The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.

CHAP. XXIV. How Panurge consulteth with Epi∣stemon. (Book 24)

HAving left the Town of Villomere, as they were upon their return towards Pantagruel, Panurge in addressing his Dis∣course

to Epistemon, spoke thus: My most ancient Friend and Gossip, thou seest the perplexity of my Thoughts, and know∣est many Remedies for the removal there∣of; art thou not able to help and succour me? Epistemon thereupon taking the Speech in hand, represented unto Panurge, how the open Voice and common Fame of the whole Country did run upon no other Discourse, but the derision and mockery of his new Disguise; wherefore his Counsel unto him was that he would in the first place be pleased to make use of a little Hellebore, for the purging of his Brain of that peccant humour, which thro' that extravagant and fantastick Mummery of his had furnished the People with a too just occasion of flouting and gibbing, jeering and scoffing him; and that next he would resume his ordinary Fashion of Accoutrement, and go apparelled as he was wont to do. I am (quoth Panurge) my dear Gossip Epistemon, of a mind and resolution to Marry, but am afraid of being a Cuckold, and to be unfortunate in my Wedlock: For this cause have I made a Vow to young St. Francis, (who at Plessiletours is much reverenced of all Women, earnestly cried unto by them, and with great Devotion; for he was the first Founder of the Confraternity of good

Men, whom they naturally covet, affect and long for) to wear Spectacles in my Cap, and to carry no Codpiece in my Breeches, un∣til the present Inquietude and Perturbati∣on of my Spirits be fully setled.

Truly (quoth Epistemon) that is a pretty jolly Vow, of Thirteen to a Dozen: It is a shame to you, and I wonder much at it, that you do not return unto your self, and recall your Senses from this their wild swarving and straying abroad to that rest and stilness which becomes a vertuous Man. This whimsical Conceit of yours brings me to the remembrance of a so∣lemn Promise made by the Shaghaired Ar∣gives, who having in their Controversie against the Lacedemonians for the Terreto∣ry of Tyree lost the Battle, which they ho∣ped should have decided it for their Ad∣vantage, vowed to carry never any hair on their Heads, till preallably they had recovered the loss of both their Honour and Lands: As likewise to the memory of the Vow of a pleasant Spaniard called Michel Doris, who vowed to carry in his Hat a piece of the Shin of his Leg, till he should be revenged of him who had struck it off. Yet do not I know which of these two deserveth most to wear a Green and Yellow Hood with a Hares Ears tied to it, either the aforesaid vain-glorious Champi∣on,

or that Euguerrant, who having forgot the art and manner of writing Histories, set down by the Samosatian Philosopher▪ maketh a most tediously long Narrative and Relation thereof: For at the first reading of such a profuse Discourse, one would think it had been broached for the introducing of a Story of great impor∣tance and moment concerning the waging of some formidable War, or the notable change and mutation of potent States and Kingdoms; but in conclusion, the World laugheth at the capricious Cham∣pion, at the English-man who had affront∣ed him, as also at their Scribler Euguerrant, more driveling at the Mouth than a Mu∣stard-pot. The Jest and Scorn thereof is not unlike to that of the Mountain of Ho∣race, which by the Poet was made to cry out and lament most enormously as a Wo∣man in the Pangs and Labour of Child∣birth, at which deplorable and exorbitant Cries and Lamentations the whole Neigh∣bourhood being assembled in expectation to see some marvellous monstrous Produ∣ction, could at last perceive no other but the paultry ridiculous Mouse.

