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Dear SAVILE,
DO a Charity becoming one of your pious Principles, in preserving your humble Servant Rochester, from the imminent Peril of Sobriety; which, for want of good Wine, more
than Company, (for I can drink like a Hermit betwixt God and my own Con∣science) is very like to befal me: Re∣member what Pains I have formerly ta∣ken to wean you from your pernicious Reso∣lutions of Discretion and Wisdom! And, if you have a grateful Heart, (which is a Miracle amongst you Statesmen) shew it, by directing the Bearer to the best Wine in Town; and pray let not this highest Point of Sacred Friendship be per∣form'd slightly, but go about it with all due deliberation and care, as holy Priests to Sacrifice, or as discreet Thieves to the wary performance of Burglary and Shop-lifting. Let your well-discerning Pallat (the best Judge about you) travel from Cellar to Cellar, and then from Piece to Piece, till it has lighted on Wine sit for its noble Choice and my Approbation. To engage you the more in this matter, know, I have laid a Plot may very probably betray you to the Drinking of it. My Lord — will inform you at large.
Dear Savile! as ever thou dost hope to out-do MACHIAVEL, or equal ME, send some good Wine! So may thy wearied
Soul at last find Rest, no longer hov'ring 'twixt th' unequal Choice of Politicks and Lewdness! Maist thou be admir'd and lov'd for thy domestick Wit; belov'd and cherish'd for thy foreign Interest and In∣telligence.
ROCHESTER.
HARRY,
YOU cannot shake off the States∣man intirely; for, I perceive, you have no Opinion of a Letter, that is not almost a Gazette: Now, to me, who think the World as giddy as my self, I care not which way it turns, and am fond of no News, but the Pro∣sperity of my Friends, and the Con∣tinuance of their Kindness to me, which is the only Error I wish to continue in 'em: For my own part, I am not at all stung with my Lord M—'s mean Ambition, but I aspire to my Lord L—'s generous Philosophy: They who would be great in our little Government, seem as ridiculous to me as School-boys, who, with much en∣deavour, and some danger, climb a Crab-tree, venturing their Necks for Fruit, which solid Pigs would disdain, if they
were not starving. These Reflections, how idle soever they seem to the Bu∣sie, if taken into consideration, would save you many a weary Step in the Day, and help G—y to many an Hours sleep, which he wants in the Night: But G—y would be rich; and, by my troth, there is some sence in that: Pray remember me to him, and tell him, I wish him many Mil∣lions, that his Soul may find rest. You write me word, That I'm out of fa∣vour with a certain Poet, whom I have ever admir'd, for the disproportion of him and his Attributes: He is a Rari••y which I cannot but be fond of, as one would be of a Hog that could fiddle, or a singing Owl. If he falls upon me at the Blunt, which is his very good Wea∣pon in Wit, I will forgive him, if you please, and leave the Repartee to Black Will, with a Cudgel. And now, Dear Harry, if it may agree with your Affairs, to shew yourself in the Country this Summer, contrive such a Crew toge∣ther, as may not be asham'd of passing by Woodstock; and, if you can debauch Alderman G—y, we will make a shift to delight his Gravity. I am sorry for
the declining D—ss, and would have you generous to her at this time; for that is true Pride, and I delight in it.
ROCHESTER.
Dear SAVILE,
THIS Day I receiv'd the unhappy News of my own Death and Bu∣rial. But, hearing what Heirs and Successors were decreed me in my Place, and chiefly in my Lodgings, it was no small Joy to me, that those Tydings prove untrue; my Passion for Living, is so encreas'd, that I omit no Care of myself; which, before, I never thought Life worth the trouble of taking. The King, who knows me to be a very ill-natur'd Man, will not think it an ••asie matter for me to die, now I live chie∣fly out of spight. Dear Mr. Savile, af∣ford me some News from your Land of the Living; and though I have little Curiosity to hear who's well, yet I would be glad my few Friends are so, of whom you are no more the least than the lean∣est. I have better Compliments for you,
but that may not look so sincere as I would have you believe I am, when I profess myself, Your faithful, affectionate, humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
Adderbury, near Banbury, Feb.ult
My Service to my Lord Middlesex.
