The mysteries of love & eloquence, or, The arts of wooing and complementing as they are manag'd in the Spring Garden, Hide Park, the New Exchange, and other eminent places : a work in which is drawn to the life the deportments of the most accomplisht persons, the mode of their courtly entertainments, treatments of their ladies at balls, their accustom'd sports, drolls and fancies, the witchcrafts of their perswasive language in their approaches, or other more secret dispatches ...

PROVERBS.

The Text.

HE that hath a Woman by the waste, hath a wet Eel by the tail.

Comment.

For Women hate delaies as much as they abominate debility.

Womens actions are like their wombs, not to be fathomed.

And therefore he that deals with them ought to be a man of a deep reach.

Love though he be blind can smell.

This is the reason, that a man that runs passionately after a woman, is said to have his nose in her tail, and is call'd a smell∣smock.

Nothing venture, nothing have.

Yet he that ventures too far loses all.

Now the question will be in these two Proverbs, Whether it be better for a man to lose nothing, though he get nothing, and so to keep his pate whole, or to lose that which he hath gotten, and to have nothing left him but a skin full of holes.

The gentle Ewe is suckt by many Lambs.

And so is a kind woman butted at by many Rams.

Love and Knowledge live not together.

That is to say, they live asunder.

They love too much who die for love.

For as Aristotle says, Every excess destroys; and therefore he is a fool what will do so, seeing a man hath so little thanks for his labour.

A fat Wife never lov'd a ••aint Husband.

And there's good reason for it, the Devil ought to have his due.

Love me and love my dog.

To this Proverb are the Ladies beholding for all the verses made upon their Beag••es.

He that loves another better then himself, starves in a Cooks shop.

And ought to be buried under the Gallows.

Every one is not merry that dances.

Neither does every one dance that is merry.

'Tis a trouble to ride, and death to go on foot.

What a devilish lazy fellow was he that invented this Pro∣verb.

He incurs no danger, that comes not where it is.

That's very certain.

He that goes far, gains much.

That's a lie, witness Thom. Coriat.

When a man is dead, his Friends forsake him.

That's because he forsakes his Friends.

Blows makes love decay.

And therefore he that beats his Wife, is sure to be a Cuckold.

Rome was not built in a day.

That every body knows, but can any man tell us how many days 'twas a building.

Love makes men marry, money makes them angry.

That's when they cannot get their wives portions.

He that cannot pay let him pray.

With all my heart, if he can meet with those that will say, Amen to his requests.

Nothing but money is money worth.

Very true, for here's knavery in all Trades.

Claw an Ass by the breech and h〈…〉〈…〉l bewray your fingers.

One good turn requires another.

He that believes a woman, and leads an Ass, will never be in quiet.

Then he that believes this Proverb, is an Ass. that will do either.

He hath enough that's pleas'd.

But can any body tell when he hath enough to please him.

A man may well call till his heart ake, if no body will hear him.

Right Roger, your Sow's good Mutton.

One Barber trims another.

'Tis very kindly done of them

He that means to pay gives good security.

Because he intends his security shall pay.

A man may lead his Horse to water, but he cannot make him drink unless he list.

Otherwise he would infringe the liberty of the Subject.

He must needs go whom the Divel drives.

For the Divel's a notable whipster.

Fast bind, fast find.

This Proverb caused the invention of the Italian Padlocks.

There's many a one sings that is full sorry.

This Proverb i•• verified by those that sing upon the Gallows.

He's sure of a Cat that hath her skin.

Would I were as sure of an hundred pound.

A man may easily finde a stick to beat a Dog.

Gentlemen, I hope you know the meaning of this Proverb without expounding it, if you do not, you shall ne're un∣derstand it for me.

A Dog will endure no companion in the Kitchin.

For Dogs are like Usurers, they love to eat by themselves.

A fat Kitchin makes a lean Testament.

Very likely, for a man cannot eat his Cake, and have his Cake.

The Lady kisses her man for his masters sake.

Neither do I see how his master can be angry, 'tis one part of his duty to man his Mistress.

He that spends beyond his ability,

May hang himself with great agility.

For he is lighter then he was by many a pound.

Every truth is not to be told.

And therefore Scogan's wife, when her husband as'kd her whether he where a Cuckold or no, deny'd to tell him.

He that begins a matter untowardly, ends it ill-favouredly.

This Proverb concerns Courters of Mistresses and getters of Maidenheads.

The Divel is known by his Claws.

How can that be, when some Authors affirm he hath no Claws.

An ill wife that grows not worse, is not the worst of wives.

A bad excuse is better then none at all.

Women weep and sicken when they li••t.

But let the Cock crow, and you shall presently perceive change of weather. On my word 'tis time to stand to your tacklings friends when the ship leaks.

The Wife that bites her lips and treads askue,

Is to her Husband, or her self, untrue.

Gentlemen, forewarn'd forearm'd. These are signs easie enough to be seen, take notice of them

A Woman and a melon are both alike.

For till they are broke up, no body knows what is in them.

'Tis no great matter though a woman drown her self.

For there are flesh-pots enough in Egypt.

A gadding hen and a gadding wife will be soon lost.

But here's the mischief on't, that the gadding wife knows the way home, and the hen does not.

He that loses his wife and six pence loses by the money.

