The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. XXXVII. How Pantagruel perswaded Panurge to take Counsel of a Fool. (Book 37)

WHen Pantagruel had withdrawn himself, he by a little sloping Window in one of the Galleries, percei∣ved Panurge in a Lobbey not far from thence, walking alone, with the Gesture, Carriage, and Garb of a fond Dotard, ra∣ving, wagging, and shaking his Hands, dandling, lolling, and nodding with his Head, like a Cow bellowing for her Calf; and having then called him nearer, spoke unto him thus: You are at this present (as I think) not unlike to a Mouse in∣tangled in a snare, who the more that she goeth about to rid and unwind herself out of the Gin wherein she is caught, by en∣deavouring to clear and deliver her feet from the Pitch whereto they stick, the ••oulier she is bewrayed with it, and the more strongly pestered therein; even so is it with you: for the more that you la∣bour, strive, and inforce your self to dis∣incumber,

and extricate your Thoughts out of the implicating Involutions and Fetterings of the grievous and lamentable Gins and Springs of Anguish and Perplexi∣ty; the greater difficulty there is in the relieving of you, and you remain faster bound then ever: nor do I know for the removal of this Inconveniency, any Re∣medy but one.

Take heed; I have often heard it said in a Vulgar Proverb, The Wise may be in∣structed by a Fool. Seeing the Answers and Responses of sage and judicious Men, have in no manner of way satisfied you, take Advice of some Fool; and possibly by so doing, you may come to get that Councel which will be agreeable to your own Heart's desire and contentment. You know how by the Advice and Councel and Prediction of Fools, many Kings, Prin∣ces, States, and Commonwealths have been preserved, several Battels gained, and di∣vers doubts of a most perplexed Intricacy resolved: I am not so diffident of your Memory, as to hold it needful to refresh it with a Quotation of Examples; nor do I so far undervalue your Judgment, but that I think it will acquiesce in the Reason of this my subsequent Discourse.

As he who narrowly takes heed to what concerns the dextrous Management of his private Affairs, domestick Businesses, and those Adoes which are confined within the streight-lac'd compass of one Family: who is attentive, vigilant, and active in the oeconomick Rule of his own House; whose frugal Spirit never strays from home; who loseth no occasion, whereby he may purchase to himself more Riches, and build up new Heaps of Treasure on his former Wealth; and who knows wa∣rily how to prevent the Inconveniencies of Poverty, is called a worldly Wise Man, though perhaps in the Second Judgment of the Intelligences which are above, he be esteemed a Fool. So on the contrary, is he most like (even in the thoughts of all Coelestial Spirits) to be not only sage, but to presage Events to come by Divine In∣spiration, who laying quite aside those Cares which are conducible to his Body, or his Fortunes, and as it were departing from himself, rids all his Senses of Ter∣rene Affections, and clears his Fancies of those plodding Studies, which harbour in the Minds of Thriving Men: all which Neglects of Sublunary Things are vulgarly imputed Folly.

After this manner, the Son of Picus, King of the Latins, that great Southsayer

Faunus, was called Fatuus, by the witless Rabble of the common People. The like we daily see practised amongst the Co∣mick Players, whose Drammatick Rolls, in distribution of the Personages, appoint the acting of the Fool to him who is the wisest of the Troop. In approbation al∣so of this fashion, the Mathematicians allow the very same Horoscope to Princes▪ and to Sots. Whereof a right pregnant instance by them is given in the Nativities of Ae∣neas and Choroebus; the latter of which two is by Euphorion said to have been a Fool: and yet had with the former the same Aspects, and heavenly Genethlick In∣fluences.

I shall not, I suppose, swerve much from the purpose in hand, if I relate unto you, what Ihon Andrew said upon the Return of a Papal Writ, which was directed to the Mayor of Rochel; and Burgesses after him by Panorm, upon the same Pontifical Ca∣non; Barbatia, on the Pandects, and re∣cently by Iason, in his Councels, con∣cerning Seyny Ihon the noted Fool of Paris, and Caillets, fore-great Grandfather. The Case is this:

