Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

ACT IV.

Scene 13.

Enter Roger Farmer, and Maudling his Wife.

MAudling Huswife.

Truly Husband our Maid Poor Virtue is a very in∣dustrious Servant as ever I had in my life.

Roger Farmer.

Yes wife, but you were angry with me at first because I per∣swaded you to take her.

Maudling Huswife.

VVhy, she seem'd to be so fine a feat, as I thought she would never have setled to her work.

Roger Farmer.

Truly VVife, she does forecast her business so prudently, and doth every thing so orderly, and behaves her self so handsomely, car∣ryes her self so modestly, as she may be a Pattern to our Daughter.

Maudling Huswife.

I am a better Pattern my self.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Poor Virtue with a Sheephook, as comming from tending her sheep, and the Lord Title meets her.

LOrd Title.

Fair Maid, may I be your Shepheard to attend you.

Poor Virtue.

I am but a single Sheep that needs no great attendance, and a harmless one, that strayes not forth the ground I am put to feed.

Lord Title.

Mistake me not fair Maid, I desire to be your Shepheard, and you my fair Shepheardess, attending loving thoughts, that feed on kisses sweet, folded in amorous arms.

Poor Virtue.

My mind never harbors wanton thoughts, nor sends immodest glances forth, nor will infold unlawful love, for chastity sticks as fast unto my Soul, as light unto the Sun, or heat unto the fire, or motion unto life, or ab∣sence unto death, or time unto eternity, and I glory more in being chast, than Hellen of her beauty, or Athens of their learning and eloquence, or the Lace∣demonions of their Lawes, or the Persians of their Riches, or Greece of their Fa∣bles, or the Romans of their Conquests; and Chastity is more delightfull to my mind, than Fancy is to Poets, or Musick to the Ears, or Beauty to the Eyes, and I am as constant to Chastity, as truth to Unity, and Death to life; for I am as free, and pure from all unchastity as Angels are of sin.

Poor Virtue goes out.

Lord Title alone.

Lord Title.

I wonder not so much at Fortunes gifts, as Natures curiosities, not so much at Riches, Tittle and power, as Beauty, VVit, and Virtue, joyn'd

in one; besides, she doth amaze me by expressing so much learning, as if she had been taught in some famous Schools, and had read many histories, and yet a Cottager, and a young Cottager, tis strange.

Ex.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and Mr. Adviser.

ADviser.

My Lord, doth my Counsel take good effect?

Lord Courtship.

Yes faith, for she seems to take it very patiently, or elce she is so dull a Creature as she is not sensible of any injury that's done her.

Adviser.

How doth she look when you adress, and salute your Mi∣striss?

Lord Courtship.

She seems to regard us not; but is as if she were in a deep contemplation of another world.

Adviser.

I think she is one of the fewest words, for I never heard her speak.

Lord Courtship.

Faith so few, as I am in good hope she is tongue-tyed, or will grow dumb.

Adviser.

That would be such a happiness, as all married men would en∣vy you for.

Lord Courtship.

They will have cause, for there is nothing so tedious as talking women, they speak so constraintly, and utter their Nonsence with such formality, and ask impertinent questions so gravely, or else their dis∣course is snip snap, or so loud and shrill, as deafs a mans ears, so as a man would never keep them Company, if it were not for other reasons.

Adviser.

Your Lordship speaks as if you were a woman-hater.

Lord Courtship.

O Pardon me, for there is no man loves the Sex better than I; yet I had rather discourse with their beauty than their wits; besides, I only speak of generalities, not particularities.

Ex.

Scene. 16.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Humphrey Interruption.

INterruption.

Lady, pray make me partaker of some of your conceptions.

Contempl.

