Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

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Title
Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.
Author
Newcastle, Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of, 1624?-1674.
Publication
London :: Printed by A. Warren, for John Martyn, James Allestry, and Tho. Dicas ...,
1662.
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"Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A53060.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed May 7, 2025.

Pages

Page 212

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation. (Book 2)

The Actors Names.
  • Lord Title.
  • Lord Courtship.
  • Sir Fancy Poet.
  • Sir Experienced Traveller.
  • Sir Humphry Interruption.
  • Sir Golden Riches.
  • Sir Effeminate Lovely.
  • Sir John Argument.
  • Sir Vain Complement.
  • Master Inquirer.
  • Doctor Practice.
  • Old Humanity.
  • ...Roger Farmer.
  • ...Thom. Purveyor.
  • 2. Beadles, Gentlemen and others.
  • Lady Amorous.
  • Lady Ward.
  • Lady Contemplation.
  • Lady Conversation.
  • Lady Visitant.
  • ...Poor Virtue.
  • Mistris Troublesome.
  • Mistris Gossip.
  • Mistris Messenger, Lady Amorous's woman.
  • Nurse Careful.
  • Maudlin Huswife, Roger Farmers wife.
  • Mall Mean-bred, their daughter.
  • Mistris Troublesomes maid.
  • Servants and others.

Page 213

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation,

ACT I.

Scene. 1.
Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.
EFfeminate Lovely.

Sweet-heart, you are a most Heavenly Crea∣ture.

Poor Virtue.

Beauty is created and placed oftner in the fan∣cy, than in the face.

Effem. Lovely.

'Tis said there is a Sympathy in likeness; if so, you and I should love each other, for we are both beautiful.

Poor Virtue.

But 'tis a question whether our Souls be answerable to our Persons.

Effem. Lovely.

There is no question or doubt to be made, but that loving souls live in beautiful persons.

Poor Virtue.

And do those loving soules dye, when their beauties are de∣cayed and withered?

Effem.

The subject pleads it self, without the help of Rhetorick, for Love and Beauty lives and dies together.

Poor Virtue.

'Tis Amorous Love that dies when Beauty is gone, not Ver∣tuous Love; for as Amorous Love is bred, born, lives, and dies with the ap∣petite: so Vertuous Love is Created, and shall live with the Soul for¦ever.

Effem. Lovely.

You may call it what love you please.

Poor Virtue.

It is no love, but a disease.

Exeunt.
Scene 2.
Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.
LOrd Courtship.

Why did you leave the Lady Amorous company so un∣civilly, as to go out of the room, leaving her all alone?

Lady Ward.

I heard your Lordship was coming, then I thought it was fit for me to withdraw; for I have heard Lovers desire to be alone.

Lord Courtship.

Do you desire to be alone with a man?

Lady Ward.

I am no such Lover, for I am too young as yet, but I know not what I shall or may be wrought or brought to, but time and good ex∣ample may instruct and lead me into the way of amorous love.

Lord Courtship.

May it so?

Lady Ward.

Why not? for I am docible, and youth is apt to learn.

Page 214

Lord Court.

But before I marry you, I would have you learn to know how to be an obedient wife, as to be content, and not murmure at my actions, al∣so to please my humour, but not to imitate my practice.

Lady Ward.

If I might advise your Lordship, I would advise you to take such a Portion out of my Estate, as you shall think just or fit, and then quit me, and choose such a one as you shall like, for I shall never please you; for though I may be apt to learn what will please my self, yet I am dull and intractable to learn obedience to anothers will, nor can I flatter their delights.

Lord Court.

I finde you have learned, and now begin to practice how to talk; for now your sober silence seems as dead and buried in the rubbish of follish words; But let me tell you, a talking wife will never please me; wherefore practise patience, and keep silence, if you would enjoy the hap∣piness of peace.

The Lord Courtship goes out.
Lady Ward alone.
Lady Ward.

There can be no peace, when the mind is discontented.

Exit.
Scene. 3.
Enter Lord Title, and Poor Vertue.
POor Virtue.

Why do you follow me so much, as never to let me rest in peace and quiet alone? Is it that you think I have beauty? and is it that you are in love with? why, to cure your disease, I will deform it; or do you think I have wit to cure that Imagination? I will put my tongue to silence. I am sure it cannot be my Vertue that inflames you to an intem∣perance; for Vertue is an Antidote against it: But had you all the beauty in Nature squeez'd into your form, and all the wit in Nature prest into your brain, and all the prosperities of good fortune at your command, and all the power of Fate and Destiny at your disposal, you could not perswade me to yield to your unlawful desires; for know, I am honest without self-ends; my virtue, like to Time, still running forward, my chastity six'd as E∣ternity, without circumferent lines; besides, it is built on the foundation of Morality, and roof'd and cicl'd with the faith of Religion, and the materi∣als thereof are Honour, which no subtil Arguments can shake the one, nor no false Doctrine can corrupt or rot the other; neither is the building sub∣ject to the fire of unlawful love, nor the tempestuous storms of torments, nor the deluge of poverty, nor the earthquakes of fear, nor the ruines of death; for so long as my Soul hath a being, my Chastity will live. But were you as poor as I, even to move pity, or so lowly and meanly born, at might bring contempt and scorn from the proud, yet if your mind and soul were endued with noble qualities, and heroical vertues, I should sooner em∣brace your love, than to be Mistris of the whole World; for my affecti∣on to merit hath been ingrafted into the root of my Infancy, which hath grown up with my yeares, so that the longer I live, the more it in∣creases.

Lord Title.

You cannot think I would marry you, although I would lie with you.

Page 215

Poor Virtue.

I cannot but think it more possible that you should marry me, than I to be dishonest.

Lord Title.

Thou art a mean poor wench, and I nobly descended.

Poor Virtue.

What though I am poor, yet I am honest, and poverty is no crime; nor have my Ancestors left marks of infamy to shame me to the world.

Lord Title.

Thy Ancestors? what were they but poor peasants? where∣fore thou wilt dignifie thy Race, by yielding to my love.

Poor Virtue.

Heaven keep them from that dignity that must be gained by my dishonesty: no, my chastity shall raise a Monumental Tomb over their cold dead ashes.

Poor Virtue goes out.
Lord Title alone.
Lord Title.

What pity it is Nature should put so noble a soul into a mean∣born body.

Exit.
Scene 4.
Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady VVard.
LOrd Courts.

Pray go visit the Lady Amorous, and if her husband be ab∣sent, deliver her this letter.

Lady Ward.

Excuse me my Lord.

Lord Courts.

Wherefore?

Lady Ward.

I am no Carrier of Love-letters.

Lord Courts.

But you shall carry this.

Lady Ward.

But I will not.

Lord Courts.

Will you not?

Lady Ward.

No, I will rather endure all the torments that can be in∣vented.

Lord Courts.

And you shall; for I will torture you if you do not; for I will have you drawn up high by the two thumbs, which is a pain will force you to submit.

The Lady Ward falls into a passion.
Lady Ward.

Do so if you will; nay scrue me up into the middle-Region, there will I take a Thunderbolt, and strike you dead, and with such strength I'll fling it on you, as it shall press your soul down to the everlasting shades of death.

Lord Courts.

Sure you will be more merciful.

Lady Ward.

No more than Devils are to sinful souls; there will I be your Bawd, to procure you variety of torments; for I had rather be one in Pluto's black Court, caused by my own revenge, than to be a Bawd on earth, which is a humane Devil.

Lord Courts.

You are mad.

Lady Ward.

Might every word I speak prove like a mad dogs bite, not only to transform your shape, and turn your speech to barks and howl∣ings, but that your soul may be no other than the souls of beasts are.

Lord Courts.

You are transformed from a silent young Maid to a raging Fury.

Lady Ward.

May all the Furies that Hell inhabites, and those that live

Page 216

on earth, torment your minde, as racks do torture bodies, and may the ve∣nom of all malice, spleen, and spight, be squeez'd into your soul, and poy∣son all content, your thoughts flame like burning oyl, and never quench, but be eternally a siery Animal; and may the fire feed onely on your self, and as it burns, your torments may increase.

The Lady Ward goes out.
Lord Courtship alone.
Lord Courts.

She is mad, very mad, and I have only been the cause.

Exit.
Scene 5.
Enter the Lord Title, and Poor Virtue,
LOrd Title.

Fairest, will not you speak?

Poor Virtue.

My words have betrayed my heart, as discovering the se∣crets therein: wherefore I will banish them, and shut the doors of my lips against them.

Lord Title.

What, for saying you love me. Sweet, why do you weep?

Poor Virtue weeps.
Poor Virtue.

Tears are the best Cordials for a heart opprest with grief.

Lord Title.

I should hate my self, if I could think I were the cause. But pray forbear to weep.

Poor Virtue.

Pray give my grief a liberty, my tears are no disturbance, they showre down without a ratling noise, and silent fall without a murmuring voice; but you disturb me: Wherefore for pity-sake leave me, and I will pray you may enjoy as much prosperity as good fortune can present you with, and as much health as Nature can give you, and as much tranquillity as Hea∣ven can infuse into a mortal creature.

Lord Title.

Neither Fortune, Nature, nor Heaven can please me, or make me happy in this world without you.

Poor Virtue.

O you torment me.

Exit, the Lord follows her.
Scene 6.
Enter Sir Humphry Interruption to the Lady Contemplation.
SIr Humphry Inter.

Surely Lady Contemplation your thoughts must needs be very excellent, that they take no delight but with themselves.

Lady Contempl.

My thoughts, although they are not material, as being pro∣fitable, yet they are innocent, as being harmless.

Sir Humphry Inter.

Yet your thoughts do the world an injury, in burying your words in the grave of silence.

Lady Contempl.