Let him that can finde the six pence take the wife for his pains.

A man of straw is worth a woman of gold.

Nay, here Ile be sworn, the Proverb-monger was out. For a whole Seraglio of such Concubines would do a man no harm.

Fall back, fall edge.

Some thing I would say to this Proverb, but I cannot tell what, and therefore I care not what becomes on't.

Farewell frost.

So said the Maid, and then she sighed.

Every day is not Sunday.

No, for then people would be weary of going to Church.

Every woman hath her wanton fit.

I, and will have it in spite of the Devil.

A gazing, gadding maid seldom proves a good liuswise.

'Tis much they should not prosper when they look so well about them.

He is a fool that loses flesh for bones.

That is to say, he is a fool that refuses a fine plump Girle for a lean one.

Let him that fears the wagging of feathers fear to go among wilde fowl.

But now a dayes a man may walk among the wild fowl, and ever fear their feathers,

Such as the tree, such is the fruit.

That's not alwayes so, for there's many proper women have ho••goblins to their Children.

Many a little makes a mickle, Light gains makes heavy purses.

Ha! well said, old true Penny.

Fine feathers make fine birds,

As you may see in Hide Park.

He repents too late that repents at the gallows.

Therefore he had as good let it alone.

He's an ill cook that licks not his own fingers.

Doubtless the light of Nature hath taught every man this Proverb.

A sack full of holes can hold no corn.

Even so there be some women that cannot hold their water.

A little rain allays a very great winde.

So said a mad fellow when he bepist his wives farting hole.

The longest dayes have evenings.

Who can help it, Ladies!

A low man can fell a tall oak.

If a tall oak, much more a tall woman; therefore maidens despise not little men.

Too much scratching hurts the skin.

But say the women there's a difference between scratching and rubbing.

Of idleness comes no goodness.

For that's the reason so many maids have the green sickness.

Good at meat, good at work.

Therefore 'tis the best way alwayes to eat stoutly in the com∣pany of women.

Grass grows not in hot ovens.

He that made this Proverb, was bound sure to speak truth for a wager.

Ill weeds grow apace.

That's always the answer of an old woman, when you tell her she has a proper maid to her daughter.

Good clothes hide much deformity.

What rare men Taylors are.

Men may meet, but not mountains.

Therefore you see when Mahomet bid the Hill come to him it would not stir, 'twas so lazie.

He that wants shame shall never win credit.

How is that great vertue impudence here abused?

He that is ashamed to eat, is ashamed to live.

If a man could live as long as he could eat, I make no que∣stion but that he might easily be perswaded to lose his shame, and put in sureties for the eternity of his stomach.

As shamefac't as a sow that slaps up a sillabub,

Those are your Whitson-Holiday sows, that swill up whole milk-pails in the field, till you may follow them home by the leakage of their tap-holes.

He never goes out of his way that goes to a good house.

This was a maxim observed by Taylor the Water-Poet in his long vacation voyages.

He that cannot fight let him run.

'Tis a notable piece of Matchavilian policy.

A fools bolt is soon shot.

That made the Gentlewoman shit in the Exchange.

A gentle shepherd makes the wolf shite wool.

'Tis a very fine way to be eased of the trouble of sheep-shearing

Good words cost nothing.

Unless it be Dedications and Love Verses, for some men do pay for them.

Better may a mans foot slip then his tongue trip.

Commonly the tripping of the tongue and the slipping of the foot happen both together. Now if a man be late abroad, 'tis better that his tongue should trip then his foot slip, for he may chance to fall in the street, and have a coach go over him.

Some men may better steal a horse then others look on.

For 'tis fit that he that took least pains should have least profit.

When thieves fall out true men come by their own.

For as Philip the great King of Macedon well said, Con∣cord upholdeth all societies: Therefore 'tis high time for thieves to be hang'd, when they cannot agree among them∣selves.

A liquorish huswife seldom makes thick pottage.

For she puts all her Oatmeal in Caudles.

Hungry dogs love dirty puddings.

There's many a man hath lost his Nose by verifying this Proverb.

He'l make you believe a Hare lays eggs.

See Brown's vulgar Errors.

'Tis an ill winde blows no body good.

After meat comes mustard.

For their teeth watered so much after the meat, that it was impossible their eyes should water after the mustard.

He that holds a frying-pan by the tail may turn it which way he lists.

See more of this in Alexius his secrets, or in Aristotles book of the dyet of the Phisolophers, cap. 6. of the manner of ma∣king pancakes.

Better no pies, then pies made with scabby hands.

Wink and all's well, for what the eye sees not, the heart never rues.

He that is born to be hang'd shall never be drown'd.

VVell fare him that is born to be hang'd say I, for he goes to heaven in a string, when he that is drown'd goes to hell in a ferry-boat.

A wary father has a prodigal son.

He is to be commended for not letting his fathers estate lie fal∣low; for if he will not sow again after his great harvest, his son must.

A man cannot make a cheverel purse of a sow's ear.

Ye cannot tell what a man may do, there are very notable pro∣jectors living now adays.

Like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

Gentlemen, ye need not wonder how the Collier and the De∣vil came to be familiar, for he is fain to keep in with that trade, that he may buy his provision at the best hand, against he goes to to set up his Pye corner calling.