Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

ACT III:

Scene 8.

Enter the Lady Victoria, and many of her Amazons, then enters a Messenger from the Masculine Army.

MEssenger.

May it please your Excellence, our Lord General and the rest of the Commanders have sent you and your Heroicks a Letter, desiring it may be read in a full Assembly.

Lady Victoria.

One of you take the Letter and read it.

One of the women takes the Letter and reads it to all the Company.

THE LETTER.

To the most Excellent of her Sex, and her most worthy Heroickesses.

YOu Goddesses on Earth, who have the power and dominion over men, 'tis you we worship and adore, we pray and implore your better opinions of us, than to believe we are so unjust as to take the Victory out of your fair hands, or so vain-glo∣rious as to attribute it to our selves, or so ungratefull as not to acknowledg our lives and liberties from your valours, wisdoms, and good fortune, or so imprudent as to neglect your power, or so ill-bred as to pass by you without making our addresses, or so foolish as to go about any action without your knowledge, or so unmannerly as to do anything without your leave; wherefore we entreat you and pray you to believe that we have so much honour in us, as to admire your beauties, to be attentive to your dis∣courses, to do••e on your persons, to honour your virtues, to divulge your sweet gra∣ces, to praise your behaviours, to wait your commands, to obey your directions, to be proud of your favours, and we wear our lives only for your service, and believe we are not only taken Captives by your Beauties, but that we acknowledge we are bound as your Slaves by your valours: wherefore we all pray that you may not misinterpret our affections and care to your persons, in believing we sent you away because we were weary of you, which if so, it had been a sin unpardonable, but we sent you away for your safety, for Heaven knows your Departure was our Hell, and your Absence our Torments; but we confess our errours, and do humbly beg our pardons, for if you had accompanied us in our Battels, you had kept us safe, for had we fought in your presence, our Enemies had never overcome us, since we take courage from your Eyes, life from your smiles, and victory from your good wishes, and had become Conque∣rours by your incouragements, and so we might have triumpht in your favours, but hereafter your rules shall be our methods, by which we will govern all our actions, attending only wholy your directions, yet give us leave humbly to offer our advise as Subjects to their Princess if you think ••it, we think it best to follow close the victory, lest that our Enemies recruit their forces, with a sufficient strength to beat us out of

what we have gained, or at least to hinder and oppose our entrance, and hopes of Conquering them, where if you will give us leave we will besiege and enter their Towns, and rase their Walls down to the ground, which harbour their disorders, of∣fending their Neighbours Kingdoms; yet we are not so ambitous as to desire to be Commanders, but to join our forces to yours, and to be your assistants, and as your Common Souldiers; but leaving all these affairs of War to your discretion, offering our selves to your service,

We kiss your hands, and take our leaves for this time.

All the women fall into a great laughter, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Lady Victoria.

Noble Heroickesses, by your valours, and constant, and re∣solute proceedings, you have brought your Tyrants to be your Slaves; those that Commanded your absence, now humbly sue your presence, those that thought you a hindrance have felt your assistance, the time is well altered since we were sent to retreat back from the Masculine Army; and now no∣thing to be done in that Army without our advise, with an humble desire they may join their forces with ours: but gallant Heroickesses, by this you may perceive we were as ignorant of our selves as men were of us, think∣ing our selves shifdels, weak, and unprofitable Creatures, but by our actions of War we have proved our selves to be every way equal with men; for what we want of strength, we have supplied by industry, and had we not done what we have done, we should have lived in ignorance and slavery.

All the Female Commanders.

All the knowledge of our selves, the honour of renown, the freedome from slavery, and the submission of men, we ac∣knowledge from you; for you advised us, counselled us, instructed us, and encouraged us to those actions of War: wherefore to you we owe our thanks, and to you we give our thanks.

Lady Victoria.

What answer will you return to the Masculine Army?

All the Commanders.

What answer you will think best.

Lady Victoria.

We shall not need to write back an answer, for this Mes∣senger may deliver it by word of mouth; wherefore Sir pray remember us to your General and his Commanders, and tell them, that we are willing upon their submissions to be friends, and that we have not neglected our good Fortune, for we have laid siege to so considerable a Fort, which if ta∣ken, may give an easy passage into the Kingdome, which Fort we will de∣liver to their forces when they come, that they may have the honour of ta∣king it; for tell them, we have got honour enough in the Battel we fought, and victory we did win.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Monsieur la Gravity, Monsieur Compagnion, and Monsieur Comerade.

MOnsieur Compagnion.

We are bound to curse you Monsieur Gravity, for retarding our visits to the Widows, for I told you we should come too late if we did not go before their Husbands were buried

Monsieur la Gravity.

