Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

THE Second Part of the PLAY Called the MATRIMONIAL TROUBLE A COME-TRAGEDY.

ACT I.

Scene. 1.

Enter the Lady Procurer, and Sir Henry Sage.

LAdy Procurer.

Sir Henry, by reason my Lady is gone abroad, I make bold to visit you.

Sage.

I perceive I am oblig'd to my Wifes absence for your Visit, Madam.

Procurer.

'Faith, to tell you the truth, we women had ra∣ther visit men when they are alone, than when they have company.

Sage.

Then men and women agree better with particular, than with the general.

Procurer.

They do so, yet they love varietyes best.

Sage.

That's natural, for the Senses to delight in variety.

Procurer.

It is so, and yet our Civil and Divine Laws have forbid the use of Varieties, which (me thinks) is very unconscionable and unnatural.

Sage.

But if some of the natural Appetites and Actions were not restrain'd by Laws, no Comman-wealth could subsist.

Procurer.

How did the Lacedemonians subsist? they liv'd all in common; and had not all Greece been imbroyl'd with VVars, their Common-wealth might have lasted to this day.

Sage.

The Lacedemonians had stricter Lawes than the Common-wealth which we live in, and are of: for though they gave more liberty and free∣dom to some Actions than our Governments do, yet they were stricter in o∣thers; and breakers of their Lawes were more severely punish'd, even in the smallest breach, than the breakers of our Laws are almost in the greatest breach.

Procurer.

I am sure the Maker of the Lacedemonian Laws was a wise man,

and a kind-hearted man, in Decreeing for the Increase of Mankino, yet by some of his Laws he seem'd but a Sloven: for he banish'd all curidsity and neatness, and I believe, many conveniences: Also he seem'd to be a man of a weak stomach,

Sage.

He rather seem'd of a strong stomach, and a greedy appetite, by the course diet he brought men to live with; but (for my part) If I should judge of the Lacedemonians Laws, I should judge that they strove to bring men to be like beasts, rather than to make them like as Gods, which men should strive to be.

Procurer.

By your favour Sir, there can be no Law that can keep men from being horned beasts.

Sage.

Whose fault is that, Madam? not mens which make the Laws, but womens that break the Laws.

Procurer.

It is mens fault, for giving women such liberty: And let me tell you Sir, women are such subtil creatures, as they strive first to get an honou∣rable esteem from their Friends and Husbands, and a belief of their Cha∣stity; and when they have secured mens jealousies, they make their Hus∣bands Cuckolds, which all their Neighbours perceive, although the Husband is blind and muffl'd with affection.

Sage.

Madam, your Sex deserve a better Character than you give of them: for by your description there are few chaste.

Procurer.

Every woman knows the humours of her own Sex better than men know the humours of one another: wherefore let me advise you, Sir Henry Sage, to watch my Lady your Wife: for many, to my knowledge, seek for to corrupt her.

Sage.

Madam, although she is one of your Sex, yet she is of an Angelical nature, and not corruptible.

Procurer.

Sir, I am your humble servant, and I wish your Angel may not fall from Virtue into Vice.

Sage.

I have no jealous doubt, Madam.

Procurer.

I wonder at it: for wise men use to doubt.

He leads her forth. Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter Sir Edward Courtly, and the Lady Jealousie.

COurtly.

Wife, I have given you warning twice, beware of the third time, that you receive no Masculine Visiters: for by Heaven, if you do, I will hang you up in my garters.

Iealousie.

Do if you dare, I will have those that shall cut your throat.

Courtly.

You could not fright me with your Champions, were I a coward: for they are Carpet-Knights, and dare not fight.

Iealousie.

They dare more than you dare.

Sir Edward Courtly takes off a garter, or some other string or ribband about his cloaths, and makes her believe he will strangle her.

Courtly.

By Heaven I'll give an Example to all men that love their Honour, and hate to be Cuckolds.

He takes the string, and offers to put it about her neck. She is afraid.

