CCXI sociable letters written by the thrice noble, illustrious, and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

CXCIX.

MADAM,

YOu were pleased to desire me to send you word how the Poets were Feasted, and I my self amongst the rest, which was thus; Na∣ture sent the Muses to Invite all the Poets to a Banquet of Wit, and Invited also me a Poetess, or rather Poetastress; I went, and entred into a Large Room of Imagination, Hung with Imagi∣nary Hangings of Conception, wherein were the Pictures of Ideas, in which Room were a number of Poets met, as Nature's Guests, which when I Saw, I was extremely out of Counte∣nance, as being all Men, and never a Woman but my self, insomuch as I knew not how to Behave my self, but at last, holding up my Head, which was bent downwards through Bashfulness, I saw my Lord one of the Chief Guests amongst them, which Sight gave me Confidence, insomuch as I went to him, and stood close by him, but the Muses to Oblige one of their Sex, came to me, and Saluted me, and bid me very Welcom, and after they had Sa∣luted

me, they Crowned every Poet there with Poetical Bayes, and Placed every one in a Chair of Celestial Flame, which had you seen, you would have thought we had been in so many Firy Chariots ready to Ascend up to the Hea∣vens; then was every one Placed round about the Table, and we took our Places according to every ones Poetical Inspiration, but the Table we were set to, was a strange Table, for never was seen the like, it was made of all the Famous Old Poets Sculs, and the Table-cloth or Cover∣ing was made of their Brains, which Brains were Spun by the Muses, for they are Spinsters of Mens Brains, as the Fates are of the Lives of Men; but these Old Poets Brains were Spun into Cobweb Threads, as Soft and Thin as Air, and then VVomen into a Piece, or VVeb, and Old Time was the VVeaver which VVeaved this VVeb like Damask or Diaper, in VVorks and Figures of Golden Numbers. Thus we see Nature Transforms Souls into Tables, and Brains into Table Coverings, the Napkins for the Hands was Pure Fine VVhite Paper, all over-wrought with Black Letters, and the Edg∣es round about were Gilded; also there were upon the Table, Plates, Salt-sellers, Knives and Forks, the Plates were made of the Films or Drums of Sensible Ears, and the Knives that were to cut the Meat laid thereon, were Ora∣tors Tongues, the Trencher Salt-sellers, which were set by every Plate, were made of the Chrystalline part of Observing Eyes, and the

Salt that was put therein, was made of Sea-wa∣ter, or Salt-tears, which usually Flow from a Tragick Vein, the Forks that were to bear up the Meat to the Tast of the Understanding, were Writing pens; The Table being thus Cover∣ed and Ordered, and the Guests set round, ready for the Feast, in came the Muses with Basons of Water, fetch'd from the Well, or Spring of He∣licon, for the Poets to Wash before they did Eat, and after they had Wash'd, the Muses carried those Basons forth, and then brought in many several Dishes of Poetical Meats, Placing them on the Table; the first was a Great dish of Po∣ems, Excellently well Dress'd, and Curious Sawce made of Metaphors, Similitudes, and Fancies, and round the Sides or Verges of the Dish, were laid Numbers and Rimes, like as we use on Corporeal Dishes and Meats, to lay Dates, or Flowers, or Slices of Limmons, or the like; then was there a Dish of Songs, brought by the Lyricks, it was very Delici∣ous Meat, and had a most Sweet Relish, it was Dress'd vvith a Compounded Savvce of many several Airs, Notes, and Strains; then vvere there tvvo Dishes of Epigrams, I think one of them was Martial's, for they were Powdered, or Brined Highly with Satyrical Salt, the other Dish was so Luscious with Flattery, as I could not Feed much thereon; then there vvas a Dish of E∣pithalamiums, but that Meat vvas Dress'd so Strong and Rank, as it vvas Nauseous

to me; then there was a Hash of Anagrams, Letters, and Names, Hashed, or Minced toge∣ther, but I did not like it; then there was a Dish of Funeral Elegies well Drest, but it was so Sad and Heavy Meat, as I durst not Feed much thereon; then there was a Dish of Comedies, Excellently well Drest, with Scenes, the Sawce was Compounded, but very Savoury, being Compounded of divers Humors, and the Dish Graced or Garnished with Smiles and Laugh∣ter; the next dish to that were Tragedies, but those were Drest as we Dress Corporeal Shoul∣ders of Mutton, or Venison, in the Blood, Stuff'd with Sighs, as the other with Herbs, and Salted with Tears. Then came an Olio, or Bisk of Characters, and after that was a Dish of Morals, which is a Meat more Wholsome than Pleasant, the Chief Sawce was Temperance, but it was mix'd with other several Virtues and Passions; then was a Dish of Natural Philosophy, a Dish I love to Feed on, although the Meat is very Hard, and not Easily to be Digested; it is Drest with Divers and Different Compounds and In∣gredients, as the four Elements, and all manner of Vegetables and Minerals, the Gold is Cor∣dial, and the Iron or Steel is Strengthening, as also Opening Obstructions, which is very Wholsom; then there were Joynted, or rather I may say Chop'd, Animals, as Blood, Bones, and Flesh, all Chop'd, Stew'd, Boiled, and Bak'd together in their own Fat or Grease; this Dish was so Great and Full, as it might have Fed

Numbers, indeed it was an Infinite Hash, and an Infinite deal of Meat; then there was a Grand Sallet of Rhetorick, with Oyl of Eloquence, al∣so a Bag-pudding of Sciences, made of Mathe∣matical Cream, Logistical Eggs, and Astronomi∣cal Spices, which were Strewed as Thick as the Stars of the Skie; Likewise a Great Pie of Arts, Made, or Rais'd by Prentices, and Bak'd in the Oven of Time, Heated with the Fire of Labour, and was seven years a Baking, the Crust was Hard, Strong, and Thick; then there was a Quelquechose of Rallery, but whatsoever the Meat was, the Sawce was Naught, for it was made of Ingredients, as bad as Poor People Dress their Corporeal Meat with, as Lamp-oyl, Dead Vinegar, Rotten Pepper, and Stinking Garlick, as Foolish Jests, Dull, Spiteful Replies, Rude Familiarity, often Repetitions, and Re∣proaches, so as there was Sweet, Bitter, Sour, and altogether Mix'd, of this Dish I Tasted not, I was Sick at the Presence of it; as for the De∣sert, it was Musick of all sorts, Sweet, and Har∣monious; the Drink we had at this Feast was Animal Spirits instead of Sack, and Vital Spirits for Rhenish Wine, but when we had Feasted as much as we would, or could, we Rose from the Table, saying a Grace of Thanks to Nature, and intending to take our Leaves, but the Muses per∣swaded us to walk up to the Top of Pernassus Hill, to Digest our Feast, lest we should Surfet, and when we came up to the Top of the Hill, we saw round about a most Pleasant Prospect of

Nature's Works, but because we should see Farther than her Ordinary Work, the Mu∣ses gave every one a Prospective Glass, where we saw other Worlds, Creatures, and Cele∣stials, but some saw not so Far, or so Much as others, not but that the Prospective Glasses were all of an Equal Goodness, but some had not so Good an Eye-sight as others; and after we had walked down the Hill, every one took his leave of the Muses & Departed, but the Lyrick, and the Comick Muse did so Imbrace and Kiss my Lord, as they made me almost Jealous, for though all the Muses made Civil and Obli∣ging Addresses to him, yet not so Pleasant, and so Galliard as these two were, and there∣fore I made the more Hast to Depart, that I might Separate my Lord from them, and so returning home to my House, I rest,

Madam,

Your Ladiships faithful Friend and Servant.