The souldiers fortune a comedy, acted by Their Royal Highnesses servants at the Duke's Theatre / written by Thomas Otway.

Act. III. (Book 3)

SCENE Covent-Garden. (Book 3)

Enter Sylvia, and Courtine.

Sylv.

TO fall in love, and to fall in love with a Souldier! nay, a disbandded Souldier too, a fellow with the mark of Cain upon him, which every body knows him by, and is ready to throw stones at him for.

Cour.

Dam her, I shall never enjoy her without ravishing; if she, were but very rich and very ugly, I wou'd marry her: Ay, 'tis she, I know her mischievous look too well to be mistaken in it,—Ma∣dam!—

Sylv.

Sir.

Cour.

'Tis a very hard Case, that you have resolv'd not to let me be quiet.

Silv.

'Tis very unreasonably done of you, Sir, to haunt me up and down every where at this scandalous rate, the world will think we are acquainted shortly.

Cour.

But, Madam, I shall fairly take more care of my Reputati∣on, on, and from this time forward shun and avoid you most watchfully.

Sylv.

Have you not haunted this place these two hours.

Cour.

'Twas because I knew it to be your Ladyships home then, and therefore might reasonably be the place you least of all frequen∣ted, one would imagine you were gone a Coxcomb-hunting by this time, to some place of publick appearance or other, 'tis pretty near the hour, twill be twilight presently, and then the Owles come all a∣broad.

Sylv.

What need I take the trouble to go so far a fowling when there's game enough at our own doors.

Cour.

What game for your Net, fair Ladie.

Sylv.

Yes, or any womans Net else, that will spread it.

Cour.

To shew you how despicablie I think of the business, I will here leave you presently, though I lose the pleasure of railing at you.

Sylv.

Do so I wou'd advise you; your raillery betrays your wit, as bad as your clumsey civility does your breeding.

Cour.

Adieu!—

Sylv.

Farewel!—

Court.

Why do not you go about your business?

Sylv.

B••cause I wou'd be sure to be rid of you first, that you might not dog me.

Cour.

Were it but possible that you cou'd answer me one question truly, and then I should be satisfi'd.

Sylv.

Any thing for composition to be rid of you handsomly.

Cour.

Are you really very honest? Look in my Face and tell me that.

Sylv.

Look in your Face and tell you, for what? To spoil my Stomach to my Supper.

Cour.

No, but to get thee a Stomach to thy Bed, Sweet-heart, I would if possible be better acquainted with thee because thou art ve∣ry ill-natur'd.

Sylv.

Your only way to bring that business about effectually, is to be more troublesome, and if you think it worth your while to be abus'd substantially; you may make your personal appearance this Night.

Cour.

How? where? and when? and what hour I beseech thee?

Sylv.

Under the Window, between the hours of eleven and twelve exactly.

Cour.

Where shall these lovely Eyes, and Ears hear my Plaints and see my Tears.

Sylv.

At that kind hour thy griefs shall end if thou canst know thy Foe from thy Friend.

[Exit. Syl.

Cour.

Here's another trick of the Devil now, under that Window between the hours of eleven and twelve exactly, I am a damn'd Fool, and must go, let me see, suppose I meet with a lusty beating! pish, that's nothing for a man that's in love, or suppose she contrive some way to make a publick Coxcomb of me, and expose me to the scorn of the World, for an example to all amorous Block-heads hereafter? why, if she do, I'l swear I have lain with her, beat her Relations, if they pretend to Vindicate her, and so there's one love intrigue pretty well o∣ver.

Exit Cour.

Enter Sir David, and Vermin.

Sir Da.

Go get you in to your Ladie now, and tell her, I am come∣ing.

Verm.

Her Ladiship, Right-worshipful is pleas'd not to be at home.

Sir Da.

How's that? my Ladie not at home! run, run in and ask when she went forth, whether she is gone, and who is with her, run and ask, Vermin.