My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour, that after he hath spoke, if he were to speak upon the same subject he could hardly do it, if it were not impossible just to speak as he did, as to express the same subjects in the same expressions, and way of his natural Rhetorick; for the sense may be the same, but the expressions, & way of Rhetorick wil hard∣ly be the same; but 'tis likely will be very different, and so differing, as not to be like the same, but the same premeditated Rhetorick, will many times

serve to many several designs, or preaching, pleading, or speaking, the Theam or cause being altered; This is the difference betwixt extemporary Orato∣ry, and premeditated Oratory, the one may be spoke, as many times as an O∣rator will, and make the same Oratory serve to many several Subjects; the o∣ther being not fixt, but voluntary, vanishes out of the remembrance, the same many times do my conceptions.

Interrup.

But I hope all are not vanished, some remain; wherefore pray expresse or present any one of your conceptions after what manner of way you please.

Contempl.

Why then I will tell you, I had a conception of a Monster, as a Creature that had a rational soul, yet was a Fool: It had had a beautiful and perfect shape, yet was deformed and ill-favoured; It had clear distinguish∣ing senses, and yet was sencelesse; It was produced from the Gods, but had the nature of a Devil; It had an eternal life, yet dyed as a Beast, It had a body, and no body.

Interrup.

What Monster call you this?

Contempl.

I call him Man.

Interrup.

This is a Man of your own conception.

Contemp.

A man of Natures creating is as monstrous for though man hath a rational soul, yet most men are fools, making no use of their reason; and though Man hath a beautiful and perfect shape, yet for the most part, they make themselves deformed and ill-favoured with antick postures, violent passions, or brutish vices; and man hath clear distinguishing Senses, yet in his sleep, or with sumes, or drink, he is sencelesse: Man was produced immediately from the Gods, yet man being wicked, and prone to evil, hath by evil wick∣ednesse the nature of a Devil; Man 'tis said, shall live for ever, as having an eternal life, yet betwixt this life and the other, he dyes like a Beast, and turns to dust as other Creatures do; but the only difference between the man Na∣ture creates, and the man my Conceptions create is, that Natures man hath a real substance as a real body; whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea, which is an incorporal man, so as the body of my concepted man, is as the soul of Natures created man, an incorporality.

Ex.

Scene 17.

Enter the Lord Title, and Mall Mean-bred.

LOrd Title.

* 1.1Well, I have lost my first Course in Love, and now like an angry bloody Gray-hound, I will down with the first I meet, were she as innocent as a Dove, or as wise as a Serpent, down she goes.

Enter Mall Mean-bred.

But soft, here's Loves game, and Ile flye at her. Fair One, for so you are.

Mall Mean-bred.

Truly Sir I am but a Blouse.

Lord Title.

Think better of your self, and believe me.

Mall Mean.

My Father hath told me, I must not believe a Gentleman in such matters.

Lord Title.

Why sweetest? I am a Lord.

Mall Mean.

A Lord; Lord blesse your Worship then, but my Father gave me warning of a Lord, he said they might nay, say and swear too, and do any thing, for they were Peers of the Realm, there was no medling with them he said, without a Rebellion, blesse me from a Lord, for it is a naughty thing, as they say, I know not.

Lo. Title.

Do you value me so little, when I can make you an Apocryphal Lady?

Mall Mean.

The Apocrypha forsooth is out of my Book, I have been bred purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha, the Gods blesse us from it, and from all such ill things.

Lo. Title.

Well, in short, will you love me?

Mall Mean.

I am so ashamed to love a Lord forsooth that I know not how to behave my self.

Lo. Title.

I will teach you.

Mall Mean.

If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant Country Maid, I will do the best I can to learn forsooth; but will it not be too much pains for your Honour, do you think?

Lo. Title.

No no, it will be both for my Honour, and my pleasure, and for the pleasure of my Honour.

Mall Mean-bred.

Blesse us, how the Lords doe. It backward and forward at their pleasure, the finest that ever was; but what would your Honour have of me?

Lo. Title.

By this kiss Ile tell you.

He goes to kiss her, she seems nice and coy.

Mall Mean.

O fie, fie, good your Honour, do not scandalize your lips to kisse mine, and make me so proud as never to kisse our Shepherd again.

He offers.

Mall Mean.

No fie.

Lo. Title.

I will and must kisse you.

