowledge upon him as is ministerial, exact for degree (God requires no service beyond the ability and Talent received, be it one or three) Its not re∣quired that he be an interpreter of the Scriptures; that he ga∣ther punctuall doctrines, to cleer doubts & objections, or to make distinctions & applications beyond his calling: & ob∣ject: This were but to make the Family duties a stall to vend himself upō, & to pride himselfe in his parts & endowments (as many have done so long,) while at last thinking themsel. too fledge for their owne nest, they have boldly leapt out of their shops & Trades, into the pulpit, thinking themselves as meet to preach as the most able Ministers; no, in no sort: (I krow there is difference in men for their skill and understan∣ding in matters of God, and for sobriety and humblenes of spirit, whom I much honor, and desire not to trench upon, or discourage any Governors in this kynd, especially in such a profane world that runs a contrary streame:) But impartial∣ly I desire to utter the truth by so just an occasion: and this I say, Its enough for a private person, to insist upon such points of doctrine, and especially of Catechisme, as he hath by his carefull attention, heard in the ordinary course of the pub∣blique Ministerie handled; to cull out such, and to im∣part them to his wife and family, in a familiar manner,

upon confessed groundes, and upon easie texts: whose sense and scope is plaine and undoubted; therupon, fastening such exhortation, admonition and watch words as best befit him to utter who should be best acquainted with the state of such as are under his roofe: rebuking sin, pressing duty; but other∣wise as for texts of darker nature, abstayning from them, and leaving them to a publique gift of interpreting: which is abler to rectifie judgment, and answere doubts, and settle the conscience.

Secondly, he is to apply himselfe to his wife, as a man of understanding, in the private way of her soule, helping her out of her feares, answering her doubts and questions accor∣ding to the light he hath received abroad, to reconcile their timorous and scrupulous spirits to God, by the promise, so oft as they stagger, & to enlarge them with those comforts, to acquaint them with such directions for their walking with God, as themselves have had experience of in their afflicted conditions, to fellow-feele them, to be afflicted with them, to conferr with them about their growthes or decayes, their slips and recoveries, and so about the fruite of their both publique and private worship and service of God: to satisfie them in any such difficultyes and dangers as they meet with, and so to helpe them aswell in the extraordinary duties of humiliation and Thanks, as occasion requires: of which I sayde enough in the joint worship of God before. And so thirdly (to conclude this point) he is also to bee a man of ability, to encourage, hearten and quicken his wife in respect of any outward burdens she undergoes, to condole with her in them,* 1.676 to underlay her (as the beloved in the Can∣ticles) doth his spouse, that so two may beare that which one cannot, and the toile may be the more cheerfuly undergone, when she sees, that her heade steps in to his uttermost to bear the brunt,* 1.677 and discharge her from the di••t of trouble! Alas! how farre are most husbands from this course? where are they whose understanding, humblenes and love seekes the good of their wives herin? how seldome do they apply them∣selves to such publique ordinances on the Sabbath or weeke day to enable them in knowledge? or seeke the helpe of Mi∣nister

or other to guide them? Or put case some heare or note Sermons (which now is growne each mans case, and not amisse except they finde that the gaine of writing, marre the power of the truth in their affections) yet they shut up all presently in their Note-bookes, without meditation or ay∣ming at the purchase of a lively stocke, of understanding; nor thriving upon their hearings, by proofe and experience of that they know? Or if they have knowledge, yet how surly and conceited do they grow, drawing their wives rather to errors, and fancies, and busying themselves rather, about matters beyond their reach, and of lesse consequence, ere they be grounded in the maine. How sad are many women for their want this way, that alas! when as they aske their husbands at home, they are little the better, if not much dis∣couraged! Their husband eyther despising the light of know∣ledge, and so walking like blocks and idiots in all matters of God: or else filling themselves so with other trash, that knowledge runs over, and is spilt upon the ground: or if they have light, yet resting in generalities, never comming to the experience of the way of God, or life of faith. And by this, they wax barren, & tell their wyves, they are no Preachers, they must go to Ministers, if they will talke of such matters, for it passes their skill to deale in them!

[ 2] Now secondly touching the Mans understanding in the matter of the worlde,* 1.678 or marriage affaires: He must be as the guide of her youth, going in & out before her: able to direct her way and course with wisedome; not only in point of obedience to God, but also in circumstances, and matters indifferent: for her company, for her solitarines, for silence or speech, shewing her what her person and place will admit and beare, that she doe not either over or under set up, or cast downe her sailes, but live within the boundes of her place, for her company, attire, houshold furniture, expences of children, what is pure, modest, sober, of good report, what not; who are safely to be conversed with, and trusted in so bad a world as we live in, who to be shunned: he must be her eye to see by, her hand to worke, her foote to walke with, to discerne things, and persons, how they differ: And these

things shee must not onely learn by the eare frō his discourse but discover by marking his practice & example: Beholding in his glasse an image of understanding, how wisely he can conceal things not to be uttered, how warily prevēt danger to life, name, state: how he can avoyde the snares which are layde for him; how he shunneth ill company, remooves of∣fences from the bad, keep peace upon good and safe termes with all men, handle busines of weight both without equi∣vocating, and reservation of an ill conscience; and on the o∣ther side, without betraying himselfe, and exposing himselfe to hazard: and in both how he preserves innocency, and uprightnesse. Besides these, she may behold in him, neither on the one side cowardize in a good cause, nor in the other, folly in the bad handling of it: how close and secret he is to them that are faithfull friendes to God and himselfe; how he is neither basely niggardly, nor yet vainly lavish: that he is neither lightly credulous, nor yet sinfully distrustfull: in his liberties, neither taking the uttermost, nor yet scrupling the moderate, and lawfull: Thus I say when shee sees the image of God shining in his understanding and behaviour, she shall be farre from despising him, at least justly, for grace is hono∣rable, and makes the face to shine, even before such as have little good in them; much more such as can observe it; Nay more, shee shall honor him, as her head, see cause of entirely loving him, devoting her selfe, first to God in thanks, for such a blessing, and then to him in all loyall affection. No woman save a Micol can find any disdaine in her heart of such an husband. And, (which is the crowne of all) shee shall repre∣sent and act her husbands vertues, upon the stage of her owne practice, and conversation. So much for this second.

[Vse. 1] If this be thus, how much to blame are many husbands of all sorts,* 1.679 we Ministers, you people; who in matters of God suf∣fer their wives to live at randon. Because they see it requires some labor to menage the soules of their wyves,* 1.680 by that neere Communion I have spoken of, therfore they plucke off hand quite from boorde, & leave them wholly to themselves to sincke or swim. The very grounde of the sluggard doth not so speake against his sloth,* 1.681 by the briars & thistles wherewith

its overgrowne, as the soules of these mens wyves, by their profanenes, and their lives, by their immodest & rude beha∣viour. So themselves can hold bodily welfare, farewell, sleep and play, and lye downe in an whole skin; what care they, what becomes of them? How many inclinations are there in some tender plants (at first marriage) which through the neglect of husbands, vanish. How many sweet parts and graces which lie and ruste, for the want of good improove∣ment? how many blemishes and wants (which wise and seasonable counsell might redresse) are suffred to grow re∣medilesse? how many husbands might say of their wives, as once a shrew sayde of her husband, shee could have lived sweetly with him, if shee would? meaning it was not passion, but a spiteful heart which hindred it: so, its not ignorance, but a ••ase & lasie heart which doth this: had they bin worth their eares (God seconding thē) they might have improoved them sweetly. And how gladly would such wives have blessed God, for their counsell, if they might have bin beholding to them for it? what honor had they got for their instrumentall help to convert, support & save thē? If thou do not this work, how canst thou say, thou lovest her, or thy heart is with her? Surely thou shalt pay the sad shot of her sin; If no place in thy house, bed, board, closet, walke, can witnesse for thee, if any common worke steale away thine heart or leasure from helping her: If she run into riot because thou staydst her not: how just is it, that thy life goe for hers, wherewith God betrusted thee?

[Vse. 2] Secondly, how great cause is there that some bad husbands should tremble to consider that they have bin so far frō gui∣ding their wyves with understanding,* 1.682 that alas! they lack all wisedome to guide themselves.* 1.683 So that, if their wives should be so unhappy, as to tread in their steps, they must of necessity fall with thē into the ditch of all error & profanneesse. Alas! how full is the world of women, (not the worst for disposi∣tion & hope of good) who yet through ill planting, (because they see that else they must live a dismall life) not only stumble at the threshold and go not one step forward, but ten degrees backward: being fain to comply with their

husbands, and waxe tenfold more the children of the devill then before? what is more easy, then for a weake Chamae∣leon, a faint and weake creature, to resemble the colour of each cloth its laide in, when they see no feare of God, nor reverence of man, care of Sabbaths, conscience in dealings, savor in examples: to fall to the like? especially fynding a sweetnes and welpleasing to the flesh, and nothing to gainsay it? How basely dare they speake of sincerity of the ministery, how vaine, frothie and fashionable grow they, their husbands reading them the lecture, and as Abimelec, saying, what you see mee doe, do ye likewise. How full is each corner of Lamecs desperate varlets, who act villany, wrath, rage, envy, worldlines, pride, and scorne before their wives to cast them into the like moulde of wickednesse?

[Vse 3] But, if it fall out, that there bee any more wisedome in women matcht which such Nabals to observe and judge aright;* 1.684 how can they chuse, but underprise them for want of understanding?* 1.685 Is it wonder, that a woman (except very humble) should extremely vilify such an head? Doth the Apo∣stle justly reproove men for wearing shag hayre (like wo∣men) and for shaming their head,* 1.686 or being ashamed of the glory of God, (which they resemble by the uncovering of it) and shall not these dishonorers of their headship much more be condemned, (as in this matter of walking like men of understanding before their wives?) yes surely: its no won∣der that their complaints against such husbandes, are so fre∣quent, & that they can nourish so little honor in their hearts toward them, who powre out so much contempt upon their owne heades! I do not patronize such women as do so, but yet their disdeyne is in some sort veinall, against them who do so violate the Ordinance •• what a clog is it to be matcht to a man who in stead of stayednesse and due wisedome, is not so much as sensible, when he is told of his follies? So openly ridiculous, that (as oile in the hand) it bewrays it selfe to all men?* 1.687 So shallow-braynd, fickly, easily led aside by any bad counsellor, to any loose, uncleane wastfull courses? who makes as many promises, as he hath fingers on both handes, and that daily, but breakes them before he go to bed? what

wise woman can endure it, to see him who should under∣stand himself, to bee so seely, credulous, in judicious, that each base cheating companion can cosen him of his wealth, rob him of his money, make him drunke, and picke his pocket? Such a foole, as will lend every man he meets with, that wold borrow, not shillings, but poundes, without any band save a bare word, as good never a whit as never the better, to such as are not worth that they borrow? what indignation would it moove in a woman, to be compelled to follow her wise husband to the Alehouse, to gaster him thence from drinking and revelling, spending of his time, thrift and honesty? making her selfe a By-word, to pull him from the pipe and pot, to avoyde worse dishonor? Nay and yet to availe little also, but even to see her selfe sinking and peri∣shing by peece meale, while she beholdes in him the cause? when he followes him that leades him to the stocks?

[ 2] Or what wise woman could endure a foole within doores,* 1.688 so full of passion, so talkative, so contentious with children and servants, so weake in goverment & in his pangs, so hayle-fellow well met with his servants, fond and apish with his maydes, readie to traduce his wife in the hearing of strangers and the family, as if he put no difference betweene times, persons, or occasions? If a foolish womā by her tongue and unseasonablenes, be such a shame, yea rottennes of bones, to a wise head: what is he (who should bee the head, to her) when his carriage is so burdensome? I have seen an evill (saith Salomon) oppression occupying the place of justice. As if he had sayde, for a poore man to steale a sticke off the hedge is sin, but, for a judge to oppresse in the place of judg∣ment is notorious: so, for the husband to play the foole instead of a man of understanding, how disordered? How shall the wife sustaine her repute or esteeme in the family, when he that should honour her, by his reproaches, with∣drawes both her owne children, servants & negihbors, from their allegiance and duty?

[ 3] What a vexation is it likewise, for a woman to be matcht to an husband,* 1.689 who is so idle, and so unfit, to set himselfe on worke about the service of his place, so readie to fleece from

her all that shee hath, so helpelesse in his place, so giddy, and gadding up and downe from place to place, after his copes∣mates, pleasures and vanities, that its harde to say, whether shee were better want his company to rule his servants, or have his roome, to avoyde noysomenesse?

[ 4] Or againe, how can a sober nature endure an husband, who is never in his Element,* 1.690 save when he is in his jiggs and jests, unsavory scoffes and scornes, at every one, wife not excepted, that comes in his way? And in his humorous extremities so contrary, that either he cannot be pulld out of his Melancholy and mopishnes, being discontent; or being humored, cannot be driven out of his froth and lightnes; Like those fidlers whom the Poët describes, who either cannot be gotten for any need to play, or, if they fall to it, can never adone!

[ 5] Who can digest such an inconstant and uncerteyne humor, as perhaps,* 1.691 for a weeke, or ten daies in an houte, will put on the habit of the most diligent and provident husband, to follow his businesse: But on the suddeine (as one that forgets himselfe) rushes againe into his veyne of good fellowship, soaking himselfe in his Pots, as if he would take revenge of himselfe for his former abstinence, and make eaven with himselfe by spending twice so much by day after day, as he saved by his diligence? what is so yrksome to a woman, in company, where she becomes, as to see her husband, (whose honor should bee her Crowne) to be the jest and laughing stock of fooles, an obiect of May-game to each one, who will make himselfe sport with his basenes? I might be end∣lesse; But in a worde, shee that is yoked to a foolish head, what a spectacle is shee of a woman miserable by necessity?

[Vse. 4] I conclude therfore this first branch of the husbands duty. Let every wise one abhorre this Idea of folly:* 1.692 endeavoring himself to the uttermost of his power, (according to the gift of God) to walke with his wife, as an understanding hus∣band: both in matters of God, and the way of common life: that so he may draw from her (as the weaker) due acknow∣ledgment of him in his place, as set over her for a guide and Director: In whom, (under God) she may repose confidence,

applying both absent, & present, without feare or suspition: returing that reverence, which his worth hath deserved: and bearing willingly with infirmities, because her lot is fallen into a good ground. As for the husband, although his wife should not perceive his worth, (for some good wives can∣not) yet seeing its his cheefe understanding to see none of his owne vertues, but to conceale all, let him chuse rather to bee a man of knowledge, though his wife should not behold it, then to be magnified of a flattering woman (as some are) deserving contempt.

And now I should have passed to the next point, had not this come in my mind, that the Apostle in this Charge in∣cludes cohabitation: for he who must dwell with his wife, as a man of knowledge; at least must then dwell with her: else the subject is taken away.* 1.693 Where else (I pray) save in his house should his understanding appeare? Or where should he shine else, save in his owne sphere? This is that which the Apostle chargeth them,* 1.694 who were yoked with Infidells, (themselves beeing converted) that they depart not in dwelling from the unbeleeving party: [Vse 5] if he or shee would depart, so it was, but let not them,* 1.695 if the other will abide. I wish that the wofull age we live in, urged this my Admoni∣tion: which I have glaunced at by passage before; but here as the dutie of this place. Persons of great ranke and quality, thinke themselves lawlesse in this kynde; Even a base thing they deeme it, to dwell with their wives. Not only not one bed, board, roofe, towne, shire, but scarse one kingdome can (long) holde some of them. And some are so noted for this tricke, that it were good at last, they would note themselves. Each distast and discontent to their unjust, unreasonable hu∣mors, is enough to cause a settled, habituall separation be∣tweene them, and their wives, not for dayes (which in cases is allowable) but for moneths, quarters, yeeres, many yeeres together. Who doubtlesse, if they might have Iewish liberty would much gladlyer be divorced And what gaine they by their separation? Dishonor to themselves, sorrow to their wives, I might say snares to them both: distemper to family, ruine to their estate, wrong to their country; ill example to

inferiors, scandall to the irreligious. Besides, both occasion to themselves abroad,* 1.696 clandestine societies & leagues with those that are luxurious, wanton, defiled women: and lay offences and snaresin the way of their wives at home (except they make the more conscience) to forsake their Covenant, and to expose themselves to like uncleannes. For why? Their husband is gone a far iorney, & you know what followeth. Surely thine amends is justly in thy handes, who provokest it! Husbands should say to their wives, as Ruth to Naomi; As the Lorde liveth,* 1.697 nothing save death shall part us. Thy house, thy Children, thy Church, thy God, & no other shall be mine, till death seperate. It is not the way for thee, for the ob∣teyning thy base ends of thy wife to depart from her: (pity it should) but rather to exasperate her; Its cohabitation, which is blessed to soder breaches in tyme, not Separation. The practise of the greater sort is so rife now adaies, that it growes common, among the inferior sort, & will be a sore in∣curable. A deserted Lady, or Gentlewoman, is become a com∣mon notion. As one sayd, now the dogs barke at the Masters of family, when they returne, as if they were absolute stran∣gers: forgetting them, as they did their wives. Oh shame! Let Kings that be wise keepe neere their Crowns! and husbands that would be happy, neere their wyves: not turning Iew and Samaritan, who intermeddle not. Such husbands, as care not themselves to become whooremongers; or to make their wives as good as themselves, let them depart. But let all o∣thers, dwell together with them as men of understanding, bringing in honor to their Marriage by this personall duty. So much for this chapter, and first office of the man, be spo∣ken.

CHAP. XI.

Proceedes to the second Personall duty of the man: Providence.

I Proceed according to my order,* 1.698 to the second severall dutie of the husband, & that is in one word, Providence. As he is the husband in name, so must he bee in deed: he must play the good husband. Neither hath he his namo fer noght: for the husband is as the house-band, which (as the cor∣stone to the sides of the building) holde in all the parts of the house: which would soone dissolve and cracke, if (under God) his providence did not support it. He is the steward both for his wife, and himselfe: especially without dores: He is not to put his wife to it, as one insufficient himselfe to menage it, but (considering shee hath her handsfull at home) he is to undertake the whole burden abroad: as beeing the party, to whom (by divine dispensation) the credit of the well-improoving it, doth belong: and therfore upon whom, the shame of the contrary must lye. God hath put into him a spirit of deeper insight, forecast, prudence and prevention, then the woman, to this very end. And to say the truth; The Lord hath imposed this burden upon him in Adam, instantly upō his fall, as the penalty for his base yeelding up his autho∣rity to his wife, & enslaving his spirit to hers when yet his fre will abode enite. True it is Adam was to til the garden before his fall, even during his innocency: but that was a labor most sweet & contentfull unto him. To the sinner doth God give toile and sorrow (sayth Salomon) and so,* 1.699 since his sin, labor is waxen a toyle and vexation to him, and is, so that now in the sweat of his brows, he must get his living. He that shakes off this yoke, is a double Rebell, both against the first charge in innocency, of not disobeying, and secondly against the penalty of suebjcting himselfe to travaile. In respect heerof, Iob sayth:* 1.700 Man is as naturally borne to labor, as the sparkes to fly upward: as naturally deputed by God to the one, as sub∣ject by his owne sin to the other; as the Ebrew word [gnaval]

imports, which includes sin and toyle in one. The woman brings all her state and stocke, putting it into his handes, resigning it up to him as her agent, and the more able party to improove it: if he faile her, he betrayes both his trust to trechery, and her state to embezeling. There be two sorts of Infidells taxed by the Holy Ghost: the one in our Saviors wordes, Take yee no thought what ye shall put on, or eate; for your father knowes what is meet for you. And why? The infidells do but so:* 1.701 And the other by Paul. He that pro∣vides not for his family, hath forsaken the faith, and is worse then an Infidell:* 1.702 Excesse of providence, aswell as defect of it, both are taxed by the name of heathenisme. Therfore, so farre as good conscience will permit, the man is bound to the Law of providence. He must oversee the affaires of his owne household,* 1.703 as Salomon speakes, he must looke to the flockes of sheep, and heards of cattel, laying in provision for thē: by this one, urging the whole Baylywick of providence requisite for the support of the family. And that which the Apostle speakes,* 1.704 is to the same purpose, That the husband lookes in his way, after the things of the world, that he may please his wife: he speakes not of it, as of their blemish (so they adde no excesse and sin to the act) but as a necessity impos'd by Gods Command.

Now as touching that point,* 1.705 that the husband in severall must close with this speciall duty of Providence, appeares by the honor which hereby he procures to the marryed condi∣tion. And this I suppose no man will question. For why? Wherein stands the Princes honor, save in the wealth of his subjects? And wherin is the honor of a State save in both? what peace can subsist, what ware can be supported without wealth? Even so here. The husband is the Prince of the fami∣ly, if he be base and beggerly, what is more ridiculous? what is so pittifull to behold, as a poore King, a titular Prince, that hath nothing to support his state, save a bare right? beeing the whilest most forlorne and for saken? So, how shall things belonging to the diet, attire and welfare of the family, be provided, if the Treasure faile? And how can that chuse but faile, if Providence the channel of

this fountayne faile? If the Pilot of the ship be idle or a sleep, what shall become of the ship? Must it not needes run on ground, and be swallowed up in the quick-sands? And, what a dishonor is it for him who should compt it a more blessed thing to give, then to receive, who should reach out an almes to six and seven, and do much good? himselfe and his family to become burdensome to others by his penury? Especially when, not the hande of God, (which can overthrow the best providence) but the improvidence of the ydle or ill occupied husband hath procured it. Again, when the husband honors marriage by this Providence, those who fare well by it, ho∣nor him backe againe with the rendition of his owne. The weake woman and the shiftlesse children, seeing what a prop, and father of a family the Lord hath set over them, acknowledge his care, with honor to God, and reverencing him, as the instrument of their welfare, next under God. He resembleth after a sort,* 1.706 God himselfe, whom Paul calls the Father upon whom all the families of the earth depend, and are called by his name: whose honor it is to fill all with his blessing, to provide for all creatures their due food in season, as they need it, with clothing and other things both for need and comfort: even so, the eyes of all the family media∣tely looke up to the Master therof, looking that by him as a steward, the Lord should furnish them with necessaries; yea, to end this, how honorable is such an husband, even in the eyes of them, among whom he lives? How is both Church, Commonwealth, & Towne beholding to such, as are pro∣vident, for the upholding of peace, the Gospell, & the poore? If all were careles Husbands what must become of all these? Some I grant shall ever be poor, but these subsist in all these respects, by the aide of the Provident, when as spend thrifts do nothing but pull downe the house with their hands. The conclusion is, If the personall diligence of the husband do so much honor his marriage, he hath good cause to put to his best care, to be provident.

[Quest.] But here is the question, wherein this Providence of his consists? For answer wherto: I conceive that this point, might tempt mee to enter into a Commonplace of Provi∣dence;

But I will waive that in this place, attending the pointe as here it standes,* 1.707 cutting off whatsoever doth not peculiarly touch this relation. [Answ.] I say then, This gift stands in sundry points. First and principally, it standes in learning per∣fectly the trade of his way,* 1.708 even while he is yong: If there must be teachers, Teach a childe &c. then there must be lear∣ners: This is the Seminary of Providence in husbands that they have learned their way,* 1.709 in youth. There must then be a foresight of things to come, in youth; and a willing subjecti∣on of themselves to such wisedome and painfulnesse, as may enable them, with skill sufficient in their trade of life (what sort soever it bee of) to bee provident. The very Pismire is taught by instinct: but its not so heer, man must be trayned with much adoe, and discipline, to be provident. First by [ 2] wisedome, he is to shun all unlawfull, scandalous and base wayes or Trades of life;* 1.710 & apply himselfe to that way which is most warrantable, & best agreeable to his nature (whether ingenuous, or mechanicall:) and that by the direction of his wisest Governors and friends. Mocke trades savoring halfe of idlenes, halfe of worke, base Trades which import a shif∣ting, indirect and ill reported way of Support, and profane Godlesse Trades of life must be abhorred. Such as to be a Serving man for inheritance, to keep an Alehouse or bowling Alley, to be a stageplayer, Dancer or the like. Secondly he must compasse for himself through Gods blessing, by the lear∣ning the mistery of this or that meet Trade, ability & experi∣ence to himselfe, to make him a provident husband. He must [ 3] have his eyes in his head, to observe and marke the secret of his way,* 1.711 that he may get insight and experience; he must not be so wise in his owne way, as to slight them who should teach him the right way, which may maynteyne him after∣ward: But he must subject himselfe with teachablenesse to their direction, that an habite of skill may accrue therby. For, not onely through the totall lacke of a trade, but the halfe still in the trade, and inexpertnesse therin, many of all sorts, procure to themselves most uncomforable and shifting courses in marriage, whether bred to meanes, or wanting them.

[ 4] To this, adde, curiosity and giddinesse of braine, in med∣ling with many trades,* 1.712 and fickle wearinesse in attending upon thine owne, carrying a busie heart and eye over the trades of others, having many irons in the fire at once, so that some must needs be marred: this error must be ab∣horred. And there is none more common: and yet very dangerous, stealing away the heart from a setled applying of the mind to one thing, distracting it to many: as we see how many curious braines, prying into things beyond their skill, and trying conclusions, for the satisfying of their humorous spirit, have layd all their estate and hopes in the dust.

[ 3] Thirdly a stock must follow skill, to helpe the improoving of skill.* 1.713 The best husband may sit still, if he want where∣withall. Yet, we must know a little stock is a stock, as well as a great one, all have not the like abilities, but all sorts must be occupied about their stocks, more or lesse. They who have but one talent, have sutable expences, or contentment in lesse: they must not bury it, but imploy it, as farre as a little will extend,* 1.714 looking at the promise; Though thy beginning bee but small, yet thy latter end shall bee full of encrease. Although other trades outstrip them by their stockes, yet they go not so fast forwarde but providence and blessing may follow, and sometymes overtake them, if there be faith and patience to wayte, and not be discouraged. Each mans stocke is his owne, or ought to bee; Such as have not the patience to bee doing with a little, but must hasten beyond rule, to borrow, and rake a stocke together, or to fol∣low their first Credit out of breath, till they loade themselves with more dealings then they can digest, are not like to at∣teyne to much, but lay a foundation of Bankerupts. For, a competent stock followed with moderate diligence, though it be sure of no great encrease, yet (usually) frees the owner, from excessive losses: which are much worse then slow gaines.

[ 4] Fourthly, skill and Stocke beeing gotten,* 1.715 (though some trades consist more in manuall worke then stock, and others in the activity of the mynde, not the body) there must be an

of the one to the other; else providence fayles. The upper milstone of skill must run upon the other, of Stock. The hand & the saw are not enough to cut the log in two, there must be an hand of life, to moove and draw the one upon the other; and so, some what comes of it. This Mort-maine of sloth will spoile providence, what skill and stock so ever there bee be∣sides: & therfore there must bee all dexterity, cheerfulnes, and painfulnes exercised to keep life in a trade. A wise, seasona∣ble taking in of wares, of Commodities, at the best hand, paying old scores, ere new bee made, warily: and a putting off in season, not overpassing our best marquet and opportu∣nity; an accomodating, plyable and acceptable spirit to traf∣fique with others, (a fine gift to be a Chapman if it go with∣out basenes and flattery, and with truth and simplicity.) To bee as ready to put off, or take in, without eyther rashnes in the one, or covetousnes in the other; are all meet proper∣ties for a provident husband. The Apostle Rom. 12. 11. hath one sweet rule for this: Not slothfull in businesse, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. q. d. So far as Gods worke is not hindred by our owne, its a comely sight to see a man active in his employment. The diligent hand (saith Salomon) maketh rich:* 1.716 and, in all labor there is abundance, if it be wise. He sayd not amisse that sayde, I love when I eate my meate to eate heartily, and when I am at work, to follow it closely: so to do each thing as if (for the present) I did nothing else. Its a com∣mon saying, He that keepes his shop, his shop will keep him. The speech is usuall. Its not enough, not to be idle, except a man be well occupied too: early up, & never the neerer, is to small purpose. A wise, judicious head is as good a toole for a Trade, as a nimble apprehension; lest cost without wit, proove wast. Here then observe some Rules.

First begin thy action and workmanship with God:* 1.717 and the rather if thy service be the worke of Study, of the mind especially. Trust not thine owne wisdome, but commit thy waies to God.* 1.718 That so, as thou hast shunned a bad trade, so [ 1] thou maist abhore all basenesse in a good one, which easily creepes in,* 1.719 under color. Its in vaine to build, except the Lord bee the Master builder:* 1.720 Except the Lord watch the

City, in vaine are the watchmen: in vaine it is to eate browne bread, and drinke water, rising early, and lying downe late; for, he giveth rest to his beloved. Many have miscarried in their thrift and prosperity; no man can tell how, or why? save only that irreligion hath bred a secret can∣ker, and shut God out of doores. I have noted it, some cannot keep out the waters from flowing in, and wealth from en∣creasing, while they in a manner sit still: and others fray it away by their eagernesse. For the one counts it the honour of their faith to sit still,* 1.721 (thy strength shall be to sit still) and make no hast: the other by their hast, fill themselves with snares. God will be the chiefe mystery in all trades: not Ma∣nu-factuaries and Merchandize onely, but even Sciences, and ingenuous Studies: even Scholers must place the Bible a∣bove all their bookes: and all sorts of set prai••r above, and before all their worke.

Yet so make Gods providence chiefe,* 1.722 as not destroying thine owne.* 1.723 Beware of base cowardly Sioth. Ease slaies the foole, both body and soule. It puts hand in bosome, but is loath to pull it out. Its like Jacob, for frost and heate, and all weathers;* 1.724 it frames lyons in the way, if it should put foorth it selfe, lusking in a bed of idlenesse, loathing action. Such should not eate.* 1.725 The idler is the companion of the waster; whiles he rolles upon his hinges, foldes his hands and yanes after more sleepe and sloth, he hastens poverty up∣on himselfe, as the necessity of an armed man. The thornes on his backside are his Emblem. Yet abhorre being ill occu∣pied, as much as sloth. There is a golden measure in all things: Our proverbe saith, better sit for naught, then stir for naught. Rash, headlong, wilfull, indiscreet busying a mans selfe, may proove worse then lying in bed: as some eager on••s, keep wares (at a good price offred) till they proove trash: Its a question whether there be more husbands proove beg∣gers by the pot and pipe, then by overmuch nimblenesse, and deepnesse in the world, and medling too much.

Thirdly,* 1.726 a good husband must beware of loathing and wearisomenesse in his calling;* 1.727 when gaines come not in, according to thy expectation, and desert. (for I speake

still to all Artists, both studious, and manuall) Looke not at other trades of quicker returne and dispatch, to bring thee out of conceit with thine owne. Abide in the vocation, wherein God hath pitcht thee. Hold the trade of thy youth, till old age; leave it not, either because thou thrivest not fast enough, or because thou hast thriven enough alredy: still shew that thy trade is not thine onely object. I deny not, but some cases there may be, where the trade may be altred: as when stock is wanting, without dangerous bor∣rowing upon usury: when its so sunke, that it affords no competency for the family: when some other is offred wherein as much skill as in the former, or some marke, of providence appeares that the change is from God. But, to pick quarrells with our trades, that we might turne to such as we conceit to be speedier for returne and gaine, that we might be rid of our owne, threatens future misery under the speciousnesse of present commodity: To goe through many trades, is the high way to beggery.

Fourthly,* 1.728 subject thy selfe to thy trade of life, not for gaine sake,* 1.729 but for conscience, (whether thou get or not) as that yoke which God hath put upon thy necke, to try thee: to tame thy sloth, pride and other sinne, that the penalty of Adams curse,* 1.730 may become to thee (as Jacobs curse upon Levi, through his obedience to God, became to him) a bles∣sing. The travail of the husbands hands,* 1.731 and labour may possi∣bly be made to him (as the travaile of the wombe is made to the believing wife) a benefit and favour. Onely the re∣bellion of an unsubject heart to the obedience of God, (in what kind soever) brings a curse. The richest man, yea the Gentleman, must hold his trade still; the poorest also must abide in it: both, as in their vocation. The Lord tries there∣by, the faith, patience, meekenesse, bounty, thankfulnesse, selfedeniall, uprightnesse and paines of the husband. Its not given for men to fledge themselves and mipe their fethers by, but to avoide temptations and snares, which if we avoid not, but incurre neverthelesse (as most doe) we turne Gods remedy into an encreaser of the disease: that is, an occasion of eager worldlines surfiting with cares and excesse, a bai••••

of oppression, usury and unrighteousnes. Besides by the cal∣ling, the Lord would teach a Christian husband, to know, what that portion is which hee purposes to alot him, and what not: and doth thereby serve his providence in the competent support of us, and ours, without sin and sorrow. For,* 1.732 such is the portion of the righteous.

Fiftly,* 1.733 beware of moiling and toiling in the world, onely to pocket up and hoard treasure and store,* 1.734 filling our bellies with Gods hidden store (as David Psal. 17. describing the ungodly, speaketh) which one day will bring a wasting and consumption as fast, either upon our selves, or ours. But abhorre all such aiming to enhance our selves above others for the jollity and pride of life. This is the cast of most men, if once become great, to bestow all upon their pleasures, in hawking, gaming, prodigality and wantonesse, that they might have much the more (as that heathen said) to satisfy their lust and appetite. To set their wives, children and selves on float in the bravery of buildings, in curious fashi∣ons, or costly apparrell, and the like. The Lord can pluck your plumes quickly, if wee drinke to be drunke, or forget our beginning to bee from the dunghill: (as indeed none growe prouder then such base ones) keepe we modera∣tion then, and be sober: God tries us by prosperity, what is in us; we may enjoy the travell of our hands, and the bene∣fit of our welfare, so, that prodigality on the one side, and base niggardise on the other, (which commonly in this self∣loving world concurre) be abhorred.