HARRY,
I Am in a great straight what to write to you; the stile of Business I am not vers'd in, and you may have forgot, the familiar one we us'd hereto∣fore. What Alterations Ministry makes in Men, is not to be imagined; though I can trust with confidence all those You are liable to, so well I know you, and so perfectly I love you. We are in such a setled Happiness, and such merry Secu∣rity in this place, that, if it were not for Sickness, I could pass my time very well, between my own Ill-nature, which inclines me very little to pity the Mis∣fortunes of malicious mistaken Fools, and the Policies of the Times, which expose new Rarities of that kind every day. The News I have to send, and the sort alone which could be so to you, are things Gyaris & carcere digna; which I
dare not trust to this pretty Fool, the Bea∣rer, whom I heartily recommend to your Favour and Protection, and whose Qua∣lities will recommend him more; and truly, if it might suit with your Chara∣cter, at your times of leisure, to Mr. Bap∣tists's Acquaintance, the happy Conse∣quence would be Singing, and in which your Excellence might have a share not unworthy the greatest Embassadors, nor to be despis'd even by a Cardinal-Legate; the greatest and gravest of this Court of both Sexes have ta••ted his Beauties; and, I'll assure you, Rome gains upon us here, in this Point mainly; and there is no part of the Plot carried with so much Secresie and Vi∣gour as this. Proselytes, of consequence, are daily made, and my Lord S—'s Im∣prisonment is no check to any. An account of Mr. George Porter's Retirement, upon News that Mr. Grimes, with one Gentle∣man more, had invaded England, Mr. S—'s Apology, for making Songs on the Duke of M. with his Oration-Consolatory on my Lady D—'s Death, and a Politick Dis∣sertation between my Lady P—s and Capt. Dangerfield, with many other wor∣thy Treatises of the like nature, are things worthy your perusal; but I durst not
send 'em to you without leave, not know∣ing what Consequence it might draw up∣on your Circumstances and Character; but if they will admit a Correspondence of that kind, in which alone I dare presume to think myself capable, I shall be very in∣dustrious in that way, or any other, to keep you from forgetting,
Your most affectionate, obliged, humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
White-hall, Nov. 1. 79.
Dear SAVILE,
WEre I as Idle as ever, which I shou'd not fail of being, if Health per∣mitted; I wou'd write a small Romance, and make the Sun with his dishrievel'd Rays guild the Tops of the Palaces in Lea∣ther-lane: Then shou'd those vile En∣chanters Barten aud Ginman, lead forth their Illustrious Captives in Chains of Quicksilver, and confining 'em by Charms to the loathsome Banks of a dead Lake of Diet-drink; you, as my Friend, shou'd break the horrid Silence, and speak the most passionate fine things that ever He∣roick Lover utter'd; which being softly and sweetly reply'd to by Mrs. Roberts, shou'd rudely be interrupted by the envi∣ous F—. Thus wou'd I lead the mournful Tale along, till the gentle Rea∣der bath'd with the Tribute of his Eyes, the Names of such unfortunate Lovers—
And this (I take it) wou'd be a most excellent way of celebrating the Memo∣ries of my most Pockey Friends, Compa∣nions and Mistresses. But it is a miracu∣lous thing (as the Wise have it) when a Man, half in the Grave, cannot leave off playing the Fool, and the Buffoon; but so it falls out to my Comfort: For at this Moment I am in a damn'd Relapse, brought by a Feaver, the Stone, and some ten Diseases more, which have depriv'd me of the Power of crawling, which I happi∣ly enjoy'd some Days ago; and now I fear, I must fall, that it may be fulfilled which was long since written for Instru∣ction in a good old Ballad,
But he who lives not Wise and Sober, Falls with the Leaf still in October.About which time, in all probability, there may be a period added to the ridiculous being of
Your humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
Dear SAVILE,
IN my return from New-market, I met your Packet, and truly was not more surprized at the Indirectness of Mr. P.'s Proceeding, than overjoy'd at the Kindness and Care of yours. Mi∣sery makes all Men less or more dishonest; and I am not astonish'd to see Villany industrious for Bread; especially, living in a place where it is often so de gayete de Coeur. I believe, the Fellow thought of this Device to get some Money, or else he is put upon it by Some-body, who has given it him already; but I give him leave to prove what he can a∣gainst me: However, I will search into the Matter, and give you a fur∣ther account within a Post or two. In the mean time you have made my Heart glad in giving me such a Proof of your Friendship; and I am now
sensible, that it is natural for you to be kind to me, and can never more de∣spair of it.
