Six philosophical essays upon several subjects ... by S.P. Gent. of Trinity Colledge in Oxford.

That Wit and Beauty are na∣turally the Concomitants of Vertue.

IT has always surpass'd the skill of our Wits to define their own Excellency. What Mr. Cowley and Mr. Dryden have at∣chiev'd in the Undertaking is perhaps bet∣ter known and (if I may dare to say so) less considerable than to challenge the mentioning at present. It seems to be altogether as intimate an affection as even simple Perceptions either of Understanding or Sense, and though very clear∣ly known to it self, yet never can shine out be∣yond its head. I confess that numerous party of Mankind, who are no more than qualified to listen and admire, may command a faint Idea of it. They know there is something tickles in such a certain choice and order of words, but how the Pleasure is first form'd, and by what art insinuated, they apprehend but very imperfect∣ly. Nor does the Vanity of the Polytheism of the Ancients appear to me more surprizing and extravagant than their founding a whole College of Gods and Goddesses for the Super-intendency of Wit, seems (with respect to Polytheists) consistent and reasonable. For besides its strange variety of Feature, and the force of its Influ∣ence, the manner of its presenting it self resem∣bles

not a little a divine Impulse: it darts in up∣on the Imagination unpremeditated, and often violently. Its motions are rapid, and so capa∣cious its embrace, that the farthest points of di∣stance lie within its clasp, and every thing be∣tween 'em dances after its pleasure like a Puppet to the strings. It amuses the Understanding and checks it in the Carreer of a sound or false rea∣soning. How often has the Poinancy of a sin∣gle proposition, or the quaintness of a reply de∣termin'd Life and Death? No more than O! Solon, Solon, rescued a Monarch almost in the very article of Fate, and snatch'd him from the Pile already kindled, to the embrace and confi∣dence of the Victor. King Athelstan's Cup∣bearer, at whose instigation amongst others, that Prince had some years before murther'd his Bro∣ther, at length became the instrument of Di∣vine Vengeance against himself, and that by a pure Lapsus Linguae, for chancing to slip one day when he reach'd the Ewer, but recovering himself on the other Leg, that's as it should be, cry'd he, designing only to out-jeer the miscar∣riage, one Brother helps t'other; but the words, it seems, made a far different impression upon the King, and easily admonish'd his conscience to do justice upon the person that utter'd 'em. Kingdoms and States have sometimes been trans∣form'd by an Elegancy. Almost a Troop in season has taken Towns, and routed Armies. Now so singular a Privilege as this 'tis certain it most especially concerns the great Distributer to conferr critically.

Where Events of such consequence depend upon it, both his Justice and Omniscience en∣gage

him to exactness. Were it a light ordi∣nary concern, he might sometimes seemingly recede from the direction of the Plummet, and by an After-decree correct the deviation: But true Wit is a gratuity too valuable to be put in∣to the hands of those who are ready and resolv'd to pervert it when conferr'd to the worst pur∣poses. Like the sweetest and most volatile Per∣fumes it becomes by abuse most offensive and pernicious, and diffuses as wide, if not wider than before. Yet this reasoning will by no means hold universally. Exceptions present themselves too frequently for such a compre∣hensiveness, and no where to our shame more frequently than at home, even to such a pass, that Dissoluteness and Irreligion are made the Livery of Wit, and no body must be conscious of good parts, but he loses the credit of them unless he take care to finish 'em with Immorali∣ties. However, as much as these Examples crowd in upon us, there is this yet to be said, that the gloss is too slight to hold. They may ring the changes a while upon words, but the sense and the sound expire together, and the Organ of hearing is no sooner compos'd again, but the minds of the Audience recollect them∣selves, and nauseate the emptiness of the Quib∣ble. I dare say, no body ever yet read the Ob∣scenities of my Lord Rochester, or the Omnis e∣nim per se of Lucretius, but upon cooling saw the Cheat, and grew, at least in his heart, out of Love with it. Dactyl and Spondee cannot take fast hold enough. The murmurs of a Cascade may lull us in a Grotto, but when we are once come abroad, any reliques of the noise in our