Sixtly,* 1.735 (which perhaps to some may seeme strange) God will have thee maintaine thy husbandry and providence,* 1.736 by serving him with the encrease of thy labour, and his bles∣sing. Looke about thee and see what objects God hath planted for thy bounty to be bestowed upon. Thy wealth if it be a standing poole, will stinck and baine thee; If it be a streame, it will be sweet, and all the bulke shall be pure unto thee. As in the Manna, all had their due; the plenty of the gatherer of much, abounded to the supply of him that lacked. By the decaies of others, God trieth thee. If when blessing comes in upon thee, thou welcomest it with an evill

eie, saying, This is little enough to pay debts, this will do well to encrease my stocke, this is for the clothing of my children, I will spend this upon costly apparell for my wife: and all that comes is onely for thine owne use; and thou shrinkst up the bowels of thy compassion so much the more: know, this will destroy all as a Canker bred in a fayre apple; No, say thus, This plenty will serve mee, and God too: part of this shall supply the defects of my faythfull Minister, poor decayed neigh••our, such a poor widdow, such poore Orfans, poor Students at Vniversity: hast thou such an heart to the poor members of Christ, (that no complaints may be heard in thy streets, that thou, and they may meete together and worship God with the more joyfull hearts, that the Gospell and religion of God may be supported, both in peace and especially in persecution? Its a signe, that God meanes to make thy horne full, and thy winep••esse to burst with new wine: well continue, & doe so still; try the Lord if he will not requite thee: Thy goodnesse cannot reach unto the Lord him∣selfe; let it extend to his saints & such as excell in vertue; Sēd thy treasure to heaven before thee,* 1.737 cast thy bread upon the waters, trust God, & after many daies, if thou trust God, it shal returne againe. Many rich husbands professe religion, but all their serving of God,* 1.738 is no other, thē the poorest Christiā may performe: to pray, heare, conferre: But as for the dutie they owe to God as rich men, they cast it behind their backe. They thinke that their workes should hinder their faith: and so hoard up hundreths, yea thousands together, but do no∣thing till God by degrees, wast and consume both them and their posterity, as a moth, and at last roote them up quite, out of the land of the living. Beware of this curse therfore.

Seventhly,* 1.739 if any aff••onts, losses, ill successe, or discontents befall thee,* 1.740 in thy course of providence, by ill debtors, ser∣vants, children; looke up in thine innocency with cheerful∣nes to the smiter; aswell, as in thy gaynes. Both are alike from him, even to weane thee from the sweet milke of those brests, which thou art loth to be weaned from, to knocke thee off from hence; and to prepare thy spirit for better wel∣fare; Bee patient; Trades are as the sun, which though it set

over night, yet returnes in the morning; Iobs latter dayes, after he had been tried, prooved happier, then the former; And,* 1.741 when both the mizer and waster, shall both be left to want, the Lord yet shall susteyne thee, and thy faith (which yet the world thinks will buy no meate in the marquet) shall be such currant pay in heaven, that it shall purchase thee a∣bundance upon earth.

To conclude,* 1.742 let all thy providence determine in this full point.* 1.743 That hereby, thine heart may rejoice, thou and thy wife enjoying the fruite of thy travaile, that thou mayst not be like to them, that roste not that, they got in hunting. For what hath a man of all that sore travaile and labor, which as a poore son of Adam, he hath taken here under the sun? save that a man eat and drinke, and cheere his heart in the good∣nes of the giver:* 1.744 and rejoice in the wife of thy youth: let her share with thee.* 1.745 I meane not as Iob saith, That he kisse his owne hande, and magnify the Idoll of his provident head, saying; All this hath mine hand gotten: nor that he soake himselfe in the Creature, and set himselfe to looke upon the sun in her brightnes, and the Moone in her encrease, adoring the outward meanes, and denying the Almighty: this were Idolatry and Sacriledge; No, but quietly and thankfully pray∣sing God, and rejoycing (as those Israelites were charged to do when they brought their first fruites) in all which they put forth their handes unto.* 1.746 Taking with a loving right hand, that which God reacheth out, causing themselves to serve him with a glad heart, for all which the Lord hath don for them: Better thus, then as many do, pursing and stopping up in holes & corners, in an ragge, or in the ground: & per∣haps here one debtor running away with an hundreth, there another cheater with fifty; or perhappes, a theese digging thorough & stealing as much in another kynd. To the wicked God gives toyle and vexation of body of spirit, more discon∣tent then all their plenty can breed peace: wheras the rest of the Righteous is sweet, bee their portion more or lesse, tho∣rough the good will of him that dwelt in the bush, added to their Providence. See then, that it be so, that thou play not the block under all mercies, so that neither a good day should

mend, nor a bad paire thee. But first for thy outward conditi∣on, proportion thine expences according to thy revenews, as neer as thou canst: keep downe thine heart, and then its lawfull for thee to live according to thy meanes. Cut thy coate according to thy cloth, rather living at an under then an over rate; as knowing its easier to fall then to rise, and yet understanding what scantling God allowes; yet better be a cheerfull dispenser, then a base niggardly grudger at the use of what God hath given. As the good woman sayde, hus∣band better spend it freely as God sendes it, then knaves run away withall. Thē for thy spirituall course, let thine heart be doubly and trebly cheerfull in the Lord, saying with her, my Soule magnifies the Lord, and my flesh rejoices in his salva∣tion: If I ought to make him my strength in the lowest ad∣versity:* 1.747 although neither vine should beare grapes, nor the olive her fruit,* 1.748 although there were neither Calfe in the stall, nor bullock in the flocke: how much more then, when my pathes are anoynted with oile, and my streames run full of butter and hony? And so much (if not too much) for the an∣swere of this question, wherin providence standes.

[Vse. 1] I conclude all with use: and first of reproofe (for this point is fruitfu••l in unfruitfulnes;* 1.749 first, how many husbands [ 1] are there, who (contrary to the vowes made to their wives in this behalfe,* 1.750 at their entry upon marriage) cast off this burden from themselves,* 1.751 & lay it wholly upon the weake shoulders of their wives? In the mean while themselves bearing them∣selves upon the fidelitye or thedrudgery of the wi••e at home, go abroad, and open the sluce and floodgates of prodigality and wastfulnes, that all the labour of the wife at home, can∣not damme up the waters. They spending and spoyling more abroad in an houre, then the woman can patch up or redresse at home in a weeke: and so outstrip her way, by their owne, till all be brought to ruine! Oh! the misery of such wives that suffer, should I say, or rather husbands that procure it: but in∣deed both one and other? Others leave their houses at large, committing all to wynd and weather, to sinke or swim, while they follow their lustes, companies & pleasures; without con∣troll. Thus, wofully inverting the method of God, injuriously

laying a double loade upon the weaker party, till her shoul∣ders cracke againe: who yet undertake it to shun utter debt, and yet at last fall into it neverthelesse: To these adde ano∣ther sort of such as enter into marriage without any calling [ 2] at all,* 1.752 having brought this snare upon themselves by neglect to learne the trade of their youth,* 1.753 for vanities sake, and ser∣ving their lustes, and so, (although they repent them of their folly, yet still they are destitute of skill in their vocation, and so expose themselves to a vaine & wearisome course of life, to many snares and temptations, as this for one, basely to live upon usury: and wanting skill to bargeine, buy & sell, eyther they must live upon the stocke, till it be spent, and then runne up and downe shifting & hanging upon every mans sleeve, or else live upon the sweat of other men, while they live idly so that,* 1.754 of all other members of the Common wealth, they are most uselesse to themselves & noysome to others. Thirdly others,* 1.755 who under colour of religion and zeale, waxe care∣lesse, in matter of Providence, and in a diligent watching to their calling, and lawfull employments, thinking it a veniall error, yea a prayse to them, that having somewhat to take too, yet they are not worldly: to whom it may be replyed. Neither are you provident husbands, to mainteyne your fa∣milies: for know ye, that faithfull attendance to a calling, is farre from worldlynes: that is, rather the honor of a Christian husband, to be providēt. Nay, some will run out frō their shops & Trades, (as men weary of worke) from house to house, hi∣ther and thither; and all under colour of religion, as to heare Sermons ten or twenty miles off, in the weeke day (their wyves and children beeing unprovided the whiles) and bee∣ing poore men, and behind hand, abide by the 3. or 4. daies in places, to confer, to repeate Sermons, to utter some gift of their owne, as their memory, or Prayer, or broach some new point of their owne devising, or lament the evills of others: (••hings good, in their kind, and within their compasse, but) as they handle them, most odious and unseasonable. And thus, t••ey delude such as are simple mynded Christians, rob them of their goods, under these colors, by their craving, com••layaing or borrowing; wheras, children and wife at

home, famish, and themselves by such bad custome, more and more wax unfit and disabled for the worke of provi∣dence: whereas, during this time, they might have gain'd more at home by labour, then they can scrape up by their ill courses, besides the reproach to religion. These are inordi∣nate livers.

Fourthly,* 1.756 others, not having beene train'd up early, in some lawfull trade of life,* 1.757 are faine to take up base and dis∣honorable wa••es and shifts to live upon; as, to get licenses for Ale-houses, to set up houses for tipling, dicing and plea∣sures; others, shrowding themselves under the wing of great personages, set up Bowling-allies, to toll in the Gen∣try to pastimes, (which they are much more prone too then to workes of charity) and so, they withdraw inhabitants from their trades, spoile their servants with idlenesse, and toll in poore men of the country to drinke and spend their monies, and when the raine hinders their sports, then to their cardes and dice within: And such are the remedies of men, who having spent their youth in idle service, must live upon the sin of others, and the overthrow of the coun∣try. Others, through idlenesse play the vagabonds, and take their vagaries, seeking their fortunes, within or beyond the seas, or play the Parasites to Gentlemen, serving all their turnes for their advantage, and most sinfully betraying them to wickednesse. Others spend their time, in devising and li∣ving by their wits, cleaving to young heires, dissolute spend∣thrifrs, to fill their bellies.* 1.758 Nay, how many heires themselves, who might have subsisted comfortably, either in their Pa∣rents familie••, or upon their inheritances; and followed their callings with successe, and blessing: yet, falling upon lewd companions, and waxing loose and un••rideled in their manners, either match themselves basely and contrary to their Parents aimes, or if married better, abandon wife and children, give themselves wholy to whoring, gaming, riot and wasting of their substance, till they have stript them∣selves of meanes, wit, and honesty, to the unspeakable vex∣ation of Parents, if they live to be witnesses, and of the ut∣ter desolation of soules and bodies, wife and posterity? How

is the country pestred with such vermin? How doth the Divell by this meanes, uphold his Kingdome, (for he hath fit covers for such cups) and hereby gather kites to the carrion, fits them with sherkers and horsleaches, who by flattering and admiring them for their bounty, squeeze out all from them, and leave them as Gulls! Oh ye fooles! how long will you delight in eating and devouring your owne flesh? will no perswasion enter, till (as Sampson was from his Dalila) so you be haled from your lusts, and like fooles to the stocks: that is from taking of purses by the high way, and such cheats, you be haled to prison, to the gallowes,* 1.759 to hell it selfe, without mercy stop you! Oh! you Parents, cease your raking and scraping up of goods for such spendthrifts! or, for, you know not what ends, for the encreasing (to bee sure) of sorrow to your selves, while you live, and of sinne, when you are gone! Doe good with that you have, l••••t God sting you in those children, and childrens children, for whom you as basely hoard, as they power our sinfully! Sooth them up no longer in their sinne, who are li•••• to bring your hoare heares with sorrow to the grave!

Fifthly,* 1.760 how many husbands are there, who by their heady improvidence,* 1.761 either borrowing to stock themseves more then ever they can pay, or selling their wares underfoot, to procure present monies (by which a while they feed their Creditors) do for a short time set up their top sailes, a while, bearing it out with other mens wealth, and when they can hold no longer then they leave them in the lurch: many such wretches, ruining the whole families of many better hus∣bands then themselves, with their wives and children. More fit (in truth) to be hang'd up, then to pester a Common∣wealth: and some other maintaine their state and pompe by such desperate courses, even under a colour of religion, causing hundreths at once to make outcries against profes∣sors, when they prove Bankrupts. Adde sixthly to these such hotspurres as will not be idle, but runne into another ex∣treame of wilfulnesse, rushing upon matters beyond their skill, and reach: affecting plots and inventions of gaine, either

by Adventures, or by new Manufactures, resolved eyther to winne the spurres, or to lose all. And so, they have lost all indeed, and withall drawne many with them (who were as greedie of gayne) into deepe expences and forfeits of their states, and indeed they are both well enough served, to teach them (as Paul speakes) to follow their owne affaires with quietnes. Others weary of their slow-paced Trades, desirous to hasten them,* 1.762 how do they enlarge their providence, (ra∣ther their greedines) as hell,* 1.763 thrusting as many irons at once into the fire, as they can come by: adding house to house, and farme to farme, borrowing upon eight, (gayning scarse four) in the hundreth, yet dreaming of golden mountaynes. Till at last, (the mistresse of fooles teaching them too late) they per∣ceive, their haste to have brought foorth blind whelpes, and wish they had made no more haste, then good speed. Eightly, how ordinary a course now adaies is it with men,* 1.764 (as I touched before) to wrangle with their callings,* 1.765 that they might change them, and seeke others, till (as the dog catching at the shadow) they lose the flesh, and forfeit that they have: which is, to cast their present reall estate upon the casual and uncerteyne hope of things to come.

Yet since this occasion is offred, I speake not, as if all de∣serting of a calling,* 1.766 or diversion from it, for a time, were unwarranted. For sometime it so falls out by providence, that a man deserts Country and all, and departs to such a place, as will not admit a possibilitie of the exercise of his calling: so that in the one, he must needes yeeld the other. Againe, sometimes the outward members, senses, and the inward abilities of a man desert him, and disable him from his calling: when as yet some slighter employment may per∣haps befit him well enough. Necessity of banishment caused many holy men, to make buttons and points for their living, who before had studied and written books. So also the trade may bee so growne out of request, eyther by multitude of Traders, or by deadnesse of the wares, that they cannot sup∣port the workemen: or they may bee so low, and require so much work to be done for mony, that a trader cannot live on them. Shall then the mayntenance of the family, hang upon

the strict point of not change of a calling? No in no sort. But in these or any the like cases, (wherof are many) the end must rule the meanes, and any other lawfull course, which lies neerest to the skill or sleight of the workman, is allowed, for the support of the family. Onely let men beware, lest out of a fickle, ungrounded, lazy, wearisome, covetous, reaching, aspiring spirit, they desert not their Callings: and, if they needs must, yet let them chuze to divert rather from them for a tyme, and returne to them after, when providence yeelds opportunitie for it, then shew that they willingly and slightly were mooved to abandon them at the first. But this by the way.

Endlesse it were,* 1.767 to mention all abuses in this kynde: but to finish,* 1.768 how many have wee, who through their Rebellion, will not be subject to the duty of Providence? Others, who spoile all by improvidence, and having sold all, even their wyves clothes off their backe, make a mocke of it, saying If any can make more of their wyves, then they have done, let them take them! How many others, who having gotten a faire estate by their Providence, yet wast it as fast, by their jollity and lavishnesse? making their houses Through-faires for Epicures, and boone companions, disquieting their poor wives from their setled family busines, to wayt upon such base Companions, contrary both to her spirit & conscience! Or, if not, yet farre from honoring God with their Encrease, or their marriage, with wise dispensing of their estate. These excesses have (as thou mayst see good Reader) caused mee to lengthen out this Argument, as if I had not only treated about marriage Providence, but providence in the generall, & the contrary thereto. But I hope, that some may light upon what I have sayd, & amend. Thus much for the use of Reproofe.

[Vse. 2] The latter use is Exhortation: Let all good Husbands honour their Marriage and the Lord, by a faithfull im∣proovement of this duty of Providence. Let them avoyde all extremities,* 1.769 both on the right hand and left: and in weldoing commend themselves to God as to a faythfull keeper, and God alsufficient. Let them neither go to worke carkingly, nor yet carelessely. Let them abhorre ydlenesse, and yet shun

ill occupiednesse. And by that I have sayd of the sin of Im∣providence, let them learne the contrary: and so shall they (as much as in them lyes) build up the house, give good ex∣ample to their wives to do the like within, serve God with cheerfulnesse, and enjoy the fruit of their Travaile with contentednesse, when the slothfull and prodigall shall perish and vanish. And for this second peculiar duty of the husband, viz. Providence, so much, and for this Chapter.

CHAP. XII.

Treateth of the third and last Personall Office of the man, Honor of Respectivenesse to his wife.

NOw I proceed to the third and last duty of the hus∣band towards his wife,* 1.770 which is honor, and due re∣spect to his wife. The ground of which is the ordinance of God,* 1.771 by which, they are made one flesh. For so sayth Moses, when the Lord had brought the woman to Adam, he em∣braced her, saying, This is bone of my Bone, and flesh of my flesh: Shee shalbe called woman; because shee is taken out of man. For this cause shall a man forsake his father and mo∣ther, and cleave to his wife, and they twayne shalbe one flesh.* 1.772 Lo, with what honorable esteeme, he welcomes this his blessed compeere into the world. Now, its true, the wife in this respect,* 1.773 oweth the like tye of tendernesse towards him: But, we must know, this first lyes upon the man; to her ward, because he is the roote of the relation. Wee say, that love de∣scendes from the Father to the Child, because he is the foun∣dation of the reference. Not, but that mutualnesse is required; But the Originall roote must first impart himselfe; Now upon this roote of union, the Apostle enforceth this duty: No man ever hated his owne flesh; But nourished & theri shed it as himselfe: He then that hates his wife, is an unnaturall monster, and devoures his owne flesh. He that loveth his

wife, loveth himselfe. We know, how it is in the body. Vnion of parts causing samenesse and uniforme subsisting in one, procuring an exceeding tendernesse, compassion and sympathie betwixt each member. So that although the foot stumble and give the body a fall, yet a man will not be so mad as to smite it, because its one with it selfe, and suffers the same fall with it. So here. The samenesse of flesh, which the woman hath with the man, makes him naturall and sym∣pathising towards her: and not to hurt or hate her in her weaknesse, and stumblings, but to bear with her, condole her, and count himselfe to suffer in her; his content, joy and welfare not to stand in himselfe but in her, who is another selfe, and therefore to be as willing to wound himselfe, hurt and hate himselfe, as to hurt her.

By vertue of this union,* 1.774 and neerenesse it is, that there ariseth in the spirit of an husband (who is not degenerate,) a marveilous natural and tender instinct of sympathie towards his wife, in all her complaints, and infirmities. She is one with him in all things, one in flesh, one in generation and posterity, one in blessings and welfare, copartner also in all crosses and wants: All these are common: the husband shares with the wi••e, and suffers in all her diseases, paines, trials spirituall and bodily. Selfe doth ill, and selflove is odi∣ous▪ between n••ighbour and neighbour, yea stranger and stranger: much more betweene father and child; brother and sister: but most of all in this superlative union of marriage, wherein two bodies may truly be said to be linked into one soule. Here then to affect a singularity, a privacy in so close an union, and for the husband to be a man by himselfe apart, from her who is one and the same flesh with him, what a podigious selflove is it? union breedes love, and love, sym∣pathy and compassion; but where selflove abides, union and love are absent. And from hence it is, that in another place, the Apostle addeth,* 1.775 giving honour to the woman, as to the weaker vessell: which giving of honour, is nothing else save the peculiar office of the husband to his wife, (and as I may tearme it, the way of his tendernesse) when as he willingly resignes up his manly authority sometimes, and

wisely abridgeth himselfe of that power to the utter most, which else he might usurp over his weaker wife. And in stead therof, wisely considers, its the honour of a man some∣time to be under himselfe, to forget his strength: there is a providence, in the government of this vast world, and it stands in the overruling of some inferior creatures, that they may not know their strength over the superior, but be kept within compasse (as it were) by a necessary and naturall restraint. Even such a voluntary tye hath the Lord put upon the more fierce and rough nature of the male to the female, that there may not onely be a consent, from hurting and of∣fending each other; (for so Lions and Wolves agree toge∣ther) but further, that there might be a vertuous and more generous forbearance of authority over the weake vessel: As acknowledging, the headship of the man is given him not to discourage or destroy: but to direct, benefit and build up the wife. That as God cloathes the weaker members with the more honour; so, wee should condescend and vouchsafe the like respect to the womans weaknesse. Al∣though a proud, and base spirit would hold his owne, leap∣ing over the hedge, where it is lowest; yet a wise and un∣derstanding head, will of his owne accord yeeld, and give honour and respect unto the woman as to the weaker vessel. Surely if a father be said to spare his owne sonne who feares him: and the Lord will be master even over the Parent, that he bee not bitter to his children to tread them under feete, but count it his honour to passe by the corrigible errors of his children: then what should that sparing eye, that indul∣gent heart and hand, that honour and respectivenesse bee, wherby God swayeth the husband (being but her equall) towards his yielding and tender wife? And in a word, I say this giving of honour, is the more speciall way of the man, then of the woman: for though she be so to him, yet in a divers way, and in a more naturall kinde, as it were ac∣cording to her frame: for who takes it not for granted that a thing naturally framed to tendernesse, should act her own property, and give honour as due desert to the husband? But in the mans giving honour to her, there is a more vertuous

and royall disposition, that is, an abatement of the right invested in man, lest excesse of right might proove excesse of injury? and a yeelding of that tendernesse and sympathy, out of mercy and love, which else neither perhaps the merit of the wife would require, but to be sure the surlines & roughnesse of the man would not easily contribute.

[Reas. 1] And, of this, many reasons may be yeelded: For why? Is there any thing gayned by Austerity and roughnesse,* 1.776 when the dint therof returnes upon our selves? Is honor and respect lost upon the wife, when it reflects backe from her, upon her husband? Is it not well deserved on Gods part, when we not only behold what graces he hath put into the wife, as Trea∣sure into a vessel of earth: but also how little is got by the con∣trary, whē a rough husband too much yielding to that which is corrupt, doth turne edge therby in his wife, and force her to that which seemes to be most disguized & against nature, that is, [Reas. 2] to be fierce against the husband? Agayne, as the Apo∣stle sayth;* 1.777 Do we not willingly beare with fooles, our selves beeing wise? And is it not as meete, that we beare with the weake, wee our selves beeing strong? what a betraying, rather a forfeit of a Masculine (not to speake of a religious,) spirit and a bewraying (not of a feminine, [Reas. 3] but) of a brutish & base folly,* 1.778 is it, when a woman shalbee faynt to be are with an husbands seelynesse and fraylty, as the stronger with the wea∣ker? what a dishonor is it to marriage? Besides what an obli∣gatiō doth a religious husband stand in to his yokefellow, for infinite many fruits of love & service to him in every kynd? Not to speake of that command of God which is above all, [ 4] tying the husband to his wife for conscience sake,* 1.779 though shee should fall short of the duty: as once a good husband sayd to an undeserving wife, Blessed bee God yet who hath given mee a wife who will do this or that for mee upon ne∣ver so unkynd termes? But, much more, if shee be deserving at his handes, for all her tendernes in sicknes and health, is it much, if shee receive due honor and respect from him? If thou owe her thine owne selfe againe for them, is it much, if thou repay tender esteeme & prising of her? If thou oughtst to lay downe thy life in some cases even for thy Christian

brother, rather then expose him by thine unfaythfulnesse, to danger, how much more shouldst thou expose thy selfe rather to the greatest hazard, then betray her who is weake, and unable to beare? Remember the president whom God sendes thee to, the Lord Iesus: As he loved his Church, and gave himselfe for it to the death, that shee might escape it, so oughtst thou to redeeme thy wife in case of such a danger, when thy bearing will laten the blow from her. When the Lord Iesus was taken by the souldiers, If yee seeke mee (saith he) let these my chickens depart: Take not the damme on the neast with her birdes: Let these be free: let all the danger light upon my selfe. If then this tendernesse must extend to life it selfe, surely then well may this tribute of an inferior ranke be shewed. But, I cease to discourse the point any further.

Well then (will some kind husband say) wherein stands this respect and honor which I owe to my wife?* 1.780 I should be loth to wrong her of ought, which she might plead, (through my ignorance) or which my selfe (if I knew it) could be∣teame her? well (in hope there shalbe no love lost) & that thy wife will requite it, when as (in the next point) shee shall come to the like triall: I will do her & thee this favor, here to lay out her Priviledge, and thy duty. But first its not amisse a∣gaine to recognize breefly, that which I spake of, the modell & the Canon of this Duty: which the Apostle layes downe thus,* 1.781 As Christ loved his Church. Before, he had sayd, He that loveth his wife,* 1.782 loveth himselfe; But, knowing, that selfe is sometyme an ill judge and crooked rule: he amends it, by a better, even the Golden Rule of that honor and re∣spect of Christ towards his Church, which never fayles or exceedes the mediocrity. What is thē that indulgence & ten∣dernesse which thy selfe wouldst either wish or look for from Christ thy head? Teach thy self, therby, thy office to thy wife, (in the measure of thy Grace) & tender it to her. Dost thou desire alway to be accepted of him, & find grace in his sight? Let thy wife finde the like from thee. Wouldest thou have him doe all thy workes in thee and for the? Show thou the like Grace to her, do thou likewise: require not the uttermost

service from her, but let her doe all in the comfort of thy love & acceptance. Wouldest thou have him compt all thy deeds, not according to strict law and performance of full measure, but according to sincerity of endeavor? Do thou also so esteeme of hers, according to the will and affection whence they proceed, though they faile never so in degree. Wouldst thou have him to esteeme thee according to the better and not the worser part? So doe thou interpret her. Wouldst thou have him save thee from sorrow? So protect thou her, and let thy love be her banner. Wouldst thou have him to feed, thee, and fight for thee, to bee thy Protector and Champion? Should he stave off thine Enemies, and catch their woundes in his owne side, which should else light on thee? Wouldst thou have him to stop the mouth of each dog from barking or biting thee, yea even to keep each cold wynd from nipping and blasting thee? Even so, stand thou betweene they wife & her harmes, and cover her head in the storme & raine, not only with thy cloake, but thy best prote∣ction, against any annoiance. Wouldst thou have Christ af∣flicted with thee in all thy troubles, to pitty thee, suffer with, and susteyne thee, by his patience, courage, & long suffring? So, let thy blood run in her veynes, and thy marrow in her bones: sustaine her like wise by thy meeknes, and long-suf∣ferance, shee is also flesh of thy flesh, and bone of thy bone. Dost thou expect at last, that he should at last redeeme thee out of all thy troubles? Dost thou also (as far as lyes in thee) seeke rest for her from all hers: let no enemy of hers, encoun∣ter her alone, but know he hath a double enemy to fight a∣gainst, noteasy to contest with. Thine are hers, hers are thine; rejoice to see herrid of all, if God see good, which way it seemes best to himselfe to deliver her: meane time, be thou active, passive in all with her. In a word, whatsoever thou wouldst have Christ do for thee, the same doe for her, for this doubtlesse is to be conformed to thine head, and to do the part of an honoring and respective husband to her.

These generalls had need be branched out into some par∣ticulars: else perhaps,* 1.783 it will not be easie for every one to conceive them. These therfore that follow may serve. First,

let this respect begin at her soule: procure to that, the cheefe good, that it may fare well. The tender love of Christ stands in this, that he gave himselfe for the Church; why? Not to make her such as shee her selfe woulde,* 1.784 not to give her the full swinge and swaye of her owne will;* 1.785 But, to wash her, to purge her, to sanctify her, as peculiar to himselfe, having nei∣ther spot, nor wrinkle; So do thou: begin with this, and this shall guide all the rest: Thinke not this to be thy tendernesse to thy wife, to deale by her as David by Adonija, whom his father would never from his youth, speake a wry unto, that is, aske him, what dost thou? But rather in this is thy tender∣nes, if by any wayes of God, allurements, yea milde and well seasoned reproofes (if need be) thou mayst be an instrument of her good. Its not tendernes, but exceeding and degenerate softnes in an husband, that, because his wife is well pleasing to him in some carriages, therfore he should rather suffer her to go on in deep ignorance of God, and her selfe, and go the broad way to perdition, rather then he would grieve her, or speake one worde amisse: especialy, to be so base and remisse, that, when he knows he might winne her by his loving ten∣dernes, he shoulde rather neglect her by his Carelessenes, No, if thou be tender truly, her soule wilbee thy principall object, and thou wilt present to her those tender mercies of Christ, those bowels of compassion in him to the church: never linning till Christ hath by his blood washt her soule from the naturall uncleannes of it, forgiven her, and taken away her guilt and blemishes. If her face were stayned with some spots, how studious would he bee to tell her of them, that she might wash them off? how much more that Christ Iesus might call her his Hephziba and Beulah:* 1.786 his dove, faire one, and pretiously beloved? that he might behold her washt and cleane (as the sheep comming from the rivers to shea∣ring) from her scurffe, accepted of God, and (as much as flesh may bee) without spot or wrinckle, eyther of guilt, or apparant corruption: a vessel purged and prepared for every good worke. No worke so honorable as this to make thy wife a vessel of honor to God first, and then for marriage. Thus Paul describes that tendernesse of Christ: and yet, that

washing and rinsing of her, must cost some hardnesse, save that Mercy and love oversweetens it: and then it will seeme plesant. Nourish and cherish and hate not thy owne flesh, in this first respect,* 1.787 as Nathans lambe, in the true bosome of the Lord Iesus, the tenderest husband that ever was.

Secondly,* 1.788 this thy Respect and Tendernesse must reach to her person,* 1.789 and that in her Safegard and Defence. Thy wife walkes (under God) in the shaddow of thy wings and protection. Thou must bee as a vaile to her eye, to keep off the dint of all lust and strange desires, as Abimelec told Sara of Abraham: As the eyelid is made by nature a tender filme and very mooveable, and watchfull to the body of the eye, that no dust or mote fall into it to offend it; so must the ten∣der husband come betweene the least aspersion of reproach and infamy cast upon the name of his wife wrongfully: And when thou art dead, let her rest safe in the Ark of Gods prote∣ction, by the benefit of thy living prayers, before sent up for [ 1] her,* 1.790 to the throne of grace, that God would be an husband to the widdow; that so even when dead, yet thou mayst speake. But, while thou art living, thou must bee as a wall of fire to her; let everie one that hath ill will to thy wife, (as many will have, even for that which deserves honor) knowe that they maligne thy selfe; Nay, herein love her better then thy selfe that thou wiltright some wrongs done to her, which perhaps (if done to thy selfe) thou wouldst passe by more strongly: Let her Name and honor, bee as sweet oyntment unto thee. The husband who shall content himselfe in the generall love of his wife, beeing yet supinely negligent of her repute, [ 2] or enduring any,* 1.791 within doores or without to disesteeme her, without sharpe rebuke: or to bee knowne himselfe to see any of her weaknesses, with the least contempt, is not worthie to have the comfort of her vertues, or the love of a religious companion. The like I say of her body, both in health and sicknesse. Whatsoever diet, or warmth or shelter, [ 3] either at home,* 1.792 or abroad, by thy selfe or others, thou seest necessary for the preserving her in health and vigor, from the least assault, or impression, that neglect not: keepe away wether, distemper, disease for her: be as a Physitian according

to the discretion thou hast, and the knowledge of her body∣lie frame and infirmities, in the absence of better helpe; Pre∣vent all dangers from her which possibly might assault her; and what soever sorrow or sad newes, ill and sudden acci∣dents thou deemest, would disquiet her, turne them away if it bee within thy power, or keepe them from her notice, lest they might overthrow her spirit, or weaken her body. Yea, as our Lord Iesus did, so do thou, if a danger must needs ceaze upon thee, provide it may not come to her knowledge, or as little amaze and affright her, as may bee. In her diseasednesse, neglect no meanes, which either thy counsell, purse, or friends can helpe her to: advise for soule, physicke for body, attendance and nursery to person: Grudge not that shee lyes upon thine hand, But, as thou wouldst have (I say not her, but) Christ himselfe to tender thee in thine, so do thou her, in her defects.* 1.793 Let it appeare to her cleerly that her life is preci∣ous, and her losse would be uncomfortable. If the poore Shunamite, seeing her child dead, lockt it up in the Chamber, hasting to the Prophet: proventing al pudder to her husband, aldisquiet in the family, by taking it upō her selfe; how much more should the husbands wisedome and tendernes reach to thy wife, that no Sicknesse or Sorrow might ever ceaze upon her more deeply, then needs must, if thou canst keep it off.

Say not with unnaturall Nabals,* 1.794 Thou tookest her not for sicknesse, but for health: for better not for worser: know∣ing that good wives in their health, lay up desert enough to be tendred in their sicknesse: The wife is not for nothing sayd to bee under her husbands covert. Doe thou as Boaz did to poore Ruth, upon the cold floore, & in the chill night▪ spread the lap of thy garment over thy beloved;* 1.795 I charge you (sayth the husband in the Canticles) O yee danghters of Ierusalem,* 1.796 watch by my spouse, sit by her and keepe silence, wake her not untill she please. Good reason shee have more rest thē thou, let thy waking be her security, gaster her not up too early: sluggish women will not, good ones should not be waked too soone. Shee is alway in griefe, & that for thee, & by thy meanes; what day weeke, moneth is she free through the yeer, breeding, bearing, nursing, watching her babes, both

sick that they might be well,* 1.797 and well, lest they be sicke: If she lose a childe by the hand of God, or by casualty, her tender heart takes more thought for it in a day, then thy man∣ly spirit can in a moneth: the sorrow of all lies upon her: Shee had need to be eased of all that is easeable, because she cannot be eased of the rest. We reade in the fable that the male sparrow once accused the female, for that she did not so much take paines in building of their nest, as he did: But she replied, There was cause why shee should pleade exemption: Shee had all the trouble of laying the egs, of sitting, of hatch∣ing & feeding them, and therfore some reason she should be spared in the building of the nest, let him do that, who did no∣thing else, and she prevailed. And shall not shee, who allea∣geth for her selfe, with more reason? Get her asleep if thou can, but awake her not, till she please. And, tell mee, shall not her ease be thine? Or canst thou have any, if she want? Little dost thou thinke of those gripings, checks & pangs where∣with she walketh, whē as thou goest through stitch with thy matters with an hardy courage. If all wives be not so, I speak not so much in their behalfe: but the good wife is usually so; yeeld her this fruite of tendernes, its all the milke thou givest. Yea, let thy hollow cheeks, pale face, sad heart, be as a Calen∣der, in which others may read thy wives infirmities, their number, their measure, and how long they have continued. I speak not Rhetorique unto thee,* 1.798 but Divinity: As and husband must loath uxoriousnesse,* 1.799 so, much more Stoicall insensible∣nes, remembring who it is, who sayth, Erre in her love: let thy soule know no other objects while shee lives, let them be abhorred. And when she hath breathed out her last, yea, even when she lyes by the walles, yea in the mouldes, yet then is there another honor due to her memory, when shee is not: even this, that thy hand be upon thy side for the losse of ano∣ther rib, thy sweet companion; Mourne not for her without hope, like an heathen, (shee is not lost, but sent before) but yet as Abraham, as Jacob, so mourne thou, even till the dayes thereof be accomplished: Bee not as the horse, as the Fruit Creature, without sense of her worth, thy losse: Else some beasts will exceed thee in tendernes: thou art worse;

a very blocke: And for this second particular so much.

