The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

The Second Book of RABELAIS, Treating of the Heroick Deeds and Sayings of the good PANTAGRUEL. (Book 1)

CHAP. I. Of the Original and Antiquity of the great Pantagruel. (Book 1)

IT will not be an idle nor un∣profitable thing, seeing we are at leasure to put you in minde of the Fountain and Original Source, whence is derived unto us the good Pantagruel; for I see that all good Historio∣graphers have thus handled their Chronicle; not only the Arabians, Barbarians and Latines; but also the gentle Greeks, who were eternal drinkers. You must therefore remark, that at the beginning of the world, (I speak of a long time, it is above fourty quarantaines,

or fourty times fourty nights, according to the supputation of the ancient Druids) a little after that Abel was killed by his brother Cain, the earth imbrued with the blood of the just, was one year so exceeding fertil in all those fruits which it usually produceth to us, and especially in Medlars, that ever since, throughout all ages it hath been called the yeare of the great medlars, for three of them did fill a bushel: in it the Calends were found by the Grecian Almanacks, there was that yeare nothing of the moneth of March in the time of Lent, and the middle of August was in May: in the moneth of October, as I take it, or at least September, (that I may not erre; for I will carefully take heed of that) was the week so famous in the Annals, which they call the week of the three Thursdayes; for it had three of them by meanes of their regular Leap-yeares, (called Bissextils) occasioned by the Sunnes having tripped and stumbled a little towards the left hand, like a debtor afraid of Serjeants coming right upon him to arrest him: and the Moon varied from her course above five fathom, and there was manifestly seen the motion of trepidation in the firmament of the fixed starres, called A∣planes, so that the middle Pleiade leaving her fellowes, declined towards the Equinoctial, and the starre named Spica, left the constella∣tion of the Virgin to withdraw her self to∣wards

the balance known by the name of Libra, which are cases very terrible, and mat∣ters so hard and difficult, that Astrologians cannot set their teeth in them; and indeed their teeth had been pretty long if they could have reached thither.

However account you it for a truth, that every body then did most heartily eat of those medlars, for they were faire to the eye, and in taste delicious: but even as Noah that holy man, (to whom we are so much behold∣ing, bound and obliged, for that he planted to us the Vine, from whence we have that nectarian, delicious, precious, heavenly, joy∣ful and deifick liquour, which they call the piot or tiplage) was deceived in the drinking of it, for he was ignorant of the great vertue and power thereof: so likewise the men and women of that time did delight much in the eating of that faire great fruit, but divers and very different accidents did ensue thereupon; for there fell upon them all in their bodies a most terrible swelling, but not upon all in the same place, for some were swollen in the belly, and their belly strouted out big like a great tun, of whom it is written ventrem om∣nipotentem, who were all very honest men, and merry blades: and of this race came St. Fatgulch and Shrovetuesday; Others did swell* 1.1 at the shoulders, who in that place were so crump and knobbie; that they were therefore

called Montifers, (which is as much to say as Hill-carriers,) of whom you see some yet in the world of divers sexes and degrees: of this race came Aesop, some of whose excel∣lent words and deeds you have in writing: some other puffes did swell in length by the member, which they call the Labourer of nature, in such sort that it grew marvellous long, fat, great, lustie, stirring and Crest∣risen, in the Antick fashion, so that they made use of it as of a girdle, winding it five or six times about their waste: but if it happened the foresaid member to be in good case, spooming with a full saile, bunt faire before the winde, then to have seen those strouting Champions, you would have taken them for men that had their lances setled on their Rest, to run at the ring or tilting whintam: of these beleeve me the race is utterly lost and quite extinct, as the women say; for they do la∣ment continually, that there are none extant now of those great, &c. you know the rest of the song. Others did grow in matter of ballocks so enormously, that three of them would well fill a sack, able to contain five quarters of wheat, from them are descended the ballocks of Lorraine, which never dwell in Codpieces, but fall down to the bottome of the breeches. Others grew in the legs, and to see them, you would have said they had been Cranes, or the reddish long-bill'd∣stork-lik't-scrank-legged

sea-fowles, called Flamans, or else men walking upon stilts or scatches: the little Grammar school-boyes (known by the name of Grimos,) called those leg-grown slangams Iambus, in allusion to the French word Iambe, which signifieth a leg. In others, their nose did grow so, that it seemed to be the beak of a Limbeck, in e∣very part thereof most variously diapred with the twinkling sparkles of Crimson-blisters budding forth, and purpled with pimples all enameled with thick-set wheales of a san∣guine colour, bordered with queules, and such have you seen the Chanon, or Prebend Panzoul, and Woodenfoot the Physician of An∣giers: of which race there were few that li∣ked the Ptisane, but all of them were perfect lovers of the pure septembral juice; Naso and Ovid had their extraction from thence, and all those of whom it is written, Ne remi∣niscaris. Others grew in eares, which they had so big, that out of one would have been stuffe enough got, to make a doublet, a paire of breeches and a jacket, whilest with the other they might have covered themselves as with a Spanish Cloak: and they say, that in Bourbonois this race remaineth yet. Others grew in length of body, and of those came the Giants, and of them Pantagruel.

