Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lady Conversation, and Sir Fancy Poet.

LAdy Conversation.

What is the reason that Mercury is feign'd to be the patron of Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet.

That is to be the patron of Scholars, for Scholars are the greatest Thieves, stealing from the Authours they read, to their own use.

Lady Convers.

And why are Scholars counted the greatest Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Because that they steal the Spirits, or life of renown, out of the treasury of Fame; when all other sorts of Thieves steal but the goods of Fortune, which is nothing but a Corporal dross.

Convers.

And why is he feigned the talkative God?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Because Scholars talk more than other men, and most com∣monly so much, as they will let none speak but themselves; and when there is a Company of Scholars together, they will be so fierce in disputes, as they will be ready to go to cuffs for the Prerogative of their opinion.

Convers.

The Prerogative of the tongue you mean; but why are Scholars apt to talk most?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Because they overcharge their heads with several Authors, as Epicures do their Stomacks with variety of meats, and being overcharged, they are forced to vent it forth through the mouth, as the other through the gut; for the tongue, as a Feather, tickles the throat of Vainglory, vomiting out the slime of Learning, into the ears of the hearers; but some heads, as Stomacks which are naturally weak, are so grip'd, by reason it doth not dis∣gest well, as they vent nothing but windy Phrases; and other brains which are hot and moist, by reason of a facil memory, disgest so fast, as they do nothing but purge loose Sentences; and other brains that are too dry and Incipid, are so costive, as their restringency strains out nothing but strong lines.

Convers.

What is that, Non-sense?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Indeed they are hard words without sense.

Convers.

What makes a good Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet.

A quick Fancy.

Convers.

What makes a good Oratour?

Sir Fancy Poet.

A ready Tongue.

Convers.

What makes a good Physician?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Much Practice.

Convers.

What makes a good Divine?

Sir Fancy Poet.

A Holy Life.

Convers.

What makes a good States-Man?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Long experience, great observance, prudent industry, in∣genuous wit, and distinguishing judgment.

Convers.

What makes a good Souldier?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Change of Fortune, Courage, Prudence, and Patience.

Convers.

What makes a good Courtier?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Diligence, Flattery, and time-serving.

Convers.

VVhat makes a good Prince, or Governour?

Sir Fancy Poet.

Justice, Clemency, Generosity, Courage, and Prudence mixt together.

Convers.

VVhat makes a good VVoman?

Sir Fancy Poet.

A Poet.

Convers.

VVhy a Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet.

By reason the Poetical wits convert their natural defects into sweet graces, their follies to pure innocencies, and their Vices into He∣roick Virtues.

Convers.

By these descriptions, you make as if women were more obliged to Poets than to Nature.

Sir Fancy Poet.

They are so; for where Nature, or Education, makes one good, or beautiful VVoman, Poets make ten; besides, Poets have not only made greater numbers of beautiful women, but perfecter beauties than ever Nature made.

Convers.

Then let me tell you, that women make Poets; for women kindle the masculine brains with the fire of Love, from whence arises a Poetical flame; and their Beauty is the fuel that feeds it.

Sir Fancy Poet.

I confess, were there no women, there would be no Poets; for the Muses are of that Sex.

Exeunt.