Ver.

She went out in her Chair presently after you this After-noon.

Sir Da.

Then I may be a Cuckold still for ought I know, what will be comeof me? I have surely lost, and ne'r shall find her more, she pro∣mis'd me strictlie to stay at home, till I came back again; for ought I know she may be up three pair of stairs in the Temple now.

Verm.

Is her Ladyship in Law then, Sir.

Sir Da.

Or it may be taking the Air as far as Knights-bridge with some smooth fac'd Rogue or another: 'tis a damn'd house, that Swan, that Swan at Knights-bridge is a confounded house, Vermin.

Verm.

Do you think she is there then?—

Sir Da.

No, I do not think she is there neither; but such a thing may be, you know; would that Barn-Elms was under water too, there's a 1000 Cuckolds a Year made at Barn-Elms, by Rosamonds ponds, the devil if she shou'd be there this evening, my heart's broke.

Enter Sir Jolly.

Sir Iol.

That must be Sir Davy; Ay, that's he, that's he, ha, ha, ha, was ever the like heard of? was ever any thing so pleasant?

Sir Da.

I'll lock her up three daies, and three nights, without meat, drink or light, I'll humble her in the Devils name.

Sir Iol.

Well, cou'd I but meet my Friend, Sir Davy, it wou'd be the joyfullest news for him—

Sir Da.

Who's there that has any thing to say to me.

Sir Iol.

Ah my Friends, of Friends, such news, such tidings.

Sir Da.

I have lost my Wife Man.

Sir Iol.

Lost her! She's not dead I hope.

Sir Da.

Yes, Alas, she's dead, irrecoverably lost.

Sir Iol.

Why I parted with her within this half hour.

Sir Da.

Did you so, are you sure it was she? where was it? I'll have my Lord-Chief-Justices Warrant and a Constable presentlie.

Sir Iol.

And she made the purest sport now, with a Young Fel∣low, Man, that she met withall accidentally.

Sir Da.

Oh Lord! that's worse and worse, a Young fellow!—my Wife making sport with a young fellow! oh Lord! here are do∣ings! here are vagaries! I'll run mad, I'll climb Bow Steeple pre∣sently, bestride the Dragon, and preach Cuckoldom to the whole City.

Sir Ioll.

The best of all was too, that it happen'd to be an Idle Coxcomb that pretended to be in lover with her Neighbour.

Sir Da.

Indeed! in love with her! who was it? what's his Name▪ I warrant you won't tell a Body,—I'll indite him in the Crown Office; no I'll ••ssue Warrants to apprehend him for Treason upon the Statue of Edw. 19th. won't you tell me what young Fellow it was, was it a very handsome young Fellow, hah—

Sir Iol.

Handsome? yes hang him the fellow's handsome enough; he is not very handsom neither, but he has a devillish leering black-eye.

Sir Da.

Oh Lord?

Sir Iol.

His face to is a good rideing Face,'tis no foft effeminate complexion indee••, but his count••nance is ruddy, sanguine and chear∣ful,

a devillish fellow in a Corner, I'll warrant him.

Sir Da.

Bless us! what will become of me, why the devil did I marry a young Wife? Is he very well shap'd too, tall, straight, and proportionable, hah!—

Sir Iol.

Tall? No, he's not very tall neither, yet he is tall enough too, he's none of your overgrown lubberly Flanders Jades, but more of the true English breed, well knit, able, and fit for service old Boy; the Fellow is well shap'd truely, very well proportion'd, strong, and active; I have seen the Rogue leap like a Buck.

Sir Da.

Who can this be? Well, and what think you, Friend, has he been there? Come, come, I'm sensible she's a young Wo∣man, and I am an old Fellow, troth a very old Fellow, I signifie lit∣tle or nothing now, but do you think he has prevailed? am I Cuck∣old, Neighbour.

Sir Iol.

