Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

ACT III.

Scene 13.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, as in a melancholly humour, and Refor∣mer her Woman.

REformer.

Lord Madam! I hope you are not seriously troubled for being out of Countenance.

Lady Bashfull.

Yes truely.

Reformer.

What? as to make you melancholly!

Lady Bashfull.

Yes, very melancholly, when I think I have made my self a scorn, and hath indangered my reputation.

Reformer.

Your reputation! Heaven bless you, but your life is so innocent, harmless, chaste, pure and sweet, and your actions so just and honest, as all the Divels in Hell cannot indanger your reputation.

Lady Bashfull.

But spitefull tongues, which are worse than Divels, may hurt my reputation.

Reformer.

But spite cannot have any thing to say.

Lady Bashfull.

Spite will lye, rather than not speak, for envie is the mother to spite, and slander is the Mid-wife.

Reformer.

Why, what can they say?

Lady Bashfull.

They will say I am guilty of some immodest act, or at least thoughts, or else of some heynous and horrid crime, otherwise I could not be ashamed, or out of countenance, if I were innocent.

Reformer.

They cannot say ill, or think ill, but if they could, and did, what are you the worse, as long as you are innocent.

Lady Bashfull.

Yes truely, for I desire to live in a pure esteem, and an honou∣rable respect in every breast, and to have a good report spoke on me, since I de∣serve no other.

Reformer.

There is an old saying, that opinion travels without a Passe-port, and they that would have every ones good opinion, must live in every mans age: But I am very confident, there is none lives or dyes without censures, or detraction; even the Gods themselves, that made man, hath given man power and free will to speak, at least to think what they will; That makes so many Athiests in thought, and so many several factions by disputation, and since the Gods cannot, or will not be free from censures, why should you trouble your self with what others say, wherefore pray put off this indiscreet and trouble∣some humour, for if you would not regard censure, you would be more con∣fident.

Lady Bashfull.

I will do what I can to mend.

Scene 14.

Enter the Lady Orphant, and Foster Trusty, like two poor Beggers.

FOster.

Childe, you must beg of every one that comes by, otherwise we shall not seem right Beggers.

Lady Orphant.

If our necessities were according to our outward appearance, we were but in a sad condition; for I shall never get any thing by begging, for I have neither learn'd the tone, nor the Beggers phrase to more pity or cha∣rity.

Foster Trusty.

Few Beggers move pity, they get more by importunity, than by their oratorie, or the givers charity.

Enter 2. Gentlemen.

She goeth to them and beggs.

Lady Orphant.

Noble Gentlemen, pity the shiftless youth, and infirm old age that hath no means to live, but what compassionate charity will be∣stow.

1. Gentleman.

You are a young boy, and may get your living by learning to work.

Lady Orphant.

But my Father being very old, is past working, and I am so young, as I have not arrived to a learning degree of age, and by that time I have learn'd to get my living, my Father may be starved for want of food.

2. Gent.

Why, your Father may beg for himself whilst you learn to work.

Lady Orphant.

My Father's feeble legs can never run after the flying speed of pityless hearts, nor can he stand so long to wait for conscience aimes, nor knock so hard to make devotion hear.

1. Gent.

I perceive you have learn'd to beg well, though not to work, and because you shall know my devotion is not deaf, there is something for your Father and you.

2. Gent.

Nay, faith boy, thou shalt have some of the scraps of my charity to, there is for thee.

Lady Orphant.

Heaven bless you; and grant to you, all your good desires.

Gentlemen Ex.

Enter a Lady and Servants.

Lady Orphant.

Honourable Lady, let the mouth of necessity suck the breast of your charity to feed the hungry Beggers.

Lady.

Away you rogue, a young boy and beg! You should be strip'd, whip'd, and set to work.

Lady Orphant.

Alas Madam, naked poverty is alwaies under the lash of miserie, which forceth us to work in the quarries of stony hearts, but we finde the mineral so hard, as we cannot get out enough to build up a lively∣hood.

Lady.

Imploy your selves upon some other work then.

Lady Ex.

Enter a mean Trades-man.

Lady Orphant.

Good Sir relieve a poor begger.

Trades-man.

Faith boy, I am so poor, as I want relief my self; yet of what I have, thou shalt share with me; there is a peny of my two pence, which is all I have, and Heaven do thee good with it.

Trades-man Exit.

Lady Orphant.

I perceive poverty pities poverty, as feeling the like miserie, where riches is cruel, and hard-hearted, not knowing what want is.

