The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

CHAP. XXXI. How Pantagruel entered into the City of the Amaurots, and how Panurge married King Anarchus to an old Lantern∣carrying Hag, and made him a Cryer of green sauce. (Book 31)

AFter this wonderful victory, Pantagruel sent Carpalin unto the City of the A∣maurots, to declare and signifie unto them how the King Anarchus was taken prisoner, and all the enemies of the City overthrown, which news when they heard, all the inhabi∣tants of the City came forth to meet him in good order, and with a great triumphant pomp, conducting him with a heavenly joy

into the City, where innnumerable bone∣fires were set on, thorough all the parts there∣of, and faire round tables which were fur∣nished with store of good victuals, set out in the middle of the streets; this was a renew∣ing of the golden age in the time of Saturn, so good was the cheere which then they made.

But Pantagruel having assembled the whole Senate, and Common Councel-men of the town, said (My Masters) we must now strike the iron whilest it is hot; it is therefore my will, that before we frolick it any longer, we advise how to assault and take the whole Kingdom of the Dipsodes: to which effect let those that will go with me provide them∣selves against to morrow after drinking; for then will I begin to march, not that I need any more men then I have to help me to con∣quer it; for I could make it as sure that way as if I had it already, but I see this City is so full of inhabitants, that they scarce can turn in the streets; I will therefore carry them as a Colonie into Dipsodie, and will give them all that Countrey, which is fair, wealthie, fruitful and pleasant, above all other Countreys in the world as many of you can tell who have been there heretofore▪ every one of you therefore that will go along, let him provide himself as I have said. This counsel and resolution be∣ing published in the City, the next morning

there assembled in the piazza, before the Pa∣lace, to the number of eighteen hundred fifty six thousand and eleven, besides women and little children: thus began they to marc•• straight into Dipsodie, in such good order as did the people of Israel when they departed out of Egypt, to passe over the red-sea.

But before we proceed any further in this purpose, I will tell you how Panurge handled his prisoner the King Anarchus: for having remembred that which Epistemon had rela∣ted, how the Kings and rich men, in this world were used in the Elysian fields, and how they got their living there by base and ig∣noble trades; he therefore one day apparel∣led his King in a pretty little canvass doub∣let, all jagged and pinked like the tippet of a light horsemans cap, togethet with a paire of large Mariners breeches, and stockins without shoes; For (said he) they would but spoile his sight; and a little peach-coloured bonnet, with a great capons feather in it: I lie, for I think he had two: and a very hand∣some girdle of a sky-colour and green, (in French called pers & vert) saying, that such a livery did become him well, for that he had alwayes been perverse: and in this plight bringing him before Pantagruel, said unto him, Do you know this royster? No indeed, said Pantagruel: It is (said Panurge) my Lord, the King of the three batches, or thread-bare

sovereign: I intend to make him an honest man. These devillish Kings which we have here are but as so many calves, they know nothing, and are good for nothing, but to do a thousand mischiefs to their poor sub∣jects, and to trouble all the world with warre for their unjust and detestable pleasure: I will put him to a trade, and make him a Crier of green sauce: Go to, begin and cry, Do you lack any green sauce? and the poor devil cried: That is too low (said Panurge;) then took him by the eare, saying, Sing higher in Gesolreut: So, so, (poor devil) thou hast a good throat: thou wert never so happy as to be no longer King: and Pantagruel made himself merry with all this; for I dare bold∣ly say, that he was the best little gafer that was to be seen between this and the end of a staffe. Thus was Anarchus made a good Crier of green sauce, two dayes thereafter Panurge married him with an old Lanterne∣carrying Hag, and he himselfe made the wed∣ding with fine sheeps-heads, brave haslets with mustard, gallant salligots with garlick, of which he sent five horse-loads unto Panta∣gruel, which he ate up all, he found them so appetizing: and for their drink, they had a kinde of small well-watered wine, and some sorbapple-cider: and to make them dance he hired a blinde man, that made musick to them with a windbroach.

After dinner he led them to the Palace, and shewed them to Pantagruel, and said, pointing to the married woman, You need not feare that she will crack: Why? said Pan∣tagruel: Because, said Panurge, she is well slit and broke up already; What do you mean by that? said Pantagruel: Do not you see? said Panurge, that the chestnuts which are roasted in the fire, if they be whole, they crack as if they were mad; and to keep them from cracking, they make an incision in them, and slit them; so this new Bride is in her lower parts well slit before, and therefore will not crack behinde.

Pantagruel gave them a little lodge near the lower street, and a mortar of stone wherein to bray and pound their sauce, and in this manner did they do their little businesse, he being as pretty a Crier of green sauce, as ever was seene in the Countrey of Utopia: but I have been told since that his wife doth beat him like plaister, and the poor sot dare not defend himself, he is so simple.