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Pausanius THE Betrayer of his Country.
ACT I.
SCENE I. PAUSANIAS's Apartment.
I beg your Graces pardon for disturbing your re∣tirement.
Oh you are ever welcome dear Polaemon.
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I beg your Graces pardon for disturbing your re∣tirement.
Oh you are ever welcome dear Polaemon.
But my Lord I was with Child till I had given you an account of what has past in our Senate just now, we have had huge doings, you know who my Lord, I need not tell you my Lord, his name begins with a C. he gets me up and with his wonted gravity, with a pox to him, makes a most tearing Speech against the Persianites, no better titles he gave us than Traitors to our Liberty, our Country and our Laws; Laws quoth'a, I thought he'd ne're ha' done with his Laws; he throated you out Laws, Laws Laws for an hour together, I stood up my Lord, and what do mee I, my Lord, but —but wisht the Devil had him, and his Laws, I never had so much of the Laws in my Head in all my life; my head does so sing of his Laws, that I don't know what to do my Lord, I am quite and clean deaf with 'em.
Well Polaemon and what then?
My Lord?
How did our Friends take it?
A—Plague of his Laws, I can't hear a word my Lord.
Eternal blockhead how shall I endure him?
Why truly my Lord you'l find it a hard matter, he is never to be gain'd over to us my Lord, he is a bitter Enemy to Persia and to your Lordship.
No matter, I fear him not Polaemon.
The Laws, did your Lordship say any thing of the Laws?
I say I fear him not.
Oh ho you fear him not, no hang him, fear him but then my Lord don't think we had nothing to say to this grim Gentleman, we told him he was of the Sect of Lycurgus, and would set up a Democracy amongst us, an Athenian in his heart, and then rail'd at Demo∣cracy, and said 'twas a nasty slovenly Government, and not fit for a Gentleman, and then the most Tyranical Government of all, he had need talk against Tyranny indeed—pray what did your Lordship say?
Nothing Polaemon nothing.
Ay my Lord, as you say, their we were even with his Laws; but then he began to reflect upon you with a side wind methought; by Iuno's bedstaff I grew into cho∣ler
then and said, and said, and said—my Lord—
Ay you did so, my Lord Polaemon I thank you kindly, you have spent your self with Zeal, I advize you to go home, and refresh your self my dear Friend,—and be Crucifi'd.
And so I will, my Lord, for indeed I am in a very bad way—but my Lord I did what I
Nay, nay, you are not well: I must take care of you: you shall go home.
As for all thy kindness, and sufferings on my account the be∣nefit is laid up in our house, indelibly registred for ever; my Daughter also is thine, as thou desirest; let neither night nor day, make thee remiss in what thou hast promis'd Me; neither be thou hindred by the expense of Gold, or Silver; I have a hundred thousand Men lye ready at Rhodes, who wait thy orders to Set sail for Greece: with Artabazus do boldly Mine, and thine own business, as shall be most fit for the dignity of Vs both.
My dear Argilius good Morrow, I know When you get into this Piazza, you are in a Melancholy way.
You know my Temper Lysander and I wonder at your goodness that you can bear with me, you that are all Spirit and Fire, and never knew one minutes care, wou'd I could say as much.
Why what in the Name of Pluto wou'd ye have? You are the Regents favourite, you swim in the Stream of
Prosperity and all the World courts you, Men and Women, and may if you will enjoy the Charming'st Creature Umph Pandora— Umph.
Not a word of that Lysander their's none but you must know it, besides I have told you my Resolution.
Ay to be inexorable out of a point of Friendship and Gratitude to the Regent; 'tis all Spleen, damn'd spleen, where's Friendship or Gratitude when a fine Woman comes a cross one? there's nothing thought of but how to get her; and if you think otherwise you are ungrateful to your self. To quit Friendship in such a Case, were no more than to rifle the Temple and Debauch a pretty Priestress; and that I've done afore now.
Nay thou art rake-hel enough that's the truth on't, but since you say I have the Spleen so much, pray give me a remedy.