Thirdly,* 1.800 shew this respect in thine ingenuity and open∣heartednesse. Its an unkindnesse alone,* 1.801 not to shew love: to walk overloosely, dismally, and darkely towards her. Thou canst doe no more to a stranger. I say not that she is capable of all secrets. There is a season for all things. And had Sam∣son been as wise at last, as at first to conceale his secrets, he had done wisely. But there is a golden meane: con∣ceale not thy selfe too farre from her. Impart whatsoever is meete, let her know the difficulty of thy businesse, if the knowing it may either afford her content, or thy selfe advise. Let not strangers tell her of thy follies, to cause her to suspect thy respectivenesse:* 1.802 She is but simple, that may not speake a word in season: Rams hornes, and empty pitchers have conquered cities,* 1.803 and armies: and the woman that called herselfe but a weake one, once delivered Abel: and why may not thy wives helpe thee! Its no wrong to thee, for her to desire a voice in thine affaires, who must be sure to smart in thy bad successe. There is (I say againe) a discre∣tion in ordering this businesse. Neither to impart those things wherein griefe would overcome acceptance; nor to conceale such, as wherein by thy imparting them, either her counsell might overweigh her griefe, or at least, prevent the suddennesse of a disaster. Its a thing wherein the weake sex counts it selfe graced and satisfied, not to bee made a stranger to those things, which love and ingenuity would and should impart. As for uttering any thing, which is needlesse, or might be a snare to her indiscretion and weak∣nesse, its better kept a way. But, darknesse breeds ill blood of jealousie, hard thoughts, a striving for the like darknesse of behavior, or to seeke other bosomes to lay her complaints in, when thou little thinkest of it, and perhaps worse then all these. She is laid in thy bosome by God, that thy bosome thoughts, hopes, feares, desires, together with thy selfe, might lye in hers: So for this third.

Fourthly,* 1.804 comfort her in all her heavinesse, and first for her soule and spirit;* 1.805 The anguish thereof, and the wound of conscience, is of all other, most intolerable. Yea, though it

be onely some outward greefe, yet if pierce the spirit with any more then common distemper, it exceeds any sicknes & empair of the body. Shew thy self more tender to her therin, then in all common troubles. If thine owne wisedome, faith or experience will not serve to heale it, seek out, and enquire after an Interpreter, one of a thousand, who may rightly and duly weigh her estate, both the causes and effects therof. Vpbrayde her not with her zeale, which were to aggravate her disease. Fret not at her going to Sermons; lay not the falt upon that, wishing thou hadst never seene her eies, quar∣rel not at thy lot, accuse not providence, because thou seest her in perplexities: perhaps God hath begun with her, that he might end with thee. But however, lin not using all means, till God have spoken a word in season to her very soule, saying, Deliver her, I have accepted a Ransome: till her flesh come againe, as a little childes, and she recover peace. Happy art thou,* 1.806 if God shall so make thee an instrument of her good that thy selfe also mayst bee drawne neerer to God by affli∣ction, then prosperity could ever have brought thee. And, put case that the distemper ceaze onely upon her naturall spirit, as by Melancholy, through passions of feare, and sor∣rowfull objects working upon her mind, or through some hereditary pronesse of constitution to mopishnes and dis∣content; by all which God cuts her short of wonted liber∣ties, calling and service of marriage, and thee from former contens of life: bee not in these disquiet and impatient: No∣thing hath befallen thee which is not according to man: use the best meanes of restoring her spirit againe, by Physick, counsell, wise secrecy, custody, tendernes of regard: and so wayte with patience, till God restore her, or what ever be the issue, charge not God foolishly.

Fifthly spare her weake bodie,* 1.807 from all toile and labor of wordly employment exceeding her ability:* 1.808 yea although shee should bee too much addicted therto, and hardly held therefrom, yet disswade her: Shee is thine owne flesh: thou wouldst thinke him unmerifull, who should breake thy backe with too great a burden. So do thou, and ease her. If nurserie exceed her strength, & yet her conscience will scarse permit

her to lay aside and free her selfe of so naturall, so religious a worke, yet tell her, God loves mercy better then sacrifice: If God deny her ability, or breasts, grudge not at God, at the charge of nursery abroad, to ease her at home. If she have not strength to be both wife and servant, let the latter yield to the former, redeeme the comfort of a wife, with the charge of a servant. Provide her that assistance and atten∣dance, which is meet for one, who chuseth to be, to do all in one for thy sake, had not God denyed her. Strong shoul∣ders are meeter for houshold businesse, then decaied ones: and releeve her with seasonable tendernesse, for there is a shew of respect which appeares all at once, when the vitalls are spent: a peny cost in due time, will do more good to a sinking house, then a pound, when it is ready to fall downe. So she shall hold out the longer with cheerfulnesse in mar∣riage duties: He that should do otherwise, were not worthy to have a free horse, much lesse a willing wife.

Sixthly,* 1.809 yield her the indulgence of all decent and sober refreshings,* 1.810 and recreations of body and spirit, which may ease the tediousnesse of body and spirit, through the unces∣sant and never ceasing yoake of family businesses. Remem∣ber how oft, her faithfull biding by it at home, hath enlarged thee to travaile abroad. Thy ground and soyle, if it want her alternall revivings, and rests, cannot last long: whether by allowing her the converse of her friends for bodily, or of the ordinances (when she is straitned) both changes of aires may doe well, and helpe both body and spirit. At other times, some other releases of labour, such as occasion offers in many kindes, either neerer hand, or further off, eft one, eft another, may cause her to returne to that ser∣vice with alacrity, which else she should attend with an unequall mind.

Seventhly,* 1.811 connive and conceale with wisdome those in∣vincible defects,* 1.812 ignorances, yea though it be uncapable∣nesse, which either the frailty of her sex, or the speciall frame of her minde, or perhaps the inexperience of one un∣trained in some businesse, may produce. A Camell cannot go through a needles eie. According to her strength, so is she:

looke for no deed, beyond power, nor wisdome above ca∣pacity. Oppose unto her invincible blemishes, her incom∣parable graces: which no art, nor nature can attaine; no flesh and blood can teach. Satisfie not, neither pardon thy self, till that honour which thine heart can freely give her for that which is pretious in her, make thee impotent to dispa∣rage her for her infirmities. Though perhaps others would note them, yet its thy best art to hide them. Remember this, perhaps, even thy wives defects may make for thy contents. If she were a more compleat woman, she would finde more work to be humble; and in some of her abilities, might per∣haps give thee occasion of less patience. Here now is the tri∣all of giving honour to the weaker sex; because God wil have it so. Dissemble what thou canst not amend: Ofttimes, her sudden treafnes, or impatience come not so much from her selfe, as from oppression of mind, faintnesse of spirits and much employment. Encounter her not with like passion, lest God shew thee thy folly, ere thou die, in another more unwelcome glasse. Many a foolish husband hath a froward wife, because he will have one, hath not the wit to have any other, any better. What an honour were it to thy wisdome to beare with her confessed weaknesse? as going backward with Shem and Japhet to cover that from the eies of others, which thy selfe art sorry to see. Perhaps some o∣ther of her qualities have not a little graced thee, cover therefore the rest with the mantle of thy wisedome. And so perhaps, with that painter, by veiling a blemish in the face, which he was loth to expresse, thou shalt adde to her beau∣ty, to thy owne honour. When her passion shall be over, and her error past, she will more dislike her selfe through thy concealing of her wants, then thou canst dislike her for be∣traying thy credit.

Eightly,* 1.813 commend her vertues, without foolish flattery: not as a man,* 1.814 who therfore markes them, that he might praise them, (which is basenesse) but therefore commends them, because tendernesse will not suffer thee to smoother them. Grace can no more be coverd, then a blemish: both are as oyle in the hand, Inward gifts, outward parts and perfor∣mances

cannot but delight thy mind, and senses: let both in their season, for her encouragement, breake out from thee, by a tender, loving acknowledgement. But as for up∣brayding her before others, or traducing her in the fami∣ly by open reproofes, odious comparisons, unsavory im∣putations; abhorre it. Knowing that all thine and her skill, is little enough to keep her from contempt of inferiors: but if thy contempt be added to the rest, it will make a breach, not to be repaired.

Ninthly,* 1.815 allow her all needfull, and some complementall charges and supplies:* 1.816 let her have for comfort, as well as necessity; considering how soone thy selfe wouldst repine, if God should straiten thee with the onely necessaries, but not the overplus of Marriage comforts. Its not onely thankfulnesse to her, but to God also, to rejoice in seeing thy wife walke and demeane her selfe chearfully, in the use of that liberall allowance, which thy tender heart can be∣teame her. I doe not here bid thee put the bridle out of thine owne hand, yeelding to her the stroake of chusing to her selfe the fashions, attire, company, and expences, which she pleaseth, such as sute not with thy place, and sober con∣tent: (for alas! what poore thanke should a woman give her huband, for making her as proud as the worst) but I say, furnish her with such conveniences as thine own judgment and respect thinkes meet for her, and her sober mind and de∣sires affect. M. Calvin, a man otherwise of some what a reti∣red and austere disposition, yet being married, perceived that there be in women, (as he prettily cals them) many tolerable follies and toyish vanities, which a tender husband should do better to oversee then denie her. He that wil needs wring his nose too hard, will draw forth blood, and there is a geniall li∣berty to be permitted to a womans liberties, companies, mer∣riments, toies and trinkets, which the gravity of an husband should shame it selfe in peering into. Many trifles they affect for their children (of that sex especially) many complements about themselves, some rearedges to bestow upon the meet∣ings and lawfull merriments of their kind, which it were a poore thing for an husband curiously to enquire after: and

his wisedome to be trust her with, as knowing, shee knoweth how to use them. (Perhaps the French exceeded the English in these) But let this bee the rule, Better in such a case, wherin the spirit of a wife takes content, to be rather indulgent, then too strict: so long as the maine Canon of Modesty, thrift and deceny, bee not transgressed.

Lastly,* 1.817 since rules in such cases can hardly bee given, ther∣fore as the morall Philosopher biddes,* 1.818 do in this case, as Ten∣dernes and a Respective heart would advize. Thats ever the best counsellor. Remember, thou seekst the honor of thy Mar∣riage. Wherefore, whatseover else is meet, loving, mercifull, forbearing and tender, as thou expectest prayse, honor, or re∣quitall, ensue it: give no way to strict, unbeteaming, violent wayes. He that handles a Christall or Venice glasse harshly, deserves to repent him for breaking that, which sleight and tendernesse might have saved. Precedencie in sitting is gran∣ted by an nationall custome to the sexe of women: by which, all other priviledges of giving honor and content to the weaker vessel, are intimated. A wise resigning up to her cu∣stodie of things within, jewels, plate, and things of price, tru∣sting her fidelity, and ascribing to her wisedome the oversee∣ing and menaging of domesticall affaires incident to hus∣wifery, without narrow, suspicious inquiry after the expence therof, not distrusting skill or faythfulnes: & so in like cases. And thus much be sayd in particular, for the answer to this question, wherin this Tendernes consists.

[Vse.] That which I have sayd in Doctrine, may serve for use and all:* 1.819 save that its true which Salomon speaks, Bray a foole in a mortar, with a pestill, yet, will not his folly depart from him. So I say, a churlish, a froward, loutish and ungeniall hus∣band, will either see no error at all, in himselfe, by al that I have sayd, or hold his own neverthelesse. I have seen an evill under the sun, Nabal married to an Abigail, a tender sweet companiō, worthie of such an husband as her husband him∣self is unworthie to wayte upon: yet so farre is he from retur∣ning to her like for like, that rather the grace of the wife is a continual upbrayding to the husbands currishnes; occasioning to his implacable spirit so much the more insolency, to insult

over her, and to tread her under his feete. What sand is so weighty to the shoulders, as such a foole to a worthie wife? well worthy after her death and losse, to meete with lettuce fit for his lips, I meane with such a contentions Zippora, as might outshoote such a Devil in his owne bow. What one grace of a thousand doth such a block behold in his ver∣tuous wife? when did he ever feele himself burne if shee were weake? What affliction of body or mynde coulde he ever fynd in his heart to condole for his wife? What one kid gave he at any time to her out of his flocke, or twelve pence out of his purse, to make merry withall? what one lap of his garment did he ever spread over her! Or what, I say not blast of cold wind, but sad crosse did he ever keep in tendernesse from her? himselfe being both a nipping East wind to blast her hopes, and a perpetuall dropping, to dwell with? Many an in∣famy and blot hath he suffred to light upon her head, though he needed not, himselfe being the upshot of all! Oh the snares which such unnaturall wretches bring upon inno∣cent women, but ease them of none! Oh the narrow eye they carry over them, watching them as the Cat the mouse, from either good Sermon hearing, loving friends, frequenting abroad, or Christian company at home! Stripping their bo∣dies of good clothes, their purses of mony, their hearts of de∣light, their soules of grace (as much as in them lies,) if grace were not past their reach to rob them of! what one peny ever gave they them for good use? If they knew of any, who should endure the tempest of their violence, they will see their owne turnes served to the uttermost: But as for easing them of their burdens or being drawne to resigne up their lusts and loose liberties, to joine with their wives, in the bur∣den of house government: those Israelitish bondmen were as good complayne to Pharao, or those other subjects to R••ho∣boam, as they to their husbands, for their tale of bricke should be but multiplyed, & their fingers should proove heavier thē their loyns before. I might be endlesse: But, I blame only the faulty, for I know (and God forbid else) all are not alike. Ma∣ny, not onely irreligious,* 1.820 but meerly civil ignorant ones, have had tender, melting hearts to their wyves; so unnaturall

wretches, are all unmercifull, respectlesse husbands in this kynd, even bred upon the rockes, and nursed up by Tygres, yea fiendes in the likenesse of men. Let them alone: but O thou woman that fearest God, persist neverthelesse in thy uprightnesse! serve God not man, and vile man for Gods sake? do not repent thee of thy goodnesse, give thy worke to God, & still heape up hot coales upon the head of the Bar∣barous, if they melt not they shal burne to hel, & bear a while, he that commeth, will come, & not tarry, causing thy light to breake out as the morning and thy Righteousnes as the noone day. He shal plead the cause of the despised wife, and quit her of her adversary: bringing his wickednes upon his owne pate. And of this third severall duty of giving honor, and so of all the three, thus much be spoken.

CHAP. XIII.

Treates of the personall dutyes of the wife. Ana first of her Subjection to her husband.

IT is high time now,* 1.821 having dispatched the husbands duties, to proceed to the next branch in which the preserving of Matrimoniall Honor consists, to wit, the peculiar duties of the wife to the husband. Else I know husbands would taxe mee for partiality: and I confesse, as I have no cause to con∣ceale the priviledges of the good wife from her husband, so neither must I withhold from her the knowledge of her offi∣ces and services towards him. The first and maine wherof, comprehending all the rest, is subjection to her husband: the second is helpfulnes: & the third Gracefulnes. By her subje∣ction she answers his understanding: By her helpfulnesse, she equals his providence, by her gracefulnesse she supplies his tender respectivenesse: in a word, she answers him (as face to face in water) so shee in marriage service with all correspon∣dence. Else how shall the relation hold firme and entire?* 1.822 First then of the first; This duty then of subjection, is the

womans great and cheefe commandement;* 1.823 and as St. Iames saith, he that can rule his tongne, is a perfect man, & can rule his whole conversation: so, shee who hath learned to be sub∣ject (for as Paul Philip. 4. is not ashamed to say of that grace of contentation, that he had learned it, so may the woman say of this) is a perfect woman. That, which was wont to be said of prounciation in Rhetorique, and of humility, in Divinity, that may be said of Subjection in this businesse of the wife, Its breadth, and length, it fills up all, yea, its all in all the whole duty of the womā: all other sticke at this, grant this, and all other follow of themselves. Now then, this great dutie of subjection, (so much cavild at by the Rebellious, & so much honored by the dutifull and loyall wife) must have a good foundation, both for the convincement of the bad, and for the encouragement of the good. The warrant then of this duty stands not in the opinion, choise or will of man, or flesh, no nor of nations, be∣cause the world will have it so. (for there is a world of wo∣men to gainsay as well as of men to alledge it.) But it is a firme law, from the will of the first ordeyner; because God will have it so. That very strict Imperiall Edict of Ahashue∣rosh, that,* 1.824 Every man should bear rule in his owne house, proceeded in a sort from a discontent with Vashti, & a desire to be revenged for the dishonor offred Ahashuerosh her hus∣band, and for prevention of the like, for time to come: But if all this streame of Authority had not met with another more strong one of divine Ordinance, alas it had beene no more terror to the sexe of women, then swordes and spears to the Whales skin, even as stubble and rotten wood. No, no, its an instinct put into the spirit of the woman, principling and convincing her understanding, will and affections, viz. The great God of heaven and earth will have it so.

[Reasons. 1] Wherof two reasons may be given: the one from the law of creatiō; the other from the law of Penalty, following dis∣obedience. For the first, The man (we know) was first crea∣ted, as a perfect Creature, and not the woman with him at 〈…〉〈…〉, as we know both sexes of all other 〈…〉〈…〉 not so here. But, after his consti∣tution

and frame ended, then was she thought of. Secondly, she was not made of the same matter with the man equally; but she was made and framed of the man, by a rib taken from the man, and being formed by God, into a woman, was brought unto the man. And thirdly, she was made for the mās use and benefit,* 1.825 as a meet helper, when no other creature besides her was not able to do it. Three weighty reasons and grounds of the womans subjection to the man: and that, from the purpose of the Creator; who else might have done otherwise, that is, yeelded to the woman coequall begin∣ning, samenesse of generation, or relation of usefulnesse: For, he might have made her without any such precedency of matter, without any dependancie upon him, and equally for her good, as for his. All shew a kinde of ennobling the mans sexe, and denying of her to him, as the head, and more excellent: not that the man might upbraid her, but that she might in all these, read her lesson of subjection. For o∣therwise, its also true, that neither the man without the wo∣man, nor she without him,* 1.826 but both in the Lord. And doubt∣lesse as Malachi speaks, herein is wisedome, for God was full of spirit; and hath left nothing after him, to be bettered by our invention.

[Reas. 2] The second warrant hereof is penall, and yet so much the stronglier tying the woman,* 1.827 being now in a fallen con∣dition. For this is sure, that (notwithstanding all I have said) yet the woman being so created by God in the inte∣grity of nature had a most divine honour and partnership of his image, put upon her in her creation: yea such as (with∣out prejudice of those three respects) might have held full and sweet correspondence with her husband. But, her sin still augmented her inequality, and brought her lower and lower in her prerogative. For, since she would take upon her as a woman without respect to the order, dependance, and use of her creation, to enterprise so sad a businesse, as to jangle and demurre with the divell about so waighty a point as her husbands freehold, and of her owne braine to lay him and it under foot, without the least parlee and consent of his: Obeying Satan before him, nay God himselfe; so

that, till she had put all beyond question, and past amend∣ment, and eaten, she brought not the fruit to him to eate, and so, became a divell to tempt him to eate; therefore the Lord strips her of this robe of her honour,* 1.828 accursing her with this penalty, that her appetite should bee to her husband. Which law is not as the law of the Medes and Persians, (for that must alter) but a Law which bred a Law, an instinct of unequall inferiority, and smote into the heart of Eve, a falling from her station, and subjected her to her husband. This appetite here spoken of, not onely meaning her weak∣nesse of desire for some speciall end, as benevolence, respect, or the like; but the totall subduing of the bent of her spirit to him, not thinking her subsisting enough without him, but a confessed yeelding up of her insufficient selfe (and that after a penall sort) to depend wholy upon him. A just hand of God upon her, that she who would be Paramount as a La∣dy above him, in sinning: should bee fetcht downe to a spi∣rit of feare and subjection under him whom she had so base∣ly dishonored.

And from this roote comes that of the Apostle,* 1.829 that the woman sinn'd,* 1.830 and not the man, (meaning, not first) she was in the transgression: and what then? Therfore let her be subject.* 1.831 Read the place. The man is the glory of God, but the woman of the man: Therfore she ought to have power on her head, in token of subjection and modesty. And againe, I permit not the woman to usurp authority over the man, but to be in subjection.* 1.832 And Saint Peter, let the women be sub∣ject to their owne husbands, lest the word be evill spoken of.* 1.833 And to the Ephesians. Wives submit your selves to your husbands, as to your head: for he is as Christ to the Church, the saviour of his body.* 1.834 So Peter addes, As those holy women formerly were in subjection to their husbands: Sara by name to Abraham, calling him Lord: By all these arguments these two Apostles (not the one who was married, but the o∣ther unmarried) doe conclude the woman under subjection; that without grudging, she might resigne up her selfe (un∣der God) to her husband. And doubtlesse, if it be asked, by what commandement this subjection of the wife stands in

force, its doubtlesse by the vertue of that fifth, which im∣poses obedience upon inferiors to their superiors (although in divers degrees) with an implied penalty of disobedience. And questionlesse, if looke no further, then the sinne and curse it selfe, in the letter therof, there is no lesse threatned to the woman then such a subjection to the man, as had paine and irking annexed unto it. Even as that other penalty also annexed unto it, of breeding and travaile, extendes to a mor∣tall paine and pinch, as considered in it selfe. In it selfe I say: for notwithstanding all this, the Lord our mercifull and indulgent father, in and through the mediation of Christ, hath in great favour asswaged and released the rigor and measure of these penalties, I have else where treated here∣of. If the common favour of Christ our Redeemer,* 1.835 had not eased whole mankind from the excesse of all sorts of penal∣ties, what were the life of man, but desolation and misery? But in meer pity to the accursed creature, weltring under her punishment, as a man wounded lies wallowing in his blood, the Lord Iesus hath brought things to a Reconcilement, both in heaven and earth. So, that the heavens heare the earth,* 1.836 the earth the creatures, and they man: who else should subsist.* 1.837 If the Oxe, Horse, Asse, and other beasts, which by mans sinne are of subjects, turn'd rebels against him, and be∣reft him of his Lordship, were not againe retracted to some useful subjection, who should come neer them? But now their rebellion to us is moderated, and a shaddow of our Lordship over them restored, not to the godly only, but wholy to the na¦ture of man:* 1.838 by whose industry, the wildest are tamed. I say, by a common fruit of the superabounding merit of Christ. Such is the release of this penalty of women: for though for their a∣busing the end of their creation by hurting & destroying him, whose helpers they were created to be; the Lord abased them to a low degree of inferiority to the man,* 1.839 and that justly: yet through Christ, this extremity is dispenced with, and re∣duced to a tolerable mediocrity for the ease of womankind. So that God can make that a royall and honorable equality (after a sort) which sin made a yoak of tedious slavery. But to the Elect its far better; Notwithstanding, through bearing

of Children, she shalbe saved, if she continue in faith, holy∣nes, and modesty: that is, her curse becomes a blessed occasi∣on of salvation. So in this point of subjection: it be comes an wholesome meane to humble the soule under the mighty hand of God, and the guilt of her nature, and so to drive her to Christ. And not so alone, but is a continuall holder downe of her soule under subjection to God, in the course of her conversation. And both make her in this religious awe and subjection to her husband, so much the more pretious in the eye of God, and all that know her. Lo a penalty made an or∣nament, very highly esteem'd of God. And as for those womē, who feare not God,* 1.840 yet this indulgence of providence, if it be not a meane to breake their hearts, and to seeke further to get a part in Christs peculiar redemption of the Elect: it shalbe (doubtlesse) a double aggravating of their condemnation.

[Reas. 3] Now for the third reason of the point, why the woman should for her part doe to the uttermost to grace & improve the married condition,* 1.841 by beeing subject to her husband, ap∣peares by this, that by subjections she preserves the honor of her marriage in the integrity therof. She is called the crowne of her husband. The Crowne Royall we know, is a rich thing, and richly beset: all to honour a true King, when its set upon his head in his coronation, before all the people. But a wo∣man made of subjection, is of a farre more pretious frame and mettall then a Crowne, or any thing which goes to it: and beeing set upon the head of her husband, honoreth him, not onely in the day of his marriage, but all his life long, in the eyes of all that behold her. No crowne glads the heart of a King, so as shee makes glad the heart of her husband. He is her King and Lord, though he should want this Crowne; for its not a wives rebellion, which can devest him of his authority, and honor, in point of right: he may he a poore pit∣tyed King, for lacke of this Crowne, but in right, he is a King neverthelesse: having his Crowne deteined by violence from him, and woe to them that deteyne the Crowne from the na∣turall Prince: exposing the person of so sacred an one (whom God hath made honorable) to reproach and dishonor; So here. God will revenge it, and make her that hath kept it

backe, to rue it, and to pay full deerly for her presumption. But when this Crowne is added to the heade of a lawfull King, then is his honor made up to the full; & such honor is a wife subject to her husband. Not as a Crown above but upon his head: her honor is not in being a Crowne aloft, but upō & for the husband; She is no Crowne of her selfe, but in respect of him whom she honors: receving back as much honor from that head which she Crowns, as she affoards unto it. Neither, is the honor of such a marriage betweene themsel. alone, (for honor is rather in the power of the honorer, then the hono∣red) but also it reacheth to many others;* 1.842 we see it in Ruth married to B••az. All the children of my people, knoweth thee to bee a vertuous woman, and him an happy husband in her, praying for them (as indeed it fell out) that they might do well in Ephratha, & be famous in Bethlem. How can a mar∣riage betweene an understanding head and a subject wife, chuse but be honorable? who can smoother the honor of such Couples, or judge whether of the two, is more succesfull in either? or who wisheth not, it were his owne case, or the case of any whom he loveth, to be married to a wife so quali∣fied? And well they may; for as it is rare to meete with such couples, so, the Commodity which they procure each to other, exceedes all commendation. All this considered, a wo∣man should be much too blame to desert her duty in this case, and to lay the honour of her Marriage in the dust.

What is then this subjection,* 1.843 and wherin standes it? For the former I say its such a convincement of spirit in the wo∣man touching the equity of Gods ordinance, (and her Pe∣nalty in speciall:) as causeth, both a falling downe of heart in humility to God, and her husband; and in her conversation to acknowledge & practize all such reverence, as be cometh her head. By this description, it may appeare, in what particu∣lars this subjection standes: to wit, cheefly in the spirit of the wife,* 1.844 and nextly in her demeanure, The former is that same, wherof St. Peter speakes of.* 1.845 The meeknes of the hiddē man of the heart, of an incorrupt and quiet spirit, which with God is much set by. He meaneth an inward principle of subjection of [ 1] the heart,* 1.846 which is first given up to God, purged of selfe and

Pride, (the seede of unsubjection) and then to the husband, for his sake. Although a woman have all outward accom∣plishments this way, yet, if her outward subjection begins before her inward (as many womens doth) it will vanish at last, as a lampe for lacke of oile. No framing of a woman, by most exquisite education, outward forming of the bodie to delicate behavior and semblance of subjection, can com∣passe this, no more then an Ape can attaine the qualification of Reason. No artificiall respectivenesse of the eye, the cur∣tesie of body, the silence or composure of the tongue, or the like, can secure an husband of subjection, except all these be acted from an heart of subjection, through the conscience of the duty. But, if the principle be sound, and an heart fearing God, awed by a command, issuing frō Christ his love & a wil∣ling mind, not from necessity, credit, or restreint (which will go farre, & make a great shew) then is this duty well planted, & wil endure. What is al that Mi••olls bewitching love to Da∣vid, (which forced him to sende for her long after her sepa∣ration) to that one basenesse,* 1.847 That shee despised him in her heart? The woman then, must set up her husband there, and shrine him in the secret of her heart; and then, all her exter∣nall subjection will flowe sweetly, fully, constantly, without grudging, and sit comely as a garment fit for the body.

[Object.] But, it wilbe objected, There is no rule so generall, but it admits exception. Women confesse, that, as the case may stand, and as the husband may deserve by his great learning, wisedome, gifts, grace, art, experience, or like abilities, some woman might be content to resigne up her selfe to her husband, and be subject to him, as to her head. But, as for or∣dinary husbands, whose deserts are small, and their defects great, (perhaps in some, or in most respects mentioned) it would prove an hard taske for a woman so farre to deny her selfe, [Answer.] as to be subject. To which I answere, God is not the God of confusion;* 1.848 he puts this burden of subjection upon no woman, who takes not the yoke of marriage upon her selfe; which the Lord doth force upon none, but allowes each woman, to be her owne Refuser, and to chuse for her selfe (if she can) such a man, as she can yeeld subjection unto, for

the excellencie of Gods image which shee beholdes in him. And there is no more then needes, in this caution, to prevent that base and carnall disdaine, which else might arise in her heart, against her husband, to wit, when she shall meet with an object of dishonor, and find little to provoke due respect towardes him: I say, the Lord, who knowes, that the spirit that is in man lusts after envie and scorne, would have this disease prevented to the uttermost, that so subjection might seeme not to come from necessity, but from free will. But yet, still I say, if a woman will balke such a command, and, either out of a present humor, or out of a carnall conceit (at first) that shee can lead and rule a simple man at her pleasure (which after shee findes an harder Theme then she wist) shall snare her selfe with such an husband as shee cannot deeme worthy of the honor of her heart: in this case, I will wonder that shee would snare her selfe with such a one: but being maried to her, I will presse upō her, the like duty of sub∣jection, as if he were the most complete husband of a thou∣sand: like (I say) for kind, although not for measure. For, tell mee, poore woman, who thus cavillest, what is it, which God hath aym'd at in this Ordinance? at thine owne endes, or his owne? and thy husbands? Art thou, so simple, as to imagine, when God hath imposed a yoke upon thee, to tame thy Rebellion; that he will (at thy instance) turne it to a Contentment of thy selflove? what singular thing dost thou in submitting thy selfe to excellencies and parts in an hus∣band? Is it not for thy selfe! And who shall finde out such an husband for thee, whom thou mayst not except against, as defective in some kynd or other? Know then, that God hath ordeyned subjection to an husband, as an husband, b••e he what he may (he is such an one as thou hast though fit) and therfore one whom God hath thought fit to receive thy subjection. If he have but indifferent parts, and abilities, and not many mens gifts united in one, then consider, he hath but the defects of one. And who art thou, O woman, hast thou the perfections of many women? Therfore looke upon thine owne defects, and thy husbands wilbe overseene. Count thine owne parts but ordinary, and thine husbands will be

tolerable. Enlarge his a little, and diminish thine owne, and so thou shalt meet in the halfe way, and make some equality. But howsoever, God hath set thee in place of subjection, howsoever: eyther to a man of worth, for his desert, or to a man worthlesse, for conscience sake, and for the sake of him who hath subjected thee. If thou obey for a Command sake, there is thanke, or if not, then for necessity sake, and wo to thee in both respects, if thou be not subject. A Minister is commanded to preach and watch for Conscience sake, not for living, or by Respects: A subject hath not that name for that he obeyes those Lawes of his Prince which please him, but because his Prince Commandes, ex∣cept he will endure the penalties annexed: If then either a Minister, or Subject will looke at God, whether gayne or no gaine, whether good Prince or unjust, and obey, or els woe to both: then looke also thou woman at the bare command of God; dispence not thou where God doth not. The same power that is in Commanding all to obey their Parents, for∣bidding all to worship Idols, to commit sacriledge; that same I say chargeth all wives be subject, forbiddeth them Rebellion.

