The Spanish wives a farce, as it was acted by His Majesty's servants at the theatre in Dorset-Garden.
Pix, Mary, 1666-1720., Brémond, Gabriel de. Pelerin.

SCENE changes to the inner part of the House.

Several Servants enter in Confusion, — a great knocking at the Door, and cry of Fire, FireOne of the Servants open the Door, — Enter Hidewell, Men and Maids, as from their Beds— some crying, Fire, some Murder, Treason, &c. After them— Enter Friar Andrew, driving several Servants, who run out, crying, the Devil! the Devil!

— Make haste, unlucky Devil! — 'Twas I cry'd Fire! open'd the Door for your deliverance— Fly, and own me for the Master of your Art for ever.

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I cannot stay to thank ye, — But — I yield, I yield.

Exit running.

Enter the Governor, in his Night-Cap, and Sword drawn.

Benedicta Maria! What! Fire, Murder, and Treason all abroach at once! — a horrible Plot! — By the Honour of Spain, a terrible one, as I hope to be a Grandee!

Enter the Governor's Lady atended.

Sywell, what can be the meaning of this? My Collo∣nel would not come in such a way. — My Lord! my Deary! the Matter, — the Cause of this Disturbance!


Here, Sirrah! raise all the Guards: Oh Tittp! we're like to be murder'd, — drown'd, and blown up, no body knows how, nor which way: A damnable Plot! by his Maje∣sty's Mustaches I swear!


Sure 'tis a false Alarm,—The House has been searcht by soe Servants discreerer than the rest,—and they find nothing.

Enter Marquess, cutting his Servants.
Villains! Dogs! under the notion of the Devil,
These Sheep-lookt Rogues, these Dastard Whelps,
Have let the Robber of my Honour escape; whilst I
But just examin'd if my Wife was safe, the Wolf, the Goat is gone.

Hey da! my Lord Marquess, Are we then alarm'd on∣ly with a jealous Whim of yours? By the Peace and Pleasure of my Life, I'll suffer it no longer. — Any other of my Palaces are at your Service; but such a Wasp shall molest my Honey-hive no more.


Uncivil Lord! thy Palaces, nor all thy Wealth shou'd bribe my stay,— To morrow I've resolv'd for my departure, — in the interm, I desire an hours Conference.


Soon as you please, I am free.

Enter a Servant, with Hidewell.

My Lord, here we've found a man that 〈◊〉 body knows.

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Ha! who are ye, Sirrah? Your Name? From whence d'ye come? Whither d'ye go? What's your Business? — Answer me all at once.


I daut I caunt, — but I'll do no more than monny a Mon; I will tell ye the truth: Coming to Morket with my Fruit, d'ye zee, Ich heard the noise of Fire, Fire! Thieves, ond such-like, — zo che thought good Crabtree-stick might walk amongst the Rogues; zo Ich have left the Fruit with our Margery, and come with main Vorce to help ye, d'ye zee.


An honest Lad! and, d'ye hear, you may sell your Fruit to my Family.


O Lard, O Lard! Ch'am a made Mon, and my Wife and Children: what! zell my Fruit to my Lord Governor — made for ever! henceforth I'll scorn my Neighbors, and de∣spise my Betters.


I like this Fellow, because I search'd him throughly, and found him no Go-between.—Here, Sirrah! there's something for ye, — and were I to stay, ye shou'd ha my Custom.


I thank your Honours.


(to a Sentinel)
Let him out.
Exit Hidew.


Youll remember to morrow morning early.


Most certainly.


Then I'll convince this credulous easie man what need there is of watching one's Wife: —Good-night.


Farewell; go thy ways, for a troublesome, maggot-pated, jealous-crownd Simpleton, as thou art: — Hey boy, Tittup! how ist Tittup? how shall you and I get to sleep again Tittup? ha!


I know not.


What, moody, Tittup!


I'll rouse ye, and mouse ye, and touse ye as long as I can,
Till squeaking I make ye confess:
There's Heat in a vigorous Old Man,
When he loves to excess, when he loves to excess.