Foster Trusty.

I perceive wit can work upon every thing, and can form it self into what shape it please, and thy wit playes the Begger so well, as we needed not to have stored our selves from our own Stocks, but have lived upon the Stocks of others.

Lady Orphant.

But if all Stocks were as insipid as the Ladies, we should have starved, if we had not brought sap from our own home; But Father, I am weighed down with the peny the poor Trades-man gave me.

Foster Trusty.

Why, it is not so heavy.

Lady Orphant.

It is so heavy, as it burthens my conscience, and I shall never be at ease, not be able to travel any farther, until I have restored the peny to the giver again.

Foster Nurse.

How should we do that, for it is as hard and difficult to find out that man, as to finde out the first cause of effects.

Lady Orph.

Well, I will play the Philosopher, and search for him.

Foster Nurse.

But if you should meet him, perchance you will not know he was he.

Lady Orph.

O yes, for his extraordinary charity made me take particular notice of him.

Enter the Trades-man as returning back.

Lady Orph.

Most charitable and —

Trades-man.

What boy, wouldst thou have the other peny,

Lady Orph.

Most Noble Sir, I have received from a bountifull hand, a summe of money, and since you were so charitable to divide the half of your store to me, so I desire I may do the like to you.

Trades-man.

No boy, keep it for thy self, and thy old Father; I have a Trade, and shall get more.

Lady Orph.

Pray take it for luck-sake, otherwise I shall never thrive.

Trades-man.

Faith I finde boy, thou art not as most of the World are; the more riches they get, the more covetous they grow.

Lady Orph.

Sir, pray take this.

Trades-man.

What do you give me here, a piece of Gold?

Lady Orph.

Yes Sir.

Trades-man.

That were extortion, to take a pound for a peny.

Lady Orph.

No, it is not extortion, since I can better space this pound now, than you could your peny, when you gave it me; wherefore it is but ju∣stice,

Trades-man.

Well, I will keep it for thee, and when you want it, come to

me again, and you shall have it: I live in the next street, at the signe of the Holy-lamb.

Lady Orphant.

Pray make use of it, for I may chance never to see you more.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter Sir Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife.

SIr P. Studious.

Faith Wife, with sipping of your Gossiping-cups, I am half drunk.

Lady Ignorance.

Lord Husband! There were some of the Ladies that drank twice as much as you did, and were not drunk, and to prove they were not drunk, was that they talked as much before they drunk, as after; For there was such a confusion of words, as they could not understand each other, and they did no more, when they had drunk a great quantity of Wine.

Sir P. Studious.

That was a signe they were drunk, that they talked less, but how chance that you drank so little.

Lady Ignorance.

Truly, Wine is so nauseous to my taste, and so hatefull to my nostrils, as I was sick when the cup was brought to me.

Sir P. Studious.

I know not what it was to you, but to me it was pleasant, for your Ladies were so gamesome, merry and kind, as they have fired me with amorous love ever since.

Enter the Lady Ignoranc's maid.

Maid.

Madam, the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies, have sent to know if your Ladyship were within, that they might come and wait upon you.

Sir Peaceable Studious chiks the maid under the Chin, and kisses her.

Sir P. Studious

Faith Nan, thou art a pretty wench.

Lady Ignorance.

What Husband? Do you kiss my maid before my face.

Sir P. Studious.

Why not Wife, as well as one of your sociable Ladies in a frollick, as you kiss me, I kiss Nan.

Lady Ignorance.

So, and when Nan kisses your Barber, he must kiss me.

Sir P. Studious.

Right, this is the kissing frollick, and then comes the stricking frollick, for you strike Nan, Nan gently strikes me, and I justly beat you, and end the frollicks with a —

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies of the Societie, with the Lady Amorous.

Lady Wagtail.

What? a man and his Wife dully alone together! Fie for shame.

Lady Amorous.

Lawfull love is the dullest and drouziest companion that is, for Wives are never thought fair, nor Husbands witty.

Sir P. Studious.

Your Ladyship is learned in loves Societies.

Lady Amorous.

Yes that I am, for I have observed, that if there be a match'd company, every man having a woman, their conversation is dull, every mans tongue whispering in his Mistriss eare, whilst the women are mute, listening to that which is whispered unto them; but let there be but one man amongst a company of women, and then their tongues runs races, striving with each other, which shall catch that one man, as the only prize, when the weaker wits runs themselves straite out of breath.

Sir P. Studious.

And must not one man run against them all.

