CCXI sociable letters written by the thrice noble, illustrious, and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

CCI.

Dear Sister Ann,

I Cannot Advise you to Marry, unless Men's Souls, Minds, and Appetites, were as Visible to your Knowledge as their Persons to your Eyes, for though there may be much Deceit even in Outward Forms, or Aspects, yet not so much, but (if there be Defects) there will be some Appearance, but the Defects of the Mind, Soul, or Appetites, may be so Obscured, as not to be Perceived till you find you are Unhappy by them; indeed there is so much Danger in Marrying, as I wonder how any dare Venture, yet there is less Danger for Women than Men, by reason a Man may receive a Fix'd Disgrace both to himself and his Posterity, by the Wifes Adultery, where the Wife can receive no Dis∣honour if she be Honest and Chast; but though she can receive no Dishonour by her Husband's Adultery, yet she may be very Unhappy by his Opposite Disposition, Cross Humours, and Un∣ruly Passions, which Antipathy may not only be a Hindrance to the Peace of this Life, and Tranquillity of the Mind, but Indanger the Glory of a Future Life, for Mankind is apt from the Troubles of their Minds, to Curse Fortune, and to Murmur against Heaven, unless they have a Supernatural Patience; besides, Men are most

apt to run into Vices in a Discontented Humor, and are alwayes Wandering Abroad to Divert their Home-Disquiets, not that they need to go out of Doors to Seek Vice, for Vice Dwells in most Houses or Families, but that by going into many Houses or Families, they may take Infe∣ction from every one, for Vice many times is Multiplied by Acquaintance, I mean General Acquaintance, not Particular Societies; but I speak not this, as Believing you can be Infected, being Secured by the Antidote of Virtue, the Spirit of Grace, and the Balsam of Honour, which Nature, Heaven, and Education gave you; but though you cannot be Infected, yet should you seek Diversion by much Company, being of the Female Sex, you might be Suspected; Neither will I have you think by this Discourse, as if I did not Approve of Marriage, for if you do, you Mistake me, there being no Life I Approve so well of, as a Married Life, where as much Sym∣pathy Joyns Souls, and Affection Hearts, as Ce∣remony Joyns Hands; but to live with Antipathy must needs be very Unhappy, and if you be so, there is no way to Help your self, for if you be once Tied with the Matrimonial Bond, there can be no Honourable Divorce but by Death, for all other Divorces are Marked with some Disgrace, either more or less, and the Least Disgrace is too Much; wherefore, if you Marry, choose a Husband rather by the Ear than the Eye, for the World seldom gives an Undeserved Praise, but often Detracts from the Deserver, for it seldom

gives Merit its Due; But the Safest Way is to Live a Single Life, for all Wives, if they be not Slaves, yet they are Servants, although to be a Servant to a Worthy Husband, is both Pleasure and Honour, for true Affection takes more Pleasure to Serve than to be Served, and it is an Honour to Obey the Meritorious; but where there is a Hazard in the Choice, and a Se∣curity in not Choosing, the Best is to be Mistress of your self, which in a Single Life you are. But whether Married or not Married, my Wish∣es and Prayers are, that you may be as Happy as this World can make you, and in that I shall be a Sharer with you, as being

Your very Loving Sister.