The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.

CHAP. XIII. How Pantagruel gave Iudgment upon the Dif∣ference of the two Lords.

THen Pantagruel rising up, assembled all the Presidents, Counsellors and Doctors that were there, and said unto them; Come now, (my Masters) you have heard (vivae vocis oraculo) the Controversy that is in question, what do you think of it? They an∣swered him, We have indeed heard it, but have not understood the Devil so much as one Cir∣cumstance of the Case; and therefore we be∣seech you unâ voce, and in courtesy request you, that you would give Sentence as you think good; and ex nunc prout ex tunc, we are satis∣fied with it, and do ratify it with our full Con∣sents. Well, my Masters (said Pantagruel) seeing you are so pleased, I will do it: but I do not truly find the Case so difficult as you make it: Your Paragraph Caton, the Law Frater, the Law Gallus, the Law Quinque pedum, the Law Vinum, the Law Si Dominus, the Law Mater, the Law Mulier bona, the Law Si quis, the Law Pomponius, the Law Fundi, the Law Emptor, the Law Praetor, the Law Venditor, and a great many others are far more intricate in my Opinion. After he had spoke this, he walked a turn or two about the Hall, plodding

very profoundly as one may think; for he did groan like an Ass, whilst they girth him too hard, with the very Intensiveness of considering how he was bound in Conscience to do right to both Parties, without varying or accepting of Persons. Then he returned, sate down, and be∣gan to pronounce Sentence as followeth:

Having seen, heard, calculated and well con∣sidered of the Difference between the Lords of Kissebreech and Suckfist; the Court saith unto them, that in regard of the sudden Shivering of the Flickermouse, bravely declining from the estival Solstice, to attempt by private means the surprizal of toyish Trifles in those, who are a little unwel for having taken a Draught too much, through the lewd Demeanour and Vex∣ation of the Beetles, that inhabit the Diarodal Climate of an hypocritical Ape on Horseback, bending a Cross-bow backwards. The Plain∣tiff truly had just cause to calfet, and stop the Chinks of the Gallion, which the good Wo∣man blew up with Wind, having one Foot shod and the other bare, re-imbursing and re∣storing to him low and stiff in his Conscience, as many Bladder-nuts and wild Pistaches as there is of Hair in eighteen Cows, with as much for the Embroiderer, and so much for that. He is likewise declared innocent of the Case pri∣vileged from the Knapdardies, into the danger whereof it was thought he had incurred; be∣cause he could not jocundly and with fulness of Freedom untruss and dung, by the decision of

a pair of Gloves perfumed with the Scent of Bum-gunshot, at the Walnut-tree Taper, as is usual in his Country of Mirobalois. Slacking therefore the Top-sail, and letting go the Bou∣lin with the Brazen-bullets, wherewith the Mariners did by way of Protestation bake in Paste-meat great store of Pulse, interquilted with the Dormouse, whose Hawks Bells were made with a puntinaria, after the manner of Hungary or Flanders Lace, and which his Bro∣ther-in-Law carried in a Panier, lying near to three Chevrons or bordered Gueules, whilst he was clean out of heart, drooping and crest∣fallen by the too narrow sifting, canvassing, and curious examining of the Matter, in the angu∣lary Dog-hole of nasty Scoundrels, from whence we shoot at the vermiformal Popingay, with the Flap made of a Fox-tail.

But in that he chargeth the Defendant, that he was a Botcher, Cheese-eater, and Trimmer of Man's Flesh imbalmed; which in the arsi∣versy swagfal tumble was not found true, as by the Defendant was very well discussed.

The Court therefore doth condemn and a∣merce him in three Poringers of Curds, well cemented and closed together, shining like Pearls, and cod-pieced after the Fashion of the Country, to be payed unto the said Defendant about the middle of August in May: but on the other part, the Defendant shall be bound to furnish him with Hay and Stubble, for stopping the Caltrops of his Throat, troubled and im∣pulregafized,

with Gabardines garbeled shuf∣flingly, and Friends as before, without Costs and for cause.

Which Sentence being pronounced, the two Parties departed both contented with the Decree; which was a thing almost incredible: for it never came to pass since the great Rain; nor shall the like occur in thirteen Jubilees hereaf∣ter, that two Parties contradictorily conten∣ding in Judgment, be equally satisfied and well pleased with the definitive Sentence. As for the Counsellors, and other Doctors in the Law that were there present, they were all so ravi∣vished with Admiration at the more than Hu∣mane Wisdom of Pantagruel, which they did most clearly perceive to be in him, by his so ac∣curate Decision of this so difficult and thorny Cause, that their Spirits, with the Extremity of the Rapture, being elevated above the pitch of actuating the Organs of the Body, they fell into a Trance and sudden Extasy, wherein they stayed for the space of three long Hours; and had been so as yet in that Condition, had not some good People fetched store of Vineger and Rose-water to bring them again unto their for∣mer Sense and Understanding. For the which God be praised every where; And so be it.