Iealousie.

O Husband, Husband, spare me, spare me.

Courtly.

Wife, you may make me a Fool, but not unman me; you may flatter me, but not frighten me; you may make me commit an indiscretion, but never to be Effeminate.

Iealousie.

O mercy, mercy, Husband, do but spare me this time, and I will be the best wife in the World.

Courtly.

Well, I will pardon you this time; and know, VVife, that though I am willing to part with my Breeches and Doublet to give them you, yet I will never part with my Sword and my Spurs, which is my Courage and my Management: And I will give you all liberty in Vanity, but not in Dis∣honesty; you shall keep the Purse, but not manage the Horse: Also let me tell you, that it is not enough to be honest, but you must give no suspicion to the contrary.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter the Lady Procurer, and the Lady VVanton.

LAdy Procurer.

Come, Come Madam, are you ready? for Monsieur A∣morous hath provided a great and costly Banquet for you.

Wanton.

I am ready, I did only stay for you to go along with me.

Procurer.

But will not your Husband watch whither we go?

Wanton.

O no: for he believes I am going to the Lady Breeders Up∣sitting.

Procurer.

That's well be is so credulous to believe so easily whatsoever you would have him believe, and if he be but as obstinate of belief of that you would not have him believe you are happy, for let me tell you, that all men hath not that spiritual gift of Faith, but have strange opinions, and full of doubts, and suspitions.

VVanton.

Nay, I thank Iove, I have as good a Husband, as any woman whatsoever hath.

Procurer.

Prethee Madam leave some thanks for your loving servant, which loves, and adores you more than he doth Heaven, and worships you as his only Goddess.

VVanton.

He shall not pray in vain, nor shall I be as an Idoll made of Stone, or Brass.

Procurer.

Come your wayes then.

Exeunt.

Scene 4.

Enter Monsieur Disguise alone.

MOnsieur Disguise.

O man! O man! inconstant man! false and perjuri∣ous man! flattering dissembling man! and the worst of Mankind is Sir Francis Inconstant! He hath not only forsaken me, but forgot me, drown∣ing the memory of me in his superfluous Cups. O Pluto, from whence all wickedness proceeds, make his fair Bride as false to him, as he hath prov'd to me, and sill his mind with furious Jealousie.

Exit.

Scene 5.

Enter the Lady Hypocondria, as at her Husband Sir VVilliam Lovewells Closet-door; she knocks at the door.

LOvewel.

Who's there?

Hypocon.

'Tis I, Husband.

She enters.

Lovewel.

I may bid you welcome, VVife: for you are a stranger here.

Hypocon.

Truly Husband, I should not have disturb'd you, but that I was afraid you were not well: for I came two or three times to the door, and heard no noise, which made me afraid you might be in a swoun, or dead.

Lovewel.

I thank you for your loving fear and care of me.

Hypocon.

You may think this is an over-fond humour in me; but I have heard of many that have been found dead in their Beds, and in their Closets, when as their Friends never mistrusted it, but thought they were asleep, or a•• study, which if they had been found or known in time, they might have been recover'd.

Lovewell.

You say true Wife.

Hypocondria.

But now I know you are well, I will not disturb you any longer.

Lovewell.

I will bear your kindness company.

Exeunt.

Scene 6.

Enter Sir Henry Sage, and the Lady Chastity his Wife.

SAge.

VVife, thou art false.

Chastity.

'Tis strange to hear you say so, when but yesterday you made me such protestations of your Faith, believing I was Virtuous, Chaste, and full of Truth, which I did think Time had not power to alter your belief, and such Vows and Protestations of your Affections to me, as if the fire of Love within your heart did burn so clear, and flame so high, as nought could quench it out but Death's cold damps, yet not so much, but still a heat with∣in the ashes would remain.

Sage.

I confess, VVife, my doubts of Love did make me to try, at least to say so to you.

Chastity.

True Love never makes doubts; and though you can dissemble with me, I cannot dissemble with you, could the Gods command me, as they cannot, things unjust.

