The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. V. How Pantagruel altogether abhorreth the Debtors and Borrowers. (Book 5)

I Understand you very well, (quoth Pantagruel) and take you to be very good at Topicks, and throughly affection∣ed to your own Cause: But preach it up, and patrocinate it; prattle on it, and de∣fend it as much as you will, even from hence to the next Whitsuntide, if you please so to do, yet in the end will you be astonished to find how you shall have gained no ground at all upon me, nor perswaded me by your fair Speeches and smooth Talk to enter never so little into the Thraldom of Debt. You shall owe to none (saith the Holy Apostle) any thing save Love, Friendship and a mutual Bene∣volence.

You serve me here, I confess, with fine Graphides and Diatyposes, Descriptions and Figures, which truly please me very well: But let me tell you, if you will represent unto your Fancy an impudent blustering Bully and an importunate Borrower, en∣tring

afresh and newly into a Town al∣ready advertised of his Manners, you shall find that at his Ingress the Citizens will be more hideously affrighted and amazed, and in a greater terror and fear, dread and trembling, than if the Pest it self should step into it in the very same Garb and Accoutrement wherein the Tyanaean Philosopher found it within the City of Ephesus. And I am fully confirmed in the Opinion, that the Persians erred not, when they said, That the Second Vice was to Lie, the first being that of owing Money. For in very truth, Debts and Lying are or∣dinarily joyned together. I will never∣theless not from hence infer, that none must owe any thing, or lend any thing. For who so rich can be, that sometimes may not owe; or who can be so poor, that sometimes may not lend?

Let the occasion notwithstanding in that case (as Plato very wisely sayeth, and ordaineth in his Laws) be such, that none be permitted to draw any Water out of his Neighbour's Well, until first, they by continual digging and delving into their own proper Ground, shall have hit upon a kind of Potters Earth, which is called Ceramite, and there had found no source or drop of Water; for that sort of Earth, by reason of its Substance, which

is fat, strong, firm and close; so retaineth its Humidity, that it doth not easily eva∣porate it by any outward excursion or evaporation.

In good sooth, it is a great shame to choose rather to be still borrowing in all places from every one, than to work and win. Then only in my Judgment should one lend, when the diligent, toiling and in∣dustrious Person is no longer able by his labour to make any Purchase unto him∣self, or otherwise, when by mischance he hath suddenly fallen into an unexpected loss of his Goods.

Howsoever let us leave this Discourse, and from henceforwards do not hang upon Creditors, nor tie your self to them; I make account for the time past to rid you freely of them, and from their Bon∣dage to deliver you. The least I should in this point, (quoth Panurge) is to thank you, though it be the most I can do: And if Gratitude and Thanksgiving be to be estimated and prized by the Affection of the Benefactor, that is to be done in∣finitely and sempiternally; for the love which you bear me of your own accord and free Grace, without any merit of mine, goeth far beyond the reach of any price or value; it transcends all weight, all number, all measure, it is endless and

everlasting; therefore should I offer to commensurate and adjust it, either to the size and proportion of your own noble and gracious Deeds, or yet to the Content∣ment and Delight of the obliged Recei∣vers, I would come off but very faintly and flaggingly. You have verily done me a great deal of good, and multiplied your Favours on me more frequently than was fitting to one of my condition. You have been more bountiful towards me than I have deserved, and your Courtesies have by far surpassed the extent of my merits, I must needs confess it. But it is not, as you suppose, in the proposed matter: For there it is not where I itch, it is not there where it fretteth, hurts or vexeth me; for henceforth being quit and out of Debt, what Countenance will I be able to keep? You may imagine that it will become me very ill, for the first month, because I have never hitherto been brought up or accustomed to it, I am very much afraid of it. Further∣more, there shall not one hereafter, Native of the Country of Salmigondy, but he shall level the Shot towards my Nose; all the back-cracking Fellows of the World, in discharging of their Postern Petarades, use commonly to say, Voila pour les quitters; that is, For the quit. My

Life will be of very short continuance, I do foresee it, I recommend to you the making of my Epitaph; for I perceive I will die confected in the very stinch of Farts. If at any time to come, by way of restorative to such good Women as shall happen to be troubled with the grie∣vous pain of the Wind-Cholick, the ordi∣nary Medicaments prove nothing effectu∣al, the Mummy of all my befarted Body will streight be as a present Remedy ap∣pointed by the Physicians; whereof they taking any small Modicum, it will inconti∣nently for their Ease afford them a Rattle of Bum-shot, like a Sal of Muskets.

Therefore would I beseech you to leave me some few Centuries of Debts; as King Louis the Eleventh, exempting from Suits in Law the Reverend Milles d' Illiers, Bi∣shop of Chartre, was by the said Bishop most earnestly sollicited to leave him some few for the Exercise of his mind. I had rather give them all my Revenue of the Periwinkles, together with the other In∣comes of the Locusts, albeit I should not thereby have any parcel abated from off the principal Sums which I owe. Let us wave this matter (quoth Pantagruel) I have told it you over again.