Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

ACT V.

Scene 39.

Enter the Lady Inconstant, and Monsieur Disguise.

LAdy Inconstant.

O my Dear love, I have such an opportunity, that For∣tune could never have given me a better; for my Husband is fallen Sick, and if I Poyson him now, the VVorld will say, and think it was his Sickness that kill'd him, and that will secure me.

Disguise.

I he be Sick, perchance he may dye, and that will save you the labour, and hazard of poysoning.

Inconstant.

O But if he should recover again, then I were undone; where∣fore I will not venture to rely upon his Sickness.

Disguise.

Use your discretion, but tis not fit we should be seen together; wherefore, I will kiss your hands, and leave you for a time.

Inconstant.

And I hope the next time we meet, we shall be rid of the ob∣structor of our loves:

Exeunt.

Scene. 39.

Enter the Lady Wanton, and the Lady Procurer.

LAdy Wanton.

Madam, did you give Monsieur Amorous the present I sent you to give him?

Procurer.

Yes, there was Shirts, Caps, and Handkerchiefs, of each two dozen.

Wanton.

There were so.

Procurer.

They were of the finest Holland, and Flanders Lace, that ever I saw, what might the present cost you?

Wanton.

Not much above five hundred pounds.

Procurer.

You speak as if it were but a slight present, but if your Husband knew of it, he would think it were too much by four hundred ninety and nine pound nineteen shillings eleven pence halfpeny farthing.

Wanton.

But what said Monsieur Amorous, when you presented that pre∣sent, as from me?

Procurer.

At the first he would not receive the present, saying it was too costly, and that he could not return enough thanks for it, and so should seem as ungratefull against his will; but at last upon my perswasion, he took your present, and to Morrow he will come and give you thanks.

Wanton.

I had rather meet him in some other place, than receive his visit at home, where my Husband is.

Exeunt.

Scene 40.

Enter the Lady Poverty weeping, and two or three Children following her: Then Enters her Husband.

LAdy Poverty.

Husband, how shall these Children live?

Spendall.

By Heavens Providence Wife.

Poverty.

I fear they will starve, unless your providence feeds them.

Spendall.

It was imprudently done to get them.

Poverty.

But now they are got, they must be provided for.

Spendall.

Yes, as Beggers provide for their Children, put them to the Parish.

Poverty.

The Parish will not keep them.

Spendall.

Then sell them to Animal Merchants, they will Traffick with them into the Barbadoes, or Barmudes, or Virginy, or the like places.

Poverty.

And how shall I live?

Spendall.

Why you may go along, and be their Nurse.

Poverty.

And the Merchants Whore.

Spendall.

As you can agree; for he may sell you at as great a prize after, as if you were honest; besides, your Children will prove you to be fruitfull, for which, they will give a double, or trebble price for you; and if you thrive send me word, and I will come to you, if I cannot live here.

Poverty.

I thank you Husband, for you have made me miserably unhappy, by your mispendings, yet you would feed upon my good fortune, if it can be call'd good fortune, to thrive with dishonesty.

Spendall.

Faith Fortune hath undone me; but may be she will be chari∣table to you.

Poverty.

I hope so, for Fortune never befriends those whom Vices be∣sots, and though your deboysteries have undone you, I hope my Virtues will help to save me.

Spendall.

But I never perceived your virtue to do you any good, but for any thing I perceive to the contrary, you are like to starve, for all your virtues.

Poverty.

I hope when I am parted from you and your wickedness, Heaven will powre down some mercy on me.

Exeunt.

Scene 41.

Enter the Lady VVanton, and the Lady Procurer.

LAdy Wanton.

Pray Madam inform me where Monsieur Amorous is, for I have sent two or three times to his Lodging, and my Messenger is an∣swered still he is from home.

Procurer.

He is a wanderer.

Wanton.

I think he is wandred into some other parts of the World, for after he went from us, I sent a dozen Letters, whilst I staid in the Country, and received not one answer.

Procurer.

Faith Madam Monsieur Amorous is one of the lasiest of Mankind.

Wanton.

I am resolv'd when I see him to chide him, for I could not con∣veniently do it when he came to give me thanks for my present.