I cou'd prescribe many, but here's one just now fals in my way, you know my Old cross Father like all other Old fellows, when they cant enjoy no more themselves, grow malicious, and hinder us as much as they can, out of a pretence of making us virtuous and sober, forsooth, and if they can find no other way to Plague us, then they clinch us with a Wife, and that Faith is most commonly plague enough, for I'de fain know any thing so sneaking and foolish a sight, as a young Fellow that has bin Mar∣ried but half a year?
What! then I find that's like to be your case you set it off so feelingly.
No, 'tis not like to be my Case I promise you; by Iove I am a Spartan, and love Liberty, he that's indiffe∣rently easy, is a Fool to thro' Dice, whether he shall be so any longer, or no; 'tis perfect nonsense; I wonder any body can have the face to propose Matrimony to a man, unless 'twere to save him from going to Goal for Debt?
If all men were of your mind how shou'd we have the World continue?
Oh—there are people enough in the World, that are fit for nothing else; Fools that will Marry whither ye will or no; all your self admirers too, and your whi∣ning Adorers, I wou'd have Marry; I wou'd have all Ugly people to Marry, and get out of sight, that the hand∣some
ones may enjoy the World, and one another, my Dear.
Well—but a great deal of Money with a Wife, will prove a Comfort to a Man, let the worst happen that you can imagine.
'Tis true Money is a sure stake, and I think there's a great deal of reason we shou'd have it, for since the Ma∣trimonial Sea is so Dangerous we ought to insist upon great Insurance, before we Launch into the deep▪ our Ancestors were Fools, and did'nt know their own worth, Women must have Us, and will have Us, and can't live without Us, no more than they can without sleep, and some of e'm loose a good deal every night about it, wou'd I were with e'm, I'de so rock 'em: then forsooth to keep up the shew of Modesty, for they must not be seen in it for the World, they get a third Party, a go between, a Matrimonial Bawd, (there's abundance of 'em) and they bring you by chance together; the Innocent Virgin knows nothing of the matter, not she▪ nor is'nt Trickt, and drest out, not she; nor dos'nt Simper, not she; then afterwards you are told a damn'd company of lies about her Fortune, or her good Qualities, and they believe the thing might be brought about, and a thousand little tricks, you know 'em.
Why dost thou think all this? They must know Chastity and Modesty are the Virtues most admir'd by us Men.
Ay the scarcest Commodities are ever the most va∣lu'd: you can't know some things 'till you use them, we are Devilishly impos'd upon sometimes in Merchandizes that are set to Sale; what do you think they Dress them∣selves out for, with so much Pains and Art? what do you think they take such Care to shew themselves afterwards for, if not for Sale? and if we past by without Cheap'ning 'em, they'd cry out what do ye Lack Sir.
Fy, fy, meer railing.
What do they Plague me with Matrimony then for? when one's weary of every thing else (as one shall be) then 'tis the time to Marry, ay and to make the best Hus∣band too; to be contented with riding out a mile or two, to take the air, to keep a pack of maingey, stinking Beagles;
to visit my Neighbours in their turns, and to lye with one and the same Woman every night soberly, and gingerly, there's the Husband for ye.
Ha ha ha thou art a rare Philosopher, but what's the remedy for the Spleen, if this ben't one?
This matrimony has put it out of my head, I was going to tell you my Father will have me marry the rich Widow the Lady Demetria's Daughter, that charming Pearl Miss Mawkine.
Oh— I know 'em, Hercules! what a Creature has he found out for you?
An odious thing indeed. I must go and Visit her. Come you shall go along with me.
I can't now, I have business of consequence, but I'le meet you in the Evening, at Minerva's Temple, and then I may have leasure to laugh with you.
The Old Lady sets out I assure you, for something, or another, look to yoor self Argilius.
Well, I dare venture her. Minerva's Temple.
I wonnot fail to meet you.
YOU have a very fine Garden here Madam, and very well understood, as every thing else is a∣bout you.
Oh good Sir I have no fancy at all indeed, if we are but clean, 'tis the most we can pretend to; how∣ever this little out-let is a convenience in the City, I walk here every morning before dinner, for a little fresh air.
