The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.

CHAP. XVII. How Gargantua payed his Beverage to the Parisians, and how he took away the great Bells of our Lady's Church.

SOme few days after that they had refresht themselves, he went to see the City, and was beheld of every Body there with great Admiration. For the People of Paris are such Fools, such Puppies and Naturals, that a Jugler, a Carrier of Indulgences, a Sumpter-horse, a Mule with his Bells, a Blind Fidler in the middle of a cross Lane, shall draw a greater confluence of People to∣gether, than an Evangelical Preacher. And they prest so hard upon him, that he vvas constrained to rest himself upon the Steeple of our Lady's Church; at which place, see∣ing so many about him, he said with a loud Voice, I believe that these Buzzards will have me to pay them here my Welcom hither, and my Beverage: It is but good reason, I will now give them their Wine, but it shall be only a Par ris, that is, in Sport. Then smiling, he untied his goodly Codpiece, and lugging out his Roger into the open Air, he so bitterly all to bepist them, that he drowned Two hun∣dred and sixty thousand, four hundred and

eighteen, besides the Women and little Chil∣dren.

Some nevertheless of the Company esca∣ped this Piss-flood by meer speed of Foot, who when they were at the higher end of the University, sweating, coughing, spitting and out of breath, they began to swear and curse, some in good hot earnest, and others Par ris, Carimari, Carimara; Golynoly, Golynolo; Ods-Bodikins, we are washed Par ris, from whence that City hath been ever since called Paris; whose name formerly was Leucotia (as Strabo testifieth, lib. quarto) which in Greek is Whiteness, because of the white Thighs of the Ladies of that place. And forasmuch as at this imposition of a new name, all the People that were there, swore every one by the Sancts of his Parish, the Parisians, which are patch'd up of all Nations, and all manner of Men, are by Nature good at Swearing, and not a little domineering; whereupon Io∣anninus de Barrauco libro de copiositate reveren∣t••arum, thinks that they are called Parisians, from the Greek, as one would say, Bold Talkers.

This done, he considered the great Bells, which were in the said Steeple, and made them ring very harmoniously; which whilst he was doing, it came into his Mind, that they would serve very well for tingling Tan∣tans to hang about his Mares Neck, when she should be sent back to his Father (as he in∣tended)

loaded with Brie Cheese and fresh Herring; and indeed he forthwith carried them to his Lodging. In the mean while there came a Master beggar of the Friars of St. Anthony, for some Hogs Purtenance; who that he might be heard afar-off, and to make the Bacon shake in the very Chimneys, had a mind to these Bells, and made account to filch them away privily. Nevertheless, he left them behind very honestly, not for that they were too hot, but that they were some∣what too heavy for his carriage. This was not he of Bourg, for he was too good a Friend of mine.

All the City was in an Uproar, they be∣ing (as you know) upon any slight occasion, so ready to Uproars and Insurrections, that foreign Nations wonder at the Patience of the Kings of France, who do not by good Justice restrain them from such tumultuous Courses, seeing the manifold inconveniences which thence arise from day to day. Would to God I knew the Shop, wherein are forged these Divisions, and factious Combinations, that I might bring them to light in the con∣fraternities of my Parish. Believe for a truth, that the place wherein the people (gathered together) were thus sulfur'd, moiled and bepist, was called Nesle, where then was (but now is no more) the Oracle of Leucotia. There was the case proposed, and the incon∣venience shewed of carrying away the Bells.

After all their ergos, with their pro and con, it was concluded in Baralipton, that they should send the oldest and most sufficient of the Faculty unto Gargantua, to signifie unto him the great and horrible prejudice they sustain by the want of those Bells; and not∣withstanding the good reasons given in by some of the University, why this charge was fitter for an Orator than a Sophister, there was chosen for this purpose our Master Iano∣tus de Bragmardo.