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NOW you must note that the next Day was the great Festival of Corpus Christi, called the Sacre, wherein all Women put on their best Apparel; and on that Day the said Lady was clothed in a rich Gown of Crimson-Sattin, under which she wore a very costly white Velvet Petticoat.
Now on the Vigil, Panurge searched so long of one side and another, that he found a hot or salt Bitch, which when he had tied her
with his Girdle, he led to his Chamber, and fed her very well all that Day and Night; in the Morning thereafter he killed her, and took that Part of her which the Greek Geomanciers know, and cut it into several Pieces as small as he could; then carrying it away as close as might be, he went to the Place where the La∣dy was to come along to follow the Procession, as the Custom is upon the said Holy Day. And when she came in, Panurge sprinkled some ho∣ly Water on her, saluting her very courteously. Then a little while after she had said her petty Devotions, he sat down close by her upon the same Bench, and gave her this Roundlay in Writing, in manner as followeth.
A Roundlay.
Lady for once, because my Case I told you, am I out of Grace? That you should so severely call Me to be gone for Good and all, Who never had deserv'd your Frown By Word, Deed, Letter, or Lampoon. You might deny me what I sought, And not have call'd me all to nought, Because I would have had a Bout,Lady for once.It hurts you not that I complain Of my intolerable Pain;
And as she was opening this Paper to see what it was, Panurge very promptly and lightly scattered the Drug that he had upon her in divers Places, but especially in the Plaits of her Sleeves, and of her Gown: then said he unto her, Madam, the poor Lovers are not always at ease. As for me, I hope that those heavy Nights, those Pains and Troubles which I suffer for Love of you, shall be a De∣duction to me of so much Pain in Purgatory: yet at the least pray to God to give me Pati∣ence in my Misery. Panurge had no sooner spoke this, but all the Dogs that were in the Church came running to this Lady with the Smell of the Drugs that he had strowed upon her, both small and great, big and little, all came, laying out their Member; smelling to her, and pissing every where upon her; it was the greatest Villany in the World.
Panurge made some Offers of driving them away; then took his leave of her, and with∣drew himself into a Chappel or Oratory of the said Church, to see the Sport; for these villanous Dogs did compiss all her Habilia∣ments, and left none of her Attire unbe∣sprinkled
with their Staling, in so much that a tall Grey-hound piss'd upon her Head; others in her Sleeves; others on her Crupper-piece; and the little ones pissed upon her Pattains: so that all the Women that were round about her had much ado to save her. Whereat Pa∣nurge very heartily laughing, he said to one of the Lords of the City, I believe that the same Lady is hot, or else that some Grey-hound hath covered her lately. And when he saw that all the Dogs were flocking about her, yarring at the Retardment of their Access to her, and every way keeping such a Coil with her as they are wont to do about a proud or salt Bitch; he forthwith departed from thence, and went to call Pantagruel; not forgetting in his way alongst all the Streets thorow which he went, where he found any Dogs, to give them a Bang with his Foot, saying, Will you not go with your Fellows to the Wedding? Away hence, avant, avant, with a Devil a∣vant. And being come home, he said to Pantagruel, Master, I pray you come and see all the Dogs of the Country, how they are as∣sembled about a Lady, the fairest in the City, and would dufle and line her. Whereunto Pantagruel willingly condescended, and saw the Mystery, which he found very pretty and strange. But the best was at the Procession, in which were seen above six hundred thou∣sand and fourteen Dogs about her, which did very much trouble and molest her; and whi∣thersoever
she pass'd, those Dogs that came afresh, tracing her Footsteps, followed her at the Heels, and piss'd in the way where her Gown had touched.
All the World stood gazing at this Spectacle, considering the Countenance of those Dogs, who leaping up got about her Neck, and spoil∣ed all her gorgeous Accoutrements, for the which she could find no Remedy, but to re∣tire unto her House, which was a Palace. Thi∣ther she went, and the Dogs after her; she ran to hide her self, but the Chamber-maids could not abstain from Laughing. When she was entred into the House, and had shut the Door upon her self, all the Dogs came running, of half a League round, and did so well bepiss the Gate of her House, that there they made a Stream with their Urine, wherein a Duck might have very well swimmed, and it is the same Current that now runs at St. Victor, in which Gobelin dieth Scarlet, for the specifical Vertue of these Piss-Dogs, as our Master Do∣ribus did heretofore preach publickly. So may God help you; a Mill would have ground Corn with it; yet not so much as those of Ba∣sacle at Toulouse.