Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

ACT II.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Humphrey Interruption.

INterruption.

Lady, what makes you so silently sad?

Contemplation.

Pardon me Sir, I am not sad at this time, for my thoughts are merry, and my spirits lively.

Interrupt.

There is no appearance of mirth in you, for mirth hath alwayes a dancing heel, a singing voyce, a talking tongue, and a laughing face.

Contempl.

I have such merry Companions sometimes; but I seldome dance, sing, talk, or laugh my self.

Interrupt.

Where are those Companions? I desire to be acquainted with them, and keep them Company.

Contempl.

You cannot keep them Company, for the place they inhabit in, is too little for your Corporal body to enter; besides, they are so curious, choyce, and nice Creatures, as they will vanish at the very sight of you.

Interrupt.

Why Lady, I am none of the biggest sized Men, nor am I of a terrible aspect; I have seen very fine and delicate Creatures.

Contempl.

But you never saw any of these Creatures.

Interrupt.

Pray where do they dwell, and what are their Names? I long to visit them.

Contempl.

They dwell in my head, and their Sirnames are called thoughts; but how you will visit them I cannot tell, but they may visit you.

Interrupt.

Faith Lady, your relation hath made me despair of an enter∣view, but not a friendly entertainment, if you please to think well of me.

Contempl.

Thoughts are free, and for the most part they censure according to fancy.

Interrupt.

Then fancy me such a one, as you could like best, and love most.

Contempl.

That I cannot doe, for I love those best which I create my self, and Nature hath taught me to prize whatsoever is my own most, although of smaller valew, than what's anothers, although of greater worth.

Interrupt.

Then make me yours, by creating me anew.

Contempl.

That is past my skill; but if you will leave me alone, I will think of you when you are gone; for I had rather of the two entertain you in my thoughts, than keep you Company in discourse; for I am better pleased with a solitary silence, or a silent solitariness, than with a talking conversation, or

an entertaining talking, for words for the most part are rather useless spent, than profitably spoke, and time is lost in listning to them, for few tongues make Musick, wanting the Cords of Sense, or sound of Reason, or singers of Fancy, to play thereon.

Interrupt.

But you will injure your wit, to bury your wit in solitary silence.

Contempl.

Wit lives not on the tongue, as language doth, but in the brain, which power hath, as Nature, to create.

Interrupt.

But those are aery not material Creatures.

Contempl.

'Tis true, but what they want in substance, they have in variety; for the brain can create Millions of several Worlds fill'd full of several Crea∣tures, and though they last not long, yet are they quickly made, they need not length of time to give them form and shape.

Interrupt.

But there is required Speech to express them, or they are made in vain, if not divulged.

Contempl.

Speech is an enemy to Fancy; for they that talk much, cannot have time to think much; and Fancies are produced from thoughts, as thoughts are from the minde, and the minde which doth create the thoughts, and the thoughts the fancies, is as a Deity; for it entertains it self with it self, and only takes pleasure in its own works, although none other should par∣take, or know thereof; but I shall talk a World out of my head, wherefore farewel.

Ex.

Scene 5.

Enter Poor Virtue, and her Maid Nan Scrapeall.

NAn Scrapeall.

Now your Estate is seized on, you have not means to keep a Servant, as to pay them for their service.

Poor Virtue.

No truly Nan, but that which grieves me most, is, that I have not wherewithall to reward thee for thy past service.

Nan Scrapeall.

I have served you these seven years, and have had nothing but my bare wages, unless it were some of the worst of your cast Clothes; for Mrs. Governess took order I should have none of the best; but I hope you will pay me my half years wages that is due to me.

Poor Virtue.

Truly Nan I am not able, for not only my Estate, but all the Money, Jewels, Plate, and other goods you know was seized on, all that my Father left, or had a right to, unless it were my single self; and if you will take my service for half a year for payment, I will be very honest, dutiful, and diligent.

Nan Scrapeall.

No by my troth, for you have been bred with so much at∣tendance, curiosity, and plenty, as you will rather prove a charge than a pay∣ment; but if you can get means by your youth, and beauty, I shall come and claim what is owing me.

Poor Virtue.

When I am able you shall not need to challenge it; for I will pay you before you ask.

Nan Scrapeall goes out, and Poor Virtue sits down as in a deep study.

Enter an old gray headed man namely Humanity, who seeing her in so Melancholy a Posture, falls a weeping.

Poor Virtue.

Why weepst thou old Humanity?

Humanity.

