Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

Scene 21.

Enter the Lady Solitary, the Lady Examination, and the Lady Censurer.

EXamination.

How have you imployed the ten shillings got by singing?

Censurer.

I must tell you, I have been extremely troubled how to imp∣loy it, insomuch as my Mind hath never been at rest; for their hath been such arguing and disputing and contradiction amongst my Thoughts, as I did verily believe there would have been a mutiny in my head: for first I did resolve to put my ten shillings to pious uses, and then I thought to build some Alms Houses, as building one long room like a Gallery, making in it several Partitions, and the outward dores all a-like; these Houses, or rather partitioned rooms, for poor old and infirm persons, that could not work nor beg for their livelyhood, to live in; but when I had well considered, that when I had built my Alms Houses, which is as I said one long Room divided by Partitions, I should have nothing left to maintain them, and they to have only House-room, and have neither Meat, Drink, Clothes, nor Fi∣ling to feed them and to keep them from the injuries of the cold, having neither Fires nor Beds, I thought the Parish wherein they were Born, would better provide for them, so that instead of praying for me, they would Curse me; besides I considered, that after I was dead, had I means to leave an al∣lowance, yet when it came for the Magistrates to chuse, those that should be put in they would leave out, and chuse idle young Huswives, or foul Sluts to dwell therein, such as those Magistrates would visit sometimes, to see what they did want, so as I let that design pass; then I thought to build a Church, and much were my thoughts concerned, whether the Roof should be flat, or vaulted, or sloping; but after I had resolved how the Roof should be, and where the Belfrey and Quest-room, I was sore perplex'd in my Mind, as where or how to place the Pulpit, whether at the East or West end, or at a Corner in the Church, or at one of the sides of the Church close by the Wall, but at last I resolved it should be placed in the midst of the Church, in the very Centre, that the voice of the Minister might spread round to the Circumference, so as all the Congregation might hear him; but when I con∣sidered that when my Church was bnilt there was neither Benefices, Lands, nor Tithes, nor any allowance for the Minister, and that there was none that did or will preach meerly for Gods sake, but for gains sake, as to have a maintenance thereby, or some advancement therefrom, I desisted from that design; then I thought to build a Bedlam, and be the Keeper my self, but I considered that if any of the mad folkes should get loose, they might kill me, besides they stink so horribly, and require so much cleansing, not being capa∣ble of keeping themselves clean, as I resolved not to go forward with that design; then I thought to build a free School, and I to be the chief Tutoress my self, but when I remembred the confused noise the Scholars make read∣ing all at once, that neither I could hear nor they understand what they read, I thought it would be to no purpose, because the Scholars would profit but little by their reading, and then I should be thought an ignorant Tutoress; at last I thought to give my ten shillings to the poor Beggars, but when I con∣sidered the Alms that was given to Beggars did more harm than good,

causing them to be idle and lazy, and incouraged them to go roving and Ro∣guing about, I chang'd my Mind from that Act, but finding I could not imploy my ten shilligns in any pious Act, I thought to imploy it in something to be remembred by, as for Fame, whereupon I resolved to build a Pyramide or Cross, the Pyramide to be vastly high, and the Cross to be gloriously gilt, but then searing a Rebellion, and knowing that in a Rebellion a Confused and su∣perstitious rout, would certainly pull them down to the ground, and that when the Cross or Pyramide was down, I should be utterly forgottten, I de∣sisted from that design; so finding as little imployment for my money to any famous act as to any pious use, I resolved to imploy it to my profit, so then I had a design to set up a Shop of small wares, but when I considered how dead Trading was, and how fast Tradesmen did break, and instead of being inriched became poorer than when first they begun, for to set up a Trade requires some stock, but when they break, they have not only lost their stock, but owe more than ever their stock was, so I went from that design; then I intended to buy me a parcell of Land with my ten shillings, but hearing there was much danger in buying of Land, for that many have morgaged their Lands to one, and sold them to another, or by an old Deed that hath layen in some old Trunck, Desk, or Box, which may be brought forth to claim the Land again, so as I must be forced to go to Law for my Land I bought, which would cost me more than my Lands, besides the infinite pains and trouble in following my Law Sute, and vext with querkes, and quilters Lawyers find to prolong the Sute, or else I must let my Land go, so lose it, finding this, I thought to put my money out to use, but then I con∣sidered that first I had only a piece of Parchment for my money, besides, it is a general rule that few or none take up money at use, but those that are Banckrouts, and when they had once got my money into their hands, I should neither get Use or Principal, for should I Imprison them, I should be never the neerer to get my money, for where there is nothing to be had, sayes the old Proverb, the King must lose his right; after this I intended to build a Ship, and Traffick with it on the Seas, but then considering the Various Winds, the Tempestuous Storms, the rough Seas, the lurking Sands, the dreadfull Rocks, the gaping Flouds that might split and swallow my Ship, and be drowned my self; I was resolved not to follow that design; then I thought to buy a place at Court, but when I considered how I must cringe and creep, flatter, rail, and be factious, and at last the expences at Court would be more than the profit of my place, by which I should become a Beggar, or at least a Shark, I left off that design; but after all these considerati∣ons I concluded with my self that the most profitablest way to imploy my ten shillings was to build a Bawdy house, for I was sure that as soon as ever it was built Customers would resort thereunto; besides it was the most certain gain that was, without any expences, whereas all other Trades or Professi∣ons require means or stocks to begin with, whereas in these Professions or Trade the poorest may set up without borrowing or begging, for a stock to begin with; neither can alterations of times ruin it, for in all times whether Peace or Wars, and in all Nations, this Trade never fails, whereunto if you please to come Ladyes, you shall be very welcome.

Solitary.

It will not agree with my humour, for I love Solitariness, and there will be too much Company.

Censurer.

There may be a great resort, but their Conversation is by single Couples.

Examination.

You are a wag Lady Censurer.

Exeunt.