Lady Amorous.

O yes? and many times his wit beats them all.

Sir P. Studious.

Faith Lady? They must not be such strong winded wits as yours is, which is able to beat a dozen Masculine wits out of the field.

Lady Amorous.

You are pleased to give me a complement.

The Lady Ignorance seems melancholly.

Lady Wagtaile.

The merry God have mercy on you? What makes you so melancholly.

Lady Ignorance.

I am not well to day.

Lady Wagtail.

If you are troubled with melancholly vapours, arising from crude humours, you must take as soon as you wake after your first sleep, a draught of Wormwood-wine, then lye to sleep again, and then half an hour before you rise, drink a draught of Jelly-broth, and after you have been up an hour and half, eate a White-wine-caudle, then a little before a dinner, take a Toste and Sack, and at your meals, two or three good glasses of Clarret-wine; as for your Meats, you must eate those of light digestion, as Pheasant, Partridges, Cocks, Snipes, Chickens, young Turkies, Pea-chickens and the like; And in the After-noon, about four or five a clock, you must take Naples-bisket dip'd in Ippocrass, which helps digestion much, and revives the spirits, and makes one full of discourse, and not only to discourse, but to discourse wit∣tily, and makes one such good company, as invites acquaintance, and ties friendship.

The whilst the Lady Wagtail talks to the Lady Ignorance, the eyes her Husband, who seems to court the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous.

Faith I will tell your Wife what you say.

Lady Wagtail.

That is fowl play, and not done like one of the Society, espe∣cially when my Lady is not well.

Lady Amorous.

What? Is she sick! I lay my life she hath eate too much Branne Sturgeon, or Sammon without muskadine or Sack, or N••ats-tongues, Bakon and Anchoves, Caveare, or Lobsters, without Rhenish-wines, or Oy∣sters, or Sausages without Clarret-wine, or hath she eaten Potatoe-pies with∣out dates, Ringo-roots, Marrow and Chestnuts, have you not? i saith confess.

Lady Ignorance.

No indeed.

Lady Amorous.

Why? I hope you have not taken a surfeit of White-meats, those childish meats, or with Water-grewel, Ponado, Barley-grevvel, those Hodge-podgely meats.

Lady Ignorance.

Neither.

Lady Amorous.

Why, then you have over-heated your self with dancing

or fretting and vexing your self at your ill fortune at Cards; or your Tayler hath spoiled some Gown, or your Coach-man was out of the way when you would go abroad; is it not so.

Lady Ignorance.

No.

Lady Amorous.

Why? Then your Husband hath crost some design, or hath angered you some other way.

The Lady Ignorance blushes.

They all laugh, and speak at one time; She blushes, She blushes.

Lady Wagtail.

Faith Amorous, thou hast found it out! Sir Peaceable Studious you are to be chidden to anger your Wife; wherefore tell us how you did anger her, when you did anger her, and for what you did anger her.

Sir. P. Studious.

Dear, sweet, sine, fair Ladies! be not so cruel to me, as to lay my Wives indisposition to my charge.

Lady Wagtaile.

But we will, and we will draw up an Accusation against you, unless you confess, and ask pardon.

Sir P. Studious.

Will you accuse me without a Witness?

Lady Wagtail.

Yes, and condemne you too.

Sir P. Studious.

That were unjust! if Ladies could be unjust.

Lady Amorous.

O Madam! we have a witness? her blushing is a sufficient witness to accuse him; Besides, her melancholly silence will help to condemn him.

Lady Ignorance.

Pardon me Ladies, for when any of our Sex are offended, or angered, whether they have cause or not, they will rail louder than Ioves thunder.

Lady Amorous.

So will you in time.

Lady Wagtail.

Let us jumble her abroad; Come Madam! we will put you out of your dull humour.

Lady Ignorance.

No Madam? Pray excuse me to day; in truth I am not well.

Lady Amorous.

No, let us let my Lady alone, but let us take her Husband, and tutour him

Sir. P. Studious.

Ladies, give me leave to praise my self, and let my self, and let me tell you? I am as apt a Scholar, as ever you met with, and as willing to learn.

Lady Amorous.

Farewell Madam, we will order Sir P. Studious, and try what disposition he is of, and how apt to be instructed.

Lady Ignorance.

Pray do Madam, he promiseth well.

Ex.

Scene 16:

Enter Foster Trusty, and the Lady Orphant.

LAdy Orphant.

Now we are come into the Armie, how shall we demean our selves like poor Beggers.

