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Stay,— Whether do I go? If I fight, what shall I hazard? My estate, my life, my soul; for (as I am taught) I shall offend as well the Lawes Divine, as Civil: If I do not, I shall be wounded in my ho∣nour. My Honour▪ I, what is that? for I must confesse (the word
of late hath been so abused, that) I scarce can tell. However, this I am sure of, that each man doth naturally addict himself to make a choice of some way gaining a repute with others; in which, if he receive a check, there is nothing can more undervalue him; hee being supposed to choose that in which he most excelled. I therefore, being a man of that condition, that doth pretend unto a sword, must run all hazards, rather then be foild in that.
Now tis true, one that hath employed his endeavours to ra••se a same another way, might passe over such a businesse as this, and perhaps it would not at all reflect on him.
But these kind of men are not competent Judges of what in us they call rash; for wee shall see, when any thing doth happen that doth concerne them in the way they have taken for to ac∣quire a value and esteeme, They will act things as strange and inordinate: You shall have a man made up of meekenesse; A man, whose life and doctrine preacheth nothing else but patience and compliance unto others; yet he will venture for to ••end both Church and State, nay, tear the world in pieces, rather then yeeld himself worsted in one silly argument.
I must then fight!
Ha! What said I? fight!
Me thinks the word doth carrie horror in it; I may be kil••'d, or (which is worse) I may kill.
However, 'tis an action scarce consistent with humanity; Yet, my unlucky fortune will force me on it; for were I one who already had satisfied the world of my courage, I might then perhaps pretend a conscience, yet preserve my honour.
But being as I am, a fresh and raw young man, whose deeds will be looked upon without the countenance of former actions, Conscience (I say) will appear but a lame and pitifull excuse.