ears serve only to disturb us. So that what Pro∣vidence might have prevented in the Cause, it has utterly defeated in the Effect, and our Beau|'sprits must think of giving warning to their Li∣centiousness, and listing under Vertue, if esteem is their Scope. Indeed the conditions of their Depravity are such that the Habit endangers the Faculty. There is so much of the Absurd in all irreligious Notions, as is even apt to ob∣scure and confound the fancy, or however re∣duces its pittance of Elegancies to Oxymoron and Hysteron-Proteron. A civil War presently breaks forth between the Judgment and Imagi∣nation, the former will be continually bearing down upon the latter, continually bearing down upon the latter, continuall mortifying its pertness, and disappointing its motions. But then if Intemperance goes hand in hand with Prophaneness, 'tis a desperate case. For Wit is no more proof against the Fumes of Luxury and Indigestion, than a Feather against Smoak; in spite of Fate they waft it all away, and 'tis out of reach before you think on't:

Quin Corpus onustum Hesternis vitiis animum quoque praegravat u∣nà, Atque affigit humo divinae particulam aurae.

Some Genius's, 'tis true, retain their alacri∣ty longer than others. Some can hold out a Trojan Siege; others perhaps scarce a twenty-years course of Bestiality shall effectually reduce, and there are of a third sort that are almost ob∣noxious to one Bottle extraordinary. Nay I have generally observ'd, that the more refin'd

the Genius, the more suddenly extinguish'd. Many acute Persons instead of being elevated, find themselves rather doz'd by the operation of Wine. Many again grow Bacchanals in an in∣stant, and had need only clap spurs to their I∣magination to make it run away with them. A few tempers 'tis confess'd are Masters of the Me∣dium; but none always. Assiduity in the pra∣ctice will effect at long run what Circe compass'd with a single Charm. 'Tis recorded of Alex∣ander the Macedon, that he was a man of Stra∣tagem and singular Acuteness, and the progress of his Arms declares him no worse a Politician than Commander, but when for some time he had abandon'd himself to Sensuality and Supine∣ness, he not only lessen'd his Authority amongst his Soldiers, but soon became guilty of the gros∣sest follies 'twas possible for him to commit, de∣stroying his best Friends, burning his own Ci∣ties, crowning his own Captives, insomuch that had he liv'd a few years longer, instead of weep∣ing for want of a world to conquer, he might have whimper'd for the loss of that he had con∣quer'd already. And much better it is, never to have had, than at length to have forfeited an eminency of Understanding. He who was born with common Intellects, neither knows the worth of Wit, nor the want of it. He 'scapes all notice, and takes none. He values no Cha∣racter like that of a downright Dealer, and prefers a Shop Beesom to the Bays. Whereas he that makes Ship-wrack of his Talent meets with a Destiny much severer; he carries his Ignominy in his forehead, and sinks from a Fa∣ther of Jests into the matter of 'em. There's

not half the inconvenience in being beggar'd or cashier'd. They are misfortunes common to the Wit with the Blockhead, and where cir∣cumstances and conditions do or may jump, the multitude behave themselves towards a sufferer the more candidly for their own sakes. But they never have any mercy for him whose losses are foreign to all of their own Capacity, espe∣cially if he has brought the Calamity upon him∣self, and that by methods only befitting them. This they think a just occasion for Triumph, and therefore insult without measure upon such a Proselyte to Stupidity.

D'you see that poor Dog there? (cry the Journey-men and Prentices as you walk the Street) since I re∣member him, he was a modest, sober, gentile, pretty Gentleman, and moreover a man of as clear a head, and as clever a Tongue as any within forty Miles of him, 'till we got him in∣to our Club, fox'd him ev'ry bout for a Twelve-month together, and now we've drunk the Bastard out of his Wits, we are e'en resolv'd to drink him out of all his Money too, and then turn him over to the Boys and the Bailiffs.

Besides, no Wit is so lively as that which is accompanied with a Complacency and Lustre of mind. Their Bosom-Monitor will be troublesome to Rakes of Railery. Remorse never fails to balk all their good things. Good Wits, as Plutarch has observ'd, and before him Aristotle, are the most subject to Melan∣choly of any people in the World, but loose ones lie under a double Shagrin, and till they reform, are like to play their parts but very awkardly.