Cuckold! what! a Cuckold in Covent-garden? No I'll assure you, I believe her to be the most vertuous Woman in the World; but if you had but seen!—

Sir Da.

Ay, wou'd I had, what was it?

Sir Iol.

How like a Rogue she us'd him: First of all comes me up the Spark to her, Madam, says he—and then he bows down, thus—how now, says she, what would the impertient Fellow have.

Sir Da.

Humph! ha! well, and what then?

Sir Iol.

Madam, says he again (bowing as he did before) my heart is so entirely yours, that except you take pitie of my sufferings I must here dy at your Feet.

Sir Da.

So, and what said she again, Neighbour? ha!

Sir Iol.

Go, you are a Fop.

Sir Da.

Ha, ha, ha, did she indeed? Did she say so indeed? I am glad on 't, troth I am very glad on't; well, and what next? And how, and well, and what? ha!—

Sir Ibl.

Madam, says he, this won't do; I am your humble Ser∣vant, for all this, you may pretend to be as ill-natur'd as you please, but I shall make bold.

Sir Da.

Was there ever such an impudent Fellow?

Sir Iol.

With that, Sirrah, says she, you are a sawsi•• Jackanapes and I'll have you kickt.

Sir Da.

Ha, ha, ha! Well I wou'd not be unmarri'd agam to be an Angel.

Sir Iol.

But the best Jeast of all was, who this should be at last.

Sir Da.

Ay, who indeed! I'll warrant you some silly Fellow or o∣ther; poor Fool!

Sir Iol.

E'en a scandalous Rake hell, that li••gers up and down the Town by the Name of Captain Beaugard▪ but he has been a bloody

Cuckold-making Scoundrel in his time.

Sir Da.

Hang him Sot, is it he? I don't value him thus, not a wet finger Man, to my knowledge she hates him, she scorns him Neighbour, I know it, I am very well satisfi'd in the point, besides I have seen him since that, and out-hector'd him: I am to tell her from his own mouth, that he promises never to affront her more.

Sir Iol.

Indeed.

(A Letter.)

Sir Da.

Ay, Ay—

Enter Lady Dun••e, paying her Chairman.

Chairman.

God bless you, Madam, thank your Honour.

Sir Iol.

Hush, hush, there's my Lady, I'll be gone, I'll not be seen, your humble Servant, God b'w'y.

Sir Da.

No faith, Sir Iolly, e'en go into my house now, and stay Supper with me, we han't supt together a great while.

Sir Iol.

Hah! say you so, I don't care if I do, faith withall my heart; this may give me an opportunity to set all things right a∣gain.

[Aside.

Sir Da.

My Dear!

Lady D.

Sir!

Sir Da.

You have been abroad, my Dear, Isee!

Lady D.

Only for a little Air, truly I was almost stiffled with∣in doors, I hope you will not be angry, Sir David, will you?

Sir Da.

Angry Child! no Child, not I; what should I be an∣gry for!

Lady D.

I wonder Sir David, you will serve me at this rate. Did you not promise me to go in my behalf to Beaugard and correct him according to my instructions for his inso∣lence.

Sir Da.

So I did, Child; I have been with him, Sweet-heart, I have told him all to a tittle, I gave him back again the Picture too, but as the Devil would have it, I forgot the Ring, faith I did.

Lady D.

Did you purpose, Sir Sodom, to render me ridiculous to the man I abominate, what scandalous interpretation think you must he make of my retaining any trifle of his sent me on so dishonourable terms.

Sir Da.

Really, my Lamb, thou art in the right, yet I went back afterwards, Dear-heart, and did the business to some purpose.

Lady D.

I am glad that you did with all my heart.

Sir Da.

I gave him his lesson, I'll warrant him.

Lady D.

Lesson! what lesson had you to give him?

Sir Da.

Why I told him as he lik'd that usage he might come again ha, ha, ha.

Lady D.

Ay, and so let him.

Sir Da.