[He strives]

Mall Mean-bred.

Nay, good your Honour, good your Honour.

He kisses her.

What are you the better now? But I see there is no denying a Lord, for∣sooth it is not civil, and they are so peremptory too, the Gods blesse them, and make them their Servants.

Lo. Title.

This kisse hath so inflamed me, therefore for Loves sake, meet me in the Evening, in the Broom close here.

Mall Mean.

I know the Close forsooth, I have been there before now.

Lo. Title.

Well, and when we meet I will discover more than yet I have done.

Mall Mean.

So you had need forsooth, for nothing is discovered yet, either on your side, or mine, but I will keep my promise.

Lo. Title.

There spoke my better Angel; so adiew.

Mall Mean.

An Angel, I will not break my word for two angels, and I hope there will be no dew neither, God shield you forsooth.

Ex.

Here ends my Lord Marquesse.

Scene 18.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, following Poor Virtue.

Sir Effeminate Lovely.

Fair Maid, stay and look upon my person.

Poor Virtue.

Why, so I do.

Effem. Love.

And how do you like it?

Poor Vir.

As I like a curious built house, wherein lives a vain and self-con∣ceited owner.

Effem. Love.

And are not you in love with it?

Poor Vir.

No truly, no more than with a pencilled Picture.

Effem. Love.

Why, I am not painted.

Poor Vir.

You are by Nature, though not by Art.

Effem. Love.

And do you despise the best and curiousest Works of Na∣ture?

Poor Vir.

No, I admire them.

Effem. Love.

If you admire them, you will admire me, and if you admire me, you will yield to my desires.

Poor Vir.

There may be admiration without love, but to yield to your de∣sires, were to abuse Natures VVorks.

Effem. Love.

No, It were to enjoy them.

Poor Vir.

Nature hath made Reason in man, as well as Sence, and we ought not to abuse the one, to please the other; otherwise man would be like Beasts, following their sensualities, which Nature never made man to be; for she created Virtues in the Soul, to govern the Senses and Appetites of the Body, as Prudence, Justice, Temperance, and Conscience.

Effem. Love.

Conscience? VVhat is that, natural fear?

Poor Vir.

No, it is the tenderest part of the Soul, bathed in a holy dew, from whence repentant tears do flow.

Effem. Love.

I find no such tender Constitution, nor moist Complexion in my Soul.

Poor Vir.

That is, by reason the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up, & seared the Conscience dry.

Effem. Love.

You may call it what Fire you will, but I am certain it is your Beauty that kindles it, and your Wit that makes it flame, burning with hot desires.

Poor Vir.

Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again.

Poor Virtue goes out.

Lovely alone.

Effem. Love.

I am sure Nature requires a self-satisfaction, as well as a self-preservation, and cannot, nor will not be quiet without it, esteeming it beyond life.

Ex.

Scene 19.

Enter the Lady Ward, and Nurse Careful.

Lady Ward.

I wonder my Lord Courtship, he being counted a wise man; should make me his Baud, if he intends to make me his Wife, and by my troth Nurse, I am too young for that grave Office.

Nurse Careful.

How ignorantly you speak Child? it is a sign you have been bred obscurely, and know little of the world; or rather it proves your Mother dyed before you could speak, or go, otherwise you would be better experien∣ced in these businesses.

Lady Ward.

My Mother, Nurse, Heaven rest her soul, she would never have made me a Baud.

Nurse Careful.

No, why then she would not do as most Mothers do now a dayes; for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters, and to receive messages, or at lest to watch at the door left their Fathers should come unawares, and when they come to make some excuse, and then the Mother laughs, and sayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle.

La. Ward.

What, for telling a lye?

Nurse Careful.

Yes, when it is told so, as to appeare like a truth.

Lady Ward.

But it is a double fault, as to deceive the Father, and be a Baud to the Mother.

Nurse Careful.