Now yet I will not deny,* 1.849 but there is an exception to some kind of subjection. If thy husband stretch his authori∣ty beyond Gods bounds then and onely then, thou art per∣mitted to restraine thy subjection in that kind, with yeel∣ding [ 1] a reason. It was not the sinne of Vashti, (as I take it) that she offered not her beauty and person,* 1.850 to a vainglorious ostentation before the multitude; for, that might have been a snare to her as it was to others: but that she subjected not her selfe so farre, as was meet, to goe to the King, and to acknowledge his Soveraignty in all lawfull, meet things, to give a modest reason of her refusall, promising to submit her selfe in all other. Even so here. Though the wife bee tied, both in all direct charges of God, and in all other which re∣pugne not, I meane in things pure, comely, and good re∣port; yet if her husband will try her in the contrary, shee must in all humble modesty refuse, and say, whether it bee meet herein to obey God or you, judge yee. So that, herein

there must be wise caution used, that neither she streighten her husbands power, nor yet enlarge her husbands tyrannie, of her obedience to it. For (to digresse a little) not only the husband may presse the subjection of a wife in things arbi∣trary, but even in the omission of some commands. An exam∣ple of both wil cleer it. Two fashions of Apparrel are offered to a woman, equally decent and modest: she inclines to the one, he to the other. It were his discresion herein, to yeeld to her, the choice of her fashion: howbeit, if he will hear∣ken to no reason, but urge upon her his fashion, she must be obedient and denie her owne, for conscience sake. Againe, put case the husband requires his wife at such a time, to for∣beare the hearing of a good sermon, and to heare another at another congregation; or to forfeit the hearing of the word, upon such a Sabbath day, although in generall hee oppose neither hearing the word, nor keeping a Sabbath in the same kind and place; although its true, that the charge of hearing and keeping of Sabbaths, is Gods: yet because these Commands tie not to every time and place, and may in some cases be omitted, therefore, let the husband looke to himselfe how safely he restreines her of her liberty (lest God curse his usurpation) or otherwise; and stand to his owne adventures; But since such a restreint may possibly be lawfull, (though he harshly conceale it from her) therefore shee must not contest nor holde chat with her husband, why he requires it, but yeelde for the present, and afterwardes returne to her liberty againe. But if hereby, he encroach fur∣ther, to forbid her the Ordinances, shee must disobey. Onely in a case of particular abstinence, she must thinke thus, my husband sees cause of such a charge, I will not descant, if he should offend, yet I will not rebell, so long as any good con∣struction may be made of it, but meekly stoope and obey. I might be endlesse in instances; I deny not, but many a good wife mismatcht and put upon sundry extremities, is to be pittied and praid for: but not therfore to release her selfe from subjection and breake all cordes in sunder, because un∣pleasing to the flesh.* 1.851 As St. Peter telles them, They must strive for so blamelesse a conversation, and subjection to∣wardes

their husbands, though rude and churlish, as may cause them to magnifie the truth of God, and justifie their Obedience, and wish themselves in like condition with them, in the day of their visitation. Looke up therfore to God & yeeld to many unwelcome services (if they be not directly sinfull, but abhorring to have the least fellowship with them, as he said, Into their counsell, let not my soule come.) If thou be pressed to any base thing, which conscience starts at, as to keepe loose company, to weare garish apparel, to traduce the godly, or what else soever indecent and impure; forfeit the pleasing of thy husband on earth, and please a bet∣ter in heaven: who will bring forth his doves from the croc∣ky pots, and that with honor, when they commit themselves to him, in their innocency. Wheras flattering and tempori∣sing women, who in shew will hold with God, but yet keep quarter with ungodly husbands for their own ends; shall at last be detected for hypocrites and rewarded with reproach and dishonor.

I shall insist in the next Chapter in another Exception,* 1.852 which allowes a woman such a libertie in Gods matters with her husband, as to prompt and occasion unto him Chri∣stian speech, good counsell, with modestie and in season: for [ 2] the subjection we treate of, is not flavish but equall & royall in a sort,* 1.853 as I have noted: But to go on: Shee is not so to be subject as if in all cases, she ought alike to stand or fall at the barre and prerogative of her husbands will: Some cases fall out betweene them of greater difficulty, doubt and danger, [ 3] then ordinary: such as extend to the hazarde of estate, chil∣dren, yea liberty and life it selfe.* 1.854 In such cases, (if they be but arbitrary) as removall from present dwelling, upon great charge and losse, or, to places of ill health, ill neighbors, with losse of Gospell; long voyages by sea, to remote Plantations, or in the sudden change of Trades, or venturing of a stocke upon some new project, lending out, or borrowing of great sums, avoyding of debts, setling of estate, providing for chil∣dren, costly buildings, great enterteynments beyond ability, or such like instances, wherin the woman is like to share as deep in the sorrow, if not more, then the husband; reason

good shee should share in the advise, and not be compelled to obey perforce. An husband perhaps in such cases may ne∣cessitate his wife to yeeld, but he doth her the more wrong, for God in such cases leaves her to her freedome. Could a Martyr in Queene Marles dayes compell his wife to suffer in the same cause with himselfe, although both were of the same judgment? No: for her Conscience was her owne, and his measure might (haply) exceed hers, many degrees, both in knowledge, faith and Courage. It hath bine by some very strangely determined, that if an husband be resolved upon a remote plantation, the wife must follow, by hand and by head. But, under correction its neither so nor so: headship is not given the husband to destroy, but to helpe and edifye. She hath a judgement to inform as well as he, & must see her groundes cleere as wel as he: she must have leasure & tyme, to deliberate of it, as well as he, till she be resolved, that she may do that in faith, which shee doth. Therfore (with mode∣sty and discretion) its allowed her to deliberate, to alledge her reasons by her selfe, or by her friends, submitting them to the judgement of wiser then her selfe, and as shee shalbe cast and adjudged, so to deny her selfe and obey either way. And when Gods will is made knowne, eyther he or shee, are to rest, without further distemper each with other? Meane while, the husband is not to insult, threaten, and domineer over her as a Lord, who had his wives will captived to his owne: neither to desert and depart from her in a desperate way, but by all loving waies tenderly to draw her, and con∣vince her by the strength of reason, and the bowells of com∣passion. God speakes not now by lively voice from heaven, in such doubtfull cases, as once he pleased to doe in times past. Sara therby knew Gods will in her jorne is too and fro, as well as Abraham, and had his promise of protection, aswell as he: therfore her Subjection ties not women in like adven∣tures, now, as then. But now doubtfull cases must be scanned and determined, according to the neerest that Scripture, or reason import: that so, her obedience may rather flow from consent, then compulsion.

Thus,* 1.855 I have sayde more of the first branch, then I had in∣tended

to do;* 1.856 not so properly, as necessarily, to spare my selfe a labour in another place: let me now sound retreat to my rea∣ders thoughts: and come to the second branch of my divisi∣on, that is, the subjection of the womans practice. Which, al∣though it be but a shadow without the other; yet that must not pass for the whole paiment of the debt; for, who may not say, their heart is good this way, when as their conversation shews it not? But a subject heart appeares best, when a wo∣man saies little of that which is within, but leaves to them to judge, who heare and see.* 1.857 And this practice of the womans subjection,* 1.858 must appeare in these three particulars, in matters of Gods worship, in matter of the world, and, in her marriage converse. For the first, she is with an awful and single eie, and honouring heart, to behold in her husband the gifts of God; As namely, that ability which God hath given him, to be in Gods steed unto her, in all things pertayning unto her soule; as also to menage the services of God with her, either in the family or apart; as to reade the word judiciously, to catechize and informe in the grounds of religion distinctly; to admo∣nish the family, against the sinnes, and exhort inferiors to the duties of their order and condition, wife, children, so jor∣ners, servants. I say, she ought so to observe Gods image in these gifts of her husband, as to feel no spirit in her to despise him, to gain say, to compare, or censure them. Yea though her own gifts be more then ordinary, yet to conceale & suppress them in this kind, (except her husband shall at any time de∣sire to bee partaker therof in private for his spirituall quick∣ning, and then with all humble self deniall to impart her selfe with him:) and enjoy them to her self in subjection. Note it, that the Apost. when he is in the midst of his urging this duty to the wife, then doth he touch this point, saying, let the wo∣man learne in silence;* 1.859 and, I suffer not the woman to teach, or usurpe authority over the man, but to be in silence. You must note, that in this age, the spirit of God was powred upon all flesh, so that women as well as men had great gifts of under∣standing and prophecy vouchsafed them: which (no doubt) might put them forward to expresse themselves before their husbands. Now, if such women, then how much more must

ordinary womē be subject in this kind to their husbands? She ought indeed to encourage her husband cordially, to proceed in such a course, shewing it to be the joy of her heart, when she sees him to set up God in the family: She is to remove to the uttermost, all lets and stops, which might offend; as unsea∣sonable attendance upon businesse (which commonly offers it selfe most, when it least should, also the complaints and trouble of childrē: with other occasions of the family, as that might by her wise prevention, be cast upō other times as wel. I say, she is wisely to procure the opportunities of worship; but he is to menage and performe them: She being within doores, must take it her part to prepare and forelay the sea∣sons, for her husbands better ease and content in these du∣ties: a wise houswife will bee alwaies beforehand in her businesse, that so the house may be empty, swept, and gar∣nished for God to come in. She must abhorre (as I said be∣fore) to justle and shoulder out the solemne matters of God, yea or to cut them off by the middle, and contract them, by the colourable pretences of other matters. So tedious in her dressing and trimming, that a pin must not be awry, so slug∣gish and lateward in her uprising, so curious about her chil∣drens addressment, so tedious in her manifold proclamations and turnagaines, that it would yrke any Christian husband to suspend Gods worke upon such fooleries, and yet either it must be so, or worse. No no, accompt these things bables in respect of the other; that one thing necessary: learne to outgrow all such old customes as base, in Gods esteeme. The divell will never suffer a woman to want bones to throw in the way of duty, if he spie a mind ready to admit them. If any part must needs lose, let the worlds part be the loser. Subjecti∣on to the husbands, will first begin with God: setting him up, and affording him his due. Nothing will more encourage a re∣ligious husband, to be strict and careful in his way, then when he sees his wives zeale in this kind: nor more dismay and en∣feeble him, then the slacknes and indifferency of the wife, that she is so far from forgetting herself for God, that she will not afford him that regard which lies within her place to expresse.

But what then (will some say) is the wife then wholy out

off from the officiating of worship,* 1.860 in her family? I answer, she hath a great worke of it, to seeke God constantly by her selfe apart, at times meet: and, if her family consist of her owne sex, she may like Ester with her owne maides, in the absence of her husband pray with, and teach her family, and children, besides the private respect she oweth thē out of the act of worship. But (will some say) is she so straighted, that in no respects she may performe these duties in the presence of the other sex in the family? or of her owne husband, as the case may require? [Answ.] I answer, touching her servants the case is lesse difficult, being her inferiors as well as her husbands, and so she doing the duty of a Governor to them, she is dis∣charged, especially they being unable, ignorant, or unmeet to bee so occupied, and ready to pearke up and trample the Authority of the woman under feet, by such occasions. But, touching the husband,* 1.861 although the case be more difficult, yet I doubt not, but she may also before him, aswell as the other, performe these duties, if these cautions bee observed; For why? serving of God in it self can hinder no subjection, but rather further it, in a lowly and humble spirit, privy to her owne infirmities,* 1.862 onely marke how? First she may attempt it, in case of utter insufficiency of parts in her husband, I meane knowledge and understanding. 2. In case of invincible de∣fects of expression and utterance in the husband. 3. And much more, when there is an utter loosenes and carelesnes in him to look after it, much more a vicious contempt, so that (as far as lieth in him) the worke were like to be quite cashierd out of the family: 4. If her husband do allow her with all cheerfulnesse, or request her to undertake it, for Conscience, or if not, yet bee content to give way to it upon reasonable termes, of connivence: yea, though not so equall termes, but with some lowring, and with breakings out now and then, or upbraydings of her; yet not forbidding and op∣posing, she must rather undergoe some brunts for God and her family, and beare them as meekly as shee can, then under such pretence to abandon the duty. But, if he bee willing, and able, though perhaps unqualified for grace, shee must not en∣croach upon the office and disauthorise her husband: but by

all sweete meanes accepting that which is, and covering defects, to draw him forward to that which is not, in token of an heart truly subject. 5. If she (beside, her ablenesse to performe it) bee also, qualified with singular modesty, and humility, awe and reverence, both of God and his Angells, and her husband, whose presence should alwaies be solemne, and ballance her spirit to sobernesse and subjection.* 1.863

If God denie her that interest and Respect from her hus∣band which she deserveth, so that he slights her parts, despi∣ses her graces, and will by no meanes endure her Service in this kind; the effect is sad, to behold God cast out, and the family deserted, and exposed to ruine: But her remedie is, ra∣ther to mourne in secret, and by other wisedome to seeke the releefe of this burden, then to breake her boundes. On the other side, if these respects be observed she may. For the Lord ties none so strictly, that either one must do it, to wit, the Mr. of the family, or none. No no: the Lord knowes, that oftentimes he of all other parts of the household, least besee∣mes his place; and besides, if the head of the family himselfe, even when he is able, yet for reasons may resigne up his li∣berty to another, a stranger, who probably may honor God and profit the family more, then himselfe, (in which case to stick to his Priviledge were a signe of pride and singularity) much more may he (in the case of usuall worship, when the very substance of worship lies at the stake) authorise the woman to performe it. For, although he dishonor his head∣ship; yet his ponance is just, for his sin. Better it is, that he be shent & shamed for his sin, (especialy himself revenging it,) then that God should be barred of his due; by both his & her withdrawing the duty, & the whole Family wanting the or∣dinances. It was Gods Lawe, that, if the Servant would wil∣lingly abase himself to slaverie, his eare was to be boared: but his Mr.* 1.864 was not to lose his advantage. And the wife is as well the Mother, as the man, the father of the family: She is a parte of the householdes head, as the husband is the wives head. Now if she be free from the dominion of her head, then is shee the whole head of the family, and returnes to her pri∣viledge: so that without, checke or controll shee may (being

fitted) discharge the duty: But if beeing a widow, (never used to it before) she find this new taske to be over tedious to her, then ought she to resigne it to another, as (if shee bee of ability,) to one mainteined for that purpose, if not, yet to such a servant, as both for parts and humblenesse may bee meete to take it upon him, without offence: for else the re∣medy may proove worse then the disease, through his con∣tempt. It beeing to conteyne a thing within bounds, when its out of his Element. As touching the husbands absence (as I have said) she may doubtlesse more safely performe it with the servants, then in his presence. If it should be alled∣ged, There be in the family, such, as whom she may resigne up the duty unto, both for dexterity and humility, I say little to that for the present, so long as her gifts be competent she is the Governesse, they inferiors, & the sad effects in bold ser∣vants of this course, doth not a little disaffect me: yet I will not deny a lawfulnesse altogether for her to resigne it, if shee be advised to it by them that give counsell, as well as by her selfe. But, if such helps faile, what should hinder her from the cheerefull and free undertaking of it? And so much for this.

Now secondly,* 1.865 shee must also be subject to him, in matter of his worldly estate.* 1.866 Shee is not to stand upon stiffe termes, and (as we say) upon her pantofles with her husband,* 1.867 touch∣ing her equality of right to his estate, and goods, with him∣self: For here, the question is not so much of right, as Employ∣ment: Now she must not distract the common stocke from her husbands hand, into her owne, to occupy it at pleasure, to dispence the Charges of the family, as she listes, or pursing of the Commodity, as well as he: which were to seeke a Quar∣termastership with him; and to seeke a double, not the single wealth of the family jointly. No. Shee must know, God is the God of order, both in Church and family: she must holde no Quarter with her husband in this businesse. Two heades in a family confound all: her Providence must bee under his, and be directed by his; running in the same streame with it, tending to one Common wealth, purse, and gaine, not her owne, but his and the families. I say, while the husband is himselfe: for else, hee being disabled either by age, or infir∣mities,

or some sudden distemper by Gods hand, which suffer it not: shee is to set to her shoulders to the uttermost, rather then the state of the family be perverted. I adde also, if he being a man carried by his in ordinate lusts,* 1.868 and feeling him∣selfe to suffer his estate to decay, shall permit her to looke into the affayres of the family, (there beeing no child nor other to be trusted) she may lawfully undertake the Charge, rather then commit the ship to wind and wether. Moreover, I doubt not but the wife, so far as her skill reacheth, beeing endued with a gift and skill in some mystery, which her hus∣band is not, especially the husband beeing ydle and slothfull to improove his owne stocke, or perhaps having embesseled it alreadie: may be occupied in that calling of hers: provided that she be comptable to her husband, whose stocke she oc∣cupies: For,* 1.869 if she occupy a borrowed stocke, she is praise∣worthie for her industrie, but comptable onely to her credi∣tors: in such a case, if she share with him so farre as to keep him from beggery, its enough, for shee aymes at the support of her family. One thing more I adde, if the husband shall allow his wife to undertrade with him, that is, for her owne vailes and content to use some petty stocke for her owne advantage: so there be no prejudice hereby done to her o∣ther Huswifery in family, nor to her husbands stocke, she may lawfully accept the kindnesse, provided that in the de∣fect of her owne skill, she be guided by his counsell, to pre∣vent dammage, and improve her gaines to the right endes, not the maynteyning of sin in her selfe, or hers. But, setting these and the like limitations aside, shee must be wholly in all her course for him, & his endes; Expecting from his wise∣dome and love, such recompence as is meet, for her honest support and mayntenance. I am not ignorant, that many hus∣bands some for sloth, others to avoid their wives discontents, supposing to allay their fiercenesse of spirit by resigning their right, others, under other color of Ministeriall, or burden∣some service, have, and do, put the bridle of providence, into their wyves hand: (and that, when as none of the former cautions do require it:) but whether this swerving from the Ordinance, hath not weakned their Headship, animated the

woman to an excesse ofspirits, causing that nature which of it selfe is too forward, to waxe more insolent; let experience judge. Inferiority is readie to despise authority, if occasioned: sin is out of measure unbridled: easilier held off from the oc∣casion, then restreyned under the occasion. Besides, that the husbands hand is cut off, as it were by the wives Mortmayne (for many wives peark up to meddle with the estate, suspecting that their husbands are more ready to do good then them∣selves) from that bounty, which both his place and will would admit.

[Quest.] But here likewise a question is made, whether it agree with the wyves subjection,* 1.870 to give to good and charitable uses, of her owne accord? that is, without the husbands consent? [Answ.] To which I answere, That the seasons of weldoing are to be distinguished. Such occasions there may be offred, and such necessities may lye upon the Church, and upon the members of it by the rag of unreasonable enemies, oppressors and persecutors, yea such streights may beset the poore ser∣vants of God, as may discharge the wife frō ordinary subjecti∣on in this case: as in the Martyrs daies (I doubt no••) that many womē borrowed leave from heaven to doe good,* 1.871 who if they had staid while they had leave on earth must have wayted, till their eyes in their head had fallē out, for ought their husbands woulde have yeelded to. They dispenced therfore with their unwillingnesse in such case, & dispatcht the duty. I leave the consideration of such necessities, to be judged of by the wise, especially in these our sad times wherin the afflictions of [ 1] Gods Church, are little thought of by the most, who drinke away and forget,* 1.872 eate and sleep, and stretch themselves upon their beds, not thinking of the affliction of Ioseph: so they fare well what is it to them though the Church perish? But to returne, for an ordinary course, she may not put forth her hand to give of her husbands estate of her owne head, ex∣cept, first, she demaund her husbands consent, which I speak because some women might have from their husbands, if they would aske, but either distrust of their owne losse, or scorne to give it, except they may give it with an high hand of their owne, hinders them. A foule shame, for a Christian wife who

should rejoice in Gods way, and at the largenes of good doing, and honoring of God. [Except. 2] Secondly, except shee hath at the first made some reservation to her own stroake, of some such meanes, as might (without his notice) supply such uses, which being done, although he should seek to infringe that grant by after-exceptions, yet shee ought not to yeeld to it in conscience, but with love and modesty, hold her selfe to a∣greement. But the truth is, many women, who have power enough to do good, do it not, yet blaming their husband, whenas the sin lies upon their owne base hearts: as also many who have of their owne to do it, will spare themselves & do it of their husbands, who indeed eate stollen bread, and drink of the waters of a forbiddē Cisterne. Now I mean by Reser∣vation, only this, that they have acknowledged no more estate to their husbands, then they wil yield upon marriage, desiring their jointer to be according. [ 3] 3. Except upon the yeelding up of their whole estate to their husbands hands, they make such a mutuall compact together, that the wife shall enjoy such li∣bertie without jealousie, ascribing to her discretion in that be∣half, without jealousie or grudging. [ 4] 4. Except she have allo∣wance by her husband to take to her own use the overplus of such monys, as are granted for the expences of the family (she faithfully providing for it without parsimony, & not defrau∣ding any of their due,) for that were to feed others upōrapine & stealth, in such case that which she spares is her own: & the like is the case of such vayles as do by a kinde of custome, is∣sue vndoubtedly to the woman, from her husbands trading. [ 5] Fifthly, except any thing be fall her by Gods providence, gift, or speciall bequest of the deceased, wherin her husband doth, and hath cause to all other a portion, as being derived by her Channel unto him. [ 6] Sixthly, if she doe perceive by his behaviour and love, that when she doth any thing in that kinde before his face, he give allowance therto, as a gift mu∣tually issuing from both their consents, though not named precisely, yet implied secretly. [ 7] And in a word, except she know, that such a practice of hers wisely ordered, would no whit prejudge her in her husbāds thoughts, if he knew it, but be taken by him, as an act of Conscience, not to be opposed.

[ 8] But to returne,* 1.873 if none of these cases can be safely alled∣ged, it is unlawfull for the woman to put forth her hand to her husbands estate, under any colour whatsoever. As, that their estate is (God be thanked) great enough to admit it: that they have small charge, and do little by Consent, any way: or, that her husband is extreamly base, or that her dowry was more then ordinary; or, if she were againe to compact with him, she would not doe, as she hath done; or, because her huswifery is great, she deserveth the liberty by her great gaines, or savings: or, her comparing her lot with other wo∣men lesse deserving, then shee: or that shee is hardly handled, or shee is to be pittied and pardoned, if (the need of the poor so requiring) she exceed the rule a little, for the greatnes of the good which might so be done. I say not what God may in mercie do in point of covering the goodnesse of her mea∣ning, if shee do it ignorantly, but what right she hath to do it, before God. Let such women as enjoy their liberty blesse God, and beware lest they stumble at the stumbling block of their iniquity: As for the rest, lest them mourne under their crosse, but not ease themselves of subjection: knowing that their desies are accepted of God, for the deed, in greater ina∣bilities then these, and therfore resting in their integrity, till God grant them greater libertie. The worst is, many women whine and aske Questions, while they live under Covert of their husbands; who yet, when the Lord hath set them free, to try all that is in their hearts, have neither Questions nor Answers to make, but are bounde with chaynes of their owne, from all good doing: shewing that neither credit nor Conscience was their motive. And doubtles, where there is a sound heart to God, few women are so straited by their husbands, but they might by one meane or other winne them to some indifferency. But for that which I spake touching the necessitie of times, and danger of not affording of helpe to the distressed, and the like cases of extraordinary nature, its sufficient that the Church hath beene compeld to greater a∣berrations then this, as appeares by Act. 1. and the act of Abi∣gail to David, contrary to Nabals resolution, may sufficiently evince. And so much for this second branch.

* 1.874Thirdly, this subjection, extendes to the whole conversa∣tion of the wife in Marriage whereof I say this, That shee is to be generally attendant to this duty, and to have it in her eye daily, as if written upon her frontless and fringes of gar∣ments, rising up, walking, and lying downe with her conti∣nually, whether God do blesse, or crosse them, in their goings out, & commings in: she must carry it writtē on her forehead, Subjection to my husband. In particular, take these. First in point of her attire,* 1.875 The common tenent of gallants and proud dames is this, that whatsoever fashion is up, be it never so co∣stly, above her mean, troublesome, be it change, upō change, have it she will: The fashion she holds is above her husbands power, she must not be laught at for her worne sute, because she is not in the new cut. St. Peter could not speak of subjecti∣on, but he must needs speake of this: as, for the sake whereof, womē otherwise subject, yet for their wils sake, wil venture a joint, and forfeit subjection. In a case of meetnes of fashion what husband so little delights in his wife, as not to allow her that which is indifferent? But hereupon, to run before the husband, even to that which is uncomely and excessive, either for fashion, or cost, I must tell women, it sutes not with subjection.* 1.876 Not in gold (sayth he) broydred attire, play∣ting of the hayre; but in meeknesse of the spirit: as if subjecti∣on were much a seene, and most forfeited in this case. I will not run into the determining of fashions, sutable to each degree: Let the soberest in every state, determine it, and I had rather it should be the husband should determine, then she: Love wilbe bountifull enough; & selfe love may not be trusted. But oh! the excesse of this sexe, both in married wo∣men, and Virgins (yea the wyves of those who should be Patternes to the world) is so woefull in these dayes, and so hideous, that it doth not onely helpe to make a world of Banque-rupts, but to fil the world with curiosity and Vanity! wherfore, let this be taken for a rule, Never was there curi∣ous, proude, and fashionable woman, who could stoop to be subject; by their ruffling, flinging, flaring, curling, dresses, tirs, and forelocks, you shall know them. Custome (as the world thinkes) takes away offence: But by that rule, nothing should

be evill in it selfe, but in opinion. But a subject wife puts little oddes betweene such opinion, and realnes: For shee is knowne by her Modesty, as abhorring to receive lustre from rags, but affording honor to her attire, by her sober sub∣jection, bee her attire costly or meane.

[ 2] Secondly, her very eye, gesture and speech, ought also to be awfull and mixt with modesty,* 1.877 and blushing, arguing her submission & privity to her weaknesse. There must be a law, that is an authority of Grace upon her lips, ordering her si∣lence and speech, with a sweet mediocrity, but even as a threed going through a cloth, so a gift passing through the whole man. That which is within, cannot lye hid: for, grace will make the face to shine; Her very blush, is Ivy-bush suf∣ficient, shewing what is within. And on the other side loftie carriage, proud, and disdainfull garbe unsavory tongue, mul∣titude of words, boldnesse of forehead, stoutnesse of stomack, lowde cry (as Salomon termes it) bewray to all men, what a plague her husband nourishes in his bosome. All the honor of such an husband, if it bee not turned to contempt, while he is present; yet is turned to pity, when he is absent. Such a de∣meanure, more befitting some mannish Amazon, or insulting Curtezan, then a woman of true subjection to her hus∣band.

[ 3] Thirdly, another peece of her modestie lieth in her usuall carriage at home,* 1.878 towards her husbands direct person. Fa∣miliarity and dayly converse will breed no contempt in a subject wife: shee is not so, by compulsion, but by freedome, therfore she utters it, equally and constantly. She feares not that imputation justly cast upon women, who abroad will seeme very respective, good wife, lets have more of it at home! Sara, called her husband Lord, meaning usually, it was not her holiday livery, but her workday phrase. Not he cal∣led her his Lady, (and yet it were well if such flattery could prevaile with some Donna's:) but she him Lord: This Reve∣rence and subjection causeth the wife to behold her duty, in the countenance, projects, vertue and way of the husband (as I noted before of consent.) His service to God, govern∣ment to children, following of busines, is the glasse, which

represents her: for either she sees all good, if she have skill to discerne, or beleeves it in love, if shee have none. But as for a controlling spirit before her head, she hates it as impious, degenerate. To takeupon her, to bee the houshold Ora∣cle, and Idoll,* 1.879 to overtop all, to be under none, is too hot and heavy for her handling, shee loaths it as hell, to use Pauls word,* 1.880 for her heart, will, tongue, selfe and all are not so much bounde, as binde themselves to the peace: onely the yoke is easy, and the burden light.

[ 4] Fourthly, suteable must her subjection bee before others, to that which is at home:* 1.881 as comming from one, not ashamed of that, which is her true honor. Many women are in their extreames: Some, although in private, they will not offend, yet, comming into company, thinke it a kinde of slavery, to professe the like honor, and esteeme of their husbands. And indeed, to flatter the husband, were but a base office for the wife, wheresoever, at home, or abroad, arguing, that an hus∣band loves it. Such cup, such cover; But, wisedome keepes a meane, and abhorres as much to sooth and gloze, as to de∣spise and neglect; That due reverence and subjection, which a good wife shewes abroad, she shewes at home, and contraily: Shee is loth to have her hand out. Others are in another veyne, and, although at home, they make no bones, to taunt, and take up their husbands, yet abroad, are quite o∣ther women, so sollemne and subject, as if the Annointed of the Lord were before her, as if shee were the subjectest, and he the happiest living. But as he sayde to the Crab-fish, when she was stretcht out in length beeing dead, but before crooked, so thou shouldst have lyved: so to these, This should bee alwayes, and then safe. But this extream as the other, a subject woman avoydes without payne; for their inward principle levells all, saying, Whatsoever is accor∣ding to God must be equall.

[ 5] Fifthly her subjection also appeares in company. A gad∣der, a gossip,* 1.882 one, whose heeles are over her neighbours thre∣sholde, and, beeing there, is in her Element, licentions, and talkative, is no subject wife. Salomon calles her Turbulent, that is selfewilled and unsubject. And well he might: for

surely no husband can affect a woman of such a trade, it is his bane, except himselfe in his kind bee a Rover and wan∣dring Planet, ou•• of his orbe, and then better one house troubled with them, then two. But whether he be so or not, whether he like it, or dislike it, he must beare it: Shee will have her vagaries, her tongue is her owne, and she upon her owne bottome, and therefore not redeemd with a price, stands and falls to her selfe, and what Lord shall controll her? And sure as she cost little, so she is worth as little, and may goe for naught. Alas she is sick of home! There shee sits, louring and powting, hath no list to say much: But lest you should thinke she hath lost her tongue, she doth but keep it, till place and time please her, and there she will bee as much on the other side! She is like that sidler, which was long a getting to pull out his fiddle, but when it was once out, there could be no putting it up, any more. Surely, as some women are faine to fetch their husbands from their Ale-bench to shame them; so had some husbands need fetch their wives from their Gossips, and yet, its a question whe∣ther they were better to have left them where they were, lest they make a Tragedy at home, of a Comedy abroad; A modest wife is of another spirit; Home hath her heart: She hath worke enough within doores, and dwells most within her selfe. She like the snaile, carrieth her house alway upon her backe. She builds it with her hands, and beares it up by her shoulders; never going abroad, but then when it were an offence to keepe at home. And, being abroad, the Law of grace is upon her lips; her words, are as the leaves of the tree of life, healing: and as the fruit thereof, life it selfe, and restorative. Out of the aboundance of the heart, the tongue speaketh: not so much, as well: not so long, as sweetly, seasonably; and when she holds her peace, its with her, as with a beautifull face, wherein you know not whether the white or red be fairer, for both are beauty: So you cannot tell, whether speech or silence doe most com∣mend her; but both do, for she knowes both when to speake, and when to hold her peace.

Lastly,* 1.883 Subjection in a wife reacheth to benevolence:

for when the Lord set her appetite toward her husband, he planted subjection in her spirit; as also to nursery of her in∣fants, except God denie her ability and strength. No sooner doth the infant which she hath warmed in her wombe, and given life to, in her wombe, behold the light, but it whim∣pers, and cries for the brest, as if it said, I am thine, nurse me; Looke upon thy brests, whether dry, or milch; if there bee milke its mine, and given thee (my deere mother) to bee a nurse, my nurse: The subject wife stops not her eare to this call: Shee seekes not brests in her husbands purse, but in her owne bosome; and, according to her power, takes her babe,* 1.884 embraces and nurseth it. Ruth gave her sonne Obed the brests, though Naomi dry-nursed it. When Pha∣raohs daughter had found poor Moses crying, whom sent she for to nurse it, rather whom sent God to it? oh the mother! to note Gods verdict. No water, like the owne: no nurse to the mother. As David of Goliahs sword, so here, its best of all. None so tender, so chary, so carefull. Physitians for a fee, will be suborned to be at the request of an unaturall mo∣ther, and to pronounce against the full brests, and the milke thereof: to advise the husband, if you love your wife, your child, let her not nurse: Another Physitian advises the contrary, if you love your health, nurse your child: surely, if the skale hang so even, if you please, let God cast it, there being no apparant let. A subject wife, will bewray it this way, as soone as any: and the Apostle joynes it with subjection, in the place so oft recited. She will doe it, if not for her husbands sake who lies in her bosome, yet for that infants sake which lay in her wombe? Though she have not such wages as Moses his mother had for her paines, yet shee hath assurance of such pay from a better Master, who promises her she shall bee saved, that she will doe it for his sake, though for neither husbands, nor childes: That fee and wages, next to faith and love, will cause her to looke upon her babe even in the worst pickle and hand that be∣longs to it, with so sweet and smiling a countenance, that she would not for the paine of many nursings, forfeit it. Oh thou coy woman, what art thou? richer then Sarah, weaker then

Rabel, better then Rcbecca, holier then Hanna? then all those matrons of old, who were honorable in this point of sub∣jection? whose daughter wouldst thou chuse to be? theirs who nurse not, or these? And by these six branches menti∣oned, judge oh yee women of the rest: No one duty of ma∣ny (I know) is lesse practised: Consider what hath beene said and God give you understanding: love made Jacob count all wethers welcome for Rahcl: Let her thinke all ser∣vice sweet for him. Thus much for answer to the question, wherein subjection consists. Now to the uses breefly to finish withall.

[Vse. 1] And first let it bee for Admonition (if yet my words may reach unto,* 1.885 and pierce any such;) to all sad creatures, un∣subject soules in this kind, to shun all Rebellion against their husbands. If thou wilt hearken to thy corrupt will, it will tell thee another tale, and quash all my former counsell. Oh, it will say, thou mayst winne the goale, and get the upper hand of thine husband for ever, if thou be damish and impe∣rious: It will make him to seeke thee, not thou him. But subjection will say, that I get this way in the Hundreth, I shall lose in the Shire: If I lose the better end of the staffe with God, what get I by getting it of a poore husband? Its possible I may cone short too, even of that; but sure I am, never was an unsubject woman powerfull, or prevailing with God. Therefore her voice is, a body thou hast given me, its written in thy booke, I shall doe thy will, oh God! Loe here I am, speake, for thy servant heareth, and cavills not, and my soule answereth, thy face will I seeke, I will be subject.* 1.886 A Zippora will throw the foreskin at her husband, the meekest man upon earth. Micol will say to the holiest man living, even in the act of his zeale, what a foole was my husband this day? But a subject one will say, I opened not my mouth because thou bidst so: or if I have, once have I spoken, but I will say no more, but will lay mine hand upon my mouth, If I have erred, teach me, pardon me! By crooked∣nesse of spirit, of tongue, I shall lose honor, gaine reproach, yea hell too: but, by subjection, as I shall honor mine head, so shall he mee! yea my yeelding is the way to honor mee

more, then all my recoylings, and to winne that Authority in his heart, which no usurping can ever obteine? As is the shadow, such is the husbands heart, & love: fall downe upon it, and thou maist overtake it, if thou pursue it, it flees further off; So, if thou contest & with strong hand resist thy head, he will be as a Lyon, his courage wil not stoop: But if thou shalt speak kindly to him & win him by subjection, thou hast con∣quered him for ever. God hath appointed him to be over thee: in seeking to be above him, thou provokest him to Tyranny, and to challenge his right, but canst not subdue him by re∣bellion. Remember, thy sexe is crazy, ever since Eve sinned, sin is out of measure sinfull, through the Law, and Satans in∣censing, loathes subjection, affects impotency; But oh, thou woman that fearest God, let that liberty with thine husband, which thy subjection hath purchased, satisfie thine heart, seeke no more, lest in catching at the shadow, thou lose the Substance. Let thy Birth, thy Education, estate, endow∣ments, exceed his never so much; yet the Ordinance of God hath subjected thee to thine husband with all thy perfecti∣ons. There is but one Law for all wives, both poore and rich, meane and great, wise and foolish, one and other, that is to be subject. No Pop••, no Prince, much lesse the law of thine own lust cā exempt thee: there were wives in Pauls time, who because they beleeved,* 1.887 could have shaken off their husbands, that were Infidells. But Paul meets them a going, and turns them back with force upon their allegiance and subjection: saying, Except the separation begin from the unbeleeving party, do not thou who beleevest, desert the other: As he saide, Set meate before them, and breake their hearts, but smite them not: so here, winne them by all holy meanes, but oppose not. If subjection be due to heathens, much more to Christians.