I am your faithful, oblig'd, humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
Bishop-Stafford, Apr. 5. 80.
Dear SAVILE,
'TIS neither Pride or Neglect (for I am not of the new Council, and I love you sincerely) but Idleness on one side, and not knowing what to say on the other, has hindred me from Writing to you, af∣ter so kind a Letter, and the Present you sent me, for which I return you at last my humble Thanks. Changes in this place are so frequent, that F— himself can now no longer give an account, why this was done to Day, or what will ensue to Morrow; and Accidents are so extrava∣gant, that my Lord W— intending to Lie, has, with a Prophetick Spirit, once told truth. Every Man in this Court thinks he stands fair for Minister; some give it
to Shaftsbury, others to Hallifax; but Mr. Waller says S— does all; I am sure my Lord A— does little, which your Excellence will easily believe. And now the War in Scotland takes up all the Discourse of Politick Persons. His Grace of Lauderdale values himself upon the Rebellion, and tells the King, It is very auspicious and advantageous to the drift of the present Councils: The rest of the Scots, and especially D. H— are very in∣quisitive after News from Scotland, and really make a handsome Figure in this Conjuncture at London. What the D. of Monmouth will effect, is now the general expectation, who took Post unexpectedly, left all that had offer'd their Service in this Expedition, in the lurch; and, being attended only by Sir Thomas Armstrong, and Mr. C— will, without question, have the full Glory as well of the Pruden∣tial as the Military Part of this Action entire to himself. The most profound Politicians have weighty Brows, and care∣ful Aspects at present, upon a Report crept abroad, That Mr. Langhorn, to save his Life, offers a Discovery of Priests and Iesuits Lands, to the value of Four∣score and ten thousand Pounds a Year;
which being accepted, it is fear'd, Par∣tisans and Vndertakers will be found out to advance a considerable Sum of Mony upon this Fund, to the utter Interruption of Parliaments, and the Destruction of ma∣ny hopeful Designs. This, I must call God to witness, was never hinted to me in the least by Mr. P— to whom I beg you will give me your hearty Recommenda∣tions. Thus much to afford you a taste of my serious Abilities, and to let you know I have a great Goggle-eye to Business: And now I cannot deny you a share in the high satisfaction I have receiv'd at the account which flourishes here of your high Prote∣stancy at Paris: Charenton was never so Honour'd, as since your Residence and Mi∣nistry in France, to that degree, that it is not doubted if the Parliament be sitting at your return, or otherwise the Mayor and Common-Council, will Petition the King you may be dignified with the Title of that place, by way of Earldom or Duke∣d••m, as his Majesty shall think mo••t proper to give, or you accept.
Mr. S— is a Man of that tenderness of Heart, and approv'd Humanity, that he will doubtless be highly afflicted when he
hears of the unfortunate Pilgrims, tho' he appears very obdurate ••o the Complaints of his own best Concubine, and your fair Kins∣woman M— who now starves. The Packet inclos'd in your last, I read with all the sence of Compassion it merits, and if I can prove so unexpectedly happy to succeed in my Endeavou••s for that Fair Unfortunate, she shall have a speedy ac∣count. I thank God, there is yet a Harry Savile in E••gland, with whom I drank your Health last Week at Sir William Co∣ventry's; and who, in Features, Proportion and Pledging, gives me so lively an Idea of yourself, that I am resolv'd to retire into Oxfordshire, and enjoy him till Shiloe come, or you from France.
ROCHESTER.