But I do not hear they have made a promise to marry any as yet.

Monsieur Compagnion.

That's all one unto us, but the noblest, youngest, richest, and fairest VVidow is gone; for though she is not promised or married, yet she is incloistered, and that is worse than marriage; for if she had been married there might have been some hopes her Husband would have died, or been kill'd, or some wayes or other Death would have found to have taken him away.

Monsieur Comerade.

Let us comfort our selves with hopes, that it is but a Ladies humour, which she will be soon weary of, for when her Melan∣choly ••it is over, she will come forth of her Cloister, and be fonder to marry than if she had never gone in.

Monsieur la Gravity.

VVell, since she is gone, let us assault the other.

Monsieur Compagnion.

VVhat, the old woman that hath never a Tooth in her head?

Monsieur Comerade.

VVhy, she is rich, and she will kiss the softer for ha∣ving no Bones in her mouth.

Monsieur Compagnion.

The Devill shall kiss her before I will; besides, an old woman is thought a Witch.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Pish, that is because they are grown ill-favoured with Age, and all young people think whatsoever is ill-favoured belongs to the Devill.

Monsieur Compagnion.

An antient man is a comely sight, being grave and wise by experience, and what he hath lost in his person, he hath gained in his understanding; besides, beauty in men looks as unhandsome as age in wo∣men, as being effiminate; but an old woman looks like the picture of En∣vy, with hollow Eyes, fallen Checks, lank Sides, black pale Complexion, and more Wrinkles than time hath Minutes.

Monsieur Comerade.

Nay by your favour, some old women look like the full Moon, with a red, swell'd, great, broad face, and their Bodies like as a spungy Cloud, thick and gross, like our fat Hostess.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Gentlemen, why do you rail against antient women so much, since those that are wise will never marry such Boyes as you?

Monsieur Compagnion.

It is to be observed, that alwayes old Girls match themselves with young Boyes.

Monsieur la Gravity.

None but Fools will do so.

Monsieur Compagnion.

VVhy did you or any man else ever know a wise old woman, or a chast young woman in their lives? for the one dotes with Age, the other is corrupted with Flattery, which is a Bawd to self-conceit.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Grant it be so, yet it is better to marry an old doting Fool, than a wanton young Fille.

Monsieur Compagnion.

For my part, I think now it is the best way to marry none, since Madam Iantil is gone, but to live like the Lacedemonians, all in Common.

Monsieur la Gravity.

I am of another opinion, wherefore if you will go along with me to the old VVidow Madam Passionate, and help to Counte∣nance my Sute, I shall take it as an act of Friendship.

Monsieur Comerade.

Come, we will be thy Pillars to support thee.

Exeunt.

Scene 10.

Enter Nell Careless, and Doll Pacify.

DOll Pacify.

What, doth thy Lady resolve to live an Anchoret?

Nell Careless.

I think so.

Doll Pacify.

How doth she pass away her time in her solitary Self?

Nell Careless.

Why, as soon as she rises she goeth to my Lords Tomb, and sayes her Prayers, then she returns and eats some little Breakfast, as a Crust of Bread and a Draught of Water, then she goeth to her Gallery and walks and Contemplates all the Forenoon, then about twelve a Clock at Noon she goeth to the Tomb again and sayes more Prayers, then returns and eats a small Dinner of some Spoon-meats, and most of the Afternoon she sits by the Tomb and reads, or walks in the Cloyster, and views the Pictures of my Lord that are placed upon the Walls, then in the Evening she sayes her Evening Prayers at the Tomb, and eats some light Supper, and then prayes at the Tomb before she goeth to Bed, and at Midnight she rises and takes a white waxen Torch lighted in her hand, and goeth to the Tomb to pray, and then returns to Bed.

Doll Pacify.

Faith she prayes often enough in the day, she shall not need to pray at Midnight; but why doth she rise just at Midnight?

Nell Careless.

I know not, unless she is of that opinion which some have been of, which is that the Souls or Spirits of the dead rise at that hour out of their Graves and Tombs, to visit the face of the Earth, and perhaps my Lady watches or hopes to converse by that means with my Lords Ghost: for since she cannot converse with him living, she desires to converse with him dead, or otherwise she would not spend most of her time at this Tomb as she doth; but how doth thy Lady spend her time now?

Doll Pacify.

Faith as a Lady should do, with nourishing her Body with good hear••y meats and drink. And though my Lady doth not pray at Mid∣night, yet she converses with Spirits at that time of Night.

Nell Careless.

What Spirits?

Doll Pacify.