[Vse. 2] Lastly this is Exhortation to all wives who will stand to Gods barre, Be ye subject to your husbands. Let the spouse of Christ teach you,* 1.888 she is subject to her head: both in heart, she gives it to him; in eye, she delights in his wayes, she is so to him in all matters, both of God, and the world, shee is so in her gesture, speech, abroad, at home, in all. Bee thou so,

and prosper. Without this, none of thy inward abilities, out∣warde gifts, nay the Graces of God, wilbe a Crowne to thy husband: except it bee a Crowne of thornes. No, if thou wert never so huswifelike, fruitfull in children, rich in gold or jewells, except thou adde Subjection, all will not amount to the making of a crowne, except this make it, nothing else will. All thy lewels may bestollen out of thy boxe, thy mony out of thy purse, clothes out of thy wardrobe, thy backe may be stript of thy costly attyre, thy beauty blasted with age, thy body weakned with sicknes, sorrow: thy name ful∣lyed with infamy, thy partes may decay: But thy subjection no man shall rob thee of, nor thine husband of that Crowne: If thou preserve that in thy Cabinet as thy pearle, it shall supply and restore all those losses, in the esteem of thy hus∣band. This wilbe the Trench of thy castle, all darts will fall shorte of it, as impregnable. Subjection is the true Mother of love, Sister of consent, root of all other Matrimoniall service, helpfulnes in the next chapter, gracefulnesse in the next to that shall attend it, as precious handmaydes. And shee her selfe in the middle shall walke honorably, and honor mar∣riage above all other vertues. Be it never so meanly thought, spoken of by the Damish and Imperious women of the world, yet shee will say, If this bee to bee vile, I wilbe more vile: yea those that would disdaine mee yet shalbe compel∣led to honor mee, and say, Many daughters have done well, but subjection hath surmounted them all. And so much touching the first personall vertue of the woman, to wit, sub∣jection, be spoken.

CHAP. XIIII.

Which proceedeth on to the second peculiar duty of the wife, that is Helpfulnesse.

I Now proceed to the second speciall duty of the wife,* 1.889 which is helpfulnesse. The former gift telles her, that shee must not bee Rebellious: This second tells her, what shee should bee, helpfull, usefull. Its not enough for her to be Negatively good, not harsh, not rude: But shee must be po∣sitively good, shee must also be helpfull. This comprizes all her true usefull service to her husband: and in speciall an∣swers his Providence. Shee must within doors, lay all her helpfulnesse to his providence without doores: that by both, the whole frame without and within may be supported. She was made subject by sin: But helpfull by creation, which yeeldes a choice prerogative to this vertue, being of integri∣ty, not from corruption. Of all the other Creatures, saith Mo∣ses, the Lord founde not any one,* 1.890 which might bee a meete match for Adam; wherfore he saide, It is not meete the man should bee alone, I will make him a meet helper: and so, he formed her of a rib out of his side, while he slept. In the for∣mer Chapter then we treated of a peaceable, in this we must speake of a Profitable, and in the next of an Amiable companion.

[Quest.] But here in the very entry, a Question is to be answered: In how many things standes this helpfulnesse?* 1.891 [Answ.] I answere, in three main thinges. First & cheefly in helpe to his Soule: Se∣condly, to his outward estate: thirdly to the married condi∣tion: as for instance, to the honor of his Name, the health of his body, the welfare of his Children, the government of his family, the recovery out of any disaster, the averting of dan∣gers, the advise about things weighty and difficult. I begin [ 1] with the first of these.* 1.892 Touching which, although I have no∣ted

before, that shee is to be subject to her husband in mat∣ters of God;* 1.893 yet this muzzles not the mouth of a good wife in helpfull concurrence, but onely in bold usurpation. Shee may (without empeach to that,) cast in her mites into Gods treasury, and bee an helpfull furtherer of his soule to all spi∣rituall welfare and content in knowing, beleeving, and o∣beying, so it be done with humility and meeknes. Although shee is to aske her husband at home in respect of any usur∣pation, yet (as the case may require) she may, nay, she must, in due season, being demanded, reflect back the fruite of that mercy which the Lord hath shewed, and the cost he hath vouchsafed her for the good of her husband. And, as the Lord hath gifted and graced many women above some men, especially with holy affections: so, I know not, why he should do it else, (for he was wise, and is not superfluous in need∣lesse things) save that, as a Pearle shining through a Christall glasse, so her excellency shining through her weaknesse of sexe, might shew the Glory of the workman. And how? In beeing only lookt upon or wondred at, as a bird of fine co∣lors? No: but, in reall Communicating of that Grace which she hath, to her husband especially, as also to others in pri∣vate communion of Saints as occasion is offred.

One thingh here comes to my minde;* 1.894 I would not be ta∣ken to patronage the pride and licentious impudency of women, who having shaken off the bridle of all subjection to their husbands, take upon them to expound the Scriptures, in private assemblyes, and to bee the mouth of God to both Sexes. Not blushing one whit to undertake by the 4. or 5. houres together, yea whole dayes (if their vainglorious hu∣mor masked under the colours of humility may be suffred) to interpret the word: applying it according to their way by Reproofe, comfort, Admonition, and the like, as if Shee-prea∣chers were come abroad into the world. And yet these are such as dare oppose and confute the doctrine of faith, and selfdeniall, taught by the most able Ministers of Christ: and tell their disciples that there is another way to be walled in, and that is the way of the spirit which must give such a light to the soule, and such an assurance of salvation, as may rid

us at once of all doubtings, feares and unbeleefe, and trans∣late us into a confident and secure perswasion of the love of Christ, without making question. As for any waies, meanes, trialls, motives, signes whereby the soule may come to bee setled about the work of Regeneration, these they abhorre, as savouring of the flesh, and not of the spirit of light and inward evidence. In this kind they undertake most boldly to expound the Scriptures, and to resist all who are of ano∣ther mind: Nor allow I others, who defending themselves by the practice of the primitive Church, when the extraor∣dinary gifts of Prophecy flourished, whereby the mooving of the spirit, men to men, and women to women, did exprefle and utter their thoughts and judgements concerning divine truths, which gift then was very necessary for the breeding up of Ministers, Doctors, and Proctors, they wanting other helpes of furniture and supply: but appertains not unto us, who both have ordinary waies of supply, and want that spe∣ciall presence of the spirit which that first Church had, to guide and governe the use of such gifts, orderly and peacea∣bly to such endes as they belonged, without schisme and confusion.

God indeed promised by Joel to the Church of the Gos∣pell,* 1.895 that he would poure out his pirit without difference to all ages, sexes, states of people: But not in such a disorder, that a woman should dare in publique, or in a private place after a publique manner to declare truthes of Religion: usurping over men, and encroaching upon the laws of Christ. Such immodesties and insolencies of women, not able to containe themselves within boundes of silence and subjection, I am so farre from warranting, that I here openly defie them as ungrounded, and ungodly: and I cannot but wonder, that any should bee itching after novelties, as being present in such assemblies, especially themselves being publique per∣sons, and such as ought to discerne better betweene things that differ.* 1.896 To both I say, beware lest your pride of gifts, carrying you beyond the bounds of your private condition, and your curiosity in favouring and being led away with such vizored ostentation of graces, doe not wrap you with∣in

in the sinne of Nadab and Abihu, and Vzza, and Vzzia who under pretext of holinesse, adventured to profane hallowed things: nay, of Cora and his complices, who murmured against Moses and Aaron opposing their calling and office. If when you bee convinced by the word, you will yet rebell, take heed lest you perish in his contradiction as Saint Jude speaks, teaching others by their fearfull example because they would take none themselves, If such as these had beene from God the divell would not have let them alone so long quiet in their attempts: But hee knowes distraction in opinions, makes him reigne in the world. And to these more impu∣dent persons, I adde all such undertaking women, who either in families, companies, or in the private converse with their husband usurpe authority, despising the graces of God in their husbands and others, and taking upon them all the speech at the table, to discourse of religion, to debate matters in question in the Church, to decide things of difficulty, to spend all the time in hearing themselves talke of good things: These although they thinke they have learned many things, yet have not learned one great thing, to wit, wisely to judge what their sex and state will admit. And therefore though haply what they speake is good, yet its not comely for them, its as a garment of good cloth but made into a garment very unfit for the body, for lack of taking measure beforehand. These are not helpers, but hurters by their unseasonablenesse.

But I digresse not too farre. No reason there is, why the impudence of the Rebellious should prejudicate the gifts of an humble wife, soberly improoved. Neither doth the holy Ghost envie her the honour of her grace and helpful∣nesse. But as Bathsheba saith, Prov. 31. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and, let her workes praise her, in the gates. Subjection and helpfulnesse enterfeer not one whit, both may agree well. Subjection caused the wife of Manoa, when the Angell appeared to her with a sollemne message,* 1.897 to distrust her selfe, and to call her husband; when God pre∣ferres her, she modestly craves leave, and preferres her husband, and his judgement before her owne: deriving her owne honour upon him. Howbeit afterward wee

see, that (the case so requiring) when as upon the Angels departure from them, Manoa was left in a carnall feare, lest he should die, having seene God: his wife steps in with her helpfulnesse, betweene him and his feares, saying, if the Lord would have slaine us, doubtlesse he would not have revealed himselfe unto us in this sort:* 1.898 to tell us we shall have a sonne, and yet to kill us. She saw further in this case, then hee, and therefore gives him advice what to settle himselfe upon. What could more aptly have beene spoken? how is that of Salomon verified, A word in season, is like Apples of gold, and Pictures of silver? And, how is Abigail honored, for her wise counsell,* 1.899 to a man, who for that her wisdome, was so farre from disreputing of her, that he sent for her to bee his wife shortly after. So that, when David was in the way of heate and resolution to shed Nabals and his families blood, she encounters him, saying, let not my Lord doe such a thing as this! It shall not grieve him, when he shall sit upon his throne, that he hath not shed innocent blood: Oh! how comly a thing it is for Christian wives to come in thus with humble subjection, somtimes with a soft word to allay wrath, to stay the husband from prejudice against good persons and causes, to enterpret all in the better part; to observe him when the word kindles any affections in his soule, and presently to follow them home, not to suffer them to slip out and vanish: to provoke him to mercy and compassion, to draw him from a naturall course to a morrall, from a morrall to a spirituall, to perswade him to equalnesse and indiffe∣rence towards such as are at controversie, to debate and de∣cide things peaceably, to stay his hand from immoderate cor∣rection of children or servants, when she sees passion pre∣vaile against judgement: yea, and sometimes with the same meecknesse, and mildnesse to convince him of an evill quality or pang, as choler, discontent, worldlinesse, censuring of others, rashnesse and the like, admonishing also to beware of the occasions which might lead thereto: wherewith shee herselfe should receive the like from him. Somtimes to win his adverse heart to a more entire love to Gods Sabbaths, to his word preached, to his faithfull Ministers, and servants:

to affect them, to associate them, and to renounce all his old company and fellowship in evill. To be alway darting some savour of that which they have heard in publique, and prompting him with it, that the world eat not up all. Oh! these things come sweetly, as the latter raine, from a woman, who counts it her happinesse, to see her husband to bee brought home to Christ, who mournes for his rebellion, and rejoices to see his heart broken: As Mordecai told Ester, so should a good wife tell herselfe, who knowes, whether thou art come to thy place for such a season, even to bring home one sheep to Christs fould? Doubtlesse if Satan were not a professed foe to such helpfulnesse, the worke would proceed with more ease and successe. So much for the first branch.

The next head of the wives helpfulnesse is in matters of the world.* 1.900 Salomon as truly said of this as of any other vertue of the wife;* 1.901 that, a wise woman buildeth her house. For, though it be little (in comparison) which a poore woman can add to the estate of her husband, yet she must bee all in all for the preserving therof. So that an improvident wo∣man is next a waster in this only respect, and loseth much: But if she be also a spendthrift, and really wastfull, there is no end of her spoile, till she have brought all to nothing, and overthrowne both her husbands state and posterity. She is the Moth yea Canker of the marrow and beauty of his estate, and by insensible morsels, devours at length, the whole substance. And because there bee many queazy women, (yet such as would be religious) that thinke it a peece of religion, to be no housewives, let Bathsheba, a Queene, who might more stand upon her estate, then the proudest Dame may upon her dowrie; in her instruction to Salomon speake. Shee descri∣bing a godly and helpfull wife, (and not onely a thrifty one) as it appeares from the 25. verse to the end of the Chap. doth couple her vertue and house wifery together:* 1.902 She openeth her mouth with wisedome, and the law of grace is upon her lips: (there is her grace) and she overseeth the waies of her houshold, and eateth not the bread of idlenesse: (there is providence:) And, lest any should thinke this

latter might be spared, its to be noted that she spendeth the whole Chapter in the description therof, by divers passages: wheras, the former she shuts up in the end of that Chapter in a verse or two, although the more necessary: as taking it to be more out of question, then the other; nay note how the holy Ghost wil needs convey that instruction by the counsel of a woman, to all of her sex, to make the thing lesse subject to exception: pressing it strongly in an Idea of such an ex∣act helper: and that with pleasing Rethorique and variety: Why? save because she saw it a vertue meet to be urged, as being that which many women will not acknowledge. Neither can the greatnesse and wealth of wives controll this duty of Providence, and that not for shew neither, or com∣plement, and praise, to let the world see what skill in spin∣ing, in needle worke, or in other matters, they have, but for conscience sake. In Bathsheba's daies, gold and silver were common, and as plentifull as the stones and figtrees: and therefore need there was not for Queenes or their maids to work so hard; And yet, for the religion of the duty, she speaks so, as one who had experience of it in her owne prince∣ly person, and had the oversight also of her maydens in the handling of the wheele and spindle, for flax and wool. And surely in great families both sexes had need to be yoked, and awed from the sins which come from sloth and idlenesse, al∣though I adde, in a mediocrity, lest they trench upon the contrary of covetousnesse.

My meaning yet by all this,* 1.903 is not to allow any woman the liberty of any such peculiar housewifery by her selfe, a∣part from the common streame and welfare of the husband and family, but in common with, for, and under him, though in a way of her owne, best fitting her sex and education. For, I know there be housewives, who excell in providing for themselves, and (like the Steward in the Gospell who to prevent beggery, when he should be turnd out of service) can shift for themselves, who yet are but ill providers for the good of their husbands whom (to use that Emperors comparison) I may liken, to the Spleene in the Body, which when its fullest, makes the body emptiest, and so commonly,

when the cofers of these Housewives are fattest, their hus∣bands treasure is leanest and lankest: wheras shee should rather be a pipe to conveigh into his cesterne, then a sponge to sucke from, or a Channel to dreyne from his fountayne. This yet is a common vice: not only of second wyves prow∣ling for their owne broodes, or kindred: But of all sorts of women; and, is caused by pride of Birth, of dowry, educa∣tion, or person: which to godlesse ones, are occasions to withdraw them from the yoke of supposed bondage, though if a Queen may judge of helpfull & houswifely providence. In some others its rather caused, by oldor late habits of luxuriousnes, riotous and lewde companionship: for now wee have meetings of Women-drinkers, Tobacconists and swaggerers,* 1.904 as well as men: lest Pauls Prophecie of the latter time should be falsified, and (which is worst of all) secret and stollen liberties. These vices, are like the daughters of the horseleach, crying, give, give, but like hell & the grave, never satisfied. In steed of the which licentious usurping over the husbands commodities, let women know, that al∣though they have a true property and interest in their hus∣bands Estates, yet when the use of the same comes into question, the Lord will have it, as wel as other things, ordered by the husband. Neither may the bad qualities of the man, as his churlishnes, Covetousnes, and Enmity to vertue, authorize the woman, to be her owne carver; lest if this wicket be set open to good wyves, the bad ones throng in with them also; and usurpe it to evill endes. Gods law is one, and con∣cerneth all sorts indifferently.* 1.905 If women desire a stroake this way, (as indeed some may more causedly plead in then o∣thers in shew) let them labor by their good deserts, to pre∣vaile with their husbands, and by their helpfulnesse and love to draw so good an opinion of themselves that they may with a willing mynd, yeeld this favor to their wives, as to use their pleasure in a sober manner. (Provided that they spende it upon honest and religious objects.) But, if God have layde another burden upon them (as I noted in the former chap.) of ill natured and straithanded husbands: let them take up and beare it, as the Crosse which God hath set apart for

them, without discontent or grudging. Especially second wyves, having the charge of former brood depending upon them, (further then by cheerfull consent of their husbands, they are allowed) let them beware, lest herein they disho∣nor their Profession, by yeelding to the strong and tempting occasions, of needy, unruly, and burdensome children, sup∣plying their want, by injurious pillage of the husband, and his posteritie. This by the way.

To conclude the point,* 1.906 these three specialls concerne the womans providence; first getting, then storing, and lastly dispensing those things which are committed to her charge. The first of these three, is proper onely to those women, who sell their husbands commodities, or are allowed to be chap∣men of their wares, (which is the case of few) or such as by reason of some speciall skill in any crafts or manufactures, have some stocke allotted them by their husbands, to trade and traffique withall. In which way, [ 1] they must use all good faythfulnes,* 1.907 neither selling to their husbands losse, nor for their owne secret gaine, nor the hurt of the buiers, all which rules, are in all tradings, usually transgressed. Besides the hus∣wifery of many tradesmens wives, who learne their hus∣bands skill, serve to the making of sundry wares, which serve to the upholding of the family, and estate. In which case (as the other burden of family will admit) they are to shew their best endeavor, both for the getting in of some part of the mayntenance, and saving it from being spent about such houshold expences, as, by paines and thrift at home might be spared.* 1.908 And this is that which Bathsheba most insisteth upon; She laboureth cheerfully with her hands: she is like the Ships of Merchants: She bringes home her food from a farre: Shee ariseth while it is yet darkish, her candle goeth not out, she puts her hand to the wheele, and her handes to the spindle. She makes sheets and selleth them: and giveth girdles to the merchant. Shee considereth a field, and getteth it; and with her hands she planteth a vineyard. This is the image of the stirring housewife. It were wel now a daies if women would abate of their superfluous ease and needlesse expences (which they do the more easily lavish

out, because they wholly relie upon their husbands purse) and in stead of great merchandize and selling of wares a∣broad, apply themselves at home in private, about the supply∣ing of the family wants, helping to cloath and lodge them by their diligence: for better and more enduring is that ware which is made, then that which is bought: taking occasion there by to busie their Children in meet employments, and to prevent sloth, ease, gadding, stollē liberties & vanities which the unbridled myndes of Maids, both of children, & servants, are in these daies pestred with, loathing labor & painfulnes, and exposing themselves to the vices issuing from thence.

The second act of Providence in the wife, is, the Besto∣wing [ 2] & safe storing up, preserving & improving those com∣modities which her husbād hath brought to her hand.* 1.909 Which, as it is fit they should be put to her trust, so ought she (special∣ly in her husbands absence) to be carefull of them, that they decay notunder hand, that they be not open & exposed to the stealth or spoil of Servants, or violence of others. And herein, not onely her selfe in person is to be provident, but also to be carefull to oversee the waies of such servants or others, as are under her, as instruments to act that, which other busines, or infirmity hinders her selfe from performing. A wise house∣wife will contrive and dispose as well by sitting still, and using her brayne, as some other by bending the force both of soule & body. Her selfe cannot keep things frō putrefacti∣on, from Rust, from fust and spoile, from motheatings and de∣caies: cannot perhaps do each inferour worke serving to keep all things neat and shining: but she may so oversee the waies of others, that they may prevent such losses, and pro∣cure such conveniences as are meet for the family. So that she may ease her husband from the inspection and care of such things, as concerne not his providence: to which taske, if he be put, either for the things themselves or for the sea∣sonable dispatch therof, shee should much discredit her pro∣vidence and prudence, and burthen her husband: whose worke lyes in a deeper and higher kinde. Not, as if the hus∣band should (as Laban of Jacob) exact each penie of the wife which miscarieth, or be implacable for those losses

which cannot bee avoyded, (since his owne wisedome cannot prevent many.) But, that shee by her care must serve providence that no such complaints bee heard of as might provoke him justly: As for losses which befall by the hand of God,* 1.910 both equally must patiently beare them: This is pithily alluded unto, in that simile, where Christ likēs a good scribe or Disciple taught to the kingdome of God unto the good hous∣wife, which storeth up both old and new, that is family pro∣vision of all sorts, which she brings out in their season, for meet use. Otherwise, what comfort should the man have, in his bringing in supplies for family, household stuffe, bedding, linnen, Apparell, daily diet for the bodie, if he might not trust to her fidelity at home to preserve them, to menage, to dresse and proportion them to the use of the family? And surely, if she do her part wisely herein, neither on the one side being so loose in her storings that every one may com by her commodities as freely and boldly as her selfe, to spend & spoile, to drinke & imbezel at pleasure; nor on the other side abusing her authority, and the power of the Keyes, so that she straiten the family of their due, and strangers of their ho∣spitall welcome, for her owne pinching and base endes: but go in a wise middle betweene both: I say, so doing, it may be saide, There goes no lesse care and praise in upholding an house built, then in building it from the ground: and she de∣serves, in her kind, equall commendation with her husband.

[ 3] The third therfore is her Dispensing, and bringing forth the provision thus stored up,* 1.911 for the good of the family in due season, due manner, and due measure. For why? She is the mans steward and Pensioner, and Almoner in this kind, to divide the demensum to the family, and the poor of the place, And Bathsheba omits not this neyther in her Idea of the good housewife: saying, she feareth not the Snow, for her family is all clad in scarlet: By snow meaning whatsoever want or af∣front may betyde, and by scarlet, all defence or furniture for the family, and that which is not onelie for necessary, but sometime also for honorable and comfortable allowance. And againe, her husband is knowne in the gates, meaning by the livery which he disdains not to weare, because its the

worke of her hands. And further, she giveth a portion to her household, and the ordinary to her maydes. In these three stand the womans thrift and Providence: which they who want, must learn, and count it worth a double dowry, as knowing that many a naked bare wife is better then some waster, clothed in velvet, with her weight in silver. To this pertaines the due observation of the seasons of the house: that inferior things prejudicate not the better, and more weighty matters of God, that all be done with foresight and forecast, that the members of the family want not that provision and due diet, attendance and nursery, which is meet for them, both in health, and sicknesse: the younger children (under her care) bee taught, trayned, directed, and furnisht, and the elder provided for according to their needes.

And such wives,* 1.912 as have obtained, and do improove this gift well, must beware of pride, and selfeconceit, that they take not occasion hereby to swell, as if they were the props of the house: or else to cover themselves under it, when they bee reprooved for other foule blemishes (for excellent parts in one kind are attended with sad corruptions:) we read of Abner,* 1.913 the Captaine of Sauls army, and protectour of his house, that he was a great champion for Ishbosheth, a man of great courage and valour: But he was another way as Iewde, uncleane of body; Ishbosheth, being too young a novice to deale with such a Politician chides him for it, why hast thou (saith he) gone in to my fathers Concubines? Ab∣ner, privy to his deserts, could not beare it, but flourishes against him, and upbraydes him with his great exployts. Am I a dead dog, that thou so speakest to mee about this woman? Is this the thanke I have for my great service to thy father and his house? Must I be so taken up for halting? Thou shalt know that I have beene thy Patron! God do so to mee, and more, if I give thee not over, and turne to thine Enemy Da∣vid! Lo, how the Devill will so pride a man in any great gift, that he will take scorne to be found fault with, looking that his merits, should pleade pardon for all his defects. So it is with many women (otherwise housewife like, and commen∣dable) that they are waspish, froward, holding their hus∣bands

at staves end, or otherwise taynted! But, will they en∣dure to be told of it? By no meanes. Have I this (say they) for my providence & diligence? Nay (as Ioab despitefully told David in his heavinesse for Absalon, so they cast their hus∣bands in teeth) I see now, if I had beene wastfull and licen∣tious, I should have beene better accepted! yea truly, a waster is not much worse then a shrew: Thrifty or unthrifty thou art little accepted, except subject and peaceable. Rather thy one vertue, should make thee more studious of others, carefull to shunne other vices which should fully and darken them: But they run into another veyne, and aske their husbands, what if you had such a wife, so expensive and costly, as this or that man hath! Alas! what froth of a base heart is here! Who will deny, but a vertuous wife may sometimes come short of an exact houswife? Doth that argue, that such an housewife may plead it, to defend all her grosser Qualities? The Town-Clerke sayd well to the people of Ephesus,* 1.914 Diana is a great Goddesse indeed, who can deny it? But whats that to this confused mutiny, and outcry? So here.

Therfore,* 1.915 O woman! if thou bee so worthie, let thy right hand be ignorant,* 1.916 what thy left hand doth: let others prayse thee, not thy owne lips! Thy bad qualities will sooner blemish thy good, then thy good excuse them. For who see∣ing a Ring of Gold in a swines snout, wisheth it not upon some fayre finger, rather then to be disgraced by the swine! Its true, that a wastfull women is the bane of her husband in one kind, but so may the thrifty in another by her shre∣wishnes; poison may kill, as well one, as kill many waies? And what avayles it a man if he must die, that he ra∣ther is hanged, then beheaded? they are but two waies to bring to one death? And what folly is it to turne off the ac∣cusation of a fault which admits no defence, by that vertue which is neither blamed, nor aymed at! Ioine other good parts with Providence, and then the lumpe shalbe holy! but one sinner destroyeth much good, one dead fly marres a great deale of sweet Oyntment; as Salomon saith of two du∣ties, so apprehend the one, as thou withdraw not thine hand from the other:* 1.917 So I say to thee, so, lay hold on providence,

that yet thou renounce not thy subjection! She that feares God shall come out of both extreames: There is no neces∣sity that one be fallen upon by shunning the other! Vngod∣ly Improvidence is bad, and brutish drudgery is worse: The Droyle overloding herselfe with moiling and care, disables herselfe from goodnesse, and the improvident by her sloth, deprives her selfe of all opportunity, either of doing good, or taking it. The middle way is the golden way. Thus much of the second branch of the wives providence, in matters of the world

The third and last followes,* 1.918 and that is, in the service of the married life,* 1.919 in the manifold passages of which, both to∣wards his person, his state, body, life, health, name and posterity, she must be helpfull. To this end she was made; Of all good couples that is verified, two are better then one; because they have a good reward for their labour. Eccles. 4. 9. And if one fall, the other will lift him up againe: And if one prevaile against him, two shall withstand him: and, a threefold cord is not easily broken.* 1.920 Marke, the Lord hath appointed marriage, as the union of two weake ones apart, to become a strong twist in one cord, to make one strength. This is true of all combinations, two students, two partners, two travellers, two neighbours, two friends, but, above all, most true in the married estate. In the absence of the one, the other is present; when one is downe and sicke, the other (commonly) is up: in the ignorance, doubts, inexperi∣ence, feares of the one, the other is an helper at hand. Two see more then one: by my wives ere, foot, hand, wisedome, I see, walke, worke, contrive and dispatch businesses which else I could not. No such Vicegerent, ••ojadjutor as the wife, whether together, or asunder. Though the head hath the leading part, yet the body hath the attending part, neither without other could effect ought. The acts of marriage are reciprocall: As we see in them that handle the long sawe, there must bee a paire of hands reciprocating the toole, through the timber, or else no sawing it into pieces. An helper without an head, is better then an helper alone. A little to insist upon each particular.

[ 1] First the wife is to be an helper to her husbands person: evē a Bulwarke,* 1.921 a Fort (in distresse) of safegard & defence. She is but a little one, but oh! shall I not escape thither and be safe? (said Lot in that storme.) So is she a covert under God against the storme and rayne: She is so under covert, that yet shee is a covert againe: She is not terrible as Banners, but she is a safe buckler of defence against any impression of danger, of Ene∣my: either foreseeing and preventing, or meeting & repelling it. Despise her not, there is a blessing in her. A woman once delivered a city: another overcame an army, a third slew a Tyrant: yet there was another, a wife, Abigail, who obje∣cting her selfe betweene her husbands syde, and Davids blow, saved the one and the other from bloodshed. Such a prop was that poore Shunamite, who without any din or distemper, lockt up her dead childe, brought home the Pro∣phet, who restored it to life. Shee is not as Dalila, who brin∣ging Samson into a sleep upon her knee, betrayd his life, say∣ing, the Philistins bee upon thee. Shee is a Micoll, who when her husband was escaped from Saul, layde an Image in the bed, to while the Pursuers as if he had beene in bed, but ther∣by preserved his person from slaughter. [ 2] She is a like preserver to his soule (a little to harpe againe upon this string) sugge∣sting whole some counseil to it;* 1.922 Her voyce is quite contrary to that of Iobs wife,* 1.923 Not Curse God and die: But, Continue (deer husband) in thy integrity! Be thy Crosses what thy will bee, still trust, and wayt, deny not the Almighty! we shall see a good end, one day. Shee is not as Iephthah said of his poore daughter, Among them that trouble him, that damne him, and lay a snare to entrap him in sin, or consenting to him in sin,* 1.924 as Sapphira to Ananias: nor yet carelesse which end goe forward, so shee may compasse her wicked content, as Jezabel,* 1.925 in Naboths death, made way, for her owne, and her husbands ruine. If shee can keepe him close to God shee will: but shee will never bid him curse God, renounce obedience and dye.* 1.926 [ 3] Nextly shee is an helper to his bodily health, (next under God) by keeping the pretious castle of his body in good estate, for the health, strength and vigor therof. Its a Proverbe made in favour of a good wife, that if

the husband looke well, they say Ile hath a good wife. Shee is his nurse to dresse and provide him savory meate, such as his heart loveth: she knowes his body, to what ailes he is sub∣ject, his diseases, and distempers are knowne to her cheefly, she must order his diet, shee must disswade him from what is hurtfull,, present what is wholesome, and that not in a see∣ming curiosity, but in a reall, and cordiall carefulnesse. Shee must bee his welcomer to entertaine him, from his wet and cold journies, with warmth, with harbour, with comforts and refreshings: For his heart trusts to her for it, and no colds, wets, heates or ill jorneyes can be wea∣risome to him, having so helpfull a yokefellow at home to receive him. If he be sicke, shee is his best messenger to the Phisitian, best & tenderest keeper under his Phisick, best cook for kitchin Phisick at home, and must be the best instrument for recovery: For why? she tooke him not only for health and prosperity, wherin he can provide for himselfe, but for sick∣nesse and disasters, wherin he relies upon her helpfulnesse.

[ 4] Ag••ine she is as the shield of his pretious Name,* 1.927 and good Report. Suffers no fly of her own to light upon that oynt∣ment, is impotent to endure or put up any base aspersions upon it; honors it, and the merit and repute of it hath a spe∣riall facultie to commence and procure an high esteeme of his vertues in the hearts of all especialy in the hearts of such as are worthie to honor a man, and shuns all occasions which might cause the ••asest to defame him: she hath alwaya covering readie to carry backward upon his nakednesses and blemishes: such I say as are to be covered. And such, as shee is forced to confesse (as Naba••s churlishnes and folly by Abigail;) shee is rather haled thereto by necessity then prone to it with delight: She abhorres them whose fingers alway itch at the disgrace of their husbands: She chuseth to come betweene his folly, and his shame by catching the wound upon her owne flesh, and leaving her own bleeding rather then violate his, for enduring others to derogate ther∣from: she puts no great oddes betweene the one or the o∣ther: knowing that her owne cannot be entire, if his be hurt, much lesse thinking his losse to be her gayne. [ 5] Fifthly

to his family shee is an absolute helper by necessity, and can∣not be spared: not onely in point of housewivery, but also in the dispencing the Affayres of it within.* 1.928 She crosses not her husband in any labor, and education of children, she traynes and instructs the tender fry (fittest for her hand) till meeter for his oversight: joines with him in his reproofes and cor∣rections, (knowing that Satan reignes in the children by the division of parents) holdes not his hand from due stroakes, but bares their skin with delight, to his fatherly stripes; de∣fendes neither hers, nor his children in their sin. And yet, as the case requires, playes the kinde Mediator, alienating the extremity of both wordes and blowes lest they be discoura∣ged, yet by cōsent, for the breaking of their hearts. She counts it her glory, by her lenity and love, with all innocency to keep accord betweene the children of divers broodes, indif∣ferently ensuing both their welfare; if not with equal nature, yet with the same consciēce; not seeking to derive the cur∣rent of her husbands heart to her own, but letting it have free passage to them who are equally his. She is not in words but in truth, not astepmother unto them: as loth to betray the one as the other to their fathers wrath, or to Gods: rejoicing when they are furthest off the dinte of eyther. Not as Eve, who first had inevitably betrayed all her posterity to ruine, together with her selfe, ere her husband knew it, and then himselfe. Not looking at her owne mayntenance, and hol∣ding the reine in her owne hand, without respect what be∣come of them, or after the death of her husband, unnaturally suffring them to perish, while her cruell eies looke on:

[ 6] Moreover she sticks close to him in all difficulties, (nay most then,* 1.929 that like to God, she may be most seene in the mounte) aswell as when his successes are most prosperous; In the affront of any ill newes, losses, discontents, injuries, she keepes off the dint of sorrow from his spirit, wypes away the teares trickling downe his cheeks, turnes off what might incense, ensues what might satisfie and give him content, and putting under her helping shoulders to beare any com∣mon burden, which must be borne. Although her own necke lie upon the blocke, and she suffer under any speciall vexation

lying on her spirit, yet she abhorres to be moaned or eased by outcryes and dolours: rather taking it to her selfe, & biting it in to her owne regret: thē willing that for the sake of one, the whole Family should bee in disquiet, saying with that wise Shunamite, God can reconcile all disproportions, be quiet my soule, bite not upon the bridle, but wayte, and all shalbe [ 7] well. And as a branch heerof, adde this in the last place, that, if God frowne upon their estate,* 1.930 she makes no mutiny nor clamor against heaven or husband, her lot and ill Chance, (for she knowes no such Goddesse as fortune,) But rather by her own example in submitting to providence, to fare hardly, to be attried homely, when better supplie fayles; she drawes her husbands spirit from impatience, and unequalnes, to equanimity and subjection. In submitting of her soule to God, even when his hand is sad, and the rod is sharpe, shee findes sensible ease: wayting meekly til God turne the wheele, & (with Naomi) bring her home to her wonted welfare. And this shall serve for a draught of the third branch of the wo∣mans helpfulnes in the conjugall conversation.

