Plautus's comedies ... made English, with critical remarks upon each play.

ACT I.

SCENE I.

Enter Socia at the further End of the Stag 〈◊〉〈◊〉, with a Lanthorn in his Hand.

Soc. to himself.]

VVAS there ever a Bolder, or Braver Hero than I? One that so well knows our Night-wal∣kers Mettle, as to trust his Person without a Convoy at this time o' Night?—But in what a fine Pickle shou'd I be, if Mr. Constable and his Watch shou'd pick m'up and in wi' me to Lobs-Pound? Out o' which damn'd Kitchin, to morrow must I be dish'd up for the Whip∣ping Post; and not ha' the Benefit o' the Layety to plead i' m' own Defence. My Lord himself cou'dn't save me, nor shou'd I perswade one honest Fellow to believe me innocent. Thus shou'd I have eight strong∣dock'd Rogues belabouring o' my poor Corps like so many Smiths upon an Anvil; and this the publick Re∣ception from the Magistrates at my first Entry. A pox of our Generals Politicks, to disturb a Man's Natural Rest, and force him from the Port at this fine Seal. Cou'dn't To-morrow as well serv'd his Turn?—Well! 'tis a cursed Plague to serve one of these Lords; espe∣cially when he hurries a body Night and Day to no purpose, and not allow him a bit o' Time to sleep in. These great Folks lye always Lolling and Dozing them∣selves,

and think they've got a License to do what they please. They reckon Poor-mens Grease at Three Ha'∣pence a pound, and caren't a Fart whether their Com∣mands be reasonable or no. So this same Slavery's a damn'd thing; but I must be their Ass, to receive and bear all wi' Patience.

Mercury list'ning.]

Troth I've most reason to com∣plain for this Days Slavery: Free by Birth, yet degra∣ded by my Father to this Employment. This Scoun∣drel, a Slave by Nature, ha' th' Impudence to com∣plain, when I, a Slave but in Name, must bear as much.

[Aside.

Soc. to himself.]

Stay, 'tis just come into my Head to thank the Gods for my safe Arrival, and the Rewards they've bestow'd o' me. But, i' faith, if they ga' me my due Rewards, they'd set some sturdy Whores-bird to meet me and beat out ha'f a dozen o' my Teeth: For, to say the Truth, I ha' been a kind of an ungracious Fellow to 'em.

Mer.

This Fellow's a little singular; he fairly owns himself a Rogue however.

[Aside.

Soc. to himself.]

Well, I see things fall out otherwise than either I, or any other Citizen hop'd for; that is, t'have us come home alive again, and Conquerors. Our Army's upon the March homewards, the bloody Cam∣paign over, and th' Enemy routed and dispersed, who before had made so many wet Handkerchiefs in Thebes. We've storm'd their Town too by the Valour of our brave Boys, especially by th' Authority and Conduct o' my Lord Amphitryon, who divided the Booty, Lands, and Corn, among the Soldiers, and firmly settled our Soveraign Creon in his Theban Kingdom. My Honour's sent Express from the Port, to tell his Lady how brave∣ly he has acquitted his Charge, and the Success o' these noble Qualities.—I'm studying what to say when I come in her Ladiships Presence.—Suppose I tell her some damn'd Wisker; why that's but m'old Dog-trick;

for I'm sure, when they were hottest in Fight, I was hottest in Flight: However, I'll brag as tho' I had been i' the midst of 'em, and tell her all what I heard from other People. But first, I must consider wi' my self what graceful Postures, and what Rhetorick t' accost her Ladiship with.—Thus then I begin.

[He sets down his Lanthorn, and bows.]

—Madam, At our first happy Arrival at th' Enemies Country, and the Disembark∣ment of our Troops, my Noble Lord Amphitryon immedi∣ately chose out the Flower of all the Nobility, as Envoys to the Teleboans, to declare his Pretensions:

That if they'd free∣ly, without any Constraint, deliver up their unjust Spoils, with th' Authors o' such outrageous Actions, and make Re∣paration for what they had dispos'd of; he'd immediately re∣tire home with all his Troops, send th' Argives to their own Country, and leave all things in a peaceable and quiet Po∣sture: But if they were so obstinate as to refuse these gra∣cious Proposals, their Town must expect th' utmost Severi∣ties o' Fire and Sword.

