The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. III. How Panurge praiseth the Debtors and Borrowers. (Book 3)

BUT, quoth Pantagruel, when will you be out of Debt? At the next ensuing Term of the Greek Calends, an∣swered Panurge, when all the World shall be content, and that it be your Fate to become your own Heir. The Lord for∣bid that I should be out of Debt, as if, in∣deed, I could not be trusted. Who leaves

not some Leaven over night, will hardly hav•• paste the next morning.

Be still indebted to some body or other, that there may be some body always to pray for you; that the Giver of all good things may grant unto you a blessed, long, and prosperous Life, fearing if Fortune should deal crosly with you, that it might be his chance to come short of being paid by you; he will always speak good of you in every Company, ever and anon purchase new Creditors unto you; to the end that through their means you may make a shift by borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and with other folks Earth fill up his Ditch. When of old in the Re∣gion of the Gauls, by the Institution of the Druids, the Servants, Slaves and Bond∣men were burnt quick at the Funerals and Obsequies of their Lords and Masters; had not they fear enough, think you, that their Lords and Masters should die? for per force, they were to die with them for Company. Did not they uncessantly send up their Supplications to their great God Mercury, as likewise unto Dis the Father of Wealth, to lengthen out their days, and preserve them long in health? Were not they very careful to entertain them well, punctually to look unto them, and to attend them faithfully and circumspect∣ly?

For by those means were they to live together at least until the hour of Death. Believe me, your Creditors with a more fervent Devotion will beseech Almighty God to prolong your Life, they being of nothing more afraid than that you should die; for that they are more concerned for the Sleeve than the Arm, and love Silver better than their own Lives; as it evidently appeareth by the Usurers of Landerousse, who not long since hanged themselves, because the price of the Corn and Wines was fallen, by the return of a gracious Season. To this Pantagruel an∣swering nothing, Panurge went on in his Discourse, saying, Truly, and in good sooth (Sir,) when I ponder my Destiny aright, and think well upon it, you put me shrewdly to my Plunges, and have me at a Bay in twitting me with the Re∣proach of my Debts and Creditors: And yet did I, in this only respect and con∣sideration of being a Debtor, esteem my self worshipful, reverend and formidable. For against the Opinion of most Philoso∣phers, that of nothing ariseth nothing; yet without having bottomed on so much as that which is called the First Matter, did I out of nothing become such Ma••••er and Creator, that I have created, what? a gay number of fair and jolly Creditors. Nay,

Creditors (I will maintain it, even to the very Fire it self exclusively) are fair and goodly Creatures. Who lendeth nothing is an ugly and wicked Creature, and an ac∣cursed Imp of the Infernal Old Nick. And there is made, what? Debts: A thing most precious and dainty, of great Use and Antiquity. Debts (I say) surmounting the number of Syllables which may result from the Combinations of all the Conso∣nants, with each of the Vowels hereto∣fore projected, reckoned and calculated by the Noble Xenocrates. To judge of the perfection of Debtors by the Numerosity of their Creditors, is the readiest way for entring into the Mysteries of Practical Arithmetick.

You can hardly imagine how glad I am, when every Morning I perceive my self environed and surrounded with Bri∣gades of Creditors; humble, fawning, and full of their Reverences: And whilst I remark, that as I look more favourably upon, and give a chearfuller Counte∣nance to one than to another, the Fellow thereupon buildeth a Conceit that he shall be the first Dispatched, and the foremost in the Date of Payment; and he valueth my Smiles at the rate of ready Money. It seemeth unto me, that I then act and personate the God of the Passion of Sau∣mure,

accompanied with his Angels and Cherubims.

These are my Flatterers, my Soothers, my Claw backs, my Smoothers, my Para∣sites, my Saluters, my Givers of good Morrows, and perpetual Orators; which makes me verily think, that the supream∣est Height of Heroick Vertue, described by Hesiode, consisteth in being a Debtor, wherein I held the first degree in my Com∣mencement. Which Dignity though all Humane Creatures seem to aim at, and as∣pire thereto, few nevertheless, because of the difficulties in the way, and incum∣brances of hard Passages are able to reach it, as is easily perceivable by the ardent desire and vehement longing harboured in the Breast of every one, to be still creating more Debts, and the new Creditors.

Yet doth it not lie in the power of e∣very one to be a Debtor. To acquire Cre∣ditors is not at the Disposure of each Man's Arbitriment. You nevertheless would de∣prive me of this sublime Felicity. You ask me when I will be out of Debt. Well, to go yet further on, and possibly worse in your Conceit, may Sanct Bablin, the good Sanct, snatch me, if I have not all my Life-time held Debt to be as an Union or Conjunction of the Heavens with the Earth, and the whole Cement whereby

the Race of Mankind is kept together; yea, of such Vertue and Efficacy, that, I say, the whole Progeny of Adam would very suddenly perish without it. There∣fore, perhaps, I do not think amiss, when I repute it to be the great Soul of the Uni∣verse, which (according to the Opinion of the Academicks) vivifyeth all manner of things. In Confirmation whereof, that you may the better believe it to be so, re∣present unto your self, without any preju∣dicacy of Spirit, in a clear and serene Fan∣cy, the Idea and Form of some other World than this; take if you please, and lay hold on the thirtieth of those which the Philosopher Methrodorus did enumerate, wherein it is to be supposed there is no Debtor or Creditor, that is to say, a World without Debts.