[Vse. 1] Now its time to finish the Chapter with some use. And first of sharpe reproofe.* 1.931 For to this end hath the Lord framed woman as I have sayd; but shee hath found out new inven∣tions; and indeed shee was the first that set her wits on work in this kinde. Alas! how many women have wee, helpfull to others with the hurt of their husbands? others, helpfull to their husbands, with the hurt of others? A third sort helpfull to themselves, whatsoever hurt befall their husbands? And lastly, some neither helpfull to themselves, nor to their hus∣bands, but hurtfull to all: but still the helpfull wife is rare to come by. And, as we see that first helper of man, created most perfect, yet instantly degenerated, and became the greatest hurt to him and his, so her Grand-children still tread in her steps, so that few husbands therebe, but may say with Adam (and much more justly,) The woman thou gavest mee hath undone me. If it had been a stranger, an Enemy, I could have borne it: but lo, she that are with me out of one dish, dranke out of one cup, dipt her morsels in the same vinegar, lay in my bosome, and, was one with mee, she hath beene as

rottennes to my bones, as smoake to mine eyes, and as a con∣tinuall dropping. Oh! if the eye be blind, how great is that darkenes? And, if shee who was made for the choysest hel∣per (for what earthly comfort is like her who is like her self) proove a plague and hurt to a man, how great must that wound proove? As the discord of brethren is therefore like the brasen barres of a Pallace, (because they are in place of neerest lovers) so the hurt of a wife is unspeakebly intolera∣ble, because she breakes that law in pieces, which ordeyned her to the contrary. For, there is a cursed generation of wo∣men, out of measure sinfull, whose cheefe revenge is to whet their teene upon their husbands, and to kill their hearts, not onely with despitefull tongues, but also malitious attempts, professing, they do it to crosse them.

Such as these I deny not to be helpers,* 1.932 for they helpe their husbands to a sad heart, to a weary life, to bitter complaints to such as they dare trust (for if they had no bosomes to emprie it into, their hearts would breake) to an empty purse, to a rotten name, to a ragged coate, they helpe them (ere they have done) ••o the sheete, to the stockes, to the Gal∣lowes, to hell it selfe, without mercy, by their severall hurtfull inventions. Thus was not Abigail to Nabal, (though a beast) if she had scorned him so farre, as to renounce help∣fulnes; she would not have endangered her life for his safety; but left him to shift for himselfe. But such presidents as Dalila, Iezabel, Jobs wife, and the like, helplesse, hurtfull wives, joying rather in their husbands harmes, and thrusting them forward, when they are falling, better sute to many of our wives, then that out worne end of Abigails. Alas! such a patterne serves rather for wonderment, then honor & imi∣tation. Do wee not see how jolly and proud Dames, set up a private wealth to themselves with neglect of the common good of husbands and families? Have we not coy peeces, that affect a singularity of Diet, apparrel, company, losty car∣riage, above, and apart from their husbands? Publique shame (which yet now restrains most abuses) not curbing these! Are those helpers, that jolly it out and ruffle it in the misery, debts, banqueruptnes, and dejection of their husbands, brave

in their ruffes and cloathes when they are all ragged, costly in their fare, when they are faine to bite short, sit at the up∣per end of the Table, when Tom foole must stand with fin∣ger in hole behind the doore? Are these helpers, or harlots, trow you! How else should it be verefied of women, which is foretold of al sorts by Paul, in these latter daies, They should be lovers of themselves, proud, unnaturall, trecherous? What traitor is like a bosome one?

And, well might these proverbiall speeches arise, that A man may thrive, if he have his wifes good wil: Or, A mant hat marries a second wife with Children, need take no thought to purchase house and land. These argue that although the case may be otherwise in many wives, yet generally it is dan∣gerous, especially in second marriages with widowes.

[Vse. 2] Secondly, be it exhortation to all that would bee good wives, that they be helpfull ones. As once that worthy Di∣vine Master Perkins wrote upon his study doore,* 1.933 Thou art a Minister of the word, that doe: so should a good wife up∣on her palmes and fringes, for an helper thou wert made, this looke to, mind the end of thy creation, carry it with thee as thy charge, I was made for an helper. Not for an helper on way, and an hurter, ten: but an only helper. So that as Law is the soule of the state, the soule is wholly and in each finge of the body, so should my helpfulnesse begin at husband, and animate all the family. But especially it should be the life of my husband; his soule I am bound chiefly to helpe, by godly counsell: his spirit I must helpe, by my cheerfull behavior: his body I must cherish with my best benevolence; his name I must tenderly honour, his sorrowes I must wisely mi∣tigate; his joyes, I must sympathize; his dangers, I must prevent, his health and state I must uphold: and when I have thus done, as the Bee gathering hony, as the Sheep bearing a fleece, as the Oxe plowing the ground, as the builder fra∣ming the house, not for their owne uses, but the commodity of others; so must the helpfull wife, all these I have done, not for my selfe, but for my husband. Yea looke what instinct Nature, Art, hath put into these creatures, that hath grace and helpfulnesse put into me. An helper I was made for, this

oh Lord, let me look to! If I do it of a willing vertuous mind, there is praise! If not, yet a necessity is layd upon me, and, wo to me, if I be not an helper? who ever shunned or waived the end of their creation, but vengeance pursued them as traytors to Nature, to heaven! I was not made for my selfe, but for another: each part of the house claiming a part of me. As he said once to a coy Virgin, thy virginity is not all thine to dispose of: in part its thy parents, father hath a stroke in it, mother another, and kindred a third: Fight not against all, but be his, whom they would have thee. So say I to thee being a wife and an helper: Thy womanhood, thy helpfulnesse is not thine, its thy husbands, his body, state, posterity claime it from thee: he laies claime to all, not as that Tyrant did, all thy wives silver and gold is mine: but as one that is invested in all thou hast by peculiar providence. I live not by rule or examples: the unhelpfull shall not teach me to be a hurter: the helpfull shall not so teach me as if I followed for their sake only, but for his, who hath subjected me to helpfulnesse.

[Vse 3] Lastly, its incouragement to all good wives, to looke off from the degenerate practice of this world,* 1.934 which might pull them from this vertue; If she be such an helper to thee, oh husband, as I have said, comfort thy selfe in her, comfort and encourage her thy selfe against all dismayments. And if shee bee so towards a lewed companion who hath not the grace to prise her: let mee here from God encourage her. God requite thee poore soule, for the world cannot, thine husband will not. God make his way the strength of the upright, in the thankfulnesse of both: Thou canst doe no more then thou canst: If a bad husband will yet ruine all, well, yet as long as thou couldest, thou hast held carte on wheeles: The Lord shall be thy helper, the strong helper of an helpefull wife: Others shall helpe thee: Thou shalt not bee forsaken in thy greatest straits. And touching this second duty of the wife, viz. helpfulnesse, so much.

CHAP. XV.

Concludeth with the third and last Severall Duty of the wife, to wit, her Gracefulnesse.

I Conclude now the discourse about the severall duties of the woman to the man:* 1.935 whereof this is the last, to wit her gracefulnesse. The former alone without this, will make a good drudge, but this added therto will make a good wife. They say, he who hath gotten both profit and pleasure together (for they are not alway joined) hath hit the naile on the head. But in a wife, I am sure it is so: if she be usefull by her huswifery,* 1.936 and cheerfull by her gracefull amiablenesse, she is right and straight indeed, and well ac∣complished. Some, yet none of the worst housewives are none of the most gracefull creatures: their droile alway hangs about them, as an ague in the bones: and others ami∣able and cheerfull enough, are yet none of the most huswife∣ly and helpfull: as the apples of Sodom if they be but toucht with a finger to be usefull, they moulder to ashes. The for∣mer are good droiles to dispatch businesse, the other pretty Idols to looke on. But the compound of these two hath no fellow, to reconcile into one an helpfull gracefulnesse, and a gracefull helpfulnesse. Of all other duties, I need least in∣sist, in prooving that this woman makes her marriage honou∣rable: and therefore, that she is bound to improve her selfe in this kind to the uttermost, for the attaining of it. This vertue of it selfe speakes (as Abel being dead) without words.* 1.937 This third gift is nothing else, save that complexion and luster which ariseth and reboundeth from the mixture of the graces of a woman, duly compounded. As from the well mixt Elements ariseth bodily temperament, and from the blood well mixed in the face ariseth beauty: so from a well tempered spirit in a woman ariseth this gracefulnesse. As once that Philosopher said, if vertue could be seene with the

eie, it would ravish a man with admirable loves of her: so the graces of a woman breaking through her, and ap∣pearing in the conversation, are able to ravish any spirit that is not a stoicke, a Nabal. A little then first of the Mate∣rialls, then of the true forme and temper it selfe of this gracefulnesse.

[ 1] For the former:* 1.938 Grace must needs be the matter of it. But, what grace? Surely graces fly together as birds of a feather,* 1.939 and linke as the peeces of a chaine: yet there bee pearles which shine more then their fellowes: and some gra∣ces, doe more befriend, and beautifie a good wife then other. [ 1] The first may be humility and a meeke spirit, for what is more unwomanly,* 1.940 unpleasing, then a mannish heart of stoutnesse and stomacke?* 1.941 and what so decketh a woman, as that wher∣by she is of great esteeme with God himselfe? So is shee that walkes in a due and daily sence of her infirmities, a modest concealement of her graces. Not Sauls talnesse, but hiding himselfe a way from honour did most grace him. Not a scholers art, open'd all at once, but the conceal∣ment of it, most graceth him. So, not a womans parts, but that so fraile a creature should bee above all thats in her, is as the varnish which makes all the picture so amiable. Why doe wee thinke Greeke and Ebrew ill bestow'd upon a woman? save, that its above her ordinary sex to know it, and to know her selfe too: yet if I should behold a wo∣man of excellent parts of learning, and yet to bee as one that knew not her owne knowledge, but drown'd all in the spirituall sence of her corruption, I should thinke I saw a rare object. Shee is little in her owne eies: yet that little∣nesse makes her greater in Gods eye, preciouser in mans, then that great gift with which she is furnished. [ 2] A second grace is selfdeniall.* 1.942 A meere scholar is growne into a character of disdaine: and so is every other thing that is meer: a meer woman, is an homely sight because ordinary. But a woman above a woman, her wits, and abilities: and especially a woman above her wrath, envie, selflove and passions: a wo∣man above her gaine, pleasures, earthly contents: having all, and yet above all: pestred with all, and yet overcomming all,

is an object of admiration. The spirit of God to affect our spirits, presents strange objects in his word, women Cap∣taines, warriours Cōquerors: what a pretty thing it is to se Iael to master a great Generall of the field with her Hammer & Naile?* 1.943 Debora to sit and judge Israel? what a miracle was our mayden Queen Elizabeth to the world? Why! but be∣cause wee thinke we see, and can scarce beleeve our eies in seeing those vertues which were admirable in the Man, to reside in a weake sexe, as it were out of place? So, the Lord presents to us in his word his master-peeces, an Abigail without sword or bow, conquering a Conqueror, and lea∣ding him captive, with her self-denial, and wisedome. And in experience we see here and there one (as a berry, or an olive, left behind) who can master a fierce husbands anger, by her long suffring and selfdeinall: one that can rule her passions, which rule al sorts. Why? save that we might admire our God as much in the Ants sagacity, as the Elephants strength? If he who can overcome himselfe, then much more shee who can do so, is greater, then he who hath overcome a city! Oh not alway in great things is goodnes: but alway in good is greatnes, especially when that good is also little!

[ 3] A third grace of a woman is faith both for the t••u••h of it and for the life of it.* 1.944 For the former, what more worth then [ 1] pretious faith? Paul saith its not of all, women or men: its a flower growing in the gardens,* 1.945 a pretious jewell worea in the bosomes of very few of this sexe.* 1.946 What can calme the soule save pardon and grace from the promise of a Father, the blood of a Mediator?* 1.947 What can make a woman peacea∣ble and of a quiet frame, save because all is well, betweene God and her selfe? And what is that grace which settles the soule in this grace save faith, the fruite of the lips, and mother of peace? They say there was once a famous Ladie in the English court, that calmed the differences of all the courtiers, and therfore they called her Ione-Makepeace. This ladie faith is that lady Ione: a meet ornament, not for court onelye but country also. Ione-Makebates each house is full of, but of Makepeaces, very few. Oh this graces absence, makes all a∣mort! womens unquietnesse of nature, wrath, scoldings and

distempers, come not so much from outward causes, or in∣ward humors, as for lacke of this lady faith. Their hearts are wicked, casting up mire and dirt in the family, like the ra∣ging sea, casting up her owne foame, and all, because the peace of God which passeth understanding, and settling the soule by faith, is wanting. Some what they once had, in crea∣tion, have lost it by corruption, cannot recover it by faith, and this disquiets them: the losse of a pig, a chicken will vexe by consent, because there is a worse vexer within. But, as wee know, if a woman had found a pearle worth an hundreth pound, shee would be overjoyed, (Christ speakes but of a groate) so that, if she should heare she had lost one of her goslings, it would little affect her: so, if this faith were within the bosome, the losses of toies, the occasions of common an∣ger in the family would cease. That would change all, as Christ calmed the sea.

[ 2] And secondly, for the life of it, what gold is so precious, as is the triall of faith:* 1.948 Marriage is as full of troubles, as a Crowne of cares. Sorrow there is sufficient to each day: to a womā by name, breeding, bearing, bringing forth: many losses she meetes with, false aspersions, feare of debts, wrong of ill neighbors and enemies, deprivall of health, her deerest chil∣dren, sundry diseases, ill successes: what were then the life of a woman under all these but miserie, if she beleeved not in the son of God, and hoped for a good end? That although she cannot say,* 1.949 All is, yet she may say, All shalbe well, when the houre of Redeemed ones is come. This life of faith wil make the bush though it burne, yet not to consume, and will bring the Son of God to walke with her in the hot fornace, who wil keep away the savor as wel as the power of fire from thē. Therfore Sara and the widow of Zarepta, and of Shunem, and Rebecca, are brought in as beleevers in that cloude of witnesses,* 1.950 as well as Abraham, and Isaac, and Iacob. So base is that speech of some Atheists, that women must meddle with no faith, but wrap themselves up in their husbands.

A fourth grace is Innocency, and truth. A compound of two in one. The one is a brestplate of defence, the other a

[ 4] Golden Girdle to gird all other graces of Gods spirit close to her.* 1.951 These I grant are peeces or Armor for Champions: but I understand my selfe to speake of women Captains and conquerors, as I tolde you before: and you know fayth is no effeminate grace (though feminine) but overcomes the world. And why should a shield of Faith (which serves to defend both the body and the Armour of it too) go without a Brestplate, and a girdle? Debora if shee will go into the feeld, shee must be armed, and a woman is not free from as∣saults, and perill, shot and darts, aswel as a man, in this feeld of the worlde: therfore must learne to put on this armour. God hath no other for men then women: though women must not put on mens apparrel, yet they must be clad in the same armor of light. That will make them shot-free. The Em∣peror Charles the 5. went among the thickest of his souldiers, and tolde his men, That a true Emperor was never shot with a Bullet. But I am sure of this, That this Brest plate is armor of proofe: An innocent, hermelesse, quiet woman, shall not be ashamed to meete her enemies in the gates, yea though it were of hell; whē things come to be debated, her uprightnes and righteousnes shall deliver her: Innocency shalbe her de∣fence against evill tongues abroad, & truth against an ill con∣science within; wheras the guilty and treacherous woman will betray her selfe, and lose the day. That very harlot, true in nothing, but that shee was the infants mothe, ••by her truth escaped the swords censure. A miescheevous woman, or a woman-lyar, who can endure? And who would not go or ride a far journey to see this other warlike woman. Those Heroines of whom story and Poëts so talke, as Penthesilea and the like, were not so gracefull a sight, nor those Amazons, that seared off one dug that they might shoot, were no such spectacles as these women, clad in innocency, and truthe. Their name is more fragrant, then sweet oyntment, and there is no dead fly to make it stinke.

[ 5] A fifth grace is zeale and prety. For the former, it serves to make the woman a stirring housewife for God,* 1.952 as Dili∣gence makes her so for her husband. Meeknesse in her own matters, well becomes her who is earnest in Gods. If a wo∣man

man would be hot and fiery, let her turne it to God, and for his cause, and this will make her coole and calme in her own. As bleeding on the arme by art, stops unnaturall bleeding by fluxe: so zeale for God, cooles the heat of corrupt passion to man. This grace becomes this sexe, the rather, because it argues truth of grace: for else calmenesse of her frame, naturally carries her to flatnesse and fulsomnesse. It must be with a Christian woman, as it is in nature with the female sexe of the creatures. Nature hath put a fircenesse into the female because of the impotency thereof: therefore the she Beare, the Lyonesse, are the most raging, and cruell. But grace makes that naturall impotency of the woman, turne impotency for God: as to provoke her husband with sweet affections for his servants and worship.* 1.953 It was a great praise for the sexe, that God would send his Prophet in the famine, rather to try the piety of the widdow of Zareptha an hea∣then, then any of the sonnes of Israel. And it was the ho∣nour of those wealthy women Joanna the wife of Herods Steward,* 1.954 and other the like to be the pious supporters of the Lord Iesus his body, when hee had not whereon to lay his head. And at this day, if estimation be made, God is as much if not more honoured with the forwardnesse of women, then of men: their nature (being fearfull) hath ever beene proner to superstition: as in Ezekiel, those women that wept from Tammuz, those devout Grecian Gentlewomen stird up by the Iewes, against Paul: and where they are out of the way, none are worse: But grace overruling corruption, turnes superstition into zeale and devotion, into religion, and then its comely.

Mens spirits are hardier,* 1.955 doe not so easily feare Ma∣jesty, tremble at judgemnts, beleeve promises, shun sinne, love good, as women: so that when they are in the way, none are better: none sooner embrace the Gospell, if it come a new to a place, none more readily joine together in communion, none more tender hearted to the distressed, and such as suffer for Christs name. God hath his women that wove scarlet and twined linnen for his Tabernacle, as Manasseh had for his Idolls. Oh! how sweet a sight is it to

see these Votaries, not of the Pope, but the Lord Iesus! who can thinke of that honorable Countesse of Richmond and Derby without admiration: the founder of so many Col∣ledges and Hospitalls. I omit to speake of all: whose praise is in the gospell? wee have many worthy momen in our daies, exceeding men in these pieties and zealous duties? Oh goe on! hold your daily entercourse with God! keepe quarter with heaven, have your conversation where your treasure is: and with that famous peece of devotion, old Anna, a widow who for above sixty yeere, dwelt in the Temple, and ceased not to fast and pray: goe on, some of you had need to doe it for your husbands and your selves too, for surely they doe it but little! The closet of a good woman graceth her more to frequent, then her still-house, kitchin, or parlour: for therin she playes the good houswife for her owne soule; being much in meditation there, in prayer, in brokennesse of heart, confession, renuing of Covenant. As for Micol, who scornes zeale in her hus∣band, hath none in her selfe, oh let not thy soule come into her counsell.

[ 6] Sutable to this piety to God, is mercy and compassion to his Saints,* 1.956 when the former, Psal. 16. 2. falls short of God, let the later be tendered to his Assignes, and Attorneys, the Saints. So saith Bathsheba, she stretcheth out her hand to the poore, yea reacheth it farre to the needy. Some women cloth their owne with skarlet, but suffer the poore to goe in rags. Surely cotton or course cloath, or canvis, is due to these, if skarlet to them. Turne skarlet rather to common cloath, then the poore goe oaked. Women, especially Mi∣nisters wives (who if bad, of all other commonly are worst) must think themselves meant,* 1.957 when Christ saith, I was na∣ked, hungry, in prison, poore, and sick; and, you clothed, fed, visited, releeved mee! Be blessed women if you bee wise. Your husbands make you their almoners and stewards, beware you proove not theeves, that the poore should curse you. A gift comes more tenderly from thee to a poore soule, then from thine husband. What sight of the basest Miser is so yrkesome, as of an hard harted woman? And what orna∣ment

so becomming a tender sexe, as a mercifull heart, to give, and to give tenderly in compassion, abundantly to six and seven? Both are Bowells: and a woman should have more (by right) then men.* 1.958 Tabitha began betimes, God would not have her die, perhaps lest wives might lose the honor and example of mercie. If being a maide shee had so many good workes to shew, of linnen clothes made for the poore, what did she being a wife? And especially let wo∣men be harberours to all, which belong to the household of faith, but above all to poore of her owne sexe, women or widowes: Its no ill sight to see you in Prisons: But if you cannot go to others, send not them away empty, who come to you!

[ 7] And to make an end, what grace should a Christian wife thinke strange? But say as he once did, A man I am, and I deeme no gift of a man unbeseeming mee.* 1.959 So thou wo∣man speake: I see not but it becomes mee to be loving, pa∣tient, wise, wary, prudent, thankfull: These are ingre∣dients into the conversion, as those spices reckoned up by Moses, to make the holy oyntment, and to cause thee to smell sweetly in the nostrils of God, thy husband, and all sorts! one other St. Peter mentions, confidence in God, the sister of faith even now mentioned: They trusted in God, and walked without amasement (he meanes such carnall and distrustfull feares as that sexe is full of:* 1.960) Their daughters are you, if you tread in their steps. As the eye of thine owne handmaid is alway awefully carried to thee, wayting for acceptance, and, and then shee is safe: so let her teach thee (as Gods handmayd) to carrie thine towards him: for the support of thy Spirit, in the whole wheele of thy conversa∣tion, for all other Gifts aswell as these, to make it strong as the staves do the cart wheele, that it cracke not in peeces. More spices might have beene brought foorth: but by these you may guesse wherof a womans sweet powder is made: let us hast to the Confection.

[ 2] For, as, not the single spices, but the Apothecaries skill made Gods oyntments,* 1.961 so, not only these meer graces, but the medly of them, the temper of that spirit arising from them,

is that thing which makes the wife so gracefull. This must come from that wise & alsufficient skill of the spirit of grace, which must teach her Reynes in the night season, and put into her the spirit of gracefulnesse: He who hath given a gift to the Bee to dispose that honey shee hath gathered from all flowers, in so wise a manner, that her workmanship makes all the beholders to admire it; must in an higher kind teach her to make her graces into one compound and temper; I say must enable her to lay them all so sweetly together, and order her whole marriage course by the helpe of them; that both every one may afford her speciall influence into it, and all of them together may make her face to shine, and the beauty therof to appeare gracefull to all the beholders. Shee must beg of God this spirit by Prayer: and as all the loose flowers of the Nosegay must be wisely ordred and put toge∣ther, and then bound together with a thred, that they scatter not:* 1.962 So the spirit of warinesse and wisedome must gird the loose loynes of her soule closely together, and teach her to accommodate her selfe to every occasion offered, in a sutable correspondence,* 1.963 that there be no gulfe nor interruption, no unequalnesse nor disproportion in her carriage. No man shall need to paint an exact beautifull face: nor teach her that is faire, to shew it forth, it shewes it selfe to all naturaly without trouble. As Paul told Lisias: That he was borne a free man of Rome, it cost him nothing: so where an heart is fur∣nisht with grace, it will without any difficulty expresse it, and cast her savor abroad: That which will make an hypo∣crite to toyle and sweate, comes from grace with sweet∣nesse, and facility; yet I deny not but as that Glyceris shewd great skill in compounding the flowers of her posies, and the Iewells of a Crowne must be skilfully set into it, to make it glorious: so, the more carefull the woman shalbe to marke the circumstances, the seasons and all the occasions of her life so much the more wisely she shall be able to apply each of these graces to their objects, and shew forth the lustre of all in her generall carriage. And such as are the ingredients, such must needes the compound bee, if skill and discretion order it well. Now, the expression of all these in one is amiablenes:

that is the way whereby she utters her selfe, and in it, the lovely blush of them all appears: humbly amiable, mercifully amiable, amiable in the comely carriage of all, (as her bodie is in the wearing of the most costly and best suted attire) most comely and pleasing. Especialy when the grace of this grace is added to it, that this is not in a pang, or good moode, when all goes well, but comes from a principle within, which causes her to goe on in an uniforme course: so that looke how you see her at one time, you see her at another: shee is alway her selfe: and as a Virgin of a comely face, al∣though she bee all blubberd with teares, she loseth not her beauty, but by the contrary, doth commend it: so, although the occasions of her life are sad aswell as cherefull, yet the cloud doth not disanull the sun, but causes it to shine thorough with a more acceptable grace. So farre I say as weake flesh mixt with much corruption wil admit.* 1.964 And this forthe latter.

What shall I then say for Conclusion of this former part of my text that the married wives must honor their Mar∣riage by this amiable behaviour?* 1.965 [ 1] Surely it instructeth us in and about the variety of couples in marriage:* 1.966 The oddes is as great as the difference of the Prophets baskets of figs, very good and very naught, so that they could not be eaten. The gratious wife is not only an helper to the Estate of her hus∣band; ••ut shee is a Co••fort and contentment to his mind and spirit: shee lies in his bosome as a bag of sweet spices un∣der his A••me••ol••s, as a perfumed garment to his nostrils, as the spikenard of the spouse in the Canticles which gave her savor to the beloved,* 1.967 when he lay upon his bed. Hence it is that Salomon, compares her not onely to the most costly, but especially to the most comely things which Nature hath made. All her teeth, her forhead, lips, necke, bosome, thighes, legges, yea even her very goings, are pleasing in his eye: he compares her to the lillies, to the washed sheepe, to the Roes of the Mountaines, to the Doves, to the Cedars, to the Cur∣tains of Salomon, and every lovely, amiable thing: All to shew that amiablenes••e and gracefulnes is that principall excellency which commends a wife to her husbands esteem and affection: without the which the rest were little worth: In other things shee hath a mixture of her selfe: but in this

she resembles him who hath restored her to her first order and comelinesse in her creation. A creation which no out∣ward wealth or price can purchase; nothing in the world can equall the reflexion of those graces, and the sa∣vor of that report which came from her. They are in her, not for her: as the flowers of a garden serve to garnish the house▪ so these grow in her for his use (her husbands) to adorne and grace his person, that he may be knowne in the gates. All that City, which knew Ruth to be a vertuous wo∣man, knew Booz to be an happy man in her: himselfe thin∣king no lesse when he told her so. Her vertues indeed shine within her owne sphaere and centre chiefly: yet, the influ∣ence therof, is as that oile of Aaron, which stayed not where it was first layd, upon his head, but wet the whole attire, and earth about. And, as that box of costly oyntment, though onely powred upon the feete of Christ, yet made the whole house savor of it: so the temper which ariseth of the sim∣plieity, meeknesse, modesty of a good wife, makes her amiable to such as never saw her face. Its as the vices of the bad wife, which like oile in the palme of ones hand, can∣not be hid.

Contrariwise,* 1.968 an unhappy husband falles alone, nor in himselfe, so much, as in his vitious wife: who creates a∣broad dishonour, at home discontent to him. The best man, thus plagued shall hardly avoid one of these imputations, ei∣ther that he is unworthy of a good one, because he makes her no better: or unhappy, because she is no better: the one is his sinne, the other his shame, both his sorrow. She is nei∣ther comfort to him at home, because he is an eie-witnesse of what he would not, nor abroad, being forced to stop his nose at the ill savour of he vices, as Ahigail at Nabals churlishnesse. Neither can hee be, but as the body sitting upon a rolling stone, which is never at rest but alway in conflict with himselfe, with wrath and despaire; yet there is no way to bee rid of such, either in the getting, or having, except God shew a man favour, that a man fall not into her hands. So much for information. But from this a∣nother use arises.

And thats admonition to good wives and happy hus∣bands,* 1.969 thus much:* 1.970 To the good wife, this, if God have thus graced thee, enjoy it not thy selfe, but set a Crowne upon thine husband, expresse the temper of thy inward vertues, in the amiablenesse of a loving and sweet carriag. Forget it not even in affliction, utter it even in the midst of bodily weaknesse: Let thy pleasing influence breake through all opposition and sorrowes, as the Sunne breakes through the thick mist, or darke cloudes, yea although eclipsed in part, yet shine in part, and let a glimmering appeare; remember, thou art a true friend, made for the day of adversity; it is not so thankeworthy for thee, to cheere thine husband, when he can cheere thee, or himselfe without thee while the day of prosperity lasts; but then to play the sweet orator, and to make him merry, when all other comforts have forsaken him, in the sad season of sicknesse, of sorrow; this is better then all musique and melody. Every base bird (while sum∣mer lasts) will chirp and chitter: But to sing upon the bare bow, or thorne bush, when the leaves are gone, and the cold winter approacheth, this argues a wife truly gracefull, truly amiable and cheerfull, and (next to the Soules peace with God) is the greatest content under the Sunne. I ex∣hort no woman to play the hypocrite (neither indeed can gracefulnesse be long acted by any apish imitator.) But, I entreat her, whom God hath thus graced, to understand the use she serves for, not concealing her selfe, but to the utter∣most to apply her selfe,* 1.971 to the comfort of her husband. And for himselfe, this I say, If God hath thus honored thee with such a wife, understand (oh man) thine owne happinesse, and digest it seriously, with thanks to him, who hath framed her so, and brought her so framed, into thy bosome! Let her finde by good experience, there is no love lost; but, let thy heart rest in her and trust to her: seale her a bond of thy sure and faithfull respect, againe, and let her see, she hath not a wearisome Nabal to do with, who cannot value that which is pretious in her at a due rate. Set her as a signet on thy right hand, and let her be neerer thine heart, then thy cost∣liest jewell. Let it not be enough that thou canst love one,

who hath honoured thee, more then all thy wealth, or birth could doe, but, procure her honour in all places, and suffer none to eclipse her worth. Give her of the worke of her hands, and let her workes praise her in the gates. And, so much bee spoken for the use of this third Branch, and so, touching the meane, to preserve the honour of Marri∣age, by the duties which concerne each party in severall.

And thus,* 1.972 having at last absolved this Taske which I un∣dertooke, to wit, to shew, how Matrimoniall honor may both bee purchased and preserved entire, viz: first by a wife Entrance marrying in the Lord, and aptly in the Lord; as also by wise watching to the Duties, both of common nature, reaching to them both; and in speciall, pertaining to either; let mee conclude the whole treatise with an item to both [ 1] sorts: First, all ye, that are apt, religious, joint worshippers of God,* 1.973 who love each other, are chast, and consenting in the generall: also who in speciall, are understanding, provi∣dent, respective husbands, subject, helpfull, gracefull wives: Let me say this unto you both, I doubt not, but in the rea∣ding of my former treatise,* 1.974 you willingly heare of other un∣happy couples; your selves better married: But, which of you in thus reading looke up to God, or acknowledge such a blessing, with due thankfulnes? Which of you do but sup∣pose, (as it is not amisse to suppose, what might have bin or what may bee) or say within your selves, If ••he Lo••d had not provided better for some of us, then we deserved, then we desired, given us good companions, before ever we knew what the misery of bad,* 1.975 or the worth of good ones meant: yea, if he had not beene better to us most unworthie, then he hath beene to more worthie then our selves, (whom he saw fitter to beare, to profit by the crosse, then our selves were) oh, what had become of us? Oh! Nabals, La••ecs, Zippora's, Iebazels, had swallowed up our sou••s, spirits, peace, welfare, thrift and all! The continuall vexitions of bad heads, daily dropping of bad wives had oppressed us! Alas? And why hath the Lord done this? Surely not for any good hee saw, or foresaw in us, but because he knew how unmeet we were to honor him, under such a chaine!

Why then, do wee not more magnify his providence, and wonder at his love, who hath so guarded us! There being so few apt couples in the world, that our lot should bee to light upon no unapter; there being so many bad ones, that wee should light upon no worser? Is not this mercy? Was it a gol∣den blessing at first, in our owne sense and confession, and is it become a leaden one now, after, ten, twenty, thirty; yea fourty yeeres experience? Doe rich Pearles fall in price? Could such mercie be better spared now then it might thirty yeeres a goe? Have we had the stock of good marriage now 20. yeeres, and come far shorter in the Tribute of praise, thanks, and fruit, then when we first entred? There be 4. ages of each marriage, through the sin of the marryed, the first gol∣dē, the next silver, the third brasse, the last yron! At first couples begin with precious affectiōs to God, to each other, join much in duty, cleave closely each to other, mutually excite each o∣ther to zeale & good works, and pay their vowes: well then, nextly Gods part weaknes and decayes, and they hold mu∣tuall marriage-love hardly. Then thirdly both Gods part and their owne faile too, and they waxe fulsome, and formall in both: But lastly, and before they die, the Devill will faile of his will but he will make them both, loose, carnall, profane and scandalous! consider this! how many Marriages of great hope and solemnity, have by these Declensions proved starke naught at last, when indeed they should have proved best, and by degrees come to perfection. Let it bee a sad Item to such as enter well, to beware, lest they trust too much to their owne wisedome and strength, which will lay them in the durt, ere they be a ware.

