and Tortures of a great and fruitless Passion. Many days I struggl'd un∣der
that burthen, to which, doubtless I had yielded, if Altezeera's safety,
and the honour of having it committed to my Sword, had not been the
most predominate. Celindus in the mean time assum'd a Resolution of
storming Artaxata in the open day, in a confidence, by so braving an at∣tempt
to efface his late affront, knowing that in all Wars, especially Do∣mestick
ones, the people judge of the progress by the beginning, and that
whoever does lose his reputation, will soon after that, lose his Hopes and
Army. This intelligence was brought me by a faithful and intelligent Spy,
who came from Celindus's Camp, and who had seen the scaling-Ladders, the
Faggots, and the rouling Bridges all fitted. This Advertisement I instant∣ly
communicated to Artabazus and the Council, who were all astonisht at
Celindus resolution, and believ'd he durst not have assum'd it, were he not
favour'd by some of the Garrison; the probability of which opinion
made me have a care of securing all within, as well as opposing those with∣out.
The night before this intended assault, not knowing whether I should
out-live it, and to render my death pleasing, or necessary, I went to Alte∣zeera's
Apartment, where having begg'd, and obtain'd the honour of a
private conference with her, after a small silence, and great disorder, I
told her, I should not, Madam, have presum'd to appear again before you,
to discover my repeated Disobedience, had not I faithfully endeavour'd,
to the uttermost, to have avoided it, but having found, that the Passions
your Beauties do inspire, are not to be cur'd but by you, or death, and
that that Truth cannot be a greater one than that is, that you are resolv'd
to decline being my Restorer; I am come, Madam, to conjure you by
your own quiet, and mine, to permit me in this following occasion to seek
out, and embrace a cure, your Justice, or cruelty denies me. Did not I
conclude, that the ending of my life now would be more advantageous
to you, than the continuance of it could prove, during the Siege and
Danger, I would rather groan under my Miseries, than ambition for them
such a period. 'Tis not much, fair Altezeera, that the miserable Artavas∣des
implores; for he begs not that you would make him happy, but that
you would permit him to be no longer miserable, which will not onely act
his cure, but your revenge also for having needed it: On which latter he is as
intent as on the former, and desires it as much on your score as his own.
These words deliver'd with a Look and Accent, that were very moving,
prov'd so with her, to whom they were addrest, who with a countenance
that told me so, reply'd. Though I confess your perseverance in your
Passion, and Disobedience, does much trouble me, yet I know not whe∣ther
your death would do it more, and till I have resolv'd that doubt,
I desire you not to do it; and if that be not sufficient, I command you
it, and shall judge of what you would perswade me, by observing whe∣ther
what I say can perswade you. If, Madam (I reply'd) my sufferings
were with hope, I might by my Reason, raise my Fortitude to the requi∣site
height, and therefore I do now in some sort, rejoyce at the unpro∣misingness
of my condition, that as my Flame excels all others, so the
Beauty which inspires it, may abundantly find by Obedience, the visi∣bility
of that distinction, to be as great in the Effect, as in the Cause.
But, Madam, I humbly conjure you, if in the duty of preserving you,
I fail in that other of obeying you, ascribe it to the real Cause, and
give my death that sensibility which you have deny'd my Life.
This is a Mercy which Compassion may obtain, if not Cloak, and though
I should ambition the last, yet I dare not hope it, and implore your