The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. XLIV. How Pantagruel relateth a strange Hi∣story of the Perplexity of Humane Iudgment. (Book 44)

SEeing you talk (quoth Pantagruel) of dark, difficult, hard and knotty De∣bates, I will tell you of one controverted before Cneius Dolobella, Proconsul in Asia. The Case was this.

A Wife in Smyrna had of her first Hus∣band a Child named Abece; he dying, she after the expiring of a Year and Day, married again, and to her Second Hus∣band bore a Boy called Edege: A pretty long time thereafter it happened (as you know the Affection of Step-fathers and Step-dams is very rare, towards the Chil∣dren of the first Fathers and Mothers de∣ceased) that this Husband, with the help of his Son Edege, secretly, wittingly, wil∣lingly and treacherously murthered Abece. The Woman came no sooner to get Infor∣mation of the Fact, that it might not go unpunished, she caused kill them both,

to revenge the Death of her first Son. She was Apprehended and carried before Cneius Dolobella, in whose Presence, she, without dissembling any thing, confessed all that was laid to her Charge; yet alledged that she had both Right and Reason on her side for the killing of them. Thus was the state of the Question. He found the business so dubious and intricate, that he knew not what to determin therein, nor which of the Parties to incline to. On the one hand, it was an execrable Crime to cut off at once both her Second Hus∣band and her Son. On the other hand, the Cause of the Murther seemed to be so natural, as to be grounded upon the Law of Nations, and the rational Instinct of all the People of the World; seeing they two together had feloniously and mur∣therously destroyed her first Son. Not that they had been in any manner of way wronged, outraged or injured by him, but out of an ava••icious Intent to possess his Inheritance. In this doubtful Quan∣dary and Uncertainty what to pitch up∣on, he sent to the Areopagites then sitting at Athens, to learn and obtain their Ad∣vice and Judgment. That Judicious Se∣nate very sagely perpending the Reasons of his Perplexity, sent him word, to sum∣mon her personally to compear before

him, a precise Hundred Years thereafter, to answer to some Interrogatories touch∣ing certain Points, which were not con∣tained in the Verbal Defence: Which Resolution of theirs did import, that it was in their Opinion a so difficult and inextricable a matter, that they knew not what to say or judge therein. Who had decided that Plea by the Chance and For∣tune of the Dice, could not have erred nor awarded amiss on which side soever he had past his casting and condemnatory Sen∣tence: If against the Woman, she deser∣ved Punishment for usurping Sovereign Authority, by taking that Vengeance at her own hand, the inflicting whereof was only competent to the Supream Power, to administer Justice in Criminal Cases: If for her, the just Resentment of a so atrocious Injury done unto her, in mur∣thering her innocent Son, did fully excuse and vindicate her of any Trespass or Of∣fence about that particular committed by her. But this continuation of Bridlegoose for so many years, still hitting the Nail o•• the Head, never missing the Mark, and al∣ways judging aright, by the meer throwing of the Dice, and the Chance thereof, is that which most astonisheth and amazeth me.

To answer (quoth Epistemon) categorically to that which you wonder at, I must ingen••∣ously confess and avow that I cannot; yet

conjecturally to guess at the reason of it, I would refer the Cause of that marvelously long continued happy Success in the Ju∣diciary Results of his Definitive Sentences to the favourable Aspect of the Heavens, and Benignity of the Intelligences; who, out of their love to Goodness, after ha∣ving contemplated the pure Simplicity and sincere Unfeignedness of Judge Bri∣dlegoose in the acknowledgment of his In∣abilities, did regulate that for him by Chance, which by the profoundest Act of his maturest Deliberation he was not able to reach unto. That likeways which possibly made him to diffide in his own Skill and Capacity, notwithstanding his being an expert and understanding Law∣yer, for any thing that I know to the con∣trary, was the Knowledge and Experi∣ence which he had of the Antenomies, Contrarieties, Antilogies, Contradictions, Traversings and Thwartings of Laws, Customs, Edicts, Statutes, Orders and Or∣dinances, in which dangerous Oppositi∣on, Equity and Justice being structured and founded on either of the opposite Terms, and a Gap being thereby opened for the ushering in of Injustice and Ini∣quity, through the various Interpretations of Self ended Lawyers, being assuredly perswaded that the Infernal Calumniator,