[ 2] Againe, how little do wee condole the unhappines of mismatcht couples?* 1.976 Yea even Christians, better then our selves? Rather readie to disdayne and scorne them, then to condole and pity them? As those two Aaron and Miriam, fell a cavilling at Moses for his Aethiopain wife? Why? Had he not sorrow enough before? Was this to mourne with him, or rather to adde more burden thereto? Was it not from God? And were they to quarrel at it? Even so it fareth with many. That which should provok tēdernesse, love, fellow-feeling &

compassion in men rather causeth disdaine, indignation, alienating and estrangement of heart, & deserting of fellow∣ship! Why I pray? Do they stoop under their burden so deep∣ly, that they are oft ashamed to complaine, and dost thou trample upon them? Dost thou judge them afflicted of God, and humbled for sin? Knowing thy wisedome and choice was no wh••t better? Thy successe only was happier in pro∣vidence? No: but as thy selfe in the like affliction wouldst be handled, so deale thou! Bear their burden, associate their per∣sons, use all meanes to reconcile their spirits, to compound their differences, to reduce them to mediocrity and indiffe∣rency of aff••ctions! many couples had prooved happier, if even such as were neerest them had not rather made them objects of abhorring, then of compassion! A great sin! and meane to aggravate, yea exasperate those seedes of evill, which disproportion at the first was like to kindle too much! Pray, pray rather for mercie, and strength to guide, and carry them through! For how hardly couldst thou digest those mor∣sells once, which must bee their daily diet? Wilt thou eate thy sweet bits alone, and so little wish them to such as want them wholy! Once a man enjoying sweet marriage, thought seriously of another friend, that never married: a viling himself as base in respect of him that seemed to be above the need of that which himselfe could neither well want, nor thank∣fully improove!* 1.977 How much more shouldst thou then pray for such as would faine enjoy, that which no creature can help them withall?

[ 3] Moreover, if, not our worth, but rather our weaknes hath mooved the Lord to shew us this mercy,* 1.978 how doth the sense of our weaknes humble us? How do we esteeme of the grace of God, in such, as although but ill married, yet do walke more wisely, under that crosse, and do grow daily, more hum∣ble and wary, and purge out much drosse out of themselves which perhaps the blessings of God purge not out of us, but rather make us sleep securely in the love of them? As pride, hipocrisie, selflove and sensuality? what if we whose portion is better, do yet make a slighter matter of it, and turne it into wantonnes? How just were it with God, to bereave us of

our sweet companions, leaving us to passe the rest of our daies, either in solitarinesse with snares (so that we should bring our gray heads to the graves with dishonor, (as many have done) or in marriage more sad and sorrowfull the lat∣ter part of our life, then ever it was comfortable in the for∣mer part thereof? Could we well brooke such sawce, and sower hearbs? yet fit for such as have eaten our former dainties with such unthankfulnesse? verily, the expe∣rience I have had of second or third matches which have betided some husbands have made mee to thinke of our Saviours words to Peter,* 1.979 when thou wert young, thou girdedst thy selfe, and went at thy pleasure: But when thou art old, another shall bind thee and lead thee whither thou wouldest not! Surely when thou art old its ill ending, it were better beginning with it in thy youth, if God would! Yet so it is, many have beene faine to hang up the harpes of their youth, upon the wislowes of sad marriage in old age, and sing, this new life requi••es other manners, other abearing: before, I was carried upon Eagles wings, now I must shift for my selfe: my battels were once wont to bee fought to my hand, but now, I must knowe warre, and fight my own. Now I am tried indeed, what is in my heart, what patience, what selfe-deniall is in it, yea my best wits to please, to conceale what I cannot amend, and all too lit∣tle! Doe you wonder? Who should have told you, that a good wife was worth the thanks while you had her? Or that she was any better jewell, then you thought you deser∣ved, till she was taken away? If nothing, but wanting can convince your folly, why should not medicine cure your maladie.

[ 4] To end this former branch. If your selves have sped well in a businesse of such hasard,* 1.980 why doe you not guide others by your experience to make a good choice? you will say, marriage makings are thanklesse offices! I grant it, that if all I have premised be true, I thinke some may con them small thanke, who have holpen them to their marriages: But, as hard as the world goes, and although all hopes must rest upon proofe, yet by your leave, some may give a shrewder

guesse then others,* 1.981 and say more touching aptnesse or unapt∣nesse: howsoever, I say to you as those Lepers, having stored themselves with victualls and booty: wee doe not well to suffer our brethren to starve! And although the best care may miscarry: yet the care is in no fault, but ra∣ther much worse it must bee, where Counsellors are wan∣ting.

Secondly,* 1.982 I say to all such good couples, be wise: l••ve, love,* 1.983 and leave. What hath a man of all his sore labours, un∣der the Sunne? or what profits it, to spend our life in need∣lesse toile and vexation? Live first, in the joifull improove∣ment of all those graces and blessings, where with God hath endowed you. Take and mutually possesse each others ver∣tues: grow by the helpe of others more inward, holy, use∣full in the communion of Saints. Let your streames flow to others, enjoy not all to your selves. Love secondly: endeere your hearts in each other mutually: Suffer not Satan to come betweene barke and tree, and through a satiety of Blessings, to turne all to wearinesse and fulsomenesse: to grow estran∣ged in your affections: yea, ready to take pritches at each other, forgetting Gods love to you both: If some had those advantages we have (should you say, of consent and peace) oh! what a close walking with God would it produce, without separation, whereas we vanish? how would they settle religion, and government of family, which they would and cannot, wee might, and will not? Leave lastly, each other, willingly and contentedly, when God shall determine your short pilgrimage; which will so much the easilier be, if you have lived and loved before! the parting will be bitter however: yet much worse, if all be to bee done at death: Sweeter will the parting be, upon experi∣ence of former marriage improovements; then upon guilt of remedilesse errors! But I say, the time is short, use the world,* 1.984 as if you used it not, buy as if you bought not, marry as if you married not; doe all moderately: knocke off be∣fore, unloose in season: There hath beene a time of em∣bracing, there must come another far from it. By that rejoi∣cing you have had in Christ,* 1.985 die daily; and tell each it other

in your best rejoicing: I bid you not do as heathens, set a scul before you on your marriage day: with a Motto: What I have bin, thou art: and, what I am thou shalt be! But know, marriage happines is but the liberty of a prison. Squeez it not too hard, lest you force blood: use it slightly and it will comfort you. Say not its good being here, build not Taberna∣cles, Matth. 17. 4. Let not death knocke unawares; Its pitty, a man should be in love with shells on the shore, as to for∣get the sip, and be swept away: or love the husband here, forgetting Christ: a carnall relation, renonuncing an eternall!

[Vse 3] This point also, (to conclude all) is instruction, to shadow out the priviledge of them who are united to Christ by the marriage of faith and the spirit.* 1.986 Its a mystery, as Paul calles it.* 1.987 And, as sometimes he teaches married persons their duties by the mutuall union of Christ and the Church: so also, ano∣ther while he describes the true union and Amity of Christ and the spouse, by the samenes of flesh, which marriage cau∣seth betweene husband and wife. A word or two of both: and [ 1] first how Christ and his spouse meet. For, looke how Eli••zer was a spokesman between Isaac and Rebecca,* 1.988 to draw her into a marriage knot with him: and as he carryed the Bracelets and tokens sent in Isaac's name, to allure her to him: also declared the abundant wealth of Abraham, in cattel, gold and jewells, all to bestow upon his onely son Isaac: that so the richnesse and content fulnesse of the match might per∣swade Rebecca: So doth the Lord by his spokesmen the Mes∣sengers, reveale to his Church by his spirit, all his wealth and Treasures of wisedome and knowledge: all put into the flesh of the Lord Iesus, and tells her 1. Cor. 1. all the goods which he hath givē us in him: that he may therby surprise her heart, and gaine her to be his; he sets out his son from head to foote in all amiablenesse of person and graces, that his eyes and looks might wound her, and steale her heart away from trash and toies of the world.

It is he who not only so,* 1.989 but where as he found her unapt for himself, an Amorite, an Hittite, in her blood, a base Cap∣tive: he shaves off her hayre, pares her nailes, washes her, and

makes her cleane: he bestowes her dowry upon her, (not as men upon their wyves) for they looke for it from them, thinking them little without it: he discovers the miserable, desolate, and forlorne life of her wofull vriginity, wherin as an orphan, she lay open to all enemyes, all wrongs and inju∣ries: convinces her, that her support and welfare is meerly from himselfe: Nay tells her that shee was engaged before to a most cursed husband, who would have undone her: he undertakes to stab him, and to make her way cleer, for the marriage of himselfe, the old contract being dissolved: He becomes an earnest suiter, an hot lover of hers, and refuses no patience, to winne her: even till his locks be full of the dew of the night: All to make her his owne, his only one: that having renounced (not only base qualities, but) her own fa∣thers house, her selfe, her name, and all her owne happinesse, he may be happy in her, and she in him alone, (for he can endure no corryvall) and so be married without any feare of ever being divorced. He causesher heart, by this Attractive, and these cords of a man, to resolve upon the match: Shee then enclines to him, shee can say neither more nor lesse save that it is from the Lord; she begins to chide herselfe for her so long ignorance of his worth, unacquaintance with his excellencies: little enquiring after such a person: now he needs no arguments, for shee cannot pardon her selfe, that she knew him no sooner, she casts off all her colors and covers of shame, and resignes up her selfe fully, freely and for ever to be his: abhorring her selfe, and wondring that such a per∣son [ 2] can love such a sorry spouse,* 1.990 she compts all others as dung, they all stinke unto her in comparison of him alone: and therfore consents to his motion, beleeving shee shall find no other of him, then she hath apprehended him to bee. This touching the meeting.

And upon this her consent Christ and his spouse live and love together:* 1.991 for Christ takes her to himselfe, from that day forward, even home to himselfe, and shewes her his dwel∣ling, making her glad in the tents of her mother, as Isaac did Rebecca in Sara's tent: he marries her to himselfe in righ∣teousnes, compassion, faythfulnes and love: he puts a robe

about her, and a ring upon her hand, a tyre upon her head, shooes upon her feet: furnishes her with al his treasure: killes the fat calfe, makes her a roiall feast, of all fat things, of refi∣ned wines; even his Sacraments: he endowes her with all he hath, takes her both for better, to rejoice in her graces: and for the worser to cover all her infirmities, to make a great praise of her poorest vertues, judging her by them, and not the other: undertaks for all her debts: none may sue her, but in his name, who answers all sutes & quarels: gives her himself, his heart and love, and all which is meet for her for need and comfort, for this life and a better, for why? She is his Heph∣ziba, and Beulah: In all her sicknesses, he assists and stands by her, he is afflicted, in all her afflictions, & his right hand saves, sustains and redeems her: Charges the daughters that they wake her not till she please, and his love is her banner and defence: And let none touch his beloved, for he toucheth the Apple of his eye: no wrong she receives of any, but he makes it good an hundreth fold, till shee be past all danger.

And sutable (in measure) is the spouses carriage towards Christ,* 1.992 (if shee bee not degenerate: Shee againe most deerly loves him, shee is in all things helpfull to him to his glory, to his contents, even as a wife of his desires: Shee is reverently and meekly subject to him, under all his commands, with most loiall awe, and yet with delight as under an easie yoke; is most tender of his welfare, yea is glad, and thinkes not her selfe too good to wash the feet of his poorest servants: if her goodnesse cannot reach to him, she reaches it to his children, whom (in his absence) she nourishes, solaces her selfe in, beholds him in them, visits, clothes, and releeves them in their needs; thinking them happy who may stand as ser∣vants in his presence: shee thinkes her selfe more happy in him, then if married to the greatest potentate upon earth: The spokesmen who treated with her about this marriage, are pretious in her eyes, yea their feet are beautifull to her, for the glad tidings they brought her: Shee compts no labor too much, no cost too deer for him: Even the costliest oynt∣ment is not good enough for his feet. The reproaches of them that upbraid him, goe into the bowells of her belly, and

dart to her heart: she walkes not only not rebelliously and contumeliously, but not uncomely, not slightly: But decks her selfe with all the gifts of the spirit, humility, wisedome and sweet tendernes of spirit, yea the spirit of grace is in her lips, that in all her behavior and converse shee may walke in and out gracefully and amially in his sight, in al long suffring and welpleasing: shee is faithfull to him in all his secrets, keeps his counsell: Dares not prostitute her selfe to any, not only lusts, but even liberties, or companies which shee thinkes may bee distastfull to him, yea but suspicious; The tokens he sends her, as pledges of his favor, are most deere unto her. She seeks no priviate welfare of her owne besides his: She distrusts not his provision, but trusts him confidently, knowing shee shall not want: denies her selfe for his sake, & rejoices that by this, her loyall heart may be tried: Thinkes never the worse of him, because she suffers for him, but rather the more he costs her, the deerer he is to her: No husband of other women can staine hers, for hers is above all, the cheef of ten thousand; the fashions, garish & whorish attires, paintings and spangles of harlots come not about her neck, nor wrestes But shee frames her selfe to his contents, in all chastity shee knowes his voice, but abhorres a strangers: Nothing greeves her, but his absence: All her longings, desires, and teares, are, that she might be with him, where nothing may ever divide her from him!

Let it teach us in the midst of our marriage contents to raise up our affections to the joy of this spirituall union: and in the midst of our discontents here, to make supply with the happines of this!

And this may serve for these two generall uses also,* 1.993 be∣longing to the whole discourse: In a word therfore, to con∣clude all; If that, which I have at large sayde about Marriage duties, seeme to discourage any weake ones, as if their oile and meale could not reach out so farre; they shall never at∣tayne to this measure; I will not answere them as once a Poët answerd one that asked him, why hee alway brought in women as very vertuous, alway commending them: but another presented them (on the stage) as vitious, alway tra∣ducing

them: Oh saith he, I present them as I would have them, as they should bee: but he brings them in as they are commonly. So I might say, my discourse doth not presuppose eyther all husbands or wyves as they are, but as they should bee. Ayme at it as a marke: But I will answer as a learned heathen in his Epistle to his friend speakes, when he had re∣ceived a very short letter from him, I have read over thy very short letter very often, and so often, that I have made it a very long one. So here: My large discourse may dismay some for comming so short of practice as they doe: Beseech the Lord therfore to behold thy defects with a mercifull eye, to read the short lines of thy obedience often over in the glasse and perspective of the Lord Iesus: and so, by his large interpreting, and much looking upon thine honest endea∣vour, it shal be esteemed as full and large. God helpe! Our discourses of these matters, are far larger, then the practice of the most is: Our selves who write and ours, are poore, and unsutable to our Rules! Bowbeit, not contrary, not wil••••ly op∣posite! & where there is but endeavor, God will accept Give Lord power to do as thou directest, and command what thou wilt! Speake and spare not upon these te••nes: for thy ser∣vants, handmayds, (mouring for their deafe ••ares, and dead herts) desire to hearken and to obey. Looke not at what is ours, its vile! but at that which is thine in us, which is preti∣ous! In which happy desire, I conclude the Treatise.

The End of the Treatise.

Notes

• * 1.1

  The scope of the Text.
• * 1.2

  Chap. 12.
• * 1.3

  Jew confused in his conc••••t of Marriage.
• * 1.4

  1 Tim. 4. 3.
• * 1.5

  1 Tim 4. 1, 2, 3.
• * 1.6

  Heathens opi∣nion of forni∣cation.
• * 1.7

  The Analis of it.
• * 1.8

  The first point Marriage is honourable.
• * 1.9

  How? in foure respects.
• * 1.10

  The first re∣spect.
• * 1.11

  Woman ho∣nourable.
• * 1.12

  Prov. 19. 14.
• * 1.13

  Marriage is from God, yea in innocency, and he still or∣dereth it: see Psal. 68. 6.
• * 1.14

  God setteth solitary ones in families.
• * 1.15

  Pro. 12. 4.
• * 1.16

  Pro. 31. 10.
• * 1.17

  Man honoura∣ble.
• * 1.18

  1 Cor. 11. 7.
• * 1.19

  Pro. 17. 27.
• * 1.20

  Gen 49. 3.
• * 1.21

  Dan. 4. 34.
• * 1.22

  Iob 42. 12.
• * 1.23

  The second respect of ho∣nour. The Nature of Marriage.
• * 1.24

  2 Pet. 1. 2.
• * 1.25

  2 Sam. 18. 3.
• * 1.26

  Gen. 1. 28. & 2. 18.
• * 1.27

  Iohn 2. 5.
• * 1.28

  Third respect: the use of mar∣riage.
• * 1.29

  The fourth respect of ho∣nour, viz. the sacrednesse.
• * 1.30

  1 Cor. 3. 17.
• * 1.31

  Rom. 13. 5.
• * 1.32

  Psal. 105. 15.
• * 1.33

  1 Sam. 26. 9.
• * 1.34

  Pro. 6. 34.
• * 1.35

  Terrour to the dishonourers of it.
• * 1.36

  Against Pa∣pists.
• * 1.37

  Papists have personall Sa∣craments.
• * 1.38

  1 Tim. 4. 2.
• * 1.39

  See our lear∣ned writers. Centur.
• * 1.40

  2 Tim. 2. 17.
• * 1.41

  The life and practice of Pa∣pists justly pu∣nished by God
• * 1.42

  1 Thes. 2. 15.
• * 1.43

  Reuel. 18 2.
• * 1.44

  Gen. 2. 18.
• * 1.45

  1 Cor. 7. 1.
• * 1.46

  Popish mag∣nifying of vir∣ginity confu∣ted.
• * 1.47

  Acts 19. 35.
• * 1.48

  Mat. 19. 12.
• * 1.49

  Acts 19. 15.
• * 1.50

  2. Branch of terrour against all prophaners of marriage.
• * 1.51

  1. Sam. 2. 23.
• * 1.52

  1 King 21. 25.
• * 1.53

  Sam. 25.
• * 1.54

  Marriage ab∣horred by the base life of some couples.
• * 1.55

  Exod. 4. 25.
• * 1.56

  Num. 25. 6. 14
• * 1.57

  Prov. 31. 10.
• * 1.58

  Admonition to prevent the dishonour of marriage.
• * 1.59

  Marriage no buckler to sence our selves in bad courses.
• * 1.60

  1 Sam. 2. 30.
• * 1.61

  Conclusion.
• * 1.62

  Comfort to good couples, who honour marriage.
• * 1.63

  Wants of weak and religious couples shall be pardoned.
• * 1.64

  Rom 12. 2.
• * 1.65

  1 Kings 8.
• * 1.66

  Application of the comfort
• * 1.67

  M••rriage is no loose nor idle, way of service.
• * 1.68

  Encourage∣ment to religi∣ous couples.
• * 1.69

  Job 5. 24.
• * 1.70

  Job 20. 17.
• * 1.71

  Prov. 17. 6.
• * 1.72

  Psal. 138. 3.
• * 1.73

  Esay 59. 21.
• * 1.74

  Ezra 8 9.
• * 1.75

  Psal. 128. 6.
• * 1.76

  Miseries shun∣ned by good couples.
• * 1.77

  Married cou∣ples must serve God in their time.
• * 1.78

  2. Sam. 19. 24.
• * 1.79

  Amos 6. 6.
• * 1.80

  Ioel 2. 16.
• * 1.81

  Esay 26. 20.
• * 1.82

  Luke 5. 34.
• * 1.83

  Zach. 12. 17.
• * 1.84

  Psal. 137. 5.
• * 1.85

  Esay 4. ult.
• * 1.86

  Revel. 3.
• * 1.87

  Psal. 32. 6.
• * 1.88

  Isai 26. 3.
• * 1.89

  Malac. 3.
• * 1.90

  Psal. 91. 7.
• * 1.91

  Quest. How may married couples attain this honour?
• * 1.92

  Answ. By two things; first, by good en∣trance: second∣ly, continuance
• * 1.93

  The former part: to marry in the Lord.
• * 1.94

  Entrance re∣quires good∣nesse and aptnesse.
• * 1.95

  To marry in the Lord, what?
• * 1.96

  2 Cor. 5. 20.
• * 1.97

  Marks of it.
• * 1.98

  1 Sam. 25.
• * 1.99

  The first sight of unworthi∣nesse of this favour.
• * 1.100

  The second: they see a re∣conciliation.
• * 1.101

  Judg. 19. 3.
• * 1.102

  Jer. 2. ••.
• * 1.103

  The third; their hearts••re broken hereby
• * 1.104

  Zach. 10. 12.
• * 1.105

  The fourth: they being convinced of Gods ends, beleeve it.
• * 1.106

  The fifth: From hence they are encou∣raged to obey.
• * 1.107

  Psal. 45.
• * 1.108

  Eph. 6.
• * 1.109

  M••••kes of a lower degree.
• * 1.110

  Job 33. 23.
• * 1.111

  Zach. 9. 9.
• * 1.112

  Cant. 3.
• * 1.113

  Reasons of this first branch
• * 1.114

  The first: Rash matches unblest.
• * 1.115

  The jewels of the marriage ring.
• * 1.116

  Faith and hu∣mility.
• * 1.117

  Peace.
• * 1.118

  Ephes. 6.
• * 1.119

  Purity.
• * 1.120

  Righteousnes.
• * 1.121

  Trials of m∣riage many.
• * 1.122

  1 Cor. 7. 35.
• * 1.123

  God is ••eldom found out of his owne way.
• * 1.124

  2 Tim. 3. 3.
• * 1.125

  Grace levels all dispropor∣tions.
• * 1.126

  Objections and doubts answered.
• * 1.127

  1 King. 21. 25.
• * 1.128

  2 Kings 4. 27.
• * 1.129

  Luk. 23. 31.
• * 1.130

  Mat. 12. 35.
• * 1.131

  Rom. 1. 13.
• * 1.132

  Luke 9. 60.
• * 1.133

  1 Cor. 5. 10.
• * 1.134

  Instan.
• * 1.135

  Pro. 24. 34.
• * 1.136

  2 Cron. 19. 11.
• * 1.137

  Eccles. 7. 26.
• * 1.138

  Ephes. 4. 14.
• * 1.139

  Esay 30.
• * 1.140

  Vses of the point.
• * 1.141

  1. Terror and repr••ofe.
• * 1.142

  Bran. 1.
• * 1.143

  P••opnane scor∣ners to m••rry in the Lord, terrified.
• * 1.144

  1 Kings 12. 10.
• * 1.145

  Ju••g. 14▪ 3.
• * 1.146

  Josh 23. 29.
• * 1.147

  Prov. 9. 17.
• * 1.148

  Jedg ult.
• * 1.149

  As Gen. 6. 2, 3
• * 1.150

  2. Branch of terrour.
• * 1.151

  Marriages with them that are onely civi∣lized, unsafe.
• * 1.152

  Gen▪ 6. 1.
• * 1.153

  Ps••l 4. 8.
• * 1.154

  Branch 3.
• * 1.155

  Reproofe.
• * 1.156

  Of such in which either partie is bad.
• * 1.157

  1 Kings 21. 25
• * 1.158

  cap. 21. ver. 7.
• * 1.159

  1 Kings 21. 7.
• * 1.160

  Eccles. 4. 9.
• * 1.161

  Judg. 11. 38.
• * 1.162

  Mat. 23. 15.
• * 1.163

  A villanous speech.
• * 1.164

  Admonition to such.
• * 1.165

  2 Kings 1. 13.
• * 1.166

  Psal. 39. 13.
• * 1.167

  Iob 20. 11.
• * 1.168

  Branch 4.
• * 1.169

  Admonition to the religi∣ous married to the irreligious Bran. 1.
• * 1.170

  Luk. 1. 6.
• * 1.171

  1 Sam. 18. 27.
• * 1.172

  1 Sam. 25.
• * 1.173

  Job 1▪ 8, 9.
• * 1.174

  D••••••. 22. 11.
• * 1.175

  2 Cor. 6. 15.
• * 1.176

  D••n 2 32.
• * 1.177

  Prov. 19. 13.
• * 1.178

  Job 2. 9. 12.
• * 1.179

  2 Sam. 6. 23.
• * 1.180

  Luk. 1. 6.
• * 1.181

  Luke 15. 28
• * 1.182

  Branch 2.
• * 1.183

  Diverters of their wives from religion to other mat∣ters, reproved.
• * 1.184

  Connivers on∣ly at the reli∣gion of their yoke-fellows, not approvers thereof, taxed.
• * 1.185

  Commenders of religion in their wives for others re••pects, not for religi∣on, blamed.
• * 1.186

  1 Pet. 3. 1.
• * 1.187

  1 Cor. 1. 25.
• * 1.188

  1 Cor. 7. 16.
• * 1.189

  Luk. 10. 42.
• * 1.190

  Scorners to be drawne by their wives re∣ligion, faulty.
• * 1.191

  Counsell for such as draw in an evil yoke Gen. 41. 9.
• * 1.192

  1. Rip up thy state to God.
• * 1.193

  2. Redeem old errours, and pray for pardon
• * 1.194

  Gen. 17. 18.
• * 1.195

  Deut. 5. 28.
• * 1.196

  3. Passe by or∣dinary faults.
• * 1.197

  1 Pet. 3. 1.
• * 1.198

  4 Fret not at thy lot.
• * 1.199

  Luke 21. 19.
• * 1.200

  Esay 26. 20.
• * 1.201

  Luke 5. 40.
• * 1.202

  5. Conceale grievances so long as is pos∣sible.
• * 1.203

  Heb. 12. 13.
• * 1.204

  Prov. ••8. 10.
• * 1.205

  Prov. 10. 29.
• * 1.206

  6. Justifie not thy owne er∣rors, by others
• * 1.207

  Instruction.
• * 1.208

  What the best object of the ma••ried is.
• * 1.209

  1. Respect.
• * 1.210

  Job 28. 18.
• * 1.211

  Prov. 8. 11.
• * 1.212

  2 Sam. 23. 19.
• * 1.213

  Prov. 19. 22.
• * 1.214

  2. Respect.
• * 1.215

  3. Respect.
• * 1.216

  Jonah 2. 8.
• * 1.217

  Ad monition against some errours herein.
• * 1.218

  The first.
• * 1.219

  The second.
• * 1.220

  Gal. 6. 7.
• * 1.221

  3. Branch.
• * 1.222

  ••ecles 9. 11.
• * 1.223

  Exhortation to marry in the Lord in 3. branches▪
• * 1.224

  Three bran∣ches of it.
• * 1.225

  The first: Youth must redeeme her golden season for this end.
• * 1.226

  Eccles. 12. 1.
• * 1.227

  Mat. 12. 35.
• * 1.228

  Luke 10. 42.
• * 1.229

  Eccles. 12. 1.
• * 1.230

  John 21. 18.
• * 1.231

  Single life not like marriage in point of troubles, but more free.
• * 1.232

  Read Prov. 5. 11. 12.
• * 1.233

  John 3. 8.
• * 1.234

  Gen. 6. 2.
• * 1.235

  Lam. 3. 23.
• * 1.236

  Esay 63. 9, 10.
• * 1.237

  Mat. 12. 45.
• * 1.238

  Esay 57. 17.
• * 1.239

  The second branch of Ex∣hortation in many particu∣lars.
• * 1.240

  Duty 1.
• * 1.241

  Selfe-deniall and trial what Gods minde is about our estate.
• * 1.242

  Mat. 16. 24.
• * 1.243

  1 Thes. 4. 4.
• * 1.244

  Mat. 21. 17.
• * 1.245

  All receive not this gift.
• * 1.246

  Mat. 19 12.
• * 1.247

  1 Cor. 7. 8.
• * 1.248

  1 Cor. 5. 5.
• * 1.249

  Continency being'a gift of God, must be sought for.
• * 1.250

  1 Cor. 7. 35.
• * 1.251

  No vowes of single life w••••∣ranted.
• * 1.252

  The second.
• * 1.253

  Sound judge∣ment, and sub∣duing of a re∣bellious heart.
• * 1.254

  Job 39. 9, 10.
• * 1.255

  1 Cor. 7. 38.
• * 1.256

  Luke 23. 21.
• * 1.257

  Duty 3.
• * 1.258

  Error of the time to be ab∣horred.
• * 1.259

  Grace must be prefer'd to we••l••th, in marriage.
• * 1.260

  1 Sam. 25. 18.
• * 1.261

  Good marri∣ages must be bought.
• * 1.262

  The fourth: pray hard for good marri∣age: pay and pray too.
• * 1.263

  Mat 15. 18.
• * 1.264

  Ezek. 36. end.
• * 1.265

  Ps. l. 37. 5.
• * 1.266

  1 Sam 1. 27.
• * 1.267

  Gen. 33. 5.
• * 1.268

  Tit. 1. 15.
• * 1.269

  1 Sam 25. 1.
• * 1.270

  Judg. 14. 3.
• * 1.271

  Duty 5.
• * 1.272

  Advice of the most judicious and impartiall friends requi∣site for good marriage.
• * 1.273

  Joh. 14. 14, 15.
• * 1.274

  1 Sam. 16. 6.
• * 1.275

  Duty 6.
• * 1.276

  Observing the sp••ttis of each other, meet for such as would marry in the Lord.
• * 1.277

  Job 34. 3.
• * 1.278

  Prov. 15. 22.
• * 1.279

  〈◊〉〈◊〉. 1. 5.
• * 1.280

  ••ob 32 8.
• * 1.281

  1 Cor. 2. 15.
• * 1.282

  Exod. 33. 6.
• * 1.283

  Rom. 12. 16.
• * 1.284

  Acts 15. 15.
• * 1.285

  Prov. 17. 24.
• * 1.286

  Esay 65 8.
• * 1.287

  Zach. 4. 10.
• * 1.288

  Conclusion of this second duty.
• * 1.289

  The man hath the leading hand, there∣fore ought to be wary.
• * 1.290

  Women wo∣ers threaten woe.
• * 1.291

  Touching marrying in the Lord: three questions answered.
• * 1.292

  1. Question answered.
• * 1.293

  Psal. 37 5.
• * 1.294

  1 Pet. 3. 15.
• * 1.295

  Psal. 37. 6.
• * 1.296

  2. Question answered.
• * 1.297

  1 Sam. 8. 5.
• * 1.298

  Act. 10. 34.
• * 1.299

  1 Cor 14. 33.
• * 1.300

  Gen •• ••.
• * 1.301

  Gen. 19. ••
• * 1.302

  The third du∣ty preparation betweene the contract and the marriage, necessary.
• * 1.303

  The second generall for en∣trance, is, to mairy aptly.
• * 1.304

  1 Cor. 7. 35.
• * 1.305

  Jugai••s.
• * 1.306

  Who are unapt
• * 1.307

  Exceptio••s a∣gainst the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 aptnesse, many
• * 1.308

  More excepti∣ons.
• * 1.309

  Phil. 4 8.
• * 1.310

  Psal. 131. 1.
• * 1.311

  Instruction. No cur••••si••y to mar••y aptly.
• * 1.312

  Ex••d. 8. 3.
• * 1.313

  Judg 21. 23.
• * 1.314

  Admonition against over∣weening our own strength, in unapt mar∣riage.
• * 1.315

  Terror to af∣fectors of un∣equall mat∣ches.
• * 1.316

  Reproofe.
• * 1.317

  Branch 1.
• * 1.318

  Corruption al∣way affects a contrariety to the Ordi∣nance.
• * 1.319

  Prov. 30. 23.
• * 1.320

  Branch 2.
• * 1.321

  Reprose.
• * 1.322

  Contemners of equall mar∣nage reproo∣ved.
• * 1.323

  Exportation.
• * 1.324

  Affecters of of unequall marriages learne to be wiser.
• * 1.325

  Rom. 12. 16.
• * 1.326

  1. Sam. 18. 23.
• * 1.327

  1. Sam. 25. 41.
• * 1.328

  Matt. 20. 22.
• * 1.329

  Branch 2.
• * 1.330

  Counsell to such as are al∣ready unaptly married.
• * 1.331

  Iam. 4. 10.
• * 1.332

  Occasion of this digressi∣on.
• * 1.333

  For handling of Consent of Parents, and a Contract.
• * 1.334

  Consent of Parents neces∣sary for marri∣age, and why?
• * 1.335

  Parents cannot doe as they would in mat∣ching of their children.
• * 1.336

  Guardians and governours are to looke to their orphans, as well as pa∣rents to chil∣dren, in point of marriage.
• * 1.337

  See these texts Deut. 7. 3.
• * 1.338

  Ier. 29 6.
• * 1.339

  Gen. 24. 3, 4.
• * 1.340

  Exod. 22. 16.
• * 1.341

  Iudg. 14. 3.
• * 1.342

  Verse 4, 5.
• * 1.343

  Gen. 21. 21.
• * 1.344

  Further proofe of the point.
• * 1.345

  Cornel. à Lap.
• * 1.346

  Terent. Andr. Scen. 3.
• * 1.347

  Confut.
• * 1.348

  Exceptions a∣gainst this ge∣nerall rule.
• * 1.349

  Exod. 22. 16.
• * 1.350

  Duty of pa∣rents towards children un∣wisely suffered to link them∣selves.
• * 1.351

  Num. 30. 4.
• * 1.352

  Another ex∣ception.
• * 1.353

  1 Cor. 6. 36.
• * 1.354

  Parents must observe the condition of their children.
• * 1.355

  Childrens ob∣jections a∣gainst parents carelesnesse in their marria∣ges, answered.
• * 1.356

  Counsell to such children.
• * 1.357

  Mal. 4. ult.
• * 1.358

  Parents obsti∣nate in con∣sent, to be curbed.
• * 1.359

  Matt. 8.
• * 1.360

  Mat. 16. 25.
• * 1.361

  Questions a∣bout Parents consent, an∣swered.
• * 1.362

  Reproofe.
• * 1.363

  Terror to all rebellious Children, who marry against their Parents consent.
• * 1.364