There amongst the Planets will be no regular Course, all will be in Disorder, Iupiter reckoning himself to be nothing in∣debted unto Saturn, will go near to detrude him out of his Sphere, and with the Ho∣merick Chain will be like to hang up the Intelligences, Gods, Heavens, Demons, He∣roes, Devils, Earth and Sea together with the other Elements. Saturn no doubt combining with Mars will reduce that so disturbed World into a Chaos of Confu∣sion.

Mercury then would be no more sub∣jected to the other Planets; he would scorn to be any longer their Camillus, as he was of old termed in the Hetrurian Tongue; for it is to be imagined that he is no way a Debtor to them.

Venus will be no more Venerable, be∣cause she shall have lent nothing. The Moon will remain bloody and obscure: For to what end should the Sun impart un∣to her any of his Light? He owed her no∣thing. Nor yet will the Sun shine upon the Earth, nor the Stars send down any good Influence, because the Terrestrial Globe hath desisted from sending up their wonted Nourishment by Vapours and Exhalations, wherewith Heraclitus said the Stoicks proved Cicero maintained they were cherished and alimented. There would likeways be in such a World no manner of Symbolization, Alteration, nor Transmutation amongst the Elements; for the one will not esteem it self obliged to the other, as having borrowed nothing at all from it. Earth then will not be∣come Water, Water will not be changed into Air, of Air will be made no Fire, and Fire will afford no Heat unto the Earth; the Earth will produce nothing but Monsters, Titans, Giants; no Rain will descend upon it, nor Light shine

thereon; no Wind will blow there, nor will there be in it any Summer or Har∣vest. Lucifer will break loose, and issuing forth of the depth of Hell, accompanied with his Furies, Fiends and Horned De∣vils, will go about to unnestle and drive out of Heaven all the Gods, as well of the greater as of the lesser Nations. Such a World without lending, will be no better than a Dog-kennel, a place of Contention and Wrangling, more unruly and irregu∣lar than that of the Rector of Paris; a Devil of an Hurly-burly, and more dis∣ordered Confusion, than that of the Plagues of Do••ay. Men will not then salute one another; it will be but lost la∣bour to expect Aid or Succour from any, or to cry, Fire, Water, Murther, for none will put to their helping Hand. Why? He lent no Money, there is nothing due to him. No body is concerned in his Burn∣ing, in his Shipwrack, in his Ruine, or in his Death; and that because he hitherto had lent nothing, and would never there∣after have lent any thing. In short, Faith, Hope and Charity would be quite banish'd from such a World; for Men are born to relieve and assist one another; and in their stead should succeed and be introduced Defiance, Disdain and Rancour, with the most execrable Troop of all Evils, all Im∣precations

and all Miseries. Whereupon you will think, and that not amiss, that Pandora had there spilt her unlucky Bot∣tle. Men unto Men will be Wolves, Hob∣thrushers and Goblins, (as were Lycaon, Bellorophon, Nebuchodonosor) Plunderers, High-way Robbers, Cut-throats, Rappo∣rees, Murtherers, Payloners, Assass••nators, lewd, wicked, malevolent, pernicious Ha∣ters, set against every body, like to Ismael, Metabus, or Timon the Athenian, who for that cause was named Misanthropos; in such sort, that it would prove much more easie in Nature to have Fish entertained in the Air, and Bullocks fed in the bottom of the Ocean, than to support or tolerate a rascally Rabble of People that will not Lend. These Fellows (I vow) do I hate with a perfect Hatred; and if conform to the pattern of this grievous, peevish and perverse World which lendeth nothing, you figure and liken the little World, which is Man, you will find in him a ter∣rible justling Coyle and Clutter: The Head will not lend the sight of his Eyes to guide the Feet and Hands; the Legs will refuse to bear up the Body; the Hands will leave off working any more for the rest of the Members; the Heart will be weary of its continual Motion for the beating of the Pulse, and will no lon∣ger

lend his Assistance; the Lungs will withdraw the use of their Bellows; the Liver will desist from convoying any more Blood through the Veins for the good of the whole; the Bladder will not be indebted to the Kidneys, so that the Urine thereby will be totally stopped. The Brains, in the interim, considering this unnatural course, will fall into a ra∣ving Dotage, and with-hold all feeling from the Sinews, and Motion from the Muscles: Briefly, in such a World with∣out Order and Array, owing nothing, lend∣ing nothing, and borrowing nothing, you would see a more dangerous Conspiration than that which Esope exposed in his Apo∣logue. Such a World will perish undoubt∣edly; and not only perish, but perish ve∣ry quickly. Were it Asculapius himself, his Body would immediately rot, and the chasing Soul full of Indignation take its Flight to all the Devils of Hell after my Money.