Marry Spirits distilled from Wine and other Cordials, which she drinks when she wakes, which is at Midnight; but do you watch fast and pray as thy Lady doth?

Nell Careless.

No truly, for I feed with the rest of my Ladies Servants, which live within the House without the Cloyster, and they eat and drink more liberally.

Exeunt.

Scene 11.

Enter Monsieur la Gravity, Monsieur Compagnion, and Mon∣sieur Comerade, as to Madam Passionates House; enter Ma∣dam Passionates Gentleman Usher.

MOnsieur la Gravity.

Sir, we come to kiss the hands of the Lady Passio∣nate, if you please to inform your Lady of us.

Gentleman Usher.

I shall, if't please you to enter into another Room.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter Doll Pacify, as to her Lady Madam Passionate in her Chamber where her Cabinets were.

DOll Pacify.

Madam, there are three Gentlemen come to visit you, de∣siring you would give them leave to kiss your hands.

Madam Passionate.

Shut down the lid of the Seller of Strong-waters, and rid away the loose things that lie about, that my Chamber may appear in some order.

The Maid sets things in order, whilst the old Lady is trimming her self in the Look∣ing-glass.

Madam Passionate.

Bring in those Gentlemen?

The Maid goes out, then enters with the Gentle∣men; the two young men speak to each other the time that Monsieur la Gravity is saluting.

Monsieur Compagnion.

I marry Sir, here is a comfortable smell indeed.

Monsieur Comerade.

Faith the smell of these Spirits overcomes my Spirits, for I am ready to swound.

Then they go and salute the Lady.

Madam Passionate.

Pray Gentlemen sit down.

They sit.

Truly I have had so great a wind in my Stomack as it hath troubled me very much.

Compagnion speaks softly to Comerade.

Monsieur Compagnion.

VVhich to express the better, she rasps at every word to make a full stop.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Perchance Madam you have eaten some meat that disgests not well.

Speaks aside.

Monsieur Compagnion.

A Toad.

Lady Passionate.

No, truly I cannot gess what should cause it, unless it be an old pipin, and that is accounted a great restorative.

She fetches a great sigh.

But I believe it is the drugs of my Sorrow which stick in my Stomack: for I have grieved mightily for my dead Husband rest his Soul; he was a good Man, and as kind a Husband as ever woman had.

Monsieur la Gravity.

But the destinies Madam are not to be controuled, Death seizes on all, be it early or late; wherefore every one is to make their life as happy as they can; since life is so short; and in order to that, you should chuse a new Companion to live withall; wherefore you must marry again.

Lady Passionate.

'Tis true, the Destinies are not to be controuled as you say, wherefore if my Destiny be to marry, I shall marry, or else I shall dye a Widow.

Monsieur Compagnion aside softly, as in the ear of Monsieur Comerade.

Monsieur Compagnion.

She will lay the fault of her second Marriage on Destiny, as many the like foolish actions are laid to Destinies charge, which she was never guilty of.

Monsieur la Gravity.

If I should gess at your destiny, I should judge you will marry again, by the quickness of your Eyes which are fair and lovely.

She simpers.

Lady Passionate.

O Sir you flatter me.

Monsieur Compagnion.

He be sworn that he doth.

Aside.

Lady Passionate.

But my Eyes were good, as I have been told, both by my Glass and Friends, when I was young, but now my face is in the Autumal.

Softly to Comerade aside.

Monsieur Compagnion.

Nay faith, it is in the midst of Winter.

Lady Passionate.

But now you talk of Eyes, that young Gentlemans Eyes (points to Compagnion) do so resemble my Husbands as I can scarce look off from them, they have a good Aspect.

Monsieur Compagnion.

I am glad they have an influence upon your Ladiship.

She speaks as softly to her self.

La. Passion.

By my faith wittily answered, I dare say he is a notable youth.

Sir, for resemblance of him which is dead, I shall desire your continued Acquaintance.

Compagnion softly to Comerade.

Monsieur Compagnion.

She wooes me with her Husbands dead skull.

I shall render my Service to your Ladyship.

She bowes him thanks with simpring and smiling Countenance, and a bridled head.

Monsieur la Gravity softly to himself.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Those young youths I perceive will be my ruin if not prevented. Madam, will your Ladyship honour me so much as to give me the private hearing of a few words.

Lady Passionate.

Yes Sir.

She removes with him a little space.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Madam, although I am not such a one as I could wish my self for your sake, yet I am a Gentleman, and what I want in person or estate, my affection, respect, and tender regard to your person, worth, and merit shall make good; besides Madam, my years suiting to your Lady∣ships will make the better agreement in marriage.

Lady Passionate.

