The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

CHAP. XIII. How Pahtagruel gave judgement upon the dif∣ference of the two Lords. (Book 13)

THen Pantagruel rising up, assembled all the Presidents, Counsellors and Do∣ctors that were there, and said unto them: Come now (my Masters) you have heard (vivae vocis or aculo) the Controversie that is

in question, what do you think of it? They answered him, We have indeed heard it, but have not understood the devil so much as one circumstance of the case; and therefore we beseech you un•• voce, and in courtesie re∣quest you, that you would give sentence as you think good, and ex nunc prout ex tunc, we are satisfied with it, and do ratifie it with our full consents: Well, my Masters (said Pantagruel) seeing you are so pleased, I will do it: but I do not truly finde the case so difficult as you make it: your paragraph Ca∣ton: the law Frater, the law Gallus, the law Quinque pedum, the law Vinum, the law Si Dominus, the law Mater, the law Mulier bona, the law Si quis, the law Pomponius, the law Fundi, the law Emptor, the law Praetor, the law Venditor, and a great many others are farre more intricate in my opinion. After he had spoke this, he walked a turn or two about the hall, plodding very profoundly as one may think; for he did groan like an Asse, whilest they girth him too hard, with the ve∣ry intensivenesse of considering how he was bound in conscience to do right to both par∣ties, without varying or accepting of per∣sons. Then he returned, sate down, and began to pronounce sentence as follow∣eth.

Having seen, heard, calculated and well considered of the difference between the

Lords of Kissebreech and Suckfist; the Court saith unto them, that in regard of the sudden quaking, shivering and hoarinesse of the flick∣ermouse, bravely declining from the estival solstice, to attempt by private means the sur∣prisal of toyish trifles in those, who are a little unwell for having taken a draught too much, through the lewd demeanour and vexation of the beetles, that inhabit the Diarodal cli∣mate of an hypocritical Ape on horseback, bending a Crossebowe backwards. The Plain∣tiffe truly had just cause to calfet, or with Ockam to stop the chinks of the gallion, which the good woman blew up with winde, having one foot shod and the other bare, re∣imbursing and restoring to him low and stiffe in his conscience, as many bladder-nuts and wilde pistaches as there is of haire in eighteen Cowes, with as much for the em∣broiderer, and so much for that. He is like∣wise declared innocent of the case priviledg∣ed from the Knapdardies, into the danger whereof it was thought he had incurred; be∣cause he could not jocundly and with fulnesse of freedom untrusse and dung, by the de∣cision of a paire of gloves perfumed with the sent of bum-gunshot, at the walnut-tree taper, as is usual in his countrey of Miro∣balois. Slacking therefore the top-saile, and letting go the boulin with the brazen bullets, where with the Mariners did by way of pro∣testation

bake in paste-meat, great store of pulse, interquilted with the dormouse, whose hawks bells were made with a puntinaria, af∣ter the manner of Hungary or Flanders lace, and which his brother in law carried in a Panier, lying near to three chevrons or bor∣dered gueules, whilest he was clean out of heart, drooping and crest-fallen by the too narrow sifting, canvassing, and curious ex∣amining of the matter, in the angulary dog∣hole of nastie scoundrels, from whence we shoot at the vermiformal popingay, with the flap made of a foxtaile.

But in that he chargeth the Defendant, that he was a botcher, cheese-eater, and trim∣mer of mans flesh imbalmed, which in the arsiversie swagfall tumble was not found true, as by the Defendant was very well dis∣cussed.

The Court therefore doth condemn and amerce him in three porringers of curds, well cemented and closed together, shining like pearles, and Codpieced after the fashion of the Countrey, to be payed unto the said Defendant, about the middle of August in May: but on the other part the Defendant shall be bound to furnish him with hay and stubble, for stopping the caltrops of his throat, troubled and impulregafized, with gabardines garbeled shufflingly, and friends as before, without costs and for cause.

Which sentence being pronounced, the two Parties departed both contented with the decree, which was a thing almost incre∣dible; for it never came to passe since the great rain, nor shall the like occur in thirteen jubilees hereafter, that two Parties contra∣dictorily contending in judgment, be equal∣ly satisfied and well pleased with the defini∣tive sentence. As for the Counsellors, & other Doctors in the law, that were there present, they were all so ravished with admiration at the more then humane wisdom of Pantagruel, which they did most clearly perceive to be in him, by his so accurate decision of this so difficult and thornie cause, that their spirits, with the extremity of the rapture, being ele∣vated above the pitch of actuating the or∣gans of the body, they fell into a trance and sudden extasie, wherein they stayed for the space of three long houres, and had been so as yet in that condition, had not some good people fetched store of vineger and rose-wa∣ter, to bring them again unto their former sense and understanding, for the which God be praised every where; And so be it.