At the Delivery o' this Message, according to my Lord's Orders, these haughty Men, proud o'their own Strength and Courage, very roughly treated our Envoys, telling 'em,

They knew how to defend what they had got, by their drawn Swords; and therefore we had best speedily draw off our Troops from their Dominions.

Upo' the Re∣ceipt o' this rude Answer, Madam, my Lord advanc'd to∣wards 'em with his whole Army. The Teleboans did the like with their Troops from the Town, accouter'd with the finest Equipage i' the World. After th' Approaches of these two numerous Armies, each Man and Officer in his proper Post, they drew up their Troops in Battalia, we after our own Way, and the Enemy after theirs. Next, Madam, the two Generals advanc'd to the Fronts of each Army, and there parley'd; agreeing to this Article,

That the Van∣quish'd shou'd deliver up their Cities, Lands, Gods, and Selves, to the Mercy o' the Conquerors.

Upon this, Ma∣dam, the shrill Trumpets sound, the spacious Valleys eccho, the Soldiers shout on all sides, the Generals send their Prayers

to Jove, and every where encourage their Men; each single Man lays lustily about him, bright Weapons clash, great Lan∣ces shiver, Heavens high Arch bellows wi' the Soldiers Cla∣mors, a Cloud arises from the gloomy Breath of the Com∣batants, and wounded Wretches sink beneath the bloody Swords.—At last,Madam, Fortune was so favourable t' our Wishes, as to make us Conquerors; th' Enemy dropping on all sides, we broke in, and fell upon 'em with dreadful Fury. Still not a Man turn'd his Back, or stir'd a foot out o' the Place he fought in; they chusing Death sooner than quitting their Posts, and fell where they stood, keeping their Ranks after Death. My Lord finding such Obstinacy, or∣der'd the Cavalry o' the Right Wing to Wheel about and Charge; these he pour'd in upon 'em with horrible Outcries, mangling and treading under foot these Impious Men, with prodigious Slaughter.—

Mer.

Thus far the Rogue's i' the right; for my Fa∣ther and I were both present at th' Action.

[Aside.

Soc. going on.]

—In short, Madam, these resolute Peo∣ple fled for't; We took fresh Courage, pursu'd, and cut 'em all in pieces. My Lord Amphitryon fell upo' Pterelas their King, and cut off his Head with his own Hands. This En∣gagement lasted from Morning till Evening, (I ha' the more reason to remember't, for the De'el a bit o' Dinner got I that Day,) but the Night put an End to this bloody Con∣test. Next day came the Magistrates from the Town, all in Tears, submissively acknowledging their Misdemeanours, promising,

To deliver up all Things, Sacred and Profane, their City, Wives, and Children, all at Discretion.

Last of all, Madam, my Noble Lord Amphitryon, as the prize of his undoubted Valour, was presented wi' the great Golden Cup that Pterelas us'd to drink in.—All this will I tell my Lady.—

[Taking up his Lanthorn]

I must now go and enter the House, and there execute my Lord's Commission.

[He advances nigher to Mercury.

Mer.

Ha, Ha! he's making his Approaches; but I'll confront him. I mustn't suffer the Fellow to lodge

within these Quarters to Night. Since I've taken upon me his Shape, I shall play fast and loose with him; and as long as I do resemble him in Body, troth, 'tis but decent I shou'd in Actions and Manners: Therefore must I turn a damnable subtle, sly Varlet, to cut him down at his own Play o' Roguery, and send him pack∣ing.—Hey-day! what now?—He's a Star-gazing, but I'll watch his Waters for him.

[Aside.

Soc. to himself.]

Faith and Troth, if a Body may be∣lieve or know any thing, I think Aurora went tipsie to Bed last Night, and is now in a dead Sleep. Why yon∣der's Charles-Wain i'the same Place still; the Moon hasn't stirr'd step since she Rise; the Rock and Spindle, the Evening and Seven-Stars can't get down for their Lives; the Signs all obstinately keep their Posts; and the Night won't budge a bit for the Day.

Mer.

Hold to't, Goddess Night, t' obey my Fathers Commission as you've begun. You do a great God a great Service, and he'll greatly gratifie ye for't.

Soc. to himself.]

I think there never was such a long Night since the Beginning o' the World, except that Night I had the Strapado, and rid the Woodden-Horse till Morning; and o' my Conscience that was twice as long. By the Mackins, I believe Phebus has been playing the Good-Fellow, and's asleep too. I'll be hang'd if he ben't in for't, and has took a little too much o' the Creature.