Why, the Mother will execute the same Office for the daugh∣ter when she is marryed, and her self grown into years; for from the age of seven or eight years old, to the time they are maryed, the Daughter is a Baud to the Mother; and from the time of their marriage, to the time of their Mothers death, the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter; but if the Mother be indifferently young, and hath a young tooth in her head, as the old saying is, they Baud for each other.

Lady Ward.

But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter, before she is marryed.

Nurse Care.

O there is reason for that, for that may spoil her fortune, by hindering her marriage: for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face of adultery, the like Veil is Baud-mothers, and Baud-daughters; for who would suspect any lewdnesse, when the Mother and the Daughter is toge∣ther?

La. Ward.

And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers, as Daughters are for their Mothers?

Nurse Careful.

No saith, Boys have facility, or ingenuity as Girles have; besides, they are kept most commonly so strictly to their Bookes, when Girles have nothing else to do; but when they have cast away their Books, and come to be marryed men, then they may chance to Pimp for their Wives.

Lady Ward.

O fie Nurse, surely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold himself.

Nurse Care.

O yes, if they be poor, or covetous, or ambitious; and then if they have a handsome woman to their wife, they will set her as a bait to catch their designs in the trap of Adultery; or patient, quiet, simple, fearful

men will, if they have a Spritely wise, they will play the Pimp, either for fear, or quiet; for such men to such wives, will do any thing to please them, although it be to Cuckold themselves.

La. Ward.

But surely Nurse no Gentleman will do so.

Nurse Gare.

I know not who you call Gentleman, but those that bear up high and look big, and vant loud, and walk proud, and carry the out-side of a Gentleman, will do so.

La. Ward.

Certainly Nurse they are but Bastard Gentry, or else they are degenerated.

Nurse Careful.

An incipid Branch may spring from a sound Root, ma∣ny a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree.

La. Ward.

And do Wives play the Bauds for their Husbands, as the Hus∣bands play the Pimps for their Wives?

Nurse Care.

Most often; for they will make Gossiping meetings, on purpose for their Husbands to Court other women; for they know when their Hus∣bands minds are fill'd with amorous love, they will not muse upon their acti∣ons, nor examine their wayes; besides, when as the Husband would take his liberty without disturbance, he will wink at the liberty his wife takes, and so will be procures for each other, and the Ladys acquaintance are Confi∣dents.

La. Ward.

Confidents, what is that, Nurse?

Nurse Careful.

Why it is thus, two Ladies make friendship, or at least call Friends, and if any man desires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them, he addresses himself to the other, and expresses what Passions and Affections he hath for her friend, and so makes his complaints and affections known to her; whereupon she recommends his addresses and service to her Friend; thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his professions, and re∣turning her Friends civil answers, appointing places for each others love-meetings, the other will do as much for her.

La. Ward.

Why this is a Baud.

Nurse Care.

O peace Child, for if any body heard you say so, they would laugh at you for a Fool, but 'tis a sign you never was a Courtier, for I knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour; and there were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other, and a great Prince made love to one of them, but adddrest himself to the other, as being her Friend; this young Maid askt why he did so, it was answered, she was the Princes Mistresse Confident; and just as you ask me, what said she, is a confi∣dent a Baud; whereupon the whole Court laught at her, and for that only question condemned her to be a very Fool, nay, a meer Changling.

La. Ward.

VVell Nurse, say what you will, Confident is but a Courtly name for a Baud.

Ex.

Scene 20.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Mall Mean-bred.

SIR Effeminate Lovely.

Those wandering Stars that shine like brightest day, are fixt on me, the Center of your love.

This following Scene was writ by the Lord Marquess of New-castle.

Mall Mean-bred.

O Heavens!

Sir. Effem. Lovely.

Happy to touch those Lillies in your cheeks mingled with Roses, loves perfumed bath.

Mall. Mean-bred.

They grow forsooth in our Garden.

Sir Effem. Lovely.

You are the Garden of all sweets for love, your blush∣ing lips of the Vermillion die, and those twin cherries,give me leave to taste.

Mall Mean-bred.

Truly Sir, I understand no Latin, but I will call our Vi∣car to you, and he shall expound.