With all my heart, I'll give him free leave or hang me: though thou wou'd'st not imagine how the poor Devil's alter'd. La you there now, but as certainly as I stand here, that man is troubled that he swears he shall not rest day nor night till he has satisfied thee; prithee be satisfi'd with him if 'tis possible, my Dear, prithee do, I promis'd him before I left him to tell thee as much, for the poor wretch looks so simply, I cou'd not chuse but pity him I vow and swear, ha, ha, ha,.

Iol.

Now, now, you little Witch, now you Chitsface, odd I cou'd find in my heart to put my little Finger in your Bubbies.

Lady D.

Sir Da. I must tell you, that I cannot but resent your so soon reconcilement with a man that I hate worse then death, and that if you lov'd me with half that tenderness which you profess, you wou'd not forget an affront so palpably, and so basely offer'd me.

Sir Da.

Why Chicken where's the remedy? what's to be done? how wouldst thou have me deal with him?

Lady D.

Cut his throat.

Sir Da.

Bless us for ever? cut his throat? what do murder?

Lady D.

Murder, yes, any thing to such an incorrigible Enemy of your honour, one that has resolv'd to persist in abusing of you, see here this letter this I received since I last parted with you just now it was thrown into my Chair by an impudent Lacquey of his, kept o' purpose for such imployments.

Sir Da.

Let me see: A Letter indeed!—for the Lady Dunce— damn'd Rogue, treacherous dog, what can he say in the inside now, here's a Villian.

Lady D.

Yes, you had best break it open, you had so, 'tis like the rest of your discretion.

Sir Da.

Lady, if I have an enemy it is best for me to know what mischief he intends me, therefore, with your leave I will break it o∣pen.

Lady D.

Do, do, to have him believe that I was pleas'd enough with it to do it my self, if you have the Spirit of a Gentleman in you, ca∣ry it back, and dash it as it is in the face of that audacious Fellow.

Sir Iol.

What can be the meaning of this now?

Sir Da.

A Gentleman, yes, Madam, I am a Gentleman, and the world shall find that I am a Gentleman—I have certainly the best Woman in the World.

Lady D.

What do you think must be the end of all this? I have no refuge in the world, but your kindness, had I a Jealous Hus∣band now, how miserable must my life be!

Sir Iol.

Ah Rogues. Nose ah Devil! ah Toad! cunning Thief, wheed ling Slut, I'll bite lier by and by.

Sir Dav.

Poor Fool! no Dear, I am not Jealous, nor never will

〈…〉〈…〉 of thee: Do what thou wilt thou shalt not make me Jea∣lo•••• 〈◊〉〈◊〉 love thee too well to suspect thee.

Lady D.

Ah but how long will you do so?

Sir Da.

How long! as long as I live I warrant thee, I—don't talk to a bod•• so: I cannot hold out if thou dost, my eyes will run over, poor 〈◊〉〈◊〉, poor Birdsnies! poor Lambki••••.

Lady D.

But will you be so kind to me to answer my desires, will you once more endeavour to make that Traytor sensible that I have too just an esteem of you, not to vallue his addresses as they de∣serve.

Sir Da.

Ay, Ay, I will.

Lady D.

But don't stay away too long Dear, make what haste you can I shall be in pain till I see you again.

Sir Da.

My hear, my Love, my Babby, I'll be with thee in a mo∣ment, how happy am I above the rest of men: Neighbour, dear Neighbour, walk in with my Wife, and keep her company, till I re∣turn again, Child don't be troubled, prithee don't be troubled, was there ever such a Wife, well da, da, da, don't be troubled, prithee, don't be troubled, prithee don't be troubled, Da, da,

[Exit.

Lady D.

Sir Iolly, Sir Iolly, Sir Iolly.

Sir Iol.

Don't be troubled, prithee don't be trouled, da, da.

Lady Du.