The same is to be said of Beauty as of Wit: all the difference is, The one engages by the Ear, the other by the Eye. But Beauty is a charm of a more universal sway. A fourth part of Man∣kind, I believe I may safely say, are, if not ut∣ter Strangers to the notion of Wit, yet little affected with the Gallantry of it. And in ge∣neral those who are without it themselves, are apt secretly to envy their Neighbours too much to be generously and heartily delighted with it. But in Beauty the case is far otherwise. No∣thing of that seems acquir'd; and we may ad∣mire without reproaching our selves that excel∣lency in another which is perfectly fatal to him. Not that I think Wit altogether an acquir'd Excellency. For my present purpose, it is e∣nough that those who want it at home so often mistake it for such abroad. Ideots and Infants experience the force of Beauty, nay better per∣haps than Philosophers. The Peasant takes the infection assoon as the Prince. In a word, the Dominion of Beauty reaches to both the Poles, and 'tis withall so despotick as often to endanger the great Charter of our Reason. Therefore Providence will be sure to interest it self more remarkably in the assignment of this property than of the other. But how does this Argu∣ment comport with the daily testimony of our eyes? Have not Traytors, High-way-men, and Prostitutes Complexion and Feature as taking as Saints? Yes verily, more taking than those of one sort of Saints. Nay we generally incline to fancy a Padder in the Cart, or a Curtezan without her Mask, singularly handsome. And

sometimes too, yet not so often, a Rebel shall carry an attracting Countenance, though in our Country, I believe, more instances might be brought of the contrary. But here we ought to make ample allowances for Compassion, Pre∣sumption and Prejudice. We hope to mitigate the Prisoner's fate by helping out the blemishes of his defects by our Illustrations of his good Qualities. Again, we understand to what vi∣olent and frequent Temptations a blooming Beauty is expos'd; and thence infer the Wo∣men of the Town cannot be ugly. And then as for Traytors, God knows they too usually pass with the Multitude for either the Messen∣gers of Heaven if they prosper, or if otherwise, for the Martyrs of its cause, not to appear at least Angelical. Whereas these false Opticks laid aside, we shall fairly discern an air very disobliging in each of these lewd Master-pieces. Guilt, Discomposure, and Depravity pass the Pores of the Cheeks, and tarnish all their genu∣ine Lustre. For it must be remember'd that all the Irregularities of Passion and Appe∣tite are equally a Distemper of the body as of the Mind, and imprint their foul Characters in the Countenance as well as in the Consci∣ence. The Soul after its fall cannot rest till it has involv'd the body in its Forfeiture, and re∣sents it at a high rate that the Servant should fare any better than the Mistress. Yet these acquir'd Deformities are most visible in sudden and violent cases. Indignation does the seat in a trice, and creates a new face as readily as a Mirror represents it. The Forehead gathers, the Eyes flash, the Cheeks whiten, the Teeth

are set, the Mouth trembles, and the Foam boils at each corner of it, and thus the fair Me∣dusa's metamorphos'd into a Gorgon. Nor is Lust less active: the Blood overflows the Face, the Eye flames, and dances, the Postures of the Body are light and various. All Grace and Decency fly off, and the man personates the Monkey without looking so well. Of Intem∣perance the consequences are little better. It entails a ridiculous Inflammation upon the Cheeks and Nose, and fastens a perpetual Small Pox upon the Countenance. It scares a man from all use of his own Looking-glass, and ren∣ders him one to every body else. Envy poisons the Visage, but the Poet may interpose not unseasonably upon this head,

Pallor in ore sedet, Macies in corpore toto, &c.

Paleness intense besets her Meager Face; Her strutting Ribs extend their Vellum Case: Her Eyes obliquely cast their noxious Rays, While on her Heart an inbred Venom preys. Perish'd her Teeth, and Gangreen in her Tongue, Nor smiles, but when with Indignation stung.

