Sir Roger Exception.
It were as good to carry them to a Bawdy-house.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
As good say you, faith now I think of it, better; it were the only place to pass a way idle time. Come Ladyes shall we go.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
To a Bawdy-house.
Lady Amorous.
O sve! sve! Sir Humphrey Bold; how wantonly you talk?
Lady Wagtaile.
But would you carry us in good earnest to a Bawdy-house?
Sir Humphrey Bold.
Why, do you question it, when every house is a secret Bawdy-house. Na! Let me tell you, there be many Right Worshipfull, Nay, Right Honourable, and most Noble Pallaces made Bawdy-houses.
Sir Roger Exception.
Some perchance that are old and ruinous, and the right owners out.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
No, some that are new, large, and finely furnished; and the owners stately, proud, scornfull, and jeering, living therein.
Sir Roger Exception.
They should take heed of jeering, least they be jeered, and of being scornfull, least they be scorned.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
What say you Ladyes, are you resolved.
Lady Wagtaile.
No, No, we will not go with you to such places now; but I will carry you to a young Lady whose Father is newly dead, and hath left her all his Estate; and she is become a great heir.
Sir Roger Exception.
Perchance Lady she will not receive our visit, if her Father be newly dead.
Lady Wagtaile.
I perceive you are ignorant of Funerall customes, for wid∣dowes, heires, and heiresses receives visits whilst the Corpes lyes above ground: And they will keep them so much the longer, to have so many more visitants: nay, sometimes they will keep them so long, as there dissembling is perceived, or so long as they stink above ground; for if they bury not the Corpes and set empty Coffins for want of imbalming, their miserableness will stench up the Nostrils of their vanity.
Sir Roger Vanity.
Nay by your savour Lady, there are some that are buried whilst they are steeming hot.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
Those are only such whose Executors, widdowes, or widdowers, seares they may revive again, and rather than that they should do so, they will bury them alive.
Lady Wagtaile.
You say rightly true, Sir Humphrey Bold.
Sir Timothy Compliment.
Sweet beautyes, let us go to see this Rich heiress.
Sir Roger Exception.
But Ladyes are you acquainted with her.
Lady Wagtaile.
O no! But you may know that all women rather than want visits, they will go to those they never saw, nor spoak to: but only heares of them; and where they live, and I can direct the Coachman to this Ladyes Lodging, wherefore let us go.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
I shall not deny to visit a Rich heiress.
Sir Roger Exception.
I shall waite upon you Ladyes, but—
Lady Wagtaile.
Nay, never make buts, but let's go.
Lady Amorous.
Pray let us call Sir Serious Dumb, to go along with us.
Lady Wagtaile.
Faith Amorous you love his Company, because he can tell no tales.
Sir Humphrey Bold.
Pray call him not, but let him alone: for I dare sweare he is inventing of some useless and foolish Art.
Sir Timothy Compliment.
Is he so inventive say you, but if his inventions is useless, he invents in vain.