Enter Sir Thomas Cuckold.

Procurer.

Sir Thomas Cuckold, you are welcome to the Town, for though I have had the Honour to see your Lady two or three times, yet I could not got a sight of you never since you came out of the Country.

Cuckold.

My Wife did wish for your Company whilst we were in the Country, a hundred times.

Procurer.

I should be glad to be in any place, to do my Lady Service.

Cuckold.

I was abroad even now, where I met Monsicur Amorous, who lookt upon me as if he knew me not, or rather as if he did despise me.

Procurer.

Perchance he did not know you.

Cuckold.

His memory must be very short, if he could forget me so soon.

Wanton.

Perchance Husband you lookt strangely upon him.

Cuckold.

Truly Wife I went to imbrace him, as I was used to do, with kind love, and he crost the street to shun me.

Wanton.

I dare lay my life it is some mistake Husband.

Procurer.

Friends (Sir Thomas) must never be exceptious.

Cuckold.

I am not apt to be exceptious, I will assure you Madam no Man is freer from that humour than I am.

Exeunt.

Scene 42.

Enter Sir Francis Inconstant as sick upon a Couch, he being alone.

SIr Francis Inconstant.

This feigned Sickness shall serve as a snare, to catch my Wives design.

Enter the Lady Inconstant.

Lady Inconstant.

My dear heart how are you?

Francis Inconstant.

Very Sick, so Sick as I fear Heaven doth envy my happiness, and will part us by Death.

Lady Inconstant.

The Gods forbid! I hope you will live so long, as to Crown your Virtuous life with aged years.

Francis Inconstant.

O no, I find my life draws towards an end, and Death will separate us from each other; but you being young Wife, will soon for∣get me, placing your love upon some other Man, in whom, all the remem∣brance of me will be buried.

Lady Inconstant.

Dear Husband speak not so Melancholy; your words strike such terrour into my heart, as I cannot indure to hear them, I had ra∣ther Death should strike me, than you; Dear Husband, cheer up your self, your Disease is only Melancholly; wherefore take such nurishing things, as may give your Spirits strength and life; shall I bring you a little Burnt Wine, to comfort your Spirits, or some Jelly broath to strenghten your Stomack?

Francis Inconstant.

If you please VVife.

The Lady Inconstant goes out.

He alone.

Francis Inconstant.

Now for the poysoned Draught.

Enter the Lady with a Porrenger of Broath.

Lady Inconstant.

Here my dear heart, drink this.

He takes the Porrenger, and when it was in his hand, he rises and goeth to the Chamber Door, and locks it.

Lady Inconstant.

VVhat mean you Husband to lock the Door?

Francis Inconstant.

Because none shall enter, untill the Broath be drunk VVife.

She seems to be afraid, and desires to go forth of the Chamber.

He stays her.

Francis Inconstant.

No Wife, you must not go out, for I mean to nourish you with that Broath that you would have nourished me with.

Lady Inconstant.

Why Husband I am not Sick, I do not require Broath.

Francis Inconstant.

O yes VVife, your Soul is Sick, although your Body is well, and this Broath may perchance cure the one, although it kills the other; wherefore drink it.

Lady Inconstant.

I will not.

Francis Inconstant.

You shall, and if you drink it not willingly, I will force it down you throat.

Lady Inconstant.

Dear Husband spare me.

Francis Inconstant.

Why, I give you nothing but that which you prepared for me, and if it were good for me, it is good for you.

Lady Inconstant.

Dear Husband have mercy on me, and I will confess my crimes.

Francis Inconstant.

No VVife, no more mercy than you would have had one me, and therefore drink it:

Lady Inconstant.

'Tis Poyson Husband.

Francis Inconstant.

That is the reason you shall drink it VVife.

Lady Inconstant.

Dear Husband, let me live but to repent my sinns, which like a black thick cloud do cover all my Soul.

Francis Inconstant.

This will be a sufficient punishment, for if you be pu∣nished in this World, you may escape the punishment of the next.

Lady Inconstant.

Good Husband consider youth, that is apt to run into er∣rors, not being guided with good Counsel, as it ought.

Francis Inconstant.