For the ruine of your noble family. I came a boy to your Grandmother the great and rich Lady Natures service, she being then newly married to your Grandfather the Lord Propriety; from whence sprung your Father the Lord Morality; your Grandfather, and Grandmother dying, I ser∣ved your Father, who soon after married your Mother the Lady Piety, they living, whilst she lived, with Peace and Tranquillity; but she dying, left you only to your Father, as a pledg of their loves; and indeed, you are so like them both, as all must confess they were your Parents, although they knew not your Birth; and yet none can tell which you resembled most: thus have I lived to see your Grandfather, and Grandmother, and Father, and Mother dead, and Peace, and Tranquillity fled; and you sweet Virtue left dessolate and forlorn, both of friends and fortune; but sweet Lady comfort your self, for I have a little fortune, which I got honestly in your Fathers service; and as long as that lasts you shall not want.

Poor Virtue.

I thank you, but you are old Humanity, and ready to go upon Crutches, and age and infirmities are shiftless; wherefore keep it for thy own use.

Humanity.

Why, so is unexperienced youth, both shiftless, and strength∣less.

Poor Virtue.

Tis true, yet youth hath an encreasing advantage; for time carryes youth up, but time pulls Age down; wherefore I will not take that from thee, that will cause thee to be the poorer, or hazard you to want; I shall only desire your advise, what I shall do, and what course I shall follow.

Humanity.

Alas sweet Lady, necessity will drive you into many ex∣tremities.

Poor Virtue.

I shall have fortitude to arm me; but what Counsel will you give me?

Humanity.

The best way for you will be to get into some great Ladies ser∣vice, and in such a place or office as to attend upon her Person, there you may live with honour and respect.

Poor Virtue.

I had rather shrow'd my honest Poverty in a thatcht house, than live in a Palace to be pointed at for my misfortunes; for in this Age, misfortunes are accounted crimes, and poverty is condemned as a thief, and hang'd in the Chains of scorn; wherefore if I could get a service in an ho∣nest poor Farmers house, I might live happy, as being most obscure from the World, and the Worlds Vices; for vice encreases more in Palaces than in Cottages; for in Palaces Pride Plows, Faction Sowes, Riot Reaps, Extortion Threshes, Covetousness Whoords up the grain or gain; there youth is corrup∣ted with Vanity, Beauty catcht with Flattery, Chastity endangered with Pow∣er, and Virtue slandered by Envy; besides, great Persons use their Servants too unequally, making them either Masters, or Slaves; where in an humble Cottage the industrious, and laborious Masters command their Servants friendly and kindly, and are obeyed with love; wherefore good Humanity, seek me out such a Place to live in, to serve.

Humanity.

I will, for I will never forsake you as long as I live, or at least so long as I have leggs to goe.

Poor Virtue.

When you cannot visit me, I will visit you, for I shall never be ungrateful.

Ex.

Scene 6.

Enter the Lady Conversation, and Sir Experience Traveller.

COnversation.

Sir Experience Traveller, you that have been so great a tra∣veller, pray tell me what Nations have the rarest Beauties, and which the greatest Wits?

Sir Experience Traveller.

In all my travels, the rarest Beauty that I have seen, and the greatest Wit that I have heard of, is your self, sweet Lady Con∣versation.

Conver.

Then you have lost your labour; for you might have seen my Beauty, and have heard my Wit, at lesse Charges, and more ease.

Experience Tra.

Tis true Madam, had I only travelled to see a fair Lady, and hear a witty discourse.

Conver.

Why, many travel to lesse purpose.

Experience Tra.

Tis true Madam, for some travel meerly to learn to make a leg or congy with a good grace, and to wear their cloaths, or acouster themselves fashionably. But I have observed in my travels, that very cold Countries, and very hot Countries, have neither so many Beauties, nor so much Wit, at lest not so much as more temperate Countries have.

Conver.

What is the reason of that?

Exper. Trav.

I cannot conceive the reason, unlesse the extream coldnesse of the Climate should congele their Spirits, and stupifie their Brains, making the Spirits unactive to get, and the Brain too barren to breed and bear Wit.

Conversation.

So then you make the Spirits and the Brain the Parents to Wit.

Exper. Trav.

Yes Madam.

Conver.

And what reason give you for the scarcity of Beauties in very cold Climates?

Exper. Trav.

Beauty, Madam, is as tender and fading in the growth, as a Flower, although it be fresh and sweet; and the more delicate it is, the more subject to be nipt with the hard Frost, and to be withered with raw colds.

Conver.

Then hot Countries should produce good store.

Exper. Trav.

No Madam, for extream heat dryes up Wit, as water in a Spring, and Sun-burns beauty.

Conver.

But hot Brains are thought to produce the greatest VVits.

Expe. Trav.

