The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.

CHAP. XIX. The Harangue of Master Jonatus de Bragmardo, for the Recovery of the Bells.

HEM, hem, Gudday Sir, Gudday, & vo∣bis, my Masters, it were but reason that you should restore to us our Bells: for we have great need of them. Hem, hem, aihfuhash, we have oftentimes heretofore re∣fused good Money for them of those of London in Cahors, yea and of those of Bourdeaux in Brie, who would have bought them for the substantific Quality of the elementary Complexion▪ which is intronisicated in the terrestreity of their quidditative nature, to extraneize the blasting Mists and Whirl winds upon our Vines; indeed not ours, but these round a∣bout us. For if we lose the Liquor of the Grape, we lose all, both Sense and Law. If you restore them unto us at my request, I shall gain by it six Basketful of Sauciges, and a fine pair of Breeches, which will do my Legs a great deal of good, or else they will not keep their pro∣mise to me. Ho by gob, domine, a pair of Breeches is good, & vir sapiens non abhorrebit ••am. Ha, ha, a pair of Breeches is not so easily got, I have experience of it my self. Consider, Domine, I have been these Eighteen

Days in metagrabolising this brave Speech, Red∣dite quae sunt Caesaris, Caesari, & quae sunt Dei, Deo. Ibi jacet lepus, by my Faith, Domine, if you will sup with me in camera, by cox body, Charitatis nos faciemus bonum cherubin; ego occi∣dit unum porcum, & ego habet bonum vino: But of good Wine we cannot make bad Latin. Well, De parte Dei datè nobis bellas nostras; Hold, I give you in the name of the Facul∣ty, a Sermones de utino, that utinam you would give us our Bells. Vultis etiam pardonos? per diem vos habebitis, & nihil payabiris.

O Sir Domine, Bellagivaminor nobis; verily, est bonum vobis. They are useful to every bo∣dy. If they fit your Mare well, so do they do our Faculty; Quae comparata est jumentis insipientibus, & similis facta est eis, Psalmo nescio quo. Yet did I quote it in my Note-book; & est unum bonum Achilles, a good defending Argument, Hem, hem, hem, haikhash; for I prove unto you that you should give me them. Ego sic argumentor, Omnis bella bella∣bilis in Bellerio bellando, bellans bellativo, bellare facit, bellabiliter bellantes. Parisius habet bellas; ergo gluc. Ha, ha, ha, this is spoken to some purpose; it is in tertio primae, in Darii, or elsewhere. By my soul, I have seen the time that I could play the Devil in arguing, but now I am much failed; and hencefor∣ward want nothing but good Wine, a good Bed, my Back to the Fire, my Belly to the Table, and a good deep dish.

Hei domine, I beseech you, in nomine Patris, Filii & Spiritûs sancti, Amen, to restore unto us our Bells; and God keep you from evil, and our Lady from Health; Qui vivit & regnat per omnia secula seculorum, Amen. Hem, hashch••hhawk sash, qzrchremhemhash. Verùm enim vero, quandoquidem, dubio procul, aedepol, quoniam, ità, certé, meus deus filius. A Town without Bells is like a blind Man without a Staff, an Ass without a Crupper, and a Cow without Cymbals; therefore be assured, until you have restored them unto us, we will never leave crying after you, like a blind Man that hath lost his Staff, braying like an Ass without a Crupper, and making a noise like a Cow without Cymbals. A certain La∣tinisator dwelling near the Hospital, said once, producing the Authority of one Taponnus, I lye, it was Pontanus the secular Poet, who wish'd those Bells had been made of Feathers, and the Clapper of a Fox-tail, to the End they might have begot a Chronicle in the Bowels of his Brain, when he was about the composing of his carmini-formal Lines; But Nac petetin petetac, tic, torche Lorgne, more the Deponent saith not. He was declared an He∣retic; We make them as of Wax. And valete & plaudite. Calepinus recensus.