'Tis very agreeable Madam and it gives Health and Appetite.
Oh dear Sir I never want Appetite, I wish Maukine had as much poor Child, she is so over-run with the green-sickness, I don't know what to do with her, I make her get up every morning early, when I do, and stir a∣bout,
we were up this morning by nine a clock I protest, and were drest in two hours time, as you may guess by the hanging of our Cloaths.
Nothing can be more exact Madam, I'me in a∣maze it cou'd be done in so short a time, pray Madam don't hurry your self so, let me alone to cure my pretty Jewel here.
Truly Lysander I am a little out of order with it that's the truth on't, but I don't care how I look so I do my poor Girl good; but cou'd you cure her think you, umph —I don't know but you might, if you made her stir Soundly, a warming Exercise is the only way—but she's fit indeed for a Husband, that plays with Babies, have you brought that along with you too? I have told you a hundred times I'de burn it—give me't I say.
O Save me, Save me, I will play with't that I will so.
How dare you say such words, Baggage, ha?
I won't then, I won't Oh Dear Mother—I will play with it then.
Indeed Gentlewoman I shall order you I shall.
O Mother—you've hurt my Issue, oh Gods! oh Gods! oh Gods!
Hold your Tongue you nasty Slut, but I'le throw this away for you.
O dear Madam don't be angry with pretty Miss, poor creature how she Sobs!
Pray Madam, she'l do so no more, I dare pro∣mise for her, she was only practising how to dandle a living Baby of her own.
Oh Sir I'me so troubled with her sometimes, I dont know what in the world to do; yet the Girl has a great deal of good nature in her, and I hope will come off from these Childish things.
Ay Madam a good Husband will make her a Woman.
Some Husbands will go a great way that's the truth on't, I had a good one once, that wou'd have made a Woman of any thing, I am sure I was very Young
and Foolish then, but he made a Women of me presently, while you cou'd say what's this; but I grow old now and must leave that to my Daughter.
No body wou'd take her for your Daughter Madam, you must call her Sister indeed, so youthful and bloom∣ing as you are.
Oh dear Sir it can't be indeed, O good, I dont know truly—I vow I can't be so vain to think it.—but do you speak seriously now?
Madam I'le leave the World to Judg;
No no, I can't belive it, tho' I was young and beauty∣ful once, your Unkle (Lysander) and I were very well together, he was a fine man as I may say, for he always kept great Equipage about him, how I lov'd play in those days, there wou'd be such Squabling, such a pother sometimes, and tho' we were out for a little time, yet we were quickly in again, I was never weary of playing—it makes me laugh ha ha ha, and now to have such a fine young Spark as this say such things to me—does really as it were— I don't know how methinks—but it obliges me to you strangely— I'le Swear I'me out of Countenance. O Iuno! what has she put in her Mouth
Why Mother 'twas only a little Apple my Cousen Memnon gave me, when we were at play together on the Bed in the Damsen Coulor'd Chamber.
Ay thou art a Tom-rigs, fy at this Age? it makes me quit wild, Huzzy have you got nothing else in your Pockets?
No Mother indeed, and indeed now.
I won't believe you, I will see, there∣fore stand still —look here a great peice of Chalk—a Scrap of Parchmin—a great peice of Allum, —an Apple Scoop, and a raw Turnip—are not you a lying Girl? speak—a peice of Plaister-lime and hair, meer Poison—are not you a Vexatious Child? speak
—why do you Plague me thus? speak I say.
I won't.
Come let see what's in t'other Pocket—full of Oatmeal—why wou'd'nt this make any Flesh Mad? but I'le—
Hold Madam hold, let me entreat you.
Oh Sir I am the unfortunat'st Woman in Greece, she breaks her poor Mothers heart that she does, for me this is the daily Life I have with her or worse, I have tri'd all the fair means in the World, but it signifies no∣thing, a great Hoiden as she is, you shall have a Husband indeed, you shall, Ah if Lysander were not your true Lo∣ver, and blind to all your faults you might stay long e∣nough, e're any other wou'd be troubled with you, Oh I'me past Patience.