Yes, if they be equally tempered with moisture; for as heat in moisture are Generators of all Creatures, so of Wit; but if the moisture exceed the heat, the Brain, or Mind becomes stupid, if the heat exceeds the moisture, the Brain or Mind becomes mad.

Conver.

VVhat Nation hath the best Language?

Expe. Trav.

There are but three commendable things in Language, those

are to be significant, copious, and smooth, and the English tongue hath the perfection of all, there being an oyle, or butter made of the cream of all o∣ther Languages. Thus, what with the Temperature of the Climate, and the soft, smooth, spreading Language, England produces rarer Beauties, and eloquenter Orators, and finer Poets, than any other Nation in the world; and the Nobility and Gentry live not only in greater grandeur, than in other Na∣tions, but naturally appear or look with a more splendid Great∣nesse.

Conver.

Tis true, they did so in former times, when the Crown kept up Ceremony, and Ceremony the Crown; but since that Ceremony is down, their grandeur is lost, and their splendor put out; and no light thereof re∣mains: But they are covered with a dark rudenesse, wherein the Clown ju∣stles the Lord, and the Lord gives the way to the Clown; the Man takes the wall of his Master, and the Master scrapes legs with Cap in hand to the Ser∣vant, and waits upon him, not out of a generous and noble Nature, but out of a base servile fear, and through fear hath given the Power away.

Exper. Trav.

I am sorry to hear the Nobility is so degenerated.

Ex.

Scene. 7.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and his Friend Master Adviser.

ADviser.

I wonder your Lordship should be so troubled at your Fathers commands, which was to marry the Lady Ward, unlesse she had been ill-favoured and old.

Lord Courtship.

O that's the misery! that she is so young, For I had rather my Father had commanded me to marry one that had been very old, than one that is so young; for if she had been very old, there might have been some hopes of her death; but this young Filly will grow upon me, not from me; besides, those that are young give me no delight, their Company is dull.

Adviser.

VVhy, she is not so very young, she is fifteen years of Age.

Lord Court.

Give me a Lady to imbrace about the years of twenty, rather than fifteen; then is her Beauty like a full-blown Rose in Iune, her VVit like fruit is ripe and sweet, and pleasant to the ear; when those of fifteen are like to green sharp Fruit, not ripened by the Sun of Time. Yet that's not all that troubles me; but I cannot endure to be bound in VVedlocks shackles, for I love variety, and hate to be ty'd to one.

Adviser.

VVhy, you may have the more variety by marrying.

Lord Court.

No faith, 'tis a Bar; for if I should but kisse my wives Maid•• which a thousand to one but I shall, my wife, if she doth not beat her Maid, making a hideous noise, with scoldings, yet she will pour, and cry, and feign her self sick, or else she would Cuckold me, and then I am paid for all.

Adviser.

Faith my Lord, it is a hundred to one but a man when he is mar∣yed

shall be Cuckolded, were he as wife as Solomon, as valiant as David, as fortunate as Caesar, as witty as Homer, or as handsome as Absalom; for Wo∣men are of the same Nature as men, for not one man amongst a thousand makes a good Husband, nor one woman amongst a thousand makes an honest Wife.

Lord Court.

No saith, you might well have put another Cypher and made it ten thousand.

Adviser.

Well my Lord, since you must marry, pray let me counsel you: This Lady Ward being very young, you may have her bred to your own Humour.

Lord Court.

How is that?

Adviser.

VVhy, accustome her to your wayes before you marry her; let her see your several Courtships to several Mistresses, and keep wenches in your house; and when she is bred up to the acquaintance of your customes, it will be as natural to her.

Lord Court.

VVhat, to be a whore?

Adviser.

No, to know your humours, and to be contented there∣at.

Lord Court.

VVell, I will take your advice, although it is dange∣rous: And as the old saying is, the Medicine may prove worse than the disease.

Adviser.

VVhy, the worst come to the worst, it is but parting.

Lord Court.

You say true; but yet a divorce will not clearly take off the disgrace of a Cuckold.

Ex.

Scene 8.

Enter Poor Virtue, and old Humanity.

HUmanity.

I have found out a service, a Farmer which hath the report of an honest labouring man, and his wife a good huswifely woman; they have onely one daughter about your years, a pretty Maid truely she is, and seems a modest one; but how you will endure such rough and rude work, which perchance they will imploy you in, I cannot tell, I doubt you will tire in it.

Poor Virtue.

Do not fear, for what I want in strength, my industry shall supply.

Humanity.

But you must be fitted with cloaths according, and proper to your service.

Poor Virtue.

That you must help me to.

Humanity.

That I will.

Ex.