Sir you must excuse me; for though you merit a better wife than I, yet I cannot answer your affections; wherefore I desire you will desist in your Sute, for I am resolved, if I do marry, to please my fancy.

Monsieur la Gravity.

If your Ladyship cannot love me, Heaven forbid I should marry you; wherefore I wish your Ladyship such a Husband as you can fancy best, and love most.

They return to the two other Gentlemen, they all take their leaves.

Madam your most humble Servant.

They go through the Stage, and come upon it again, as it were at the Street Door.

Monsieur la Gravity.

Where is our Coach?

Enter a Footman.

Call the Coach to the Door?

Enter Doll Pacify as from her Lady to Monsieur Compagnion.

Doll Pacify.

Sir, pray give me leave to speak a word or two with you.

Monsieur Compagnion.

As many as you please.

Doll Pacify.

Sir, my Lady desires your Company to morrow to Dinner, but she desires you will come alone.

Monsieur Compagnion.

Pray give your Lady thanks for her favours, and tell her if I can possibly I will wait on her Ladyship.

Doll Pacify goes out.

Monsieur Comerade.

Now what encouragement have you from the old Lady?

Monsieur Compagnion.

Faith so much as I am ashamed of it, for she invites me to come alone.

Monsieur Comerade.

On my life if thou wilt not woo her, she will woo thee.

Monsieur Compagnion.

Like enough; for there is nothing so impudent as an old woman, they will put a young man be he never so deboist out of Countenance.

Monsieur Comerade.

But faith consider of it, for she is rich.

Monsieur Compagnion.

So is the Devill, as Poets say, Pluto the God of riches.

Monsieur Comerade.

I grant it, and is not he best served? for every one bows with respect, nay worships and adores riches, and they have reason so to do, since all are miserable that have it not, for Poverty is a torment beyōd all suf∣ferance, which causes many to hang themselves, either in the Chain of Infa∣my, or in a Hempen rope, or to do act; against the strict Laws of a Common∣wealth which is to commit self-murther; besides, Poverty is the Slave and druge, the scorn and reproach of the World, & it makes all younger Brothers Sherks, and meer Cheats, whereas this old Ladies riches will not only give you an honest mind, and create noble thoughts, but will give you an honourable reputation in the VVorld: for every one will think you Wise although you were a Fool, Valiant although you were a Coward, and you shall have the first offers of all Offices, and all Officers will be at you devoti∣on, they will attend you as Slaves, the Lawyers will plead on your side, and Judges will give sentence according as you desire, Courtiers will flatter you, and Divines will pray for you in their Pulpits, and if your old Lady dy, and leave you her wealth, you shall have all the young beautifull Virgins in the Kingdome gather to that City, Town, or Village where you live, omitting no Art that may prefer them to your affection.

Monsieur Compagnion.

You say well, and I could approve of your Counsel, if she would dy soon after I had married her.

Monsieur Comerade.

VVhy, put the case she should live a great while, as the truth is old women are tough, and indure long, yet you will have her Estate to please your self withall, which Estate will buy you fine Horses, great Coaches, maintain Servants and great Retinues to follow you.

Monsieur Compagnion.

But she is so divellish old.

Monsieur Comerade.

VVhy, let her keep her Age to her self, whilst you keep a young Mistress to your self, and it is better to have an old Wife that will look after your Family, and be carefull and watchfull therein, and a young Mistriss, than a young Wife, which will be a Tyrannical Mistriss, which will look after nothing but Vanities, and love Servants, whilst you poor wretch look like a contented Cuckold, and so out of Countenance as you dare not shew your face, whilst she spends your Estate running about with every vain idle fellow to Playes, Masks, Balls, Exchanges, Taverns, or meets at a pri∣vate Friends private Lodging, also making great Feasts and Entertainments, where after Dinner and Supper, there must be gaming at Cards and Dice; where for her honour, or at least seeming so, to lose five hundred or a thou∣sand pounds away, and when they rise with or from their losses, singing with a feigned voice, as if it were a trifle not to be considered or considera∣ble, thus if you marry an old and rich Lady you may live and spend her Estate, but if you marry for youth and beauty, your wife will live and spend your Estate; besides, the Husband of an old Lady lives like the great Turk, having a Seraglio, but marrying a young wife you live like a Prisoner never durst show your head.

Monsieur la Gravity.

He gives you good Counsel, and let me advise you to go to this Lady as she hath invited you, for I perceive she hath a young Tooth in her old head by refusing me, and there is none so fit to pull it out as you are, wherefore go.

Monsieur Compagnion.

Well Gentlemen, I will try if my Reason and your Counsel can prevail in my choice.

Exeunt.