The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

CHAP. XXXIII. How Pantagruel became sick, and the manner how he was recovered. (Book 33)

A While after this the good Pantagruel fell sick, and had such an obstruction in his stomack, that he could neither eate nor drink: and because mischief seldome comes alone, a hot pisse seised on him, which tormented him more then you would be∣leeve: His Physicians neverthelesse helped him very well, and with store of lenitives and diuretick drugs made him pisse away his paine: his urine was so hot, that since that time it is not yet cold, and you have of it in divers places of France, according to the course that it took, and they are called the hot Baths, as

At Coderets.

At Limous.

At Dast.

At Ballervie.

At Nerie.

At Bourbonansie and elsewhere in Italic.

At Mongros.

At Appone.

At Sancto Petro de Adua.

At St. Helen.

At Casa Nuova.

At St. Bartolomee in the County of Boulogne.

At the Lorrette, and a thousand o∣ther places.

And I wonder much at a rabble of foolish Philosophers and Physicians, who spend their time in disputing, whence the heat of the said waters cometh, whether it be by reason of Borax, or sulphur, or allum, or salt-peter that is within the mine; for they do nothing but dote, and better were it for them to rub their arse against a thistle, then to waste away their time thus in disputing of that, whereof they know not the original; for the resolution is easie, neither need we to enquire any further, then that the said baths came by a hot pisse of the good Pantagruel.

Now to tell you after what manner he was cured of his principal disease; I let passe how for a minorative, or gentle potion, he took foure hundred pound weight of Colo∣phoniack Scammonee: six score and eighteen cart-loads of Cassia: an eleven thousand and nine hundred pound weight of Rubarb, be∣sides other confused jumblings of sundry drugs: You must understand, that by the advice of the Physicians, it was ordained that what did offend his stomach should be taken away; and therefore they made seventeen great balls of copper, each whereof was big∣ger

then that which is to be seen on the top of St. Peters needle at Rome, and in such sort, that they did open in the midst, and shut with a spring. Into one of them entered one of his men carrying a Lanterne and a torch lighted, and so Pantagruel swallowed him down like a little pill: into seven others went seven Countrey-fellows, having every one of them a shovel on his neck: into nine o∣thers entred nine wood-carriers, having each of them a basket hung at his neck, and so were they swallowed down like pills: when they were in his stomack, every one undid his spring, and came out of their ca∣bins: the first whereof was he that carried the Lantern, and so they fell more then half a league into a most horrible gulph, more stinking and infectious then ever was Me∣phitis, or the marishes of Camerina, or the abominably unsavoury lake of Sorbona, whereof Strabo maketh mention. And had it not been, that they had very well an∣tidoted their stomach, heart and wine-pot, which is called the noddle, they had been altogether suffocated and choaked with these detestable vapours. O what a per∣fume! O what an evaporation wherewith to beray the masks or muflers of young mangie queans: after that with groping and smelling they came near to the fecal matter and the corrupted humours; finally

they found a montjoy or heap of ordure and filth: then fell the Pioneers to work to dig it up, and the rest with their shovels filled the baskets; and when all was cleansed, e∣very one retired himself into his ball.

This done, Pantagruel enforcing himself to a vomit, very easily brought them out, and they made no more shew in his mouth, then a fart in yours: but when they came merrily out of their pills, I thought upon the Grecians coming out of the Trojan horse: by this meanes was he healed, and brought unto his former state and convalescence; and of these brazen pills, or rather cop∣per-balls, you have one at Orleans, upon the steeple of the Holy Crosse Church.