Ended the 2••th of June, 1679.HARRY,
ANY kind of Correspondence with such a Friend as you, is very agree∣able; and therefore you will easily be∣lieve, I am very ill when I lose the oppor∣tunity of Writing to you: But Mr. Povy comes into my Mind, and hinders far∣ther Compliment: In a plainer way I must tell you, I pray for your hapyy Resto∣ration; but was not at all sorry for your glorious Disgrace, which is an Honour, considering the Cause. I wou'd say some∣thing to the serious part (as you were pleas'd to call it) of your former Letter; but it will disgrace my Politicks to differ from yours, who have wrought now sometime under the best and keenest Statesmen our Cabinet boasts of: But, to confess the Truth, my Advice to the La∣dy you wot of, has ever been this, Take your Measures just contrary to your Rivals,
live in Peace with all the World, and easily with the King: Never be so Ill-natur'd to stir up his Anger against others, but let him forget the use of a Passion, which is never to do you good: Cherish his Love where-ever it inclines, and be assur'd you can't commit greater Folly than pretending to be Iealous; but, on the contrary, with Hand, Body, Head, Heart and all the Faculties you have, contribute to his Pleasure all you can, and comply with his Desires throughout: And, for new Intrigues, so you be at one end, 'tis no matter which: Make Sport when you can, at other times help it.— Thus, I have giv'n you an account how unfit I am to give the Advice you propos'd: Besides this, you may judge, whether I was a good Pimp, or no. But some thought otherwise; and so truly I have renounc'd Business; let abler Men try it. More a great deal I would say, but upon this Subject; and, for this time, I beg, this may suffice, from
Your humble and most affectionate faithful Servant, ROCHESTER.
Dear SAVILE,
'TIs not that I am the idlest Creature living, and only chuse to imploy my Thoughts rather upon my Friends, than to languish all the Day in the tedi∣ousness of doing nothing, that I write to you; but owning, that (tho' you excel most Men in Friendship and good Na∣ture) you are not quite exempt from all Human Frailty, I send this to hinder you from forgetting a Man who loves you very heartily. The World, ever since I can remember, has been still so insuppor∣tably the same, that 'twere vain to hope there were any alterations; and ther••fore I can have no curiosity for News; only I wou'd be glad to know if the Parliament be like to sit any time; for the Peers of England being grown of late Years very considerable in the Government, I wou'd make one at the Session. Livy and Sick∣ness
has a little inclin'd me to Policy; when I come to Town I make no questi∣on but to change that Folly for some less; whether Wine or Women I know not; according as my Constitution serves me: Till when (Dear Harry) Farewel! When you Dine at my Lord Lisle's let me be re∣membred.
Kings and Princes are only as Incom∣prehensible as what they pret••nd to repre∣sent; but apparently as Frail as Those they Govern.— This is a Season of Tri∣bulation; and I piously beg of Almighty God, that the strict Severity shewn to one scandalous Sin amongst us, may Expiate for all grievous Calamities.— So help them God, whom it concerns!
HARRY,
IF Sack and Sugar be a Sin, God help the Wicked; was the Saying of a merry fat Gentleman, who liv'd in Days of Yore, lov'd a Glass of Wine, wou'd be merry with a Friend, and sometimes had an unlucky Fancy for a Wench. Now (dear Mr. Savile) forgive me, if I confess, that, upon several occasions, you have put me in mind of this fat Person, and now more particularly, for thinking upon your present Circumstan∣ces, I cannot but say with myself, If loving a pretty Woman, and hating Lautherdale, bring Banishments and Pox, the Lord have mercy upon poor Thieves and S—s! But, by this time, all your Inconveniences (for, to a Man of your very good Sence, no outward Acci∣dents are more) draw very near their end; For my own part, I'm taking
pains not to die, without knowing how to live on, when I have brought it a∣bout: But most Human Affairs are carri∣ed on at the same nonsensical rate, which makes me, (who am now grown Su∣perstitious) think it a Fault to laugh at the Monky we have here, when I com∣pare his Condition with Mankind. You will be very good-natur'd if you keep your Word, and write to me some∣times: And so good Night, dear Mr. Sa∣vile.
ROCHESTER.
