Plautus's comedies ... made English, with critical remarks upon each play.

SCENE V.

Enter Blepharon and Socia at the further End of the Stage, talking together.

Ble.

—How's this, Socia? 'Tis the strangest Story I ever heard. Did ye meet with another Socia at the Door just o' your own Shape, say ye?

Soc.

Yes.—But hark ye, Sir; since I've spawn'd another Socia, and my Lord another Amphitryon, who knows but you may another Belpharon. Wou'd to Hea∣ven you were but as well convinc'd, at th' Expence of a swell'd Chaps, broken Teeth, and an empty Belly as I am. For t'other I-Socia, that am yonder, swindg'd me, and made a poor Rogue o' me.

Ble.

Prodigious, I swear!—But let's mend our Pace tho', for yonder's his Lordship staying for us; and truly my Stomach begins to wamble.

Amp. to himself.]

—But why do I mention Foreign Prodigies; since we're told stranger Stories of our City's Founder? This mighty Prince, in quest of Europa, slew the dreadful Monster, from whose scatter'd Teeth sprung Arm'd Troops, in order rang'd, where Brothers baited Brothers to Death. After all, Epirus saw the same great Person and his Wife, crawl about in Serpents

Shapes. All this was great Iove's Will, and the Decree of Fate. The best of our Family have had their noble Exploits rewarded with dire Misfortunes. 'Tis my De∣stiny, and I must sustain these Shocks o' Misery, and take off these unsufferable Potions.—

Soc.

Mr. Blepharon!

[Fearfully.

Ble.

What?

Soc.

My Mind misgives me plaguely.

Ble.

Why.

Soc.

Look ye; yonder he walks before his Door, waiting like a Parasite to bid his Lordship Good morrow.

Ble.

'Tis only to catch himself a Stomach.

Soc.

Very ingeniously contriv'd: So he has secur'd his Doors for fear it shou'd come too soon.

Ble.

You're i' the jeering Vein.

Soc.

Nor yet i' the snarling.—Observe a little, if you please.—He's talking to himself, if I knew what 'tis; and I believe he's hammering at some plaguy Busi∣ness.—I'll listen to his Discourse.—Stand still a while.

Amp. to himself.]

—O how I fear that the Gods shou'd bereave me o' th' Honour o' this Victory. I find my whole Family possest with strange Extravagancies. Then my Wifes Disloyalty and Infamy goes to the heart o' me. But the Cup quite startles me; for 'twas as well Seal'd as possible.—How can it be? My Wife relates all the Particulars o' the Battel, particularly that Ptere∣las was slain by m' own Hands.—Ho, ho, I've found out the Trick at last. This was all Socia's Roguery, who but just now had th' Impudence to shut m' out o' my own House;—

Soc. overhearing.]

So, my Name's brought up, but with a plaguy harsh Sound.—Pray let's keep off a little while, till his whole Passion be discharg'd.

Ble.

How you will for that.

Amp. to himself.]

—But cou'd I but lay hands o' that Rascal, I'd teach him to deceive, abuse, and he∣ctor his own Master.

[Very angrily.

Soc.

D'ye hear him, Sir?

Ble.

Yes.

Soc.

The Storm is just breaking upo' my Shoulders.—We must go up to him; for you know th' old Saying—

Ble.

I know nothing o' your Sayings; but I've a nigh guessing at your Sufferings.

Soc.

'Tis an old Proverb, That an empty Belly and a slack Guest, makes one as mad as the Devil.

Ble.

Very true, we'll meet him immediately.—My Lord Amphitryon!

Amp.

'Tis Blepharon's Voice. I wonder what's his Business wi' me. However, he comes very luckily to be a Witness o' my Wifes Baseness.—

[Here they meet and joyn Discourse.]

How now, Blepharon; what ha' you to say to me?

Ble.

Has your Honour forgot you sent Socia t' our Vessel this Morning t'invite me to Dinner?

Amp.

I ne're so much as thought of't.—But where's that Villain?

Ble.

Who?

Amp.

Socia.

Ble.

There he is.

[Pointing to him.

Amp.

Where?

Ble.

Just before ye.—Don't ye see him?

Amp.

Passion blinds me, and this Rascal has distra∣cted me.—I'll sacrifice ye, you Dog; you mustn't think t' escape.—

[Offers at Socia, Blepharon holds him.]

Prithee let me come at him.

Ble.

Hear a little, I beseech ye.

Amp.

Speak, I do hear.—

[He breaks loose, and strikes Socia.]

Take that, Sirrah.

Soc.

Why this Usage, Sir?—Ha'n't I been quick enough?—If I had got Pacolet's Horse, I cou'dn't ha' came sooner.

Ble.

Hold, good Sir; we came as great a Pace as we cou'd.

Amp.

A Hare's or Snails pace, 'tis all one; I'm re∣solv'd

to beat the Rascal as long as he can stand.—Imprimis, for the House-top;—Item, for the Tile;—Item, for shutting me out;—Item, for your mocking me;—Item, for your sawcy Tongue;—

[Beats him at each word.

Ble.

What has he done, Sir?

Amp.

Done, quoth a?—He shut the Door upo' me, and shamefelly abus'd me from the House-top.

Soc.

I, Sir?

Amp.

Yes you, who so insolently threatn'd me if I offer'd to touch the Door.—Dog, d'ye deny't too?

Soc.

Why shou'd n't I? Here's a sufficient Witness to justify't; the same you sent m' in all haste t' invite to Dinner.

Amp.

Who sent ye, Impudence?

Soc.

You, Sir.

Amp.

When, I pray?

Soc.

Just now, very lately, but a moment since; when you and your Lady were reconcil'd within.

Amp.

The Fellow's bedevil'd sure.

Soc.

I defie the Devil and all his Works.—You or∣der'd me to clean all the Vessels, for you had a Sacrifice t' offer: and then you sent me for this Gentleman, to take a Dinner wi' ye.

Amp.

Let me perish, if e'er I set step within Doors, or sent him any where.—Where did ye leave me last, Sirrah?

Soc.

At home wi' your Lady; from whence I hasten'd to the Port, invited him as y' order'd me, and here we are. I ne're had one Glimpse o' ye since then.

Amp.

Impudent Dog, wi' my Wife?—Now you mustn't think t'escape my Hands.

[He offers at him.

Soc. avoiding him.]

Mr. Blepharon!—

Ble.

Good my Lord, spare him for my sake, and hear me.

Amp.

Well, speak your Pleasure.

Ble.

He has been telling o' me wonderful strange Sto∣ries;

and perhaps some Juggler or Sorcerer, has be∣witch'd your Family. Y' had best make a strict En∣quiry into the Business, and not use the poor Fellow like a Dog, before you know a jot o' the matter.

Amp.

Come then, let's enter the House; I must ha' ye for a Witness i' my Wifes Case.

They move towards the Door.