Let me inform you, that sometimes they creep out of

Page 217

their graves as Ghosts do, and as Ghosts walk in solitary places, so I speak to my solitary self, which words offend no ears, because I speak to no ears but my own; and as they have no flatterers to applaud them, so they have no censurers to condemn them.

Sir Humphrey Inter.

But you bury your life, whilst you live retir'd from company.

Lady Contempl.

O no, for otherwise my life would be buried in company; for my life never enjoys it self, but when it is alone; and for the most part, all publick societies are like a discord in Musick, every one playing several contrary parts in their actions, speaking in several contrary notes, striking on several contrary subjects, which makes a confusion; and a confused noise is like a disorder'd multitude, only the one offends the ear, as the other of∣fends the eyes; and there can be no pleasure but in harmony, which harmo∣ny is Quantity, Quality, Symmetry, and Unity; and though quality, quantity, and symmetry are brought by the Senses, yet Unity is made in the mind. Thus Harmony lives in the minde; for without the minde, the senses could take no delight.

Exeunt.

ACT II.

Scene. 7.
Enter the Lady Ward, and Doctor Practice.
DOctor Practice.

How do you Lady?

Lady Ward.

Why very well Doctor, how do you?

Doctor Prac.

Why I was sent, as being believed you are mad.

Lady Ward.

Troth Doctor that's no wonder; for all the world is mad, more or less.

Doctor Prac.

Do you finde any distemper in your head?

Lady Ward.

My head will ake sometimes.

Doctor Pract.

I mean a distemper in your minde.

Lady Ward.

My minde is troubled sometimes.

Doctor Pract.

That is not well: let me feel your pulse.

Lady Ward.

Why Doctor, can you know the temper of my mind, by the feeling of my pulse?

Doctor Pract.

There is a great Sympathy between the Minde and the Body.

Lady Ward.

But I doubt, Doctor, your learned skill is many times de∣ceived by the pulse; you will sooner find a mad distemper in the tongue or actions, than in the wrists.

Doctor Pract.

In troth Lady, you speak reason, which those that are mad do not do.

Lady Ward.

O yes, Doctor, but they doe, as you cure Diseases, by chance.

Exeunt

Page 218

Scene 8.
Enter the Lord Title alone.
LOrd Title.

O Love, dissembling love, that seem'st to be the best of passi∣ons, and yet torments the soul!

He walks in a melancholy muse.
Enter Master Inquirer.
Master Inquirer.

What makes your Lordship so melancholy, as to shun all your friends, to walk alone?

Lord Title.

I am in Love.

Master Inqui.

There are many remedies for love.

Lord Title.

I would you could tell me one.

Master Inqui.

May I know the Lady you are in love with?

Lord Title.

The Lady say you? she is a poor Lady

Master Inqui.

Your Lordship is so rich, as you may marry without a por∣tion,

Lord Title.

O I could curse my fate, and rail at my destiny.

Master Inqui.

For what?

Lord Title.

To make me fall in love with one I am asham'd to make her known.

Master Inqui.

Is she so mean, and yet so beautiful?

Lord Title.

O she hath all the Beauties and Graces that can attract a soul to love; for surely Nature sate in Councel to make her body, and the Gods sate in Councel to compose her mind.

Master Inqui.

May not I see her?

Lord Title.

Yes.

Master Inqui.

Where may I find her?

Lord Title.

Upon the next Plain, under a bush that bends much like a bower, there she most commonly sits to watch her sheep; but I will goe with you.

Master Inqui.

Your Lordship is not jealous?

Lord Title.

All Lovers think their Beloved is never secure enough.

Exeunt.
Scene 9.
Enter Nurse Careful, as in a fright, unto the Lady VVard.
Nurse Careful.

O my Child, I am told that on a sudden you turned mad!

Lady Ward.

Surely Nurse your fear, or what else it may be, you seem to me to be more mad than I can find in my self to be.

Nurse Caref.

That shews you are mad.

Lady Ward.

If I am mad, I suck'd the madness from your brest.

Page 219

Nurse Caref.

I do confess, Child, I have not had those mad vagaries since I gave suck, as I had before.

Lady Ward.

'Tis a signe you are grown old, Nurse.

Nurse Caref.

I confess, Youth is oftner mad than Age; but dear Child tell me, art thou mad?

Lady Ward.

Prethee Nurse, lest thou shouldst become mad, goe sleep to settle thy thoughts, and quiet thy mind, for I remember a witty Poet, one Doctor Don, saith,

Sleep is pains easie salve, and doth fulfil All Offices, unless i't to kill.
Nurse Careful cries out, as in a great fright.
Nurse Caref.

O Heaven, what shall I do, what shall I do!

Enter Doctor Practice.
Doctor Pract.

What is the matter Nurse, what is the matter you shreek out so?

Nurse Caref.

O Doctor, my Child is mad, my Child is mad; for she re∣peats Verses.

Doctor Pract.

That's an ill signe indeed.

Lady Ward.

Doctor, did you never repeat Latine Sentences when you have read Lectures, nor Latine Verses, when you did Dispute in Schools?

Doctor Pract.

Yes, Sweet Lady, a hundred times.

Lady Ward.

Lord, Doctor, have you been mad a hundred times, and re∣covered so often!

Nurse Caref.

Those were Latine Verses, those were Latine Verses Child.

Doctor Pract.

Faith Lady you pose me.

Lady Ward.

Then Doctor go to School again, or at least return again to the University and study again, and then practise not to be posed.

Doctor Pract.

Nurse, she is not well, she must be put to a diet.

Lady Ward.

But why, Doctor, should you think me mad? I have done no outragious action; and if all those that speak extravagantly should be put to a diet, as being thought mad, many a fat waste would shrink in the doub∣let, and many a Poetical vein would be dryed up, and the flame quench'd out for want of radical oyl to prolong it; Thus Wit would be starved, for want of vapour to feed it; The truth is, a spare diet may make room in a Scholars head for old dead Authors to lie in; for the emptyer their heads are of wit, the fuller they may be fill'd with learning; for I do imagine, old dead Au∣thors lie in a Scholars head, as they say souls do, none knows where, for a million of souls to lie in as small a compass as the point of a needle.

Doctor Pract.

Her brain is hotly distemper'd, and moves with an extraordi∣nary quick motion, as may be perceiv'd by her strange fancy: wherefore Nurse you had best get her to bed; if you can, and I will prescribe some me∣dicine and rules for her.

Exit Doctor.
Nurse Caref.

Come sweet child, let me put thee to bed.

Lady VVard.

I will go to bed, if you would have me, but good Nurse believe me, I am not mad; it's true, the force of my passion hath made my Reason to erre; and though my Reason hath gone astray, yet it is not lost: But consider well Nurse, and tell me what noble minde can suffer a base ser∣vitude without rebellious passions? But howsoever, since they are of this o∣pinion, I am content to cherish it, if you approve of it; for if I seem mad,

Page 220

the next of my kindred will beg the keeping of me for the sake of my E∣state; and I had rather lose my Estate, and be thought mad, than lose my honour in base offices, and my free-born liberty to be inslaved to whores; and though I do not fear my honest youth can be corrupted by ill example, yet I will not have my youth a witness to wicked and base vice.

Nurse Caref.

By no means, I do not approve of these strange wayes; be∣sides, you are a Ward to a gallant man, and may be Mariage will alter his humour; for most commonly those back-holders that are the greatest Li∣bertines, make the best Husbands.

Lady Ward.

'Tis true, he is of a noble nature, valiant and generous, pru∣dent, and just, and temperate in all delights, and free from all other vices but Incontinency, civil and obliging to all the world, but to me, and I could love him better than life, could he be constant, and only love me as he ought to do a Wife; otherwise, Death were more pleasing to me.

Exeunt.
Scene 10.
Enter the Lady Contemplation musing, and the Lady Visitant comes to her.
LAdy Contempl.

You were born to do me a mischief.

Lady Visit.

Why how?

Lady Contempl.

Why you have routed an Army.

Lady Visit.

Which way?

Lady Contempl.

I did imagine my self Married, my Husband being a Ge∣neral of an Army, who had fought many Battels, and had won many Vi∣ctories, conquer'd many Nations, at last an unfortunate day of Battel be∣ing fought, my Husband being too active and venturous, making lanes of slain bodies as he went, and his horse riding thorow Rivers of blood, those Ri∣vers rising so high, as his horse was forced to swim; but the blood growing thick to a jelly, obstructed his way, which made his horse furious, which fury added to his strength, forced a passage over a hill, or heap of slain bo∣dies; but the horses spirits being spent with fury and labour, fell strength∣less to the ground, with my Husband upon his back; and being in the midst of his Enemies Army, his Enemies seeing him fall, ran about him in great numbers, and so took him prisoner: whereupon his Souldiers soon missing him, thought he was kill'd; upon which belief, their courages grew cold, their limbs unactive, and their spirits so benumm'd, as they all seemed like to a number of stone-statues; which unactive dulness gave their Enemies the Day without any after-blows. I being in the Camp, hearing of my Husbands misfortunes, ran with a distracted fear towards the Enemies Camp; I being espy'd by some of my Husbands scatter'd Troops, was stop'd in the way, and so brought back to my Tent again; where, when I was there, some of my Husbands Officers of the Army told me, That though the Day was lost, yet there was a considerable Body left; which I no sooner heard, but my spirits took new life, and then excusing my fear, told those Comman∣ders it was not through fear that made me run out of my Tent; for I did

Page 212

not fly from my Enemies, but to them, and that I sought death, and not life; and to express my courage, I told them, That if they would give me leave, I would take my Husbands Office, and lead the Army: They told me, that if the rest of the Commanders would agree to it, they were well contented: So when all the Commanders met together, I spake thus un∣to them.

