Plautus's comedies ... made English, with critical remarks upon each play.

SCENE VI.

To them enter Demones, dragging Labrax out of the Temple.

Dem.

Come out, you vile Sacrilegious Dog.—

[to the Women]

Keep close to th' Altar.—Where are my Men?

[To Trachalio.

Tra.

Here, Sir.

Dem.

Best of all.

Ser.

We're ready for Execution, Sir: Command M. Bawd but to draw nigh.

[Labrax makes for the Altar.

Dem. to Labrax]

Shall a Rascal o' no Religion pre∣tend to Sacrifice with us?—

[to the Servants]

Beat his Teeth down his Throat, I say.

[The Servants strike him.

Lab.

I receive th' Affront, but 'tshall be to your Cost.

Dem.

Dos th'Impudent Cur grumble?

Lab.

I'm rob'd o'my Goods, and my Women ravish∣ed out o'my Hands!

Tra.

Then appeal to the Senate's Determination, whether they be your Slaves, or Free-born; and whe∣ther your Rogueship don't deserve to lay i'th •…•…ail as long as the Walls hang together.

Lab.

'Tis none o'my bus'ness to stand prating with a beggarly Slave.—My Bus'ness is wi' you.

[To Demones

Dem.

Pray address your self first to him who knows your Worship.

Lab.

Well, I do then.

Tra.

So y' ought.—Do these Girls belong to you?

Lab.

Yes, they do.

Tra.

Come on then, touch one of'em wi' your little Finger, if you dare, Sirrah.

Lab.

What if I do?

Tra.

'Sbud, you Dog, I'll toss your Carkass like a Foot-Ball, and kick ye to a Jelly, you perjur'd Rogue.

Lab.

May n't I take m' own Goods from the Al∣tar?

Dem.

No, Sirrah; and that's our Law.

Lab.

I've nothing to do wi' your Laws; but I'll streight away with 'em both. I tell ye, Old Man, if your Mouth waters at one of 'em, pay me down the Ready.

Dem.

They're Venus's Favourites now.

Lab.

Let Venus pay for 'em then, and take 'em.

Dem

She pay for 'em, Sirrah?—Hear what I say: Offer the least Violence to 'm, tho but in jeast, I'll gi' ye such a trimming, that you shan't know your self.—

[to the Servants]

And hark ye, when I gi' the Sign, if you don't beat his Eyes o•…•…t of his Head, I'll lash ye, till your Backs be as 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Furrows as the Sea wi' Waves:

Lab.

You wou'd n't offer Violence?

Tra.

Dare such a canker'd Rascal as you reproach us wi' Violence?

Lab.

You Hell-hound, dare you be so impudent to me?

Tra.

Suppose I'm a Hell-hound, and you the honest∣est Man alive; these Girls are free-born ne'rtheless for that.

Lab.

How free-born?

Tra.

Ay, Faith, and your own Mistresses too, Gre∣cians both. One of 'em is an Athenian, of a very good Family.

Dem.

What's that you say?

Tra. pointing to Palestra]

That this is free-born of Athens.

Dem.

My own Country, as I hope to live!

Tra.

Arn't you a Cyrenian, Sir?

Dem.

No; I had my Birth, Nourishment, and Edu∣cation at Athens.

Tra.

Pray, Sir, then stand by your own Country∣women.

Dem.

Ah, my poor Daughter! the sight o' this, brings my former Trouble to remembrance. I lost her at three Years of Age, and if she be living, she's just such another.

[Aside.

Lab.

I'm sure I paid honestly for 'em to th'Owner; what care I a Fart whether they were born at Athens, or Thebes, since they're lawfully become my Slaves?

Tra.

Pandering Dog, d'ye pretend to detain Gentle∣men's Daughters, kid-napp'd from their Parents, and make 'em a Prey to your silly Trade? Who th'other is I amn't be sure, but I know her to be ten times better than your self, you nasty Carrion.

Lab.

Prove that, can ye?

Tra.

Strip then, and our Backs shall be Judge who's most to be trusted. If you have not more Remembrances on yours, than there's Pins in a Man o' War, I'm the veriest Lyer upo' the Face o' th' Earth. After your

Skin be shewn, mine shall; and you'll find it so clear, that ne'r a Workman i'the Land but will say 'tis whole and tite enough for a Wine-Bag.—But why don't I jerk this Dog as long as I can stand over him?—Why d'ye stare so at 'em? Touch 'em, and out-go both your Eyes.

Lab.

Because you say so, I'll have 'em both

Going away.

away

Dem.

Why, what will you do?

Lab.

By Vulcan's Help, fire 'em out o'their Nests; for he's an Enemy to Venus.

[He goes out of the Court towards Demones's Door.]

Dem.

Where goes he?

Lab. by Demones's House]

So ho, within there!—So ho!

Dem.

Touch that Door, Sirrah, and, Faith, I'll make ye glad to glean up your scatter'd Teeth.

Ser.

We keep no Fires; for we live all upon dry'd Figs.

Dem.

I'll help ye to Fire, if that Steel-Face will strike a Light.

Lab.

'Sbud, I'll find Fire somewhere.

Dem.

What will ye do, when ye have found it?

Lab.

Make a swinging Pile upo' th' Altar.

Dem.

What to sacrifice your self?

Lab.

No, to burn 'em both alive, where they are.

Dem.

I'd fain see that. And, as I live, I'll catch ye by the Beard, throw y'into the Fire, and hang y' up, half roasted, for Crows-Meat.—Now I consider of 't, this must be th'Ape I dreamt of, that wou'd needs take the young Swallows from their Nest, whether I wou'd or no.

[Aside,

Tra.

D'ye mind what I say, Sir?—Good old Gentleman, defend the poor Girls by main Force, while I go fetch my Master.

Dem.

Go, and find him out.

Tra.

But have a special care this Rascal—

Dem.

He had better hang himself than touch one of 'em, or make the least Disturbance.

Tra.

going out of the Court] Take care, Sir.

Dem.

I'll warrant ye.—make haste.

Tra.

Take care too, that this Dog don't gi' ye the slip: For my Master's bound in a Bond to deliver this Whore's Bud to the Jailer, upon Forfeiture of a full Talent.

[Exit Trachalio.