HARRY,
WHether Love, Wine, or Wisdom, (which rule you by turns) have the present Ascendant, I cannot pretend to determine at this distance; but Good-nature, which waits about you with more diligence than Godfrey himself, is my Se∣curity, that you are unmindful of your ab∣sent Friends: To be from you, and for∣gotten by you at once, is a Misfortune I never was criminal enough to merit, since to the Black and Fair Countess, I villa∣nously betray'd the daily Addresses of your divided Heart: You forgave that upon the first Bottle, and upon the second, on my Conscience, wou'd have re∣nounc'd them and the whole Sex; Oh! That second Bottle (Harry!) is the Sin∣••••rest, Wisest, and most Impartial Down∣right Friend we have; tells us truth of o••rselves, and forces us to speak Truths
of others; banishes Flattery from our Tongues, and distru••t from our Hearts, sets us above the mean Policy of Court-Prudence; which makes us lie to one ano∣ther all Day, for fear of being betray'd by each other at Night. And (before God) I believe, the errantest Villain breathing, is honest as long as that Bottle lives, and few of that Tribe dare venture upon him, at least, among the Courtiers and Statesmen. I have seriously consi∣der'd one thing, That the three Businesses of this Age, Women, Politicks, and Drink∣ing, the la••t is the only Exercise at which you and I have not prov'd ourselves er∣rant Fumblers: If you have the Vanity to think otherwise; when we meet, let us appeal to Friends of both Sexes, and as they shall determine, live and die their Drunkards, or entire Lovers. For, as we mince the Matter, it is hard to say which is the most tiresom Creature, loving Drunkard, or the drunken Lov••r.
If you ventur'd your fat Buttock a Gal∣lop to Portsmouth, I doubt not but thro' extream Galling, you now lie Bed-rid of the Piles, or Fistula in Ano, and have the lei∣sure to write to your Country-Acquain∣tance,
which if you omit I shall take the Liberty to conclude you very Proud. Such a Letter shou'd be directed to me at Ad∣derbury, near Banbury, where I intend to be within these three Days.
From your obedient humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
Bath, the 22d of June.
Dear SAVILE,
WHether Love or the Politicks have the greater Interest in your Jour∣ny to France, because it is argu'd among wiser Men, I will not conclude upon; but hoping so much from your Friend∣ship, that, without reserve, you will trust me with the time of your stay in Paris, I have writ this to assure you, if it can continue a Month, I will not fail to wait on you there. My Resolutions are to improve this Winter for the Improve∣ment of my Parts in Foreign Countries, and if the Temptation of seeing you, be added to the Desires I have already, the Sin is so sweet, that I am resolv'd to em∣brace it, and leave out of my Prayers, Libra nos a Malo— For thine is, &c.
ROCHESTER.
Oxford, Sep∣temb. 5.
HARRY,
'TIS not the least of my Hap∣piness, that I think you love me; but the first of all my Pretensions is to make it appear, that I faithful∣ly endeavour to deserve it. If there be a real good upon Earth, 'tis in the Name of FRIEND, without which all others are meer fantastical. How few of us are fit stuff to make that thing, we have daily the melancholly experience.
However, dear Harry! Let us not give out, nor despair of bringing that about, which, as it is the most difficult, and rare Accident of Life, is also the best; nay, (perhaps) the only good one. This Thought has so entirely possess'd me since I came into the Country,
(where, only, one can think; for, you at Court think not at all; or, at least, as if you were shut up in a Drum; as you think of nothing, but the Noise that is made about you) that I have made many Serious Reflecti∣ons upon it, and, amongst others, ga∣ther'd one Maxime, which I desire, shou'd be communicated to our Friend Mr. G—; That, we are bound in Mo∣rality and common Honesty, to endea∣vour after Competent Riches; since it is certain, that few Men, if any, uneasie in their Fortunes, have prov'd firm and clear in their Friendships. A ve∣ry poor Fellow, is a very poor Friend; and not one of a thousand can be good natur'd to another, who is not pleas'd within himself. But while I grow in∣to Proverbs, I forget that you may impute my Philosophy to the Dog-days, and living alone. To prevent the In∣conveniences of Solitude, and many o∣thers, I intend to go to the Bath on Sunday next, in Visitation to my Lord Treasurer: Be so Politick, or be so Kind, (or a little of both, which is better) as to step down thither, if
famous Affairs at Windsor, do not de••tain you. Dear Harry! I am Your Hearty, Faithful, Affectionate, Humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
If you see the Dutchess of P— ve∣ry often, take some opportunity to talk to her about what I spoke to you at London.