Noble Friends, and valiant Souldiers, you may think it a vain ambition for me to desire to lead your Army, especially against so potent an Enemy, and being a woman, which female Sex are usually unexperienced in Mar••••∣al Affairs, as also by nature fearful, which fears may ruine an Army, by gi∣ving wrong direction, causing a confusion through distraction; and truly an Army were not to be trusted unto a woman; management and ordering, if that Records had not given us Precedents, which is, that Woman have led Armies, have fought valiantly themselves, and have had good success, and not so much by fortunes favour, as by their own wise Conduct: And to shew that Pallas is a friend unto her own Sex, is, that in all History, there are very few women than can be found, that have lost Battels in the field of Wars, but many that have won Battels; and in all publick Affairs it is to be observed, the Gods do generally assist our Sex, whereby to shew their own power, and to abate the haughty pride of men. But to induce you more; for men trust not so much unto the Gods, as to their own strength, is, that you are present in all Councels and Actions, to assist and direct me; besides, I am Wife unto your General, who was and is an expert Souldier, and a valiant man, although he now had ill fortune; but ill fortune neither lessens valour nor experience, but rather increases them. This gallant and wise man, my Husband and your General, his Discourses have been my Tutors, and his Example hath and shall be my Guide; and if you dare trust me, I dare venture; otherwise I shall stay in my Tent, and pray for your good success. After I had left off speaking, an old Commander which had served long in the Wars, and was much esteemed, answered me as thus.

Noble Lady, although your youth doth disswade us, yet your beauty and wit doth encourage us; for what man, although he were possest with fear itself, can run away when a fair Lady sights? for beauty triumphs in all hearts, and commands the whole world: wherefore that man that shall or will deny to follow your Command, is of a bastard-kind, although a lawful Issue. With that all the rest of the Commanders cry'd or call'd out, that none was so fit to Lead and Command them as I. Thus being chosen, I call'd a general Muster of my Souldiers, and then gave order that some of the broken Regiments should be mended and made up with other broken Regiments, also I made new Officers in the room of those that were slain or taken prisoners, and after, I surveyed my Artillery and Ammunition; which done, I drew my Army into a Body, and after I had given Orders and Directions for the Souldiers to march towards the Enemies Camp, which when the Enemy heard of a new Army coming towards them, they drew out the Body of their Army in Battel Array: But I shunn'd to fight so soon as appeared, by reason my Army was tyred with marching; wherefore I gave order to Intrench: Besides, I thought it might give my souldiers more courage, when accustomed to the fight and neighbourhood of the Enemies: But withall, I made some of them give intelligence to the Ene∣my that a woman led the Army, by which they might despise us, and so be∣come

Page 222

more negligent, by which negligence we might have an advantage: In the mean time I sent to Treat of a Peace, and to have my Husband set at liberty; but the Enemy was so averse to a peace, as they returned me both jesting and scornful Answers: So when I saw no peace could be made, I drew out my Army into Battel Array; which when the Enemy perceiv'd, they did the like; but it will be too tedious at this time to tell the Form and Figures I put my Army into, as also what Commanders led, or who omman∣ded the Horse, or who commanded the Foot that day; only let me tell you, I led the Van my self, and was Accoutred after this manner: I had a Mas∣culine Suit, and over that a cloth of silver Coat, made close to my waste, which reached to the ankles of my legs; and those Arms I wore being all gilt, were Back, Brest, Gorget, Pot and Gantlet, all being made light accor∣ding as my strength would bear: In my hand I carried my Sword; for be∣ing not accustomed, I could not wear a sword by my side, as men do, but whensoever rested, I tyed it to my Saddle-bow, and on my Head-piece I wore a great Plume of Feathers: As for my Horse, he was cole-black, on∣ly a white star on his fore-head, and three white feet; my Saddle was crim∣son Velvet, but so imbroidred with silver and gold, as the ground could not be seen: But when I was mounted, I spoke as following unto the com∣mon souldiers.

Worthy Friends, and laborous, and valiant Souldiers, you may justly won∣der to see a Woman thus Accoutred like a man, and being one of the ten∣der female Sex to be arm'd as a souldier, and in a posture to fight a Bat∣tel: Also you may fear the successe of my Command, by reason I am young, and unexperienced, as also unpractised in the Wars: But fear not, the gods are with me, and will assist me, and have promised to give you victory by my Conduct; for they will conduct me: But the Gods suffer'd the other Battel to be lost, because many Victories had made you proud, and conceit∣ed of your selves, and your own valours, trusting more to your own strength, than to their favours or powers, whereupon the Gods destroy'd many of you; but since they have taken pity of you, drawn to it by your humility: whereupon the Gods have commanded me to Lead and Conduct you; and they have also commanded me to tell you, That if you trust in them, and fight couragiously, that you shall have Victory, and rich Spoils; for I heard the common people, of which common souldiers were of, were apt to be su∣perstitious, and to believe in any new reports, as also to believe in Miracles, Prophecies, and the like, and withall, very covetous; all which, made me feign my self to be commanded immediately from the Gods, and to be sent as from the Gods to command them, and to declare such promises to them; for all the common souldiers sight for Spoils, not for Honour.

Lady Visitant.

O but it is not good to dissemble.

Lady Contempl.

Pardon me; for without policy (which is deceit) there can be neither government in peace or war: wherefore it is a vertue in a States-man, or a Commander, to be a dissembler, although it be a vice in a∣ny other man; but you have put me out as you always do, and therefore I will tell you no more.

Lady Visitant.

Nay, pray make an end.

Lady Contempl.

I will not; but I could have told you how I kill'd the Ge∣neral of the Enemy with my own hand, and how I releas'd my Husband, and of such gallant Acts as you never heard the like of.

Lady Visitant.

O pray tel me.

Page 223

Lady Contempl.

Which if I do, let me never contemplate more, which would be worse than death to me, by reason it is the onely pleasure of my life.

Exeunt.

ACT III.

Scene. 11.
Enter Poor Vertue alone.
POor Vertue.

O Love, though thou art bred within the Soul, yet by the Senses thou art begotten, or else by some Opinions; for Virtue is but the Tutor, or Guide, for to instruct or lead thee in a perfect way bur though I lead Love right, yet may it meet Opposers.

Exit.
Scene 12.
Enter the Lord Courtship, and Doctor Practice.
LOrd Courts.

How do you find my Ward?

Doctor Pract.

Truly she is somewhat distemper'd; for her wit is ve∣ry quick.

Lord Courts.

That's it; for she being naturally of a dull disposition, and of a milde humour, and her brain slow of conceits, as also unpractis'd in speaking, should of a sudden fall into high raptures.

Doctor Pract.

You say true, my Lord; and it is to be fear'd this distem∣per will increase.

Lord Courts.

Pray Doctor have a regard and care to her distemper; for I would not willingly have a Wife that is more mad than natural wo∣men are.

Exeunt.
Scene 13.
Enter Lord Title, and Master Inquirer.
LOrd Title.

She is not here.

Enter Poor Virtue, with a sheephook in her hand.
Lord Title.

O yonder she comes.

Master Inqui.

She hath a garb not like a Farmers Maid, but rather one

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that's nobly born, and her garments, though mean, sit nearly on her body.

Master Adviser goeth to her.

Fair Shepherdess, it is a melancholy life you lead.

Poor Virtue.

It is a course of life suits best to my condition.

Master Inqui.

You may change this condition if you please.

Poor Virtue.

I had rather lie honoured in death, than by dishonour raised to glorious state of life.

Master Inqui.

But here you live like a creature not produced by mankind, amongst beasts, having no conversation by discourse.

Poor Vir.

Want of Speech makes not beasts beasts, but want of Reason, & want of Reason makes a man a beast; and speech rather disturbs than bene∣fits the life, when silence and pure thoughts make men like Angels, whereas speech sometimes expresses men like Devils, blaspheming Heaven and God, fomenting factions amongst their kind, betraying trust & friendship, cozening innocency, slattering vice, reproaching virtue, and with distractions strives to pull down honour from its feat; where silence refines the thoughts, ele∣vates the fancy, quickens wit, strengthens judgment, allays anger, sweetens melancholy, and collects the Reason.

Master Inqui.

Thou art a wonder, and for this one Speech I doe adores thee.

Poor Virtue.

I should be sorry so worthy a person, and so noble a Gentleman as you seem to be, should adore my Speech, when it might be chance that did produce it, and not wit or judgment.

Master Inqui.

Thy speech is like to Orpheus Harp, it charms all ears that hear it.

Poor Virtue.

I wish my Speech were like a Loadstone, to draw the iron hearts of men to pity and compassion, to charity and devotion.

Poor Virtue offers to be gone.
Lord Title.

Pray stay and choose me for your Love, and let me go along with you.

Poor Virtue.

An Amorous Lovers, as I believe your Lordship is, never walks in sober pace, nor hath a constant and assur'd minde; for Amorous Lovers run with might and main, as if desires were catch'd with haste.

Poor Virtue goes out, Lord Title follows her.
Master Inquirer alone.
Master Inqui.

I perceive Farmers breed pretty Maids, and honest, as well as Lambs and Doves, and witty and well-behav'd Maids, as well as Courts and Cities do. O that I were unmatied, that I might wed this Sweet, Fair Country-maid!

Enter Mall Mean-bred, with a pail in her hand.
Master Inqui.

But stay, here comes another by my troth, a very pretty Lass, but yet her garments sit not so neat, nor becoming, nor is her behavi∣our so graceful as the other Maids was. Sweet Mistris!

Mall Mean-bred.

Pray keep your jeers to your self, I am no Mistris.

Master Inqui.

You may be my Mistris, if you please, and I will be your servant.

Mall Mean-bred.

What to do?

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Master Inqui.

What you please.

Mall Mean-bred.

I am seldome pleased, and an idle fellow will anger me more.

Master Inqui.

I will be very industrious, if you please to set me to work.

Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother, she falls a beating her.
Maudlin.

You idle slut, do you stand loytering here, when it is more than time the Cows were milk'd?

[Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail.]
Mall Mean-bred.

Go milk them your self with a murrain, since you are so light-finger'd.

Maudlin.

I will milk your sides first.

The Mother goeth to beat her again, Mall Mean-bred her daughter runs away from her mother, she follows her, running to catch her.
Master Inqui.

I marry Sir, this is right as a Farmers daughter should be; but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard, begot by some Gentleman.

Exeunt.
Scene 14.
Enter Sir John Argument, and the Lady Conversation.
LAdy Conversa.

Let me tell you, Sir Iohn Argument, Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved; and the truth is, none but one soul can love another.

Argum.

But Justice, Madam, must be the rule of Love; wherefore those souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn.

Conversat.

O no; pure souls may converse without gross bodies.

Argument.

Were it not for the Senses, Madam, souls could have no ac∣quaintance, and without an acquaintance, there can be no reciprocal affecti∣on; and will you make the Senses, which are the souls chief confidence, to be strangers or enemies?

Conversat.

I would have them converse, but not interrupt.

Argum.

The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with each other, or otherwise they may dissemble, or betray the souls; or abuse the trust, loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours; and what can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies?

Conversat.

The Senses and Appetites of the Body, are but as subject to the Soul.

Argument.

But 'tis impossible for Forein Princes, as I will compare two loving souls unto, can live in peace and mutual amity, if their subjects disagree.

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Enter Mistris Troublesome.
Conversat.

O Mistris Troublesome, you are welcome; for you shall end the dispute between Sir Iohn Argument and I.

Troublesome.

If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves, I shall never do it. But what is the Dispute Madam?

Conversat.

Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies?

Troublesome.

Faith, Madam, I think it would be a very faint friendship betwixt the Souls, without the Bodies.

Conversat.

I perceive Sir Iohn Argument and you would never make Pla∣tonick Lovers.

Troublesome.

Faith, Madam, I think Platonick is a word without sense.

Argument.

You say right, Mistris Troublesome, it is an insensible love.

Conversat.

It is the Soul of Love.

Troublesome.

What's that, Madam, a Ghost, or Spirit?

Conversat.

Indeed it hath no material body.

Argument.

No, for it is an incorporal thing.

Troublesome.

What is an incorporal thing, Sir Iohn?

Argument.

Why, nothing.

Troublesome.

Pray leave this discourse, or else you will talk nonsense.

Argument.

That's usual in Conversation.

Conversat.

Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request, Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth?

Troublesome.

Faith Madam, by the course of her life one might think she were an incorporal thing.

Conversat.

Why?

Troublesome.

Because she makes but little use of her Body, living always within her Minde.

Conversat.

Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of her thoughts.

Troublesome.

Just so, by my Troth.

Conversat.

Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation.

Troublesome.

If it be possible, I will; but the Lady Visitant can do it bet∣ter than I.

Conversat.

I am resolv'd I will visit her.

Exeunt.
Scene 15.
Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.
LOrd Courtship.

What, is your passion over?

Lady Ward.

My passion will strive to maintain my honour, and you may take my life; but as long as I live, my passion will fight in the quarrel. But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife? and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak, helplesse, and shiftlesse? and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meanest of our Sex? It is more noble to flatter us, than to quarrel with us;

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but that I have heard you are valiant, I should think you were a base cow∣ard, and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house, rather than fight in a Battel: But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Ho∣nour, and Life more than Fame; and I hate to be in that mans company, or to make a Husband, whose courage lies in Volupmousness, and his life in Infamy: I will sooner marry Death, than such a man.

The Lady Ward goes out.
Lord Courtship alone.
Lord Courts.

Her words have shot through my soul, and have made a sen∣sible wound therein. How wisely she did speak! how beautiful appear'd! Her minde is full of honour, and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles; so young, so wise, so fair, so chaste, and I to use her so basely as I have done! O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily!

Exit.
Scene 16.
Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.
EFfemin. Lovely.

The more ground is troden on, the easier the path to walk in.

Poor Virtue.

It seems so, that you visit me so often.

Effem. Lovely.

Why, thou art such sweet company, and behav'st thy self so prettily, as I cannot choose but visit thee.

Poor Virtue.

I would, if I could, behave my self so to the world, as my indiscretion might not defame me.

Effem. Lovely.

Why do you think of a Fame?

Poor Virtue.

VVhy not? since fame many times arises from poor Cottages, as well as from great Palaces; witness the Country labouring-man, that was taken from the plough, and made an Emperour, as being thought sittest to rule, both for Justice and VVisedome, and he was more famous than those that were born of an Heroick Line, and were of Royal dignity; and David a shepherd, became a King. 'Tis Merit that deserves a fame, not Birth; and sometimes Merit hath its desert, though but seldome.

Effem. Lovely.

Thy discourse would tempt any man.

Poor Virtue.

Mistake not my discourse, it hath no such devilish design; for to tempt, is to pervert: 'Tis true, my Nature takes delight to delight and please others, and not to crosse or displease any, yet not to tempt, or to de∣lude with counterfeit demeanors, or fair insinuating words, smooth speech, or oiled tongue, to draw from Virtues side, but to perswade and plead in Virtues cause.

Effem. Lovely.

Thy very looks would gain a cause, before thy tongue could plead.

Poor Virtue.

Alas! mans countenance is like the Sea, which ebbs and flows as passion moves the minde.

Effem. Lovely.

I am sure Love moves my minde, and makes it in a fiery heat.

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Poor Virtue.

If it be noble Love, it is like the Sun, which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world, that else would sit in darknesse, and be both cold and steril; so doth a noble minde run with industry to help those in distresse, his bounty heats, his counsel and advice gives light.

Effem. Lovely.

I love you so much, Sweet-heart, that since you will not be my Mistris, you shall be my VVife.

Poor Virtue.

Indeed I will not.

Effem. Lovely.

VVill you refuse me?

Poor Virtue.

Yes.

Effem. Lovely.

VVherefore?

Poor Virtue.

Because I know, though you may use me well at first, after a time you'l be divorc'd.

Effem. Lovely.

I will never part from thee.

Poor Virtue.

O yes but you will, for youth and beauty most commonly are inconstant; for vain ambition, and flattering praises, corrupt that mind that lives therein, and is pleased therewith.

Poor Vertue goes out.
Effeminate Lovely alone.
Effem. Lovely.

Well, I will become a new man, and cast off all vanity, and study Moral Philosophy, to gain this Maid; for then perchance she will love me.

Exit.
Scene 17.
Enter Lady Conversation, and Sir Vain Complement.
LAdy Conversat.

Complements are the worst sort of Conversation, for they are not sociable; besides, Truth holds no intelligence nor corre∣spondence with them.

Sir Vain Compl.

Truth is no Complement as flattery, and I speak nothing but what truth hath dictated to my tongue.

Lady Conversat.

Those praises you gave me were writ by speech, in so fine a style of Eloquence, with such flourishing Letters of words, as I cannot believe but that custome of self-conceited wit or passion, hath given the Scribe, which is the Tongue, a bribe to slatter me.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Mistris Troublesome, to the Lady Conver∣sation, and Sir Vain Complement.
Lady Conversat.

This is a wonder to see you, Lady Contemplation, abroad, I doubt it doth Prognosticate some change of Fortune, pray Iove it be good.

Lady Contempl.

All the ill will fall on me, Madam.

Mistris Troubles.

Nay, faith Madam, she accounts company a worse for∣tune than the ruine of a Kingdome, and you cannot conceive with what dif∣ficulty I have got her abroad; for at first I did perswade her with all the

Page 229

Rhetorick I had, and pleaded with as powerful arguments as I could finde, any promised more than I was able to perform, and nothing of this could get her forth, until I told her I would bring your Ladyship to visit her, and that forced her out; for she said, she would rather trouble you, than you should trouble her.

Lady Conversat.

Faith, Contemplation, thou art only sit to keep beasts com∣pany; for what difference is there betwixt beasts and men, but Conver∣sation.

Lady Contempl.

Indeed beasts want that folly of idle Conversation, and the error of speaking, as much as the vanity of dressing, and the custome of dissembling; for they spend their time more prudently, quietly, easily, ho∣nestly, so more happily; and if it were for no other reason than speaking, I had rather be a beast, than of mankinde.

Lady Conversat.

O fie, O fie, you are a beastly Lady.

Lady Contempl.

No, Madam, beasts have no false Titles of Honour, their honour lives in their natures, not in their names.

Lady Conversat.

Who that may choose, or have their liberty, would spend their time in idle thoughts?

Lady Contempl.

All that are wise, and would be happy; for should not we think that man were mad, that leaves a peaceful habitation, and thrusts him∣self in forein broyls? or should not we think a King were most unjust, that makes his peaceful and obedient subjects slaves to strange Princes? The Mind's a Common-wealth, and the Thoughts are the Citizens therein, and Reason rules as King, or ought to doe: But there is no reason we should vex our Thoughts with outward things, or make them slaves unto the world.

Lady Conversat.

But thoughts would want imployment, were it not for the world, and idlenesse were worse than slavish toyls.

Lady Contempl.

The thoughts, without the worlds materials, can Create millions of worlds, only with the help of Imagination.

Lady Conversat.

Then your Minde and the World are meer strangers.

Lady Contempl.

I say not so; for though the World draws not my Minde to wander up and down, yet my Minde draws the World to it, then pensils out each several part and piece, and hangs that Landskip in my Brain, on which my thoughts do view with Judgments eyes. Thus the world is in my Minde; although my Minde is not in the world.

Lady Conversat.

Then you inchant the world?

Lady Contempl.

I had rather inchant the world, than the world should in∣chant me.

Lady Conversat.

If the Minde be a Common-wealth, as you said even now it was, Pray tell me of what degree the Passions are of?

Lady Contempl.