But Sir Iolly, can you guess whereabout my wand'ring Officer may be probably found now?

Sir Iol.

Found Ladie? he is to be found, Madam, he is to be at my house presently Ladie, he's certainly one of the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Fellows in the World.

Lady D.

You speak like a Friend, Sir Iolly.

Sir Iol.

His Friend, Lady; no Madam his Foe, his utter Enemy, I shall be his ruin, I shall undo him.

Lady D.

You may, if you please, then come both and play at Dards this evening with me for an hour or two, for I have contriv'd it so that Sir David is to be abroad at Supper to night, he cannot possibly avoid it; I long to win some of the Captains Money strangely.

Sir Iol.

Do you so, my Gamester? Well, I'll besure to bring him, and for what he carries about him I'll warrant you—odd he's a pretty Fellow, a very pretty Fellow, he has only one fault.

Lady D.

And what is that I beseech you Sir?

Sir Iol.

Only too Loving, too good Natur'd, that's all; 'tis certainly the best natur'd Fool breathing, that's all his fault.

Lady D.

Hist, hist, I think I see company coming, if you please, Sir Iolly we'll go in.

Enter Beaugard follow'd by Sir Davy, Vermin.

Sir Iol.

Mum, mum, mum, 'tis he himself the very same; odds so

Sir Davy after him too, hush, hush, hush, let us be gone, let us re••ire, do but look upon him now, mind him a little, there's a 〈◊〉〈◊〉▪ there's an Air, there's a motion! Ah Rogue, ah Devil, get you in, get you in, I say there's a shape for you.

[Exit.

Beau.

What the Divel shall I do to recover this days loss again, my honourable Pimp too, my Pander Knight has forsaken me, me∣thinks I am quandari'd like one going with a party to disco∣ver the Enemies Camp; but had lost his guide upon the mountains: Curse on him, old Angus is here agen, there can be no good Fortune towards me when he's at my he••ls

Sir Da.

Sir, Sir, Sir, one word with you Sir! Captain, Captain, noble Captain, oneword, I beseech you.

Beau.

With me Friend?

Sir Da.

Yes with you, my no Friend.

Beau.

Sir David my intimate my Bosom Physitian—

Sir Da.

Ah Rogue! damn'd Rogue!

Beau.

My Confessor, my dearest Friend, I ever had—

Sir Da.

Dainty Wheadle, here's a Fellow for ye.

Beau.

One that has taught me to be in love with Vertue and shown me the ugly inside of my Follies.

Sir Da.

Sir, your humble Servant.

Beau.

Is that all? if you are as cold in your Love as you are in your Friendship, Sir Davy, your Lady has the worst time o'nt of any one in Christendom.

Sir Da.

So she has, Sir, when she cannot be free from the inso∣lent solicitations of such Fellows as you are, Sir.

Beau.

As me, Sir? why who am I, good Sir Domine Doddle-pate?

Sir Da.

So take notice he threatens me, I'll have him bound to the peace instantly, will you never have remorse of Conscience Friend? have you banisht all shame from your Soul? Do you consider my name is Sir Davy Dunce? that I have the most vertuous Wife living: Do you consider that? Now, how like a Rogue he looks again; what a hang-dog leer was that?

Beau.

Your vertuous Wife, Sir, you are always harping upon that string Sir Davy.

Sir Da.

No 'tis you wou'd be harping upon that string, Sir, see you this? cast your eyes upon this, this Letter Sir, did not you promise this very day, to abandon all manner of proceedings of this Nature tending to the dishonour of me and my Family?

Beau.

Letter, Sir? what the divel does he mean now? Let me see, For the Lady Dunce, this is no scrawl of mine, I'll be Sworn by Iove her own hand! What a Dog was I! forty to one but I had play'd the Fool, and spoil'd all again; was there ever so Charming a Creature breathing—did your Lady deliver this to your hands Sir.

Sir Da.