Dear SAVILE,
IF it were the Sign of an honest Man, to be happy in his Friends, sure I were mark'd out for the worst of Men; since no one e'er lost so many as I have done, or knew to make so few. The Severity you say the Dutchess of P— shews to me, is a proof, that 'tis not in my power to deserve well of Any-body; since (I call Truth to Witness) I have never been guilty of an Errour, that I know, to her: And this may be a Warn∣ing to you, that remain in the Mistake of being kind to me, never to expect a grateful Return; since I am so utterly ignorant how to make it: To value you in my Thoughts, to prefer you in my Wishes, to serve you in my Words; to observe, study, and obey you in all my Actions, is too little; since I have per∣formed all this to her, without so much
as an offensive Accident. And yet she thinks it just, to use me ill. If I were not malicious enough to hope she were in the wrong; I must have a very melan∣cholly Opinion of myself. I wish your Interest might prevail with her, as a Friend of her's, not mine, to tell how I have deserv'd it of her, since she has ne'r accus'd me of any Crime, but of being Cunning; and I told her, Some∣body had been Cunninger than I, to per∣swade her so. I can as well support the Hatred of the whole World, as Any∣body, not being generally fond of it. Those whom I have oblig'd, may use me with Ingratitude, and not afflict me much: But to be injur'd by those who have oblig'd me, and to whose Service I am ever bound; is such a Curse, as I can only wish on them who wrong me to the Dutchess.
I hope you have not forgot what G—y and you have promis'd me; but within some time you will come and fetch me to London: I shall scarce think of coming, till you call me, as not ha∣ving many prevalent Motives to draw me to the Court, if it be so that my Ma∣ster
has no need of my Service, nor my Friends of my Company.
Mr. Shepheard is a Man of a fluent Stile and coherent Thought; if, as I suspect, he writ your Postscript.
I wish my Lord Hallifax Joy of every Thing, and of his Daughter to boot.
ROCHESTER.
HARRY,
YOu, who have known me these ten Years the Grievance of all prudent Persons, the By-word of Statesmen, the Scorn of ugly Ladies, which are very near All, and the irreconcilable Aversion of fine Gentlemen, who are the Ornamen∣tal Part o•• a Nation, and yet found me seldom sad, even under these weighty Oppressions; can you think that the lo∣ving of lean Arms, small Legs, red Eyes and Nose, (if you will consider that Trifle too) can have the Power to depress the natural Alacrity of my careless Soul; especially upon receiving a fine Letter from Mr. Savile, which never wants Wit and Good-nature, two Qualities able to transport my Heart with Joy, tho it were breaking? I wonder at M—'s flaunt∣ing it in Court with such fine Clothes; sure he is an alter'd Person since I saw
him; for, since I can remember, nei∣ther his ownself, nor any belonging to him, were ever out of Rags: His Page alone was well cloath'd of all his Fami∣ly, and that but in appearance; for, of late he has made no more of w••aring Second-hand C—ts, than Second-hand Shooes; tho' I must confess, to his Ho∣nour, he chang'd 'em oftener. I wish the King were soberly advis'd about a main Advantage in this Marriage, which may possibly be omitted; I mean, the ridding his Kingdom of some old Beau∣ties and young Deformities, who swam, and are a Grievance to his Liege People. A Foreign Prince ought to behave him∣self like a Kite, who is allow'd to take one Royal Chick for his Reward; but then 'tis expected, before he leaves the Country, his Flock shall clear the whole Parish of all the Garbage and Carrion many Miles about. The King had ne∣ver such an opportunity; for the Dutch are very ••oul Feeders, and what they leave he must never hope to be rid of, unless he set up an Intrigue with the Tartars or Cossacks. For the Libel you speak of, upon that most unwitty Gene∣ration, the present Poets, I rejoyce in it
with all my Heart, and shall take it for a Favour, if you will send me a Copy. He cannot want Wit utterly, that has a Spleen to those Rogues, tho' never so dully express'd. And now, dear Mr. Sa∣vile, forgive me, if I do not wind up my self with an handsom Period.
ROCHESTER.