They are the Nobles thereof, and Magistrates therein; each several Passion still governs in its turn and office.

Lady Conversat.

And what are the Appetites?

Lady Contempl.

The Appetites are none of the Mind's Citizens, but they are an unruly Rout that dwell in the Senses, which are the Suburbs of the Body: Indeed the Appetites are the Out-Lawries, and doe oft-times much hurt with their disorders, insomuch as they, many times, disturb the mindes tranquillity, and peace. But, Madam, lest the appetite of talking should di∣sturb the Mind, I shall kiss your Ladyships hand, and leave you to those that are more delightful and pleasanter company than I am.

Exit.

Page 230

Mistris Trouble.

Lady Conversation, I perceive you and Sir Vain Complement are grown dull with the Lady Contemplations company.

Lady Conversat.

Mercury defend me from her; for I would not keep her company for Ioves Mansion.

Vain Compl.

And Cupid defend me from her; for I would not be bound to Court her for the Favours Venus gives to Mars.

Conversat.

Lord what a dull piece of gravity she is!

Vain Compl.

She looks as if she convers'd with none but Ghosts and Spirits, walking in Moon-shine, and solitary and dismal places.

Conversat.

Let us talk of her no more; for I am so far from keeping her acquaintance, as I hate to hear her nam'd.

Exeunt.
Scene 18.
Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.
LOrd Courtship.

My Sweet, Fair Maid, I cannot hope thy Pardon, for my crimes are not only great, but many; for I have not only us'd you un∣kindly, uncivilly, ungentlemanly, which are vices and crimes that Canker∣fret the Fame of Honour, and burie all noble qualities; but I have used you barbarously, cruelly, and inhumanly, which are sins sufficient to annihi∣late all the Masculine Race; and surely, if there be that we call Justice in Nature, it will, unless thy virtue redeem them, and save them with thy pity: wherefore, for the sake of the generality, though not for my particular, par∣don me. Thus will you become a Deity to your whole Sex and ours.

Lady Ward.

I am sure your Lordship is a particular punishment to me, which Heaven send me quit of.

She goes out, he follows her.

ACT IV.

Scene. 19.
Enter Sir Fancie Poet, and the Lady Contemplation.
SIr Fan. Poet.

Lady, you smother your thoughts, and stifle your conce∣ption in the close Closet of Study.

Lady Contempl.

No Sir, I only keep them warm, being tender and weak.

Sir Fan. Poet.

They will grow stronger in the Air of Conversation; but when continually kept close in the Chamber of Contemplation, they will be apt to fall into many several diseases, as melancholy Opinions, and extrava∣gant Fancies, which may over-heat the minde, and sire the thoughts: where∣fore Lady let me give you Counsel.

Lady Contempl.

What Counsel would you give me? as a Lawyer, or Phy∣cian?

Page 231

Sir Fan. Poet.

As a Physician.

Lady Contempl.

For the Body, or the Minde?

Sir Fan. Poet.

For the Minde.

Lady Contempl.

The Physicians for the Minde are Divine:

Sir Fan. Poet.

No, the best physicians for the Minde are Poets.

Lady Contempl.

How will you prove that?

Sir Fan. Poet.

By Example and Skill; for when the Minde is raging mad; Poets, with gentle perswasions, in smooth numbers, and soft musick, cure it; and when the Mind is despairing, Poets draw hopes into numbers, which beats out the doubtful Foe: And for Example.

David with his Poetical Inspirations, and Harpsical harmonious Musick, allay'd the ill Spirit, and raging passion of Saul; for Poets take from the sweet Spring of Nature, an Oil of Love, and from Heaven, the Balsom of Mercy, and pour them through golden numbers, and pipes of wit, into the fester'd wounds of despair, when oft-times Divines, in stead of suppling Oil, pour in corroding Vitriol, and in stead of healing Balsoms, pour in burning Sulphure, which are terrifying threats, and fearful menaces: where∣fore Lady, let me advise you as a Poetical Physician, to keep your minde cool, and your thoughts in equal temper; wherefore in order thereto, when the minde is wrapt in the mantle of Imagination, if it finds it self very hot therewith, let it lay that mantle by, and bathe it self in the fresh, clear, pure Rivers of Discourse.

Lady Contempl.

By your favour, Sir, for the most part, the Mind becomes hotter with the motion of the tongue, than the mantle of Imagination; for when the tongue hath liberty, it runs wildly about, and draggs the minde af∣ter it; and rather than I will have my minded dragg'd and hurried about by my unruly tongue, which will neither endure the bit of Reason, nor the bri∣dle of Discretion, but runs beyond all sense, I will tye up my tongue with the cords of silence, in the stable of the mouth, and pull down the Port-cullis of the teeth before it, and shut the doors of my lips upon it. Thus shall it be treble lock'd, and kept with the Key of Judgment, and the Authority of Prudence.

Exeunt.
Scene 20.
Enter the Lady Conversation, and a Grave Matron.
LAdy Conversat.

Did you hear him say he had layn with me?

Matron.

Yes, Madam.

Lady Conversat.

O the wicked, base vain-glory of men, to bely the pure chastity of a woman! But surely he did not plainly express so much in clear words, as by nods, winks, shrugs, dark sentences, or broken discourses?

Matron.

He said plainly, he had layn with you in an unlawful manner.

Lady Conversat.

Fates assist me in revenge; for it is no dishonour to be re∣veng'd of a base person, that hath maliciously slander'd me, or vain-glori∣ously injur'd me.

Matron.

Revenge is against the Laws of Honour, Madam.

Lady Conversat.

It may be against the Tenets of some particular Reli∣gion,

Page 232

or religious Opinions. But a noble revenge is the ground or foundati∣on of Heroick Honour.

Matron.

But what do you call a Noble Revenge?

Lady Conversat.

First, to be an open Enemy, as to declare the enmity; next, to declare their endeavour to prosecute to the utmost of their power, either their Enemies Estate, Liberty, and Life; whereas a base Revenger is to dissemble, in professing they have forgotten and forgiven their injury, and pardon'd their Enemy, yet under-hand and disguisedly endeavour to do their Enemy a mischief. Not but an honourable Revenger may choose their time for executing their revenge; but they must declare they will be revenged be∣fore they execute their revenge, and let their Enemies stand upon their Guard.

Matron.

But a revengeful woman is not good.

Lady Conversat.

Why not, as well as a revengeful man? For why may not a woman revenge her scandaliz'd honour as well as a man? Is there any reason why it should be a dishonour for a man to pass by a disgrace, and for a woman to revenge her disgrace? Is it not as great a blemish to the honour of a woman, to be said to be unchaste, as for a man to be said to be a Cow∣ard? And shall a woman only sit and weep over her lost honour, whilest a man fights to regain his? And shall it be thought no dishonour for a man to pistol, or at least bastonade another man for an injury, or an affront re∣ceiv'd, and a fault for a woman to do, or cause to be done the like? Must women only sit down with foolish patience, and endure wrong, when men may execute revenge with fury? These were both injustice, and an unjust act of Education to our Sex; as also it would be an unjust sentence, not on∣ly from men, but from the Gods, since neither Gods nor men will suffer in∣jury, wrong, or dishonour, without revenge: But if Gods, Men, and Edu∣cation should be so unjust to our Sex, yet there is no Reason in Nature we should be so unjust to our selves: But for my part, as I am constant to an honest friend, and can easily forgive an honourable Enemy, so I can never forgive a malicious Foe, nor forget a vain-glorious bragging fool, or false slandring knave, but will persecute them to the utmost of my power, and the weight of my revenge should be according to the pressure of my injury, or dishonour.

Matron.

But let me tell you, Madam, those that brag are seldome be∣liev'd, and there is none that believe these vain bragging Ranters; for it's well known, that all Ranters are idle deboyst persons, and do usually belye the most Honourable and Chaste Ladies, for which all worthy persons hate them, and account them so base, as they will shun their companies; no man of honour will come near them, unless it be to beat them. But if you appear to the world as concerned, you may raise those doubts which would never have been raised, had you took no notice thereof.

Lady Conversat.

Indeed Disputes raise doubts; wherefore I will not bring it into a Dispute, but take your Counsel, and take no notice of it.

Matron.

You will do vvisely, Lady.

Exeunt.

Page 233

Scene 21.
Enter Sir Golden Riches to Poor Virtue.
SIr Gold. Rich.

I vvish my tongue as smooth as oil, to make my vvords as soft as Air, that they may spread about your heart, there intermixd with your affection.

Poor Virtue.

Words cannot win my love, no more than wealth, nor is my heart subject to those infections.

Sir Gold. Rich.

I will build thee Palaces of burnish'd gold, where thou shalt be worshipd whilest thou livest, and when thou diest, I will erect a Mo∣nument more famous than Mausolus's was.

Poor Verrtue.

My Virtue shall build me a Monument far richer, and more lasting; for the materials with which it shall be built, shall be try'd Chasti∣ty, as pure Gold, and Innocency, as Marble white, and Constancy, as undis∣solving Diamonds, and Modesty, as Rubies red, Love shall the Altar be, and Piety, as Incense sweet, ascend to Heaven, Truth, as the Oil, shall feed the Lamp of Memory, whereby the flame of Fame shall never goe out.

Exit.
Sir Golden Riches alone.
Sir Gold. Rich.

And is She gone? are Riches of no force? Then I wil bu∣ry my self within the bowels of the Earth, so deep, that men shall never reach me, nor Light shall find me out.

Exit.
Scene 22.
Enter Mistris Messenger, and the Lady Amorous's woman, and Lord Courtship.
MIstris Messenger.

My Lord, my Lady, the Lady Amourous, remembers her Service to you, and sent me to tell you her Husband is gone out of Town, and She desires to have the happiness of your company.

Lord Courtship.

Pray present my Service in the humblest manner to your Lady, and pray her to excuse me; for though I cannot say I am sick, yet I am far from being well.