Sage.

I perceive you are angry, VVife.

Chastity.

No truly Husband, I am rather griev'd than angry, to think my honest truth mistrusted: for Doubts are unjust to great Affections, true Love, and good Intentions; and Examinations are scandalous to a strict chaste life, and makes it seem as criminal: but could the VVorld lay fals∣hood to your charge, and should condemn you, yet my Affections would set you free, and rather tax my self for want of Merit to deserve your Love, than you want love to give Desert.

Sage.

Prethee VVife be not griev'd nor angry, for 'tis natural for Love to be suspicious: wherefore pray forgive my doubts.

Chastity.

My nature is to forgive, and not to bear a grudge or spleen in minde.

Sage.

Then we are friends again.

Chastity.

My love is still the same, not to be alter'd.

Exeunt.

Scene 7.

Enter Mistris Single, the Lady Jealousies sister, and Rail∣lery Jester the Fool.

MIstris Single.

Fool, How many degrees is there in Understanding?

Iester.

Three.

Single.

Distinguish them.

Iester.

There is a Coelestial Understanding, a Terrestrial Understanding, and an Understanding betwixt both, as an Airestial Understanding: Those that are Coelestial, are wise men; those that are Terrestrial, are fools; and those that are betwixt both, as Airestial, are half-witted men.

Single.

I thought you would have said that those that were Terrestrial, were beasts.

Iester.

O no: for beasts are one degree above wise men, two degrees a¦bove half witted men, and three degrees above fools.

Single.

But how will you make that good, that beasts are wiser than wise men?

Iester.

By all their actions: for beasts (for the most part) are more indu∣strious, prudent, temperate, and peaceable, than the best of men; neither do they trouble their heads, nor break their sleeps, about the trifles of the World, but govern their Affairs easily, and live orderly, every several kind agreeing amongst themselves; besides, we are taught to imitate the Ser∣pent and the Dove, and Examples are Principles, and the Original is to be preferr'd before the Copy, the Sample before the Pattern. Thus a Beast is preferr'd before a Wise man, by reason all Men must learn of Beasts to be wise, and of Birds to be virtuously honest, as to be harmless.

Exeunt.

Scene 8.

Enter the Lady Hypocondria, and her Maid Joan.

MAid Ioan.

Certainly Madam, you will starve your self with eating so little.

Hypocon.

Why a little serves Nature.

Ioan.

Yes; but there are great differences betwixt Natures: for mankind requires more food than some kind of beasts or birds; for a man would be starv'd, if he should eat no more than a Dormouse, or a Camelion, or a Sparrow.

Hypocon.

But a Sparrow cannot eat so much as an Eagle, nor an Eagle so much as an Estrich: Likewise, as it is with Bird-kind, so it is with Man∣kind, some would starve with that proportion another would surfet on.

Ioan.

But surely there are none that could surfet with your diet, as with Water and Air, nay (most commonly) nothing but Air, Camelion-like: for you oft times for a week together neither eat bit, nor drink a drop; and that which makes me wonder more, is, that you naturally have a very good sto∣mach, and can eat, when you please, very heartily, and it thrives well with you; but my greater wonder is, that when you do fast, eating now and then a bit, week after week, nay moneth after moneth, yet you are not so lean, as to appear a Skeleton, nor so weak, but you can walk two hours without re∣sting, or being very weary.

Hypocon.

Oh Custome is a second Nature, Ioan.

Ioan.

I would have your Ladyship accustome your self to live without eating, and then you will be set in a Chronicle.

Hypocon.

Who would strive for that, since most think Chronologers are Artificers, and that their Chronicles are false.

Ioan.

Why some will believe it; and it were better to live in the memo∣ry of a few, than to die to all memory, and to live by nothing.

Hypocon.

I would have my Fame live only by singular and transcending Merits, not by singular and melancholy Follies. I know my Errors, though I cannot mend my Faults.

Exeunt.