Playes written by the thrice noble, illustrious and excellent princess, the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle.

Scene 15.

Enter Sir Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife.

SIr P. Studious.

Faith Wife, with sipping of your Gossiping-cups, I am half drunk.

Lady Ignorance.

Lord Husband! There were some of the Ladies that drank twice as much as you did, and were not drunk, and to prove they were not drunk, was that they talked as much before they drunk, as after; For there was such a confusion of words, as they could not understand each other, and they did no more, when they had drunk a great quantity of Wine.

Sir P. Studious.

That was a signe they were drunk, that they talked less, but how chance that you drank so little.

Lady Ignorance.

Truly, Wine is so nauseous to my taste, and so hatefull to my nostrils, as I was sick when the cup was brought to me.

Sir P. Studious.

I know not what it was to you, but to me it was pleasant, for your Ladies were so gamesome, merry and kind, as they have fired me with amorous love ever since.

Enter the Lady Ignoranc's maid.

Maid.

Madam, the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies, have sent to know if your Ladyship were within, that they might come and wait upon you.

Sir Peaceable Studious chiks the maid under the Chin, and kisses her.

Sir P. Studious

Faith Nan, thou art a pretty wench.

Lady Ignorance.

What Husband? Do you kiss my maid before my face.

Sir P. Studious.

Why not Wife, as well as one of your sociable Ladies in a frollick, as you kiss me, I kiss Nan.

Lady Ignorance.

So, and when Nan kisses your Barber, he must kiss me.

Sir P. Studious.

Right, this is the kissing frollick, and then comes the stricking frollick, for you strike Nan, Nan gently strikes me, and I justly beat you, and end the frollicks with a —

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies of the Societie, with the Lady Amorous.

Lady Wagtail.

What? a man and his Wife dully alone together! Fie for shame.

Lady Amorous.

Lawfull love is the dullest and drouziest companion that is, for Wives are never thought fair, nor Husbands witty.

Sir P. Studious.

Your Ladyship is learned in loves Societies.

Lady Amorous.

Yes that I am, for I have observed, that if there be a match'd company, every man having a woman, their conversation is dull, every mans tongue whispering in his Mistriss eare, whilst the women are mute, listening to that which is whispered unto them; but let there be but one man amongst a company of women, and then their tongues runs races, striving with each other, which shall catch that one man, as the only prize, when the weaker wits runs themselves straite out of breath.

Sir P. Studious.

And must not one man run against them all.

Lady Amorous.

O yes? and many times his wit beats them all.

Sir P. Studious.

Faith Lady? They must not be such strong winded wits as yours is, which is able to beat a dozen Masculine wits out of the field.

Lady Amorous.

You are pleased to give me a complement.

The Lady Ignorance seems melancholly.

Lady Wagtaile.

The merry God have mercy on you? What makes you so melancholly.

Lady Ignorance.

I am not well to day.

Lady Wagtail.

If you are troubled with melancholly vapours, arising from crude humours, you must take as soon as you wake after your first sleep, a draught of Wormwood-wine, then lye to sleep again, and then half an hour before you rise, drink a draught of Jelly-broth, and after you have been up an hour and half, eate a White-wine-caudle, then a little before a dinner, take a Toste and Sack, and at your meals, two or three good glasses of Clarret-wine; as for your Meats, you must eate those of light digestion, as Pheasant, Partridges, Cocks, Snipes, Chickens, young Turkies, Pea-chickens and the like; And in the After-noon, about four or five a clock, you must take Naples-bisket dip'd in Ippocrass, which helps digestion much, and revives the spirits, and makes one full of discourse, and not only to discourse, but to discourse wit∣tily, and makes one such good company, as invites acquaintance, and ties friendship.

The whilst the Lady Wagtail talks to the Lady Ignorance, the eyes her Husband, who seems to court the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous.

Faith I will tell your Wife what you say.

Lady Wagtail.

That is fowl play, and not done like one of the Society, espe∣cially when my Lady is not well.

Lady Amorous.

What? Is she sick! I lay my life she hath eate too much Branne Sturgeon, or Sammon without muskadine or Sack, or N••ats-tongues, Bakon and Anchoves, Caveare, or Lobsters, without Rhenish-wines, or Oy∣sters, or Sausages without Clarret-wine, or hath she eaten Potatoe-pies with∣out dates, Ringo-roots, Marrow and Chestnuts, have you not? i saith confess.

Lady Ignorance.

No indeed.

Lady Amorous.

Why? I hope you have not taken a surfeit of White-meats, those childish meats, or with Water-grewel, Ponado, Barley-grevvel, those Hodge-podgely meats.

Lady Ignorance.

Neither.

Lady Amorous.

Why, then you have over-heated your self with dancing

or fretting and vexing your self at your ill fortune at Cards; or your Tayler hath spoiled some Gown, or your Coach-man was out of the way when you would go abroad; is it not so.

Lady Ignorance.

No.

Lady Amorous.

Why? Then your Husband hath crost some design, or hath angered you some other way.

The Lady Ignorance blushes.

They all laugh, and speak at one time; She blushes, She blushes.

Lady Wagtail.

Faith Amorous, thou hast found it out! Sir Peaceable Studious you are to be chidden to anger your Wife; wherefore tell us how you did anger her, when you did anger her, and for what you did anger her.

Sir. P. Studious.

Dear, sweet, sine, fair Ladies! be not so cruel to me, as to lay my Wives indisposition to my charge.

Lady Wagtaile.

But we will, and we will draw up an Accusation against you, unless you confess, and ask pardon.

Sir P. Studious.

Will you accuse me without a Witness?

Lady Wagtail.

Yes, and condemne you too.

Sir P. Studious.

That were unjust! if Ladies could be unjust.

Lady Amorous.

O Madam! we have a witness? her blushing is a sufficient witness to accuse him; Besides, her melancholly silence will help to condemn him.

Lady Ignorance.

Pardon me Ladies, for when any of our Sex are offended, or angered, whether they have cause or not, they will rail louder than Ioves thunder.

Lady Amorous.

So will you in time.

Lady Wagtail.

Let us jumble her abroad; Come Madam! we will put you out of your dull humour.

Lady Ignorance.

No Madam? Pray excuse me to day; in truth I am not well.

Lady Amorous.

No, let us let my Lady alone, but let us take her Husband, and tutour him

Sir. P. Studious.

Ladies, give me leave to praise my self, and let my self, and let me tell you? I am as apt a Scholar, as ever you met with, and as willing to learn.

Lady Amorous.

Farewell Madam, we will order Sir P. Studious, and try what disposition he is of, and how apt to be instructed.

Lady Ignorance.

Pray do Madam, he promiseth well.

Ex.