  Cavills of such Children an∣swered, as will be loose in du••ty to their Pa∣rents consent: yet will have their parents tyed to them, in meanes and maintenance.
• * 1.365

  Ioh. 9. 5.
• * 1.366

  Parents may be shy to diso∣bedient Chil∣dren, and why?
• * 1.367

  2. Sam. 14. 24.
• * 1.368

  Branch 2.
• * 1.369

  D••ssembled and forced consent of Pa∣rents by chil∣dren, is sin∣full.
• * 1.370

  Galat. 6. 4.
• * 1.371

  Rom. 12. 9.
• * 1.372

  Luc. 15. 12.
• * 1.373

  Matt. 7. 2.
• * 1.374

  Branch 3.
• * 1.375

  H••lfe consent of parents, or con••ent af••er their contract, is faulty.
• * 1.376

  Exhortation to marry with Consent of Parents.
• * 1.377

  1. Sam. 25.
• * 1.378

  Pro. 10.
• * 1.379

  Mica. 2.
• * 1.380

  Branch 2.
• * 1.381

  Dignity of pa∣rents.
• * 1.382

  Vse of reproof to them that ••eglect the care of their Children.
• * 1.383

  Parents must goe in a mid∣••le way be∣tweene ••••uste∣rity, and f••lly towards their Children.
• * 1.384

  B••se shifts and respects of Pa∣rents in disre∣gard of their Children.
• * 1.385

  A contrary ex∣treame of pa∣rents in over∣much love to Children.
• * 1.386

  The 1. deg••e••••
• * 1.387

  The 2. degree.
• * 1.388

  Abuses of Guardians and Gover∣nors of Or∣phans in this kind of neg∣lect sundrie waies.
• * 1.389

  Wofull fruite hereof.
• * 1.390

  Vse of exhor∣tation of pa∣rents to attend their Children in this great work.
• * 1.391

  Second digres∣sion to the point of Con∣tract.
• * 1.392

  Contract in what sense here used.
• * 1.393

  Promises of marriage, the root of a con∣tract.
• * 1.394

  To be very cautiously made, and t••eir pro∣perties.
• * 1.395

  Reall con∣tacts as good as verball.
• * 1.396

  What promise for marriage doth bind.
• * 1.397

  A mutual one.
• * 1.398

  A free or vo∣luntary one.
• * 1.399

  3. A plaine one without deceit.
• * 1.400

  What that is.
• * 1.401

  Admonition to all parties to beware of their marriage promises.
• * 1.402

  Ra••h and in∣considerate promises of marrage very foolish and sinfull.
• * 1.403

  Whether a Contract be essentiall to Marriage.
• * 1.404

  Contracts ve∣ry ancient, and of general use.
• * 1.405

  Iewish Con∣tracts what?
• * 1.406

  Iosh. 15. 16.
• * 1.407

  Action and performance of the Con∣tract ••ow to be done.
• * 1.408

  Rationall re∣spects in which a Contract may be used.
• * 1.409

  The 1.
• * 1.410

  Sutablenes to the weight of the thing.
• * 1.411

  The 2.
• * 1.412

  To prevent inconstancie.
• * 1.413

  Respect 3.
• * 1.414

  The benefit of the parties contracted.
• * 1.415

  Generall Touching questions.
• * 1.416

  Whether pub∣lication of contract be necessary.
• * 1.417

  What is to be thought of the marrying by a Minister.
• * 1.418

  Whether Co∣sen Germans may marry answered.
• * 1.419

  I make no quarrel, but o••ly shew my opinion, lea∣ving ••thers to themselves.
• * 1.420

  Wherin differss contractfrom marriage.
• * 1.421

  God is in a contract for good, and not evill: but in marriage whe∣ther good or evill.
• * 1.422

  One is better spoiled then 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.423

  Why a space is alotted, twixt contract and marriage.
• * 1.424

  What sp••ce is he most con∣ven••en••.
• * 1.425

  What if either party defile it selfe before marriage?
• * 1.426

  Of Reproofe, of all disdai∣ners of Con∣tracts.
• * 1.427

  Exhortation.
• * 1.428

  Contracted Couples prise your contract.
• * 1.429

  1. Sam. 13. 12.
• * 1.430

  Iob.
• * 1.431

  Heb. 13. 5.
• * 1.432

  Zach. 12. end. 1. Cor. 7.
• * 1.433

  Deut. 32. end.
• * 1.434

  Luc. 22.
• * 1.435

  G••lath. 6.
• * 1.436

  Councells in peciall for such.
• * 1.437

  The second generall pre∣servation of the honour of Marriage in the conversa∣tion of it.
• * 1.438

  2. Iohn 8.
• * 1.439

  Prov. 13.
• * 1.440

  Honour of marriage to be preserved, partly by the joint acts of both, and part∣ly by the seve∣rall acts of each party.
• * 1.441

  Joint acts of the married fowre.
• * 1.442

  Jointhes i•• worship a main preserva∣tive of hono∣rable marri∣age.
• * 1.443

  1. Sam. 25.
• * 1.444

  Reasons of join•• religion of couples.
• * 1.445

  G•••• is their mutuall God.
• * 1.446

  Because the grace of each furthers both.
• * 1.447

  They enjoy all things both good and bad in common.
• * 1.448

  Religon is the Cement of all fellowship.
• * 1.449

  From one in∣stance, viz. their necessity of joint trust in God.
• * 1.450

  Nothing hath such blessing annexed to it.
• * 1.451

  What if he one party will not joine with the other?
• * 1.452

  Reproofe.
• * 1.453

  Severalnesse of religion in the married sinful, if af∣••ected.
• * 1.454

  Branch 2.
• * 1.455

  Hindrers of each other in such joints re∣ligion, to be taxed.
• * 1.456

  Branch 3.
• * 1.457

  Such as dorest in each others religion, tax∣ed.
• * 1.458

  Married per∣sons who for∣sake their own fellowsh••p, and runne to strangers, faulty.
• * 1.459

  Cause or the unhappy and unprosperous state of many couples, is, want of mu∣tuall religion.
• * 1.460

  Exhortation to all good couples to be joint in their religion.
• * 1.461

  Both inward, as in faith, and the like.
• * 1.462

  Faith the prin∣cipall prop of the married.
• * 1.463

  Infinite mise∣ries of the married through the distrust of Gods provi∣dence.
• * 1.464

  Familie du∣ties, and pri∣vate worship, necessary for good couples to joine in closely.
• * 1.465

  Needfnll to use private worship.
• * 1.466

  Causes why it should be so.
• * 1.467

  Great benefit of pr••va••e j••••••t wo••sh••p.
• * 1.468

  Counsells a∣bout it.
• * 1.469

  Exhortation to private en∣••••••ourse with God.
• * 1.470

  The second joint office of the marryed, Conjugal love
• * 1.471

  Love ought to be jointly pre∣served, for the honor of Mar∣riage.
• * 1.472

  Not only bred by peculiar instinct.
• * 1.473

  But often∣t••ms by out∣ward occasi∣ons and mo∣tives.
• * 1.474

  Conjugall love a mixt aff••ction.
• * 1.475

  And how?
• * 1.476

  Reason of it.
• * 1.477

  Ephe. 5. 29.
• * 1.478

  Rom. 12. 20.
• * 1.479

  Ephe. 5. 25.
• * 1.480

  Tit. 2. 4 5.
• * 1.481

  Conjugall love, though a joint duty, to be carried in a severall way.
• * 1.482

  Psal. 134. 2.
• * 1.483

  Tit. 2. 4.
• * 1.484

  Ephe 5. 22. 24.
• * 1.485

  What that way is.
• * 1.486

  Reproofe.
• * 1.487

  Branch 1.
• * 1.488

  Forced and lovelesse matches dan∣gerous.
• * 1.489

  And in what respects.
• * 1.490

  Reproofe.
• * 1.491

  Branch 2.
• * 1.492

  Love will not nourish selfe, but must be nourished day∣ly between couples.
• * 1.493

  By what mea∣nes love may be nourisht.
• * 1.494

  Gen. 20. 16.
• * 1.495

  Admonition to the joint practise of con¦jugall love.
• * 1.496

  Pro. 23. 29. 30.
• * 1.497

  4. Iames: 1.
• * 1.498

  Danger of brea••h of con∣jugall love is sad.
• * 1.499

  2. King. 7. 4.
• * 1.500

  Iudg. 18. 23. 24.
• * 1.501

  Exhertation to couples, to love joinly.
• * 1.502

  John. 21. 15.
• * 1.503

  John. 14. 15
• * 1.504

  John. 15. 12.
• * 1.505

  2. Gen. 23.
• * 1.506

  Motives to thehu•• band to love his wife.
• * 1.507

  1 Tim. 2. 15.
• * 1.508

  1 Sam. 25. 39.
• * 1.509

  Motives to the wife to love him.
• * 1.510

  2 Sam. 12. 3.
• * 1.511

  Thirde mutu•• all duty of the marryed, Chastity.
• * 1.512

  Chastity the m••yn joint duty of the Married.
• * 1.513

  Proofes of it.
• * 1.514

  Math 196.
• * 1.515

  Mal. 2. 15.
• * 1.516

  2. Cor. 7. 2.
• * 1.517

  1. Tim. 3. 2.
• * 1.518

  1. Thes. 4. 4.
• * 1.519

  1. Cor. 3. 16. 17.
• * 1.520

  D••ut. 21. 14.
• * 1.521

  Gen 49. 4.
• * 1.522

  Pro. 6. 33.
• * 1.523

  Iudg. 11. 3. 4.
• * 1.524

  Iudg. 16. 21.
• * 1.525

  Amplification of this Truth.
• * 1.526

  Levit. 14 44. 45.
• * 1.527

  Chastity the mayne support of union.
• * 1.528

  The defile∣ment of each party, is enough to defile the whole state of marriage.
• * 1.529

  God hath or∣deined one for one.
• * 1.530

  It covers all o∣ther defects.
• * 1.531

  But it selfe can be covered by no endow∣ments.
• * 1.532

  Its the corner stone, which holds in the whole building.
• * 1.533

  1 Sam. 18. 28.
• * 1.534

  ••e••••use in somerespects it makes marri∣ag Honorable.
• * 1.535

  12 ps. 3. 8. 1.
• * 1.536

  Fruitfulnesse of wombe.
• * 1.537

  Numb. 5. 21.
• * 1.538

  Isai. 56. 4.
• * 1.539

  2 Respect.
• * 1.540

  Blessing of 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.541

  Gen. 21. 10.
• * 1.542

  3. The curse of si•• turned to blessing by Chastity.
• * 1.543

  13. Levit. 49.
• * 1.544

  Tit. 1 15.
• * 1.545

  Luc. 11. 41.
• * 1.546

  How Chastity may be preser∣ved.
• * 1.547

  4. wayes.
• * 1.548

  1. The spirit.
• * 1.549

  2. Prevention.
• * 1.550

  3. Bedd.
• * 1.551

  4. Body.
• * 1.552

  Math. 12. 24.
• * 1.553

  Pro. 2••. 26.
• * 1.554

  The. 1.
• * 1.555

  Chast••••y of spirit must be kept, against Contemplati∣ve uncleannes.
• * 1.556

  Why so need∣full.
• * 1.557

  The. 2.
• * 1.558

  Chastity of prevention necessary.
• * 1.559

  What is?
• * 1.560

  2. Sam. 11. 2.
• * 1.561

  Gen. 34. 1.
• * 1.562

  Why this is here urg••d?
• * 1.563

  2 Cor. 12. 7.
• * 1.564

  Iob. 31. 1.
• * 1.565

  1 Cor. 9. 7.
• * 1.566

  The third, chastity of the bed.
• * 1.567

  Two extremes here.
• * 1.568

  The first.
• * 1.569

  1 Cor. 7. 3.
• * 1.570

  The second.
• * 1.571

  Levit. 20. 18.
• * 1.572

  Gen. 26. 8.
• * 1.573

  Heathens shame us Christians in this.
• * 1.574

  Markes to know the mo∣deration of the bed.
• * 1.575

  Popish forced chastity.
• * 1.576

  And affected Abstinence from the be∣nefit of the Bed compared.
• * 1.577

  Inconvēsence of both un∣just abstinence and excesse of liberty compa∣red.
• * 1.578

  The fourth & last head of the mutuall duty, is the Chastity of Body.
• * 1.579

  Gen. 39. 8.
• * 1.580

  Exhortation to the duty of Chastity.
• * 1.581

  Pro. 5. 〈◊〉〈◊〉. and 9.
• * 1.582

  Against base and unjust jea∣lousie it is most odious.
• * 1.583

  Pro. 31. 11.
• * 1.584

  Remedy of the innocent party.
• * 1.585

  The fourth generall and joint duty of the married consent.
• * 1.586

  Branch 1.
• * 1.587

  Experience of such as want it.
• * 1.588

  Prov. 13. 12.
• * 1.589

  Branch 2.
• * 1.590

  The experi∣ence of such as enjoy it shew it to be worth the pre∣serving joint∣ly.
• * 1.591

  Th price of this Iewell in her nature, deserves the carefull im∣prooving of it.
• * 1.592

  The praise of Consent.
• * 1.593

  Consent h••th a Divine in∣stinct in it.
• * 1.594

  Psal. 133. 23.
• * 1.595

  Consent brings God into the mar∣ried.
• * 1.596

  12. Math. 26.
• * 1.597

  2. Cor 6. 15.
• * 1.598

  A question Answered, Wherin Con∣sent stands.
• * 1.599

  In 3. ••h••••gs.
• * 1.600

  1 In consent of heart as cheefe Ezek. 1. 19.
• * 1.601

  2 Consent in speech, neces∣sary for the married.
• * 1.602

  2. Kings 3. 7.
• * 1.603

  Pro. 27. 19.
• * 1.604

  3 Consent in common life and occasions of it.
• * 1.605

  2. Sam. 3. 36.
• * 1.606

  Reproofe.
• * 1.607

  Vulgar guise of mar••yed ones, rude and rusticall.
• * 1.608

  The Dissenti∣ons of religi¦ous Couples, the shame of profession.
• * 1.609

  Amos. 3. 3.
• * 1.610

  Pro. 26. 19.
• * 1.611

  Hum••liation to all faulty couples.
• * 1.612

  Prov. 20. 3.
• * 1.613

  The duty urged.
• * 1.614

  Luk. 6. 27. 28. 29.
• * 1.615

  Admonition.
• * 1.616

  1. Bee not too co••fi••ent of your selves in a tempt of marriage.
• * 1.617

  2 King 8. 13.
• * 1.618

  ••er. 31. 18. 19.
• * 1.619

  Caveat 2.
• * 1.620

  P••••y for this ••weet g••ft of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 & A••••ablenesse.
• * 1.621

  Phil. 4.
• * 1.622

  Lu••. 22. 19.
• * 1.623

  Caveat 3.
• * 1.624

  Put on the Lord Iesus his meeknesse.
• * 1.625

  R••m. 12. end.
• * 1.626

  Coloss 3.
• * 1.627

  Mark. 4 39.
• * 1.628

  1. Sam. 4. 5.
• * 1.629

  Iob. 1. 19.
• * 1.630

  1. King. 18. 44.
• * 1.631

  Caveat 4.
• * 1.632

  Renounce not God to use Carnall shifts.
• * 1.633

  Caveat 5.
• * 1.634

  Keepe each party the bounds of his place.
• * 1.635

  Caveat 6.
• * 1.636

  Bee prepared for the har∣dest, before.
• * 1.637

  1 Sam. 25.
• * 1.638

  Exhortation to the married to use cordiall Consent.
• * 1.639

  What is to be done by both after a dif∣ference, even to repent and be humbl••d.
• * 1.640

  Iudg. 9. 9. 13.
• * 1.641

  1. King, 6. 7.
• * 1.642

  Esay. 42. 3. 4.
• * 1.643

  M••th. 18. 7.
• * 1.644

  Exod. 8. 3.
• * 1.645

  Philip. 4. 7.
• * 1.646

  Conclusion of this mayne du••y.
• * 1.647

  Coherence of the points.
• * 1.648

  First Peculiar duty of the husband to be a man of un∣derstanding.
• * 1.649

  With this is?
• * 1.650

  1. Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.651

  Particulars wherin it con∣sists.
• * 1.652

  First in what it consists not.
• * 1.653

  Dan. 4 30.
• * 1.654

  Not in an high spirit.
• * 1.655

  Pro. 17 27.
• * 1.656

  Tim. 1. 3. 5.
• * 1.657

  Not in a rash self willednesse Ioh. 19. 22.
• * 1.658

  Psal. 12. 4.
• * 1.659

  To know but not practise.
• * 1.660

  Not to give way to good Counsell, but no following it.
• * 1.661

  Nor to give Counsell to e∣th••r, and not to himselfe.
• * 1.662

  Second branch what is to bee a man of un∣derstanding.
• * 1.663

  1 King. 3. 7. 9.
• * 1.664

  To renounce our owne un∣derstanding.
• * 1.665

  Pro. 30. 2.
• * 1.666

  1. Sam. 18. 18.
• * 1.667

  1. Sam. 25 41.
• * 1.668

  To be first Subject to God, and so ••••∣govern others.
• * 1.669

  Matth. 8. 9.
• * 1.670

  The third.
• * 1.671

  To be more sensible of a burden then of an honor.
• * 1.672

  To be qualified with a Spirit of all sorts, as oc∣casion requires
• * 1.673

  Particulars of this generall, two.
• * 1.674

  It appears in matters of God.
• * 1.675

  Instances wherein.
• * 1.676

  Cant. 8 3.
• * 1.677

  The back∣wardnesse of most husbands in this kynd.
• * 1.678

  Vnderstan∣ding in mat∣ters outward requisite for the man.
• * 1.679

  Reproofe.
• * 1.680

  Husbands not walking as mē of understan∣ding to be blamed.
• * 1.681

  Pro. ••4 31.
• * 1.682

  Terror.
• * 1.683

  Husbands who cannot guide themselves worse.
• * 1.684

  Instruction.
• * 1.685

  Many waves justly stumble at the folly of their husbands.
• * 1.686

  1. Cor. 11. 14.
• * 1.687

  Passages of folly in hus∣bands.
• * 1.688

  Instance.
• * 1.689

  Instance,
• * 1.690

  Instance.
• * 1.691

  Instance.
• * 1.692

  Conclusion with exhorta∣tion to hus∣bands to bee men of under∣standing.
• * 1.693

  Cohabitation of the man with the wife necessary.
• * 1.694

  1 Cor. 7 10.
• * 1.695

  Humiliation to all that re∣fuse to coha∣bite.
• * 1.696

  Reproach of Seperaters.
• * 1.697

  Ruth. 1. 16.
• * 1.698

  Second sever∣all duty of the Husband, Pro∣vidence.
• * 1.699

  Eccles. 2. 26.
• * 1.700

  Iob. 5. 7.
• * 1.701

  Math. 6. 25. 26
• * 1.702

  1. Tim. 5. 8.
• * 1.703

  Prov. 27. 23.
• * 1.704

  1. Cor. 7. 33.
• * 1.705

  Reason of it in generall, he honors his marriage by 〈◊〉〈◊〉 and how?
• * 1.706

  Ephes 3. 15.
• * 1.707

  In what con∣sists it?
• * 1.708

  First in the through skill in the Trade of his way.
• * 1.709

  Prov. 6. 6.
• * 1.710

  Shunning un∣lawfull trades.
• * 1.711

  He must get wisedome & insight, not scorning them that can direct
• * 1.712

  Curiosity in trades must be abhorred.
• * 1.713

  There must be a stocke lesse or more to oc∣cupie.
• * 1.714

  Iob. 7. 8.
• * 1.715

  Application of himselfe to his Object, with diligence
• * 1.716

  Prov. 10. 4.
• * 1.717

  Rules for dili∣gent improve∣ment.
• * 1.718

  Prov. 16 3.
• * 1.719

  Begin it with God.
• * 1.720

  Psal. 127. 1.
• * 1.721

  Esay. 30. 7.
• * 1.722

  Rule 2.
• * 1.723

  Yet destroy not thine owne.
• * 1.724

  Prov. 1. 32.
• * 1.725

  Prov. 18 9.
• * 1.726

  Rule 3.
• * 1.727

  B••wa••e of p••king quar∣eis with thy Calling.
• * 1.728

  Rule 4.
• * 1.729

  Subjection to God in a Cal¦ling.
• * 1.730

  Deut. 33. 8. 9. 10.
• * 1.731

  1. Tim. 2, 15.
• * 1.732

  Prov.
• * 1.733

  Rule. 5.
• * 1.734

  Ayme not at b••arding up, ••r multiplying t••y estate.
• * 1.735

  Rule 6.
• * 1.736

  Serve God with thy en∣crease.
• * 1.737

  Psal. 16. 2. 3.
• * 1.738

  Eccles. 11. 1.
• * 1.739

  Rule 7.
• * 1.740

  T••ke losses as well as gaynes patiently and contentedly.
• * 1.741

  Iob. 42. 10.
• * 1.742

  Rule 8.
• * 1.743

  Be jo••full in all thy labor u••der the sun.
• * 1.744

  P••o•• 5. 18.
• * 1.745

  Iob. 31. 27.
• * 1.746

  Deut. 26.
• * 1.747

  Luke. 1. 46. 47.
• * 1.748

  Heb. 3. 17.
• * 1.749

  Reproofe.
• * 1.750

  Branch.
• * 1.751

  Carelesse de∣serters of their wives, odious.
• * 1.752

  Branch.
• * 1.753

  Neglecters of learning their Trade.
• * 1.754

  Lyvers upon their usury odious.
• * 1.755

  Improvidence under color of Religion vicious.
• * 1.756

  Branch 4.
• * 1.757

  〈◊〉〈◊〉 ••••ing courses disho¦nor marriage.
• * 1.758

  Yong heires, w••••stfull, over∣throwing their Marriages.
• * 1.759

  Digression ad∣mon tory to Parents.
• * 1.760

  Branch 2.
• * 1.761

  Vndiscreet borrowings, overstockings, u••dersellings, bad husban∣dry.
• * 1.762

  Branch. 7.
• * 1.763

  Ingrossing many farms at once.
• * 1.764

  Branch. 8.
• * 1.765

  Changing of Callings.
• * 1.766

  In what re∣spects a man may change or divert from his calling.
• * 1.767

  Branch. 9.
• * 1.768

  Unsubjection to the Rule of Providence.
• * 1.769

  Exhortation.
• * 1.770

  The 3. particu∣lar duty of the husband, re∣spectivenesse.
• * 1.771

  Gen. 2. 23.
• * 1.772

  The opening of the point at large.
• * 1.773

  Eph. 5. 18. 29.
• * 1.774

  Union the roote of this tendernesse.
• * 1.775

  1 Pet. 3. 7.
• * 1.776

  Nothing gay∣ned by Auste∣rity.
• * 1.777

  Wise folks willingly beare with fooles.
• * 1.778

  God his Com∣mandement.
• * 1.779

  Wee owe it to Christians.
• * 1.780

  Wherin this honor and re∣spectivenesse consists?
• * 1.781

  Ephes 5.
• * 1.782

  The true Mo∣dell and role of tend••r∣nesse, is the tendernesse of Christo his Church.
• * 1.783

  Particulars of the husbands Tendernes.
• * 1.784

  Branch 1.
• * 1.785

  Tendernes to the soule of the wife the first duty of the husband.
• * 1.786

  Isa. 62. 4.
• * 1.787

  2. Sam. 13. 3.
• * 1.788

  Branch. 2.
• * 1.789

  Tendernes to the Person of the Wife ne∣cessary.
• * 1.790

  In protection.
• * 1.791

  In her repute.
• * 1.792

  In her bodily in firmities.
• * 1.793

  2. King. 4. 21.
• * 1.794

  Vnnaturall husbands lan∣guage.
• * 1.795

  Ruth. 3. 9.
• * 1.796

  Cant. 2. 7.
• * 1.797

  Description of the husbands tendernes to the person of his wife.
• * 1.798

  Two extremes of Tenderns.
• * 1.799

  Viz, Roughnes Vxoriousnes.
• * 1.800

  Branch 3.
• * 1.801

  Ingenuity and openhearted∣nesse.
• * 1.802

  Josh. 6. 8.
• * 1.803

  2. Sam. 20. 18.
• * 1.804

  Branch 4.
• * 1.805

  Comfort in heavinesse a∣nother peece of tendernesse.
• * 1.806

  Iob. 33 24.
• * 1.807

  Branch. 5.
• * 1.808

  Spare her from excesse of toyl▪
• * 1.809

  Branch 6.
• * 1.810

  Indugence in all lawfull refreshings.
• * 1.811

  Branch 7.
• * 1.812

  Connivance at invincible infirmities.
• * 1.813

  Branch 8.
• * 1.814

  Commend her vertues.
• * 1.815

  Branch 9.
• * 1.816

  Supply of ne∣cessaries and comfortable supports.
• * 1.817

  Branch. 10.
• * 1.818

  Respective∣nesse must be the Counsel∣lor.
• * 1.819

  Terror to all base Nabals, and a descrip∣tion of such.
• * 1.820

  Counsell to the w••ongd party.
• * 1.821

  The speciall duties of the wife to the husband three
• * 1.822

  The first Du∣ty of the wife, Subjection.
• * 1.823

  The first Duty of the wife, Subjection.
• * 1.824

  Ester. 1. 24.
• * 1.825

  1 Cor. 11. 8. 9.
• * 1.826

  Mal. 2. 15.
• * 1.827

  From the pe∣nalty of diso∣bedience.
• * 1.828

  Gen. 3. 16.
• * 1.829

  roofes.
• * 1.830

  1 Tim. 2. 13.
• * 1.831

  1 Cor. 11. 7.
• * 1.832

  1 Pet. 3. 1.
• * 1.833

  Ephes. 5. 21.
• * 1.834

  1 Pet. 3. 5. 6.
• * 1.835

  Ca••ech. in part. 1. and 3. arti∣cle.
• * 1.836

  Colos. 1. ••0.
• * 1.837

  Hos. 2. 21. 2••.
• * 1.838

  He hath recol∣lected all things both in heaven and earth by Christ.
• * 1.839

  Col. 1. 20.
• * 1.840

  Pet 3. 4.
• * 1.841

  Hereby she preserves the honor of her marriage.
• * 1.842

  Ruth. 3. 11.
• * 1.843

  Subjection what it is?
• * 1.844

  Subjection two-fold.
• * 1.845

  1. Pet. 3 4.
• * 1.846

  Of the spirit.
• * 1.847

  2. Sam. 6. 20.
• * 1.848

  Husbands though but meanlye par∣ted, deserve subjection by the Ordi∣nance.
• * 1.849

  Exceptions in some cases a∣gainst the wo∣mans sub∣jection.
• * 1.850

  In case of un¦lawfull com∣mands.
• * 1.851

  1. Pet. 3••. 2.
• * 1.852

  Further quali∣fication of the womans Sub∣jection.
• * 1.853

  In prompting the husband with Religions Counsell.
• * 1.854

  In cases of dif∣ficulty and hazard.
• * 1.855

  Branch 2d
• * 1.856

  Subjection of practice wher∣in three par∣ticulars.
• * 1.857

  The 1.
• * 1.858

  In matters of God.
• * 1.859

  1 Tim. 2. 11. ••2.
• * 1.860

  How far the wife may un∣dertake the service of God in her family.
• * 1.861

  Y••t with Cautions.
• * 1.862

  Caution. 1.
• * 1.863

  Women deni∣ed this liber∣tie must be pacient.
• * 1.864

  Exod. 21. 6.
• * 1.865

  2. Branch
• * 1.866

  Of practice.
• * 1.867

  Matter of the world.
• * 1.868

  Limitations of subjection in worldly things.
• * 1.869

  Prov. 31.
• * 1.870

  May the wo∣man of her selfe give to Charitable uses?
• * 1.871

  Ordinarily she may not. But in some cases she may.
• * 1.872

  In publique miseries of the Church
• * 1.873

  Decision of the doubt.
• * 1.874

  3. Branch Her subj••ction in marriage converse ma∣nifold.
• * 1.875

  In Attyre.
• * 1.876

  1. Pet. 3. 3.
• * 1.877

  In gesture and composition of body.
• * 1.878

  Domesticall Converse must be subject.
• * 1.879

  Rom. 12.
• * 1.880

  Matt. 11. 30.
• * 1.881

  Shee must hee subject abroad
• * 1.882

  In her tongue and Company Subject.
• * 1.883

  ••. In point of Nur••ery.
• * 1.884

  Ruth. 4. 16.
• * 1.885

  Admonition. Shun Rebel. Iron.
• * 1.886

  Exod. 4. 25.
• * 1.887

  1. Cor 7 10.
• * 1.888

  Exhortation of wyves to subjection.
• * 1.889

  The second speciall Duty of the wife helpfulnesse.
• * 1.890

  Gen. 2. 18.
• * 1.891

  Wherein stands this vertue of helpfulnesse.
• * 1.892

  In 3 Branches
• * 1.893

  In Gods mat∣ters.
• * 1.894

  Impudency of usurping wo∣men in mat∣ters of God, eaxed.
• * 1.895

  Joel 2. 28.
• * 1.896

  Admonition, to all usurping women in matters of God.
• * 1.897

  Conditions of modest wives in act••ng of Gods matters.
• * 1.898

  Judg. 13. 23.
• * 1.899

  Sam 1. 25.
• * 1.900

  2. Generall.
• * 1.901

  Helpfulnesse in matter of estate descri∣bed.
• * 1.902

  Prov. 31.
• * 1.903

  Wives must not have any peculiar wealth apart from their husbands, but in common.
• * 1.904

  1. Tim. 3, 1. 2.
• * 1.905

  If they desire any stroake in dispensing the matters of the husband they must deserve it by good carri∣age.
• * 1.906

  Three bran∣ches of wo∣mans provi∣dence.
• * 1.907

  Act of Provi∣dence to bring somewhat in.
• * 1.908

  Pro. 31.
• * 1.909

  Women must bee their hus∣bands storers and Treasu∣rers.
• * 1.910

  Matt. 13. ••2.
• * 1.911

  Is her Dispen∣sing.
• * 1.912

  Provident wives right hand must not know what their left doth.
• * 1.913

  ••. King 3.
• * 1.914

  Act. 19. 35.
• * 1.915

  Admonition to the wife against this.
• * 1.916

  Evill.
• * 1.917

  Eccles. 7.
• * 1.918

  Branch. 3
• * 1.919

  Of the wo¦mans provi∣dence, in the conjugall life.
• * 1.920

  It stands in sundry par∣ticulars.
• * 1.921

  To his person.
• * 1.922

  Soule.
• * 1.923

  Iob 2 9.
• * 1.924

  Act. 5. 5.
• * 1.925

  1 Kings 18.
• * 1.926

  To his health of body.
• * 1.927

  His good Name.
• * 1.928

  His family.
• * 1.929

  In al difficul∣ties.
• * 1.930

  Bearing hard∣ship.
• * 1.931

  Reproofe.
• * 1.932

  What kind of helpers wast∣full wyves are.
• * 1.933

  Ex••••rtation.
• * 1.934

  Encourage∣ment to help∣full wives.
• * 1.935

  The third pe∣culiar duty of the wife, gracefulnesse.
• * 1.936

  W••v••s must be gra••••ous and gracefull.
• * 1.937

  What grace∣fulnesse is.
• * 1.938

  Two things in this.
• * 1.939

  Matter of it, Grace.
• * 1.940

  Humility.
• * 1.941

  1 Pet. 3. 4.
• * 1.942

  Selfe deniall.
• * 1.943

  Iudges 4. 21.
• * 1.944

  Faith
• * 1.945

  For the truth of it.
• * 1.946

  2. Pet. 1. 2.
• * 1.947

  2. The••••. 3. 2.
• * 1.948

  For the life of ••t.
• * 1.949

  Esai. 63. 3.
• * 1.950

  Heb. 11.
• * 1.951

  Grace. Innocency.
• * 1.952

  Zeale and prety.
• * 1.953

  1 King. 17. 9.
• * 1.954

  Luke 8. 3.
• * 1.955

  Mens hearts not generally so tendet and zealous as womens, if they be right.
• * 1.956

  Grace: Mer∣cy and Com∣passion.
• * 1.957

  Math. 25. 36.
• * 1.958

  Act. 9. ••6.
• * 1.959

  Confidence with others.
• * 1.960

  1. Pet. 3. 5, 6.
• * 1.961

  Forme is tem∣perature of them.
• * 1.962

  Is, the sweete union of all into one com∣pound.
• * 1.963

  Act. 22. 28.
• * 1.964

  Vse of this point.
• * 1.965

  Instruction.
• * 1.966

  D••fference of Couples wher∣in it stands.
• * 1.967

  Cant.
• * 1.968

  What a bad gracelesse wife is.
• * 1.969

  Admonition.
• * 1.970

  Gracefull wives must ex∣p••esse it to then hus∣bands.
• * 1.971

  Husbands that are happy in the grace of the••r wives, must returne the like.
• * 1.972

  Generall uses of the whole greatise.
• * 1.973

  Reproofe and Admonition to good Cou∣ples.
• * 1.974

  Branch 1.
• * 1.975

  Look out and compare your lot with others.
• * 1.976

  Condole the unhappines of others.
• * 1.977

  R. R. of I. K.
• * 1.978

  And bee h••m∣b••••d.
• * 1.979

  Ioh 21. 18.
• * 1.980

  Guide others to good Choice.
• * 1.981

  2. King. 7.
• * 1.982

  Branch 4.
• * 1.983

  Exhortation to live, love, and leave.
• * 1.984

  1 Cor. 7. 21.
• * 1.985

  Eccles. 2. 5.
• * 1.986

  Instruction.
• * 1.987

  Marriage is a shadow of that spirituall un ō of Christ and the Church.
• * 1.988

  In their mee∣tings and marriage.
• * 1.989

  And how,
• * 1.990

  Their mutual Converse.
• * 1.991

  What Christis ••o the Church
• * 1.992

  What shee is to him.
• * 1.993

  Conclusion of the Treatise.