Sir Effem. Lovely.

No dearest Dear, my lovely Dear, my dearest Love, my lovelyest Dear.

Mall Mean-bred.

I never cost you any thing as yet, Sir.

Sir Effem. Lovely.

Why, then no Lady of Arcadie bred.

Mall Mean-bred.

Truly Sir, this is as our Vicar saith, like Hebrew without poynts, to be read backwards; say any thing forward in Notthingham-shire; speak, that I may guess at, and I will answer your VVorship, though truly, it is as fine as ever I understood not.

Effem. Lovely.

Why then sweet heart I love you, and would gladly enjoy you.

Mall Mean-bred.

O sie, enjoy is a naughty word forsooth, if it please you.

Effem. Lovely.

It would please me, your thoughts of what you mince.

Mall Mean-bred.

Thoughts are free forsooth, and I love whole joints with∣out mincing.

Effem. Lovely.

Why then in plain English, I would have your Maiden-head.

Mall Mean-bred.

O dear, how will you get it, can you tell? Truely, true∣ly, I did not think such naughty words would come forth of so fine a Gentle∣mans mouth.

Effem. Lovely.

But tell me truely, do you think me fine?

Mall Mean.

You will make me blush now, and discover all; so fine cloaths, the Taylor of Norton never made such, and so finely made, unbotton∣ed and untrust doth so become you; but I do hang down my head for shame; and those Linnen Boot-hose (as if you did long to ride,) do so become you, and your short Coat to hang on your left arm; O sweet, O sweet, and then your Hat hid with so fine a Feather, our Peacocks tailes are not like it; and then your hair so long, so finely curled, and powder'd in sweets, a sweeter Gentleman I never saw. My love's beyond dissembling, so young, so fresh, so every thing, I warrant you; O Sir, you will ravish me, but yet you can∣not.

Effem. Lovely.

O how you have made me thankfulnesse all over for this

your bounty to me; wherefore my earthly Paradise, let us meet in the next Close, there under some sweet Hedge to tast Loves aromatick Banquet at your Table.

Mall Mean.

O Sir, you blushes I consent; farewel; do not betray me then, you must not tell.

Farewell my sweetest, granting of my sute, Shall still inslave me, and be ever mute.

Here ends my Lord Marquesse's Scene.

Ex.

Scene 21.

Enter Poor Virtue, and Sir Golden Riches following her.

Golden Riches.

Stay lovely Maid, and receive a Fortune.

Poor Virtue.

I am Fortune proof Sir, she cannot tempt me.

Gold. Rich.

But she may perswade you to reason.

Poor Virtue.

That she seldome doth, for she is alwayes in extremes, and

Extremes are out of Reason's Schools, That makes all those that follow Fortune Fooles.

Gol. Rich.

What do you Rime, my pretty Maid?

Poor Virtue.

Yes Rich Sir, to end my discourse.

Golden Riches.

I will make you Rich, if you will receive my gifts.

Poor Virtue.

I love not gifts Sir, because they often prove bribes to cor∣rupt.

Gold. Rich.

Why, what do you love then?

Poor Vir.

I love Truth, Fidelity, Justice, Chastity; and I love obedience to lawful Authority, which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring, I would suffer death.

Gold. Rich.

Are you so wilful?

Poor Vir.

No, I am so constant.

Gold. Rich.

But young Maid, you ought not to deny all gifts, for there are gifts of pure affection, Love-gifts of Charity, gifts of Humanity, and gifts of Generosity.

Poor Virtue.

They are due debts, and not gifts; For those you call gifts of pure Love, are payments to dear deserving friends; and those of Charity are payments to Heaven; and those of Humanity are payments to Nature, and those Generosity, are payments to Merit, but there are vain-glorious gifts, covetous gifts, gifts of fear, and gifts that serve as Bauds to corrupt foolish young Virgins.

Gold. Rich.

Are you so wise to refuse them?

Poor Vir.

I am so virtuous as not to take them.

Ex.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Written by my Lord Marquess of New-castle.