Your mousing (quoth Panurge) will not make me leave my musing why Folks should be so frumpishly disposed, seeing I am certainly perswaded that some flout,

who merit to be flouted at; yet as my Vow imports so will I do. It is now a long time since, by Iupiter Philos, we did swear Faith and Amity to one another: Give me your Advice, and tell me your O∣pinion freely, Should I marry or no? Tru∣ly (quoth Epistemon) the case is hazardous, and the danger so eminently apparent, that I find my self too weak and insufficient to give you a punctual and peremptory re∣solution therein; and if ever it was true, the Iudgment is difficult in matters of the Medicinal Art, what was said by Hippocra∣tes of Lango, it is certainly so in this case. True it is, that in my Brain there are some rowling Fancies, by means whereof some∣what may be pitched upon of seeming efficacy to the disintangling your mind of those dubious Apprehensions wherewith it is perplexed; but they do not tho∣roughly satisfie me. Some of the Plato∣nick Sect affirm, that whosoever is able to see his proper Genius, may know his own Destiny. I understand not their Do∣ctrine; nor do I think that you adhere to them; there is a palpable Abuse. I have seen the experience of it in a very cu∣rious Gentleman of the Country of E∣strangowre. This is one of the Points▪ There is yet another not much better. If there were any Authority now in the

Oracles of Iupiter Ammon; of Apollo in Lebadia, Delphos, Delos, Cyrra, Patara, Tegires, Preneste, Lycia, Colophon, or in the Castalian Fountain; near Antiochia in Sy∣ria; between the Branchidians; of Bacchus, in Dodona; of Mercure in Phares; near Parras; of Apis, in Egypt; of Serapis in Canorie; of Faunus in Menalia, and Albu∣nes near Tivoly; of Tiresias in Orchomenie; of Mosus in Silicia; of Orpheus in Lisbos; and of Trophonius in Lucadia. I would in that case advise you, and possibly not, to go thither for their Judgment concerning the Design and Enterprize you have in hand. But you know that they are all of them become as dumb as so many Fishes, since the Advent of that Saviour King, whose coming to this World hath made all Oracles and Prophesies to cease; as the approach of the Suns radiant Beams expelleth Goblins, Bugbears, Hobthrushes, Broams, Schriech-Owl-Mates, Night∣walking Spirits, and Tenebrions. These now are gone; but although they were as yet in continuance, and in the same Pow∣er, Rule and Request that formerly they were, yet would not I counsel you to be too credulous in putting any Trust in their Responses: Too many Folks have been deceived thereby. It stands further∣more upon Record, how Agrippina did

charge the fair Lollia with the Crime of having interrogated the Oracle of Apollo Clarius, to understand if she should be at any time married to the Emperor Clau∣dius; for which Cause she was first ba∣nished, and thereafter put to a shameful and ignominious Death.

But (saith Panurge) let us do better; the Ogygian Islands are not far distant from the Haven of Sammalo: Let us, after that we shall have spoken to our King, make a Voyage thither. In one of these four Isles, to wit, that which hath its primest Aspect towards the Sun setting, it is reported, (and I have read in good Antick and Au∣thentick Authors) that there reside many Soothsayers, Fortune-tellers, Vaticinators, Prophets, and Diviners of things to come; that Saturn inhabiteth that place, bound with fair Chains of Gold, and within the Concavity of a Golden Rock, being nou∣rished with Divine Ambrosie and Nectar, which are daily in great store and abun∣dance transmitted to him from the Hea∣vens, by I do not well know what kind of Fowls (it may be that they are the same Ravens, which in the Deserts are said to have fed St. Paul, the first Her∣mit) he very clearly foretelleth unto every one, who is desirous to be certified of the condition of his Lot, what his Destiny

will be, and what future Chance the Fates▪ have ordained for him: for the Parques, or Weerd Sisters do not twist, spin, or draw out a Thread; nor yet doth Iupiter per∣pend, project, or deliberate any thing, which the good old Coelestial Father knoweth not to the full, even whilst he is a sleep: This will be a very summary Abbreviation of our Labour, if we but hearken unto him a little upon the seri∣ous debate and canvassing of this my per∣plexity. That is (answered Epistemon) a Gullery too evident, a plain Abuse▪ and Fib too fabulous. I will not go, not I, I will not go.