The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. XXVI. How Panurge consulteth with Friar Ihon of the Funnels. (Book 26)

PAnurge was indeed very much troubled in mind, and disquieted at the words of Her Trippa, and therefore as she passed by the little Village of Hugmes, after he had made his Address to Friar Ihon, in pecking at, rubbing and scratching his own left Ear, he said unto him, Keep me a little jovial and merry, my dear and sweet Bully, for I find my Brains altoge∣ther metagrabolized and confounded, and my Spirits in a most dunsical puzzle at

the bitter talk of this Devillish, Hellish, Damned Fool: Hearken, my dainty Cod.

• Mellow C.
• Lead-coloured C.
• Knurled C.
• Suborned C.
• Desired C.
• Stuffed C.
• Speckled C.
• Finely metall'd C.
• Arabian-like C.
• Trussed up Grey∣hound-like C.
• Mounted C.
• Sleeked C.
• Diapred C.
• Spotted C.
• Master C.
• Seeded C.
• Lusty C.
• Jupped C.
• Milked C.
• Calfeted C.
• Raised C.
• Odd C.
• Steeled C.
• Stale C.
• Orange-tawny C.
• Imbroidered C.
• Glazed C.
• Interlarded C.
• Burger-like C.
• Impoudred C.
• Ebenized C.
• Brasiliated C.
• Organized C.
• Passable.
• Trunkified C.
• Furious C.
• Packed C.
• Hooded C.
• Varnished C.
• Renowned C.
• Matted C.
• Genetive C.
• Gigantal C.
• Oval C.
• Claustral C.
• Viril C.
• Stayed C.
• Massive C.
• Manual C.
• Absolute C.
• Well-set C.
• Gemel C.
• Turkish C.
• ...

• Burning C.
• Thwacking C.
• Urgent C.
• Handsome C.
• Prompt C.
• Fortunate C.
• Boxewood C.
• Latten C.
• Unbridled C.
• Hooked C.
• Researched C.
• Encompassed C.
• Strouting out C.
• Jolly C.
• Lively C.
• Gerundive C.
• Franked C.
• Polished C.
• Poudred Beef C.
• Positive C.
• Spared C.
• Bold C.
• Lascivious C.
• Gluttonous C.
• Resolute C.
• Cabbage-like C.
• Courteous C.
• Fertil C.
• Whizzing C.
• Neat C.
• Common C.
• Brisk C.
• Quick C.
• Barelike C.
• Partitional C.
• Patronymick C.
• Cockney C.
• Auromercuriated C.
• Robust C.
• Appetizing C.
• Succourable C.
• Redoutable C.
• Affable C.
• Memorable C.
• Palpable C.
• Barbable C.
• Tragical C.
• Transpontine C.
• Digestive C.
• Active C.
• Vital C.
• Magistral C.
• Monachal C.
• Subtil C.
• Hammering C.
• Clashing C.
• Tingling C.
• Usual C.
• Exquisite C.
• Trim C.
• Succulent C.
• Factious C.
• ...

• Clammy C.
• Fat C.
• High-prised C.
• Requisite C.
• Laycod C.
• Hand-filling C.
• Insuperable C.
• Agreeable C.
• Formidable C.
• Profitable C.
• Notable C.
• Musculous C.
• Subsidiary C.
• Satyrick C.
• Repercussive C.
• Convulsive C.
• Restorative C.
• Masculinating C.
• Incarnative C.
• Sigillative C.
• Sallying C.
• Plump C.
• Thundering C.
• Lechering C.
• Fulminating C.
• Sparkling C.
• Ramming C.
• Lusty C.
• Houshold C.
• Pretty C.
• Astrolabian C.
• Algebraical C.
• Venust C.
• Aromatizing C.
• Trixy C.
• Paillard C.
• Gaillard C.
• Broaching C.
• Adle C.
• Syndicated C.
• Boulting C.
• Snorting C.
• Pilfring C.
• Shaking C.
• Bobbing C.
• Chiveted C.
• Fumbling C.
• Topsiturvying C.
• Raging C.
• Piled up C.
• Filled up C.
• Manly C.
• Idle C.
• Membrous C.
• Strong C.
• Twin C.
• Belabouring C.
• Gentil C.
• Stirring C.
• Confident C.
• ...