And the first was Chalbroth

who begat Sarabro••h

who begat Faribroth

who begat Hurtali, that was a brave eater of pottage, and reigned in the time of the flood.

who begat Nembroth

who begat Atlas, that with his shoulders kept the sky from falling.

who begat Goliah

who begat Erix, that invented the Hocus po∣cus playes of Legerdemain.

who begat Titius

who begat Eryon

who begat Polyphemus

who begat Cacos

who begat Etion, the first man that ever had the pox, for not drinking fresh in Summer, as Bartachin witnesseth.

who begat Enceladus

who begat Ceus

who begat Tiphaeus

who begat Alaeus

who begat Othus

who begat Aegeon

who begat Briareus that had a hundred hands▪

who begat Porphyrio

who begat Adamastor

who begat Anteus

who begat Agatho

Who begat Porus, against whom fought A∣lexander the great.

who begat Aranthas

who begat Cabbara, that was the first inven∣tor of the drinking of healths.

who begat Goliah of Secondille

who begat Offot, that was terribly well nosed for drinking at the barrel-head.

who begat Artachaeus

who begat Oromedon

who begat Gemmagog, the first inventor of Poulan shoes, which are open on the foot, and tied over the instep with a latchet.

who begat Sisyphus,

who begat the Titans, of whom Hercules was born.

who begat Enay, the most skilful man that ever was, in matter of taking the little wormes (called Cirons) out of the hands.

who begat Fierabras, that was vanquished by Oliver Peer of France, and Rowlands Camrade.

who begat Morgan, the first in the world that played at dice with spectacles.

who begat Fracassus, of whom Merlin Coc∣caius hath written, and of him was borne Ferragus.

who begat Hapmouche, the first that ever in∣vented the drying of neats tongues in the Chimney; for before that, people salted them, as they do now gammons of bacon.

who begat Bolivora••

who begat Longis

who begat Gayoffo, whose ballocks were of poplar, and his pr. . . of the servise or sorb∣apple-tree.

who begat Maschefain

who begat Bruslefer

who begat Angoulevent

who begat Galehant the inventor of flag∣gons.

who begat Mirelangant

who begat Gallaffre

who begat Salourdin

who begat Roboast

who begat Sortibrant of Conimbres.

who begat Brusbant of Mommiere

who begat Bruyer that was overcome by O∣gier the Dane Peer of France.

who begat Mabrun

who begat Foutasnon

who begat Haquelebas

who begat Vitdegrain

who begat Grangousier

who begat Gargantua

who begat the noble Pantagruel my Master.

I know that reading this passage, you will make a doubt within your selves, and that grounded upon very good reason: which is this, how it is possible that this relation can be true, seeing at the time of the flood all the world was destroyed, except Noah, and

seven persons more with him in the Ark, in∣to whose number Hurtali is not admitted; doubtlesse the demand is well made, and ve∣ry apparent, but the answer shall satisfie you, or my wit is not rightly caulked: and because I was not at that time to tell you any thing of my own fancie, I will bring unto you the authority of the Massorets, good honest fel∣lows, true ballokeering blades, and exact He∣braical bagpipers, who affirm that verily the said Hurtali was not within the Ark of Noah, (neither could he getin, for he was too big) but he sate astride upon it, with one leg on the one side, and another on the other, as little children use to do upon their wooden hor∣ses: or as the great Bull of Berne, which was killed at Marinian, did ride for his Hackney the great murthering piece called the Canon∣eprrier, a pretty blast of a faire and pleasant amble without all question.

In that posture, he after God, saved the said Ark from danger, for with his legs he gave it the brangle that was needful, and with his foot turned it whither he pleased, as a ship answereth her rudder. Those that were within sent him up victuals in abundance by a Chimney, as people very thankfully ac∣knowledging the good that he did them; And sometimes they did talk together as Va∣romenippus did to Iupiter, according to the report of Lucian. Have you understood all

this well? drink then one good draught with∣out water; for if you beleeve it not: no tru∣ly do I not, quoth she.

Notes

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  Pa••••••rt ma••dig. ••••