The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

CHAP. XXXII. How Pantagruel with his tongue covered a whole Army, and what the Author saw in his mouth. (Book 32)

THus as Pantagruel with all his Army had entered into the Countrey of the Dipsodes, every one was glad of it, and in∣continently rendred themselves unto him, bringing him out of their own good wills the Keyes of all the Cities where he went, the Almirods only excepted, who being resolved to hold out against him, made answer to his Heraulds that they would not yield but upon very honourable and good conditions.

What? (said Pantagruel) do they ask any better termes, then the hand at the pot, and the glasse in their fist? Come let us go sack them, and put them all to the sword: then did they put themselves in good order, as being fully determined to give an assault, but by the way passing through a large field, they were overtaken with a great shower of raine, whereat they began to shiver and tremble, to croud, presse and thrust close to one an∣other. When Pantagruel saw that, he made their Captains tell them, that it was nothing,

and that he saw well above the clouds, that it would be nothing but a little dew; but howsoever, that they should put themselves in order, and he would cover them: then did they put themselves in a close order, and stood as near to other as they could: and Pantagruel drew out his tongue only half∣wayes and covered them all, as a hen doth her chickens. In the mean time I, who relate to you these so veritable stories, hid my self under a burdock-leafe, which was not much lesse in largenesse then the arch of the bridge of Montrible; but when I saw them thus covered, I went towards them to shelter my self likewise, which I could not do; for that they were so (as the saying is) At the yards end there is no cloth left. Then as well as I could, I got upon it, and went along full two leagues upon his tongue, and so long marched, that at last I came into his mouth: but oh gods and goddesses, what did I see there? Iupiter confound me with his trisulk lightning if I lie: I walked there as they do in Sophie and Constantinople, and saw there great rocks like the mountains in Denmark, I beleeve that those were his teeth, I saw also faire meddows, large forrests, great and strong Cities, not a jot lesse then Lyons or Poictiers, the first man I met with there, was a good honest fellow planting coleworts, whereat being very much amazed, I asked him, My

friend, what dost thou make here? I plant coleworts, said he: But how, and wherewith said I? Ha Sir, said he, every one cannot have his ballocks as heavy as a mortar, neither can we be all rich: thus do I get my poor li∣ving, and carry them to the market to sell in the City which is here behinde Jesus! (said I) is there here a new world? Sure (said he) it is never a jot new, but it is commonly re∣ported, that without this there is an earth, whereof the inhabitants enjoy the light of a Sunne and a Moone, and that it is full of, and replenished with very good commodi∣ties; but yet this is more ancient then that: Yea, but (said I) my friend, what is the name of that City, whither thou car∣riest thy Coleworts to sell? It is called Al∣pharage, (said he) and all the indwellers are Christians, very honest men, and will make you good chear. To be brief, I resolved to go thither. Now in my way, I met with a fellow that was lying in wait to catch pigeons, of whom I asked, (My friend) from whence come these pigeons? Sir, (said he) they come from the other world: then I thought, that when Panta∣gruel yawned, the pigeons went into his mouth in whole flocks, thinking that it had been a pigeon-house.

Then I went into the City, which I found faire, very strong, and seated in a good air••:

but at my entry the guard demanded of me my passe or ticket: whereat I was much astonished, and asked them, (My Masters) is there any danger of the plague here? O Lord, (said they) they die hard by here so fast, that the cart runs about the streets; Good God! (said I) and where? whereunto they answered that it was in Larinx and Phae∣rinx, which are two great Cities, such as Rowen and Nants, rich and of great trading: and the cause of the plague was by a stink∣ing and infectious exhalation, which lately vapoured out of the abismes, whereof there have died above two and twenty hundred and threescore thousand and sixteen persons within this sevennight; then I considered, calculated and found, that it was a rank and unsavoury breathing, which came out of Pantagruels stomack, when he did eat so much garlick, as we have aforesaid.

Parting from thence, I past amongst the rocks, which were his teeth, and never left walking till I got up on one of them; and there I found the pleasantest places in the world, great large tennis-Courts, faire gal∣leries, sweet meddows, store of Vines, and an infinite number of banqueting summer out-houses in the fields, after the Italian fa∣shion, full of pleasure and delight, where I stayed full foure moneths, and never made better cheer in my life as then. After that I

went down by the hinder teeth to comt to the chaps; but in the way I was robbed by thieves in a great forrest, that is in the terri∣tory towards the eares: then (after, a little further travelling) I fell upon a pretty pet∣ty village, (truly I have forgot the name of it) where I was yet merrier then ever, and got some certain money to live by, can you tell how? by sleeping; for there they hire men by the day to sleep, and they get by it six pence a day, but they that can snort hard get at least nine pence. How I had been robbed in the valley I inform∣ed the Senators, who told me that in very truth the people of that side were bad li∣vers, and naturally theevish, whereby I perceived well, that as we have with us the Countreys cisalpin and transalpine, that is, behither and beyond the mountains, so have they there the Countreys cidentine and tra∣dentine, that is, behither and beyond the teeth: but it is farre better living on this side, and the aire is purer. There I began to think, that it is very true which is common∣ly said, that the one half of the world know∣eth not how the other half liveth; seeing none before my self had ever written of that Countrey, wherein are above five and twen∣ty Kingdomes inhabited, besides deserts, and a great arme of the sea: concerning which purpose, I have composed a great book inti∣tuled

The History of the Throttias, because they dwell in the throat of my Master Pan∣tagruel.

At last I was willing to return, and pas∣sing by his beard, I cast my self upon his shoulders, and from thence slid down to the ground, and fell before him: assoon as I was perceived by him, he asked me, Whence comest thou, Alc••sribas? I answered him, Out of your mouth, my Lord? and how long hast thou been there? said he. Since the time (said I) that you went against the Almirods; That is, about six moneths ago, said he: and wherewith didst thou live? what didst thou drink? I answered, My Lord, of the same that you did, and of the daintiest morsels that past through your throat I took toll: Yea, but said he, where didst thou shite? In your throat (my Lord) said I: Ha, ha, thou art a merry fellow, said he. We have with the help of God conquer∣ed all the land of the Dipsodes, I will give thee the Chastelleine, or Lairdship of Salmi∣gondin; Grammercy, my Lord, said I, you gratifie me beyond all that I have deserved of you.