Mistris Messen.

I shall, my Lord.

Exeunt.

Page 234

Scene 23.
Enter the Lord Title, and then enters a Servant to him.
SErvant.

My Lord, there is an old man without desires to speak with you.

Lord Title.

Direct him hither.

Servant goes out.
Enter Old Humanity.
Lord Title.

Old man, what have you to say to me?

Old Humanity.

I am come to desire your Lordship not to persecute a poor young Maid, one that is friendless, and your Lordship is powerful, and therefore dangerous.

Lord Title.

What poor Maid do you mean?

Old Human.

A Maid call'd Poor Virtue.

Lord Title.

Do you know her?

Old Human.

Yes.

Lord Title.

Are you her Father?

Old Human.

No, I am her servant, and have been maintain'd by her Noble Family these threescore years, and upwards.

Lord Title.

Ha, her Noble Family! what, or who is She?

Old Humanity.

She is a Lady, born from a Noble Stock, and hath been choisely bred, but ruin'd by misfortunes, which makes her poorly serve.

Lord Title.

Alas he weeps! Who were her Parents?

Old Human.

The Lord Morality, and the Lady Piety.

Lord Title.

Sure it cannot be: But why should I doubt? her Beauty, Wit, and sweet Demeanour, declares her Noble Pedigree: The Lord Morality was a Famous man, and was a great Commander, and wise in making Lawes, and prudent for the Common Good: He was a Staff and Prop un∣to the Common-wealth, til Civil Wars did throw it down, where he fell under it. But honest friend, how shall I know this for a truth?

Old Human.

Did not your Lordship hear he had a Child?

Lord Title.

Yes that I did, an only Daughter.

Old Human.

This is She I mention, and if Times mend, will have her Fa∣thers Estate, as being her Fathers Heir; but to prove it, and her Birth, I will bring all those servants that liv'd with her, and with her Father, and all his Tenants, that will witness the truth.

Lord Title.

When I consider, and bring her and her Actions to my minde, I cannot doubt the truth, and for the news, thou shalt be my Adopted Father, and my Bosome-friend; I'll be a staff for thy Old Age to lean upon, my shoulders shall give strength unto thy feeble limbs, and on my neck shalt lay thy restless head,

Old Human.

Heaven bless you, and I shall serve you as my Old Age will give me leave.

Exit Lord Title, leading him forth.

Page 235

Scene 24.
Enter Lord Courtship, and the Lady VVard.
LOrd Courts.

Thou Celestial Creature, do not believe that I am so pre∣sumptuous to ask thy love, I only beg thy pardon, that when my body lies in the silent grave, you give my restless soul a pass, and leave to walk a∣mongst sad Lovers in dark and gloomy shades; and though I cannot weep to shew my penitence, yet I can bleed.

He offers her a Dagger.

Here, take this Instrument of Death, for only by your hands I wish to die.

Give me as many Wounds as Pores in skin, That I may bleed sufficient for my sin.
Lady VVard.

It seems strange to me, that you, a wise man, or at least ac∣counted so, should fall into such extreams, as one while to hate me to death, and now to profess to love me beyond life!

Lord Courts.

My Debaucheries blinded my Judgment, nor did I know thy worth, or my own errour, until thy wise wit gave the light to my dark understanding, and you have drawn my bad life, and all my unworthy acti∣ons therein, so naturally in your discourse, as now I view them, I do hate my self as much as you have cause to hate me.

Lady VVard.

I only hate your Crimes, but for those excellent Qualities, and true Virtues that dwell in your Soul, I love and honour; and if you think me worthy to make me your Wife, and will love me according as my honest life will deserve your affections, I shall be proud of the Honour, and thank Fortune or Heaven for the Gift.

Lord Courts.

Sure you cannot love me, and the World would condemn you if you should, and all your Sex will hate you.

Lady VVard.

The World many times condemns even Justice her self, and women, for the most part, hate that they should love and honour.

Lord Courts.

But can you love me?

Lady VVard.

I can, and do love you.

Lord Courts.

How happy am I, to enjoy a world of Beauty, Wit, Virtue, and sweet Graces.

Leads her forth.
Exeunt.

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Scen. 25.
Enter the Lord Title, and Roger Farmer, and Maudlin Huswife his Wife.
LOrd Title.

Honest Roger and Maudlin,* 1.1 I present you with a kind Good-morrow.

Roger.

Present me? Bless your Lordship, I should present you with a couple of Capons.

Lord Title.

'Tis a salutation when you salute; but how do you then?

Roger.

Very well, I thank your Honour: How do you?

Lord Title.

Well, enough of Complements, I am come with a Petition to you.

Roger.

What is that, is't please your Honour?

Lord Title.

A Sute.

Roger.

Byrlaken I have need of one, for I have but poor and bare cloath∣ing on.

Lord Title.

No, Roger, it is a request and desire I have you should grant.

Roger.

Grant, or to Farm let, no Sir, I will not part with my Lease.

Lord Title.

Roger, you understand me not, therefore let me speak with Maudlin your Wife.

Roger.

There she is Sir, spare her not, for she is good metal I'll warrant your Honour; wipe your lips Maudlin, and answer him every time that he moves thee, and give him as good as he brings: Maudlin, were he twenty Lords, hold up your head, Maudlin, be not hollow.

Maudlin.

I'll warrant you Husband, I'll satisfie him.

Lord Title.

Honest Maudlin.

Maudlin.

That's more than your Lordship knows.

Lord Title.

Why then Maudlin.

Maudlin.

That's my name indeed.

Lord Title.

You have a maid here in your house.

Maudlin.

I hope so forsooth; but I will not answer for no Virgin in this wicked world.

Roger.

Well said Maudlin; Nay your Honour will get nothing of my Maudlin, I'll warrant you.

Lord Title.

Well, this supposed Maid is Poor Virtue, that's her name, I de∣sire you will let her live with me, this Poor Virtue.

Maudlin.

God bless you Honour from her, it is not fit for a Lord, and a great Noble-man to meddle with Virtue, your Honour should not foul your fingers with her: Besides, she will never stay in a great mans house, neither is it fit she should; and your Honours servants will hate her like the Devil, for she will please no body as she should do, a very peevish, ill-natur'd girle forsooth she is.

Lord Title.

Why how doth she agree then with you?

Maudlin.

Alas forsooth, if it please your Honour, Virtue may live in a Cottage, when she will be whipt out of a Court, or a great Lords Palace; they may talk of her, but they will never give her leave to live and board with them: It may be they give their Chaplain leave to talk of her a Sun∣days, or so forsooth, but talk's but talk, for they forget her the six days after,

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and never mind her; for indeed she is a very peevish girle, and not fit for Gentlefolks company, that's the truth of it, hardly for poor folks.

Lord Title.

VVhy you agree well with her?

Maudlin.

Nay by the faith of my body do I not; for I can hardly goe to Market, and be merry, as I use to be, and all long of her peevishnesse: nay I cannot goe to order one of our busie Thrashers, but she troubles me; or to speak with the Carter, but she whip, in presently, or discourse with the Plough-man about his plough-share, how he should order it for my advan∣tage, but she troubles me; or about our Husbandman, how and where he should sow his Seed, but she vexes me still: Such a life, the Gods help me, as I am e'en weary of my self. Speak Roger, is it not true?

Roger.

True Maudlin as steel, I never was merry since she vvas in my house, the May-pole is dovvn since she came.

Maudlin.

I Roger that 'tis, the more the pity.

Roger.

And the Towns Green is a Meadow, and the poor Big-pipers cheeks are fallen into a Consumption, hardly wind to speak vvithall; the Morris-dan∣cers bells are silenc'd, and their crosse garters held superstitious, idolatrous, and profane; the May-Lord and his Lady depos'd, and the Hobby-horse is forgotten; nay the Whitson-Lord and Lady are banish'd, Merry Wakes abo∣lish'd, and the poor Ale-wives beggar'd,

Maudlin.

I, I, and all since this melancholy girle Virtue came into our house.

She cries.

I cannot choose but cry.

Lord Title.

Thou art true Maudlin then.

Maudlin.

Yes, with small beer, that's the calamity of it; therefore blesse every good subject from so melancholy a thing as this girle Virtue is: But we have a Daughter, and it please your Honours worship, that will give you good content, and please most of your Houshold; for she is a lusty Wench, though I say't that should not say't: Did you but see her swim like a Tench on our Town-green, incircling the May-pole, and at the end of a Horn-pipe, when she is to be kiss'd, how modestly the wryes her head away, but so as to be civil; nay she hath been well Educated, my own natural Daughter, for in∣deed Roger, I was with Child with her before you maried me.

Roger.

Peace Maudlin, all Truths are not to be spoken of; for should that be, many a Worshipful Person would be very angry; but our Vicar made all well betwixt thee and me, Maudlin: But I beseech your Honour take my Daughter, for you will find her another manner of woman than Virtue is, for she is not like her ifaith, nor any thing that belongs to her, she is better blest than so.

Lord Title.

No, I will have Poor Virtue, or none.

Roger.

Faith if you have Virtue, you are sure to have her poor, for I never knew any of her Family rich, the Gods do not blesse them, I think, in this world; but if you will have her, take her, shall he not, Maudlin?

Maudlin.

Yes, Husband, and the house is well rid of her, and let us bless our selves for it; for now we shall be like our Neighbours again, we will not abate them an hair, the best in the Parish shall not live merryer than we will now for all Sports: Why, Vanity and Sin, Husband, is the Liberty of the Subject, and the seven Deadly Sins are the Fundamental Laws of the Kingdome, from the greatest to the least, if poor folks might have their right. Well, your Honour shall have her, but you will be as weary of her as we have been, the Gods bless your Honour, but alas you do not know what this

Page 238

Girle Virtue is, Lords have no guess at her.