Mer.

Say ye so, Slave? What, treat Gods like your Selves? By Iove, have at your Doublet, Rogue, for Scandalum Magnatum. Approach then; you'll ha' but small Joy here.

[Aside.

Soc. to himself.]

Where are your true Fornicators now, that can't sleep without a Wench? Here's a Night for 'em then; now they may take their full Swing of Whoring.

Mer.

The Rogue has hit my Father to an Ace; for he has resolv'd t' have his full Swing of his dear Alcmena to Night.

[Aside.

Soc. to himself.]

Well, now for my Lord's Message to my Lady.—

[Goes nigher and discovers Mercury.]

But who a-duce is here by our Door at this time o' Night? I don't like his Looks.

[Fearfully.

Mer.

This is the most cowardly Milksop.

[Aside.

Soc.

Now I think better on't, this may be some Rogue to steal my Cloak off my Back.

[Softly.

Mer.

The poor Dog quakes; I'll have a little Sport with him.

[Aside, making forwards.

Soc. turning on one side.]

Good lack! how my Teeth chatter i' my Head? The Man infallibly stands here to gi' me a sound Welcome with his Fists. He has got somewhat o' good Nature I believe; and because my Lord keeps me waking, he'll sweetly lull me asleep with his Buffets.—O this mortal Body o'mine! Lord, what a brawney two-handed Dog it is?

[Softly.

Mer. aside.]

I'll raise my Voice a little, that he may hear what I say, and shake and tremble the more hear∣tily.

[Aside, seeming not to see Socia.]

Rouze up, my stout Fists! you've half starv'd me this long time: Me∣thinks 'tis an Age since Yesterday you plunder'd four Men, and sent their Souls to Pluto.

Soc. overhearing.]

I'm wretchedly afraid then, he'll dissociate me to Quintus; and to the four Souls he sent to Pluto, I shall be made the fifth.

[Aside.

Mer. aloud.]

Sa, sa! this is the Way.

Holding up his Fists.

Soc.

He has got 'em both ready; now he's in his mischievous Posture.

Mer. aloud.]

He must ne're hope t' escape;—

Soc.

Who, I wonder?

[Aside trembling.

Mer. aloud.]

—For that Mortal who approaches, by Iove he eats my Mutton Fists.

Soc.

A way with 'em, I ne're eat so late; besides I've supp'd, thank God. Good Sir, reserve that Dish, if you please, for better Stomachs.

[Aside.

Mer.

Methinks this Fist weighs pretty well.

Shaking his Fist.

Soo.

I'm a dead Man. He's weighing out my Com∣mons.

[Aside.

Mer.

What if I neatly dress it with Opium Sauce?

Soc.

That wou'd oblige me, for I ha'nt had one wink o' Sleep this three Nights.

[Aside.

Mer.

—But now my Blood is up, it knows no such Gentleness; one Glance of it changes a Man's Shape.—

Soc.

Here's a Fellow will change me from Head to Foot, and set me on a new Skin.

[Aside.

Mer.

—But a sound Buffet leaves no more Bones than a dress'd Eel.

Soc.

Troth, he designs to Spitchcock me, I believe. Wou'd Old Nick had these bloody-minded Fellows. If he spies me, I'm ho more a Man o' this World.

[Making softly for the Door.

Mer. snuffing.]

Some stinking Fellow offends me to his Destruction,—

Soc.

Waunds! I ha'nt let fly sure.

[Aside.

Mer.

—And he can't be far off.

Soc.

Far enough lately.—This Man's the Devil.

[Aside.

Mer.

My Fingers itch to be at him.

Soc.

If they're so hot for my sake, good Sir, cool 'em against the Walls first.

[Aside.

Mer. listning.]

Some Voice flies this way,—

Soc.

What a Blockhead was I, that didn't clip the Wings on't, since it flies so nimbly!

[Aside.

Mer.

—Which provokes me to curry his Asses Hide for him!

Soc.

My Hide won't bear such Bundles.

[A little louder.

Mer.

I'll try ye with a Bundle of Cuffs.

Soc.

Faith, Sir, I was so tir'd a Ship-board, I cou'd scarcely crawl hither; and now I'm Sea-sick. My Legs will hardly carry single, and you mustn't think they'll carry double.

Mer.

Some body mutters there, I think.

[Surlily.

Soc.