A very exquisite Beauty indeed! and yet as much as here seems to be of Fiction, the Vizard is no more than natural. Avarice very much favours Envy. 'Tis a famish'd raw-bon'd Vice, and happier only in this single respect, that it is ever so sollicitous about the Dust, as to remain utterly unconcern'd for any thing else. Prodi∣gality makes a fine show for a little while, ap∣pears bright and gay, and keeps its colour so

long as it keeps a Support in the Pocket, but makes a wretched figure in rags, with fallen Cheeks and a lank Belly. Instances innumera∣ble might be tack'd to these, if they were not notorious enough of themselves. Yet one more I must not omit, the Dissembler. And 'tis plainly impossible for him to have, or at least to preserve any good looks from Forehead to Chin, and Ear to Ear. 'Tis a mere Posture-Master: And artificial Convulsions ruine a good set of Features sooner than natural. The most pliant parts of the Face, which are the Eyes and the Mouth, carry a great sway in its Symmetry, and are the principal Organs of Dissimulation. These are turn'd, and wreathed, and modell'd some∣times different ways at once, that to me it seems a Miracle that all Hypocrites don't squint, but come off without inverted Pupils, Sparrow-Mouths and blubber'd Lips, especially, whenas it happens sometimes, two opposite Species of Dissimulation concenter in the same person, at one time pretending himself worse than he is, at another time better. But the first of these, which Theophrastus has incomparably characte∣riz'd is much more easily practis'd, much more compatible with comely Features, altho' less in use than the other. But old men, I have observ'd, have the slight on't beyond all else, the Philoso∣phy whereof I cannot understand, for where, I wonder, should they have a Modicum of Spirits active and subtle enough to vary countenance and complexion? Such an Atchievement, if I mistake not, requires strength of Nature. To create Faces, and (if I may so speak) Counter∣faces, implies vigorous Blood and a Skin yet sup∣ple.

However 'tis certain we play our parts best in the last Act, except down right Dotage overtake us, although that too's dissembled of∣ten enough.

But to return to the main Argument, and summ up the Evidence; I know of nothing that can encourage the great Endower to conferr or continue these Excellencies of the second Mag∣nitude so much as a right use of them; nothing that can provoke him to with-hold or remove them so much as a perverse one. It asks no ex∣traordinary Energy of Omnipotence to make a man either a Fool or a Thersites. A slight alte∣ration in the Brain, Blood or Nerves brought about by a natural course will do the business. If this be so, 'tis best looking to our selves, for when the genuine brightness is lost, borrow'd Lines and bought Charms expose more than re∣commend. At last to turn Dry-Nurse to the Children of other People's Brains argues both impotence and indigence Spanish-Wool upon the Wreck and Ruins of Beauty sits worse than fresh Vermillion in an old rusty Head, though an Original of some eminent Master's. But Vertue infallibly conveys to us both Wit and Beauty. 'Tis confest indeed Socrates had a flat Nose, and St. Paul a contemptible presence, yet no question the Effulgency of the Proto-Mar∣tyr's face descended to a sufferer so eminent as St. Paul. And as for Socrates, we know his re∣penting Country-men soon after his Death ere∣cted a Statue in honour of him, which but for the Vertues of the Original had been only a most severe aggravation of his Sentence. Not that I imagine good Manners make a new face,

but what then? may they not brighten a native coarseness? may not the serenity and transport of the Mind add life to the Eyes, and smiles to the Mouth, and colour to the Cheeks? and not only so, but elevate and prompt the Imagi∣nation? 'Tis no less than a necessary effect, and he that thinks otherwise, may perhaps retain the Graces of his Phiz, but has foregone t'o∣ther thing already, that's certain.

Yet at last, as the most ingenious Mr. Collier says, no man's Face is actionable; and I may add, nor his Dulness outlawry. Let it suffice that the observation holds true in the Main. When the odds are so considerable, 'tis a madness to venture, and the more so, because when the Cargo is once sunk, there's no diving for't ever after. However the broken Merchant may in time rig out again, but a Wit or a Beauty Bankrupt remains a Bankrupt at least to the day of Judgment. The Brain untun'd very rarely and very late, if at all, settles to rights a∣gain, and faded Beauty must be acknowledged all the world over a desperate case. In short, we mistake Vertue, when we conceive her home∣ly and rough-hewn, disaffected to all the Race and Ornaments of Wit, and more injurious to a man's person, than Dislocations or Diseases, whereas on the contrary, nothing can so fairly merit, nothing so certainly provide, nothing so effectually, and to so long a period preserve both Quickness of Parts and Comeliness of Form as VERTUE.