I will consider nothing, and therefore drink it, or by Heaven I will force you to it, and therefore linger not.

The Lady Inconstant takes the Cap, and then kneels and lifts up her eyes to∣wards Heaven, and then prayes.

Lady Inconstant.

You Gods forgive me my crimes, and let this deadly draught purge clean my Soul from sin.

She drinks the poysoned Broath.

Francis Inconstant.

Now VVife have you any Amorous desires to Monsieur Disguise.

Lady Inconstant.

No, the fire of my unlawfull love is quencht.

She sinks to the ground, Heaven receive my Soul; O, O, Husband forgive me.

Dies.

Francis Inconstant.

Ha she is dead, what hath my furious passion done, I was too sudden to crop her tender life so hastily, without more strickt exa∣minations; for it was likely thus spruse Gallant corrupted her with his al∣luring

looks, and smoth inticing words, which he knew well how to apply; and youth is credulous, and women soon perswaded, and being joyned in one they easily are overcome. I do repent.

He walks a turn or two in a Me∣lancholy muse.

I will revenge my self of those that were the cause.

Exeunt.

Scene 43.

Enter the Lady Procurer, and the Lady VVanton.

LAdy Wanton.

Where is Monsieur Amorous that he comes not with you, you said you would bring him with you?

Procurer.

Faith he desires to be excused, for he saith he is not well.

Wanton.

This is but an excuse, for he hath made an hundred within this week; but since he doth neglect me, I will have another that shall be more constant.

Procurer.

You are wise Madam: for since men are so various as they are, women would seem but fools, should they be constant.

Wanton.

Well then Madam, you must do me a favour, for since I became acquainted with Monsieur Amorous, upon your perswasion, you must con∣trive a private meeting for me and another Gentleman, upon my per∣swasion.

Procurer.

Sweet Lady, you do oblige me to imploy me in your Service.

Exeunt.

Scene 44.

Enter two Maid Servants, that were the Lady Poverties.

1 MAid.

O Ursely, I am glad to see thee with all my heart.

2 Maid.

Truly Ioan, so am I to see you.

1 Maid.

When did you hear of our good Lady, the Lady Poverty?

2 Maid.

It was not long since I saw her.

1 Maid.

And how doth she live poor Lady?

2 Maid.

Why she lives privately, but is likely to live happy enough; for let friends have now taken care of her and her Children, upon the condition that she will receive no visits from her Husband, but banish his Company; left he should encrease their charge with more Children; neither will they allow him any thing.

1 Maid.

By my trath he doth not deserve any maintenance; but I am glad she is provided for, being a shiftless creature for her self and Children, but where do you live Ursely?

2 Maid.

Why I live with an old Widower.

1 Maid.

And I with a grave Matronly Widow, wherefore let us endea∣vour

to make a match betwixt them, that so we may live once again in a House together; for you and I were always dear friends you know.

2 Maid.

'Tis true Iane, but as you are my friend I must tell you, I should be an ill friend to my self, if I should perswade my Master to marry.

1 Maid.

Nay if it be so Ursely, make the best of him; and if thou wilt shew me where thou dwellest, I will come and visit thee when I have leisure.

2 Maid.

Come with me, and I will shew you where I live.

Exeunt.

Scene 45.

A Table set out cover'd, and furnish'd with meat. Enter Sir Hum∣phrey Disagree, and the Lady Disagree, and their Friends; every one takes their place, and sits as to eat.

SIr Humphrey Disagree.

Wife, where are the Fidlers that you promist we should have.

Lady Disagree.

I did forbid them to play, untill such time as we had half din'd, for their scraping would hinder our eating.

Humphrey Disagree.

Pray wife let them come in, for I love my meat should dance in my mouth, my teeth keeping just time to the tune; and the Musick will make my meat turn nimbly in my mouth, and will heat my cast to a high gusto.

Lady Disagree.

The noise that they will make, will take away my Stomack, and will make my head ake; besides, no body will hear one another speak, neither will our Servants hear what we call for.

Humphrey Disagree.

It will make our Servants the more diligent, for Mu∣sick will revive their Spirits, and will make them agil; wherefore pray VVife let them come in and play.

Lady Disagree.

