The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. XLVI. How Pantagruel and Panurge diversly interpret the Words of Triboulet. (Book 46)

HE says you are a Fool; and what kind of Fool? A mad Fool, who in your old Age would enslave your self to the Bondage of Matrimony, and shut your Pleasures up within a Wedlock, whose Key some Ruffian carries in his Codpiece. He says furthermore, beware of the Monk. Upon mine Honour, it gives me in my mind, that you will be cuckold∣ed by a Monk. Nay, I will engage mine Honour, which is the most precious Pawn I could have in my Possession, al∣though I were sole and peaceable Domi∣nator over all Europe, Asia, and Africk, that if you marry, you will surely be one of the Horned Brotherhood of Vulcan. Hereby may you perceive how much I do attribute to the wise Foolery of our Morosoph Triboulet. The other Oracles and Responses did in the general prognosti∣cate you a Cuckold, without descending

so near to the point of a particular De∣termination, as to pitch upon what Vo∣cation, amongst the several sorts of Men, he should profess who is to be the Copes∣mate of your Wife, and Hornifyer of your proper self. Thus noble Triboulet tells it us plainly, from whose Words we may gather with all ease imaginary, that your Cuckoldry is to be infamous, and so much the more scandalous, that your Conjugal Bed will be incestuously conta∣minated with the Filthiness of a Monkery Lecher. Moreover he says, that you will be the Hornepipe of Buzansay. That is to say, well horned, hornified and cornuted: And as Triboulet's Unkle asked from Lewis the Twelfth, for a younger Brother of his own who lived at Blois, the Hornepipes of Buzansay, for the Organ Pipes, through the mistake of one Word for another: Even so, whilst you think to marry a wise, humble, calm, discreet and honest Wife, you shall unhappily stumble upon one witless, proud, lowd, obstreperous, bawling, clamourous, and more unplea∣sant than any Buzansay-hornepipe. Consider withal, how he flirted you on the Nose with the Bladder, and gave you a sound thumping Blow with his Fist upon the ridge of the Back. This denotates and presageth, that you shall be banged, beaten

and filipped by her; and that also she will steal of your Goods from you, as you stole the Hogs Bladder from the little Boys of Vaubreton. Plat contrary (quoth Panurge) not that I would impudently ex∣empt my self from being a Vassal in the Territory of Folly; I hold of that Juris∣diction, and am subject thereto, I confess it; and why should I not? for the whole World is foolish. In the old Lorrain Lan∣guage (fou for oou) All and Fool were the same thing. Besides it is avouched by So∣lomon, that infinite is the number of Fools: From an Infinity nothing can be deducted or abated; nor yet by the Testimony of Aristotle, can any thing thereto be added or subjoyned. Therefore were I a mad Fool, if being a Fool I should not hold my self a Fool. After the same manner of speaking, we may averr the number of the mad and enraged Folks to be infinite. Avicenne maketh no Bones to assert, that the several kinds of Madness are infi∣nite.

Though this much of Triboulet's words tend little to my Advantage, how be it the Prejudice which I sustain thereby be common with me to all other Men, yet the rest of his Talk and Gesture maketh altogether for me. He said to my Wife, Be weary of the Monky; that is as much,

as if he should be chery, and take as much delight in a Monky as ever did the Les∣bia of Catullus in her Sparrow; who will for his Recreation pass his time no less joy∣fully at the exercise of snatching Flies, then heretofore did the merciless Fly∣catcher Domitian. Withal he meant by another part of his Discourse, that she should be of a Jovial Country-like Hu∣mour, as gay and pleasing as a harmoni∣ous Hornepipe of Saulian or Buzansy. The veridical Triboulet did therein hint at what I liked well, as perfectly knowing the In∣clinations and Propensions of my Mind, my natural Disposition, and the Biass of my Interior Passions and Affections: For you may be assured, that my Humour is much better satisfied and contented with the pretty frolick rural discheveled Shep∣heardesses, whose Bums through their course Canvas Smocks smell of the Cla∣ver-grass of the Field, than with those great Ladies in Magnifick Courts, with their Flandan, Top-knots and Sultana's, their Polvil, Postillo's and Cosmeticks. The homely sound likeways of a Rustical Hornepipe, is more agreeable to my Ears, than the curious Warbling and musical Quavering of Lutes, Teorbes, Viols, Re∣becks and Violins. He gave me a lusty rapping thwack on my Back. What then?

Let it pass in the Name and for the Love of God, as an Abatement of, and Dedu∣ction from so much of my future Pains in Purgatory. He did it not out of any evil intent: He thought belike to have hit some of the Pages: He is an honest Fool, and an innocent Changeling. It is a Sin to harbour in the Heart any bad Conceit of him. As for my self, I hear∣tily pardon him. He flirted me on the Nose: In that there is no harm; for it importeth nothing else, but that betwixt my Wife and me there will occur some toyish wanton Tricks, which usually hap∣pen to all new married Folks.