Then I'm pretty secure; he sees me not. Who that same Some Body is, I can't tell; for I'll take my Oath I've no other Name but Socia.

Mer.

Methinks this grating Voice comes from the Right.

Soc.

I'm plaguely afraid he'll fall foul upo' my Bones instead o'my grating Voice.

[Aside, coming forward.

Mer.

Very well, my Gentleman comes nigher.

[Softly.

Soc.

Lord! How I tremble and quake every Joynt o' me. O' my Conscience, I cou'dn't tell what Part o' the World I'm in, if any body should ask me the Que∣stion. Alas, I can no more stir than a Statue, I'm in such a Fright. My Lords Orders are all vanish'd in Smoke, and poor Socia with 'em.—However, I'll bare up to him briskly, and seem as valiant as I can, to try if that will save my Bacon.

Aside, going up to the Door.

Here they both meet, and joyn Discourse.

Mer.

Whither away, Sirrah? you that carry Fire i' your Lanthorn.

Soc.

Who made you an Examiner? you that make no more Bones of a Man than an Eel?

Mer.

Are ye a Servant, or a Gentleman?

Soc.

I'll be both if I please.

Mer.

Say so, i' Faith?

Soc.

I do, Faith and Troth.

Mir.

Sirrah, you'd be kick'd.

Soc.

You lye, Sir, for once.

Mer.

But I'll soon make y' eat your Words.

Soc.

There's no Occasion for that.

Mer.

I must know where you're going, who you belong to, and what's your Bus'ness?

Soc.

I'm going home; I belong to my Master.—What are ye the wiser now?

Mer.

Sirrah, I shall stop that damn'd foul Mouth o'yours.

Soc.

'Tis past your Skill, Sir. 'Tis kept as well and as clean as any Mans.

Mer.

Still so quick? Pray what's your Bus'ness at this House?

Soc.

What's your's, if you go to that?

Mer.

Tis the King's Command, that Guard be kept here every Night.

Soc.

He does nobly to guard our House when we're i'the Field.—Prithee go and tell the People with∣in, that one of Amphitryon's Officers is come home.

Mer.

I know nothing o' your Office; but offer to stay a minute within these Quarters, Mr. Officer, and I shall affront your Office.

Soc.

I say, I belong to this House, and am Servant here.

Mer.

D'ye know what t'expect? If you ben't gone, I shall exalt your Worship to the Honour—

Soc.

Of what?

Mer.

—Of being carry'd home upo' Mens Shoul∣ders; for I'll warrant ye past walking, if I take a good Cudgel.

Soc.

For all that, I affirm my self Servant to this House.

Mer.

Mark me, you long for a sound Drubbing; and you sha'n't fail of it, if you don't vanish immediately.

Soc.

D'ye pretend to keep me out o' m' own House after such a Journey?

Mer.

Your House, Sirrah?

Soc.

Mine, I say.

Mer.

Who's your Master then?

Soc.

Amphitryon, General o' the Theban Forces, and Alcmena's Husband.

Mer.

Hah, What's your Title pray?

Soc.

Socia in our Language, Son of Davus.

Mer.

Thou'rt come in an ill Hour, Monster of Im∣pudence,

with a parcel o' mix'd Knaveries, and patch'd Lies.

Soc.

I came indeed wi' patch'd Cloaths, but not Lies.

Mer.

That's another Lye, Sirrah, you came wi' your Feet, not wi' your Cloaths.

Soc.

Right, seriously.

Mer.

Now, seriously, take that for your Lye.

[Beats him.

Soc.

Introth seriously, but I won't.

Mer.

Troth seriously, 'tis all one; and Faith seri∣ously, 'tis fix'd, and not as you please, Sirrah.

[Beats him again.

Soc.

Good Sir, be civil.

Mer.

Ha' ye th' Impudence to say you're Socia, when I am he?

Soc.

O, I'm kill'd.

Mer.

This is but a part o' your Entertainment.—Who's Servant are ye now, Sirrah?

Soc.

Yours undoubtedly; for your Fists ha' paid the Purchase.—

[Mercury beats him still.]

Murder! Good Neighbours help!

Mer.

D'ye bawl, Jail-bird?—Speak, Sirrah, what came ye here for?

Soc.

To cut out Work for your Fists, Sir.

Mer.

Who are ye?

Soc.

I tell ye, Socia, Amphitryon's Servant.

Mer.