Foster Trusty.

By no means, for though you beg well, yet you will never get

what you come for with begging, for there is an old saying, that although all charity is love, yet all love is not charity.

Lady Orphant.

It were the greatest charity in the World, for him to love me; for without his love, I shall be more miserable than poverty can make me.

Foster Trusty.

But poverty is so scorned and hated, that no person is accep∣ted which she presents; Nay, poverty is shunn'd more than the Plague.

Lady Orphant.

Why? it is not infectious.

Foster Trusty.

Yes faith, for the relieving of necessity, is the way to be im∣poverished.

Lady Orph.

But their rewards are the greater in Heaven.

Foster Trusty.

'Tis true, but their Estates are less on earth.

Lady Orphant.

But blessings are more to be desired than wealth.

Foster Trusty,

Well? Heaven bless us, and send us such fortune, that our long journey may prove successfull, and not profitless, and because Heaven ne∣ver gives blessings, unless we use a prudent industry; you shall put your self into good clothes, and I will mix my self with his followers and servants, and tell them, as I may truely, that you are my Son, for no mans Son but mine you are, was so importunate, as you would never let me rest, until I brought you to see the Lord Singularity, and they will tell him, to let him know his fame is such, as even young children adore him, taking a Pilgrimage to see him, and he out of a vain-glory will desire to see you.

Lady Orphant.

But what advantage shall I get by that.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and many Commanders attending him.

Foster Trusty.

Peace! here is the General.

Commander.

The enemie is so beaten, as now they will give us some time to breath our selves.

General.

They are more out of breath than we are, but the States are gene∣rous enemies, if they give them leave to fetch their wind, and gather strength again.

Lady Orphant.

Father, stand you by, and let me speak.

She goeth to the General, and speaks to him.

Heaven bless your Excellencie.

Lord General.

From whence comest thou boy?

Lord Orph.

From your native Countrey.

General.

Cam'st thou lately?

Lady Orph.

I am newly arrived.

General.

Pray how is my Countrey, and Countrey-men, live they still in happy peace, and flourishing with plenty.

Lady Orph.

There is no noise of war, or fear of famine.

General.

Pray Iove continue it.

Lady Orphant.

It is likely so to continue, unless their pride and luxurie be gets a factious childe, that is born with war, and fed with ruine.

General.

Do you know what faction is?

Lady Orph.

There is no man that lives, and feels it not, the very thoughts are factious in the mind, and in Rebellious passions arises warring against the soul.

General.

Thou canst not speak thus by experience boy, thou art too young, not yet a mans Estate.

Lady Orphant.

But children have thoughts, and said to have a rational soul, as much as those that are grown up to men; but if souls grow as bodies doth, and thoughts increases with their years, then may the wars within the mind be like to School-boys quarrels, that falls out for a toy, and for a roy are friends.

General.

Thou speakest like a Tutour, what boyish thoughts so ever thou hast; but tell me boy? what mad'st thee travel so great a journey.

Lady Orph.

For to see you.

General.

To see me boy!

Lady Orph.

Yes, to see you Sir; for the Trumpet of your praise did sound so loud, it struck my ears, broke open my heart, and let desire forth, which restless grew until I travelled hither.

General.

I wish I had merits to equal thy weary steps, or means for to re∣ward them:

Lady Orph.

Your presence hath sufficiently rewarded me.

General.

Could I do thee my service boy?

Lady Orph.

A bounteous favour you might do me Sir?

General.

What is that boy?

Lady Orph.

To let me serve you, Sir.

General.

I should be ingratefull to refuse thee, chose thy place.

Lady Orph.

Your Page, Sir, if you please.

General.

I accept of thee most willingly.

Captain.

But Sir? may not this boy be a lying, couzening, flattering dissem∣bling, treacherous boy.

General.

Why Captain, there is no man that keeps many servants, but some are lyers, and some treacherous, and all flatterers; and a Master receives as much injurie from each particular, as if they were joyned in one.

Lady Orph.

I can bring none that will witness for my truth, or be bound for my honesty, but my own words.

General.

I desire none, boy, for thy tongue sounds so sweetly, and thy face looks so honestly, as I cannot but take, and trust thee.

Lady Orph.

Heaven bless your Excellence, and fortune prosper you, for your bounty hath been above my hopes, and equal to my wishes.

General.

VVhat is thy name?

Lady Orph.

Affectionata my Noble Lord.

General.

Then follow me Affectionata.

Ex.