No pray Husband let them alone a little while longer.

Humphrey Disagree.

If you keep them out untill our Stomacks be full, we shall be so dull and heavy with the vapour of the meat, as it will not be in the power of Musick to move our minds to mirth, or so drunk with VVine, as the Musick will make us mad.

Lady Disagree.

I hope you will not be mad before you are drunk.

Humphrey Disagree.

No VVife, I will be merry before I am drunk, where∣fore Servants call them in.

She speaks as to the Servants.

Lady Disagree.

Let them alone.

Humphrey Disagree.

I say they shall come and play, and therefore call them in.

Lady Disagree.

I say they shall not come in, nor play, therefore forbid them.

Humphrey Disagree.

Surely I will be Master, and therefore they shall play.

Lady Disagree.

Surely I will be Mistriss of this Feast, and therefore they shall not play.

Humphrey Disagree.

Call them.

Lady Disagree.

Let them alone.

The Servants the while sometimes run as to the door, and then as from it, not knowing whether they should obey.

[Sir Humphrey rises as to call them himself, She rises also.]

Humphrey Disagree.

They shall come and play.

He offers to go, She puls him back.

Lady Disagree.

They shall not play.

He shoves her from him, she takes her Napkin and rouls it, flings it at him, he flings another at her; she takes a Plate, and throws at him, he Curses, and she Scolds, their Friends strive to part them, and in the strife and bussle, down goeth all the Pots and Dishes, and so they go sighting, and striving off the Stage.

The Servants take away all the meat and things, and after all was gone Enter two Maid-Servants.

1 Maid.

Lord there is such doings within, as it is wonderfull, my Master swears, my Lady cries, and rails, and rails and cries.

2 Maid.

in truth it is a sad Feast, and I was joyed to think how merry we should all be.

1 Maid.

And I pleased my self to think, what good cheer we should have, and what dainties we should eat.

2 Maid.

Why, so you may still.

1 Maid.

No Faith in this Hurlyburby every one catcht who catch could, that all is vanish'd, and purloyn'd away in this disorder.

2 Maid.

Come let us go, and see whether they can agree or not.

1 Maid.

That they can never do, so long as the sound of their tongues is within the distance of their Ears; besides nature hath not matcht their dis∣positions, or humours.

2 Maid.

You say right, intruth their Souls are mismatcht, and therefore it is impossible they should ever agree.

Exeunt.

Scene 46.

Enter Sir Francis Inconstant, and Monsieur Disguise.

SIr Francis Inconstant.

Sir my VVife your Mistriss is Dead.

Monsieur Disguise.

No Sir, my Mistriss and your VVhore is Dead.

Inconstant.

You are a Villain to corrupt her.

Disguise.

You are a Villain to marry her.

Inconstant.

Draw, for either or both of us Villains shall dy.

Disguise.

I fear not Death nor you.

They both draw their Swords.

Disguise.

Justice defend the wrong'd, and take my part.

They fight and give each other deadly wounds; Sir Francis Inconstant falls, and as he lay on the ground speaks.

Inconstant.

Heaven is just, to punish perjury with violent Death; O my Conscience, how it stings me at my Death, with the remembrance of the wrongs I did my first love.

Monsieur Disguise sinks close by Sir Francis; and then discovers her self.

Mistriss Forsaken.

Do you know this Face, or have my sorrows disfigur'd it so much, as you cannot call it to remembrance?

Sir Francis Starts.

Inconstant.

You powers above, affright not my fleeting Soul with visions, but let it gently pass, and leave my body to the silent grave.

He directs his Speech to her.

Inconstant.

You Spirit divine, take not revenge; for I am truly sorry for the wrongs I did thee in thy life.

Mistriss Forsaken.

I forgive you, and know I am no Spirit, and though I cannot say I live, because I am dying, yet I am not dead, and that Letter I brought you, was to disguise me the more by a false report; but I have acted the design of my Travel, which was to end my life with yours, for since I could not enjoy you in life, I desir'd to imbrace you by Death, and so I shall.

She flings her arms over him and dyes.

Inconstant.

O my Soul make haste and follow hers.

He kisses her, and on her lips dyes.