who frequently transformeth himself into the likeness of a Messenger or Angel of Light, maketh use of these cross Glosses and Expositions in the Mouths and Pens of his Ministers and Servants, the perverse Advocates, bribing Judges, Law-monging Attorneys, prevaricating Counsellors, and other such like Law-wrestling Members of a Court of Justice, to turn by those means Black to White, Green to Grey, and what is Streight to a Crooked ply; for the more expedient doing whereof these Diabolical Ministers make both the Pleading Parties believe that their Cause is just and righte∣ous; for it is well known that there is no Cause how bad soever, which doth not find an Advocate to patrocinate and de∣fend it, else would there be no Process in the World, no Suits at Law, nor Plead∣ings at the Bar. He did in these Extre∣mities, as I conceive, most humbly re∣commend the Direction of his Judicial Proceedings to the upright Judge of Judg∣es, God Almighty; did submit himself to the Conduct and Guideship of the blessed Spirit, in the Hazard and Perplexity of the Definitive Sentence; and by this Alea∣tory Lot, did as it were implore and ex∣plore the Divine Decree of his Good Will and Pleasure, in stead of that which we call the Final Iudgment of a Court. To

this effect, to the better attaining to his purpose, which was to judge righteously, he did in my Opinion throw and turn the Dice, to the end, that by the Provi∣dence aforesaid, the best Chance might fall to him whose Action was uprightest, and backed with greatest Reason; in doing whereof he did not stray from the Sence of Talmudists, who say that there is so little harm in that manner of searching the Truth, that in the Anxiety and Per∣plexedness of Humane Wits, God often∣times manifesteth the Secret Pleasure of his Divine Will.

Furthermore, I will neither think nor say, nor can I believe, that the unstreight∣ness is so irregular, or the Corruption so evident, of those of the Parliament of Mirlingois in Mirlingues, before whom Bri∣dlegoose was Arraigned for Prevarication, that they will maintain it to be a wors•• Practice to have the Decision of a Suit at Law referred to the Chance and Hazard of a Throw of the Dice, hab nab, or luck as it will, than to have it remitted to, and past by the Determination of those whose Hands are full of Blood, and Hearts of wry Affections. Besides that, their principal Direction in all Law-matters comes to their Hands from one Tribonian, a wicked, miscreant, barbarous, faithless

and perfidious Knave, so pernicious, in∣just, avaricious and perverse in his ways, that it was his ordinary custom to sell Laws, Edicts, Declarations, Constituti∣ons and Ordinances, as at an Outroop or Putsale, to him who offered most for them. Thus did he shape Measures for the Pleaders, and cut their Morsels to them by and out of these little Parcels, Fragments, Bits, Scantlings and Shreds of the Law now in use, altogether conceal∣ing, suppressing, disannulling and abo∣lishing the remainder, which did make for the total Law; fearing that if the whole Law were made manifest and laid open to the knowledge of such as are in∣teressed in it, and the Learned Books of the Ancient Doctors of the Law, upon the Exposition of the Twelve Tables and Prae∣torian Edicts, his villanous Pranks, Naugh∣tiness and vile Impiety should come to the publick notice of the World. Therefore were it better in my Conceit, that is to say, less inconvenient, that Parties at Va∣riance in any Juridicial Case, should in the dark march upon Caltropes, then to sub∣mit the Determination of what is their Right to such unhallowed Sentences and horrible Decrees: As Cato in his time wished and advised, that every Judiciary Court should be paved with Caltropes.