At Paris, in the Roast-meat Cookery of the Petit Chastelet, before the Cook-Shop of one of the Roast-meat Sellers of that Lane, a certain hungry Porter was

eating his Bread, after he had by Parcels kept it a while above the Reek and Steam of a fat Goose on the Spit, turn∣ing at a great Fire, and found it so be∣smoaked with the Vapour, to be savoury; which the Cook observing, took no no∣tice, till after having ravined his Penny Loaf, whereof no Morsel had been un∣smoakified, he was about discamping and going away; but by your leave, as the Fellow thought to have departed thence shot-free, the Master-Cook laid hold upon him by the Gorget, demand∣ed payment for the Smoak of his Roast∣meat. The Porter answered, that he had sustained no loss at all; that by what he had done there was no Diminution made of the Flesh, that he had taken nothing of his, and that therefore he was not in∣debted to him in any thing: As for the Smoak in question, that, although he had not been there; it would howsoever have been evaporated: besides that, before that time it had never been seen nor heard, that Roast-meat Smoak was sold upon the Streets of Paris. The Cook hereto replied, That he was not obliged nor any way bound to feed and nourish for nought a Porter whom he had never seen before with the Smoak of his Roast∣meat; and thereupon swore, that if he

would not forthwith content and satisfie him with present Payment for the Repast which he had thereby got, that he would take his crooked Staves from off his Back; which instead of having Loads thereafter laid upon them, should serve for Fuel to his Kitchin Fires. Whilst he was going about so to do, and to have pulled them to him by one of the bottom Rungs, which he had caught in his Hand, the sturdy Porter got out of his Gripes, drew forth the knotty Cudgel, and stood to his own Defence. The Altercation waxed hot in Words, which moved the gaping Hoydons of the sottish Parisians to run from all parts thereabouts to see what the issue would be of that babling Strife and Contention. In the interim of this Di∣spute, to very good purpose Seiny Ihon the Fool and Citizen of Paris, hapned to be there, whom the Cook perceiving, said to the Porter, Wilt thou refer and submit unto the noble Seiny Thon, the Decision of the Difference and Controversie which is betwixt us? Yes, by the Blood of a Goose, answered the Porter, I am content. Seiny Ihon the Fool, finding that the Cook and Porter had compromised the Determina∣tion of their Variance and Debate to the Discretion of his Award and Arbitriment; after that the Reasons on either side

whereupon was grounded the mutual fierceness of their brawling Jar had been to the full displayed and laid open before him, commanded the Porter to draw out of the Fab of his Belt a piece of Money, if he had it. Whereupon the Porter im∣mediately without delay, in Reverence to the Authority of such a Judicious Um∣pire, put the tenth part of a Silver Phillip into his hand. This little Phillip Seiny Ihon took, then set it on his Left Shoul∣der, to try by feeling if it was of a suf∣ficient weight; after that, laying it on the palm of his hand he made it ring and tingle, to understand by the Ear if it was of a good Alloy in the Metal where∣of it was composed: Thereafter he put it to the Ball or Apple of his Left Eye, to ex∣plore by the sight if it was well stamped▪ and marked; all which being done, in a profound Silence of the whole doltish People, who were there Spectators of this Pageantry, to the great Hope of the Cooks, and Despair of the Porters Pre∣valency in the Suit that was in agitation, he finally caused the Porter to make it sound several times upon the Stall of the Cooks Shop. Then with a Presidential Majesty holding his Bable (Scepter-like) in his Hand, muffling his Head with a Hood of Martern Skins, each side where∣of

had the resemblance of an Apes Face, sprucified up with Ears of pasted Paper, and having about his Neck a bucked Ruff, raised, furrowed, and ridged, with Ponting Sticks of the shape and fashion of small Organ Pipes; he first with all the force of his Lungs Coughed two or three times, and then with an audible Voice pronounced this following Sentence, The Court declareth, that the Porter, who ate his Bread at the Smoak of the roast, hath ci∣villy paid the Cook with the sound of his Mo∣ney: And the said Court Ordaineth, that every one return to his own home, and attend his proper business, without Cost and Charges, and for a Cause. This Ver∣dict, Award and Arbitriment of the Pa∣risian Fool, did appear so equitable, yea, so admirable to the aforesaid Doctors, that they very much doubted, if the matter had been brought before the Sessions for Iu∣stice of the said place, or that the Judges of the Rota at Rome had been Umpires therein; or yet that the Areopagites them∣selves had been the Deciders thereof, if by any one part, or all of them together, it had been so judicially sententiated and awarded. Therefore advise if you will be counselled by a Fool.