Lord Title.

Well Maudlin, let me have her, I desire no more.

Maudlin.

Nor we neither, if it pleases your Honour, and so the Gods give you good of her.

Roger.

Let me speak to his Honour, Maudlin.

Lord Title.

Do so Roger.

Roger.

I give yourdship many thanks.

Lord Title.

For what?

Roger.

For ridding our house of this troublesome Girl.

Lord Title,

And I thank you for it too.

Roger.

VVhen thanks on all sides happen, we are eas'd.

Lord Title.

And I with your Poor Virtue am well pleas'd.

The Lord goes out.
As they were going forth, Maudlin speaks.
Maudlin.

Mark the end of it, Roger.

Roger.

Yes Maudlin, the End Crowns the Work.

Exeunt.
Here ends my Lord Marquiss's Scene.

ACT IV.

Scene. 26.
Enter the Lady Visitant to the Lady Contemplation, who was musing to her self.
LAdy Visit.

What always musing? Shall I never find thee in a sociable humour?

Lady Contempl.

I would you had come sooner, or stayd longer away.

Lady Visit.

Why prethee?

Lady Contempl.

I will tell you: A while since, there came the Muses to visit me, being all either mad, or drunk, for they toss'd and tumbl'd me, and rumbl'd me about, from one to the other, as I thought they would a divi∣ded me amongst them: At last came in the Sciences to visit me, with sober Faces, grave Countenances, stayd and formal Behaviours, and after they had Saluted me, they began to talk very seriously to me, their Discourse being Rational, Probable, Wise, Learned, and Experienc'd; but all the while the Muses would not let me alone, one pull'd me to Dance, another to Sing, another to play on Musick, others to recite Verses, speak Speeches, and Act parts of Plays, and the like Whereupon I gravely turned the in∣corporal head of my rational Soul, nodding it to them to be quiet, and let me alone, but still they playd with me: At last my Thoughts, which are the language of the Soul, spoke to them, and pray'd them to forbear, until such time as the Sciences were gone; but they would not be quiet, nor silent, doe

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what I could, but would interrupt the Sciences in the midst of their Dis∣course, with their idle Rimes, light Fancies, and odd Numbers, insomuch as the Sciences departed: Whereupon the Muses did rejoyce, and skip, and run about, as if they had been wilde: And in this jocund humour, in came the Arts, even a whole Common-wealth; for there were not only Politick Arts, Civil and Combining Arts, Profitable and necessary Arts, Military Arts, and Ceremonious Arts; but there were Superstitious Arts, Idola∣trous Arts, false, factious, and mischievous Arts, destructive and wicked Arts, base and mean Art, foolish, childish, vain, superfluous and unprofita∣ble Arts: Upon all these Arts the Muses made good sport; for at some they flung jests, scorns, and scoffs, and some they stripp'd naked, but to others they were cruel, for some they stayd their skins off, and others they made very Skeletons of, dissecting them to the very bones; and the truth is, they spa∣red not the best of them, but they had one saying or other to them: But when all the Arts departed, they took me, and carry'd to the Well of Heli∣con, and there they threw me in over head and cares, and said they would Souse me in the Liquor of Poetry; but when I was in the Well, I thought verily I should have been drown'd, for all my outward Senses were smo∣ther'd and choak'd, for the water did blind my eyes, stop'd my ears and no∣strils, and fill'd my mouth so full, as I had not so much space as to spout it sorth; besides all my body was so numb, as I had no feeling, insomuch, as when they took me out of this Well of Helicon, into which they had flung me, I seem'd as dead, being quite senseless: Whereupon they all agreed to take and carry me up on Parnassas Hill, and to lay me on the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 thereof, that the Poetical Flame, or Heat therein, might dry and warm me; after which agreement they took me up, every one beaing a part o m, or was industrious about me, for some carried my Head, others my Legs, some held my Hands, others imbraced my Waste, another oiled my Tongue, and o∣thers powr'd Spirits into my Mouth, but the worst-natur'd Muse pinch'd me, to try if I was sensible, or not, and the sweetest and tenderest natur'd Muse wept over me, and another was so kind as to kiss me; but when they had brought me up to the top of the Hill, and laid me thereupon, I felt such a heat, as if they had laid me on AEtna; but after I had layn some time, I felt it not so hot, and so less and less, until I felt it like as my natural heat; just like those that goe into a hot Bathe, at first crie out it is insufferable and scalding hot, yet with a little use will sinde it cool enough: But whilest I lay on Parnassus Hill, I began to make a Lyrick Verse, as thus.

Bright, Sparkling hot Poetick sire, My duller Muse Inspire Unto thy Sweeter Lyre: My Fancies like as Notes all sit To play a Tune of VVit On well-strung Numbers fit.

But your unfortnnate Visit hath pull'd me so hastily down from the Hill, that the force of the speed hath crack'd my Imaginary Fiddle, broke the Strings of my Wit, blotted the Notes of Numbers, so spoil'd my Song.

Lady Visit.

Prethee, there is none that would have taken the pains to have sung thy Song, unlesse some blind Fidler in an Alehouse, and then not any one would have listen'd unto it, for the fume of the drink would stop the

Page 240

sense of their ears: Besides, Drunkards love not, nor delight in nothing but beastly Nonsense; but howsoever I had done thee a friendly part, to fetch thee down from off that monstrous high Hill, whereby the vastnesse of the height might have made you so dizzy, as you might have fallen there-from on the sharp stones of Spite, or at least, on the hard ground of Censure, which might have bruised, if not wounded the Reputatio of thy Wit.

Lady Contempl.

Let me tell you, you had done me a Courtesie to have let me remain'd there some time; for if you had let me alone, I might there have improv'd the Stature of my Wit, perfected the Health of my Judg∣ment, and had nourished the Life of my Muse.

Exeunt.
Scene 27.
Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue, Cloathed like her Self.
LOrd Title.

Still I fear my fault is beyond a Pacification, yet the Gods are pacified with submissive Actions, as bended knees, repentant tear, im∣ploring words, sorrowful Sighs, and dejected Countenances, all which I gave to thee.

Lady Virtue.

Though there is always in my minde an obedient respect to Merit, yet a scorn is a sufficient cause to make a rebelling of thoughts, words, and actions; for though I am poor, yet I am virtuous, and Virtue is to be pre∣ferr'd before Wealth or Birth, were I meanly born. But howsoever, true Love, like a great and powerful Monarch, soon disperses those rebellious passions, and quiets those factious thoughts, and all murmuring speeches, or words, are put to silence, banishing all frowning Countenance, returning humble looks into the eyes again.

Lord Title.

Then you have pardon'd me.

Lady Vertue.

Yes.

Lord Title.

And do you love me?

Lady Virtue.

As Saints do Heaven.

Lord Title kisses Lady Virtues hands
Lord Title.

Your Favours have rais'd my spirits from the grave of Melan∣choly, and your pure Love hath given me a new Life.

Lady Virtue.

So truly I love you, as nothing but death can destroy it; my, I am of that belief, that were I dead, and turned to ashes, my dust, like firm and lasting steel, would fly unto you, as to the Loadstone, if you were at such distance as nothing might oppose.

Lord Title.

Thus Souls, as well as Bodies, love.

Exeunt.

Page 241

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Amorous.
LAdy Amorous.

Since I cannot have the happinesse of your Lordships company at my House, I am come to wait upon you at your House.

Lord Courts.

Your Ladyship doth me too great an honour.

Lady Amorous.

Your Lordship is grown very Courtly. Pray how comes our familiar friendship so estranged, and set at distance with Comple∣ments?

Lord Courts.

Madam, my wilde manners have been so rude to your Fair Sex, as I am become a scorn and shame unto my self.

Lady Amorous.

I hate Civility and Manners in a man, it makes him ap∣pear sneakingly, poorly, and effeminate, and not a Cavalier: Bold and free Actions become your Sex.

Lord Courts.

It doth so in a Camp amongst rude and rough Souldiers, whose Breeding never knew Civility, nor will obey gentle Commands, sub∣mitting only to rigorous Authority: But to the fair, tender, effeminate Sex, men should offer their service by their admiring Looks, civil Discourses, and humble Actions, bowing as to a Deity; and when they are pleased to fa∣vour their servants, those Favours to be accounted beyond the Gifts of Iove.

Lady Amorous.

Have I Cuckolded my Husband, dishonour'd my Family, defam'd my self for your sake, and am I thus rewarded and thrown aside with civil Complements? O basest of men!

Lord Courts.

I am sorry I have wronged your Husband, but more sorry I have dishonour'd you, and what satisfaction a true repentance can make, I offer upon the Altar of a Reformed Life.

Lady Amor.

Do you repent? O false man! May you be cursed of all your Sex, and die the death of Orpheus.

Lady Amorous goes out.
Lord Courtship alone.
Lord Courts.

It is beyond the power of Iove to please the various humours of Woman-kind.

Exit
Scene 29.
Enter two Gentlemen.
1 GEntleman.

There was never so many Noble Persons Married in one day, in one City, I think, before those that are to Marry to mor∣row.

2 Gentlem.

Who are they?

1 Gentlem.

Why, do you not hear?

Page 240

2 Gentlem.

No.

1 Gentlem.

Surely you have been either dead or deaf.

2 Gentlem.

I have been in the Country.

1 Gentlem.

That is some reason indeed; but the Newes of the City uses to travel in Letters on Post-horses into the Country.

2 Gentlem.

No faith, for the most part they come in slow Waggons; but tell me who those are that are to be Maried to morrow?

1 Gentlem.

Why first there is the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue. Se∣condly, the Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard. Thirdly, there is Sir Famit Poet and the Lady Contemplation. Fourthly, the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc'd Traveller. And fifthly, the Lady Visitant and Sir Humphry In∣terruption.