You'll ha' the more for that nonsensical Lye. I say, Sirrah, I'm Socia, and you not.

Soc.

Wou'd to Heaven you were; then you shou'd be soundly beaten, and I not.

[Softly.

Mer. partly hearing.]

Dog, d'ye mutter!

Soc.

I'm as mute as a Fish.

Mer.

Who's your Master, I say?

Soc.

Who you please, Sir.

Mer.

And your self; what Name ha' ye now?

Soc.

None, till you please to bestow one.

Mer.

I understood ye, Socia, Amphitryon's Servant.

Soc.

'Twas my Mistake, Sir; I wou'd ha' said, So∣ciated t' Amphitryon's Service.

Mer.

I was certain we had ne're another Servant o' that Name.—You've lost th' Use o' your Senses,—

Soc.

Wou'd you had lost th' Use o' your Fists.

[Aside.

Mer.

For I'm that Socia you personate.

Soc.

Truce a little, Good Sir; and let's have a civil Word or two, without Blows.

Mer.

I agree t' a Suspension of Arms, if you've any thing to propose.

Soc.

Not a Dram o' Proposals till the Peace be sign'd, since you're so plaguely arm'd wi' those Cuffers.

Mer.

Speak boldly, I'll not hurt ye.

Soc.

May a Body trust ye?

Mer.

D'ye question it, Sirrah?

Soc.

Suppose ye deceive me?

Mer.

Then Mercury shall revenge it on Socia.

Soc.

Now observe, Sir. Since I've leave to speak freely, I am Socia, Amphitryon's Man.

Mer.

At it again, Sirrah?

[Holding up his Fist.

Soc.

Since the Peace is made, and th' Articles sign'd; I affirm it to be true.

Mer.

Rogue, look to your self.

Soc.

You may act, Sir, as you please, as long as you are so plaguely arm'd wi' those Cu•…•…ers. Do your best, but, by Hercules, I ll not bate y'an Ace i' this Point.

Mer.

As long as I'm here, you mustn't think to make me any thing but Socia.

Soc.

Nor, Faith, shall you make me any thing but Amphitryon's Servant. I'll be sworn, the•…•…e's ne're ano∣ther S•…•…cia in our Family, that attended the General i'th' Army.

Mer.

The Fellow's possest wi' Madness.

Soc.

That's your Worships Distemper.—

[He walks, and studies by himself.]

What a murrain, Am not I Am∣phitryon's Man Socia? Didn't I come to Night on Ship∣board from th' Euboan Port? Wasn't I sent •…•…ither by my

Lord? Don't I stand before our own doors? Isn't this a Lanthorn i' my hand? Don't I speak? Am not I a∣wake? Was't not I soundly drubb'd just now? In good Faith, I was; and am most sensible o'that, witness my poor Chops.—But why aduce do I stand fooling thus? Why don't I get into our House?

[He makes for the Door.

Mer. getting between.]

How, your House?

Soc.

Certainly true.

Mer.

Certainly a Lye from the Beginning to th' End∣ing. I'm Amphitryon's Man Socia; for this Night our Vessel return'd from th' Euboan Bay. We Took King Pterelas's Town by Storm, intirely defeated the Tele∣boans, and Amphitryon cut off Pterelas's Head with his own Hand.

Soc. aside.]

I can scarce believe my Senses, when I hear him relate Things so: Troth he remembers every Thing ad unguem.—

[To him]

But hark ye, Sir, what was Amphitryon Presented withal?

Mer.

The Golden Cup that Pterelas us'd to drink in.

Soc. aside]

He has hit it again.—

[To him.]

But where's the Cup now, Sir?

Mer.

In a Basket, seal'd with Amphitryon's Signet.

Soc.

What are the Arms?

Mer.

Sol rising, with his fiery Chariot.—D'ye lye upo' the Catch, Rascal?

Soc. aside.]

He has mawl'd me with his Arguments, and I must provide me another Name. How a fire cou'd he see all this? I shall trap him at last; for the Devil's in him if he tells what I did by my self i'the Tent, for not a Soul was there besides.—

[To him.]

If you be that individual Socia, How did you pass away your Time i'the Tent when both Armies were en∣gag'd?—Tell me but that, and I yield.

Mer.

There stood a Pipe o' Wine; from whence I fill'd out a Jack,—

Soc.

Exactly right.

Mer.

And swallow'd it down pure, as it came from the Grape.

Soc.