Dear SAVILE,
THO' I am almost Blind, utterly Lame, and scarce within the rea∣sonable hopes of ever seeing London a∣gain, I am not yet so wholly mortified and dead to the taste of all Happiness, not to be extreamly reviv'd at the receipt of a kind Letter from an old Friend, who in all probability might have laid me aside in his Thoughts, if not quite forgot me by this time. I ever thought you an extraordinary Man, and must now think you such a Friend, who, be∣ing a Courtier, as you are, can love a Man whom it is the great Mode to hate. Catch Sir G. H. or Sir Carr, at such an ill-bred Proceeding, and I am mistaken: For the hideous Deportment, which you have heard of, concerning running naked, so much is true, that
we went into the River somewhat late in the Year, and had a Frisk for forty Yards in the Meadow, to dry our∣selves. I will appeal to the King and the Duke, If they had not done as much; nay, may Lord-Chancellor and the Arch∣bishops both, when they were School-boys? And, at these Years, I have heard the one Declaim'd like Cicero, the others Preach'd like St. Austin: Prudenter Per∣sons, I conclude, they were, ev'n in Hanging-sleeves, than any of the flashy Fry, (of which I must own myself the most unsolid) can hope to appear, ev'n in their ripest Manhood.
And now, (Mr. Savile) since you are pleas'd to quote yourself for a grave Man of the Number of the Scanda∣liz'd, be pleas'd to call to mind the Year 1676, when two large fat Nudi∣ties led the Coranto round Rosamond's fair Fountain, while the poor violated Nymph wept to behold the strange De∣cay of Manly Parts, since the Days of her dear Harry the Second: P— ('tis confess'd) you shew'd but little of; but for A— and B—, (a fil∣thier
Ostentation! God wot) you ex∣pos'd more of that Nastiness in your two Folio Volumes, than we altogether in our six Quarto's. Pluck therefore the Beam out of thine own Eye, &c. And now 'tis time to thank you for your kind inviting me to London, to make Dutch-m••n merry; a thing I would a∣void, like killing Punaises, the filthy Savour of Dutch-mirth being more ter∣rible. If GOD, in Mercy, has made 'em hush and melancholly, do not you rouze their sleeping Mirth, to make the Town mourn; the Prince of O∣range is exalted above 'em, and I cou'd wish my self in Town to serve him in some refin'd Pleasures; which, I fear, you are too much a Dutch-man to think of.
The best Present I can make at this time is the Bearer, whom I beg you to take care of, that the King may hear his Tunes, when he is easie and pri∣vate, because I am sure they will di∣vert him extreamly: And may he ever have Harmony in his Mind, as this Fel∣low will pour it into his Ears: May
he dream pleasantly, wake joyfully, love safely and tenderly, live long and happily; ever prays (Dear Savile) un Bougre lasse qui era toute sa foutue reste de Vie,
Vostre fidelle, amy & tres humble Serviteur, ROCHESTER.
HARRY,
THAT Night I receiv'd by Yours the surprizing Account of my Lady Dutchess's more than ordinary In∣dignation against me, I was newly brought in dead of a Fall from my Horse, of which I still remain Bruis'd and Bedrid, and can now scarce think it a Happiness that I sav'd my Neck. What ill Star reigns over me, that I'm still mark'd out for Ingratitude, and on∣ly us'd barbarously to those I am oblig'd to! Had I been troublesom to her in pinning the Dependance of my Fortune upon her Solicitations to the King, or her Unmerited Recommendations of me to some Great Man; it would not have mov'd my Wonder much, if she had sought any Occasion to be rid of a use∣less Trouble: But, a Creature, who had already receiv'd of her all the Obligations
he ever could pretend to, except the con∣tinuance of her good Opinion, for the which he resolv'd, and did direct every step of his Life in Duty and Service to her, and all who were concern'd in her; why should she take the Advantage of a false idle Story, to hate such a Man; as if it were an Inconvenience to her to be harmless, or a Pain to continue just? By that God that made me, I have no more offended her in Thought, Word, or Deed, no more imagin'd or utter'd the least Thought to her Contempt or Prejudice, than I have plotted Treason, conceal'd Arms, Train'd Regiments for a Rebel∣lion. If there be upon Earth a Man of Common Honesty, who will justifie a Tittle of her Accusation, I am contented never to s•••• her. After this, she need not forbid me to come to her, I have little Pride or Pleasure in shewing myself where I am accus'd of a M••anness I were not capable of, even for her Ser∣vice, which would prove a shrewder Tryal of my Honesty than any Ambi∣tion I ever had to make my Court to. I thought the Dutchess of P— more an Angel than I find her a Woman; and as this is the first, it shall be the most mali∣cious
