The mysteries of love & eloquence, or, The arts of wooing and complementing as they are manag'd in the Spring Garden, Hide Park, the New Exchange, and other eminent places : a work in which is drawn to the life the deportments of the most accomplisht persons, the mode of their courtly entertainments, treatments of their ladies at balls, their accustom'd sports, drolls and fancies, the witchcrafts of their perswasive language in their approaches, or other more secret dispatches ...

The Clown's Description of his Mistress.

HAppy am I in Mop••s love, that ever I bespoke her; Whose hair's as fine as any hemp, and colour'd like red ok••r. Whose hammer-head and beetle-brows. will never me deceive; If I have any Nail to drive, or any Block to cleave.

Those eye-holes, if thy eyes were out, would serve as well for Sawcers; But thy plump cheeks puft up do hang like to a pair of Dossers. And from this Limbeck the rare Juice,

continually that flows: Lest thou should lose one drop of it, thou hast a Bottle-nose.

Thy chaps do water, I protest, as they were greas'd with tallow; Thy scattering teeth enamel'd are, with blew, and black, and yellow: When thou dost talk, I do admire, thy stumbling and thy trips; Thou art no great blab of thy tongue, but a little of thy lips.

The rubies, and the carbuncles, on thy face shine most Star-like; But oh! thy spicy fragrant breath, smells like a bed of Garlike. Thy comely breasts to me appear like Mole-hills newly raised; Which for their mountainous extent, are highly to be praised.

Her sides be long, her belly lank; of her legs what should I say? But that she feels well in the flank, her feet themselves display.