The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.

CHAP. XXXIX. How the Monk was feasted by Gar∣gantua, and of the jovial discourse they had at supper.

WHen Gargantua was set down at ta∣ble, and all of them had somewhat stayed their stomacs; Grangousier began to relate the source and cause of the War, raised between him and Picrocbole and came to tell how Friar Ihon of des Entoumeures, the Funnels, had triumph∣ed at the defence of the Close of the Abbey, and extolled him for his valour above Camillus, Scipio, Pompey, Caesar and Themistocles. Then Gargantua desired that he might be presently sent for, to the End that with him they might consult of what was to be done, whereupon by a Joynt consent the Master••d' Hotel, went for him and brought him along merrily, with his staff of the Cross upon Grangousier's Mule. When he was come a thousand huggings, a thousand embracements, a thousand good days were given: Ha Friar Ihon my friend, Frier Ihon, my brave cousin Frier Ihon, from the Divil, let me clip thee about the neck; let me have thee in my Arms and must gripe thee, (my Cod) till thy back crack; and Frier Ihon the gladdest Man in the world, never was Man made welcomer, never was any more courteously and graciously received then Friar Ihon. Come, come (said Gargantua)

a stool here close by meat this end; with all my Heart (said the Monk) seeing you will have it so; Some water (Page) fill, my boy fill, it is to refresh my Liver; give me some (child) to gargle my throat withal, Depositâ cappâ, (said Gymnast) let us pull of this frock. Ho by G— Gentleman (said the Monk) there is a Chapter in statutis Ordi∣nis, which opposeth my laying of it down: Pish (said Gymnast) a fig for your Chapter, this frock breaks both your shoulders, put it off; my friend (said the Monk,) let me alone with it, for by G— I'le drink the better that it is on, it makes all my Body jocund: If I should lay it aside, the waggish Pages would cut to themselves garters out of it, as I was once served at Coulaines; and which is worse, I should lose my appetite, but if in this habit I set down at Table, I will drink by G— both to thee and to thy horse, and so courage, frolic, God save the company, I have already supt, yet I will eat never a whit the less for that, for I have a paved stomac, as hollow as St. Benet's boot, always open like a Lawyers pouch. Of all fishes but the Tench, take the wing of a Partridg, or the thigh of a Nunn, doth no•• he die like a good fellow that dies with a stiff Catso? Our Prior loves exceedingly the white of a Capon: in that (said Gymnast) he doth not resemble the Foxes; for of the C••pons, Hens and Pullets which they carry away, they

never eat the white: Why? (said the Monk) Because (said Gymnast) they have no Cooks to dress them, and if they be not competently made ready, they remain red and not white; the redness of meats being a token that they have not got enough of the fire, ex∣cept the Shrimps, Lobsters, Crabs and Cray∣fishes, which are Cardinalised with boyling; Gods Fish (said the Monk) the Porter of our Abbey then hath not his head well-boyled, for his Eyes are as red as a mazer made of an Alder-tree. The thigh of this Leveret is good for those that have the Gout. Some natural Philosophy; ha, ha, what is the reason that the Thighs of a Gentlewoman are always fresh and cool? This Problem (said Gargantua) is nei∣ther in Aristotle, in Alexander Aphrodiseus, nor in Plutarch. There are three Causes (said the Monk) by which that place is naturally refreshed. Pri∣mò, because the water runs all along it. Se∣cundò, because it is a shady place, obscure and dark, upon which the Sun never shines. And thirdly, because it is continually blown upon, and aired by a reverberation from the back-door, by the fan of the smock, and flipflap of the Codpiece. And lusty my Lads, some bousing liquor, Page; so, Crack, crack, crack. O what a good God have we, that gives us this ex∣cellent Juice! I call him to witness, if I had been in the time of Iesus Christ, I would have kept him from being taken by the Iews in the Garden of Olivet; and the Devil fail me, if

I should have failed to cut off the hams of these Gentlemen Apostles, who ran away so basely after they had well supped, and left their good Master in the lurch. I hate that Man worse then poison that offers to run a∣way, when he should fight and lay stoutly a∣bout him. Oh that I were but King of France for fourscore or an hundred years! by G— I should whip like curtail-dogs these run-a∣ways of Pavie. A plague take them, why did they not chuse rather to die there than to leave their good Prince in that pinch and ne∣cessity? Is it not better and more honourable to perish in fighting valiantly than to live in disgrace by a cowardly running away? We are like to eat no great store of goslings this year, therefore, friend, reach me some of that rosted pig there.

Diavolo, is there no more must? no more sweet Wine? Germinavit radix Iesse, I re∣nounce my Life, I die for thirst. This Wine is none of the worst.; what Wine drink you at Paris? I give my self to the Devil, if I did not once keep open house at Paris for all com∣mers six Months together. Do you know Fri∣ar Claude of the high kildrekins? Oh the good Fellow that he is! but what Fly hath stung him of late, he is become so hard a Student? for my part I study not at all. In our Abbey we never study for fear of the mumps. Our late Abbot was wont to say, that it is a mon∣strous thing to see a learned Monk, by G—

Master my friend, Magis Magnos, clericos non sunt, magis magnos sapientes. You never saw so many hares as there are this Year. I could not any where come by a gos∣hawk nor tassel of falcon; my Lord Beloniere promised me a Lanner, but he wrote to me not long ago, that he was become pursie: The Patridges will so multiply henceforth, that they will go near to eat up our ears; I take no delight in the stalking-horse, for I catch such cold, that I am like to founder my self at that sport, if I do not run, toil, travel and trot about, I am not well at ease. True it is, that in Leaping over Hedges and Bushes my Frock leaves always some of its Wool behind it; I have recovered a dainty grey-Hound; I give him to the Devil if he suffer a hare to escape him. A groom was leading him to my Lord Hunt-little, and I robbed him of him; did I ill? No Friar Ihon, (said Gymnast,) no by all the devils that are, no. So (said the Monk) do I attest these same devils so long as they last, vertue G— what could that gowty Limpard have done with so fine a Dog? by the body of G— he is better pleased, when one presents him with a good yoke of Oxen. How now? (said Ponocrates,) you swear, Friar Ihon; It is only (said the Monk) but to grace and adorn my speech; they are colours of a Cice∣ronian Rhetoric.