thing I will ever say of her. For her generous Resolution of not hurting me to the King, I thank her; but she must think a Man much oblig'd, after the calling of him Knave, to say she will do him no farther Prejudice. For the Countess of P—, whatever she has heard me say, or any body else, of her, I'll stand the Test of any impartial Judge, 'twas neither injurious nor un∣mannerly; and how severe soever she pleases to be, I have always been her humble Servant, and will continue so. I do not know how to assure myself the D. will spare me to the King, who would not to you; I'm sure she can't say I ever injur'd you to her; nor am I at all afraid she can hurt me with you; I dare swear you don't think I have dealt so indis∣creetly in my Service to her, as to doubt me in the Friendship I profess to you. And, to shew you I rely upon yours, let me beg of you to talk once more with her, and desire her to give me the fair hearing she wou'd afford any Footman of hers, who had been complain'd of to her by a less-worthy Creature, (for such a one, I assure myself, my Accuser is) unless it be for her Service, to wrong the most
faithful of her Servants; and then I shall be proud of mine. I would not be run down by a Company of Rogues, and this looks like an Endeavour towards it: Therefore (dear Harry) send me word, how I am with other Folks; if you visit my Lord Treasurer, name the Calamity of this Matter to him, and tell me sin∣cerely how he takes it: And, if you hear the King mention me, do the Office of a Friend, to
Your humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
Dear SAVILE,
THE Lowsiness of Affairs in this Place, is such (forgive the un∣mannerly Phrase! Expressions must de∣scend to the Nature of Things express'd) 'tis not fit to entertain a private Gentle∣man, much less one of a publick Chara∣cter, with the Retail of them, the general Heads, under which this whole Island may be consider'd, are Spies, Beggars and Rebels, the Transpositions and Mixtures of these, make an agreeable Variety; Bu∣sie Fools and Cautious Knaves are bred out of 'em, and set off wonderfully; tho' of this latter sort, we have fewer now than ever, Hypocrisie being the only Vice in decay amongst us, few Men here dis∣semble their being Rascals; and no Wo∣man disowns being a Whore. Mr. O— was try'd two Days ago for Buggery, and clear'd: The next Day he brought
his Action to the Kings-Bench, against his Accuser, being attended by the Earl of Shaftsbury, and other Peers, to the number of Seven, for the Honour of the Prote∣stant Cause. I have sent you herewith a Libel, in which my own share is not the least; the King having perus'd it, is no ways dissatisfied with his: The Au∣thor is apparent Mr. —, his Patron my L— having a Panegerick in the midst; upon which happen'd a hand∣som Quarrel between his L—, and Mrs. B— at the Dutchess of P—; she call'd him, The Heroe of the Libel, and complimented him upon having made more Cuckolds, than any Man a∣live; to which he answer'd, She very well knew one he never made, nor never car'd to be imploy'd in making. — Rogue and Bitch ensued, till the King, taking his Grand-father's Character upon him, became the Peace-maker. I will not trouble you any longer, but beg you still to Love
Your faithful, humble Servant, ROCHESTER.
HARRY,
YOU are the only Man of England, that keep Wit with your Wisdom; and I am happy in a Friend that excels in both, were your Good Nature the least of your Good Qualities, I durst not presume upon it, as I have done; but I know you are so sincerely con∣cern'd in serving your Friends truly, that I need not make an Apology for the Trouble I have given you in this Affair.
I daily expect more considerable Ef∣fects of your Friendship, and have the Vanity to think, I shall be the better for your growing poorer.
In the mean time, when you please to distinguish from Prosers and Wind∣ham, and comply with Rosers and Bull,
not forgetting Iohn Stevens, you shall find me
Your most Ready and most Obedient Servant, ROCHESTER.