2 Gentlem.

I will do my endeavour to see them all; for I will go to each Bridal House.

1 Gentlem.

How will you do so, being all maried on a day?

2 Gentlem.

Why I will bid Good-morrow to the one, and I will goe to Church with another, and dine with the third, and dance the afternoon with the fourth, and see the fifth a bed.

1 Gentlem.

That you may do.

Exeunt.
Scene 30.
Enter Mistris Troublesome, and her Maid.
MIstris Troubles.

Lord there are so many Weddings to be to morrow, as I know not which to go to! Besides, I shall displease those I go not to, being invited to them all.

Maid.

If you would displease neither of them, you must seign your self sick, and go to none of them.

Mistris Troubles.

None of them, say you? that would be a cause to make me die; for I would not but be a guest to one of them for any thing could be given me: But I am resolved to go to the Lady Conversation and Sir Ex∣perienc'd Travellers Wedding, for there there will be the most company, and it is company that I love better than the Wedding-cheer; for much company is a Feast to me.

Maid.

Truly Mistris, I wonder you should delight in company, you being in years.

Mistris Troubles.

Out you naughty Wench, do you say I am old?

Maid.

No indeed, I did not name old.

Mistris Troubles.

Then let me tell you, that those women that are in years, seek company to divulge their Wit, as youth to divulge their Beauty; and we Aged Wits may chance to catch a Lover from a young Beauty: But I should applaud my own wit, if it could contrive to bring each Bride and Bridegroom into one Assembly, making Hymen's Monarchy a Republick, where all should be in common.

Maid.

So Mistriss you would prove a Traytor to Hymen, which is a Bawd.

Mistris Troubles.

Faith I will turn you away for your boldness.

Page 241

Enter Mistris Gossip.
O Mistris Gossip you are welcome, what Newes!
Mistris Gossip.

I am come to tell you, that the five Bridals meet with their Guests and good Cheer at the City-Hall, and make their several Compa∣nies Joyning as one, as one Body, and there will be such Revelling, as the like was never before.

Mistris Troubles.

Iuno be thanked, and Venus be praised for it; for I was much perplex'd concerning their Divisions, till you came and brought me this good Newes of their Corporation.

Exeunt.
Scene 31.
Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue as his Bride, both of them richly attired, and Old Humanity following them.
LOrd Title.

Come Old Humanity, and be our Father, to ioyn and give us in the Church; and then when we are Maried, we will live a Country-life, I as a Shepherd, and this Lady as my Fair Shepherdess.

Exeunt.
Scene 32.
Enter the Lady Ward as a Bride, and her Nurse Nurse Careful.
NUrse Careful.

My dear Child, you appear as a sweet budding Rose this morning.

Lady Ward.

Roses are beset with thorns, Nurse, I hope I am not so.

Nurse Caref.

By'r Lady your Husband may prove a thorn, if he be not a good man, and a kind Husband; but Oh my heart doth ake.

Lady Ward.

Wherefore doth it ake?

Enter Lord Courtship as a Bridegroom.
Lord Courts.

Come Sweet, are you ready? for it is time to go to Church, it is almost twelve a clock.

Lady Ward.

I am ready, but my Nurse doth affright me, by telling me her heart doth ake, as if she did fore-know by her experien'd age some ill for∣tune towards me, or that I shall be unhappy in my mariage.

Lord Courts.

Her heart doth not ake for you, but for her self, because she cannot be a young fair bride, as you are, as being past her youth; so that her heart doth ake out of a sad remembrance of her self, not for a present, or a future cause for you.

Nurse Caref.

Well, well, I was young indeed, and a comely bride when I was maried, though I say it, and had a loving bridegroom, Heaven rest his soul.

Exeunt.

Page 244

Scene 33.
Enter the Lady Visitant as a Bride, to the Lady Con∣plation, another Bride.
LAdy Visit.

Come, I have brought all my bridal guests hither to joyn with yours, for we will go to Church together: Wherefore prethee come away, our Bridegrooms and our Guests stay for you.

Lady Contempl.

I will go to them by and by.

Lady Visit.

Why, I hope you do not stay to muse upon Phantasmes, saith Mariage will banish them out of your head, you must now imploy your time with Realities.

Lady Contempl.

If I thought Mariage would destroy or disturb my Con∣templations, I would not marry, although my Wedding-guests were come, and my Wedding-dinner ready drest, and my Wedding-cloaths on; nay, were I at the holy Altar, I would return back.

Lady Visit.

That would be such an action, as all the Kingdome would say you were mad.

Lady Contem.

I had rather all the World should not only say I were mad, but think me so, rather than my self to be unhappy.

Lady Visit.

Can want of Contemplation make you unhappy?

Lady Contem.

Yes, as unhappy as a body can be without a soul; for Con∣templation is the life of the soul, and who can be happy that hath a dead soul?

Lady Visit.

By my troth I had rather be dead, than have such a dull life.

Enter Maid.
Maid.

Madam, the Bridegroom is coming hither.

Lady Contempl.

I will prevent him, and meet him.

Exeunt.
Scene 34.
Enter the two Gentlemen.
1 GEntlem.

Come away, come away, they'l be all married before we shall get to Church.

2 Gentlem.

There will be enough Witnesses, we may well be spared; but so I share of the Feast, I care not whether they be married or not.

1 Gentle.

The truth is, the benefit to us will be only in eating of their meat, and drinking of their wine.

2 Gentlem.

And I mean to be drunk, but not for joy of their Mariages, but for pleasure of my Gusto.

Exeunt.

Page 245

Scene 35.
Enter the five Couples, and all the Bridal Guests: The Bride∣grooms and the Brides dance, and the while the Bridal Torches are held in their hands: Then a `Poet speaks thus to them.
Speaker.
What Lines of Light doe from those Torches spin, Which winds about those Ladies whiter skin? But from their Eyes more Splend'rous Beams doe run, As bright as those that issue from the Sun. Wherein the lesser Lights wax dull and dim, Or like as Minnes in an Ocean swim.
Enter Mall Mean-bred.
MAll Mean-bred.

By your good leave Gentlefolks,

The Lord Maquiss writ this Scene
I am come here to complain of this Hog-grubber Sir Golden Riches, who did tempt me with Gold till he had his desire, you know all what it is, and I like an honest woman, as it were, kept my word, and performed truly as any woman could do: Speak, canst thou detect me either in word or deed? and like a false and covetous wretch as thou art, performed nothing with me as thou shouldst have done, I am sure of that: Is't not a truth? speak coverous wretch, speak.

Sir Gold. Rich.

Why, what did I promise you?

Mall Mean-bred.

Why thou didst promise me an hundred pounds in gold, shew'd it me, and then took it away again; nay further, thou saidst I should be a Lady, and have a great parimanus Coach gilt, with neighing Horses, and a Coachman, with a Postilion to ride afore: Nay, nay, I remember well e∣nough what you said, you talkd of Gesemond, Pomatum, and Roman Gunpow∣der for my hair, and fine gowns and stockings, and sine lac'd silk garters, and roses shining like Stars, God bless us!

Sir Gold. Rich.

Did I, did I?

Mall Mean-bred.

Yes, that you did, you know what you did, and how you did, and so do I; and Gentlefolks as I am a true woman, which he knows I am, I never had more than this white fustion wastecoat, and three pence to buy me three penyworth of pins, for he would allow me no incle to tie it withall, and this old stamel peticoat, that was his great Grand∣mothers in Eighty eight, I am no two-legg'd creature else.

Sir Gold. Rich.

But I bought you velvet to gard it withall.

Mall Mean-bred.

Yes, that's true, an old black velvet Jerkin without sleeves, that had belonged to one of Queen Elizabeth her learned Counsel in the Law of blessed Memory, primo of Her Reign, and you bought it of an old Broker at Nottingham; and as I am a true Christian woman, if our Neigh∣bour Botcher could almost few it on, it was so mortified.

Sir Gold. Rich.

I bought you shooes, and ribbons to tie them withall.

She shewes her shooes.
Mall Mean-bred.

Look Gentlefolks, a pair of wet-leather shooes, that have given me a Cold, and two leather points that he calls ribbons, like a lying false man.

Page 246

Sir Gold Rich.

I am sure I bought you stockins and garters.

Mall Mean-bred.

Old Doncaster-stockins, that I was sain to wash my self with a little borrow'd sope, and they were footed with yellow fustion too, and the garters he talks of were lists of cloth, which a Taylor gave me for my New-years-gift, and I cannot chuse but grieve to see his unkindnesse; I gave you satisfaction often, but you never satisfied me, I will take it upon my death.

Sir Gold. Rich.

Go Gill Flirt, pack away hence.

Mall Mean-bred.

Nay that puts me in mind of the Pedlars pack you pro∣mis'd me, and I never had so much bought as that I might whissle for them; but I will follow thee to Hell, but I will have something more out of thee than I have had, or else I will make all the Town ring of me.

Enter two Beadles.
Sir Gold. Rich.

Here Beadles, take her to the Correction-house, Bridewell, and let her be punished.

Mall Mean-bred.

Is it so, thou miscreant? well, I thought to be thy Bride, and not Bridewel, I never thought it in my conscience.

Here ends my Lords writing.
Lord Title,

Pray stay.

Enter Thom. Purveyor.
The Lord Title whispers to Thom. Purveyor, then turns to Mall Mean-bred.
Lord Title.

Mall, although you deceived me, and broke your promise, you I will not only save you from the punishment you were to suffer at the Cor∣rection-house, but I will give thee a Husband here, lusty Thom. Purveyor, to whom, for taking thee to Wife, I will give him a lease of fifty pounds a year. Here Tom, take her and go marry her.

Mall Mean-bred.

Heaven bless your Honour.

Tom.

Come Mall, let us go Wed, for fifty pounds a year is better than thy Maiden-head.

Exeunt.
FINIS.

Notes

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