Ev'n her own self in person, Sir, and bad me tell you Sir,

that she has too just an esteem of me Sir, not to vallue such a Fellow as you are as you deserve.

Beau.

Very good:

(Reads the Letter)

I doubt not but this Letter will surprize you—(in troth, and so it does extreamly) but reflect upon the manner of conveighing it to your hand as kindly as you can.

Sir Da.

Ay a damn'd Thief to have it thrown into the Chair by a Footman.

Beau.

(Reads)

Would Sir Davy were but half so kind to you as I am.

Sir Da.

Say you so you insinuating Knave.

(Sir Jolly Reads.

Beau.

But he I am satisfi'd is so severely Jealous, that except you contrive some way to let me see you this evening: I fear all will be hopeless

Sir Da.

Impudent Traytor I might have been a Monster yet before I had got my Supper in my Belly.

Beau.

In order to which either appear your self, or some body for you, half an hour hence in the Piazza, where more may be consider∣ed of, adieu.

Sir Da.

Thanks to you noble Sir, with all my heart, you are come I see accordingly, but as a Friend I am bound in Conscience to tell the business won't do, the trick won't pass Friend, you may put up your Pipes, and march off! Oh Lord! he lye with my Wife, Pug•••••• he make Sir Davy Dunce a Cuckold, poor wretch, ha, ha, ha.

Sir Iol.

Hist, hist, hist.

Enter Lady Dunce, and Fourbin disguisd.

Lady D.

That's he, there he is! succeed and be rewarded.

Four.

Other people may think what they please; but in my own opinion, I am a very pretty Fellow now, if my design but succeed up∣on this old Baboon, I'll be canoniz'd Sir, Sir, Sir.

Sir Da.

Friend! with me? Wou'd you speak with me, Friend.

Fourb.

Sir, my commands were to attend your Worship.

Sir Iol.

Beaugard, Beaugard, hist, hist, here here, quickly hist.

Sir Da.

Where do you live, Sweet-heart, and who do you belong too?

Fourb.

Sir I am a small Instrument of the City, I serve the Lord Mayor in his Office there.

Sir Da.

How the Lord Mayor!

Four.

Yes, Sir, who desires you by all means to do him the Hon∣our of your company at supper this evening.

Sir Da.

It will be the greatest honour I ever received in my Life, what my Lord Mayor Invite me to supper? I am his Lordships most hum∣ble servant.

Four.

Yes, Sir, if your name be Sir Davy Dunce, as I have the honour to be inform'd it is, he desires you moreover to make what haste you can, for that he has some matters of importance to communicate to your honour which may take up some time.

Lady D.

I hope it will succeed.

Sir Da.

Communicate with me, he does me too noble a favour, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 upon the wings of Ambition to say my self at his Footstool; My Lord-Mayor sends himself to invite me to Supper, to confer with me too: I shall certainly be a great Man.

Fourb.

What Answer will your Worship charge me back withal?

Sir Da.

Let his Lordship know that I am amazed, and con∣founded, at his generosity, and that I am so transported with the honour he does me, that I will not fail to wait on him in the roasting of an Egg.

Fourb.

I am your Worships lowly Slave.

Sir Da.

Vermin, go get the Coach ready, get me the Gold Medal too and Chain which I took from the Roman Catholik Officer for a Popish Relick; I'l be fine, I'l shine and drink Wine that's Divine, My Lord-Mayor invite me to Supper!

Lady D.

My Dearest, I'm glad to see thee return'd in safety from the bottom of my heart, hast thou seen the Traitor?

Sir Da.

Seen him? hang him, I have seen him, Pox on him, seen him.

Lady D.

Well, and what is become of him! Where is he?

Sir Da.

Why dost thou ask me where he is? what a Pox care I what becomes of him, prithee don't trouble me with thy imperti∣nence, I am busie.

Lady D.

You are not Angry, my Dear, are you?

Sir Da.