O the Devil! He must ha' hid himself i' that Jack: Certainly so; for I drunk it without a drop o' Water in't.

[Aside.

Mer.

What now? Are ye satisfy'd you're none o' Socia?

Soc.

Will you prove it?

Mer.

What need o' Proofs, when I'm he?

Soc.

By Iove I'm he, and 'tis as true as the Gospel.

Mer.

By Mercury, Iove won't believe ye a Tittle: And I'm sure he'll take my Word, sooner than your Oath.

Soc.

Who am I, if I ben't Socia? Answer me that.

Mer.

When I'm weary o' being Socia, you may be Socia again. But, now I'm he, I'll beat ye to mummy, you scoundrel Dog, if you don't troop off.

Soc. looking round about him.]

By the Mackins, now I view his Phiz well, methinks I see the very same Air and Meen I've often seen in a Glass, he's so damnably like me. The very same Hat, and Coat, for all the World; he has a plaguy Resemblance o' me. Let me see, Calfs, Feet, Height, Baldness, Eyes, Nose, Teeth, Lips, Jaws, Chin, Beard, Neck; in fine, right me all over. If his Back were but as well lac'd with some cer∣tain Scars, two Pease cou'dn't be more alike.—But now I recollect my self, know I'm undoubtedly the same Person as ever, know my Master, know this House, find that I've my Wit and Senses about me, I'll be hang'd if I believe a Word o' this Stuff. I'll knock at a Venture.

[Offers at the Door.

Mer.

Whither go ye, Sirrah?

Soc.

Home.

Mer.

Do; and were you mounted on Iove's Cha∣riot in its full Career, it shou'dn't protect ye.

Soc.

Mayn't I deliver a civil Message to my Lady?

Mer.

To your own Lady, what you please; but no

Message to mine. If ye once provoke me, I'll make all your Bones rattle i'your Hide.

Soc.

I'll use my Legs first.—

[Going off, the while he is speaking the rest.]

Heavens ha' mercy upo' me! Where shou'd I lose this Shape o' mine. Did I leave my self behind me, or forget to take my self along wi' me to the Campaign? for, troth, this Fellow has got all the Shape I ever had. He has erected my Statue i'my Life-time; I'll be sworn no body will honour me so much after I'm dead and gone.—Well, I'll beat it back upo' the Hoof to my Lord, and tell him this strange Story. If he disowns me (as Heaven grant he may) I'll immediately throw off my Slaves Habit, and take upo' me that of a Free-man o' the Town.

Exit Socia.

SCENE II.

Mercury addresses himself to the Spectators, and goes on with the Prologue.

SO, Gentlemen, Things go rarely, and prosperously on our side. I've remov'd the greatest Obstacle, so that my Father may securely reap the Fruit of his Cuckoldom.—Now when this Fellow comes to tell his Master, That his Servant Socia drive him from the Door, he'll take it for a damn'd Lye, and believe the Rogue was ne're there, as he order'd him. Thus shall I bring them two, and the whole Family, into nothing but Mistakes and Confusion, till my Father have had his Belly full of his Mistress. But at last they'll come to a right Understanding of all Things, and Jove will bring his Mistress into as great Fa∣vour

with her Husband as ever. For certainly, Amphitryon will be in a plaguy fret, and call his Wife Whore; but my Father will reconcile all Dif∣ferences.

Now, Gallants, for something about Alcmena; for I've said little of her yet. This Day shall she be brought to Bed o' two Boys, one o' ten Months growth, th' other o' seven; the first by Amphitryon, the se∣cond by Jupiter; so the youngest Child will ha' the Superiority by his Father, and th' eldest th' Inferio∣rity by his. D'ye comprehend the Mystery?—How∣ever my Father's so tender of Alcmena, he'll ha' both come together, and both the painful Labours at one Lying-in; and likewise to prevent all Suspicions of Scandal on her side, and Cuckoldom on his. 'Tis true, Amphitryon, as I said before, will know all. But granting that, no body will think the worse of Alcmena for't; for 'tis beneath a Deity to suffer a poor Mortal to bear the Blame of his own failings.—Hold, I must shorten my Story; the Door goes; and here comes Amphitryon in Effigie, with Alcmena, a Wife he has taken up at Usury.

SCENE III.

Enter Jupiter in Amphitryon's Shape, with Alcmena in her Night-Dress, big with Child; attended with Lights, &c.

Iup.