Maw, waw here's a rout indeed—but I'le be re∣veng'd on you for this and that soon too.
'Tis all nothing Madam, these little things are in∣cident to Youth, she'l make never the worse Wife, this is all Innocent, you may thank the Gods she's Virtuous Madam, and that's the Charm that wins my Heart.
Oh Sir you are a good discreet Young man, as you say, 'tis a great Comfort to me to think she's Virtu∣ous, all the Mischief she do's is to her self poor Child, but when you have her, she'l be Wean'd from every thing of this kind, and I hope I shall have Comfort in her and hers.
No doubt on't Madam, she must be good that comes from you, she must have Beauty, Sense and Virtue if she's your Ladyships Daughter.
Oh sweet Sir you oblige me Eternally to you, and when you and I are better Acquainted, I hope you will speak your Mind freely to me, I love Flat and Plain doings Sir, I am for downright dealing.
Your Ladyship says very true, and I'le promise you, you cou'd not meet with a more upright Man than my Friend here, I'le Answer for him.
Lysander has done me great honour Madam in making me known to your Ladyship, and I shall use all the means Possible to requit him so great a Kindness, and
endeavour always to shew my self deserving of the fa∣vours I receive.
Well I vow I can't choose but look upon you— I Dream't last Night of just such a Face and Person,— well really ones Fancy works very odly when ones a sleep sometimes—Oh Iuno! Oh the Gods! she has run a Pin into me Iove knows how far—where is she—
for Heavens sake Madam be pacifi'd.
Pray Sir meddle with that which belongs to you, you are no Master here. Gods! how it Smarts?
Why so outrageous Madam?
You're a Sawcy Coxcomb Sir, what do you mean? do you know who I am?
Yes Madam you han't conceal'd your self at all, I hope you don't think I or my Friend here, have any design upon you.
Why this is intollerable, to be Affronted thus at my own house, my Daughter! my Scullion's too good for you.
She may be the better Choice for ought I know.
Had your Father the wealth of Persia, he nor you shou'd ever come within my doors, you have your answer Sir.
I am Proud you employ me Madam, my Father shall have your Message.
The sooner the better Sir, there's your way. I shall have a reckoning with you Mistress.
O the sweet Conversation we have had Poor Miss has brought us both off, but She'l pay for't, come let's be gone.
Nothing ever happen'd better, you have had the diversion I promis't you, and I have my Liberty secur'd, much sooner, then I expected. I'le tell my Father how she despis'd him, I know his temper, 'twill put a cer∣tain end to this business, and then the world's my own again.
Thanks to the Gods our Matrimony's done,
Which ne're begins too late, nor ends too soon.
Most mighty most Illustrious, and above all Princes Great and happy Xerxes, your Slave has with unwearied pains and diligence, pursu'd the matters given him in trust, and has at last prevail'd upon Pausanias to send for thy invincible Army, as soon as he shall have don what is expected from him, he shall suffer the same fate this Messenger must, that Xerxes may rise the sole Soverain of Greece, to whom all Nations be Subjected; Artabazus.Brave Villain! And thou Fool Pausanias, Alas! why have I liv'd to see thy ruin? My peaceful Ashes undisturb'd had lain, And in the Grave I had not curst thy Birth; Some other then might have perform'd this task, Which tears a Mothers Soul. Now I find out why this Solemnity, Neptune must be implor'd with Sacrifice To bring the Persian Fleet, and Army safe; Can then Religion serve such Impious ends! Nature be gon, here I disclaim my Blood, Incorrigible to a Mothers councel, Often forgiven, still Engag'd in Ill, A spreading Gangreen to his Royal Stem, And must be fever'd to redeem the whole; I will assert the Glory of his Ancestors, Which he thus seeks to tarnish. Alass, in vain such black Designs are laid, Thousands of Noble Souls defend our Sparta, Unconquer'd Hearts, disdaining Slavish Rule, And the attempt is ever fatal: O ye Immortal Gods! Laugh not at humane Misery, but renew our Hopes, Let us convince the World you made us free, And yet uncancel'd stands that first Decree.