No, but I am pleas'd, and that's all one, very much pleas'd let me tell you, but that I am only to Sup with my Lord-Mayor, that's all, nothing else in the World, only the business of the Nation calls upon me, that's all, therefore once more I say don't be troublesome, but stand off.

Lady D.

You always think my company troublesome, you never stay at home to comfort me, what think you I shall do alone by my self all this Evening? mopeing in my Chamber, pray my Joy stay with me for once; I hope he won't take me at my word.

[Aside.

Sir Da.

I say again and again, Tempter stand off, I will not lose my preferment for my pleasure, Honour is towards me, and slesh and blood are my Averllon.

Lady D.

But how long will you stay then?

Sir Da.

I don't know, may be not an hour, may be all night, as his Lordship and I think fit, what's that to any body.

Lady D.

You are very cruel to me▪

Sir Da.

I can't help it, go get you in and pass away the time with your Neighbour, I'l be back again before I die, in the mean time be humble and conformable, go: is the Coach ready?

Verm.

Yes Sir.

Sir Da.

Well, your Servant, what nothing to my Lady Mayoress! you have a great deal of Breeding indeed, a great deal, nothing to my Lady Mayoress?

Lady D.

My service to her, if you please.

Sir D.

Well, Da, da, the poor fool cries o' my conscience! A∣dieu, do you hear, farewell.

[Exit.

Lady D.

As well as what I love can make me.

Enter Sir Jolly.

Sir Iol.

Madam, is he gone.

Lady D.

In post haste I assure.

Sir Iol.

In troth and joy go with him.

Lady D.

Do you then, Sir Iolly, conduct the Captain hither, whilst I go and dispose of the Family that we may be private.

[Ex.

Enter Sir Davy.

Sir Da.

Troth I had forgot my Medal and Chain, quite and clean, forgot my Relique, I was forced to come up these back stairs, for fear of meeting my Wife again, it is the troublesom'st loving Fool, I must into my ••loset and write a short Letter too, 'tis Post night, I had forg••t that▪ well, I would not have my Wife catch me for a Guinny.

[Exit.

Enter Beaugard and Lady D.

Beau.

Are you very certain, Madam, no body is this way? I fan∣••y as we ••nter'd I saw the glimpse of something more than ordi∣nary.

Lady D.

Is it your care of me? or your personal fears, that make you so supsitious, whereabouts was the Apparition?

Beau.

There, there, just at the very door.

Lady D.

Fie for shame, that's Sir Davy's Closet, and he I am satisfi'd is far enough off by this time, I'm sure I heard the Coach drive him away. But to convince you, you shall see now; Sir Davy, Sir Davy, Sir Davy,

[knocking at the Closet door]

look you there, you a Captain and afraid of a shadow, come Sir, shall we call for the Gards?

Beau.

And what shall we play for pretty One!

Lady D.

Ee'n what you think best, Sir.

Beau.

Silver Kisses or Golden Joyes! come let us make Stakes a little.

Enter Sir Jolly.

Sir Iolly.

Ah Rogue, ah Rogue! are you there? have I caught you in Faith now, now, now!

Lady D.

And who shall keep them?

Beau.

You, till Sir Davy, returns from Supper.

Lady D.

That may be long enough, for our Engine Fourbin has Orders not to give him over suddenly I assure you.

Beau.

And is't to your self then I'm oblig'd for this blest opportu∣nity? Let us improve it to Love's best advantage.

Sir Iolly.

Ah, h, h, h! Ah, h, h, h!

Beau.

Let's vow eternal, and raise our thoughts, to 'expectation of immortal pleasures, in one anothers eyes let's read our joyes till we've no longer power o're our desires, drunk with this dissolving, oh!—

Enter Sir Davy from his Closet.

Lady D.

Ah!

[Squeaks.

Beau.

By this light the Cuckold, Presto. nay then Hallo.

[Gets up and runs away.

Sir Da.