Farewel, my dear Alcmena: Pray be careful o' the main Chance, and don't worry your self; you see you're gone your full time. I'm oblig'd to leave ye now,

and prithee take care o' the bringing up the Child.

Alc.

What pressing Affairs can ye have, my Lord, to drive ye away in such haste?

Iup.

Upon Honour, 'tis n't your Company, or any thing i'the House I'm weary of: But when a General's from his Army, Disorders will follow soone•…•… than good Discipline.

Mer.

Troth, my Daddy's the cleveres•…•… Impostor. How sweetly he smuggles the Lady?

[Aside.

Alc.

Yes, indeed, I find what a wonderful Kindness ye have for your poor Wife.

Iup.

Why, I love ye more than any other o' your Sex; won't that satisfie ye?

Mer.

Faith, Father mine; if your Lady shou'd find out the Cheat, I'll be sworn you'd gladly change your Ioveship to be plain Amphitryon.

[Aside.

Alc.

I'd rather experience your Love, than fancy't. You leave me before you were well warm i'your Bed. You came to me at Mid-night, and presently after, you're gone; Is this kindly done?

Mer. aside.]

I'll to her, and tickle her up as my Father has done.—

[To Alcmena bowing.]

As I hope for Mercy, Madam, I believe there's not a Man under the Cope of Heaven so desperately loves his Lady, and so desperately lang•…•…ishes as my Lord does.

Iup.

Rascal, I know your Tricks, Out o'my sight. How dare you meddle in our Business, Rogue? If I take my Cane, I'll—

Alc.

Let him alone, my Dear.

Iup.

Speak another Word, Sirrah—

Mer.

My first wheadling Complement succeeded but very indifferently.

[Aside.

Iup.

For what you complain of, my Dear, introth you must not be angry wi' me. I left my Army Incog∣nito, to fly to your Embraces, and be the first kind Mes∣senger o' my Fortune i'the Publick, and of all that pass'd abroad. Cou'd I ha' done this if I lov'd after an ord'na∣ry rate?

Mer.

Just as I said. How this stroaking chears her.

[Aside.

Iup.

I must return Incognito too; for if I'm once discover'd, the censorious World will say, I much pre∣ferr'd a Wife to the Publick.

Alc.

'Tis a doleful Departure for your Alcmena.

[Weeps.

Iup.

Pray don't spoil those pretty Eyes. I'll be back in a moment.

Alc.

'Twill be a long time to that moment.

Iup.

'Tis wi' vast Regret I go, and part from ye thus.

Alc.

So it seems, indeed, by your coming and part∣ing i'the same Night.

Iup.

Why dost hold me? 'Tis high time now; for I must be out o'the City before Day-light. I' the mean time I present ye wi' this Golden Cup, the Reward o' my Success, and the very same that Pterelas drunk in, whom I slew wi' my own hand.

[Gives her a Golden Cup.

Alc.

Now you keep close to your old Kindness.—By Heaven, a noble Gift, worthy o' the Giver.

Mer. bowing.]

A noble Gift indeed, and worthy o' the Receiver.

Iup.

At it again, Rascal? Can I never beat y' into better Manners?

Alc.

Pray, my Lord, ben't angry wi' poor Socia upo' my Account.

Iup.

I can deny you nothing.

Mer.

This same Gallanting has put him damnably out of Humour.

[Aside.

Iup.

Dost want any thing else, my Love?

Alc.

Nothing, my Lord, but t'have ye love me ab∣sent as well as present.

Mer.

Let's be going, Sir; 'tis just Break o' Day.

Iup.

Go you besote, Socia; I'll follow immediately.

Exit Mercury.

SCENE IV.

Iupiter, Alcmena, and Attendants.

Iup.

Hast any thing more to ask?

Alc.

Yes, my Lord, your speedy Return.

Iup.

It shall be.—I'll be wi' ye again before y'ex∣pect me: mean time, pray be satisfied.

Exit Alcmena and Attendants.

SCENE V.

Iupiter alone.

Iup. looking up.]

Now, Goddess Night, who has wait∣ed so long, I dismiss ye. Make room for the Day, to cherish Mortals with a bright and glorious Sunshine.—

[Going off.]

This has been a longer Night than ord'na∣ry; I'll make the Day the shorter, and set one against th' other to bring Things to rights again.—I'll fol∣low Mercury.

Exit Jupiter.

The End of the First Act.