• Nimble C.
• Roundheaded C.
• Figging C.
• Helpful C.
• Spruce C.
• Plucking C.
• Ramage C.
• Fine C.
• Fierce C.
• Brawny C.
• Compt C.
• Repaired C.
• Soft C.
• Wild C.
• Renewed C.
• Quaint C.
• Starting C.
• Fleshy C.
• Auxiliary C.
• New vamped C.
• Improved C.
• Malling C.
• Sounding C.
• Batled C.
• Burly C.
• Seditious C.
• Wardian C.
• Protective C.
• Twinkling C.
• Able C.
• Algoristical C.
• Odoriferous C.
• Pranked C.
• Jocund C.
• Routing C.
• Purloyning C.
• Frolick C.
• Wagging C.
• Ruffling C.
• Jumbling C.
• Rumbling C.
• Thumping C.
• Bumping C.
• C••ingeling C.
• Berumpling C.
• Jogging C.
• Nobbing C.
• Touzing C.
• Tumbling C.
• Fambling C.
• Overturning C.
• Shooting C.
• Culeting C.
• Jagged C.
• Pinked C.
• Arsiversing C.
• Polished C.
• Slasht C.
• Hamed C.
• Leisurely C.
• Cut C.
• Smooth C.
• ...

• Depending C.
• Independent C.
• Lingring C.
• Rapping C.
• Reverend C.
• Nodding C.
• Disseminating C.
• Affecting C.
• Affected C.
• Grapled C.
• Stuffed C.
• Well-fed C.
• Flourished C.
• Fallow C.
• Sudden C.
• Grasp-full C.
• Swillpow C.
• ••rushing C.
• Creaking C.
• Dilting C.
• Ready C.
• Vigorous C.
• Scoulking C.
• Superlative C.
• Clashing C.
• Wagging C.
• Scriplike C.
• Encremaster'd C.
• Bouncing C.
• Levelling C.
• Fly-flap C.
• Perinae tegminal C.
• Squat-couching C.
• Short-hung C.
• The hypogastrian C.
• Witness bearing C.
• Testigerous C.
• Instrumental C.

My Harcabuzing Cod, and Buttock∣stirring Ballock, Fryar Ihon, my Friend: I do carry a singular respect unto thee, and honour thee with all my Heart, thy Counsel I hold for a choice and delicate Morsel, therefore have I reserved it for the last Bit. Give me thy Advice freely, I beseech thee; Should I marry, or no? Fryar Ihon very merrily, and with a sprightly chearfulness made this Answer to him: Marry, in the Devil's Name,

Why not? What the Devil else shouldst thou do, but marry? Take thee a Wife, and furbish her Harnish to some tune: Swinge her Skin-coat, as if thou wert beat∣ing on Stock-fish; and let the repercussi∣on of thy Clapper from her resounding Metal, make a Noise, as if a double Peal of Chiming. Bells were hung at the Cre∣masters of thy Ballocks. As I say Marry, so do I understand, that thou shouldst fall to work as speedily as may be: yea, my meaning is, that thou oughtest to be so quick and forward therein, as on this same very day, before Sun-set, to cause, proclaim thy Banes of Matrimony, and make provision of Bedsteads. By the Blood of a Hog's-pudding, till when wouldst thou delay the acting of a Hus∣band's part? Dost thou not know, and is it not daily told unto thee, that the end of the World approacheth? We are nearer it by three Poles, and half a Fathom, then we were two days ago. The Antichrist is already born, at least it is so reported by many: the truth is, that hitherto the ef∣fects of his wrath have not reached further then to the scratching of his Nurse and Governesses: his Nails are not sharp e∣nough as yet, nor have his Claws attained to their full growth; he is little.

Crescat; Nos qui vivimus, multiplicemur. It is written so, and it is holy stuff, I warrant you: The truth whereof is like to last as long as a Sack of Corn may be had for a Penny, and a Punction of pure Wine for Three-pence. Would thou be content to be found with thy Genitories full in the Day of Judgment? Dum vene∣ris judicari. Thou hast (quoth Panurge) a right, clear, and neat Spirit, Fryar Ihon, my Metropolitan Cod; thou speakst in very deed pertinently, and to purpose: That belike was the reason which moved Leander of Abydos in Asia, whilst he was swimming through the Hellespontick Sea, to make a Visit to his Sweetheart Hero of Se∣stus in Europe, to pray unto Neptune, and all the other Marine Gods, thus:

Now, whilst I go, have pity on me, And at my back returning drown me.

He was loath, it seems, to die with his Cods over-gorged: He was to be com∣mended, therefore do I promise, that from henceforth no Malefactor shall by Justice be executed within my Jurisdiction of Sal∣migondinois, who shall not, for a day or two at least before, he be permitted to ••ulbut, and foraminate, Onocrotalwise, that there remain not in all his Vessels, to

write a great Greek 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉; such a precious thing should not be foolishly cast away; he will perhaps therewith beget a Male, and so depart the more contentedly out of this Life, that he shall have left behind him one for one.