Oh Lord, a Man! a Man in my Wife's Chamber; Mur∣der, Murder, Thieves, Thieves, shut up my Doors! Madam! Madam! Madam!

Enter Sir Jolly.

Sir Iol.

Ay, Ay, Theives, Thieves, urder, Murder, where Neigh∣bour, where, where?

Lady D.

Pierce, pierce this wretched Heart hard to the Hilts, dye this in deep∣est crimson of my Blood, spare not a mi∣serable Womans life, whom Heav'n de∣sign'd to be the unhappy object of the most horrid usage Man e'r acted.

Catches up Beaugard's sword which he had left behind him in the burry, and presents it to Sir Davy.

Sir Da.

What in the name of Satan does she mean now?

Lady D.

Curse on my fatal beauty! blasted ever be these two baneful eyes, that could inspire a barbarous Villain to attempt such crimes as all my blood's too little to attone for: Nay, you shall hear me.—

Sir Da.

Hear you, Madam? No, I have seen too much I thank you heartily, hear you Quotha!—

Lady D.

Yes, and before I die too I'l be justified.

Sir Iol.

Justifi'd, oh Lord, justifi'd!—

Lady D.

Notice being given me of your return, I came with speed to this unhappy place, where I have oft been blest with your Embra∣ces, when from behind the Arras out starts Beaugard; how he came there heav'n knows.

Sir Da.

I'l have him hang'd for Burglary, he has broken my House, and broke the Peace upon my Wife, very good!

Lady D.

Straigh•• in his Arms he graspt me fast, with much ado I, plung'd and got my freedom, ran to your Closet door, knock•• and implor'd your aid, call'd on your name, but all in vain—

Sir Da.

Hah!

Lady D.

Soon again he seiz'd me, stopt my mouth, and with a Conquerors fury—

Sir Da.

Oh Lord! oh Lord! no more, no more, I beseech thee, I shall grow mad, I will grow mad, and very mad, I'l plough up Rocks and Adamantine Iron bars, I'l crack the frame of nature, sally out like Tamberlain upon the Trojan Horse, and drive the Pigmies all like Geese before me; Oh Lord stop her mouth! well▪ and how? and what then I stopt thy mouth! well! hah!

Lady D.

No, though unfortunate I still am innocent, his oursed purpose could not be accomplisht, but who will live so injur'd? No I'l die to be reveng'd on my self, I ne'r can hope that I may see his streaming

Offers to run upon the sword.

gore: and thus I let out my own—

Sir Da.

Ha! what wouldst thou do my love, prithy don't break my heart,? If thou wilt kill, kill me; I know thou art innocent, I see thou art; though I had rather be a Cuckold a thousand times than loose thee, poor Love, poor Dearee, poor Baby.

Sir Iol.

Ala••k a day—

[Weeps.

Lady D.

Ah me!—

Sir Da.

Ah, prithee be comforted now, prithee do, why I'l love thee the better for this, for all this Mun, why shouldst he troubled for anothers Ill doings! I know it was no fault of thine.

Sir Iol.

No, no more it was not I dare swear.

Sir Da.

See, see, my Neighbour weeps too, he's troubled to see thee thus.

Lady D.

Oh, but revenge!

Sir Da.

Why thou shalt have revenge, I'l have him murderd, I'l have his throat cut before to morrow morning Child, rise now, pri∣thee rise.

Sir Iol.

Ay do Madam, and smile upon Sir Davy.

Lady D.

But will you love me then as well as e're you did?

Sir Da.

Ay, and the longest day I live too.

Lady D.

And shall I have Justice done me on that prodigious Monster?

Sir Da.

Why, he shall be Crows meat by to morrow night, I tell thee he shall be Crows meat by midnight Chicken.

Lady D.

Then I will live, since so 'tis something pleasant. When I in Peace may lead a happy Life, With such a Husband—

Sir Da.

I with such a Wife.